Witnessing Resilience: An Evolution Across Borders | Ft. Asifa Popal Ep 035 - My Thick Accent

Episode Transcript
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Asifa (00:00):
The first day I remember when I grabbed a couple of
things that I wanted to buy,brought them to the cashier and
the cashier was like your totaladds up to this much.
My total.
What is total?
Like I didn't understand thecause of this.
In India they said total, thepronunciation and accent

(00:21):
everything was different.
What does he mean by total?
What is total in this?
That's just a juice and some.
There's no total in here.
That was really funny.

Gurasis (00:43):
So in this episode, we'll delve into the theme of
resilience and the pursuit ofnew beginnings which lies at the
heart of our podcast.
The story of our guest today isa testament to the human
spirit's ability to overcomeobstacles and embrace change.
Born in Afghanistan and laterventuring into India than Canada
and now US, she embodies theessence of cultural diversity

(01:06):
and the experiences that comewith living across different
geographies.
Let's learn more from her, asshe shares her insights,
experiences and wisdom gainedfrom a life shaped by diverse
cultures and the pursuit of newbeginnings.
Please welcome Asifa.

Asifa (01:24):
Hi everyone, thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
It's going to be a fun timetogether with my stories.

Gurasis (01:32):
Absolutely Very excited to talk to you.
Thank you for coming to thepodcast.
So, asifa, let me start byasking you which I asked most of
my guests that what's this onehabit you adopted that has
changed your life?

Asifa (01:44):
The one habit that I have adopted is keep adjusting to
new life.
I love change.
I always make changes in mylife and adjusting to those
changes, adjusting to new life,that's the habit that I'm proud
of.

Gurasis (02:00):
Definitely.
I think that's the theme of mypodcast as well to embrace
change and embrace living inthis new world, for sure.
Okay, so let me take you backto the time we spent in
Afghanistan, particularly inKabul, i believe, where you were
born.
Yes, tell us a little bit aboutyour native years, and how was
it like just growing up there?

Asifa (02:19):
Okay, just to give you a little bit of a brief background
about Afghanistan.
It's a war zone, most of thetime There was war going on all
the time, So my childhood was inwar, but it was not so bad
because we lived in Kabul.
It was the capital.
It was a cold war at a timebetween Russia and the US and

(02:43):
our country was affected as well, But we were not so much
worried because the capital,Kabul, was safer And I had a
happy childhood.
I was born in a middle-classfamily.
There was a lot of form, loveand entertainment every weekend,

(03:03):
which included Hindi, watchingHindi movies every week
religiously That's why it's inmy memory all the time And we
learned Hindi language.
It was a fun time we had.
And then civil war broke out inAfghanistan and we had to leave
Afghanistan.
We moved to India And in Indiawe were like now we are experts

(03:28):
in Hindi language and now wewill not have any problem, And
we were excited to be in acountry that we always dream to
see, because we were watchingmovies and we always wished to
see the movie stars plays, Indiaand Mumbai.
So now we are finally in India.

(03:48):
We were really excited to be inIndia And, yeah, that was like
a brief information about myjourney from Afghanistan to
India.

Gurasis (03:56):
And what city did you guys go to in India?
New Delhi, new Delhi, okay.
And what was like, would yousay, the most amusing or like an
interesting cultural differenceyou encountered while when you
first arrived in India?

Asifa (04:13):
Indian culture is a little bit similar to our
culture.
But in India it was a differentenvironment.
People are very social, warm.
It was like easy to adjust tothat culture.
For me It was not a bigcultural shock.
They call it And I was alreadyfamiliar with the culture a
little bit from the movies.

(04:34):
But they were not familiar withmy culture.
So I had to kind of teach myfriends this, where I'm coming
from And this is our culture,this is me And this is my family
, and it was a pleasantexperience.
I loved the weather, the food,the social life.
I didn't hear the worddepression in India at all And

(04:58):
my eight years I lived there.
I never heard this worddepression because it didn't
exist.
I didn't see it.
So it didn't exist.
Maybe there is some, but Ididn't see it.
But when I came to Canada forthe first time I heard the word
depression that I was notfamiliar with.
So that experience in India isa pleasant experience.

Gurasis (05:21):
There could also be possibility.
That isn't it in here the worddepression, because maybe like a
decade ago or maybe more thanthat, the word depression was
itself a taboo.
Like you cannot say the worddepression If somebody says that
maybe the person is sick.
That was how it was kind ofsignified.
So but but I think at the sametime understand the point you're

(05:42):
coming from there.
Yes, in general in India peopletry to, you know, live together
, the families live together,they celebrate together, they
have some of the other thingslike every weekend planned, i
think.
Sometimes I remember my auntsand uncles would come randomly
in the evening, you know, knockour doors and come and sit with
us and have dinner sometimes andnothing is scheduled there.

(06:03):
That could be the case.

Asifa (06:04):
It doesn't happen anywhere.
Yeah, it happened in.
India.
And yes, i can understand alsobecause at the time there was no
phone or anything.
So so people just randomly showup and knock and you're like,
hey, they call it unexpectedguest here.
but it was like a surprise forus and we would always be happy

(06:26):
to see someone randomly, andthat was a something in India
also.
That's what my friends would do.
They would just come.
We didn't have cell phone atthe time.
We had one phone at home, butthere was no cell phone.
So they would just show up andthen they would be like okay, do
you want to study together?
Do you want to go for a movie?
But to my surprise, inAfghanistan we were watching

(06:48):
Hindi movies.
But when I came to India,indians were interested more in
American movies.
So in India a weekend we weregoing to watch American movies,
not Indian movies.
That was like it was a littlebit funny because we were
watching Hindi movies likeregularly, on a daily basis, but

(07:08):
then, like on the weekends, wewould go watch American movies,
because Indians like Americanmovies a lot.
And yeah, it was.
it was a very great experiencethat I had.

