September 4, 2024 • 38 mins
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Ever wondered how birthday celebrations evolve as you transition from your 20s to your 30s as a gay man? Join us as we share our hilarious and heartfelt journey through smelly shoes, nostalgic escapades, and the transformation from simple gatherings to extravagant trips. Benji takes us on a tour of his fabulous birthday adventure in "Gay Paris," while Brad reminisces about his uniquely themed 21st birthday cake. Along the way, we chat about maintaining personal freedom in relationships, especially when planning solo trips, all with our signature humor and candor.
Next, prepare to be whisked away to the enchanting streets of Paris. We recount our unforgettable experiences from Disneyland Paris to the bustling city nightlife. Listen as we share amusing tales from the provocative shows at the shower club Raid to the extravagant performances at Moulin Rouge, including a jaw-dropping act involving a topless dancer and snakes. Our vivid storytelling and laughter-filled anecdotes will have you planning your own Parisian adventure in no time!
We cap off the episode with some cultural critiques and a deep dive into relationship dynamics. From discussing the financial impact of the British royal family to the controversial nature of football culture, we leave no stone unturned. Then, we explore the complexities of sexual compatibility in relationships, illustrated through personal stories and listener advice. Finally, we wrap up with a call to action for our listeners to engage with us on social media and share their own queer diaries. Tune in for more laughter and insightful conversations next Wednesday!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Smells like cheese in here.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, that's because you've got your shoes right by
me.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Actually, it was a link to your story about Paris,
but never mind.
Hello and welcome to my Big GayPodcast with me, Benji.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
And me, brad, giving you.
Oh, my God, I've lost some ofthem.
What, what was I in?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Can you smell toast?
Let's start that again.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me benji
and me brad, giving you thelife, the loves and lols of
living in london two g one city.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
What could possibly?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
go wrong.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I was trying to outlast your.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Oh, do you?
Yeah, I do.
That's your thing, is it?
Yeah, always in competitionwith me, Always.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And always winning honey.
How?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
are you?
I'm good, thank you, I'mactually back from a birthday
trip away.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Oh, so he doesn't care how I am All right, how I'm
actually back from a birthdaytrip away, oh so he doesn't care
how I am.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
All right.
Oh you, was it nice.
It was really nice, thank you,but I just wanted to actually
bring up about birthdays in your30s and being gay.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Sorry, why is every episode bringing up our age?
You're obsessed, you'reobsessed, so you're old.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So, you're a granddad right.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
A granddaddy.
Haven't you shagged agranddaddy?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I don't see that on the notes.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's because we already talked about it last
season.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
In fairness, I didn't realise he was a granddad until
afterwards.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You're right that makes it much better.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I was like, oh, we're up to this weekend.
It's like I'm celebrating my60th birthday.
Could have blown everyone witha feather.
I'm celebrating my 60thbirthday.
Could have blown everyone witha feather.
I'm sorry, what 60?
I thought you were in your 40s.
Yeah, my grandkids are comingover.
Oh my God, get me out of thisbedroom now.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Stood there in your jock like sorry, do you know
where my other sock is?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Anyway, that is another story for another time.
Well, tell me if you have adifferent experience.
In your 20s, right in the gayworld, you go to like a bar for
your birthday.
Something happens in your 30s.
Suddenly the gays are like wewant to go away for a weekend,
we want to go to paris, we wantto go to germany, we want to go
to wherever.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And these birthdays become bigger and more expensive
and more extravagant everydecade I love how you're
complaining about this, but Iknow, because where did you go
For my friend's?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
birthday Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Gay Paris.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Gay Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And was it gay?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It was fucking gay and I loved it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
We're going to have the Parisian tourist board
calling us up.
It's fucking gay.
It's fucking gay.
Fucking camp as tits.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, good gay scene in Paris.
Who knew Love it?
But before I talk about mylittle paris adventure, do you
find the same like in your 20s?
What were you doing for yourbirthdays?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
um, I remember for my 21st birthday I had friends
around to my parents house.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I was still straight at this point my girlfriend was
there and, oh my god, we'regoing way back in time.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Jesus, my sister had bought a.
No, my mom had made a cake andmy sister had bought.
You know, there's like printedicing paper tops, like a picture
printed.
Yeah, you know what picture shegot printed to cover the
entirety of my cake.
We're talking like a big, Iwant to say like 45 centimeter
diameter cake I know exactlywhat this is your headshot from
drama school no, this before Igraduated.
(03:18):
it's so much more camp than thatyou in a school play.
It's another famous ginger,jerry from Spice Girls.
Ariel, ariel, the LittleMermaid was on my cake for their
21st youngest son's, who wasstraight birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And your mum didn't know you were gay at the time.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
No, I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
And yet she gave you an Ariel cake.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
No, my sister did it, but no one questioned it.
Nobody questioned it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Which I mean is loving in itself.
It's it, nobody questioned it.
Which I mean it's loving initself, such.
They were just hoping, I think,but yeah anyway, yeah, wow.
But then birthdays in your 30s,you find that you end up doing
bigger things, going away, etc Ithink, well, we've got
different social groups anyway,haven't?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
we've obviously got like our group of gays that we
hang out with in clapham, etc.
But we have different pods aswell, and a lot of my other
friends are women and straights.
Actually, a lot of them are nowmarried and I don't know how
you can say to them let's go onholiday, but please don't bring
your husbands.
Oh yeah, is that rude?
I don't think it's rude.
I think if I was married andhappily married, loved my
(04:17):
husband to absolute pieces.
Here's me wishing.
One day it happens and you werelike, listen, we're going to go
on a gay mates holiday, nopartners.
I would have no problem tellingmy other half like I'm going on
holiday, you're not coming,look after the dog yeah, on
holiday with the boys.
I think, that's healthy.
I think it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, for me, I don't care what it is, for them I
don't believe in having apartner and doing every single
thing with them all the timetime no I think you need to have
a bit of freedom a lot offreedom, yeah, because then we
(04:52):
can talk about, so obviously youcome back back.
Oh, my goodness, let me tellabout my weekend, yeah I mean, I
haven't had many like birthdayoutings.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I've had a lot of hendoos this year.
Oh, you have too many.
And then weddings as well oh mygoodness listen, if any of
those people are listening.
I've had the best time on theHindus and I've had the best
time on the weddings, but it isa lot.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
It's a lot yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And I'm not talking financially, just when you're
single, going to all theseHindus and all these weddings,
it is a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Everyone, with their couples and their partners, and
then there's you with your dogliterally how no, ned didn't
come actually, but there is atall these weddings.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You're always going to find somebody else in the
same sort of boat as you.
I've actually got a weddingcoming up next weekend oh my
goodness, how excitingManchester, manchester as well
yes, and I booked a reallylovely hotel and the day we get
there the bride has justmessaged me like arrive, what
are you doing?
I was like, oh, I get in atlike 10 to 2.
She's like, okay, great,because you can't check in until
like gone three.
So do you mind coming to helpset up where the wedding is?
(05:49):
And obviously I don't have noproblem setting up.
But you know what I'd actuallydone?
I'd called the hotel and saidlisten, I'm coming all the way
from london.
I'm going to be absolutelybloomin exhausted.
Please make sure my room isready for arrival.
They have said no problem,they'll get an early check-in
nice, and then I book myself instraight into the spa ah, love
that for you you love a spahotel a spa in general.
So if you can hear that likefarting noise, it's this leather
(06:09):
seat.
It's benji's loose hole it's, oh, it's, um, it's this leather
seat.
I'll try not to move around,but I love a spa.
I actually took my mom to onenot that long ago.
I know we've gone on a tangent,sorry.
We'll bring it back to you inparis, I promise, but um, I took
my mum to one and she justdidn't know what to do with
herself.
Bless her heart.
Nice, just didn't, just didn'tlike.
She was like, should we go inthe pool?
She couldn't do the steam room.
(06:30):
It was too much, right, yeah,yeah, I, I love that bougie
lifestyle.
In fact, on my bucket list,fingers crossed, this happens.
I really want to go to umvienna nice, yeah, yeah, they
have it's either the largest inEurope or largest in the world.
That spa.
Gay men's only?
Well, it's men's only sauna.
Sorry, it's not gay sauna, it'smen's only sauna.
But I think from the websitesthat I've been reading, it is
(06:53):
very.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Gay friendly.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Very, very gay friendly.
Yeah, and it's like threefloors, it's like an old palace.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I've seen this on Instagram or TikTok, or
something.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It actually looks amazing.
I've probably been the onesending you all the videos?
Probably, yeah, but there'slike statues, it's just like big
paintings, but the whole thingis a spa, like different floors,
there's steam rooms.
So I really want to go to that.
This is not me inviting you,just so you know.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Got my suitcase.
I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
No, I told you before naked sauna with any friends, I
would get the giggles with youas well.
I'd get the giggles.
I just don't want to be staringat your willy like whilst I'm
trying to relax and steam andinhale yeah, when your eye poked
out by it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Why are?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
you getting that close, bloody hell.
Anyway, sorry you, paris, I'mready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I love Paris.
Have you been to Paris beforeto Disney?
Is Paris?
I'm ready, let's go.
I love Paris.
Have you been to Paris before?
To Disney?
Is that?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
all you've done in Paris, just Disneyland?
Yeah, I think so I've driventhrough Paris by accident.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That was hell.
Right, yeah, cried the wholetime, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
They push you with their bumpers, do they?
