May 31, 2024 • 35 mins
In this episode, John and Chris talk about finding joy in good times, difficult times, and trusting in God to provide comfort. We open up about healing and redemption through Christ, drawing parallels between personal struggles and the suffering of Jesus on the cross. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of finding profound transformation through faith.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the my Friend the Friar podcast and
thanks for listening.
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Thanks again and God bless.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm going to have a chord.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Is that working?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Bonus Bonus.
Thanks again and God bless.
Yeah, bonus, I don't rememberanything about those guys?
Me neither.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
That was fun.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, it was fun.
We were talking about the JonasBrothers.
There's a.
When we drive to Padre and wego to Padre, there's a Jonas
Brothers song.
I don't it's like I don'tremember the words or anything
like that, but when we'redriving over the bridge to get
to the island, that's what thekids want to play on the radio.
(01:09):
We roll the windows down andthey just jam that song all the
way over the bridge and it'slike the time that it takes to
see.
It's like perfect timing.
We start on the bridge.
They start it and we go overthe bridge and by the time we
get to the end of the bridge thesong's over.
So it's like that's so funny.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I don't know any jonas brother song.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah I couldn't tell you what it's called.
I couldn't, I, I could not singone lyric of it to you right
now.
I just know the, the, the beatof it you know, I hear it in
your brain that's all I know.
I mean, we can't hear thelyrics anyway, because the ocean
and the waves yeah, and windowsdown.
that's all you hear.
But I can hear the music and sothey love.
(01:46):
When we go to Padre and wedrive over the bridge, they like
listening to that that's funnyTo that song.
Where do y'all go?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Like South Padre.
Yeah, we go to.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
South Padre.
Yeah, we go Like we alternateour vacations.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
We go to South Pad padre and then we go on a cruise
, like every other year so, yeah, I've never been to south padre
, never been on a cruise either,but I grew up on like kind of
northern padre yeah, right, sooh, okay yeah, so going when I,
when I would go to padre, it's,it's not like south padre, it's
not, it's not, but you stillcross, you still cross a bridge
(02:23):
to get there.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And there's still salt water and it's hot.
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I know it's definitely hot.
We don't.
That's one of the things we do.
We don't go to the beach untilafter six o'clock at night,
really, oh yeah, we don't go tothe beach during the day.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
We just don't.
What do you do Again?
I've never been to South Pond.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Well, one, we play a lot of games in the condo.
We have a lot of games, we likegames.
We just hang out.
You know, take a lot of naps.
When I'm on vacation, I like tonap and we usually get a place
with a pool and the kids love togo in the pool.
Do y'all?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
like rent a house or Airbnb.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And it has a pool.
So we do that and then we lovethe local life around there.
Man, we go and there's a seaturtle rescue down there that
every time we go down there, weadopt a new sea turtle.
So I'm like, the parent of like10 sea turtles.
That's funny.
(03:27):
So, um, yeah, we do that.
And then, um, we love the fooddown there.
We spend a lot of money on food.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I love the like.
Yeah, that's so, cause growingup in in Corpus Christi is like
there's nothing nice aboutCorpus.
Yeah, like at all.
Everything is like that.
Yeah, like at all.
Everything is like that.
Everything is the washed outsun beet, salt beet kind of gray
tinge to like everything.
Yeah, but there's somethingabout the food.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Something about see, and I guess, growing up down
there, you would get there atsunrise and then you're out
there all day long just kind ofcooking, baking, yeah, and then,
and you might be fishing, oryou might just be swimming or
playing in the water orvolleyball or whatever but then
in the evening, because you'vebeen out there all day long you
go home, wash all the salt andthe sand and stuff off right,
get kind of de-crispy and youjust go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, it's just so good yeah kind of de-crispy and
uh, and you just go to sleep.
Yeah, it's just so good, yeah,and so that's, that's okay.
So one of the one of the thingsthat I love the most about
going to and being in the middleof the ocean on a cruise is one
of the things I do every timewe go is like, when it's like
two o'clock, 2 30 in the morning, there's nobody on the beach.
There's people out there,they're going crab hunting and
(04:44):
stuff like that, but it's notcrowded yeah and so I go out
there and I stand with my, withmy feet in the water, letting
the waves come up, and I justlook at the vastness of the
ocean and I just think, man, howsmall I am.
And just this little speck ofme and the vastness of the, the
(05:05):
universe, you know?
Yeah, and it's, I don't, Idon't know how to explain it,
but to me that's as close to Godas I've ever been.
I love going down there becauseand it's it's every time we go
and it's every night that we'rethere I'm there two, two, 33
o'clock in the morning and Istand out there and I just it
(05:27):
makes you realize how awesomeGod is.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
The beach at night or well, and when you're far
enough out and there's no lightpollution, like here in Dallas,
you can't see anything.
You can't see anything you cansee like three stars, exactly,
but at the beach at night, it'sjust everything is there.
Yeah, and it's crazy.
And that's not even like if youwent out in the middle of the
desert somewhere.
That's even more amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But yeah, we used to.
Every now and then we would dolike bonfires growing up and
stuff.
Well, like when I was in highschool, like our friends and
stuff, but going to the beach atnight it's quiet.
Going to the beach at nightit's quiet, it's like you're
saying it's not crowded you,just the sound of the waves
constantly.
But it's, you're right.
It's just vast and it's vast outin front of you and it's vast
(06:13):
above you and it's.
It does make you feel small,but it's.
It's one of those things whereit's, I guess, yeah, it makes
you it's like how awesome isthis universe we live in, that
God made this.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, right, and I always think too, like I don't
know the percentage or anythinglike that, but we have like
90-something percent of theocean is undiscovered, right,
like 90% of it.
We have no idea what's in there.
Yeah, but God does, let's getyour mic back a little bit, but
God does, yeah, god no ideawhat's in there?
Yeah, but God does let's getyour mic back a little bit but
(06:46):
God does.
Yeah, god knows exactly what'sin there, god knows everything.
And and it's just crazy that,no matter how much we try, as
humans, to understand God'screation, we just never will.
We just won't, can't do it, andI think it's okay.
But we get so wrapped up in,it's not okay, we have to, that
(07:08):
we forget about.
Just step back and enjoy it.
And that's one of the reasonswhy I go is because when I'm on
vacation, man, I don't worryabout nothing.
Dude, I really don't.
I don't get mad.
I can be in traffic on vacation,I'm okay, but if I get out here
on 35 right here, 635 righthere and I'm in traffic and I
turn into a sailor.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, you know, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
You know, but when I'm on the beach or I'm out
there and again, just being onthe because when you're on a
cruise, you can't turn aroundand see condos and all that yeah
, you see the cruise ship, butman, you're out there and every
time all the way around, thatcruise ship is just nothing but
ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Right, and it's just it's.
It's so awesome to realize thatthe same God this is why I say
I've never been closest to Godbeing out there the same God
that made all that, cared enoughto make me, cared enough to
mold me and breathe his lifeinto me so that I can be alive,
(08:16):
but he's still worried about allthat and me, this little speck
in this universe.
He cared enough to give me lifeand to be there every step of
the way, whenever I was hurtingand the pain that I was going
through and all the stuff thatI've been through in my life.
He was always there.
Even when I doubted him andeven when I didn't want him to
(08:36):
be there, he was still there andbeing something about being in
that ocean, man, it just itbrings that back, it brings it
all there.
