Bravery and Bilingualism: Arminda Espinoza's Journey

Today, we’re excited to dive into a heartfelt conversation with Arminda Espinoza, a retired bilingual teacher and proud first-generation Mexican American, who has authored the inspiring children's book, *Brave Learns English*. Arminda shares her deeply personal journey, which resonates with countless English language learners, highlighting the fears, challenges, and triumphs that come with learning a new language. Through her protagonist, Lois, she captures the essence of finding one's voice amidst the struggles of language acquisition. Arminda's mission is to empower second-language learners to embrace their inner strength, and she brings that passion to life in her writing. Join us as we explore her story, the inspiration behind her book, and the invaluable lessons she's learned along the way.

Arminda Espinoza's tale is one of resilience and empowerment, portrayed beautifully in her book 'Brave Learns English.' On our podcast, she walks us through the emotional rollercoaster of being a bilingual teacher and a first-generation Mexican American, sharing how her upbringing shaped her understanding of language and identity. From her early struggles with English in school to her eventual triumphs, Arminda's insights are a beacon for anyone navigating the challenging waters of language learning. She discusses the critical role of supportive teachers and the community in fostering a positive environment for students. Arminda's experiences remind us that every learner has a voice worth hearing, and her mission is to empower those voices. The message is clear: we all have that little voice of doubt, but by embracing our bravery, we can quiet that negativity and push through to success. This episode is packed with wisdom for educators, parents, and students alike, encouraging us all to be kinder to ourselves and to appreciate the courage it takes to learn something new.

The conversation with Arminda Espinoza dives deep into her personal experiences as a first-generation Mexican American and the emotional landscape of learning English. She recounts her challenges in school, where her inner critic often overshadowed her achievements. As a bilingual teacher, she recognizes the pressure that English language learners face and the critical need for supportive classroom environments. Arminda's book, 'Brave Learns English,' emerges from her desire to advocate for these learners and to illustrate that the journey of learning a language is fraught with hurdles but also rich with opportunities for growth and understanding. Throughout the discussion, she emphasizes the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance, encouraging listeners to silence their inner critics and embrace their unique learning journeys. Arminda's narrative inspires not just educators but also parents and communities to foster a culture of encouragement and resilience among young learners.

Takeaways:

• Arminda Espinoza's journey as a first-generation Mexican American educator resonates with countless language learners.
• The children's book, 'Brave Learns English,' reflects the emotional complexities of learning a new language.
• We all face negative self-talk, especially when tackling new challenges like language learning.
• Empowering students to embrace their unique journeys is crucial for their confidence and growth.

Episode Transcript

(00:51):
Today on the show, we'rehonored to welcome Armita Espinosa,
a retired bilingual teacher, aproud first generation Mexican American,
and author of the heartfeltchildren's book, Brave Learns English.
Armita's story is deeplypersonal and powerfully universal,
reflecting the emotional andacademic journey of millions of English

(01:12):
language learners across thecountry. Through the eyes of Lois,
her young protagonist, Amitabrings to life the fears, insecurities
and triumphs that come fromlearning a new language and finding
your voice. She's here toshare her journey, her inspiration
and the technique. She hopesto empower second language learners
to embrace their innerstrength. Amita lives in Fresno,

(01:35):
California with her husbandLeonard and the three Furry champions,
Luna Soul and Cutie Boy.Welcome to the show, Armita.
Thank you for having me,Keith. It's a pleasure.
So good to have you on. I'mnot sure why your husband's name
was a. Was a tongue twister,but this morning it was.

(01:56):
It was a tongue twister for mymother who didn't speak English.
So bad.
Yeah. But some of the, some ofthe names we come up with in America
are somewhat challenging.
They are.
So I'm going to ask you myfavorite question. What's the best
piece of advice you ever received.
To be authentic? Be myself.Did I follow that rule? No, I didn't.

