October 17, 2025 • 38 mins
What if your feelings didn’t get the final say on your choices—especially when life is in flux? We open up about seasons of upheaval: a child leaving for college, grieving a parent, cancer scares, and the low hum of uncertainty that follows big change. Rather than force emotions to match the moment, we explore how intentionality helps you act from conviction, not reflex, and how a Christian identity rooted in “beloved child of God” steadies you when roles and routines shift.
We map this through the story of Israel in the desert: the cloud that rests, the fire that moves, and the training of a people who learn to trust timing as much as direction. We talk about open‑ended planning, why anxiety spikes when we over‑predict, and how clinging to job titles or achievements makes transitions feel like identity loss. Then we get practical: slow, communal prayer as a way to breathe with Scripture; letting duty carry you when desire feels thin; and building habits that keep you present to God and others without numbing out or grasping for control.
The heart of the conversation is simple and demanding: hold your plans lightly and your identity tightly. Stand a half‑step outside your emotions, name them, and choose the next right action aligned with faith, reason, and love. Whether you’re waiting in place or stepping into the unknown, there’s a way to live with clarity and courage. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s navigating change, and leave a review to help others find the show. What transition are you walking through right now?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Welcome to the My Friend the Friar podcast, and
thanks for listening.
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of new episodes when theyrelease.
Thanks again and God bless.
(00:26):
Good morning, John.
Good morning, Father.
Oh my goodness.
Um I feel like our internet hasgotten better over the years.
Or well, because you're inDallas now, maybe that's what it
is.
SPEAKER_00 (00:37):
Yeah.
Back from the castle.
I don't have to dis depend onthe rats in the little circle
thing to keep it up.
The gerbils in the wheel.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Yeah.
I don't know what the cats aredoing.
They're playing the closet.
My nose is is fine.
Um the scar from the operation?
Skin graft thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It will um supposedly itlightens over time.
So I have to but I tan likereally easy.
So I I got like a nice floppyhat to keep the sun off my face
whenever Betty and I go forwalks and stuff.
(01:11):
Um but I I think I need to putsunscreen on there too, because
I just I just tan.
It's the um, as my dad wouldhave said, it's like the the
redneck in us from Oklahoma, andjust farm boys kind of in our
blood, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
So um especially since it was since it was skin
cancer, yeah.
I would put I would put sunblockon your nose for sure.
Yeah, so it's uh but it's doinggood.
SPEAKER_01 (01:39):
Um it feels real real nice.
Um like there's a little bit ofof like raisedness to it, but
not like the the doctor saidthat it should smooth out over
time.
And where they took the graftfrom um same thing, kind of like
the little bit of raisedness,like I guess when you get
(02:00):
stitches, right?
You'll kind of bumps to that sothat'll heal over time too, or
reduce over time.
So what they said, but I stilldon't know what the cats are
doing.
They're playing because one isin the closet, and the other
one's waiting waiting for theother one to come out to pounce
on it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
I can, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
I don't even know what's going on.
Okay.
Um so much for our intro.
Welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for joining me and myfriend the friar, father Stephen
Sanchez, a discalced cormelitepriest.
Good morning, father.
Again.
Um, yeah.
My second cup of coffee is abouttwo hours old, I think, at this
(02:43):
point.
And it's like half drank.
It makes me heart drunk.
I don't know.
It makes my heart hurt a littlebit.
Either that or I've had too muchcoffee, and that's why my heart
hurts.
I don't know.
But um it's been a morning sofar.
(03:04):
I don't know.
Okay, um, I've got a questionfor you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just want to see where thisgoes.
We were talking yesterday,yesterday, about intentionality.
Um so like do you ever you're alittle bit older than me, um,
and you've had a couple ofdecades, yeah.
(03:27):
Yeah.
You've had a pretty dramaticallydifferent kind of adulthood than
I have for the most part, beinga priest, uh being a
contemplative, like a religiouspriest too.
So anyway, so like do you everin the past or like even now,
like do you ever have thefeeling or do you ever feel like
you don't understand how you'refeeling in a moment?
(03:48):
Like you're ever sitting thereand you're like, what the heck
is going on?
Like, how how am I doing?
Not like physically, but likementally, emotionally,
spiritually, like, how am I?
And I don't I don't know how I'mfeeling.
Um like I don't know, like I inmy mind I kind of connect it.
(04:13):
Like, I kind of connect thethread of how I'm feeling to
like what am I doing?
You know what I mean?
Um so like I end up in thissituation where like I question
if I have any intention at allor if I'm kind of just going
through the motions.
And so I've been kind ofthinking about this stuff
(04:34):
lately, and I'm like, there'sthere's obviously there's always
contributing factors, right?
I'm thinking my age, right?
Um just having cancer kind ofthing, diagnosis, uh, my
daughter getting ready to go tocollege, mom passing away,
right?
Um stress, like sleep, likethere's all these things that
(04:55):
can kind of contribute to thesekinds of things um or these
feelings.
And so I don't know.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Like, do you ever you ever haveoh now the cat's exploded again?
So I don't know if you can hearthem in the background, but the
one of them finally came out ofthe closet, the one's attacking.
Anyway, um do you ever havethose feelings where you're just
(05:17):
like, what am I doing?
Or or or you don't you can'tpinpoint how you're not
necessarily how what you'redoing, but like how you're
doing.
SPEAKER_00 (05:26):
Right.
I think probably has to do morewith for you, I think in in your
particular situation, it has todo with transition.
And transition transition isalways difficult because a lot
of our um points of stabilityhave shifted or changed, or
something has happened to tomove those points of stability
(05:49):
and kind of like okay, trying tore find um your center, trying
to regain your center.
Uh I think for myself, I mean,there's times when I find myself
in situations of transition, umtrying to parse out exactly what
it is that you're experiencing,what you're feeling, right?
(06:13):
And trying to separate feelingfrom okay, this is my feeling,
this is my experience uh fromthis, you know, X factor,
whatever the variable is, right,um, that has led to transition,
change, or shift.
And then to say, okay, so how doI how do I approach this?
(06:37):
How do I embrace this?
And talking aboutintentionality, what what is
what is my attitude or my stancetowards this, right?
Uh you know, go ahead.
Oh, go ahead, finish.
Sorry.
No, you're go ahead.
No, you go.
No, after you.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
Oh no, you first, you hang up.
Um, so I was yeah, what you'resaying, it was it was kind of
resonating with me because it'slike I don't need to our
feelings are what they are,right?
Right.
Um, it's it's how I'mexperiencing that moment.
It's not necessarily reality,right?
Like I don't like I'm makingsomething up, I don't like
(07:14):
broccoli.
That doesn't mean broccoli isnot good for me, right?
It's just how I feel in thatmoment.
But it's important to like payattention to them.
But then my intention, mypurpose.
So I think purpose and intentionare kind of linked too, right?
So it's like use really simpleexamples.
If I'm hungry, I eat.
So it's like, what is thepurpose of the thing?
(07:34):
Well, is tied to the intention.
I'm trying to satisfy hunger, orI gotta go to the bathroom, you
go to the bathroom, right?
There's so there's a purpose ofwhat you're doing and an
intention that's driving yourbehavior.
And those things don't have tobe linked to how you feel,
right?