Literally yeah, but no, I don'tthink I've had so you've never
been to the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
No, you've never been taken up the Eiffel Tower, or
that.
No, paris is lovely, highlyrecommend Anyone listening who
might want to go somewheredifferent for a weekend away.
And we went to this club calledRaid R-A-I-D-D Two Ds at the
end.
I love two Ds, two Ds.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
At the end of the night.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Also known as the shower club, because in this
club it's like a normal club bar, etc.
They have a shower built intothe wall and every hour a man
comes into the shower andshowers Fully naked.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Fully naked Like a sexy shower.
Sexy shower, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
So, like you know, squelching the lotion on the
body, rubbing the lotion on thebody, rubbing the lotion in,
comes in in like a pair ofSpeedos.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Oh, so it's like a show.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
It's a show it's an actual show, this person that
came to the shower when we werethere the biggest dick I've ever
seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I don't know why, when you say dick, it just goes
straight through me.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I don't mean it that way Really.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, oh, actually is this the video that you showed
me.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh, I put it on the podcast.
I was drunk, oh yeah, and itgot removed.
It did get removed.
I thought we were going to getcompletely removed in general.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, you can't put that on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I didn't realise.
You can't not share things likethat.
But anyway, lesson learnedobviously.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Would you see anyone else sharing things like that,
or do you just have to askyourself?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
do.
I is true, but I'd had a fewwines at this point, so I was
just living my best life.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
You are chaos a little bit, a little bit.
Well, that's interesting, sohighly recommend that, just as
like a you know, a uniqueexperience.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I've never been a unique, wholesome evening, a
lovely evening out with thefamily and how often does this
uh machine happen?
I think it's like every, either, every half hour, every hour.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So you stayed there for how many hours?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
no, we was there clubbing, we did, we did like a
whole bar crawl, but we wentthere for like a beer and how
many shower shows did you see?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
just the one oh, really oh.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And then I saw him afterwards as well, like in the
club.
I was like, oh my god, I justsaw you in the shower.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It's like, oh, bonjour, oh my god, french gonna
hate you.
Perfect, you know he's clean.
That's true, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
yeah, I've just seen you squeaky clean.
You are good to go.
Love, you are good to go.
I'll be out the back see youthere in two minutes yeah,
shower show, so check that outif you're ever in Paris.
And also one thing that I loveI've always wanted to go is the
Moulin Rouge.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Welcome to the Moulin Rouge say it in a French accent
the Moulin Rouge, the that'snot French.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Oh yeah, le.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Moulin Rouge.
Wow, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Le Moulin Rouge.
Wow, thank you bilingual.
I'm bi lingual oh my goodness,now I'm getting the city tides
don't do this not the peace signwith it?
oh, my goodness, I'm now gettingthe giggles as well.
But no, check out the MoulinRouge if you're gonna go.
It's quite expensive but it'sworth doing.
(10:44):
The one thing that I did notenjoy, though, like Moulin Rouge
, is a massive cabaret show,loads of dancers.
They do the can-cans, where thecan-cans run, etc.
They had this like pool come upfrom the stage and a woman most
of the women are topless in theshow dive in the pool and in
the pool, and in the pool weresnakes and she does this whole
like dance where, like, thesnakes are like swimming around
(11:05):
her and she's like putting thesnakes around her body.
Weren't feeling that bit.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I'm feeling that I don't like your leg oh my
goodness my heel oh my goodness,if you heard that, that's just
me breaking my heel, sorry, wowsnakes.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Broken Hills, alexandra Burke right here.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Oh my gosh, wow sorry , snakes yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I've never seen that before in my life either.
So not only did I see a showershow in a club never seen, also
a woman, woman, topless womandancing with four snakes that's
more like Indiana Jones, yeah,yeah it was very much that, yeah
yeah that was like the wholekind of theme, that sort of
Indiana Jones-y tribal theme ofthe number and these snakes are
trying to get out of the that isnot the type of snake that I
(12:04):
like the snake I like isshowering in the club down the
road.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Wrap that round me, honey.
This I'm out.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I'm out, but anyway, if you fancy something different
, you've never been to Parisbefore.
Highly recommend there are twoplaces for you to go that I've
just recommended for you.
Good luck and bonjour.
God bless, benji.
Yes, bradley, I want to play agame with you.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Whoa.
Don't play with me, though,because I feel weak at the
moment.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You're still not very well.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Still not great and very single.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh God, we can't have this for a whole season.
You whinging that you're single.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
You did Dare.
We bring up the Drake and hisex-boyfriend breakup.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Not again.
I'm over that.
I'm over that.
I'm so good.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
So good, I'm so good.
All right, come on then.
What's the game?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Okay, well, it's a new game that I have made up and
I thought it would be good ourinternational listeners to get
to know a little bit about usand what we like being British,
oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I mean, I'm from Jersey.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That's still part of the UK, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I know.
But anyone listening fromJersey, we like to be known as,
like you know, independent.
Yeah, but that's fine, we'll gowith it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But you know, you live in London, you.
So this is a game called Britor Quit Brit or Quit, nice
jingle Brit or Quit.
So I'm going to give yousomething that's quite British
Right and you've got to say Brityes and like up for that or
like nah quit Got it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
So Brit means like yes, it's part of my heritage, I
love it, I agree with it.
And quit means nah, I'm donewith it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, exactly means now I'm done with it.
Yeah, exactly, and it's allpart of british culture.
Got it okay?
First one on the list, let's goglastonbury.
Oh, quit, quit, absolutely quit.
Now for those of you who likewhat's glastonbury.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
It is a massive festival that happens every year
in the uk.
It's the largest, isn't?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
it.
Yeah, every summer they've hadhuge headliners.
In the past we just had jualipa perform.
This year we've had adele inthe past, elton John, all the
greats right.
I've done Glastonbury.
It's a bit like Coachella inAmerica.
I'd say yeah you know, ifyou're into festivals, that is
like the one to go to.
They sell out so fast, haven'tthey?
Have you seen all those videosof people that are like hardcore
(14:18):
Glastonbury fans with on thephone synced up trying to get
tickets when the tickets drop?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
No, I have not.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Mad Mental, because she's a quitter.
She's a quitter, do you know?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
what it is.
It's not so much the music.
You know I don't like massivecrowds anyway, I don't mind the
hooplas and the prides of theworld, but even then I'm not as
sleeping in a tent Love camping.
I'm not being like, you know,I'm not being high maintenance
Love camping, but I don't knowif I could camp at a field with
(14:48):
thousands and thousands of otherpeople all sharing the same
toilets.
If it rains, it's muddy andeveryone just like embraces the
mud.
I've seen videos of people likejust rolling, caked in what
they think is mud, what we hopeis mud, yeah, and I'm just like
that's a slip and slide.
No, yeah.
Not for me and unwashed smellyyeah Breath.
I've got a very sensitive nosebut I'm really fun.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So if you're single, I am actually on the same page
as you.
I've never been to Glastonbury.
I'm also not about the tentlife.
Now I did actually have a lookbecause on my bucket list is to
do Glastonbury once.
I feel like as a British personI should probably do it once in
my lifetime and I looked atthose, the glamping thing that
you can do at Glastonbury, youknow, when you're like the
lovely teepees that's alreadyset up and beautiful butler, all
(15:33):
of that, yeah, you have like.
Well, I don't have a butler,but you've got like your own bar
, your own like toilets, awayfrom everybody.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Okay, that might be good.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And in the glamping, like these lovely tents are like
double beds, Proper double beds.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, but do you think you're going to get a wink
of sleep?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But it's just having a little lie down.
You know A nice little lie downafter.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That's true, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I looked at the costs .
Oh how much Expensive.
Thousands, thousands, thousands, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
For the glampers yeah .
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So I can only do Glastonbury if I hit the jackpot
.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Wow, no again.
No, I would rather spendthousands on something else,
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
If I'm like, okay, do you want to go to Glastonbury
for a weekend or go away on alovely holiday?
Can?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
you imagine, though, us and like if we took eight
friends and all of us were likewe have a grand to spare, yeah,
the 10 of us.
Imagine 10 grand.
We'd get like a massive villa.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Right In like sitches .
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Or even further afield, Like we'd go.
So we're in Greece.
Okay, I actually want to makethis happen now.
Have our own pool, like Right.
For that money and stay therefor like two weeks for food, not
drink, because I know how muchyou drink.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
You're like a goldfish, big old alcoholic but
um, yeah, I would much ratherspend the money on that right.
And that's basically whathappened was like do I want to
do that for a weekend or go awayfor a long holiday?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
thousands.
Oh, my goodness, in the papersthat I read this morning it was
like that the youth, so theyoungsters, whatever they were,
that I says my actually probablywasn't us I mean, I don't think
we're part of that categoryanymore.
But it was basically saying,like people are really
struggling to get on theproperty ladder this year
because at the moment, becausethey don't have enough money,
because everything's tooexpensive, right?
Well, here they all are,spending it on Glastonbury and
(17:09):
the Gale Time in the field.
Gale Time yeah, oh well,actually, yeah, almost sold me
on it, but I'm afraidGlastonbury for me is a quit.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay, number two crumpets.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Absolute.
I cannot say this strong enoughIf I'm really considering
cancelling all my plans for therest of the day to go home and
eat crumpets because I'm Brit,brit, brit.