Gurasis (07:22):
I think it all depends which part of India you live in
or you go to, i think.
I think, for example, if youcome go from the Northwest and
power where I come from, punjab,we might watch more Hindi and
Punjabi movies.
But then I think the place youwere living in was one of like
the metropolitan cities, right,and they were very much
influenced by the not influencedbut exposed to the western

(07:45):
culture a little more than theother cities, i would say.
So that could be the reasonsyou are watching the American
movie.

Asifa (07:51):
Yeah, it could be because people were speaking like half
English, half Hindi as well.
There was not a hundred percentHindi.
So yeah, you're right.

Gurasis (07:59):
And if you could like go back, i see fun live like one
memory from your childhood,maybe in Afghanistan or India.
Which one it would be and why?

Asifa (08:08):
the only one memory that I am always, that I would always
remember, was this familyconnection.
family connection we had inAfghanistan and the same thing
in India.
So, like here, you have to getto know the person for a long

(08:30):
time and before you getconnected and be friendship and
any kind of relationship.
But over there it's not likethat.
You just meet the person, youopen up The person opens up to
you and you open up to them, andthen your friends, your family.

(08:50):
That's the only memory that Ialways keep from my channel.
It happened to me most of mychildhood in Afghanistan and
India.
I didn't see a big difference.
It was easy to make friends inboth places.

Gurasis (09:05):
Okay, yeah, i think I can also kind of think of the
same thing.
Like I come from a family wherewe were 15 people living in the
same house.
I would love to go back andexperience that again, just that
, having so many people aroundin, so many like positivity
around you, i think I would sayI kind of miss that.
So, moving on, let's just pivottowards talking about your move

(09:28):
to Canada and immigratingitself to a new country is a
challenge, and you and yourfamily were doing it for the
second time.
So the last little bit aboutthat then why did you guys
decide to do that and how wasthat whole process for you like?

Asifa (09:41):
Yes, it was a fun process In India.
we lived there for about eightyears.
but it's very, very hard to getIndian citizenship And if you
don't have, Indian citizenship,you're not allowed to work And
there's a lot of things that youcannot do in India.
So that was the only problem wehad, and you could go back to

(10:02):
Afghanistan, because there waswar going on.
And this is why we applied to aCanadian embassy and we
explained the situation.
We got accepted.
The process took about twoyears And this is how we got our
permanent residency while wewere in India for Canada and we

(10:25):
moved to Canada, So that was theother ways I would have stayed
there.
I remember talking about memorybefore.
The only pleasant.
It's also a pleasant memorythat I have from India is that I
had a lot of experience in thepast.
I participated in a beautycontest in New Delhi because I

(10:46):
was a model And I made it up tosemi-final And then somebody
complained and then said she'snot an Indian citizen.
What is she doing?
Oh no.
So I was like sad andfrustrated first but then I was

(11:07):
like no, that's okay, becauseshe's right.
She has absolutely the right tobe in this contest, but I don't
have citizenship, so I'm notrepresenting Indian beauty.
It's going to be from anothercountry.
So she's absolutely right.
She's absolutely right And Ididn't mind it.

(11:32):
So that was a great experience.
The excitement of rehearsal andgetting ready for the contest
and going through this process,that process, meeting new people
, taking pictures and all thatwas like great memory.
But I'm still grateful that atleast they gave me that

(11:53):
opportunity to join it, toparticipate in that contest,
because I was a teenager I waslike 19 years old at the time
and that was the only thing thatI was so bad.
If it didn't happen it will beeven worse, but they let me join
it, they let me participate it,and if later on it didn't

(12:14):
happen.
It was for the right reason.
So I had the excitement to doit at a time, but now that I
have Canadian citizenship Ididn't have that excitement.
I could have participated inany beauty contest in Canada,
but I didn't have that passionanymore.
It was only there in India andat a time, and I'm grateful that

(12:38):
they gave me the opportunity toparticipate.
So that was the reason we hadto leave India and move to
Canada.

Gurasis (12:47):
And just for my knowledge and for my listeners
also.
So we talk a lot about Canadianimmigration coming to Canada
and all that.
Literally, I think I amcompletely alien to the Indian
immigration system.
So if you can educate a littlebit that, how did that work?
Like were you on a certain visain India, How did that work?

Asifa (13:08):
Yes, we were getting visa through United Nations, so
there was a United Nationsoffice in India.
Yes, you're right, they won'tlet you stay for a long time in
India.
Every country is like that.
You have to have a reason forstaying.
It has to be investment orbusiness or education or

(13:31):
something.
But we didn't have any of that.
So every family that gets outfrom a war zone and they come to
India, they would help them getthe visa and tell the Indian
government that the reason forour stay in India is because we

(13:52):
cannot go back to.
Afghanistan.
There's not going on inAfghanistan.
and this is how we were gettingvisa, for one year, i believe,
and then every year we wouldrenew it.
So every year Indian governmentwould be like, okay, so how is
everything now?
Can they go back to Afghanistanor not?

(14:13):
And then the Indian and theUnited Nations would be like no,
another year.
So this is how we were gettingour visa.

Gurasis (14:23):
And so you were studying there.
But your parents, how are theyworking?
You're allowed to work on thatvisa that you get.

Asifa (14:30):
No, that was the problem.
We were not allowed to workbecause if you're not an Indian
citizen, you're not allowed towork.
I am in the United States rightnow.
I am waiting for my green cardand I'm not working right now.
So I have my health coachingbusiness, which is kind of
global.

Gurasis (14:52):
And.