Like I don't have to like or Idon't have to feel good when I
pray.
I don't have to feel good if Igo to the gym.
(07:55):
I don't have to feel good,whatever, right?
I understand it happens, right?
And that that's probably toclose some kind of feedback loop
in your mind.
It's probably how people makegood and bad habits, right?
Like I had this this intention,my purpose was or my purpose and
my intention, that thing getsfulfilled, that's satisfying or
it feels good, and now I want todo it again, right?
(08:18):
So, but but it doesn't have tobe, right?
I don't have to my feelingsdon't have to necessarily match
the moment.
SPEAKER_00 (08:28):
No, and I think that's where I think maturity
comes in to be able to parse outmy emotion, my feeling, versus
you know, uh not allowing thatto muddy or cloud up my
reasoning, trying to reason itthrough, trying to figure out
(08:50):
what's going on, trying to parsethings out.
And I think it's very important,and this is part of the whole
contemplative process as well,is to be able to stand back from
yourself, that there be somesort of uh objectivity
concerning the self, to be ableto observe ourselves.
Yeah, that's what makes ushuman, is we're we know that we
(09:11):
know, and so we're capable ofactually examining ourselves and
um questioning our motives andstuff, whereas you know other
animals don't do that, they'rejust they're instinctual.
Um, cats that are murdering eachother.
So it's it's it's sort of likebut it takes it takes an
(09:35):
ability, it takes the ability tobe able to stand apart from
yourself.
And so if you don't practicethat, if you're not capable of
doing that, if you're notcapable of standing outside of
yourself and being objectiveabout yourself, then what
happens is you allow youremotions and your feelings to
dictate your behavior anddecisions, and thereby you
(09:56):
really never have anintentionality because you're
only going by instinct and byyou know you're being reactive.
And when we talk aboutintentionality, intentionality
is like there is a particularway I want to live, a particular
path I want to go down, andregardless of the difficulties,
this is what I feel is best forme or contributes to um a
(10:22):
growing humaneness or humanness,right?
A greater integrity of self andperson.
So all those things are allthose different variables that
have to do with how we makethose decisions and how we how
we enter into transition.
Some people transition very,very, very badly.
It it's it's very um, it reallyshakes their core and they have
(10:48):
a really difficult time andanxiety of dealing with
transition.
Other people are much you knowon the opposite side, be like,
it's just like, yeah, okay,whatever.
I'll just you know adjust.
But um, it depends again on yourperson and how you see things
and perceive things.
SPEAKER_01 (11:05):
So that's really interesting to me too, because
um I can see the transition,like I said, my age, daughter
going to college, mom dying, andstuff like that, right?
So there it is a pretty bigtransitional moment.
Like for let's just take Sophiagoing to college, right?
Um the a child is I think verynaturally the focal point of a
(11:28):
family, right?
The parents come together,everything's about the kid, now
the kid's gone, and it's like,what are we coming together for?
You know what I mean?
Like there's this thing ismissing, so there's a big
transition.
Um, so like a lot of that isresonating with me.
I also kind of wonder as you asyou're talking, like um, and
(11:49):
yeah, transition can be jarring.
What about like a lack oftransition?
I I think a lot of times aboutExodus when um they're wandering
through the desert and there'sthe pillar of fire that tells
them wait, do they they followthe cloud, and whenever the
pillar of fire comes down,that's where they stop and wait,
(12:11):
right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:13):
It's a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of
cloud by day, and the pillarwhen the pillar raises or pulls
up back up into heaven orwherever it is, then that's when
they know to move and when itisn't settled, when it's not
settled, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
So that's yeah.
And so, yeah, so in that though,what I've noticed is like the
Bible, it doesn't say how longthey had to wait.
Right.
And so it's like you get thereand they're like, okay, and I
mean they were out there for 40years.
I I think I Google mapped itonce.
It's it's like a two-week walkfrom Egypt to Israel or
something like that.
So they were really out therefor a while.
(12:49):
But the whole point of it issometimes you don't transition,
like you wait, and that's reallyuncomfortable too.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
All right, and even okay, it's interesting that you
bring this up becausetransitioning, okay.
Let's take let's take the storyof of Israel.
As Israel transitions out ofslavery into freedom, they had a
hard time.
Yeah, had a really hard time.
And so I'm always I'm always Ilaugh at myself or I laugh to
(13:22):
myself when I read it becauseyou know, like they leave,
right, and leave with gold andsilver, and they leave with all
the cattle, they leave with allthe livestock, right?
And then they're out in thedesert, and then they tell God,
you know, like feed us.
Like, and I and I'm going like,dude, you have herds, you have
(13:44):
your livestock, use that, right?
But it has to do more with umthe difficulty of transition and
being dependent and learning howto grow into the freedom and the
responsibility andaccountability that freedom
brings.
And that's kind of the purposeof that sacred history, right?
(14:08):
That whole uh development ofIsrael.
And then again, when they get towhen they're in the desert,
again, the transitioning ofokay, uh, they go all the way to
the promised land, and then theydon't want to go in.
They're big, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:28):
So, okay, so you don't want to fight for your
freedom.
Yeah, it's not like okay, comehere, it's it's wrapped in a
bow.
Like, no, you have to fight foryour freedom.
That's how you appreciate yourfreedom, is when you fight for
it.
And so then they have to go tothe then their punishment is to
be in the desert, right?
So again, those are moments oftransition and the inability to
(14:52):
trust that there uh is somethingin the transition that might be
good for me, that might be uh amoment of growth, a moment of
virtue, a moment of developmentfor me as a person or as a
people or as a nation, right?
And I think it goes back to thewhole idea of an intentionality
(15:14):
and how do how do we transition?
Do we transition well?
What are the difficulties?
It goes back, this goes back tothis you know being objective
about the self.
How do I react to transition?
How do we as a community, as afamily, uh face uh transition?
(15:37):
Is there denial?
Is there rejection?
Is there blindness?
Is there uh the refusal to seethe need for transition, the
need for change?
Right?
And so a lot of it has to doagain, going back to do I
understand that um change forthe sake of change is not
necessarily healthy, but changeis something that is part of
(16:01):
life, it is uh it's part of theorganic existence.
There's always going to bechange, always, because that's
what life is, it's a continualdevelopment.
And for us as mortals, there'suh a development and a decline.
And can I see that?
Can I accept that?
Can I deal with that in a waythat is objective and
(16:23):
understanding, uh, using that asa as a as a means to growing my
own wholeness and and um abilityto see the greater picture,
right?
The greater, the greater design.
SPEAKER_01 (16:37):
Do you think you need to do you think you need to
be able to see where you'retransitioning to?
Like the Israelites, Moses said,I'm taking you to the promised
land, right?
So they know where they'regoing, and now their growth is
in the transition to wherethey're supposed to be going,
right?
And this is similar.
Um, you know, I heard somebodypreach once about like this is
(16:58):
similar to the transition from astate of slavery to sin to true
freedom, right?
Like I know where I'm going, nowI have to trust in the process
to transition there.
So if I don't know where I'mgoing, though, is that part of
the whole waiting?
That's the being comfortablewith waiting.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, that's the discomfort, right?
So if we're transitioning tosomething new, because it's new,
we don't know what it is.
We have no idea.