Crumpets are one of my all-timefavourite, favourite things.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I didn't know this was going to be this.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah, as you can tell , I'm very passionate about it.
It has to be a particular brand, but I'm very, very much here
for the crumpets.
In fact, if we went on a dateand I ended up staying at yours
and you made me crumpets, I'dprobably ask you to marry me
right then and there, wow, youheard it here on the podcast
(18:01):
right away.
Or have a really good sense ofhumor, remember, it's not just
about that One or the other, Oneor the other, both jackpot.
What do you put on yourcrumpets?
This is why I love crumpets.
You can put all sorts on them,right.
I like it with jam, I like itwith butter.
I've had it with just butterand salt.
I know cardiac arrest, butdelicious.
Uh-huh.
Poached eggs, yeah cheese, yeahcheese.
I'm with you.
Cheese ham.
I know you're veggie, but hambacon ooh, bacon on crumpets
(18:23):
imagine, like your, what do theycall them?
eggs benedict?
Yes, instead of an Englishmuffin on a crumpet on a crumpet
, crumpets are here to stay.
I'm horny, crumpet, crumpet.
Call me daddy Warburton, I'mready, I'm literally.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'm rock solid grumpets are here to stay.
Actually fun story.
A friend of ours uh, recentlygot a boyfriend.
Love that for him.
They are going full steam ahead.
They're moving together likeit's all happening for them.
Love that.
He is also our friend,massively into crumpets.
Got the boyfriend into crumpetsas well, like a crumpet before
bed.
When I spoke to the boyfriendthe other day I was like, oh,
(19:00):
how's it all going like enjoyingliving together.
He's like, oh, my goodness, wehave the same crumpet heat
setting on our toaster.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
We are a match made in heaven no, I mean, I think
that's a little bit too far.
But that's cute, they're bothcute.
They share something.
Yeah, I'm thrilled that you'reso happy together, the two of
you.
I don't quite know who you'retalking about, but you can tell
me afterwards.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
You know you're in a solid relationship when you've
got the same crumpet heatsetting as each other.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Please stop saying crumpet.
I'm honestly so aroused, Okay.
I'm moving on Now, just a quickone Last thing before we move
on from crumpets.
You can get like the regularcrumpets Right, and I've already
sort of said which is myfavourite brand.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
They don't fall for it, not the same.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
No one's toaster is built for that delicious crumpet
.
So, it doesn't toast right.
You have to put it in one sideand then turn it and then it
goes cold the other side.
If any true crumpeter will knowthat once you have to get it to
the perfect crumpet setting intheir toaster and then eat it
straight away.
You have to butter, it almostimmediately melt into the tiny
little holes.
Yes, oh, my goodness, I'm sohungry.
(20:00):
God bless the zen pic.
So, brit, brit, brit, brit brit,brit okay, and if anyone works
for any major uk crumpet factory, please.
I don't even want freebies, Iwant a tour I want a tour of
your crumpet factory.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Please love it.
Oh my god, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Next question, the royal family bit controversial
bit controversial, so somethingthat you might not know.
If you're ready for this, funfact is I actually am related to
the royal family now you havetold me this once before.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, so you're gonna have to tell me again, because
aren't you some sort of cousinor something?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
yeah, so I don't normally talk about it because a
it means nothing, I'm neverinvited to anything and I don't
know really how I feel about theroyal family, if I'm honest
with you.
But yeah, it is a directbloodline and the best way to
think about it is either thecurrent king is my mum's 22nd
cousin.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
So you're the 23rd cousin of the king?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't know if it works quite like that, but
something like that.
But going further back, kingJohn was my 24th
great-great-grandfather, king.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
John, is that like Robin Hood era?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I don't know I can't answer these questions.
All I know is what I've beentold.
I've been related to a fewdifferent of the kings, even
like back to like Macbeth.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, historical, historical, hence the ginger
hair.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That makes total sense.
Yeah, so you didn't get aninvite to the coronation.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, I actually said to mum.
I was like, why are we notinvited to any sort of weddings?
And like most people havealready twigged back at home,
22nd cousin is that's a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That's like thousands and thousands of people.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Like it's not.
Like we're on their christmasamazon wish list, right, do you
mean?
But, um, so I am related to theroyal family.
Do I believe in the royalfamily?
I'm split.
Do I believe that they bringgood to the country?
Yes, I do.
I know how much money they makeright, the tourism yeah the
tourism is humongous.
Do I think that they do enoughfor how, how much money they get
?
I know they they do an awfullot, but for that amount of
(22:03):
money I don't know.
Like, haven't they just raisedking charles's grant by like?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
oh yeah, 40 million or something.
Yeah, 24 million, 40 minutes.
Yeah, they get like a yearlyincome, don't they?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
it's all tax-free, no tax paid on it, and I know they
have a lot of things to expendit on.
They have beautiful palaces andstuff to upkeep, but cost of
living crisis, hun, I can't Ican't, I can't afford an avocado
.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, just the crumpet, just the grumpet so you
didn't say brit or quick.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I think you're in the middle, you've got to pick one.
I I'm gonna go brit, but I feellike we need to make changes.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Okay, brit, but some changes to be made I feel like
we're better with them thanwithout them sure, but I think I
agree.
I think things need to changecool, I'm on the same page as
you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I don't want Anastasia.
You know like when the royalfamily is like all kicked out
their palace and it's empty andshe stands there in the snow
with her hat, with a spotlighton her, and sings heart can't
fail me now.
Thank you next.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Okay, so next one on the Brittle Quick Questions
Football Quit.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Quit, and I refuse to allow us to accept the fact
that football is part of ourculture.
Now, did we invent football?
Yes, we did.
We did in the war.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We did and I get it Before the war.
It's been going on for ages.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
No, darling Honey, Honey, honey, honey, honey.
Years in the making Baby Beforethe war.
It's been going on for ages.
No, darling Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey.
Years in the making Baby.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
They paid it in the war Baby Honey, honey, honey,
honey.
You think we invented it in thewar?
Yes, lies Before Hundreds andhundreds of years.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Podcasters, we're going to take a very quick break
so we can both hop onto Googleand so go fill up your drinks,
grab a cup of tea, pop thatcrumpet in that toaster and
we'll be back in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Podcasters.
We've done a bit of Googlingand you will never ever guess
who is correct on this situation.
I can't believe it.
I quit Me.
I was correct.
I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Get on this situation .
I can't believe it.
I quit Me.
I was correct, I'm leaving.
Get my bag, get that door, getthat fire exit door.
I'm off.
Where's the producer?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I knew it.
I knew it Because you are right.
In World War I, they stoppedfighting each other, didn't they
?
The English and the Germans?
To play a game of football onChristmas Day?
Right, fine, I'll sit back downagain, right, exactly.
So obviously it's got to havebeen invented before then.
To play, it was actuallyinvented in 1863.
Fun fact, oh my God, look atthe podcast being educational
and historical.
Come on Google.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Okay, so it's still a quit for me.
Still a quit.
Yeah, Did you know that?
What was the big competition wejust had?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
The Euros the Euros England, were in the final.
I actually went and watched thefinal.
Can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I actually did watch that as well did you yeah, but I
don't feel like I can talkabout this in a fun setting with
the facts.
I was about to spit with theserams, I was about to cut bomb
did you not enjoy.
It no right.
First of all I want to say thatI disagree with football so
much I With where the money goes, with the sponsorships, the
endorsements, all of it.
(24:58):
I also completely more thanjust the sport itself, because I
really appreciate that thesport doesn't hold all the
responsibility of this, but whatit does to people and what it
does to domestic violence ishorrific.
Now I read some stats that saidI forgot which charity body it
was.
I will try to find out whichone it was for the next episode.
(25:19):
But they said like if Englandwin a match, domestic violence
goes up X percent, and it was alot.
It was like in the 20 percent.
And if they lose it goes up likedouble.
That, yeah, I can imagine.
I cannot believe that we stillallow a sport that is so
glorified to be thrust into themedia to encourage this sort of
(25:39):
behavior and we're not doingenough about it.
Now I know that somewhere Iwant to say Germany.
Where was the final?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
The final was held.
Was it Italy?
Might have been Italy.
No, no Spain.
Well, wherever it was, held.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
I know that they were trying to do alcohol free,
right, they were trying to banalcohol.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Because the other thing about Brits we love to
drink, that's like a just notjust gays.
All Brits love drinking.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
But I think football in general very drink culture.
And you win, you throw yourdrinks and then you just buy
another one.
You carry on going and youdrink more and more and more and
more and more and then thesedrunk, hyped up partners end up
going home to their otherpartners and just awful things
happen.
So I can never get on boardwith football.
I really can't.
(26:20):
I respect as a sport.
I certainly couldn't do it.
I can't even run for the bus,let alone huff her down a
football pitch, but I couldnever stand by football.
Sure, however, just going toflip it on its head ever so
slightly and say that Men in thefootball kit.
Oh, my Christ Love it.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
If I were to have a fetish, it would be a man in a
football kit.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I was wearing my football kit earlier on.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
That's a lie.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I wasn't wearing a football kit, but they looked
football-esque.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
They were the most bottom-of-bottom shorts I've
ever seen in my life, and Benjiis embracing his bottom era.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Okay, I'm not a bottom, I'm not a Benji's middle
era, but was I wearing them,bending forward and Twerking you
?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
were like do I look like a bottom like this?