And then, like during the day,we usually sit on the balcony
and we can see the ocean and thewaves come in, and it's so cool
(08:57):
to look at the waves on thebeach and and when they come in,
because they don't come in thesame length at every spot yeah,
some spots they come way in andthen some spots they barely come
in.
But it's the same beach.
Yep, you know, and I look atthat in my life like my life is
the same beach.
I've been living the same lifemy whole, but at different times
.
The waves and tides come in wayharder and way more vast and
(09:18):
way more, more more controlling,or whatever you want to call it
.
And then if I walk through thatand I continue on that beach,
you know, walk in the same wayat some point I'm going to get
to a point to where the wavesdon't come up so much, and then
I've got, I've got, I've got adecent amount of sand under my
feet to where I'm okay and I'mnot worried about those sucking
(09:38):
me back into the vastness of theocean, right?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And you know, I think I was telling you this last
time that I was reading anarticle, and we do this all the
time with each other.
I've read just this, like Iread a two-page article and I
remember a snippet of it right,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so one of these snippets ofthis article was the story about
the cow and the bull.
Right, oh, yeah, and so, um, acow, when it, when it, when it
(10:02):
knows the storm is coming, oh,the cow and the, the cow and the
buffalo.
Buffalo, not the cow and thebull, the cow and the buffalo.
When a cow knows the storm iscoming, it'll run away from the
storm, but it ends up being inthe storm longer because it's
trying to run away from it andit's actually running with it.
The buffalo sees the storm andthe buffalo runs right towards
it because he knows that if heruns towards that storm, on the
(10:24):
other side of it there's not astorm the storm's only going to
last so long yeahthat's kind of what I feel like
the the waves on the beach areis, if you just keep walking,
because if you, if you try to,if you turn around and start
walking into the ocean, what areyou going to do?
You're going to end up in theocean.
You're going to drown becauseyou're not a fish.
But if you walk that path, youjust keep walking that path
(10:45):
where that wave comes up, andthen you just keep walking.
Well, eventually that wave isgoing to come down and then
you're going to be on a partwhere there's not a wave.
And so that's just to me.
It shows the beauty of of God inour life and how, yeah, he's,
he's.
You're going to go through.
You're going to go through somestuff.
(11:05):
You're going to have some wavesand you're going to have some
storms and you're going to havehave some, some knockdown drag
outs with yourself.
You're going to have someknockdown drag outs with God.
But, man, when you get on theother side of that, if you're
willing, if you're willing tocome on the other side of that
and you're willing to use thatto propel you to who God really
(11:26):
wants you to be, man, it'spowerful.
It's powerful.
And again, we talked a littlebit about kids and how they
handle it and how adults handleit and how they handle it and
how adults handle it.
And you know, the older I get,the more I realize that it's the
battles that I've fought in mylife and the struggles and the
strifes that I've fought in mylife.
It makes it easy to enjoy thegood stuff, man.
(11:49):
It makes it easy to the good isgooder.
That's what I tell my kids.
The good is gooder, the good isgooder.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's what I tell my kids.
The good is gooder.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
And the good is good.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah With with with God man you ever just stand
there, um, right on the edge ofthe water where it's coming up
around your feet, and the sandis wet enough that you just
keeps kind of sinking down.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I love that man, I love that.
I love that man, I love that.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I love sinking in the sand and then you're like
fighting, trying to get up,because you can kind of shift
your feet back and forth andsink a little bit further until,
like you're saying, you got tolike pull your leg out or your
foot out.
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't been to the beach ingolly years.
We haven't been.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
We always have something going on and it's uh,
for for us, especially like mydaughter, because she's in band
and all these things there'salways something going on in the
summer, always something, andso we've just, we've, we've just
been neglecting it for so long,like making that time to relax
and to vacate.
I don't know how to vacatebecause you vacate when you
vacation, yeah, right, so, butyeah, we, we, I'm the same way.
I've got four kids and they allhave something to do and got
(13:02):
one in college and one aboutready to go to college and they
band and they wrestle and theirtheater and everything going on
but, you know, for the longestwe didn't take them on vacations
because we let those thingsdictate.
You know our lives.
And then at some I don'tremember when it was, it was
quite a few years back we werelike, look, we're going to at
least take a week.
(13:22):
And if you're going to miss awrestling tournament, if you're
going to miss a band concert, ifyou're going to miss something,
they're just going to have todeal with it.
Because the time that we maketogether I'm going to tell you
some of the best moments of mylife are driving to Padre,
because we play a game.
It's called ABC Improv and mydaughter was in theater and she
(13:42):
brought it to us, and so we taketurns coming up with the scene
and give each other charactersand give each other roles, and
we say action.
And then at the very beginningI'm usually the driver, so it
starts with me A.
So I have to come up with aline in the story as my
(14:02):
character with an A.
It has to start with.
A and the next person is B, andit has to just continue A, B, C,
D all the way through thealphabet.
You got to tell the story, andyou got to tell a story using
the alphabet, and some of thebest moments of my life are
those memories in that van andthose stories and the stuff that
(14:23):
my kids come up with with theletters that they're given, and
like Q, is one of the hardest.
Most of the time it's quiet,but it has to make sense in the
story.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
right, it's got to make sense in the story right,
it's gotta make.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It's gotta make sense in the story and it's like
quickly or quiet or somethinglike that.
But some I mean one of thetimes they yelled out quebec and
it's like it doesn't make anysense, but it's funny this is
funny and so, yeah, that's whywe we said, okay, you'll miss a
wrestling tournament yeah, thisis worth it.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
this, this is worth it, this is worth it, this is
worth it, this is worth it.
Man, it's funny.
I literally just got a speakingof my daughter and bands and
all that stuff.
I just got a message.
My daughter is now for hersenior year, will be the
drumline captain.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
For their percussion group.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That is awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So we're probably not doing anything this summer.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Because she's kind of Because she's captain yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
But, yeah, it definitely.
It makes you think it's likeit's such a good, it's such a
good lesson to learn from you inthat right there, because if
you don't make the time, it'sgoing to be gone, like she's
going to be senior, yeah, she'snot going to be a little girl
(15:39):
anymore, Right.
And so it's like everyopportunity should be met with
respect to how fleeting it is,right.
Yeah, because like you'll neverhave that moment again, never.
And so it's like watch myLittle Ponies for the 15th time.
Absolutely, it doesn't matter.
Watch it, right.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, because like you'll never have that moment
again Never, and so it's likewatch my Little.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Ponies for the 15th time.
Absolutely, it doesn't matter.
Watch it Right, stay up allnight long, knowing you got to
get up and go to work the nextday.
Whatever, do it, because you'renever going to have those
chances again.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You're not.
And the hardest, one of thehardest things I ever had to do
is leave my daughter at Ole Miss, knowing that I'll never forget
the moment.
And I'm about to do it againhere in a couple of months
because I'm going to leave mysecond daughter at Ole Miss.
(16:30):
Thank God she chose Ole Misswith her older sister, right?
But I'm thinking in my headgoing back to that moment where
we spent the weekend with herand we moved her in and it was
exciting and it was awesome andit was.
I'm so proud of her, you know,and all this.
But I knew that I had to cherishevery moment there because I
knew that it was going to cometo an end and that Sunday
(16:52):
evening was coming and I knewthat we were going to have to
drive back and we were going tohave to leave and she had, uh,
there there's like this littlegroup, an empower group that she
joined, uh, to make friends,it's like a friend's group and
all that stuff and they hadsomething going on Sunday
evening and I so wanted to belike no, you're not going to
(17:14):
that group, this is, these arethe last hours that we have with
you.