And we spend a lot of time,energy, uh, psychological,
spiritual, emotional energy,trying to come up with all the
different ideas of what it couldpossibly be, instead of just
(17:41):
saying, okay, let's, you know,let's follow the Holy Spirit in
this adventure and allow theadventure to unfold and deal
with it as it unfolds, right?
Instead of trying to anticipate,a lot of the anxiety is trying
to anticipate what it might be,right?
And chances are um it's notgonna be what we think it is.
(18:04):
And that's where the difficultycomes, right?
SPEAKER_01 (18:06):
Do you think a lot of people artificially start
defining things to try to makethemselves comfortable?
Like again, I'm just makingsomething up.
My daughter goes to college, sonow I'm gonna take up oil
painting or something, right?
Like I'm gonna pursue my hobbiesor something like that.
And now I have a purpose becauseI've forced this purpose into my
(18:27):
moment.
SPEAKER_00 (18:27):
Right.
Yeah, and sometimes it's becausethis goes to sort of the
instinctual, you know, we'rehardwired for survival, and the
unknown is always threatening.
And so we always somehow projectsome type of knowledge of what
the future is going to be likeor some plan I make.
And again, it's okay to makeplans.
I'm not saying you should neverplan.
(18:48):
But what happens is, you know,and this is what I always tell
people that I direct like, makesure that your plan is always
open-ended, right?
It may this is a plan that youhave, but it may not, it may not
be that.
Maybe that's not how it'ssupposed to be.
And so, you know, don'tnecessarily be definitive in
what you expect to happen.
It's like, okay, this is what,this is only a plan.
(19:11):
This is one of the possibilitiesthat I have in mind.
And so I think transitioningfor, I think, as we get older,
transitioning into what life issupposed to be or what we I
think a lot of it has to do withreconciling what we thought life
would be when we were younger,and then finding out that it's
(19:32):
not exactly what I've perceivedit to be or what I thought it
would be, and it's somethingelse.
Uh and sometimes there'sdifficulty in that.
And the intentionality, goingback to the intentionality, the
intentionality is not that Iintend to make all of my plans
come true.
The intentionality is am Icapable of allowing myself to
(19:57):
grow in an organic way, in a waythat is life-giving and
fulfilling and helps me to be agreater person in all of the
wholeness of what that means.
And not necessarily just aboutuh making sure that all the
tasks are completed, right?
That you know, so uh marrying adoctor or marrying a whatever or
(20:23):
having you know 12 kids or youknow white picket fence and all
that.
White picket fence, yeah,exactly.
All that, right?
And so sometimes again, we weset ourselves up, we set
ourselves up for for failure byby trying to insist on those
things.
Who was it like?
I think it was Mark Twain uh whosaid that um was it something
(20:48):
like all the most of theterrible things that happened in
my life have never happened, orsomething like that.
The key it was something that hewould fears, you know, he was
talking about the fears that hehad.
And Mark Twain said somethingabout like, you know, most of
the terrible things thathappened in my life never
happened because it was just inmy head, right?
So and sometimes that's whathappens.
We we we uh depending on ourpersonality or psychology or
(21:15):
personality, right?
How we think, right?
We can be catastrophic in ourthinking or we can be
polyana-ish in our thinking, andneither of those things are are
real, and so it's a matter ofadjusting, yeah, to what is
unfolding in our lives.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Yeah, I just I just looked it up.
He said the quote is I've livedthrough some terrible things in
my life, some of which actuallyhappened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So is there um is there maybesome kind of is there something
(21:55):
about our identities, our as asChristians, like our knowledge
of of who and what we are ashumans and as as Christians that
is helpful in the process ofwaiting and being open to
(22:16):
finding that purpose and thenliving with that intention and
being comfortable through thetransition, right?
Like it's I don't know.
I know a lot of people like theykind of wrap their lives up in
their occupation, like you'resaying, I'm a doctor.
So like their whole identity,yes, identity is wrapped up in
(22:37):
that they're a doctor, right?
And then that somehow drivespurpose and or like football
players or something like that.
And then when they retire,they've now lost their identity,
and so they don't know how totransition or whatever, right?
I'm a sort of thing.
Yeah, so is there somethingabout our like deeper, or at
least on a spiritual um kind ofreality of who and what we are
(23:00):
that is helpful for thesemoments of tension in our lives?
SPEAKER_00 (23:06):
Yeah, and I think it has to do a lot with going back
to objectivity and maturity,right?
Maturity, developmental maturityin terms of human formation,
human maturity, andpsychological and spiritual
maturity.
One of the things that I thinkis um a beautiful meditation or
(23:26):
a beautiful uh theme to reflecton is this whole idea that uh
the the Second Vatican Councilfathers brought back or tried to
re renew in the church and theidea of it being a pilgrim
church.
That this is a journey.
(23:47):
And so this is not the finalresting place.
And so I think that helps a lotwhen you're like, okay, I am I
am in a moment, I am intransition.
My whole life is transition.
I from baptism till till deathtill I transition into my
eternal life and the fullness oflife when the Lord comes.
(24:08):
Um and I think it's sometimes weforget those images that we have
and we we take them for granted,and we don't really enter into
the greatness of that design orthe greatness of that um vision
(24:28):
of the church, right?
That we are in a in we are apilgrim church.
We are we are moving throughspace and time, and we as a
church are growing organicallyand developing until we reach uh
the full stature of maturity inChrist, whatever that may be
like.
And I think the human uh fear ofchange, of instability,
(24:52):
sometimes enslaves us to seekconsolation and finding
stability and other things thatare not stable.
For example, again, work,pleasure, whatever it might be,
right?
I I was just thinking of this.
Um was that there was a movie, Ithink it was in the 90s, it was
(25:14):
about the excess, really theexcess of the 90s.
Um was it American Psycho?
SPEAKER_01 (25:22):
Yeah, I've never actually seen that all the way
through.
I know I know the movie, you'veseen clips of stuff.
I've never seen the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
It's there's some very racy sexual uh content in
it.
So yeah, be careful about that.
Yeah, but it's the 90s, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, it's and it's reallybasically about it's a uh film
that speaks of the excess of the90s, but how the excess of the
(25:49):
90s was really a mask for theemptiness of the person, right?
That they they made everythingabout um what is the the what is
the hottest restaurant to go tothat has the waiting list that
only the right people get in?
And and it's interesting, one ofthe things that that is uh I
(26:12):
found hilarious, they're allthese uh it's all about hype,
right?
And so they all have thesebusiness cards, right?
And they're all showing theirbusiness cards and they're
talking about the print and thepaper and all this other stuff.
And so the the the jealousy andthe envy and the hate that they
feel for each other because ofthe business card, or perceiving
(26:35):
their business card is betterthan somebody else's business
card, right?
And it goes back to the wholeidea of this is where I'm trying
to find stability.
I'm trying to find uh a way tobe better or to feel that I have
conquered or that I have reachedwhatever the the my goal and to
see that it's uh easily uhdisrupted, right?
(26:59):
And it's um yeah, it's not it'snot a movie that I would
recommend.
Recommend uh again, becauseagain, there's some very
sexually explicit scenes inthere, right?
And so like but if you step backfrom it uh and you really see it
as uh what it is, it's uh it's ait's a critique, it's a satire
of the consumerist materialistuh values of uh the culture of
(27:24):
the United States that we livein.