Asifa (14:53):
I can do that, but I'm not allowed to work here in the
United States because I'm not anAmerican citizen and I don't
even have a green card.
So it's the rule in everycountry, and India was the same.
We were not allowed to work,but I guess we could open a
business.
But we didn't do that.
My father was like old at thetime and he was retired.

(15:15):
He was a businessman all hislife.
He had an important exportbusiness with Germany, from
Afghanistan to Germany.
But at the time when we livedin India, he was not in a
condition It should work, itshould work And it got held to
start over another business.

(15:36):
So that's why we couldn't work.

Gurasis (15:41):
Sorry, i'm prompting again.
My question is how are youmaking a living then?
Like for eight years you guyswere living there.

Asifa (15:47):
Yeah, my father would sell our properties in
Afghanistan.

Gurasis (15:50):
Oh, okay.

Asifa (15:51):
We would sell our property in Afghanistan and
bring money to India because wewere kids.
My brother was a teenager Whenwe came to India.
We were like 14, 15.
And my mom, of course, was ahousewife.
My father was retired, Sothat's what my father was doing
He was selling our properties inAfghanistan and then would

(16:16):
spend it in India.

Gurasis (16:19):
So let's just go back to the time when you finally
moved to Canada.
I believe it was in 2001, whenyou first finally decided to
move.
Tell us about your first day.
What were your initialimpressions or emotions?

Asifa (16:31):
A lot of excitement because now we found a second
home.
So we lost our first home,which was Afghanistan, and we
were like temporarily living inIndia.
But now it was our second homeand we knew that we would get
our citizenship in here, wewould start our new life in here
and we will be living herepermanently.

(16:53):
And we were like we speak thelanguage.
That's another good thing.
We will not have any problem.
But the first day I rememberwhen I grabbed a couple of
things that I wanted to buy,brought them to the cashier and
the cashier was like you'retotal adds up to this much And

(17:19):
my total what is total?
I don't understand because ofthe total In India I don't
remember really.
It's different.
They said total something, butthen the pronunciation and
accent, everything was different.
He's like what is he mean bytotal?

(17:39):
What is total in this?
That's just a juice and there'sno total in here.
It was really funny.
It was my first day in Canadabecause I see how big a
difference was between.

Gurasis (17:52):
Yeah.

Asifa (17:54):
But then at the back of my head, maybe his English is
not good because there's a lotof immigrants in Canada.
I like that.
We heard that there's a lot ofimmigrants in Canada, but that
was not the case.
I was not right.
I was not wrong because Ilearned it in a different
country and he was not wrong,but I thought it was his English

(18:15):
that was bad, not mine.

Gurasis (18:19):
That's funny.
I remember you also saying thatEnglish was your fourth
language.
Your native language was that,which is very similar to Farsi,
i believe It's just a differentdialect, and then you also
learned Pashto and then Urdu.
So tell us a little bit moreabout your experiences with the
languages in Canada.

Asifa (18:39):
Yeah, absolutely So.
My mother tongue is Pashto Andat home we were speaking Pashto,
but I was born in Kabul.
The main language in Kabul isPersian.
We call it Dari.
It's a different dialect ofPersian.

Gurasis (18:59):
Okay.

Asifa (19:00):
That's spoken in Iran.
So I was learning Dari atschool And so, as I grew up, i
learned these two languagestogether at the same time, and
when we came to India, of courseI learned Hindi or Urdu, they
call it, so I learned thatlanguage.

(19:22):
And then in Canada, so I waslearning Hindi and English at
the same time in India, and thenwhen we went to Canada, it was
just English.
I just focused on my English,which made it my fourth language
that I was trying to learnproperly.

Gurasis (19:44):
Yeah, And are there any misunderstandings that might
have happened?
Of course you shared one ofthese and I'll give you an
example with me.
If for me it was always withthe rolling of Rs, for example,
in India we say work not work,we say birth not birth, or we
say turbo not turbo, there's adifference in the Rs.

(20:06):
Probably This is one of theexperiences which I experienced.
Another thing was with somevocabulary, for example the word
deceased.
In my mind I thought it meansfinished, it's completed.
In my mind, that's what Ithought.
I was working at a call centeronce and I was used to code the
calls at the end, to mark it ascomplete or they're not complete

(20:28):
, or various other options werethere And I kept on marking the
calls deceased, deceased,deceased because in my mind I
thought the calls are completed,they are done.
And then my manager called meafter a few minutes and he said
so in the past one hour you havemarked 15 calls deceased.
Are you saying that you couldnot speak to 15 people because
they are dead?
I said no.
In my mind, i thought it meansthey're completed.

(20:49):
So did you have?
do you remember any suchanecdotes, any such instances,
maybe in your school, anythingthat you can think of.
You were telling me about yourexperiences in the class right
Difficult to understand theprofessor sometime.

Asifa (21:04):
Yes, yes, because it was a different dialect and accent
and I will be focusing a lot andthen to understand.
It took me like one year tolearn English, for, first of all
, not learn English, but justthe basic, before I got to a

(21:28):
university.
And at the university I hadthis problem and then sometimes
I would just go to sleep because, because when you focus on
something so much, it's me, idon't know, i just I just go to
sleep.
So I just got to sleep becauseof I was because I was focusing
so much on trying to understandand I was reading a lot and I

(21:50):
started reading a lot and, yeah,so from reading you, you
understand very well.
And another problem was that Iwas not speaking a lot with
people, it was just listening tothe lecture and reading.
And for a long time I was like,even now I'm still struggling
when I'm speaking, because,because now the thing is that I

(22:16):
speak all four language kind ofthe same time, like during the
day.
I have Indian friends in here,i have friends from Kabul, very
speak friends, so I can speakall languages simultaneously on

(22:36):
regular basis every week, everyday.
So maybe that's not letting mefocus on just one language and,
and become like like 100% fluentin that language.
You know, so it's all yeah fromthis language to this.
Switching from one language toanother could be that it's.