You're not going to that group.
This is.
These are the last hours that wehave with you you're not going
to the group, yeah, but Iremember, distinctly remember,
and I'm hugging her and I gaveher a note that that, uh, I
wrote her and we're walking outof the, out of the dorm room and
, uh, we were all hungry, wehadn't eaten in a while, uh,
(17:34):
since lunch, and this wasprobably I don't know probably
around 5, 30, something likethat, and the student union was
still open.
And we're like man, the studentunion is still open.
They have, uh, um, chick-fil-ain the student union.
Let's go get something to eat.
Well, I ate panda express, butI remember going in there and
getting something to eat and Icouldn't eat.
I was crying, I couldn't eat myfood, but but God is so good.
(17:55):
God is so good Because I lookup on the balcony and I see my
daughter with her friend group.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh man, they're in the same place.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
They're there.
They went to the student unionand I got to see her being happy
and laughing and hanging out.
But God knew I needed that.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Nobody else knew I needed that, but God knew that I
needed to see her one more timebeing happy.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Because, as a dad, you leave them there and they're
like, oh, they're going to bemiserable and they're not going
to know what to do.
And but I was sitting there andI was, I had my head down and I
was trying to eat my noodlesfrom Panda and my teriyaki
chicken or whatever it was, andI kind of just leaned back in my
chair and I looked up and shewas on the second floor in a
(18:47):
balcony and she was smiling.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah, and it was like , oh, my baby's going to be okay
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
You know, and it was just, I knew it was God, I knew
he was just like, it's okay, Igot her.
You know, she's going to gothrough some, she's going to
have some hard times, somestuff's going to happen, you
know.
But I got her, you know, justtrust me, right, yeah, and so
there was just, it was good.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
There was this, so I listened to this other podcast,
pints with Aquinas, and mostpeople who listen to Catholic
podcasts know Pints with Aquinas.
It's really, really big and I'drecommend you go check it out
too.
Anyway, he was talking to thisone guy a few episodes ago and I
(19:34):
forget exactly what they weretalking about, but he's saying
he does this little thoughtexperiment and it stuck with me.
And the thought experiment wasthat if there was a time machine
that you could go into and itwould take you back and you'd be
able to see a moment in yourlife, right, yeah, but and I'm
(19:59):
probably messing this up too,but there's something about the
experiment to where, when you goback, it's not a pleasant
moment.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
So what if?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
like you really, really, really wanted to see
your wife right, like maybe shepassed away you know you're an
old man and stuff, so you canget in there and you can go back
, and but when you see your wifeit's not gonna be a good moment
.
Could you still be present inthat moment, like that's the
most beautiful, joyful moment ofyour life because you're
finally getting to see her again, kind of thing and so so, like
(20:30):
you know, we have these littlemoments, like you're saying with
your daughter right and andlike for me it's going to be
sitting out in a 112 degreefootball game high school, bad,
high school football, kind ofthing, right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And metal bleachers.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yep and so that kind of stuff.
But can you be in that momentand just be so joyful because
God is so good?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Right, Because even that moment you'll never get it
again.
Never Can you be in thatargument with your wife yeah,
and you'll never get it again,yeah.
So it's like, how do youapproach that moment, those
moments?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, and that's.
You know, when you said thatand you're thinking about going
back to a moment of like painand a moment of hurt or whatever
it is, and are you going to beokay in that moment, Are you
going to be happy in that moment, Well, let's think about Jesus
(21:26):
on the cross, that's one of theworst things, not one of.
It is the worst thing that'sever happened to a human being.
We literally killed God,literally killed God, right.
But we go back to it and wefind joy in it, we find
happiness in it, we find peaceand we find love and we find
mercy in it.
That's the single worst thingthat's ever happened and we find
the most love and the most joyand the most happy in it.
(21:47):
And it's not the fact that whathappened to him, it's the
reasoning by yeah, it's themeaning behind it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Why he did it and I'm sure he is like this is the
best.
Yeah, this is the greatestmoment of my life.
Exactly, you know he's up there.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You know he's saying God, why did you forsake me?
Or father, why'd you forsake me?
But in that same, in that samevoice and that same toner, the
same, that same sentence in hismind, he's like this is the
greatest thing to ever happen tothe world, yeah, Right.
And so he is finding joy andpeace.
Because it's not.
You know, yes, again, I'm goingto go back and say it again.
He didn't love us enough to diefor us.
(22:26):
He loved us enough to live forus.
Yeah, but we would have.
Jesus could have come and doneall his teachings and got all
his followers and all that stuff.
But if he never would have diedon the cross, what would it
have meant?
What would it have meant?
Yeah, it wouldn't have meantanything.
We'd have been just like thisis another dude talking about
how.
But it wasn't just him dying ona cross, because, yeah, two
(22:48):
people died on a cross next tohim.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, but it's what he did afterwards.
You know the actor, shiaLaBeouf, yeah, so he actually
just joined the Catholic Churchrecently and I saw this thing
where he was sitting there justkind of contemplating and he was
thinking about Jesus on thecross and he's like, and I look
up at his face and I think, isthat a joyful man?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
that.
I see there yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Right, is he joyful?
And it's such a weird thingright to think about?
Because yeah, he's.
Obviously he was way beat upyeah.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I can tell you.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
He wasn't feeling joyful.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, his physically he wasn't joyful because he was
beating up again, the singleworst thing that's ever happened
.
And so when you think aboutgoing back and and you know my
wife and I have had plenty ofarguments and we've had plenty
of situations you know I spokeearlier on the podcast.
I had an affair and I got ababy with another woman that
calls my wife mommy and loves mywife and my wife.
(23:48):
That's my wife's daughter, nother stepdaughter, that's her
daughter.
You know, and we've discussedthis several times, just you and
I about you know, but I canthink back before they had that
relationship.
The thought of that child mademy wife mad, it upset her
because it brought her.
Every time she thought of hershe didn't.
And it's not that she blamed mydaughter, it's not that she
(24:13):
blamed her, but every time shethought of my daughter, our
daughter I can't say my daughterevery time she thought of our
daughter, she would think ofthat moment of how bad I hurt
her.
She saw the hurt in what I didto her, but she never took it
out on our daughter.
She would think of that momentof how bad I hurt her.
She saw the hurt in what I didto her, but she never took it
out on our daughter.
She always loved our daughter,but now she's past that.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think God does that a lot in our lives.
Yeah Right, if you don't know,you don't the if you've existed,
the deeper in the darknessyou've ever been.
Like you know the light, allthe more Right.
So, so it's like you can thinkback at your, your most sinful
(24:56):
moments and in those moments weshould be able to draw like.
We should be able to see jesusin those moments and and be so
thankful for him right like Iwould not be in the place I am
today if it wasn't for christ'slove in my most sinful moments.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
And so those not that we should ever be proud, or
whatever of the things thatwe've done.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, that's not what it's about.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But we should always be able to see our salvation
occurring in our worst moments.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I love how you put that See our salvation in our
worst moments.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I love how you put that See our salvation in our
worst moments, because that'sthe cross when I'm doing that
thing that I should have neverbeen doing.
That's Jesus on the cross, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
That's literally why he did it.
It's to take that away.
It's to say it's mine now.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yep, yeah, he took on sin.
Who knew no sin, right?