And you twerked in your kitchenin your football shorts.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And I saw you looking and I said I'm going to wear
them out tonight and you're likeyeah, do it.
I was like, oh, I know what shewants Anyway.
So I know that's quite ajuxtaposition.
I'm not making light of thefacts.
I just spit out at all, but yes, obviously as a single gay man
watching these very athletic,sexy, well-groomed men.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I think it's the long socks.
I like the long socks on theguys.
It's the shorts, the shorts andthe bums.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
They've got good bums , such good bums, and then they
like fight and push each otherover and they cry and I want to
go cradle them Shh shh shh shhshh, shh, shh, shh, shh shh shh
shh Bam bam, bam.
Yeah, so Trash.
How do we ever cost a livingcrisis when people spend
(27:48):
thousands on football ticketsand then alcohol and it's too
much, too much.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Okay, final one of Brit or Queer, let's go.
I feel like I know the answerto this, but I'm going to ask
anyway.
The X Factor.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh, is that still going?
I don't.
A key moment, especially for us, us millennials.
We grew up with this sorry, whoare you?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
do you remember that?
Yes, with Danny McNally, oh mygoodness.
Yes, with Danny McNally.
With Natalie Imbruglia yes, yesthe singing was not great girls
.
Who are you sorry?
Who are you now?
What the X Factor gave us waslots of cultural iconic moments.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, a lot of drag queens use them to this day,
yeah, in their cutaways.
Yeah, do you remember the onebetween?
Was it Ronan Keating?
And who was the other judgeTalisa?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
oh, gary Barlow, and he was like, oh my god, the
faggash breath.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, I can smell your faggash breath yeah, yeah,
yeah and then she tried toalcoholic yeah I was really here
for the job loved it, you dothe same thing over and over
again with him.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
It's not working so, lisa, I don't know what's
offended me more what you'vesaid or the faggish breath.
And also remember when the twofriends like started fighting
and sheryl was like oh my god,she just got hit in the face.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the same one that said
sorry, who are you?
That's why she punched her.
Oh, my goodness, actually, yes,I'm so here for it.
So, brit, I'm gonna say Brit,although I know it's all over
the world, but I'm gonna sayBrit, I think it's done, it's
time.
Oh yeah, I think it's timewe've had enough like you and
the perm.
It's been done.
We've all seen it.
There's nothing else we can getfrom it.
(29:21):
It's time to move on.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Yeah, yeah but as the in the in the time period that
we grew up, brit right so, brit,I remember my social calendar
was saturday night.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
We're going to watch x factor, get pizzas in with my
girlfriend and my best man wowhow long are we going back in
time and my best mates, one ofwhich, so my best mate, and then
his girlfriend at the time.
She's now married to somebodyelse and he is also now gay love
that she actually listens tothe podcast.
Oh wow, it's a out to you,darling, if you're listening at
home, which is a nice fullcircle moment.
(29:50):
But yeah, we used to watch XFactor every weekend.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
One of my favourite moments before we wrap up this
segment.
Do you remember when AlexandraBurke was in the final and they
get to sing crying?
And she's like, oh, my goodness, can't believe I'm going about
to say this.
Please welcome to the stage myidol beyonce.
And then beyonce walks on oh,oh yes literal goosebumps.
(30:13):
Think about that moment rightnow I actually had completely
forgotten that and then they'resinging.
Listen from dream girls.
Beyonce is like riffins andbelting.
And alexandra burke, she's justlooking at her, she's crying,
she's like I can't believe I'msinging with beyonce, beyon.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Beyonce just doesn't do that stuff anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
She's too big for that now.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
B, I love you, but why are you not coming down a
bit more to our level?
Come on, why are you not comingto the podcast?
Off your Swarovski horse.
Come on the podcast.
Babes, Make your nice coffee.
That is good.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
TV A moment.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Just one more thing before we wrap up.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I know we're in the X Factor, like cultural moments,
I know, although it's not aboutX.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Factor.
It's about an American TV showwhere they it's basically
karaoke and they sing and thenquite often they bring a star to
come out who they start theirown song and then the other
people have to like pick up thekaraoke right, yeah, yeah.
I forgot what it's called.
I'll find out.
Please welcome Beyonce and theback of the stage.
(31:07):
The whole, like wall goes upyeah into an alleyway, which is
obviously where the set isdropped off, and there's like a
car.
Beyonce gets out the car walksonto the stage, gives you like
bam, bam, yack, yack, yack.
No one can see me at home.
I'm absolutely in my Beyoncefantasy finishes singing,
doesn't even wait for the othersto carry on.
Puts the light down turnsaround, gets back in the car,
drives off the wall, comes downand afterwards they were like is
(31:30):
she coming back?
And they were like no, that wasit.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Iconic, amazing.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Imagine.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
That is cunt.
I don't know if we can say that, but we've said it.
To go, britt.
Great.
Well, thank you for playing mylittle game thank you, britt or
Brat.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
No, what was?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
it Britt or Twit Britt or Tit Twit.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Twit well, your money is a Twit.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Okay, we're moving on .
Speaker 1 (31:55):
We're moving on anyway.
Come on on with the podcastwell, podcasters.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It's that time of the week it's time for Queer Diary.
Queer Diary we usedbroadcasters.
It's that time of the week it'stime for queer diary, queer
diary.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
We just get a new jingle, don't we?
Yeah, I feel like I should havehad a job in like making
jingles.
Um, yes, so our queer diaryentry for today is hi boys, I'm
looking to start dating again,but I have a really high sex
drive, which is actually thereason my last relationship
ended.
How can I start dating againwithout having sex as often?
(32:29):
Or I think it must mean likewhen they're starting to date
someone, to begin with maybethey don't want to have sex
straight away, but then theycan't be committed to that
person because they'll besleeping around or that maybe
what they find is they want tohave sex every day and generally
most people don't want thatevery day maybe I have no idea.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, I don't know how, whatthe norm is yeah, what is the
(32:50):
norm?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
is there a norm?
I think there is, is there?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I don't know there is .
I definitely don't every day.
I'm sure the people there arepeople that do as in, you don't
want sex every day I mean wantand have, I guess are very
different things I definitelydon't have do you have a high
sex drive, really high yeah, I,I have ways of controlling it.
Like I don't feel, I don'tthink this will be a problem for
me right necessarily um, but Idon't know what you would do in
(33:14):
this situation.
If you're finding it thatdifficult to then not be able to
date.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I don't know, that's a funny one so I actually have a
friend of mine same situationmet this guy.
Everything about it was tick,tick, tick.
They dated for quite some time,about a year, and they had to
break it off because he was likewe're just not sexually on the
same page.
Like my friend wanted sex allthe time, like most days, and
this guy was like I justphysically cannot give you that.
Like it's just I don't havethat same urge and it's a bit of
(33:41):
a sad breakup because they'reboth really into each other and
they didn't want to go openeither.
So it's really hard when youwant to date someone, you want
to find someone that's on thesame page as you, with lots of
things right Humour, sexuallypersonality, maybe shared
hobbies and interests.
It's very hard to find that oneperson and this does come up
(34:01):
you know the whole sex drivething.
I think you know everyone'sslightly different.
I don't know what the answer is.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I don't know what the answer is.
I don't know what the answer is.
I mean, I have been in likedating people and I think I've
been on both sides actually,where maybe I've wanted more and
they've been like I'm just notin the mood and vice versa, but
I don't know if it should besomething that then stops a
relationship.
I guess with your friendsthat's maybe a different
circumstance if they've beengoing on for however long like
up to a year.
Yeah, and it's still an issue,then yes, I don't think that's
going to be one that's going tobe resolved.
Yeah, I think early on, I thinktry not to really overthink it.
(34:32):
Just enjoy spending time withthat person.
You're not committed to them.
So, actually, if you are goingon dates with them but you are,
if you haven't had thediscussion of like oh, we're
just seeing each other orwhatever, then don't worry.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
If you are like still on other apps and you know,
playing around, and obviouslythat comes part of the package
right when you start seeingsomeone.
If it's going well, youprobably will end up having sex
at some point and exploring yoursexual relationship together,
and I guess that's where you canfigure out if you're compatible
in that way very true and Ithink maybe explore other ways
to fulfill your needs.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Let's say yes, then it involving somebody else, I
think could be a good way toit's a very interesting topic.
I don't know if anyone has anyexperience in this or has it
come up in their relationshipand how they overcome it.
Like you said, with openrelationships anyone that
doesn't know what that is it'ssort of when you're committed to
each other but you allow eachother to go and sleep with a
third party, somebody else, butnot together.
(35:23):
Yeah, interesting one.
I don't know what other advicewe need to give on that one.
If anyone listening has anyadvice for them, please write in
and we will share it.
On next week's episodeabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
We always love to hear from you.
Goodness me, what an episodewe've had this week.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I know quite the factual all the facts, all the
facts, all the facts get them.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle.
Football royalty.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle football
royalty, all of it, everything,all of it.
I'll take the lot butpodcasters, that is all we have
time from this week's episode ofmy big gay podcast.
If you have enjoyed it, pleasehead over to my Instagram or our
TikTok and give us a follow.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
It is at big gay podcast and, of course, slip
into the DM so that we can getyour messages, messages.