And and and part of the uh ittoo is that uh the main
character gets confused withsomebody else.
In other words, they don'treally see each other.
The fact that they confuse himfor somebody else that is in the
corporation as well, speaks ofthat they're not really even
present to each other.
(27:44):
They really don't know eachother, recognize each other, and
this whole idea that he can beeasily confused with somebody
else is also part of like, okay,so yeah, this is all the
shallowness of it, right?
Uh how trying to find an anchorin something that is temporal
and passing is is foolish.
So another movie rant, so nevermind, sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
Hey, this one wasn't sci-fi though, so okay, true.
That's a maybe a is that a firstfor us?
Maybe maybe um yeah, so it'slike my purpose.
Like I've defined my purpose togo be, I don't know, successful,
business successful or somethinglike that.
Right.
So now my intention, I live mylife to uh toward this end of
(28:33):
becoming business successful,but all of it's just empty.
SPEAKER_00 (28:38):
Right.
For example, you know, when whena lot of these young persons uh
their whole entire focus andtheir identity is to become a
professional sports person,right?
And they give it and give it andgive it, and all of a sudden
something happens that blow outyour knee or something.
You blow out your knee or yourelbow or whatever, and all of a
(28:59):
sudden everything, everythingthat you had pinned your hopes
and dreams and future on is notgone.
And so, yeah, that is a verydifficult transition to make,
right?
Because everything, I waspinning everything, my identity
on this particular thing.
And I think it goes back to thequestion of intentionality.
(29:22):
So, what is my intentionality?
Is my intentionality focused ondefining myself by something
that I accomplish?
Or is my intentionality focusedupon the development of myself
as a human person in thedevelopment of my emotional,
psychological, spiritual,intellectual abilities to be
able to be fully the humanperson that God desires me to be
(29:45):
or asks me to be?
SPEAKER_01 (29:47):
Yeah, then that's interesting too, because that
makes me think Jesus says,paraphrasing, um if you hear my
words and I don't know.
and and do the things you'relike a wise man who who built
his foundation on bedrock rightso there's there's something
(30:09):
there to the the transitions andlife and the uncertainties the
storms that don't wash thingsaway because you're grounded on
something bigger so you have andthat's that's also very godlike
I uh or godish I want to saylike it's his it it's his
(30:30):
personality trait um I'm gonnagive you this wonderful thing
right you're my son you're mydaughter I love you you are
everything to me but then youhave complete and total freedom
to do whatever you want in lifewith and I won't give you any
direction and you can go figureit out on your but if you can
remember that you're my son andmy daughter or my daughter and I
(30:51):
love you and you're everythingto me then you're gonna be okay
no matter what as long as youkeep coming back to that.
Right to that that defining umtruth right because that is what
defines us if we remember andkeep to that that we are God's
children right that should bethe primary identity that that
(31:12):
rules in our life yeah so it'slike okay your your kid is gone
uh your friends and familymember you're getting older in
life people are passing awaywhatever people get sick people
get hurt whatever you lose yourjob whatever right how you what
you do with all of that I guessas long as you come back to am I
(31:37):
am I navigating this in theunderstanding of who I am and
and I guess that's kind of youwere you were saying something
similar to that back at thebeginning um then ultimately I
guess I it it really it's kindof funny and I'm I'm sure it's
(31:58):
frustrating to people too itdoesn't matter what you do as
long as right like there'sobviously there's always a
little caveat like well I'mgonna go become the next I don't
know axe murderer or somethinglike that.
No like it kind of matters whatyou're doing um because you
can't do that like because Jesusthere's consequences to that
(32:18):
yeah yeah but I don't know itjust it's just so interesting
and I I and I think you know Iwas thinking about y'all and and
the intentionality that you alltake uh bring to your prayers
like when you do Vespers beforemass um it's slow on purpose
right it is you take your timeand what like what's tell me
(32:44):
about that like why do youwhat's the intention behind
taking your time with it?
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
With the reciting of the Psalms well part of it is
that okay it's scripture one twois that um the Holy Spirit still
lives in the scripture it is theliving spirit scripture is
(33:13):
living for us still and it isGod's truth and for us taking
our time as we recite the Psalmsyou before uh before mass we
have uh Lods and so we talkabout our Lods yeah sorry sorry
Absoluting Vespers yeah we takeour time we we recite a line we
take a breath we recite the nextline we take a breath because
basically you're either likeokay I'm allowing the spirit to
(33:38):
basically the community breathestogether and and pauses together
and it takes on a life of itsown yeah as the community is is
praying uh the psalms and it's amatter of being open to the
spirit being allowing the spiritto speak to us allowing the word
(33:59):
to kind of um dwell on the wordfor a moment and go to the next
and just basically entering intothe psalm prayer itself it's
it's a matter of praying thepsalm not just reciting the
psalm and for us it's a matterof taking again it's not like
long long but you know for somepeople that are coming go like
(34:20):
dang y'all take your time likewell no actually no this is just
normal for us you know uh and Isaid either we're slow or y'all
are fast whichever way you wantto look at it so uh yeah the
intentionality is to be presentto the word as you pray the word
of the Psalms and when you wereum young or even recently have
(34:43):
you ever found yourself whereit's I mean I'm sure it's the
same thing for people who go tothe gym regularly if they're
like I don't really want to behere right I I have other things
on my mind.
SPEAKER_01 (34:52):
So how do you kind of set that aside back to the
intentionality of I just want tobe present with God because I
know that the things that I'msetting aside when I come back
to those, they'll be betterbecause I was diligent or
disciplined in this.
SPEAKER_00 (35:09):
Right.
And I think that goes back tothat helps in the learning to be
objective about the self, right?
I have to put this aside becauseit's time to go pray.
It's you know and sometimesagain or we have you know we
have a very bad night and wedon't sleep well or we get up
and we're more exhausted thanwhen we went to bed and like
(35:32):
like you know five more minutesmom like well no you have to get
up you have to get ready prepareyourself prepare yourself for
you know prayer and mass andstuff and you basically just you
know force yourself andsometimes it's hard to enter
into it um you know bright eyedand bushy tailed but that
(35:55):
doesn't really have to do withthe intentionality the
intentionality is I have to beresponsible I have to be present
this is what I have committedmyself to and so this is what I
need this is again sometimes itis duty bound but sometimes it's
it's more than just being dutybound.
Sometimes the duty bound or theduty of it helps you get through
(36:16):
those difficult those difficultmornings or afternoons or
evenings.
And a lot of times it's justlike once you start you know you
remember why you're there andyou're glad you're there and
you're happy you're there andyou just enter into it.
And sometimes you know sometimeseven the prayer is still dry and
difficult but you're there andyou go okay here Lord you know
this is all I have to give youand so you my poverty is all I
(36:40):
have to give so this is what Igive you.
SPEAKER_01 (36:42):
And so again the intention is to be there and to
be present and to to intercedefor the church regardless of
what your personal uh feeling isthat day, that morning that
evening or that night yeah welland it it's almost um the
Christian reality of theChristian understanding of
(37:06):
reality right the the way weunderstand God humanity Jesus
like all that kind of stuff kindof when you when you really
start to grasp it I guess thenit's um like you're saying the
showing up the duty bound it'salmost like a form of justice
like it's just that I'm doingthis because uh look at like
(37:31):
look at reality right look atwho I am or what I am as a human
and what God did for me andstuff like that.