Yeah, and it's my sin, are thenails holding him on that thing?
Yeah and so, yeah, it isdefinitely something to think of
and like that's not easy.
No, right, there is a lot ofhealing that has to happen for
(26:21):
somebody to be able to see jesusin their most sinful moments
but you can't heal without beinghurt, correct you have to be
hurt to heal.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, he took all the hurt.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
He, he, he, he hurt more than any of us yeah, yeah,
yeah, there's healing is a veryinteresting thing to me, and
Christ healing us is a veryinteresting thing to me.
It's something I think about alot and I'm not very good at
articulating all my thoughts andstuff.
(26:56):
But it is interesting to me howI don't think we even know how
to ask for healing.
Oh man, you know what I mean.
So it's like I've done thisthing, I'm wounded, I need
(27:20):
healing in this.
I don't even know how toarticulate my pain, I don't even
know how to ask for help, Idon't even know how to know that
I need healing.
But it's there and this is inall aspects of our life, all
aspects of our relationship,relationships, everything.
(27:41):
It's all there.
And so you know, I guess God inhis goodness, something will
happen and the little light bulbturns on and you're like, oh
yeah, I'm kind of messed up inthis thing, yeah Right, but even
at that it's hard to take thatto prayer, and you and I were
(28:01):
talking about prayer.
The other day because prayer hasto be this, not a monologue.
It has to be a dialogue.
You have to both speak andlisten to God and you have to
spend that time with him.
And what is it that producesthe healing?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
right.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Because I can understand a Band-Aid or
medicine or something like that.
I take this thing.
This thing makes me better.
I have surgery and the surgerymakes me better.
I can understand all that kindof stuff right, but I can't
quite comprehend what it is andthink how beautiful that is.
(28:41):
The nearer I draw to God, themore he heals me, right.
So it's like I have to be inrelationship with Him, I have to
draw close to Him, I have tospend time with Him, I have to
experience Him for that healingto take place.
But I can't articulate what themechanism is that heals me,
it's just His love.
Yeah, and maybe that's somethingto contemplate.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
When have you ever been loved?
When you're at your worst andyou go.
I don't deserve this, butthere's something about it that
it makes you better.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Yeah, and I love when you say you don't know how to
ask for it.
You know you're in something,but you don't even understand
what.
You're in enough to understandhow to ask to get out of it.
Yeah Right, you're just somessed up.
It's kind of where I'm at now.
And I'm not saying that I'mjust so lost and backslidden
(29:40):
from Christ.
It's just I don't even know howto ask God where to put me,
because I don't know where Ibelong.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You know, and that's what hit me.
So, so much is when you saidthat I was like I don't know how
to ask God, where to put me,and I don't even know if I'm
supposed to ask God where to putme.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
How am I supposed to know what I'm not supposed to
know?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
But one of the stories again an experience in
my life is my dad was a ragingalcoholic growing up and I
remember the moment that he thestory that he tells you know
about him stopping drinking.
And I know my dad's not goingto care me sharing this story
because he wants, he's literallytold me to share this story
(30:25):
with because I'm an alcoholic aswell and I quit drinking.
So he wants me to share thisstory.
So I know he's not going tocare.
He was in a bar and he got intoa fight and he choked a guy to
where the guy passed out and theguy they literally had to do
CPR on the guy to bring the guyback to life Dang.
So he out.
And the guy they literally hadto do cpr.
(30:45):
And a guy to bring the guy backto life dang.
So he technically killed thisperson.
Yeah, he took this person'slife because he was so drunk
that he couldn't control himself.
Well, I remember in the storyhe said he went back home that
night and he was sitting on theedge of the bed and his hands
were trembling because herealized that he just killed a
man, you know, and his hands arejust trembling.
And he, in his words.
(31:06):
He said I did not know how toask for help.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
That's what he said.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I did not know how to ask for help.
So what he did?
He just said God help me, Yep,and trusted God to know the rest
, the rest.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah Amen.
You know that gives me chills.
I get chills thinking aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
My dad is as far away from Christ as you can get,
even to this day, but he knewenough to know that.
He didn't know how to ask forhelp, but he knew who to ask and
I think that's and I'm notsaying that works every time,
but in that moment.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know, man, I think it might work every time
it might, it might.
Like I'm thinking about this.
I'm like I think every singletime I start prayer, I'm going
to say God help me, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Just help me and trust him to know the rest.
Just help me and trust him toknow the rest?
Yeah, because he already knowsthe rest.
Just trust him that he's goingto lead you and guide you.
That was 26 years ago.
26 years ago, my dad hadn'ttaken a drop.
This guy drank every day of hislife, from the time he was
probably 14 to 26 years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And all he said was God help me.
And he has never had the notsaying that, he's never had the
urge.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Because he does have the urge.
I quit drinking close to sixyears ago, but I still have the
urge.
I drink non-alcoholic beerbecause I love the taste of beer
.
I drink non-alcoholic whiskeybecause I love the taste of
whiskey, but it's justnon-alcoholic.
Now I can drink it withouthaving alcohol.
But do you think I could havedone that 30 days after I
(32:48):
decided not to drink it?
No, I couldn't have, because ifI were to drink that
non-alcoholic beer, I would havebeen like this, ain't it?
I had to grow stronger, but Ihad to trust Christ that he was
going to give me the strength Iquit dipping and smoking.
I dipped and smoked for I don'tknow.
I started when I was 13 yearsold and my daughter's 20, and
(33:11):
she asked me for her ninthbirthday.
She asked me to quit dippingand smoking.
I was like oh my gosh, whydidn't you ask for my Little
Pony or something you know?
Yeah.
Why didn't you ask for a PowerWheel?
Yeah.
She asked me to quit dippingand smoking.
Well, I quit, you know, becausemy daughter asked me to.
So I didn't know how to ask, Ididn't know what to do.
I just did it, you know, but Ijust.
When you said that I was likeman.
(33:32):
Two things flew into my mind.
Is that story about my dad, he?
He didn't know how to ask, buthe knew who to ask.
It's not about how, it's aboutwho.
And then I don't know how toask, where I'm supposed to be
right now, or if that's even thequestion that I'm supposed to
ask, but I know who.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
So that's the answer.
I think maybe God help me yeah,god help me, and then give me
the rest, yeah, so it's again.
Maybe we get so wrapped up inthe God side and trying to
understand the.
God side and the fixing it andall that and just understanding
(34:13):
that we're a human and we'rejust supposed to trust and obey.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
And he understands.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
He understands, he gets it.
He is God.
I'm pretty sure he understandsthe God side of it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, and now.
Next, I'm going to go back andread the garden scene, because
he might have said the samething he just said.
He may have said God help me.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah, you know, I don't know he might have, I
don't know.
I got to go back and read it.
That's great man.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I've read it a couple times, but now off the top of
my head, I can't remember if hedidn't say God help me that's
good, that's good, yeah.
So yeah, this has been fun.
You and I are going to talkagain soon.
We're going to talk about justsomething that builds off
relationship, our relationshipswith each other, our
(35:00):
relationships with the peoplearound us relationship with our
kids, something that had, againthat had occurred to you, popped
in your head, man, I don't knowI was driving back from Ole
Miss.
Just the stuff that happens.
So if you guys are interested,who are listening, to see what
in the world that might be,you're going to have to come
back next time.
So I appreciate you, chris.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Thanks for you, thanks for thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah, and uh, everyone, thanksfor joining us.
We'll see you next time, godbless.