We want to hear your queerdiaries, any fun stories, facts,
advice, tips, whatever, we'lltake the lot whatever it is,
it's right and we'd love to hearfrom you.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
But, like I said, that is all we have time for in
this week's episode.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Until next time, see you next wednesday, we was in
sync then were we yeah, I feltlike we hit the same pitch.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
That's very rare very rare, since you singing sounds
like a bag of cats being likeright and I fully agree with you
on that one.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Have you heard me do karaoke once?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
don't make me sing you broke the microphone, so
there was no singing for anybodyafter you I've just seen that
meme of celine dion where she'slike I will sing yeah that's me.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I will sing again that's me at karaoke, when you
take the mic away from me yeah,and you get out your own
microphone, I will sing, oh I'llsing again I'll sing again.
I'll sing again.
That's for sure, thank you.
Smells like cheese in here.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, that's because you've got your shoes right by
me.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Actually, it was a link to your story about Paris,
but never mind.
Hello and welcome to my Big GayPodcast with me, Benji.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
And me, brad, giving you.
Oh, my God, I've lost some ofthem.
What, what was I in?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Can you smell toast?
Let's start that again.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me benji
and me brad, giving you thelife, the loves and lols of
living in london two g one city.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
What could possibly?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
go wrong.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I was trying to outlast your.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Oh, do you?
Yeah, I do.
That's your thing, is it?
Yeah, always in competitionwith me, Always.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And always winning honey.
How?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
are you?
I'm good, thank you, I'mactually back from a birthday
trip away.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Oh, so he doesn't care how I am All right, how I'm
actually back from a birthdaytrip away, oh so he doesn't care
how I am.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
All right.
Oh you, was it nice.
It was really nice, thank you,but I just wanted to actually
bring up about birthdays in your30s and being gay.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Sorry, why is every episode bringing up our age?
You're obsessed, you'reobsessed, so you're old.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
So, you're a granddad right.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
A granddaddy.
Haven't you shagged agranddaddy?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I don't see that on the notes.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's because we already talked about it last
season.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
In fairness, I didn't realise he was a granddad until
afterwards.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
You're right that makes it much better.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I was like, oh, we're up to this weekend.
It's like I'm celebrating my60th birthday.
Could have blown everyone witha feather.
I'm celebrating my 60thbirthday.
Could have blown everyone witha feather.
I'm sorry, what 60?
I thought you were in your 40s.
Yeah, my grandkids are comingover.
Oh my God, get me out of thisbedroom now.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Stood there in your jock like sorry, do you know
where my other sock is?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Anyway, that is another story for another time.
Well, tell me if you have adifferent experience.
In your 20s, right in the gayworld, you go to like a bar for
your birthday.
Something happens in your 30s.
Suddenly the gays are like wewant to go away for a weekend,
we want to go to paris, we wantto go to germany, we want to go
to wherever.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And these birthdays become bigger and more expensive
and more extravagant everydecade I love how you're
complaining about this, but Iknow, because where did you go
For my friend's?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
birthday Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Gay Paris.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Gay Paris.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And was it gay?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It was fucking gay and I loved it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
We're going to have the Parisian tourist board
calling us up.
It's fucking gay.
It's fucking gay.
Fucking camp as tits.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, good gay scene in Paris.
Who knew Love it?
But before I talk about mylittle paris adventure, do you
find the same like in your 20s?
What were you doing for yourbirthdays?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
um, I remember for my 21st birthday I had friends
around to my parents house.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I was still straight at this point my girlfriend was
there and, oh my god, we'regoing way back in time.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Jesus, my sister had bought a.
No, my mom had made a cake andmy sister had bought.
You know, there's like printedicing paper tops, like a picture
printed.
Yeah, you know what picture shegot printed to cover the
entirety of my cake.
We're talking like a big, Iwant to say like 45 centimeter
diameter cake I know exactlywhat this is your headshot from
drama school no, this before Igraduated.
(03:18):
it's so much more camp than thatyou in a school play.
It's another famous ginger,jerry from Spice Girls.
Ariel, ariel, the LittleMermaid was on my cake for their
21st youngest son's, who wasstraight birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And your mum didn't know you were gay at the time.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
No, I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
And yet she gave you an Ariel cake.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
No, my sister did it, but no one questioned it.
Nobody questioned it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Which I mean is loving in itself.
It's it, nobody questioned it.
Which I mean it's loving initself, such.
They were just hoping, I think,but yeah anyway, yeah, wow.
But then birthdays in your 30s,you find that you end up doing
bigger things, going away, etc Ithink, well, we've got
different social groups anyway,haven't?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
we've obviously got like our group of gays that we
hang out with in clapham, etc.
But we have different pods aswell, and a lot of my other
friends are women and straights.
Actually, a lot of them are nowmarried and I don't know how
you can say to them let's go onholiday, but please don't bring
your husbands.
Oh yeah, is that rude?
I don't think it's rude.
I think if I was married andhappily married, loved my
(04:17):
husband to absolute pieces.
Here's me wishing.
One day it happens and you werelike, listen, we're going to go
on a gay mates holiday, nopartners.
I would have no problem tellingmy other half like I'm going on
holiday, you're not coming,look after the dog yeah, on
holiday with the boys.
I think, that's healthy.
I think it's healthy.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, for me, I don't care what it is, for them I
don't believe in having apartner and doing every single
thing with them all the timetime no I think you need to have
a bit of freedom a lot offreedom, yeah, because then we
(04:52):
can talk about, so obviously youcome back back.
Oh, my goodness, let me tellabout my weekend, yeah I mean, I
haven't had many like birthdayoutings.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I've had a lot of hendoos this year.
Oh, you have too many.
And then weddings as well oh mygoodness listen, if any of
those people are listening.
I've had the best time on theHindus and I've had the best
time on the weddings, but it isa lot.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
It's a lot yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And I'm not talking financially, just when you're
single, going to all theseHindus and all these weddings,
it is a lot.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Everyone, with their couples and their partners, and
then there's you with your dogliterally how no, ned didn't
come actually, but there is atall these weddings.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You're always going to find somebody else in the
same sort of boat as you.
I've actually got a weddingcoming up next weekend oh my
goodness, how excitingManchester, manchester as well
yes, and I booked a reallylovely hotel and the day we get
there the bride has justmessaged me like arrive, what
are you doing?
I was like, oh, I get in atlike 10 to 2.
She's like, okay, great,because you can't check in until
like gone three.
So do you mind coming to helpset up where the wedding is?
(05:49):
And obviously I don't have noproblem setting up.
But you know what I'd actuallydone?
I'd called the hotel and saidlisten, I'm coming all the way
from london.
I'm going to be absolutelybloomin exhausted.
Please make sure my room isready for arrival.
They have said no problem,they'll get an early check-in
nice, and then I book myself instraight into the spa ah, love
that for you you love a spahotel a spa in general.
So if you can hear that likefarting noise, it's this leather
(06:09):
seat.
It's benji's loose hole it's, oh, it's, um, it's this leather
seat.
I'll try not to move around,but I love a spa.
I actually took my mom to onenot that long ago.
I know we've gone on a tangent,sorry.
We'll bring it back to you inparis, I promise, but um, I took
my mum to one and she justdidn't know what to do with
herself.
Bless her heart.
Nice, just didn't, just didn'tlike.
She was like, should we go inthe pool?
She couldn't do the steam room.
(06:30):
It was too much, right, yeah,yeah, I, I love that bougie
lifestyle.
In fact, on my bucket list,fingers crossed, this happens.
I really want to go to umvienna nice, yeah, yeah, they
have it's either the largest inEurope or largest in the world.
That spa.
Gay men's only?
Well, it's men's only sauna.
Sorry, it's not gay sauna, it'smen's only sauna.
But I think from the websitesthat I've been reading, it is
(06:53):
very.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Gay friendly.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Very, very gay friendly.
Yeah, and it's like threefloors, it's like an old palace.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I've seen this on Instagram or TikTok, or
something.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It actually looks amazing.
I've probably been the onesending you all the videos?
Probably, yeah, but there'slike statues, it's just like big
paintings, but the whole thingis a spa, like different floors,
there's steam rooms.
So I really want to go to that.
This is not me inviting you,just so you know.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Got my suitcase.
I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
No, I told you before naked sauna with any friends, I
would get the giggles with youas well.
I'd get the giggles.
I just don't want to be staringat your willy like whilst I'm
trying to relax and steam andinhale yeah, when your eye poked
out by it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Why are?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
you getting that close, bloody hell.
Anyway, sorry you, paris, I'mready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I love Paris.
Have you been to Paris beforeto Disney?
Is Paris?
I'm ready, let's go.
I love Paris.
Have you been to Paris before?
To Disney?
Is that?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
all you've done in Paris, just Disneyland?
Yeah, I think so I've driventhrough Paris by accident.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That was hell.
Right, yeah, cried the wholetime, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
They push you with their bumpers, do they?
Literally yeah, but no, I don'tthink I've had so you've never
been to the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
No, you've never been taken up the Eiffel Tower, or
that.
No, paris is lovely, highlyrecommend Anyone listening who
might want to go somewheredifferent for a weekend away.
And we went to this club calledRaid R-A-I-D-D Two Ds at the
end.
I love two Ds, two Ds.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
At the end of the night.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Also known as the shower club, because in this
club it's like a normal club bar, etc.
They have a shower built intothe wall and every hour a man
comes into the shower andshowers Fully naked.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Fully naked Like a sexy shower.
