124. Fragmented Hearts: Love, Lies, and the Trauma We Can’t Outrun

What does it feel like to love someone so deeply it cracks you open—while knowing that love might be destroying you? In this visceral episode, we confront the collision of forbidden desire, childhood sexual abuse, and the shattered selves we carry into adulthood.

As a therapist caught in an affair with a married man, I unravel how trauma wires us to crave relationships that hurt—and why walking away feels like death. From dissociative orgasms during abuse to hurling lasagna at a cheating spouse, we expose the messy truth about fragmentation, fear of abandonment, and the masks we wear to survive.

Themes Explored:

• The addictive cycle of love-as-abandonment

• How sexual abuse silences your needs (and breeds people-pleasing)

• “Why do I sabotage good relationships?” – The trauma paradox

• Ethical non-monogamy: Fantasy vs. reality

• Reparenting the child who believed they’d die unloved

⚠️ Content Warnings: Explicit discussions of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), infidelity, dissociation, and self-loathing. Timestamps for sensitive sections provided in chapters.

Ending Note:
“Healing isn’t about fixing your broken parts—it’s about holding them gently until they trust you enough to speak.”

Follow for unfiltered conversations about trauma, love, and the masks we can’t take off.
Save if you’ve ever felt like a stranger in your own life.

Tags: #ComplexTrauma, #ForbiddenLove, #Dissociation, #EthicalNonMonogamy, #InnerChildHealing