Welcome to the my Friend the Friar podcast and
thanks for listening.
If you like my Friend the Friarand want to support us, please
consider subscribing orfollowing us.
If you haven't already done so,and if you found us on YouTube,
then don't forget to click thenotification bell when you
subscribe so you'll be notifiedof new episodes when they
release.
Thanks again and God bless.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm going to have a chord.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Is that working?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Bonus Bonus.
Thanks again and God bless.
Yeah, bonus, I don't rememberanything about those guys?
Me neither.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
That was fun.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, it was fun.
We were talking about the JonasBrothers.
There's a.
When we drive to Padre and wego to Padre, there's a Jonas
Brothers song.
I don't it's like I don'tremember the words or anything
like that, but when we'redriving over the bridge to get
to the island, that's what thekids want to play on the radio.
(01:09):
We roll the windows down andthey just jam that song all the
way over the bridge and it'slike the time that it takes to
see.
It's like perfect timing.
We start on the bridge.
They start it and we go overthe bridge and by the time we
get to the end of the bridge thesong's over.
So it's like that's so funny.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I don't know any jonas brother song.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah I couldn't tell you what it's called.
I couldn't, I, I could not singone lyric of it to you right
now.
I just know the, the, the beatof it you know, I hear it in
your brain that's all I know.
I mean, we can't hear thelyrics anyway, because the ocean
and the waves yeah, and windowsdown.
that's all you hear.
But I can hear the music and sothey love.
(01:46):
When we go to Padre and wedrive over the bridge, they like
listening to that that's funnyTo that song.
Where do y'all go?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Like South Padre.
Yeah, we go to.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
South Padre.
Yeah, we go Like we alternateour vacations.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
We go to South Pad padre and then we go on a cruise
, like every other year so, yeah, I've never been to south padre
, never been on a cruise either,but I grew up on like kind of
northern padre yeah, right, sooh, okay yeah, so going when I,
when I would go to padre, it's,it's not like south padre, it's
not, it's not, but you stillcross, you still cross a bridge
(02:23):
to get there.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And there's still salt water and it's hot.
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I know it's definitely hot.
We don't.
That's one of the things we do.
We don't go to the beach untilafter six o'clock at night,
really, oh yeah, we don't go tothe beach during the day.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
We just don't.
What do you do Again?
I've never been to South Pond.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Well, one, we play a lot of games in the condo.
We have a lot of games, we likegames.
We just hang out.
You know, take a lot of naps.
When I'm on vacation, I like tonap and we usually get a place
with a pool and the kids love togo in the pool.
Do y'all?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
like rent a house or Airbnb.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And it has a pool.
So we do that and then we lovethe local life around there.
Man, we go and there's a seaturtle rescue down there that
every time we go down there, weadopt a new sea turtle.
So I'm like, the parent of like10 sea turtles.
That's funny.
(03:27):
So, um, yeah, we do that.
And then, um, we love the fooddown there.
We spend a lot of money on food.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I love the like.
Yeah, that's so, cause growingup in in Corpus Christi is like
there's nothing nice aboutCorpus.
Yeah, like at all.
Everything is like that.
Yeah, like at all.
Everything is like that.
Everything is the washed outsun beet, salt beet kind of gray
tinge to like everything.
Yeah, but there's somethingabout the food.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Something about see, and I guess, growing up down
there, you would get there atsunrise and then you're out
there all day long just kind ofcooking, baking, yeah, and then,
and you might be fishing, oryou might just be swimming or
playing in the water orvolleyball or whatever but then
in the evening, because you'vebeen out there all day long you
go home, wash all the salt andthe sand and stuff off right,
get kind of de-crispy and youjust go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, it's just so good yeah kind of de-crispy and
uh, and you just go to sleep.
Yeah, it's just so good, yeah,and so that's, that's okay.
So one of the one of the thingsthat I love the most about
going to and being in the middleof the ocean on a cruise is one
of the things I do every timewe go is like, when it's like
two o'clock, 2 30 in the morning, there's nobody on the beach.
There's people out there,they're going crab hunting and
(04:44):
stuff like that, but it's notcrowded yeah and so I go out
there and I stand with my, withmy feet in the water, letting
the waves come up, and I justlook at the vastness of the
ocean and I just think, man, howsmall I am.
And just this little speck ofme and the vastness of the, the
(05:05):
universe, you know?
Yeah, and it's, I don't, Idon't know how to explain it,
but to me that's as close to Godas I've ever been.
I love going down there becauseand it's it's every time we go
and it's every night that we'rethere I'm there two, two, 33
o'clock in the morning and Istand out there and I just it
(05:27):
makes you realize how awesomeGod is.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
The beach at night or well, and when you're far
enough out and there's no lightpollution, like here in Dallas,
you can't see anything.
You can't see anything you cansee like three stars, exactly,
but at the beach at night, it'sjust everything is there.
Yeah, and it's crazy.
And that's not even like if youwent out in the middle of the
desert somewhere.
That's even more amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But yeah, we used to.
Every now and then we would dolike bonfires growing up and
stuff.
Well, like when I was in highschool, like our friends and
stuff, but going to the beach atnight it's quiet.
Going to the beach at nightit's quiet, it's like you're
saying it's not crowded you,just the sound of the waves
constantly.
But it's, you're right.
It's just vast and it's vast outin front of you and it's vast
(06:13):
above you and it's.
It does make you feel small,but it's.
It's one of those things whereit's, I guess, yeah, it makes
you it's like how awesome isthis universe we live in, that
God made this.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, right, and I always think too, like I don't
know the percentage or anythinglike that, but we have like
90-something percent of theocean is undiscovered, right,
like 90% of it.
We have no idea what's in there.
Yeah, but God does, let's getyour mic back a little bit, but
God does, yeah, god no ideawhat's in there?
Yeah, but God does let's getyour mic back a little bit but
(06:46):
God does.
Yeah, god knows exactly what'sin there, god knows everything.
And and it's just crazy that,no matter how much we try, as
humans, to understand God'screation, we just never will.
We just won't, can't do it, andI think it's okay.
But we get so wrapped up in,it's not okay, we have to, that
(07:08):
we forget about.
Just step back and enjoy it.
And that's one of the reasonswhy I go is because when I'm on
vacation, man, I don't worryabout nothing.
Dude, I really don't.
I don't get mad.
I can be in traffic on vacation,I'm okay, but if I get out here
on 35 right here, 635 righthere and I'm in traffic and I
turn into a sailor.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, you know, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
You know, but when I'm on the beach or I'm out
there and again, just being onthe because when you're on a
cruise, you can't turn aroundand see condos and all that yeah
, you see the cruise ship, butman, you're out there and every
time all the way around, thatcruise ship is just nothing but
ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Right, and it's just it's.
It's so awesome to realize thatthe same God this is why I say
I've never been closest to Godbeing out there the same God
that made all that, cared enoughto make me, cared enough to
mold me and breathe his lifeinto me so that I can be alive,
(08:16):
but he's still worried about allthat and me, this little speck
in this universe.
He cared enough to give me lifeand to be there every step of
the way, whenever I was hurtingand the pain that I was going
through and all the stuff thatI've been through in my life.
He was always there.
Even when I doubted him andeven when I didn't want him to
(08:36):
be there, he was still there andbeing something about being in
that ocean, man, it just itbrings that back, it brings it
all there.