(02:23):
I finally, now in my 60s, I'mlike, okay, I get it. Important to
be yourself, be authentic to.
Do that, because there's somuch pressure to conform to what
other people want you to bethat it's just hard to kind of sit
in your own self. Because ifyou're not yourself and if someone
doesn't like, you can say,well, that wasn't really me. They

(02:44):
didn't like the person I waspretending to be.
That exactly. Good point, goodpoint. But you're right. Yes. I think
as wisdom, with age comeswisdom. And do you see the advice
that you receive withdifferent eyes through a different
lens?
I think as you get older too,you just care a lot less what people
think, which also helps.

(03:05):
I like that the older I get.
The less I care what you thinkabout me.
I like that.
I'm curious, as you thinkabout your journey and your life,
are there people in your lifewho served as an inspiration or mentor
for you on your journey?
Yes. You know, and lookingback, talking about being authentic

(03:27):
and being ourselves, the twoinspirational people that just of
course, dear to my heart of myparents, because I look back at their
life and how they lived it,and they were certainly authentic.
They lived their lives andlike you said what other people thought
about them. It really didn'ttake center stage as much as just

(03:50):
being themselves and movingthrough life in that fashion.
I love that. So tell us a bitabout your journey from first generation
Mexican American, how itshaped your career as a bilingual
teacher.
Yes, it's been an interestingjourney. My parents are from Mexico.
Were from Mexico. They haveboth passed away now. So I was first

(04:12):
generation. And I'll be honestwith you, going into school was a
challenge because although Iwas the youngest of six, so I had
siblings that by the time Iwent into kindergarten, I spoke quite
a bit of English. It might nothave been high academic level, but
I certainly had a goodfoundation of English skills. But

(04:34):
once I got into school and allthe academics started hitting me,
it really took a toll on me toreally, you know, talking about how
we. We allow people'sperceptions of ourselves impact how
we think about ourselves. Andso that's exactly what happened with

(04:56):
me. That's exactly what happened.
So one of our ministries herein Iowa, we have a Hispanic pastor
who's doing ESL classes as away for our churches to connect with
their community. And he talksabout, you know, how. How difficult
it is sometimes to get thosegoing and how hard is for, I think,
people who don't speak thelanguage to understand the difficulty

(05:19):
of doing that. I'm justcurious as you I've taken as a pastor,
I had to learn to do Greek andHebrew, and that was hard to try
to learn a second languagebecause I'm always trying in my head
to translate it into Englishas opposed to, you know, just taking
what it was and living with itwas always like, what does this mean

(05:39):
in English? And I'm curiousfor you, as you're trying to do that,
as a ESL teacher person who'sbilingual, what are some of the challenges
that we don't even imagine inlearning a new language in a new
country?
Well, I think what happens is,because they say if you have a second
language, your mind is workingdouble, right? I mean, it's switching

(06:00):
back and forth between the twolanguages. And without a fa. Without
a. I mean, it would be logicalthat when you hear something in a
different language, right awayyou go to the language that you do
know and you try to make theconnection, right? That's like. That
happens. And. And reallythat's what we're supposed to be
doing in learning a secondlanguage. You know, go. Go to the

(06:23):
language that you have and tryto figure out and understand the
message or the. What you'retrying to learn. So that was the
same thing for me. But I thinkwhat happened for me was. Well, not
what I think what happens forme. What happened to me was a negative
voice started talking to me,my inner voice. And I started paying

(06:46):
attention to it out of fearand out of nothing, the not the unknown.
I really took comfort in thatlittle voice that was talking to
me and not giving me the bestadvice. Although at the time it seemed
like pretty good advice.
Did you. Do you feel awfullylonely when you're trying to do this?

(07:06):
Because if your parents maybeweren't native speakers, it's probably
hard for them to help youprocess this. So you're kind of doing
this on your own as you'rekind of making that transition.
Yes, exactly. And that's whatI did. And it's kind of interesting
in the fact that I had oldersiblings, five older siblings. I

(07:28):
never asked them how theymoved through their educational.
I never did. I kept it tomyself. And of course we didn't have
books at our home. Ourparents. My parents didn't speak
English some, so they reallycouldn't help. And so I. I really
just felt like I was on my ownto just figure it out. And like I

(07:50):
said, I had a little voice inthe back of my head that was guiding
me and I was listening to itand I just thought, this is normal.
I assumed this was normal.
Right. So tell us about yourbook. What inspired you to write
your book? And tell us thetitle of it again, because I'm sure
I murdered the name of personin your book.