Yeah hmm okay well thanks forthat thanks for helping me just
(37:53):
chew on it a little bit you knowwhat I mean take your one of my
friends Anthony he always saystake your time with it just I
think that's a good phrase yeahthink it through think it
through yeah okay well let'swrap this up I will uh I'll see
(38:13):
you very soon I hope yes and uhwe'll get another episode okay
and everyone who joined usthanks for listening thank you
God bless bye bye
Welcome to the My Friend the Friar podcast, and
thanks for listening.
If you like My Friend the Friarand want to support us, please
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of new episodes when theyrelease.
Thanks again and God bless.
(00:26):
Good morning, John.
Good morning, Father.
Oh my goodness.
Um I feel like our internet hasgotten better over the years.
Or well, because you're inDallas now, maybe that's what it
is.
SPEAKER_00 (00:37):
Yeah.
Back from the castle.
I don't have to dis depend onthe rats in the little circle
thing to keep it up.
The gerbils in the wheel.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Yeah.
I don't know what the cats aredoing.
They're playing the closet.
My nose is is fine.
Um the scar from the operation?
Skin graft thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It will um supposedly itlightens over time.
So I have to but I tan likereally easy.
So I I got like a nice floppyhat to keep the sun off my face
whenever Betty and I go forwalks and stuff.
(01:11):
Um but I I think I need to putsunscreen on there too, because
I just I just tan.
It's the um, as my dad wouldhave said, it's like the the
redneck in us from Oklahoma, andjust farm boys kind of in our
blood, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
So um especially since it was since it was skin
cancer, yeah.
I would put I would put sunblockon your nose for sure.
Yeah, so it's uh but it's doinggood.
SPEAKER_01 (01:39):
Um it feels real real nice.
Um like there's a little bit ofof like raisedness to it, but
not like the the doctor saidthat it should smooth out over
time.
And where they took the graftfrom um same thing, kind of like
the little bit of raisedness,like I guess when you get
(02:00):
stitches, right?
You'll kind of bumps to that sothat'll heal over time too, or
reduce over time.
So what they said, but I stilldon't know what the cats are
doing.
They're playing because one isin the closet, and the other
one's waiting waiting for theother one to come out to pounce
on it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
I can, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
I don't even know what's going on.
Okay.
Um so much for our intro.
Welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for joining me and myfriend the friar, father Stephen
Sanchez, a discalced cormelitepriest.
Good morning, father.
Again.
Um, yeah.
My second cup of coffee is abouttwo hours old, I think, at this
(02:43):
point.
And it's like half drank.
It makes me heart drunk.
I don't know.
It makes my heart hurt a littlebit.
Either that or I've had too muchcoffee, and that's why my heart
hurts.
I don't know.
But um it's been a morning sofar.
(03:04):
I don't know.
Okay, um, I've got a questionfor you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just want to see where thisgoes.
We were talking yesterday,yesterday, about intentionality.
Um so like do you ever you're alittle bit older than me, um,
and you've had a couple ofdecades, yeah.
(03:27):
Yeah.
You've had a pretty dramaticallydifferent kind of adulthood than
I have for the most part, beinga priest, uh being a
contemplative, like a religiouspriest too.
So anyway, so like do you everin the past or like even now,
like do you ever have thefeeling or do you ever feel like
you don't understand how you'refeeling in a moment?
(03:48):
Like you're ever sitting thereand you're like, what the heck
is going on?
Like, how how am I doing?
Not like physically, but likementally, emotionally,
spiritually, like, how am I?
And I don't I don't know how I'mfeeling.
Um like I don't know, like I inmy mind I kind of connect it.
(04:13):
Like, I kind of connect thethread of how I'm feeling to
like what am I doing?
You know what I mean?
Um so like I end up in thissituation where like I question
if I have any intention at allor if I'm kind of just going
through the motions.
And so I've been kind ofthinking about this stuff
(04:34):
lately, and I'm like, there'sthere's obviously there's always
contributing factors, right?
I'm thinking my age, right?
Um just having cancer kind ofthing, diagnosis, uh, my
daughter getting ready to go tocollege, mom passing away,
right?
Um stress, like sleep, likethere's all these things that
(04:55):
can kind of contribute to thesekinds of things um or these
feelings.
And so I don't know.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Like, do you ever you ever haveoh now the cat's exploded again?
So I don't know if you can hearthem in the background, but the
one of them finally came out ofthe closet, the one's attacking.
Anyway, um do you ever havethose feelings where you're just
(05:17):
like, what am I doing?
Or or or you don't you can'tpinpoint how you're not
necessarily how what you'redoing, but like how you're
doing.
SPEAKER_00 (05:26):
Right.
I think probably has to do morewith for you, I think in in your
particular situation, it has todo with transition.
And transition transition isalways difficult because a lot
of our um points of stabilityhave shifted or changed, or
something has happened to tomove those points of stability
(05:49):
and kind of like okay, trying tore find um your center, trying
to regain your center.
Uh I think for myself, I mean,there's times when I find myself
in situations of transition, umtrying to parse out exactly what
it is that you're experiencing,what you're feeling, right?
(06:13):
And trying to separate feelingfrom okay, this is my feeling,
this is my experience uh fromthis, you know, X factor,
whatever the variable is, right,um, that has led to transition,
change, or shift.
And then to say, okay, so how doI how do I approach this?
(06:37):
How do I embrace this?
And talking aboutintentionality, what what is
what is my attitude or my stancetowards this, right?
Uh you know, go ahead.
Oh, go ahead, finish.
Sorry.
No, you're go ahead.
No, you go.
No, after you.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
Oh no, you first, you hang up.
Um, so I was yeah, what you'resaying, it was it was kind of
resonating with me because it'slike I don't need to our
feelings are what they are,right?
Right.
Um, it's it's how I'mexperiencing that moment.
It's not necessarily reality,right?
Like I don't like I'm makingsomething up, I don't like
(07:14):
broccoli.
That doesn't mean broccoli isnot good for me, right?
It's just how I feel in thatmoment.
But it's important to like payattention to them.
But then my intention, mypurpose.
So I think purpose and intentionare kind of linked too, right?
So it's like use really simpleexamples.
If I'm hungry, I eat.
So it's like, what is thepurpose of the thing?
(07:34):
Well, is tied to the intention.
I'm trying to satisfy hunger, orI gotta go to the bathroom, you
go to the bathroom, right?
There's so there's a purpose ofwhat you're doing and an
intention that's driving yourbehavior.
And those things don't have tobe linked to how you feel,
right?
Like I don't have to like or Idon't have to feel good when I
pray.
I don't have to feel good if Igo to the gym.
(07:55):
I don't have to feel good,whatever, right?
I understand it happens, right?
And that that's probably toclose some kind of feedback loop
in your mind.
It's probably how people makegood and bad habits, right?
Like I had this this intention,my purpose was or my purpose and
my intention, that thing getsfulfilled, that's satisfying or
it feels good, and now I want todo it again, right?
(08:18):
So, but but it doesn't have tobe, right?
I don't have to my feelingsdon't have to necessarily match
the moment.