Gurasis (22:58):
It's also about what language you think in.
Right, like lots time peoplesay, oh, i think in a certain
language, but I can'tcommunicate in the same is that
the case with you as well?

Asifa (23:08):
exactly, yes, yes, so I always think in in Pashto and
sometimes.
But then I also took someFrench classes in India, and one
thing I learned about from themis that they say learn French
from French, with French.

(23:28):
Yeah, you don't translate yourlanguage in French.
Learn French in French that'sthe one thing.
So now I'm still struggling withthat.
So I think in Pashto and I kindof speak in Pashto in my mind
and then translate that inEnglish, which is not the right

(23:53):
way, and I've been telling thisto everyone who's trying to
learn a second language or thirdlanguage just forget about what
.
Forget about your own language.
Learn the new language in thatlanguage.
So English in English.
This is how you will perfect it.
So, but I'm still strugglingwith it sometimes because it's a

(24:15):
habit, it's childhood, it wasmy mother thing and I was
thinking and speaking in thatlanguage, and but now I know but
I think it's also the effortthat counts.

Gurasis (24:26):
You know, you just trying to learn that fourth
language.
I think that's commendable.
And then there are people herewho sometimes even question your
languages or your accents.
Right, like, especially like inCanada.
When I came, people wouldquestion and but they don't see
that we are literally speakingour third language.
For example, i speak Hindi,punjabi and then the English.
Okay, so see, if I just give itto words.

(24:50):
A little bit about the culturaldifferences, cultural shock, so
to say.
So was there, like any, themost interesting cultural
difference that you encounteredwhen you first arrived in Canada
?
I'll give you, like my example,that for me the biggest culture
shock was calling my professorsby their name, because in India
we always say sir, our ma'am.

(25:11):
So do you remember any of those?

Asifa (25:14):
yes, yes, i'm not noticed that, but I remember that now.
Yeah, i wasn't feelingcomfortable calling my professor
by name, because it was thesame.
Yeah, i'm in India and I'vebeen doing one for a long time
and I came to Canada and therewas like a different, completely
different culture and whatshould I call it unpleasant or

(25:36):
ugly?
ugly memory that I have in inCanada is that we were still
learning, and I think I waslearning English.
It was English class or mathclass.
Yes, it was our math class, forI was preparing for my
university, so we had an examand the exam was a little bit

(26:01):
hard.
So, of course, all exams arehard and we are all working on
this paper.
We're still writing the exam.
And then one guy, a Canadianguy, got up and he took the
paper, the exam paper, and heslammed it on the paper on the
table where our teacher wassitting okay because he was mad,

(26:23):
because he was like why did youmake this exam so complicated?
so he no really took the paperand then he, boom, slammed it on
the table and I lookedeverybody else looked what's
going on.
I was like that's a little bit,i mean disrespect to the
teacher, you know to me I wasstill learning about adjusting

(26:47):
and learning about the culture.
Maybe it's not make it's justhim.
He just showed who he was andhow he felt in the exam yeah
maybe he was right, maybe theexam was complicated for that
level, i don't know.
But then I'm not judging him,i'm not saying that what he did
was wrong, but to me it was acultural shock.

(27:10):
You know, that was like acultural shock and it was only
because at the time I was, ithought it was ugly, because I
was like you always respect yourteacher, parents, you always
respect them, you like, whateverproblem you have, you you say,
with respect, you know.
So that was that was funny.

(27:30):
And then the professor, justthe teacher, just smiled and we
went ahead with the exam so okay, yeah, this reminds me that I
also noticed.

Gurasis (27:42):
Another thing very similar to this was actually
getting heads on with theteacher in a class, like being
able to debate.
That is not something I thinkwe were able to do in India, but
here people were very casuallydebating no, like even the
saying the word no.
I don't agree with you, i don'tagree the way you are saying
this.
We just cannot, we just couldnot say that in India yeah, yeah

(28:07):
, yeah, that's right.

Asifa (28:08):
Yeah, so these are the chances that I was always
experiencing at school, at theuniversity, and then also, the
students will just leave theclass before the class ended,
which was.
I was okay with that because Iwas like, in our culture, you

(28:29):
have to sit at, sit till theclass is finished, even if you
have to go out there.
You could be some reason thatyou want to go out.
It could be a phone call.
It could be that you're notfeeling good.
You know you're allowed to doany time, or maybe you have an
appointment, you know.
But if it's going to cause aproblem it will be your problem,

(28:52):
not not a teacher's problem,you know.
But then I would see in theclass people leaving before the
class was ended.
I was like, do not supposed to,because the the professor would
get mad if we leave the classbefore it's ended.
That's how it was inAfghanistan.
So there were a lot of thingsthat we were just observing,

(29:14):
that I would just observe, andthen I just do it, learn about
it and justify it.
So that was a fun experience.
And the same thing with America, and even in America here there
are being some thingsdifferently than Canada.
So I'm all now I have becomeexpert in adjusting, starting a

(29:38):
new life.
So that's what I have beendoing all my life almost okay,
so, speaking of which, tell usthat.

Gurasis (29:49):
How has your, this multicultural background
influenced your sense ofidentity?
how do you define that?