Sexy shower, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
So, like you know, squelching the lotion on the
body, rubbing the lotion on thebody, rubbing the lotion in,
comes in in like a pair ofSpeedos.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Oh, so it's like a show.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
It's a show it's an actual show, this person that
came to the shower when we werethere the biggest dick I've ever
seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I don't know why, when you say dick, it just goes
straight through me.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I don't mean it that way Really.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, oh, actually is this the video that you showed
me.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh, I put it on the podcast.
I was drunk, oh yeah, and itgot removed.
It did get removed.
I thought we were going to getcompletely removed in general.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, you can't put that on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I didn't realise.
You can't not share things likethat.
But anyway, lesson learnedobviously.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Would you see anyone else sharing things like that,
or do you just have to askyourself?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
do.
I is true, but I'd had a fewwines at this point, so I was
just living my best life.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
You are chaos a little bit, a little bit.
Well, that's interesting, sohighly recommend that, just as
like a you know, a uniqueexperience.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I've never been a unique, wholesome evening, a
lovely evening out with thefamily and how often does this
uh machine happen?
I think it's like every, either, every half hour, every hour.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So you stayed there for how many hours?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
no, we was there clubbing, we did, we did like a
whole bar crawl, but we wentthere for like a beer and how
many shower shows did you see?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
just the one oh, really oh.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And then I saw him afterwards as well, like in the
club.
I was like, oh my god, I justsaw you in the shower.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It's like, oh, bonjour, oh my god, french gonna
hate you.
Perfect, you know he's clean.
That's true, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
yeah, I've just seen you squeaky clean.
You are good to go.
Love, you are good to go.
I'll be out the back see youthere in two minutes yeah,
shower show, so check that outif you're ever in Paris.
And also one thing that I loveI've always wanted to go is the
Moulin Rouge.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Welcome to the Moulin Rouge say it in a French accent
the Moulin Rouge, the that'snot French.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Oh yeah, le.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Moulin Rouge.
Wow, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Le Moulin Rouge.
Wow, thank you bilingual.
I'm bi lingual oh my goodness,now I'm getting the city tides
don't do this not the peace signwith it?
oh, my goodness, I'm now gettingthe giggles as well.
But no, check out the MoulinRouge if you're gonna go.
It's quite expensive but it'sworth doing.
(10:44):
The one thing that I did notenjoy, though, like Moulin Rouge
, is a massive cabaret show,loads of dancers.
They do the can-cans, where thecan-cans run, etc.
They had this like pool come upfrom the stage and a woman most
of the women are topless in theshow dive in the pool and in
the pool, and in the pool weresnakes and she does this whole
like dance where, like, thesnakes are like swimming around
(11:05):
her and she's like putting thesnakes around her body.
Weren't feeling that bit.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I'm feeling that I don't like your leg oh my
goodness my heel oh my goodness,if you heard that, that's just
me breaking my heel, sorry, wowsnakes.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Broken Hills, alexandra Burke right here.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Oh my gosh, wow sorry , snakes yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I've never seen that before in my life either.
So not only did I see a showershow in a club never seen, also
a woman, woman, topless womandancing with four snakes that's
more like Indiana Jones, yeah,yeah it was very much that, yeah
yeah that was like the wholekind of theme, that sort of
Indiana Jones-y tribal theme ofthe number and these snakes are
trying to get out of the that isnot the type of snake that I
(12:04):
like the snake I like isshowering in the club down the
road.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Wrap that round me, honey.
This I'm out.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I'm out, but anyway, if you fancy something different
, you've never been to Parisbefore.
Highly recommend there are twoplaces for you to go that I've
just recommended for you.
Good luck and bonjour.
God bless, benji.
Yes, bradley, I want to play agame with you.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Whoa.
Don't play with me, though,because I feel weak at the
moment.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You're still not very well.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Still not great and very single.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh God, we can't have this for a whole season.
You whinging that you're single.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
You did Dare.
We bring up the Drake and hisex-boyfriend breakup.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Not again.
I'm over that.
I'm over that.
I'm so good.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
So good, I'm so good.
All right, come on then.
What's the game?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Okay, well, it's a new game that I have made up and
I thought it would be good ourinternational listeners to get
to know a little bit about usand what we like being British,
oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I mean, I'm from Jersey.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That's still part of the UK, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I know.
But anyone listening fromJersey, we like to be known as,
like you know, independent.
Yeah, but that's fine, we'll gowith it.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But you know, you live in London, you.
So this is a game called Britor Quit Brit or Quit, nice
jingle Brit or Quit.
So I'm going to give yousomething that's quite British
Right and you've got to say Brityes and like up for that or
like nah quit Got it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
So Brit means like yes, it's part of my heritage, I
love it, I agree with it.
And quit means nah, I'm donewith it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, exactly means now I'm done with it.
Yeah, exactly, and it's allpart of british culture.
Got it okay?
First one on the list, let's goglastonbury.
Oh, quit, quit, absolutely quit.
Now for those of you who likewhat's glastonbury.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
It is a massive festival that happens every year
in the uk.
It's the largest, isn't?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
it.
Yeah, every summer they've hadhuge headliners.
In the past we just had jualipa perform.
This year we've had adele inthe past, elton John, all the
greats right.
I've done Glastonbury.
It's a bit like Coachella inAmerica.
I'd say yeah you know, ifyou're into festivals, that is
like the one to go to.
They sell out so fast, haven'tthey?
Have you seen all those videosof people that are like hardcore
(14:18):
Glastonbury fans with on thephone synced up trying to get
tickets when the tickets drop?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
No, I have not.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Mad Mental, because she's a quitter.
She's a quitter, do you know?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
what it is.
It's not so much the music.
You know I don't like massivecrowds anyway, I don't mind the
hooplas and the prides of theworld, but even then I'm not as
sleeping in a tent Love camping.
I'm not being like, you know,I'm not being high maintenance
Love camping, but I don't knowif I could camp at a field with
(14:48):
thousands and thousands of otherpeople all sharing the same
toilets.
If it rains, it's muddy andeveryone just like embraces the
mud.
I've seen videos of people likejust rolling, caked in what
they think is mud, what we hopeis mud, yeah, and I'm just like
that's a slip and slide.
No, yeah.
Not for me and unwashed smellyyeah Breath.
I've got a very sensitive nosebut I'm really fun.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So if you're single, I am actually on the same page
as you.
I've never been to Glastonbury.
I'm also not about the tentlife.
Now I did actually have a lookbecause on my bucket list is to
do Glastonbury once.
I feel like as a British personI should probably do it once in
my lifetime and I looked atthose, the glamping thing that
you can do at Glastonbury, youknow, when you're like the
lovely teepees that's alreadyset up and beautiful butler, all
(15:33):
of that, yeah, you have like.
Well, I don't have a butler,but you've got like your own bar
, your own like toilets, awayfrom everybody.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Okay, that might be good.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And in the glamping, like these lovely tents are like
double beds, Proper double beds.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, but do you think you're going to get a wink
of sleep?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But it's just having a little lie down.
You know A nice little lie downafter.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That's true, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I looked at the costs .
Oh how much Expensive.
Thousands, thousands, thousands, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
For the glampers yeah .
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So I can only do Glastonbury if I hit the jackpot
.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Wow, no again.
No, I would rather spendthousands on something else,
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
If I'm like, okay, do you want to go to Glastonbury
for a weekend or go away on alovely holiday?
Can?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
you imagine, though, us and like if we took eight
friends and all of us were likewe have a grand to spare, yeah,
the 10 of us.
Imagine 10 grand.
We'd get like a massive villa.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Right In like sitches .
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Or even further afield, Like we'd go.
So we're in Greece.
Okay, I actually want to makethis happen now.
Have our own pool, like Right.
For that money and stay therefor like two weeks for food, not
drink, because I know how muchyou drink.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
You're like a goldfish, big old alcoholic but
um, yeah, I would much ratherspend the money on that right.
And that's basically whathappened was like do I want to
do that for a weekend or go awayfor a long holiday?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
thousands.
Oh, my goodness, in the papersthat I read this morning it was
like that the youth, so theyoungsters, whatever they were,
that I says my actually probablywasn't us I mean, I don't think
we're part of that categoryanymore.
But it was basically saying,like people are really
struggling to get on theproperty ladder this year
because at the moment, becausethey don't have enough money,
because everything's tooexpensive, right?
Well, here they all are,spending it on Glastonbury and
(17:09):
the Gale Time in the field.
Gale Time yeah, oh well,actually, yeah, almost sold me
on it, but I'm afraidGlastonbury for me is a quit.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay, number two crumpets.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Absolute.
I cannot say this strong enoughIf I'm really considering
cancelling all my plans for therest of the day to go home and
eat crumpets because I'm Brit,brit, brit.
Crumpets are one of my all-timefavourite, favourite things.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I didn't know this was going to be this.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah, as you can tell , I'm very passionate about it.
It has to be a particular brand, but I'm very, very much here
for the crumpets.
In fact, if we went on a dateand I ended up staying at yours
and you made me crumpets, I'dprobably ask you to marry me
right then and there, wow, youheard it here on the podcast
(18:01):
right away.
Or have a really good sense ofhumor, remember, it's not just
about that One or the other, Oneor the other, both jackpot.
What do you put on yourcrumpets?
This is why I love crumpets.
You can put all sorts on them,right.
I like it with jam, I like itwith butter.
I've had it with just butterand salt.
I know cardiac arrest, butdelicious.