SPEAKER_00 (08:28):
No, and I think that's where I think maturity
comes in to be able to parse outmy emotion, my feeling, versus
you know, uh not allowing thatto muddy or cloud up my
reasoning, trying to reason itthrough, trying to figure out
(08:50):
what's going on, trying to parsethings out.
And I think it's very important,and this is part of the whole
contemplative process as well,is to be able to stand back from
yourself, that there be somesort of uh objectivity
concerning the self, to be ableto observe ourselves.
Yeah, that's what makes ushuman, is we're we know that we
(09:11):
know, and so we're capable ofactually examining ourselves and
um questioning our motives andstuff, whereas you know other
animals don't do that, they'rejust they're instinctual.
Um, cats that are murdering eachother.
So it's it's it's sort of likebut it takes it takes an
(09:35):
ability, it takes the ability tobe able to stand apart from
yourself.
And so if you don't practicethat, if you're not capable of
doing that, if you're notcapable of standing outside of
yourself and being objectiveabout yourself, then what
happens is you allow youremotions and your feelings to
dictate your behavior anddecisions, and thereby you
(09:56):
really never have anintentionality because you're
only going by instinct and byyou know you're being reactive.
And when we talk aboutintentionality, intentionality
is like there is a particularway I want to live, a particular
path I want to go down, andregardless of the difficulties,
this is what I feel is best forme or contributes to um a
(10:22):
growing humaneness or humanness,right?
A greater integrity of self andperson.
So all those things are allthose different variables that
have to do with how we makethose decisions and how we how
we enter into transition.
Some people transition very,very, very badly.
It it's it's very um, it reallyshakes their core and they have
(10:48):
a really difficult time andanxiety of dealing with
transition.
Other people are much you knowon the opposite side, be like,
it's just like, yeah, okay,whatever.
I'll just you know adjust.
But um, it depends again on yourperson and how you see things
and perceive things.
SPEAKER_01 (11:05):
So that's really interesting to me too, because
um I can see the transition,like I said, my age, daughter
going to college, mom dying, andstuff like that, right?
So there it is a pretty bigtransitional moment.
Like for let's just take Sophiagoing to college, right?
Um the a child is I think verynaturally the focal point of a
(11:28):
family, right?
The parents come together,everything's about the kid, now
the kid's gone, and it's like,what are we coming together for?
You know what I mean?
Like there's this thing ismissing, so there's a big
transition.
Um, so like a lot of that isresonating with me.
I also kind of wonder as you asyou're talking, like um, and
(11:49):
yeah, transition can be jarring.
What about like a lack oftransition?
I I think a lot of times aboutExodus when um they're wandering
through the desert and there'sthe pillar of fire that tells
them wait, do they they followthe cloud, and whenever the
pillar of fire comes down,that's where they stop and wait,
(12:11):
right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:13):
It's a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of
cloud by day, and the pillarwhen the pillar raises or pulls
up back up into heaven orwherever it is, then that's when
they know to move and when itisn't settled, when it's not
settled, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
So that's yeah.
And so, yeah, so in that though,what I've noticed is like the
Bible, it doesn't say how longthey had to wait.
Right.
And so it's like you get thereand they're like, okay, and I
mean they were out there for 40years.
I I think I Google mapped itonce.
It's it's like a two-week walkfrom Egypt to Israel or
something like that.
So they were really out therefor a while.
(12:49):
But the whole point of it issometimes you don't transition,
like you wait, and that's reallyuncomfortable too.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
All right, and even okay, it's interesting that you
bring this up becausetransitioning, okay.
Let's take let's take the storyof of Israel.
As Israel transitions out ofslavery into freedom, they had a
hard time.
Yeah, had a really hard time.
And so I'm always I'm always Ilaugh at myself or I laugh to
(13:22):
myself when I read it becauseyou know, like they leave,
right, and leave with gold andsilver, and they leave with all
the cattle, they leave with allthe livestock, right?
And then they're out in thedesert, and then they tell God,
you know, like feed us.
Like, and I and I'm going like,dude, you have herds, you have
(13:44):
your livestock, use that, right?
But it has to do more with umthe difficulty of transition and
being dependent and learning howto grow into the freedom and the
responsibility andaccountability that freedom
brings.
And that's kind of the purposeof that sacred history, right?
(14:08):
That whole uh development ofIsrael.
And then again, when they get towhen they're in the desert,
again, the transitioning ofokay, uh, they go all the way to
the promised land, and then theydon't want to go in.
They're big, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:28):
So, okay, so you don't want to fight for your
freedom.
Yeah, it's not like okay, comehere, it's it's wrapped in a
bow.
Like, no, you have to fight foryour freedom.
That's how you appreciate yourfreedom, is when you fight for
it.
And so then they have to go tothe then their punishment is to
be in the desert, right?
So again, those are moments oftransition and the inability to
(14:52):
trust that there uh is somethingin the transition that might be
good for me, that might be uh amoment of growth, a moment of
virtue, a moment of developmentfor me as a person or as a
people or as a nation, right?
And I think it goes back to thewhole idea of an intentionality
(15:14):
and how do how do we transition?
Do we transition well?
What are the difficulties?
It goes back, this goes back tothis you know being objective
about the self.
How do I react to transition?
How do we as a community, as afamily, uh face uh transition?
(15:37):
Is there denial?
Is there rejection?
Is there blindness?
Is there uh the refusal to seethe need for transition, the
need for change?
Right?
And so a lot of it has to doagain, going back to do I
understand that um change forthe sake of change is not
necessarily healthy, but changeis something that is part of
(16:01):
life, it is uh it's part of theorganic existence.
There's always going to bechange, always, because that's
what life is, it's a continualdevelopment.
And for us as mortals, there'suh a development and a decline.
And can I see that?
Can I accept that?
Can I deal with that in a waythat is objective and
(16:23):
understanding, uh, using that asa as a as a means to growing my
own wholeness and and um abilityto see the greater picture,
right?
The greater, the greater design.
SPEAKER_01 (16:37):
Do you think you need to do you think you need to
be able to see where you'retransitioning to?
Like the Israelites, Moses said,I'm taking you to the promised
land, right?
So they know where they'regoing, and now their growth is
in the transition to wherethey're supposed to be going,
right?
And this is similar.
Um, you know, I heard somebodypreach once about like this is
(16:58):
similar to the transition from astate of slavery to sin to true
freedom, right?
Like I know where I'm going, nowI have to trust in the process
to transition there.
So if I don't know where I'mgoing, though, is that part of
the whole waiting?
That's the being comfortablewith waiting.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, that's the discomfort, right?
So if we're transitioning tosomething new, because it's new,
we don't know what it is.
We have no idea.
And we spend a lot of time,energy, uh, psychological,
spiritual, emotional energy,trying to come up with all the
different ideas of what it couldpossibly be, instead of just
(17:41):
saying, okay, let's, you know,let's follow the Holy Spirit in
this adventure and allow theadventure to unfold and deal
with it as it unfolds, right?
Instead of trying to anticipate,a lot of the anxiety is trying
to anticipate what it might be,right?
And chances are um it's notgonna be what we think it is.
(18:04):
And that's where the difficultycomes, right?
SPEAKER_01 (18:06):
Do you think a lot of people artificially start
defining things to try to makethemselves comfortable?