Asifa (29:59):
to a great extent.
I just feel that I'm nobody andI'm proud of saying that before
I was holding to a to a to a toan identity.
Oh here, i'm, afghan, i am, i'ma student, and this and that
and the dollar of so-and-so inIndia, i was like it was a

(30:24):
different.
It was like now I'm, i'm, i'm asofa, i am doing this where I'm
from Afghanistan, adjusting tothis life, and in Canada I came
to Canada.
Now I'm like in Canadian now.
So I'm Afghan Canadian, notCanadian Canadian, but Afghan
Canadian.
That was my identity, kind ofyou know.

(30:45):
And now here in the US, what Icall myself Afghan Canadian
American, because I'm soon goingto get my green card.
I got buried here a year ago,so now I'm at the point that I
don't want any identity.
I am, i'm a free spirit.

(31:10):
I'm experiencing life in everyplace, in every country, but it
doesn't, whatever the time.
Experience is not me.
That's my experience and therewill be more experience, more
experience.
I cannot be, everything.

(31:32):
And now I'm more spiritual.
I'm learning from sad guru.
He's very famous in the stickand he talks about it.
He's like detach your, youridentity, your body, from you
are.
Who you are is not what youlook like.

(31:53):
Who you are is not yourphysical body.
Who you are is a differentthing.
It's your spirit, it's yoursoul.
So so now, with all theseidentities, i wanted to become a
lawyer.
I want to become a lawyer.
I was studying criminal law.
Yeah, i want to become.
I want to become this, i wantto become this.

(32:15):
But now I just want to becomeAsafa.

Gurasis (32:19):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great answer.
I like the way how you put itthat all these experiences have
made you and you are Asafabecause of all these experiences
.
You are not Asafa because notyou are need to be identified
with a certain nationality orsomething.
I like that.
I like the way you are thinking.

Asifa (32:39):
That's what I'm thinking Yes, yes, i'm not looking for
any identity anymore, i'mlooking for experience.
So my identity is known now.
It's just Asafa and I haveborrowed this body from our
mother earth and I'mexperiencing life with the tool

(33:02):
that I have, which is my body,and this is what I have learned
from Sadguru.
So this is life is all aboutexperience.
All experience, joy, anythingthat sadness, sorrow, all
experience, just experience it,just keep experiencing it.

(33:22):
I never say I'm sad because I'ma soul.
I'm not Asafa, i'm a happyperson.
I'm not sad.
Sadness is just experience.
You know, becoming a lawyer isjust an experience.
I'm depressed?
I would never say that.
I used to say that a lot inCanada.

(33:43):
When I came after three yearsor so, i became very depressed
because it was a big culturalshock and loneliness and lost
social life and the interactionwith humans and everything.
I was feeling depressed.
But I've changed my language.
Now If I say I'm depressed,that would be wrong to say it.

(34:07):
I feel depressed.
That would be okay, becausethis is how you feel.
It's an experience.
It's not you.
Who you are is different.
Who you are is the spirit.
The spirit is never depressed.
So now I don't attach anythingto myself.

Gurasis (34:30):
I like that, you know, i think we also hear this quote
sometimes that it's just a badday, it's not a bad life, or
like you are not a bad person,it's just an experience.

Asifa (34:39):
It is experience, yeah, and then if you're trying to
avoid pain and avoid, let's say,complication and everything,
you are not living.
If you're living.
This is a part of life.
You know joy, pain, complication, problems It's all part of life

(35:04):
.
We cannot avoid one thing andthen choose another thing.
We're here to experience both.
So I always tell my friendswhen they are like complaining
about life and like you aregreater than the problem that
you have, If you just give ittime and then thinking it will

(35:24):
go away, it's not permanent,Nothing permanent you know.
So you will come out of itstrong and happy.
Just that's not life, As youjust said.
That's not life.
Yeah, Life is not pain orsorrow, It's happiness and joy.

Gurasis (35:43):
Okay, so see, if I this would be like a great segue to
talk about.
You know, keep glowing, sana.
Like you said, you were acriminal, you were studying
criminal law and then youtransitioned into becoming, like
, a holistic health coach.
Tell us, like, how did thathappen?
and also a little bit aboutyour business.

Asifa (36:00):
Yeah, sure, it was always my passion to learn law
criminal law, that's why Istarted it, and I wanted to
become a lawyer So I still haveone year left to become a lawyer
and I realized that it was mypassion, for sure.

(36:22):
But then, at the same time,help was my passion as well,
because every time I took abreak from my studies during the
day, i would just researcharticles and books about health.
How can I stay healthy, how canI improve my skin and my energy

(36:46):
?
I would do that.
And then I was like I love thisand why don't I just?
I became a juice therapist, alsotook some classes and became a
juice therapist.
So I was like now I want toopen a juice bar and help people

(37:09):
with this product, because itall started with soda.
I was seeing my friendsdrinking a lot of soda and I
knew how harmful soda is forthem.
But then I learned about howhealthy juice is for you And I
was like maybe I should justopen a juice bar and I have very

(37:31):
good healthy juice recipes andoffer it to people so they can
stay healthy, as I am, because Iwas drinking it every week and
every day and I wanted everybodyto experience that and then
stay healthy.
But then I was still studyingfor my masters.
But then one day I graduatedand my marks were very good.

(38:00):
My professor would give me abonus and I was very excited
about that.
But then all of a sudden, afterI graduated, two weeks after I
graduated, instead of applyingfor jobs, i was like no, i'm
going to open a juice bar.
So I came to Arizona, i talkedto the, to places where I'll be

(38:25):
a kitchen, kitchen's actually tomake juices, because I was not
allowed to make it at home.
Of course I was started small,so the Arizona government said
that you have to have acommercial area.
So I was like very close tosign the lease and start making
juice in that kitchen.