(08:11):
Yes, the title is BraveLollies Learns English. Lollies and
Lollies is an abbreviation ofDolores, which is my mom's name.
So it's in honor of my mother.But this story, I, you know, I went
into. Into education and Iretired as a teacher. And I had always
loved to write. So I hadalways written stories, children's

(08:34):
stories, but I had onlywritten them for myself. The only
person that I would read, thatI would let read my stories was my
husband. Because he was a safespace. Right. And so I assumed, I
just figured when I retire,I'm going to just hide away in my
little cocoon and just writemy little heart away. And I'm good.
But it was during COVID and itnever occurred to me, but the thought

(08:57):
did at that time to take achildren's writing class. So I thought,
why not invest in myself,right? And so I took a class and
they encouraged me to selfpublish a story. And this story I
was meditating One day. Andthis experience that I had in first

(09:17):
grade kept popping up. And Ireally thought I had Left that behind
69 years ago, 64 years ago.And. But the story, the experience
kept popping up, and I justthought to myself, oh, my goodness.
I just assumed I had gottenover it. And then I. The story came

(09:38):
to life. And the story was. Ifyou would like me to go.
Into the story, I'd love tohear the backdrop.
Yeah. The story was first dayof school, first grade, new school,
new teacher. So I don't knowany students there. We had just moved
into a new housingdevelopment, and. And the teacher
pulls me back to the back ofthe room, and she's testing me on

(10:00):
my ABCs. Kindergartenteachers, first grade teachers, we
all do that. I get stuck at Gnow. I don't know if I. I'm thinking.
I think I knew my ABCs, but Ithink I just got nervous. You know
how you say abcdefg? And thenthere's like, moment. And I just

(10:21):
didn't know what came afterthat. I just got stuck. And the longer
the time lapsed, the morenervous I got. And so eventually
the teacher allowed me to goback to my desk. The embarrassment
and the shame that I felt atthat moment because the teacher was
writing something on her pad,and I just thought, this is not good.

(10:42):
Now she knows I'm not smart.All the other students, they all
were smiling and they allseemed to be having a good time.
And I just figured I'm theonly one that doesn't know my ABCs,
and I need to figure it out fast.
Wow. So this book was kind ofa reflection of that story for you.
Who are you writing to? Andwhat do you hope when they pick up

(11:04):
this book, they understandabout the journey that you went through?
And other second languagespeakers are endearing as well.
Yes. I like this message. Themessage is that we all go through
this, not only second languagelearners, but when we're lifelong
learners. And whenever you'relearning something new, that little

(11:28):
voice is going to pop up. Andall of us, that the minute it becomes
challenging, that voice isgoing to tell us this is perhaps
something that you will neverlearn, so you need to just move on
to something else. Right. Imean, because it's that negative
voice that just sits in and itjust repeats itself over. The more
challenging we be, the more ofa challenge it is to learn what we're

(11:51):
learning, the louder thatlittle voice gets. So my message
is that we all have thatnegative little voice. We don't have
to let it Consume us. We don'thave to listen to it. Yes, it's there.
But we can switch our thinkingfrom a negative thought to a positive
thought. Something as simpleas learning addition is easy and

(12:14):
fun. Just so that we couldchange that voice, that message that
we're getting so that we couldcontinue to push through the challenge
and learn what we're needingto learn.
I'm curious as a teacher who'sgoing to maybe have all of a sudden,
for the first time in theirclass, someone who's English is not
their first language. What aresome tips that you would have for

(12:38):
teachers who go, I'm not surewhat to do, how to do this, how not
to alienate people, how not toput the experience that you've experienced
on a new child coming into herclass or his or her classroom.
So teachers can easily pairchildren up with other children who
have a similar language forsupport. And just by the fact that