And then, like during the day,we usually sit on the balcony
and we can see the ocean and thewaves come in, and it's so cool
(08:57):
to look at the waves on thebeach and and when they come in,
because they don't come in thesame length at every spot yeah,
some spots they come way in andthen some spots they barely come
in.
But it's the same beach.
Yep, you know, and I look atthat in my life like my life is
the same beach.
I've been living the same lifemy whole, but at different times
.
The waves and tides come in wayharder and way more vast and
(09:18):
way more, more more controlling,or whatever you want to call it
.
And then if I walk through thatand I continue on that beach,
you know, walk in the same wayat some point I'm going to get
to a point to where the wavesdon't come up so much, and then
I've got, I've got, I've got adecent amount of sand under my
feet to where I'm okay and I'mnot worried about those sucking
(09:38):
me back into the vastness of theocean, right?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And you know, I think I was telling you this last
time that I was reading anarticle, and we do this all the
time with each other.
I've read just this, like Iread a two-page article and I
remember a snippet of it right,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so one of these snippets ofthis article was the story about
the cow and the bull.
Right, oh, yeah, and so, um, acow, when it, when it, when it
(10:02):
knows the storm is coming, oh,the cow and the, the cow and the
buffalo.
Buffalo, not the cow and thebull, the cow and the buffalo.
When a cow knows the storm iscoming, it'll run away from the
storm, but it ends up being inthe storm longer because it's
trying to run away from it andit's actually running with it.
The buffalo sees the storm andthe buffalo runs right towards
it because he knows that if heruns towards that storm, on the
(10:24):
other side of it there's not astorm the storm's only going to
last so long yeahthat's kind of what I feel like
the the waves on the beach areis, if you just keep walking,
because if you, if you try to,if you turn around and start
walking into the ocean, what areyou going to do?
You're going to end up in theocean.
You're going to drown becauseyou're not a fish.
But if you walk that path, youjust keep walking that path
(10:45):
where that wave comes up, andthen you just keep walking.
Well, eventually that wave isgoing to come down and then
you're going to be on a partwhere there's not a wave.
And so that's just to me.
It shows the beauty of of God inour life and how, yeah, he's,
he's.
You're going to go through.
You're going to go through somestuff.
(11:05):
You're going to have some wavesand you're going to have some
storms and you're going to havehave some, some knockdown drag
outs with yourself.
You're going to have someknockdown drag outs with God.
But, man, when you get on theother side of that, if you're
willing, if you're willing tocome on the other side of that
and you're willing to use thatto propel you to who God really
(11:26):
wants you to be, man, it'spowerful.
It's powerful.
And again, we talked a littlebit about kids and how they
handle it and how adults handleit and how they handle it and
how adults handle it.
And you know, the older I get,the more I realize that it's the
battles that I've fought in mylife and the struggles and the
strifes that I've fought in mylife.
It makes it easy to enjoy thegood stuff, man.
(11:49):
It makes it easy to the good isgooder.
That's what I tell my kids.
The good is gooder, the good isgooder.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's what I tell my kids.
The good is gooder.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
And the good is good.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah With with with God man you ever just stand
there, um, right on the edge ofthe water where it's coming up
around your feet, and the sandis wet enough that you just
keeps kind of sinking down.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I love that man, I love that.
I love that man, I love that.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I love sinking in the sand and then you're like
fighting, trying to get up,because you can kind of shift
your feet back and forth andsink a little bit further until,
like you're saying, you got tolike pull your leg out or your
foot out.
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't been to the beach ingolly years.
We haven't been.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
We always have something going on and it's uh,
for for us, especially like mydaughter, because she's in band
and all these things there'salways something going on in the
summer, always something, andso we've just, we've, we've just
been neglecting it for so long,like making that time to relax
and to vacate.
I don't know how to vacatebecause you vacate when you
vacation, yeah, right, so, butyeah, we, we, I'm the same way.
I've got four kids and they allhave something to do and got
(13:02):
one in college and one aboutready to go to college and they
band and they wrestle and theirtheater and everything going on
but, you know, for the longestwe didn't take them on vacations
because we let those thingsdictate.
You know our lives.
And then at some I don'tremember when it was, it was
quite a few years back we werelike, look, we're going to at
least take a week.
(13:22):
And if you're going to miss awrestling tournament, if you're
going to miss a band concert, ifyou're going to miss something,
they're just going to have todeal with it.
Because the time that we maketogether I'm going to tell you
some of the best moments of mylife are driving to Padre,
because we play a game.
It's called ABC Improv and mydaughter was in theater and she
(13:42):
brought it to us, and so we taketurns coming up with the scene
and give each other charactersand give each other roles, and
we say action.
And then at the very beginningI'm usually the driver, so it
starts with me A.
So I have to come up with aline in the story as my
(14:02):
character with an A.
It has to start with.
A and the next person is B, andit has to just continue A, B, C,
D all the way through thealphabet.
You got to tell the story, andyou got to tell a story using
the alphabet, and some of thebest moments of my life are
those memories in that van andthose stories and the stuff that
(14:23):
my kids come up with with theletters that they're given, and
like Q, is one of the hardest.
Most of the time it's quiet,but it has to make sense in the
story.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
right, it's got to make sense in the story right,
it's gotta make.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It's gotta make sense in the story and it's like
quickly or quiet or somethinglike that.
But some I mean one of thetimes they yelled out quebec and
it's like it doesn't make anysense, but it's funny this is
funny and so, yeah, that's whywe we said, okay, you'll miss a
wrestling tournament yeah, thisis worth it.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
this, this is worth it, this is worth it, this is
worth it, this is worth it.
Man, it's funny.
I literally just got a speakingof my daughter and bands and
all that stuff.
I just got a message.
My daughter is now for hersenior year, will be the
drumline captain.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
For their percussion group.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That is awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So we're probably not doing anything this summer.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Because she's kind of Because she's captain yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
But, yeah, it definitely.
It makes you think it's likeit's such a good, it's such a
good lesson to learn from you inthat right there, because if
you don't make the time, it'sgoing to be gone, like she's
going to be senior, yeah, she'snot going to be a little girl
(15:39):
anymore, Right.
And so it's like everyopportunity should be met with
respect to how fleeting it is,right.
Yeah, because like you'll neverhave that moment again, never.
And so it's like watch myLittle Ponies for the 15th time.
Absolutely, it doesn't matter.
Watch it, right.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, because like you'll never have that moment
again Never, and so it's likewatch my Little.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Ponies for the 15th time.
Absolutely, it doesn't matter.
Watch it Right, stay up allnight long, knowing you got to
get up and go to work the nextday.
Whatever, do it, because you'renever going to have those
chances again.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
You're not.
And the hardest, one of thehardest things I ever had to do
is leave my daughter at Ole Miss, knowing that I'll never forget
the moment.
And I'm about to do it againhere in a couple of months
because I'm going to leave mysecond daughter at Ole Miss.
(16:30):
Thank God she chose Ole Misswith her older sister, right?
But I'm thinking in my headgoing back to that moment where
we spent the weekend with herand we moved her in and it was
exciting and it was awesome andit was.
I'm so proud of her, you know,and all this.
But I knew that I had to cherishevery moment there because I
knew that it was going to cometo an end and that Sunday
(16:52):
evening was coming and I knewthat we were going to have to
drive back and we were going tohave to leave and she had, uh,
there there's like this littlegroup, an empower group that she
joined, uh, to make friends,it's like a friend's group and
all that stuff and they hadsomething going on Sunday
evening and I so wanted to belike no, you're not going to
(17:14):
that group, this is, these arethe last hours that we have with
you.