Uh-huh.
Poached eggs, yeah cheese, yeahcheese.
I'm with you.
Cheese ham.
I know you're veggie, but hambacon ooh, bacon on crumpets
(18:23):
imagine, like your, what do theycall them?
eggs benedict?
Yes, instead of an Englishmuffin on a crumpet on a crumpet
, crumpets are here to stay.
I'm horny, crumpet, crumpet.
Call me daddy Warburton, I'mready, I'm literally.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I'm rock solid grumpets are here to stay.
Actually fun story.
A friend of ours uh, recentlygot a boyfriend.
Love that for him.
They are going full steam ahead.
They're moving together likeit's all happening for them.
Love that.
He is also our friend,massively into crumpets.
Got the boyfriend into crumpetsas well, like a crumpet before
bed.
When I spoke to the boyfriendthe other day I was like, oh,
(19:00):
how's it all going like enjoyingliving together.
He's like, oh, my goodness, wehave the same crumpet heat
setting on our toaster.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
We are a match made in heaven no, I mean, I think
that's a little bit too far.
But that's cute, they're bothcute.
They share something.
Yeah, I'm thrilled that you'reso happy together, the two of
you.
I don't quite know who you'retalking about, but you can tell
me afterwards.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
You know you're in a solid relationship when you've
got the same crumpet heatsetting as each other.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Please stop saying crumpet.
I'm honestly so aroused, Okay.
I'm moving on Now, just a quickone Last thing before we move
on from crumpets.
You can get like the regularcrumpets Right, and I've already
sort of said which is myfavourite brand.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
They don't fall for it, not the same.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
No one's toaster is built for that delicious crumpet
.
So, it doesn't toast right.
You have to put it in one sideand then turn it and then it
goes cold the other side.
If any true crumpeter will knowthat once you have to get it to
the perfect crumpet setting intheir toaster and then eat it
straight away.
You have to butter, it almostimmediately melt into the tiny
little holes.
Yes, oh, my goodness, I'm sohungry.
(20:00):
God bless the zen pic.
So, brit, brit, brit, brit brit,brit okay, and if anyone works
for any major uk crumpet factory, please.
I don't even want freebies, Iwant a tour I want a tour of
your crumpet factory.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Please love it.
Oh my god, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Next question, the royal family bit controversial
bit controversial, so somethingthat you might not know.
If you're ready for this, funfact is I actually am related to
the royal family now you havetold me this once before.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, so you're gonna have to tell me again, because
aren't you some sort of cousinor something?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
yeah, so I don't normally talk about it because a
it means nothing, I'm neverinvited to anything and I don't
know really how I feel about theroyal family, if I'm honest
with you.
But yeah, it is a directbloodline and the best way to
think about it is either thecurrent king is my mum's 22nd
cousin.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
So you're the 23rd cousin of the king?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't know if it works quite like that, but
something like that.
But going further back, kingJohn was my 24th
great-great-grandfather, king.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
John, is that like Robin Hood era?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I don't know I can't answer these questions.
All I know is what I've beentold.
I've been related to a fewdifferent of the kings, even
like back to like Macbeth.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, historical, historical, hence the ginger
hair.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That makes total sense.
Yeah, so you didn't get aninvite to the coronation.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, I actually said to mum.
I was like, why are we notinvited to any sort of weddings?
And like most people havealready twigged back at home,
22nd cousin is that's a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That's like thousands and thousands of people.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Like it's not.
Like we're on their christmasamazon wish list, right, do you
mean?
But, um, so I am related to theroyal family.
Do I believe in the royalfamily?
I'm split.
Do I believe that they bringgood to the country?
Yes, I do.
I know how much money they makeright, the tourism yeah the
tourism is humongous.
Do I think that they do enoughfor how, how much money they get
?
I know they they do an awfullot, but for that amount of
(22:03):
money I don't know.
Like, haven't they just raisedking charles's grant by like?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
oh yeah, 40 million or something.
Yeah, 24 million, 40 minutes.
Yeah, they get like a yearlyincome, don't they?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
it's all tax-free, no tax paid on it, and I know they
have a lot of things to expendit on.
They have beautiful palaces andstuff to upkeep, but cost of
living crisis, hun, I can't Ican't, I can't afford an avocado
.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, just the crumpet, just the grumpet so you
didn't say brit or quick.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I think you're in the middle, you've got to pick one.
I I'm gonna go brit, but I feellike we need to make changes.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Okay, brit, but some changes to be made I feel like
we're better with them thanwithout them sure, but I think I
agree.
I think things need to changecool, I'm on the same page as
you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I don't want Anastasia.
You know like when the royalfamily is like all kicked out
their palace and it's empty andshe stands there in the snow
with her hat, with a spotlighton her, and sings heart can't
fail me now.
Thank you next.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Okay, so next one on the Brittle Quick Questions
Football Quit.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Quit, and I refuse to allow us to accept the fact
that football is part of ourculture.
Now, did we invent football?
Yes, we did.
We did in the war.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We did and I get it Before the war.
It's been going on for ages.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
No, darling Honey, Honey, honey, honey, honey.
Years in the making Baby Beforethe war.
It's been going on for ages.
No, darling Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey.
Years in the making Baby.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
They paid it in the war Baby Honey, honey, honey,
honey.
You think we invented it in thewar?
Yes, lies Before Hundreds andhundreds of years.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Podcasters, we're going to take a very quick break
so we can both hop onto Googleand so go fill up your drinks,
grab a cup of tea, pop thatcrumpet in that toaster and
we'll be back in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Podcasters.
We've done a bit of Googlingand you will never ever guess
who is correct on this situation.
I can't believe it.
I quit Me.
I was correct.
I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Get on this situation .
I can't believe it.
I quit Me.
I was correct, I'm leaving.
Get my bag, get that door, getthat fire exit door.
I'm off.
Where's the producer?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I knew it.
I knew it Because you are right.
In World War I, they stoppedfighting each other, didn't they
?
The English and the Germans?
To play a game of football onChristmas Day?
Right, fine, I'll sit back downagain, right, exactly.
So obviously it's got to havebeen invented before then.
To play, it was actuallyinvented in 1863.
Fun fact, oh my God, look atthe podcast being educational
and historical.
Come on Google.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Okay, so it's still a quit for me.
Still a quit.
Yeah, Did you know that?
What was the big competition wejust had?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
The Euros the Euros England, were in the final.
I actually went and watched thefinal.
Can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I actually did watch that as well did you yeah, but I
don't feel like I can talkabout this in a fun setting with
the facts.
I was about to spit with theserams, I was about to cut bomb
did you not enjoy.
It no right.
First of all I want to say thatI disagree with football so
much I With where the money goes, with the sponsorships, the
endorsements, all of it.
(24:58):
I also completely more thanjust the sport itself, because I
really appreciate that thesport doesn't hold all the
responsibility of this, but whatit does to people and what it
does to domestic violence ishorrific.
Now I read some stats that saidI forgot which charity body it
was.
I will try to find out whichone it was for the next episode.
(25:19):
But they said like if Englandwin a match, domestic violence
goes up X percent, and it was alot.
It was like in the 20 percent.
And if they lose it goes up likedouble.
That, yeah, I can imagine.
I cannot believe that we stillallow a sport that is so
glorified to be thrust into themedia to encourage this sort of
(25:39):
behavior and we're not doingenough about it.
Now I know that somewhere Iwant to say Germany.
Where was the final?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
The final was held.
Was it Italy?
Might have been Italy.
No, no Spain.
Well, wherever it was, held.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
I know that they were trying to do alcohol free,
right, they were trying to banalcohol.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Because the other thing about Brits we love to
drink, that's like a just notjust gays.
All Brits love drinking.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
But I think football in general very drink culture.
And you win, you throw yourdrinks and then you just buy
another one.
You carry on going and youdrink more and more and more and
more and more and then thesedrunk, hyped up partners end up
going home to their otherpartners and just awful things
happen.
So I can never get on boardwith football.
I really can't.
(26:20):
I respect as a sport.
I certainly couldn't do it.
I can't even run for the bus,let alone huff her down a
football pitch, but I couldnever stand by football.
Sure, however, just going toflip it on its head ever so
slightly and say that Men in thefootball kit.
Oh, my Christ Love it.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
If I were to have a fetish, it would be a man in a
football kit.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I was wearing my football kit earlier on.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
That's a lie.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I wasn't wearing a football kit, but they looked
football-esque.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
They were the most bottom-of-bottom shorts I've
ever seen in my life, and Benjiis embracing his bottom era.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Okay, I'm not a bottom, I'm not a Benji's middle
era, but was I wearing them,bending forward and Twerking you
?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
were like do I look like a bottom like this?
And you twerked in your kitchenin your football shorts.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And I saw you looking and I said I'm going to wear
them out tonight and you're likeyeah, do it.
I was like, oh, I know what shewants Anyway.
So I know that's quite ajuxtaposition.
I'm not making light of thefacts.
I just spit out at all, but yes, obviously as a single gay man
watching these very athletic,sexy, well-groomed men.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I think it's the long socks.
I like the long socks on theguys.
It's the shorts, the shorts andthe bums.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
They've got good bums , such good bums, and then they
like fight and push each otherover and they cry and I want to
go cradle them Shh shh shh shhshh, shh, shh, shh, shh shh shh
shh Bam bam, bam.
Yeah, so Trash.