(13:00):
the teacher, because all of myteachers are very supportive all
along the way and I will saydidn't experience anything negative
from any of my teachers. Butwhat was louder in my voice was my
negative voice. My self talkthat was the loudest thing and I
listened to it through highschool. Not good. But in any event

(13:20):
for teachers, they can pairchildren up with other children who
have a similar language forsupport and just give them time to
process. If a child is notraising their hand with an answer
right away, it doesn't meanthat they're not understand, it just
means that it's taking themsome time to process and to get comfortable

(13:42):
with the environment, getcomfortable with the language. Because
children, nobody wants to putthemselves out there in an embarrassing
situation. So they're going tohold back. So let's give them that
space.
So I'm curious, as you thinkabout your journey, what was the
emotional toll that you talk alittle bit about how it impacted
you for such a long time? Howdid you deal with that emotional

(14:07):
toll as you're kind oflearning to go through education
system because you became ateacher, so obviously you wanted
to go back and do that forsomeone else. So how did you navigate
all of that?
Well, I gotta tell you Keith,in all honesty, I did not do well.
I mean in that first grade I,the little boys got the best of me.

(14:27):
So by the second grade I wasacademically behind. I didn't know
what else to do because thelonger I went to school, the each
year I got academicallyfurther and further behind, my confidence
became lower and lower. Myanxieties, my, my fears, my embarrassment

(14:48):
to com, to confront or toshare out with anybody that I didn't
know what I was doing, that Ineeded help. It never occurred to
me to take that leap of faithand just ask for help. I just thought
I was creating a little cocoonwhere I was safe. And I was. And

(15:09):
I gotta admit, did I cheat. Icheated. I cheated a lot in school
because I. It was a survivalskill for me, which of course then
adds to the guilt and theshame. Right, right. Because, you
know, you're not supposed tobe cheating, but I don't know what
else to do. But, you know, butI know I need to get through it.

(15:30):
So by the time I graduatedfrom high school, I was reading probably
about a third or fourth gradelevel. I was pretty academically
very, very low. And it wasn'tuntil I married in my early 20s that
I was very fortunate to havemet my husband in high school. He
was fourth generation, a bigdifference. He had a vision. He knew

(15:55):
he was going to go graduatefrom high school, go to college,
become a teacher, get hisdoctorate. I mean, he had his whole
life planned. I was justtrying to get through high school,
just doing my best to getthrough high school, and never thought
that I would ever go tocollege because I just assumed, why
would I continue to put myselfin that predicament after 12 years

(16:19):
of that embarrassing and shamethat I went through? But what I saw
in him was when he was goingto college, I saw him and his buddies
getting together and helpingeach other. They were rewriting their
term papers and typing theirterm papers and correcting their
grammar. And it occurred to meI had never asked for help. And I

(16:45):
realized that I myself hadcreated such a world of my own little
safety world that I haddamaged or hurt myself right academically.
And it was then that Ithought, wow, if I asked for help,
maybe I could learn. And so Istarted at the community college,

(17:08):
and my husband helped me alot. I asked for a lot of help from
the professors, teachers, myhusband, and. And I started changing
my mindset.
So you mentioned earlier inour. In our discussion about the
inner voice that was tellingyou that you weren't ready, that
you weren't smart, that youneed to cheat. So what techniques

(17:30):
do you suggest to people whoare second, you know, second language
learners to quiet the innervoice, or at least to maybe tame
it. You may not be able toquiet it, but how do you tame that
inner voice?
Yes. So first of all, justacknowledging that we all have that
voice that pops up wheneverwe're learning something new and
this is a conversation thatteachers could have which would be

(17:52):
so impactful for all theirchildren, not just second language
learners, but even justEnglish only students. Letting them
know that if you're trying tolearn a math edition and you have
this little voice because wehear children say to ourselves, I
can never learn, I can't learnthis. This is too hard. I mean they're
verbaliz the I can'ts at that.That's a perfect time for a teacher

(18:17):
to have a conversation withthe child and say, look, I too, when
I'm trying to learn somethingnew and it's hard, I have a little
voice in my head that tells meI can't learn it. I said, but I have,
I have to just quiet thatvoice and I have to change what I
tell myself. I have to tellmyself that learning math is easy