You're not going to that group.
This is.
These are the last hours that wehave with you you're not going
to the group, yeah, but Iremember, distinctly remember,
and I'm hugging her and I gaveher a note that that, uh, I
wrote her and we're walking outof the, out of the dorm room and
, uh, we were all hungry, wehadn't eaten in a while, uh,
(17:34):
since lunch, and this wasprobably I don't know probably
around 5, 30, something likethat, and the student union was
still open.
And we're like man, the studentunion is still open.
They have, uh, um, chick-fil-ain the student union.
Let's go get something to eat.
Well, I ate panda express, butI remember going in there and
getting something to eat and Icouldn't eat.
I was crying, I couldn't eat myfood, but but God is so good.
(17:55):
God is so good Because I lookup on the balcony and I see my
daughter with her friend group.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh man, they're in the same place.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
They're there.
They went to the student unionand I got to see her being happy
and laughing and hanging out.
But God knew I needed that.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Nobody else knew I needed that, but God knew that I
needed to see her one more timebeing happy.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Because, as a dad, you leave them there and they're
like, oh, they're going to bemiserable and they're not going
to know what to do.
And but I was sitting there andI was, I had my head down and I
was trying to eat my noodlesfrom Panda and my teriyaki
chicken or whatever it was, andI kind of just leaned back in my
chair and I looked up and shewas on the second floor in a
(18:47):
balcony and she was smiling.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah, and it was like , oh, my baby's going to be okay
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
You know, and it was just, I knew it was God, I knew
he was just like, it's okay, Igot her.
You know, she's going to gothrough some, she's going to
have some hard times, somestuff's going to happen, you
know.
But I got her, you know, justtrust me, right, yeah, and so
there was just, it was good.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
There was this, so I listened to this other podcast,
pints with Aquinas, and mostpeople who listen to Catholic
podcasts know Pints with Aquinas.
It's really, really big and I'drecommend you go check it out
too.
Anyway, he was talking to thisone guy a few episodes ago and I
(19:34):
forget exactly what they weretalking about, but he's saying
he does this little thoughtexperiment and it stuck with me.
And the thought experiment wasthat if there was a time machine
that you could go into and itwould take you back and you'd be
able to see a moment in yourlife, right, yeah, but and I'm
(19:59):
probably messing this up too,but there's something about the
experiment to where, when you goback, it's not a pleasant
moment.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
So what if?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
like you really, really, really wanted to see
your wife right, like maybe shepassed away you know you're an
old man and stuff, so you canget in there and you can go back
, and but when you see your wifeit's not gonna be a good moment
.
Could you still be present inthat moment, like that's the
most beautiful, joyful moment ofyour life because you're
finally getting to see her again, kind of thing and so so, like
(20:30):
you know, we have these littlemoments, like you're saying with
your daughter right and andlike for me it's going to be
sitting out in a 112 degreefootball game high school, bad,
high school football, kind ofthing, right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And metal bleachers.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yep and so that kind of stuff.
But can you be in that momentand just be so joyful because
God is so good?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Right, Because even that moment you'll never get it
again.
Never Can you be in thatargument with your wife yeah,
and you'll never get it again,yeah.
So it's like, how do youapproach that moment, those
moments?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, and that's.
You know, when you said thatand you're thinking about going
back to a moment of like painand a moment of hurt or whatever
it is, and are you going to beokay in that moment, Are you
going to be happy in that moment, Well, let's think about Jesus
(21:26):
on the cross, that's one of theworst things, not one of.
It is the worst thing that'sever happened to a human being.
We literally killed God,literally killed God, right.
But we go back to it and wefind joy in it, we find
happiness in it, we find peaceand we find love and we find
mercy in it.
That's the single worst thingthat's ever happened and we find
the most love and the most joyand the most happy in it.
(21:47):
And it's not the fact that whathappened to him, it's the
reasoning by yeah, it's themeaning behind it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Why he did it and I'm sure he is like this is the
best.
Yeah, this is the greatestmoment of my life.
Exactly, you know he's up there.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You know he's saying God, why did you forsake me?
Or father, why'd you forsake me?
But in that same, in that samevoice and that same toner, the
same, that same sentence in hismind, he's like this is the
greatest thing to ever happen tothe world, yeah, Right.
And so he is finding joy andpeace.
Because it's not.
You know, yes, again, I'm goingto go back and say it again.
He didn't love us enough to diefor us.
(22:26):
He loved us enough to live forus.
Yeah, but we would have.
Jesus could have come and doneall his teachings and got all
his followers and all that stuff.
But if he never would have diedon the cross, what would it
have meant?
What would it have meant?
Yeah, it wouldn't have meantanything.
We'd have been just like thisis another dude talking about
how.
But it wasn't just him dying ona cross, because, yeah, two
(22:48):
people died on a cross next tohim.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, but it's what he did afterwards.
You know the actor, shiaLaBeouf, yeah, so he actually
just joined the Catholic Churchrecently and I saw this thing
where he was sitting there justkind of contemplating and he was
thinking about Jesus on thecross and he's like, and I look
up at his face and I think, isthat a joyful man?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
that.
I see there yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Right, is he joyful?
And it's such a weird thingright to think about?
Because yeah, he's.
Obviously he was way beat upyeah.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I can tell you.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
He wasn't feeling joyful.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, his physically he wasn't joyful because he was
beating up again, the singleworst thing that's ever happened
.
And so when you think aboutgoing back and and you know my
wife and I have had plenty ofarguments and we've had plenty
of situations you know I spokeearlier on the podcast.
I had an affair and I got ababy with another woman that
calls my wife mommy and loves mywife and my wife.
(23:48):
That's my wife's daughter, nother stepdaughter, that's her
daughter.
You know, and we've discussedthis several times, just you and
I about you know, but I canthink back before they had that
relationship.
The thought of that child mademy wife mad, it upset her
because it brought her.
Every time she thought of hershe didn't.
And it's not that she blamed mydaughter, it's not that she
(24:13):
blamed her, but every time shethought of my daughter, our
daughter I can't say my daughterevery time she thought of our
daughter, she would think ofthat moment of how bad I hurt
her.
She saw the hurt in what I didto her, but she never took it
out on our daughter.
She would think of that momentof how bad I hurt her.
She saw the hurt in what I didto her, but she never took it
out on our daughter.
She always loved our daughter,but now she's past that.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think God does that a lot in our lives.
Yeah Right, if you don't know,you don't the if you've existed,
the deeper in the darknessyou've ever been.
Like you know the light, allthe more Right.
So, so it's like you can thinkback at your, your most sinful
(24:56):
moments and in those moments weshould be able to draw like.
We should be able to see jesusin those moments and and be so
thankful for him right like Iwould not be in the place I am
today if it wasn't for christ'slove in my most sinful moments.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
And so those not that we should ever be proud, or
whatever of the things thatwe've done.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, that's not what it's about.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But we should always be able to see our salvation
occurring in our worst moments.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I love how you put that See our salvation in our
worst moments.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I love how you put that See our salvation in our
worst moments, because that'sthe cross when I'm doing that
thing that I should have neverbeen doing.
That's Jesus on the cross, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
That's literally why he did it.
It's to take that away.
It's to say it's mine now.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yep, yeah, he took on sin.
Who knew no sin, right?
Yeah, and it's my sin, are thenails holding him on that thing?