(38:46):
The COVID broke out.
Covid broke out.
And I was again very frustratedand was like again another
turning point, another bigchange in my life.
Because I was all prepared toopen the juice bar And then the
COVID broke out and then it wasrisky to do that.
And first I was frustrated andI was sad but then I was like,

(39:09):
oh my God, i should be grateful,because if I signed that lease
nobody would be buying juicebecause all business were closed
.
Business would be stuck.
Yeah, bookings were gettingcanceled, flights were getting
canceled.
Then I would be stuck with thislease for a year or so.

(39:29):
So I should be grateful insteadof complaining.
This is why I believe thatthings happen for a reason.
I didn't know what the reasonwas at the time, but that was
the main reason.
That's why I delayed.
So I was like that's good thatit didn't happen and I didn't
waste money.
But then I was like what am Igoing to do now?

(39:52):
So I thought I would justgather all my knowledge that I
have and put it in a program,because everyone was asking me
about my program.
Everyone was asking me how comeI'm healthier and looking
younger than they are?
They were my age.
my friends were my age.
What are you doing?
I was like I just have sometips and lifestyle that I follow

(40:18):
for a couple of years, that'sall.
So I was like you know what?
I'm just going to gather allthe information in a program.
I put it in a program.
If it worked for me, it's goingto work for you, and it already
worked for you, and I'm justgoing to share it with everyone
else.
And then I also got certifiedas a holistic health coach, so

(40:44):
that's how it started.
So I just switched from onething to another.
I'm not saying that it was allwaste of time.
But when I look back at it, ispent so much money and time and
effort to become a lawyer Andthen it's okay.
Another message to everyonewho's listening is that it's

(41:11):
okay.
Everything that happens in yourlife is okay.
If you have done something andit didn't work out the way you
want it, it's okay, and if youswitch from one thing to another
, it's okay.
So all my life I thought my onlypassion was to become a lawyer.
But then later in my life Ilearned that no, becoming a

(41:35):
lawyer when I was studying formy law degree, i was getting
tired of studying that and thenI would switch to something else
, which was health.
But when I'm studying abouthealth and researching about
health, i never get tired.
Even if I get tired, i stillwant to do more research.

(41:58):
I still want to learn more, toan extent that I force myself to
not do it anymore because it'smy passion.
I'm enjoying it.
Sometimes I stay and I'mstudying until late night.
I don't mind it, but when I wasstudying law, there was a limit

(42:19):
.
Okay.
Now I'm tired of the book, butwhen I'm studying about health,
i don't want to close the book.
I want to study and learnforever.
There is no limit.
So you learn about yourself.
Life is all about discoveringabout yourself, learning about
yourself.

(42:39):
It's okay if you just switchyour career.
It's okay if you change yourlocation.
It's all okay because you'relearning, you're growing And
you're not just a message andpeople are like, oh my God, and
then people are criticizing it,then you spend as much money,
why did you switch your career?
It's okay, it's okay.

Gurasis (43:01):
Yeah, yeah, i want to highlight this one thing.
You mentioned that you knoweverything does not happen to
you, it happens for you.
You just have to find the goodin every adversity that come
your way.
And yes, as if I think me alongwith my listeners can, i think,
hear the passion in your voicewhen you talk about this health

(43:22):
coaching business.
So tell me, like, where peoplecan connect with you if you just
want to consult you.

Asifa (43:28):
Instagram, facebook, linkedin.
It's just my name, asifa Hopal,and they can look for me on
Instagram or Facebook orLinkedIn, whatever platform they
are active at.
I'm mostly active on LinkedInnow because this is my favorite.

(43:48):
I learn a lot from LinkedIn andI also teach a lot on LinkedIn.
That's the only platform I'mactive on for now, and I also
offer free coaching session.
Like the first session is freefor everyone.
It's just getting to know theperson And I just love talking

(44:14):
about health, and it's also agood experience for me because
every person is different.
I customize a health programfor each person.
It's not one program foreverybody.
It doesn't work that way.
So the more I learn aboutdifferent people, the more I

(44:36):
enhance my knowledge.
So this is my win.
When I offer free session topeople, i learn about them,
about their health issues, andat the same time, it's a win for
them because I create a minihealth program for them that
they can implement right afterthe call.
So if anyone is interested, ioffer them free coaching session

(45:01):
.

Gurasis (45:02):
So to all my listeners.
links to contact to Sifa can befound in the show notes.
Before we jump into the finalsegment, i very quickly just
want to touch upon the pointwhich we discussed earlier was
immigrating with parents or withyour family comes with own set
of challenges which people mightnot understand and they say, oh
, your chores might be takencare of, your cooking might be

(45:24):
taken care of, you can focus onyour career or your education.
That's not the case.
It comes with one set ofchallenges and one set of
dynamics And I wonder, justsince you have gone, you have
experienced that.
Tell us a little bit aboutthose pros and cons, if you can
share.

Asifa (45:39):
Yeah, of course.
So when I was studying at theuniversity I live with my family
and then there were studentswho lived on campus.
So they were probably was away,like in India or Europe, but
they lived on campus at theuniversity And they would look

(46:00):
at me.
They would be like, oh, now wehave to go home and then we have
to cook, sometimes We have todo our laundry, we have to buy a
grocery and all that.
You're lucky When you go homeyour food is ready.
You bring home food from home,sometimes it's ready, and then

(46:24):
your mom might be doing yourlaundry also.
Sometimes she does when I haveexams, but not all the time.
And they thought I was in a goodposition, but then I was like,
no, i think you guys are in agood position because for me on
the weekends my mom doesn'tspeak English.
I have to take her to thedoctor, i have to take her to

(46:46):
grocery shopping And I have totake her to her friend's place
if she wants to visit any of herfriends.
And that takes time, energy andeffort and it distracts me from
my school, from my studies.
I give her like one full day todo all this, and sometimes one

(47:07):
and a half day, so the weekendis only two days and I don't
have much time to study.
You guys don't have that.
It's just you and your school.
So there's pros and cons ineach situation, but we have to
be grateful in both cases.