(18:38):
and fun. Just that littleswitch so that we could continue
to stay focused and pushthrough. But having that conversation
with children, that I too asan adult always have that voice and
what I do to change it so thatI could push through just that simple

(19:01):
conversation is so powerfulwith all of our children.
I always think book titles areso critical and you have the title
Brave. So describe to me whenyou thought about that, that term
brave, you could have picked abunch of words to kind of put in
your title. What does braverymean in the context of second language

(19:21):
learners?
So bravery in the context ofsecond language learners or for anybody
that's learning anything thatis challenging is just to have the
brave. To be brave enough tohave the courage to have the courage
to know that, yes, I don'tknow this yet, but it doesn't mean

(19:43):
I can't learn it. And yes, Ihave that little voice that's popping
up that saying I'm not goingto be able to learn it. But guess
what? I don't have to listento it. I could be brave enough to
switch my thinking and keepmoving forward because eventually
I will learn it. It's justgoing to take a little longer. So
just that little conversationswith ourselves.

(20:04):
That is, that is so critical.So is there other books in the works
for you or is this like aseries of books on this or what's
next?
Well, I did do a second book.It's called Brave Lolis and Her Box
of Hope. And it's lollies, ofcourse, the character finding her
voice and being able to, tosupport her, her community because

(20:26):
it's, it's around the earth.The hurricane that hit Puerto Rico
in 2017 and how she finds hervoice and Organizes her community
to support Puerto Rico. Sothat's the second book that came
out in 23 and I have a thirdbook that's coming out probably in

(20:48):
January or February, but it isa completely different story and
it has, it's not part of the sequel.
I love that. So as you say youself published your first book. What
was the most challenging part?For those who are thinking I want
to write a book and especiallyin the children's space, what was
some of the things you had to overcome?
Well, I was very fortunatewhen I took that one class through

(21:09):
coach on writing for children,I ended up signing up with a program.
It's a hybrid publisher out ofCanada and they help you publish
your own book, so you own allthe rights. So I got to tell you,
they were a blessing because Ilearned they took us through all

(21:30):
the steps and they have helpedpublish all three of my books. I'm
not tech savvy, so Iunderstand my limitations. I could
write a story and with theirhelp, their, the help of their editors,
I could really make it a goodstrong story. But all of the other
pieces behind that, there is alot I could take a lifetime to have

(21:55):
learned or you know, I wasfortunate to be in a position to
be able to pay for the programand have them do all the stuff on
the background.
Yeah, because I mean with akids books you have to have illustrators
and typeset. All that was kindof. I'm sure that's I just did a
book but I didn't have anyillustrations in it because I'm like
just a whole nother level ofproduction there.

(22:17):
Yes it is. And so they guidedme. And what was really good about
that program was it had atight timeline so it kept me on track
because otherwise I couldeasily procrastinate and still not
have gotten a book out as ofright now. But they, they keep me

(22:38):
on a timeline and they guideme through everything. And aside
from the illustrationillustrator that I had to find on
my own, they provided all theother logistical pieces to self publishing
a book. And so I was veryfortunate that Brave Lolis has sold
over 9,000 books in two and ahalf years. And so I'm very proud

(23:01):
of that.
So how long did it take you towrite the book? Just out of curiosity.
So the minute that when I wasmeditating in that experience came
up, it took me a day or two towrite the bones of the story and
share it with the editor. Andit probably took about two months
to really nail it and reallyclean it up with Their guidance.

(23:25):
And then it took about ninemonths to do all the other pieces.
You know, the finding theillustrator, giving the illustrator
time to do the illustrations,which took about three months. So
it's a long process. It's notsomething that happens overnight.
But within a year, the firstbook was published.