Yeah and so, yeah, it isdefinitely something to think of
and like that's not easy.
No, right, there is a lot ofhealing that has to happen for
(26:21):
somebody to be able to see jesusin their most sinful moments
but you can't heal without beinghurt, correct you have to be
hurt to heal.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, he took all the hurt.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
He, he, he, he hurt more than any of us yeah, yeah,
yeah, there's healing is a veryinteresting thing to me, and
Christ healing us is a veryinteresting thing to me.
It's something I think about alot and I'm not very good at
articulating all my thoughts andstuff.
(26:56):
But it is interesting to me howI don't think we even know how
to ask for healing.
Oh man, you know what I mean.
So it's like I've done thisthing, I'm wounded, I need
(27:20):
healing in this.
I don't even know how toarticulate my pain, I don't even
know how to ask for help, Idon't even know how to know that
I need healing.
But it's there and this is inall aspects of our life, all
aspects of our relationship,relationships, everything.
(27:41):
It's all there.
And so you know, I guess God inhis goodness, something will
happen and the little light bulbturns on and you're like, oh
yeah, I'm kind of messed up inthis thing, yeah Right, but even
at that it's hard to take thatto prayer, and you and I were
(28:01):
talking about prayer.
The other day because prayer hasto be this, not a monologue.
It has to be a dialogue.
You have to both speak andlisten to God and you have to
spend that time with him.
And what is it that producesthe healing?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
right.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Because I can understand a Band-Aid or
medicine or something like that.
I take this thing.
This thing makes me better.
I have surgery and the surgerymakes me better.
I can understand all that kindof stuff right, but I can't
quite comprehend what it is andthink how beautiful that is.
(28:41):
The nearer I draw to God, themore he heals me, right.
So it's like I have to be inrelationship with Him, I have to
draw close to Him, I have tospend time with Him, I have to
experience Him for that healingto take place.
But I can't articulate what themechanism is that heals me,
it's just His love.
Yeah, and maybe that's somethingto contemplate.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
When have you ever been loved?
When you're at your worst andyou go.
I don't deserve this, butthere's something about it that
it makes you better.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Yeah, and I love when you say you don't know how to
ask for it.
You know you're in something,but you don't even understand
what.
You're in enough to understandhow to ask to get out of it.
Yeah Right, you're just somessed up.
It's kind of where I'm at now.
And I'm not saying that I'mjust so lost and backslidden
(29:40):
from Christ.
It's just I don't even know howto ask God where to put me,
because I don't know where Ibelong.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You know, and that's what hit me.
So, so much is when you saidthat I was like I don't know how
to ask God, where to put me,and I don't even know if I'm
supposed to ask God where to putme.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
How am I supposed to know what I'm not supposed to
know?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
But one of the stories again an experience in
my life is my dad was a ragingalcoholic growing up and I
remember the moment that he thestory that he tells you know
about him stopping drinking.
And I know my dad's not goingto care me sharing this story
because he wants, he's literallytold me to share this story
(30:25):
with because I'm an alcoholic aswell and I quit drinking.
So he wants me to share thisstory.
So I know he's not going tocare.
He was in a bar and he got intoa fight and he choked a guy to
where the guy passed out and theguy they literally had to do
CPR on the guy to bring the guyback to life Dang.
So he out.
And the guy they literally hadto do cpr.
(30:45):
And a guy to bring the guy backto life dang.
So he technically killed thisperson.
Yeah, he took this person'slife because he was so drunk
that he couldn't control himself.
Well, I remember in the storyhe said he went back home that
night and he was sitting on theedge of the bed and his hands
were trembling because herealized that he just killed a
man, you know, and his hands arejust trembling.
And he, in his words.
(31:06):
He said I did not know how toask for help.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
That's what he said.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I did not know how to ask for help.
So what he did?
He just said God help me, Yep,and trusted God to know the rest
, the rest.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah Amen.
You know that gives me chills.
I get chills thinking aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
My dad is as far away from Christ as you can get,
even to this day, but he knewenough to know that.
He didn't know how to ask forhelp, but he knew who to ask and
I think that's and I'm notsaying that works every time,
but in that moment.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know, man, I think it might work every time
it might, it might.
Like I'm thinking about this.
I'm like I think every singletime I start prayer, I'm going
to say God help me, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Just help me and trust him to know the rest.
Just help me and trust him toknow the rest?
Yeah, because he already knowsthe rest.
Just trust him that he's goingto lead you and guide you.
That was 26 years ago.
26 years ago, my dad hadn'ttaken a drop.
This guy drank every day of hislife, from the time he was
probably 14 to 26 years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And all he said was God help me.
And he has never had the notsaying that, he's never had the
urge.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Because he does have the urge.
I quit drinking close to sixyears ago, but I still have the
urge.
I drink non-alcoholic beerbecause I love the taste of beer
.
I drink non-alcoholic whiskeybecause I love the taste of
whiskey, but it's justnon-alcoholic.
Now I can drink it withouthaving alcohol.
But do you think I could havedone that 30 days after I
(32:48):
decided not to drink it?
No, I couldn't have, because ifI were to drink that
non-alcoholic beer, I would havebeen like this, ain't it?
I had to grow stronger, but Ihad to trust Christ that he was
going to give me the strength Iquit dipping and smoking.
I dipped and smoked for I don'tknow.
I started when I was 13 yearsold and my daughter's 20, and
(33:11):
she asked me for her ninthbirthday.
She asked me to quit dippingand smoking.
I was like oh my gosh, whydidn't you ask for my Little
Pony or something you know?
Yeah.
Why didn't you ask for a PowerWheel?
Yeah.
She asked me to quit dippingand smoking.
Well, I quit, you know, becausemy daughter asked me to.
So I didn't know how to ask, Ididn't know what to do.
I just did it, you know, but Ijust.
When you said that I was likeman.
(33:32):
Two things flew into my mind.
Is that story about my dad, he?
He didn't know how to ask, buthe knew who to ask.
It's not about how, it's aboutwho.
And then I don't know how toask, where I'm supposed to be
right now, or if that's even thequestion that I'm supposed to
ask, but I know who.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
So that's the answer.
I think maybe God help me yeah,god help me, and then give me
the rest, yeah, so it's again.
Maybe we get so wrapped up inthe God side and trying to
understand the.
God side and the fixing it andall that and just understanding
(34:13):
that we're a human and we'rejust supposed to trust and obey.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
And he understands.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
He understands, he gets it.
He is God.
I'm pretty sure he understandsthe God side of it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, and now.
Next, I'm going to go back andread the garden scene, because
he might have said the samething he just said.
He may have said God help me.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah, you know, I don't know he might have, I
don't know.
I got to go back and read it.
That's great man.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I've read it a couple times, but now off the top of
my head, I can't remember if hedidn't say God help me that's
good, that's good, yeah.
So yeah, this has been fun.
You and I are going to talkagain soon.
We're going to talk about justsomething that builds off
relationship, our relationshipswith each other, our
(35:00):
relationships with the peoplearound us relationship with our
kids, something that had, againthat had occurred to you, popped
in your head, man, I don't knowI was driving back from Ole
Miss.
Just the stuff that happens.
So if you guys are interested,who are listening, to see what
in the world that might be,you're going to have to come
back next time.
So I appreciate you, chris.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Thanks for you, thanks for thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yeah, thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah, and uh, everyone, thanksfor joining us.
We'll see you next time, godbless.
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