How do we ever cost a livingcrisis when people spend
(27:48):
thousands on football ticketsand then alcohol and it's too
much, too much.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Okay, final one of Brit or Queer, let's go.
I feel like I know the answerto this, but I'm going to ask
anyway.
The X Factor.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh, is that still going?
I don't.
A key moment, especially for us, us millennials.
We grew up with this sorry, whoare you?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
do you remember that?
Yes, with Danny McNally, oh mygoodness.
Yes, with Danny McNally.
With Natalie Imbruglia yes, yesthe singing was not great girls
.
Who are you sorry?
Who are you now?
What the X Factor gave us waslots of cultural iconic moments.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, a lot of drag queens use them to this day,
yeah, in their cutaways.
Yeah, do you remember the onebetween?
Was it Ronan Keating?
And who was the other judgeTalisa?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
oh, gary Barlow, and he was like, oh my god, the
faggash breath.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, I can smell your faggash breath yeah, yeah,
yeah and then she tried toalcoholic yeah I was really here
for the job loved it, you dothe same thing over and over
again with him.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
It's not working so, lisa, I don't know what's
offended me more what you'vesaid or the faggish breath.
And also remember when the twofriends like started fighting
and sheryl was like oh my god,she just got hit in the face.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the same one that said
sorry, who are you?
That's why she punched her.
Oh, my goodness, actually, yes,I'm so here for it.
So, brit, I'm gonna say Brit,although I know it's all over
the world, but I'm gonna sayBrit, I think it's done, it's
time.
Oh yeah, I think it's timewe've had enough like you and
the perm.
It's been done.
We've all seen it.
There's nothing else we can getfrom it.
(29:21):
It's time to move on.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Yeah, yeah but as the in the in the time period that
we grew up, brit right so, brit,I remember my social calendar
was saturday night.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
We're going to watch x factor, get pizzas in with my
girlfriend and my best man wowhow long are we going back in
time and my best mates, one ofwhich, so my best mate, and then
his girlfriend at the time.
She's now married to somebodyelse and he is also now gay love
that she actually listens tothe podcast.
Oh wow, it's a out to you,darling, if you're listening at
home, which is a nice fullcircle moment.
(29:50):
But yeah, we used to watch XFactor every weekend.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
One of my favourite moments before we wrap up this
segment.
Do you remember when AlexandraBurke was in the final and they
get to sing crying?
And she's like, oh, my goodness, can't believe I'm going about
to say this.
Please welcome to the stage myidol beyonce.
And then beyonce walks on oh,oh yes literal goosebumps.
(30:13):
Think about that moment rightnow I actually had completely
forgotten that and then they'resinging.
Listen from dream girls.
Beyonce is like riffins andbelting.
And alexandra burke, she's justlooking at her, she's crying,
she's like I can't believe I'msinging with beyonce, beyon.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Beyonce just doesn't do that stuff anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
She's too big for that now.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
B, I love you, but why are you not coming down a
bit more to our level?
Come on, why are you not comingto the podcast?
Off your Swarovski horse.
Come on the podcast.
Babes, Make your nice coffee.
That is good.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
TV A moment.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Just one more thing before we wrap up.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I know we're in the X Factor, like cultural moments,
I know, although it's not aboutX.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Factor.
It's about an American TV showwhere they it's basically
karaoke and they sing and thenquite often they bring a star to
come out who they start theirown song and then the other
people have to like pick up thekaraoke right, yeah, yeah.
I forgot what it's called.
I'll find out.
Please welcome Beyonce and theback of the stage.
(31:07):
The whole, like wall goes upyeah into an alleyway, which is
obviously where the set isdropped off, and there's like a
car.
Beyonce gets out the car walksonto the stage, gives you like
bam, bam, yack, yack, yack.
No one can see me at home.
I'm absolutely in my Beyoncefantasy finishes singing,
doesn't even wait for the othersto carry on.
Puts the light down turnsaround, gets back in the car,
drives off the wall, comes downand afterwards they were like is
(31:30):
she coming back?
And they were like no, that wasit.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Iconic, amazing.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Imagine.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
That is cunt.
I don't know if we can say that, but we've said it.
To go, britt.
Great.
Well, thank you for playing mylittle game thank you, britt or
Brat.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
No, what was?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
it Britt or Twit Britt or Tit Twit.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Twit well, your money is a Twit.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Okay, we're moving on .
Speaker 1 (31:55):
We're moving on anyway.
Come on on with the podcastwell, podcasters.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
It's that time of the week it's time for Queer Diary.
Queer Diary we usedbroadcasters.
It's that time of the week it'stime for queer diary, queer
diary.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
We just get a new jingle, don't we?
Yeah, I feel like I should havehad a job in like making
jingles.
Um, yes, so our queer diaryentry for today is hi boys, I'm
looking to start dating again,but I have a really high sex
drive, which is actually thereason my last relationship
ended.
How can I start dating againwithout having sex as often?
(32:29):
Or I think it must mean likewhen they're starting to date
someone, to begin with maybethey don't want to have sex
straight away, but then theycan't be committed to that
person because they'll besleeping around or that maybe
what they find is they want tohave sex every day and generally
most people don't want thatevery day maybe I have no idea.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, I don't know how, whatthe norm is yeah, what is the
(32:50):
norm?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
is there a norm?
I think there is, is there?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I don't know there is .
I definitely don't every day.
I'm sure the people there arepeople that do as in, you don't
want sex every day I mean wantand have, I guess are very
different things I definitelydon't have do you have a high
sex drive, really high yeah, I,I have ways of controlling it.
Like I don't feel, I don'tthink this will be a problem for
me right necessarily um, but Idon't know what you would do in
(33:14):
this situation.
If you're finding it thatdifficult to then not be able to
date.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I don't know, that's a funny one so I actually have a
friend of mine same situationmet this guy.
Everything about it was tick,tick, tick.
They dated for quite some time,about a year, and they had to
break it off because he was likewe're just not sexually on the
same page.
Like my friend wanted sex allthe time, like most days, and
this guy was like I justphysically cannot give you that.
Like it's just I don't havethat same urge and it's a bit of
(33:41):
a sad breakup because they'reboth really into each other and
they didn't want to go openeither.
So it's really hard when youwant to date someone, you want
to find someone that's on thesame page as you, with lots of
things right Humour, sexuallypersonality, maybe shared
hobbies and interests.
It's very hard to find that oneperson and this does come up
(34:01):
you know the whole sex drivething.
I think you know everyone'sslightly different.
I don't know what the answer is.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I don't know what the answer is.
I don't know what the answer is.
I mean, I have been in likedating people and I think I've
been on both sides actually,where maybe I've wanted more and
they've been like I'm just notin the mood and vice versa, but
I don't know if it should besomething that then stops a
relationship.
I guess with your friendsthat's maybe a different
circumstance if they've beengoing on for however long like
up to a year.
Yeah, and it's still an issue,then yes, I don't think that's
going to be one that's going tobe resolved.
Yeah, I think early on, I thinktry not to really overthink it.
(34:32):
Just enjoy spending time withthat person.
You're not committed to them.
So, actually, if you are goingon dates with them but you are,
if you haven't had thediscussion of like oh, we're
just seeing each other orwhatever, then don't worry.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
If you are like still on other apps and you know,
playing around, and obviouslythat comes part of the package
right when you start seeingsomeone.
If it's going well, youprobably will end up having sex
at some point and exploring yoursexual relationship together,
and I guess that's where you canfigure out if you're compatible
in that way very true and Ithink maybe explore other ways
to fulfill your needs.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Let's say yes, then it involving somebody else, I
think could be a good way toit's a very interesting topic.
I don't know if anyone has anyexperience in this or has it
come up in their relationshipand how they overcome it.
Like you said, with openrelationships anyone that
doesn't know what that is it'ssort of when you're committed to
each other but you allow eachother to go and sleep with a
third party, somebody else, butnot together.
(35:23):
Yeah, interesting one.
I don't know what other advicewe need to give on that one.
If anyone listening has anyadvice for them, please write in
and we will share it.
On next week's episodeabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
We always love to hear from you.
Goodness me, what an episodewe've had this week.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I know quite the factual all the facts, all the
facts, all the facts get them.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle.
Football royalty.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Facts honey, cultural historical lifestyle football
royalty, all of it, everything,all of it.
I'll take the lot butpodcasters, that is all we have
time from this week's episode ofmy big gay podcast.
If you have enjoyed it, pleasehead over to my Instagram or our
TikTok and give us a follow.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
It is at big gay podcast and, of course, slip
into the DM so that we can getyour messages, messages.
We want to hear your queerdiaries, any fun stories, facts,
advice, tips, whatever, we'lltake the lot whatever it is,
it's right and we'd love to hearfrom you.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
But, like I said, that is all we have time for in
this week's episode.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Until next time, see you next wednesday, we was in
sync then were we yeah, I feltlike we hit the same pitch.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
That's very rare very rare, since you singing sounds
like a bag of cats being likeright and I fully agree with you
on that one.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Have you heard me do karaoke once?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
don't make me sing you broke the microphone, so
there was no singing for anybodyafter you I've just seen that
meme of celine dion where she'slike I will sing yeah that's me.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I will sing again that's me at karaoke, when you
take the mic away from me yeah,and you get out your own
microphone, I will sing, oh I'llsing again I'll sing again.
I'll sing again.
That's for sure, thank you.
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