(23:46):
What kind of feedback are yougetting on your book?
Getting really good feedback.As a retired educator, both my husband
and I here in the San JoaquinValley, we, over our course of our
career, we've had anopportunity to have met and, and
learned, worked with a lot ofdistricts and administrators. And

(24:06):
so that has really opened thedoors for me because of the relationships
that we've built throughoutthe course of our career. And so,
yes, I work with a lot of thebig districts here in the Valley.
And so now I'm trying to pushmyself out of the Valley, out of
the Central Valley. But it'sgotten very good responses here in

(24:27):
the Valley.
So here's your chance to pitchthe educators. Why should they buy
your book?
So they're the reason theyshould buy the book. I mean, and,
you know, the message is justhelping children with that negative
voice that we all have. Right.So, and as I said that even though

(24:49):
Lolis was. The title was Babe,Lolis learns English, it really was
just because we are alllearning English when we're out in
kindergarten. Right. It's notjust whether you're a second language
learner or just an Englishlearner. You're still learning English.
So it really is applicable toall children in whatever they're

(25:09):
learning, whatever it is thatthey're learning.
That's great. Great message.So I love to ask my guest this question,
what do you want your legacyto be?
My legacy? I would love mylegacy to be had. Somehow I made.
I left the world just a littlebit better.
That's great.

(25:30):
Than when I first got here.
So in season six of thepodcast, you're doing something a
little different. We're gonnahave a surprise question. Pick a
number between one and fourfor your surprise question.
Okay, I'll take four.
All right. What things do youdo every day that you wish you could

(25:51):
automate?
That I wish I could automate.That's a good question. It's still
a challenge, but I would loveto be able to automate that. It comes
on on an automatic, for me ispositive talk.

(26:12):
Oh, okay.
Positive self talk. Becausethat negative talk still pops up
on a regular basis. So if Icould have positive self talk constantly
generated throughout the day,I think I could do pretty good.
Yeah, you could sell that too.You just get a button that everybody
could push that would justautomatically positive talk your

(26:35):
day through. Yeah. So if youinvent that, you let me know and
come back on the podcast andwe'll talk about how you're doing
a positive talk button.
So I gotta tell you, I madethese, this bracelet, and it says,
what are you thinking? Becausewe get. We're bombarded with thoughts
throughout the day, millionsof thoughts throughout the day. And

(26:56):
a lot of times we just movethrough the day and we don't give
much thought to those thoughtsthat are just in the background.
So whenever I look down at mybracelet, I take a second and I ask,
what am I thinking at thisvery moment? If the thought is a
negative thought, I switch itto a positive thought and then I

(27:17):
move on. So it keeps me alertto constantly check in with myself
on what am I thinking.
That's a good one. I likethat. So where can people find your
bracelet?
Well, I gotta say, I, I givethem away whenever I do presentations,

(27:38):
but folks can just, you know,you could get online and you could
just. I never thought aboutmarketing them, but you could certainly
just buy them from whoevermakes these little. They're little
plastic bracelets. Right. Oryou could even make a little bracelet
with. You know how you go intoart stores and they have the little
letters where you could writeyour. Put your name together. You

(28:01):
could just get a string andwrite, you know, what are you thinking?
And put that on there. Right.
Where can people find yourbooks and connect with you on social
media?
Yes. So Armita Spinoza,author, on Facebook. And my book
sells on Barnes and noble orarmitaspinoza.com the book is on

(28:21):
Amazon, of course. And so. Yes.
Well, thank you. I mean, as wewrap up this conversation, what key
takeaways do you want to leavewith the audience who listen to us
today?
Key takeaway is that don'tunderestimate the thoughts that are
running through our head thatwe're not paying attention to. They're

(28:45):
impacting us. We need to bemindful of our thoughts because if
we're not mindful of ourthoughts, we're losing out on life.
Yeah, that's really good.Well, thank you so much for taking
the time. Thank you for whatyou do, for raising awareness of

(29:06):
what it means to be a secondlanguage person and the bravery it
takes to take on the challengeof learning a new language and navigating
through the education system.And I'm sure this book will inspire
a lot of kids who are doingnegative self talk about trying to
navigate. This is. I mean,because it is a brave process to
take on something new and totry to learn content in a second

(29:29):
language. So I commend anybodywho's trying to do that. So thank
you for raising that awarenessfor us.
Thank you for having me,Keith. It's been a pleasure.
Thank you.