Like again, I'm just makingsomething up.
My daughter goes to college, sonow I'm gonna take up oil
painting or something, right?
Like I'm gonna pursue my hobbiesor something like that.
And now I have a purpose becauseI've forced this purpose into my
(18:27):
moment.
SPEAKER_00 (18:27):
Right.
Yeah, and sometimes it's becausethis goes to sort of the
instinctual, you know, we'rehardwired for survival, and the
unknown is always threatening.
And so we always somehow projectsome type of knowledge of what
the future is going to be likeor some plan I make.
And again, it's okay to makeplans.
I'm not saying you should neverplan.
(18:48):
But what happens is, you know,and this is what I always tell
people that I direct like, makesure that your plan is always
open-ended, right?
It may this is a plan that youhave, but it may not, it may not
be that.
Maybe that's not how it'ssupposed to be.
And so, you know, don'tnecessarily be definitive in
what you expect to happen.
It's like, okay, this is what,this is only a plan.
(19:11):
This is one of the possibilitiesthat I have in mind.
And so I think transitioningfor, I think, as we get older,
transitioning into what life issupposed to be or what we I
think a lot of it has to do withreconciling what we thought life
would be when we were younger,and then finding out that it's
(19:32):
not exactly what I've perceivedit to be or what I thought it
would be, and it's somethingelse.
Uh and sometimes there'sdifficulty in that.
And the intentionality, goingback to the intentionality, the
intentionality is not that Iintend to make all of my plans
come true.
The intentionality is am Icapable of allowing myself to
(19:57):
grow in an organic way, in a waythat is life-giving and
fulfilling and helps me to be agreater person in all of the
wholeness of what that means.
And not necessarily just aboutuh making sure that all the
tasks are completed, right?
That you know, so uh marrying adoctor or marrying a whatever or
(20:23):
having you know 12 kids or youknow white picket fence and all
that.
White picket fence, yeah,exactly.
All that, right?
And so sometimes again, we weset ourselves up, we set
ourselves up for for failure byby trying to insist on those
things.
Who was it like?
I think it was Mark Twain uh whosaid that um was it something
(20:48):
like all the most of theterrible things that happened in
my life have never happened, orsomething like that.
The key it was something that hewould fears, you know, he was
talking about the fears that hehad.
And Mark Twain said somethingabout like, you know, most of
the terrible things thathappened in my life never
happened because it was just inmy head, right?
So and sometimes that's whathappens.
We we we uh depending on ourpersonality or psychology or
(21:15):
personality, right?
How we think, right?
We can be catastrophic in ourthinking or we can be
polyana-ish in our thinking, andneither of those things are are
real, and so it's a matter ofadjusting, yeah, to what is
unfolding in our lives.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Yeah, I just I just looked it up.
He said the quote is I've livedthrough some terrible things in
my life, some of which actuallyhappened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So is there um is there maybesome kind of is there something
(21:55):
about our identities, our as asChristians, like our knowledge
of of who and what we are ashumans and as as Christians that
is helpful in the process ofwaiting and being open to
(22:16):
finding that purpose and thenliving with that intention and
being comfortable through thetransition, right?
Like it's I don't know.
I know a lot of people like theykind of wrap their lives up in
their occupation, like you'resaying, I'm a doctor.
So like their whole identity,yes, identity is wrapped up in
(22:37):
that they're a doctor, right?
And then that somehow drivespurpose and or like football
players or something like that.
And then when they retire,they've now lost their identity,
and so they don't know how totransition or whatever, right?
I'm a sort of thing.
Yeah, so is there somethingabout our like deeper, or at
least on a spiritual um kind ofreality of who and what we are
(23:00):
that is helpful for thesemoments of tension in our lives?
SPEAKER_00 (23:06):
Yeah, and I think it has to do a lot with going back
to objectivity and maturity,right?
Maturity, developmental maturityin terms of human formation,
human maturity, andpsychological and spiritual
maturity.
One of the things that I thinkis um a beautiful meditation or
(23:26):
a beautiful uh theme to reflecton is this whole idea that uh
the the Second Vatican Councilfathers brought back or tried to
re renew in the church and theidea of it being a pilgrim
church.
That this is a journey.
(23:47):
And so this is not the finalresting place.
And so I think that helps a lotwhen you're like, okay, I am I
am in a moment, I am intransition.
My whole life is transition.
I from baptism till till deathtill I transition into my
eternal life and the fullness oflife when the Lord comes.
(24:08):
Um and I think it's sometimes weforget those images that we have
and we we take them for granted,and we don't really enter into
the greatness of that design orthe greatness of that um vision
(24:28):
of the church, right?
That we are in a in we are apilgrim church.
We are we are moving throughspace and time, and we as a
church are growing organicallyand developing until we reach uh
the full stature of maturity inChrist, whatever that may be
like.
And I think the human uh fear ofchange, of instability,
(24:52):
sometimes enslaves us to seekconsolation and finding
stability and other things thatare not stable.
For example, again, work,pleasure, whatever it might be,
right?
I I was just thinking of this.
Um was that there was a movie, Ithink it was in the 90s, it was
(25:14):
about the excess, really theexcess of the 90s.
Um was it American Psycho?
SPEAKER_01 (25:22):
Yeah, I've never actually seen that all the way
through.
I know I know the movie, you'veseen clips of stuff.
I've never seen the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
It's there's some very racy sexual uh content in
it.
So yeah, be careful about that.
Yeah, but it's the 90s, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, it's and it's reallybasically about it's a uh film
that speaks of the excess of the90s, but how the excess of the
(25:49):
90s was really a mask for theemptiness of the person, right?
That they they made everythingabout um what is the the what is
the hottest restaurant to go tothat has the waiting list that
only the right people get in?
And and it's interesting, one ofthe things that that is uh I
(26:12):
found hilarious, they're allthese uh it's all about hype,
right?
And so they all have thesebusiness cards, right?
And they're all showing theirbusiness cards and they're
talking about the print and thepaper and all this other stuff.
And so the the the jealousy andthe envy and the hate that they
feel for each other because ofthe business card, or perceiving
(26:35):
their business card is betterthan somebody else's business
card, right?
And it goes back to the wholeidea of this is where I'm trying
to find stability.
I'm trying to find uh a way tobe better or to feel that I have
conquered or that I have reachedwhatever the the my goal and to
see that it's uh easily uhdisrupted, right?
(26:59):
And it's um yeah, it's not it'snot a movie that I would
recommend.
Recommend uh again, becauseagain, there's some very
sexually explicit scenes inthere, right?
And so like but if you step backfrom it uh and you really see it
as uh what it is, it's uh it's ait's a critique, it's a satire
of the consumerist materialistuh values of uh the culture of
(27:24):
the United States that we livein.
And and and part of the uh ittoo is that uh the main
character gets confused withsomebody else.
In other words, they don'treally see each other.
The fact that they confuse himfor somebody else that is in the
corporation as well, speaks ofthat they're not really even
present to each other.
(27:44):
They really don't know eachother, recognize each other, and
this whole idea that he can beeasily confused with somebody
else is also part of like, okay,so yeah, this is all the
shallowness of it, right?
Uh how trying to find an anchorin something that is temporal
and passing is is foolish.
So another movie rant, so nevermind, sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
Hey, this one wasn't sci-fi though, so okay, true.