Gurasis (47:27):
Absolutely.

Asifa (47:28):
You just learn how to adjust to it, just learn how to
deal with it.
If you're living alone in yourstudy, that's awesome, because
it's now you and all your focusis on your school and yourself.
It's so easy to do that.
You can just plan it.
You come up and manage time.

(47:49):
I don't agree with that.
You manage activities.
So you have your activities andbeing this activity or this
task at this time on this day,and this is how you will make it
work.
And then, when you come home,it's you and your school and
your studies which is better,which makes it look better.

(48:12):
But then, on the other hand,yes, i was like spending time
and effort with my mom and myfamily and my like teenager
brother also, but then, at thesame time, when you come home,
you're tired from all day andthen you talk, you give them a
hug, you talk to them you talkto them how good your day was or

(48:36):
how bad your day was and howyou did in school, and you get
this positive energy from them.
They pray for you, they wishyour success, and then you talk
about all that and there'senergy exchange.
All the stress will go away andthen feel better and positive

(48:59):
and eager for the next day Andyou go to sleep very good,
because now you have someonethat's supporting you
emotionally and wish you successin your studies.
So it's just up to you Justfind the good things in every
situation and focus on thosegood things.

(49:21):
Negative things Yeah,definitely.

Gurasis (49:25):
No situation is better than the other, it's just about
how you perceive it.
That's how I would say that,yeah, okay.
So, asifa, now you know thefinal segment of the podcast.
I call it Beneath the Accent.
I'm going to ask a couple ofquestions.
You can answer them in one word, or a sentence, or house server

(49:47):
, you feel like The idea is justto know more about Asifa.
So are you ready?
Sure, so first is, what advicewould you give to Asifa, who is
in the initial months of landingin Canada?

Asifa (50:00):
So my only advice would be to that younger Asifa that
landed in Canada Don't be sostubborn that you know what
you're going to do.
It's know what your passion is.
Just be a little bit flexible.
Ask people.
Ask people connect with people.

(50:20):
talk to people.
Whatever you want to become,find that person as a mentor.
I wanted to study politicalscience.
I should have talked to someonewho has studied political
science and then I use theiradvice as my mentor and do a

(50:42):
little bit of research and seeis it what I want, is it what I
really want?
But no, i was very stubborn,very stubborn.
I was like no, this is it?
I'm just doing this politicalscience No matter what.
And then I wasn't doing well inpolitical science, i didn't
like it and switched it.

(51:03):
And then when you're not, whenyou don't have a strong passion
for something, you fail.
That's what happened.
Political science.
I thought I had a strongpassion for it, but I didn't,
because my marks were likesuffering.
My grades were going down, down, down down all the time, and to

(51:26):
the point that I was almostfailing it.
And then with criminal law, mymarks were like going up, going
up, up, and then I was evengetting like a bonus.
So we had it out of 100, then abonus on top of that.
But that was the new passion, ithought you know.
And then came my health journey,which is even better than what

(51:50):
I've been doing all this time.
So so that would be my onlyadvice to the, to the younger us
.
But it landed.

Gurasis (52:00):
And is there any worst advice someone ever gave you?

Asifa (52:03):
A lot, a lot of the advisors, and they all didn't
come from my family, to behonest.
Yes, our families are great.
Our family always in ourculture.
Our family always wants us tobecome best, to become something
, to find an identity, become anengineer, a lawyer or anything.

Gurasis (52:28):
The classic professions .

Asifa (52:29):
Yes, it's you, it's your life, it's your passion, it's
your ability, it's your capacity.
It's different.
They don't understand that.
They just want this and thenwhat you are is maybe different.
So the greatest advice that cameto me were not from my family,

(52:51):
and the reason for that isbecause they wanted something
different for me and I wantedsomething different for me.
They didn't understand me.
I understood myself, and thegreatest advice from business
coaches I followed my passion,which was being it was opening a
juice bar, and I was listeningto all these business coaches

(53:14):
and learn from them So manyadvices that I learned from them
.
So many things that I learnedfrom them about myself.
So many things that I learnedfrom they say sad guru about
myself, like I a lot of thingsthat I didn't know about myself.
I learned from them.
And then it resonated to me.
I was like my God, yes, that'sabsolutely right.

(53:36):
So I followed those advice.
And there's another thing that Ialways do, and that is I don't
want to do anything that myfamily has done.
I would do anything that myculture would say don't do it.
I would do anything that myreligion would say don't do it.

(54:00):
I would do anything that myfamily would say don't do it.
I would do it.
I'll still do it.
Experience it.
I'm breaking the program.
I'm breaking the programbecause I know that my friends
were following a program.
They were told what to do.
They did it, and then they wantus to do what they did.

(54:24):
It doesn't have to be that way.
Every person should have adifferent life.
There should be changes.
There should be improvement,progress, growth.
That's another thing that I wasdoing since I was a teenager.
Participating in this beautycontest was against my culture,
it was against my religion, itwas against my family reputation

(54:48):
.
My mom was not happy about it.
When I did that, i didn't tellmy brothers about it.
I didn't tell my father aboutit, but I still did it because
my spirit was telling me just doit.
It's just something different.
Just do it.
The one thing that they wantedme to do at the time was to get

(55:12):
married, find a husband, havechildren.
That's what they wanted for meto do.
I rejected it.
I was like, no, i'm not doingthat.
I'm doing something different.
This is something that mygrandmother did, my
grand-grandmother did and youdid, but I don't have to do that
.
I want to do somethingdifferent.
I want to study.
I want to participate in thisbeauty contest.