That's a maybe a is that a firstfor us?
Maybe maybe um yeah, so it'slike my purpose.
Like I've defined my purpose togo be, I don't know, successful,
business successful or somethinglike that.
Right.
So now my intention, I live mylife to uh toward this end of
(28:33):
becoming business successful,but all of it's just empty.
SPEAKER_00 (28:38):
Right.
For example, you know, when whena lot of these young persons uh
their whole entire focus andtheir identity is to become a
professional sports person,right?
And they give it and give it andgive it, and all of a sudden
something happens that blow outyour knee or something.
You blow out your knee or yourelbow or whatever, and all of a
(28:59):
sudden everything, everythingthat you had pinned your hopes
and dreams and future on is notgone.
And so, yeah, that is a verydifficult transition to make,
right?
Because everything, I waspinning everything, my identity
on this particular thing.
And I think it goes back to thequestion of intentionality.
(29:22):
So, what is my intentionality?
Is my intentionality focused ondefining myself by something
that I accomplish?
Or is my intentionality focusedupon the development of myself
as a human person in thedevelopment of my emotional,
psychological, spiritual,intellectual abilities to be
able to be fully the humanperson that God desires me to be
(29:45):
or asks me to be?
SPEAKER_01 (29:47):
Yeah, then that's interesting too, because that
makes me think Jesus says,paraphrasing, um if you hear my
words and I don't know.
and and do the things you'relike a wise man who who built
his foundation on bedrock rightso there's there's something
(30:09):
there to the the transitions andlife and the uncertainties the
storms that don't wash thingsaway because you're grounded on
something bigger so you have andthat's that's also very godlike
I uh or godish I want to saylike it's his it it's his
(30:30):
personality trait um I'm gonnagive you this wonderful thing
right you're my son you're mydaughter I love you you are
everything to me but then youhave complete and total freedom
to do whatever you want in lifewith and I won't give you any
direction and you can go figureit out on your but if you can
remember that you're my son andmy daughter or my daughter and I
(30:51):
love you and you're everythingto me then you're gonna be okay
no matter what as long as youkeep coming back to that.
Right to that that defining umtruth right because that is what
defines us if we remember andkeep to that that we are God's
children right that should bethe primary identity that that
(31:12):
rules in our life yeah so it'slike okay your your kid is gone
uh your friends and familymember you're getting older in
life people are passing awaywhatever people get sick people
get hurt whatever you lose yourjob whatever right how you what
you do with all of that I guessas long as you come back to am I
(31:37):
am I navigating this in theunderstanding of who I am and
and I guess that's kind of youwere you were saying something
similar to that back at thebeginning um then ultimately I
guess I it it really it's kindof funny and I'm I'm sure it's
(31:58):
frustrating to people too itdoesn't matter what you do as
long as right like there'sobviously there's always a
little caveat like well I'mgonna go become the next I don't
know axe murderer or somethinglike that.
No like it kind of matters whatyou're doing um because you
can't do that like because Jesusthere's consequences to that
(32:18):
yeah yeah but I don't know itjust it's just so interesting
and I I and I think you know Iwas thinking about y'all and and
the intentionality that you alltake uh bring to your prayers
like when you do Vespers beforemass um it's slow on purpose
right it is you take your timeand what like what's tell me
(32:44):
about that like why do youwhat's the intention behind
taking your time with it?
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
With the reciting of the Psalms well part of it is
that okay it's scripture one twois that um the Holy Spirit still
lives in the scripture it is theliving spirit scripture is
(33:13):
living for us still and it isGod's truth and for us taking
our time as we recite the Psalmsyou before uh before mass we
have uh Lods and so we talkabout our Lods yeah sorry sorry
Absoluting Vespers yeah we takeour time we we recite a line we
take a breath we recite the nextline we take a breath because
basically you're either likeokay I'm allowing the spirit to
(33:38):
basically the community breathestogether and and pauses together
and it takes on a life of itsown yeah as the community is is
praying uh the psalms and it's amatter of being open to the
spirit being allowing the spiritto speak to us allowing the word
(33:59):
to kind of um dwell on the wordfor a moment and go to the next
and just basically entering intothe psalm prayer itself it's
it's a matter of praying thepsalm not just reciting the
psalm and for us it's a matterof taking again it's not like
long long but you know for somepeople that are coming go like
(34:20):
dang y'all take your time likewell no actually no this is just
normal for us you know uh and Isaid either we're slow or y'all
are fast whichever way you wantto look at it so uh yeah the
intentionality is to be presentto the word as you pray the word
of the Psalms and when you wereum young or even recently have
(34:43):
you ever found yourself whereit's I mean I'm sure it's the
same thing for people who go tothe gym regularly if they're
like I don't really want to behere right I I have other things
on my mind.
SPEAKER_01 (34:52):
So how do you kind of set that aside back to the
intentionality of I just want tobe present with God because I
know that the things that I'msetting aside when I come back
to those, they'll be betterbecause I was diligent or
disciplined in this.
SPEAKER_00 (35:09):
Right.
And I think that goes back tothat helps in the learning to be
objective about the self, right?
I have to put this aside becauseit's time to go pray.
It's you know and sometimesagain or we have you know we
have a very bad night and wedon't sleep well or we get up
and we're more exhausted thanwhen we went to bed and like
(35:32):
like you know five more minutesmom like well no you have to get
up you have to get ready prepareyourself prepare yourself for
you know prayer and mass andstuff and you basically just you
know force yourself andsometimes it's hard to enter
into it um you know bright eyedand bushy tailed but that
(35:55):
doesn't really have to do withthe intentionality the
intentionality is I have to beresponsible I have to be present
this is what I have committedmyself to and so this is what I
need this is again sometimes itis duty bound but sometimes it's
it's more than just being dutybound.
Sometimes the duty bound or theduty of it helps you get through
(36:16):
those difficult those difficultmornings or afternoons or
evenings.
And a lot of times it's justlike once you start you know you
remember why you're there andyou're glad you're there and
you're happy you're there andyou just enter into it.
And sometimes you know sometimeseven the prayer is still dry and
difficult but you're there andyou go okay here Lord you know
this is all I have to give youand so you my poverty is all I
(36:40):
have to give so this is what Igive you.
SPEAKER_01 (36:42):
And so again the intention is to be there and to
be present and to to intercedefor the church regardless of
what your personal uh feeling isthat day, that morning that
evening or that night yeah welland it it's almost um the
Christian reality of theChristian understanding of
(37:06):
reality right the the way weunderstand God humanity Jesus
like all that kind of stuff kindof when you when you really
start to grasp it I guess thenit's um like you're saying the
showing up the duty bound it'salmost like a form of justice
like it's just that I'm doingthis because uh look at like
(37:31):
look at reality right look atwho I am or what I am as a human
and what God did for me andstuff like that.
Yeah hmm okay well thanks forthat thanks for helping me just
(37:53):
chew on it a little bit you knowwhat I mean take your one of my
friends Anthony he always saystake your time with it just I
think that's a good phrase yeahthink it through think it
through yeah okay well let'swrap this up I will uh I'll see
(38:13):
you very soon I hope yes and uhwe'll get another episode okay
and everyone who joined usthanks for listening thank you
God bless bye bye
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