(55:36):
There's so much in life.
That's what I've been doing allmy life.

Gurasis (55:44):
I'm so glad you did that.
Good for you and, i think, morepower to other women as well
who will just stand againstthese traditional orthodox
ideologies.
I really hope they fight there.
I always say that our parentsare product of their own time
and they try to pass on whatthey were taught in their time.
You don't have to follow it allthe time, it's okay.

Asifa (56:06):
I'm not saying that nobody should listen to our
parents at all.
Not saying that because therewere a lot of things that they
taught us Yeah of course, i usethat.
we have now come from themrespecting people, discipline.
There's so many things that welearn from them and I respect

(56:30):
them for teaching me thatThere's so many things.
but then, at the same time, mypoint is not everything has to
be what they want us to do.
That's my point.
I'm not saying that weshouldn't be listening to our
parents at all.

Gurasis (56:50):
Of course.
What's the one thing youlearned from each country you
lived in, starting fromAfghanistan, then India and then
Canada?

Asifa (56:59):
Okay, so respect, a lot of respect from Afghanistan, and
then love from India.
There's so much love in.
India.
There is so much love in India.
They love everything.
They love humans, they loveanimals, they love and respect
every single thing.

(57:19):
So that's what I learned, andCanada just freedom.
Canada taught me that you don'tagree with someone, you're not
disrespecting that person.
Because, that's human, I mean,it's not a disrespect People's
perception that someone isdisrespecting someone.
But it's not disrespect.

(57:39):
You don't agree with someone,you're not disrespecting that
person.
So Canada gave me freedomBefore I was, like you know,
afraid, afraid to talk to people.
If someone knows better than me, I shouldn't be arguing with
that person.
I shouldn't be, disagreeing withthat person, even if I disagree

(58:02):
with that person.
But in Canada you're free todisagree.
Tell them the person.
I don't agree with your point,but I respect your opinion.
I don't agree with it.
You are free to choose what youwant to do.
You are free to choose what youwant to study.
You know families give a lot offreedom to their children when

(58:25):
they are over 18.
They can choose whatever theywant.
Their family don't tell themThey get them freedom to choose
what they want.
They don't tell them Absolutely.
So freedom from Canada.

Gurasis (58:35):
So who's your go-to person when you feel stuck?

Asifa (58:37):
When I feel stuck, I listen to my intuition.

Gurasis (58:41):
Okay.

Asifa (58:42):
That was my go-to person.
First I just sit, i meditate,then I just talk with my soul.
This is my problem.
This is my problem Because whenyou have a problem, when you
talk to people about it, peoplemost of the time, 99% of the

(59:03):
time people have their owninterests.
When they're helping you, theywill not help you just because
they want to help you.
They have some kind of interestand they will advise you
accordingly.
So when I have problem, i don'tgo to people.
I sit with myself, i meditate,i think about it and then I give

(59:24):
a time.
I give the time a couple ofdays and then I hear answers
from one place or another.
I hear it.

Gurasis (59:33):
And you said that you have watched a lot of Bollywood
movies, so can you name a fewthat you really love?

Asifa (59:37):
Yeah, it will be Tal Tal Okay.
Ashwara.
Rae, yeah, i love that movie, somuch I watched it in a theater
in India, New Delhi.
That was an amazing experience.
I liked so many, a lot ofIndian movies, but that's the
only one that I liked so much.

Gurasis (01:00:00):
So how would you describe Canada in one word or a
sentence?

Asifa (01:00:04):
Canada is my second and permanent home and I have a
high-effect and deep love forCanada, even if Afghanistan gets
better than Canada today.

Gurasis (01:00:17):
I would still love Canada.
And finally, if you could leaveme with one piece of advice,
Asifa, what would it be?

Asifa (01:00:25):
Keep learning, keep learning.
We are students of life.
So what you're doing right nowis you're learning from people's
life.
So just don't give this up.
Just keep doing it, because youdon't learn when you're just
sitting in home and you're justsurrounded by your family.

(01:00:48):
I wish I had time to do this.
I love it so much because everyweek I learn to some kind of
podcast every week, especiallyabout health.
I learn about people, becauseevery person is a teacher,

(01:01:09):
whatever they have experiencedin their life.
you have it, And how many liveswould you live to have all the
experience people have in theirlife?

Gurasis (01:01:21):
Absolutely.

Asifa (01:01:22):
No way.
When you have a podcast, youlearn about people's experience.
You don't have to live 100lives.
You just meet 100 people andthen learn from them Learn from
their experiences, learn fromtheir failures, learn from their
knowledge.
This is a great thing thatyou're doing And my advice you

(01:01:47):
would be keep it up.

Gurasis (01:01:50):
I love the way you put the whole thing together.
I love that.
On that note, Asifa, thank youso much for being on the podcast
and adding value to me and tomy listeners.
Thank you.

Asifa (01:02:00):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
I had a good time with you.

Gurasis (01:02:04):
Hey listener, Thank you for making it to the end.
I highly highly appreciate youlistening to the podcast.
Subscribe to the podcast if youhaven't as yet, And please
share with your friends oranybody you think would like it.
And like I always say, weencourage you to follow your
heart, but also ask.
on Instagram, the handle ismythicaccent.
You can also leave us a reviewor write to us at hello at

(01:02:28):
mythicaccentcom.
So stay tuned and let'scontinue knowing each other
beneath the accent.

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Witnessing Resilience: An Evolution Across Borders | Ft. Asifa Popal Ep 035

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Witnessing Resilience: An Evolution Across Borders | Ft. Asifa Popal Ep 035