June 18, 2024 • 38 mins
Text Brian & Shawna (Fan Mail)
What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in embracing your insecurities and becoming more confident? Join us for this episode of New Horizons, where we unravel the complexities of self-confidence and self-identity with Brian and Shawna Curee, also known as Mr. and Mrs.KillerB in the Metaverse. Shawna's candid narration of her unexpected insecurities challenges the myth that self-assured individuals never struggle. Through a conversation Shawna had with her close friends, to a humorous story Brian shares involving the ever-confident Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), we'll discuss what confidence looks like, the positives, and the risks.
Faith and community play pivotal roles in the journey to confidence as Brian and Shawna reveal the shifts in their internal dialogues from negative self-talk to affirming faith-based positivity. Listen to how external voices and past experiences can shape self-esteem and why it is crucial to consciously counter these influences to maintain confidence.
Finally, discover the often-overlooked power of community support and authentic connections. From JenSmash taking a national stage advocating for amputees, to a youth pastor finding his balance between confidence and humility, this episode underscores the importance of stepping into one's purpose. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, our discussions affirm that self-awareness and intentional growth are key to building lasting confidence. Tune in for an episode rich with personal stories, practical insights, and a reminder that everyone has a unique purpose waiting to be embraced.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I've always felt like I had good self-confidence and
that I was, you know, not tooworried about what other people
thought about me and things likethat.
And just more recently, withinthe last year or so, I've
struggled a little bit more withinsecurity, with questioning my
worth, with questioning mypurpose.
I am a confident person, butlately I have been struggling a
(00:25):
little more.
I don't want to be arrogant,but I do want to have a quiet
confidence.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
I'm Brian Curie.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer
Bee, in virtual reality.
So this podcast is recordedlive from the metaverse at the
Killer Bee Studios where reallife stories and God experiences
are shared in a way only themetaverse at the Kilder Beach
Studios, where real life storiesand God experiences are shared
in a way only the metaverse canoffer.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's
episode.
Tonight, our topic is going tobe how confident are you?
And it's really.
How confident are you really?
So I'm going to ask you guysthis by throwing some confetti,
let me know who in the audiencehere would say that you've
(01:08):
struggled with confidence before.
How many of you have everbought or picked up one of those
or went to the library and gotone of those self-help books?
I've, I've done that, yeah,okay, yeah, yeah.
So I'll tell you a secret.
I've learned Sometimes selfcan't help self.
But we're excited to have thistalk tonight.
Me and Mrs Killer Bee wastalking about some things and
(01:30):
actually won't you go ahead, mrsKiller Bee, would you like to
share for everybody how thistopic came up?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, I would.
So I was having I went on agirl's trip with two of my
closest friends from Ohio, twoof my oldest friends as well,
and we were just having a lot ofconversations about kind of
learning who you are and kind ofstepping into your purpose and
(01:59):
we've talked, you know, ingeneral a lot about our past and
things that have happened andalso things that are changing
like as we're getting older.
You know, two of us are in ourforties, one of them is getting
closer to the forties and, youknow, things start changing.
What is surprising to me isthere are times where I feel
(02:22):
more insecure than I used toLike.
I've always felt like I hadgood self-confidence and that I
was, you know, not too worriedabout what other people thought
about me and things like that.
And just more recently, withinthe last year or so, I've
struggled a little bit more withinsecurity, with questioning my
worth, with questioning mypurpose, things like that, with
(02:44):
questioning my worth, withquestioning my purpose, things
like that.
And so, as we're kind oftalking through some of these
things, I said, you know I am aconfident person, but lately I
have been struggling a littlemore.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
When I think of confidence, I think of Dwayne
Johnson.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
He's very confident in what he does, and if you've
ever seen him in person, hasanybody ever seen him in person
before Dwayne Johnson?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I can say yes.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We can say yes, you guys want to hear a quick little
story?
There's this little diner thatpeople told us was really good.
We went there and ate and thistime, when we were there, there
was this person sitting rightbehind me and he had his hat
tipped down and the lady thatwas sitting with them, and I
think they had like a little, alittle child with them too.
They were all back there andthey, they all had hats and like
kind of leaned down and thewaitress.
(03:30):
Whenever we get up, you had towalk to the bathroom, you had to
go by them.
Well, they would purposely likecircle us around the restroom
like steer us around.
And I came back out and I'm likeman, that guy must be a jerk,
like he even like let hisgirlfriend or wife or whoever
this is, want to even look atanybody.
But then I saw his arms and I'mlike I'm not saying nothing to
(03:50):
this guy.
He would snap me like a twigand I sat back down.
I mean huge.
And I sat back down and he'slike right behind me and we
talked and then once he left, hewent out the back like the back
doors, they all did.
The waitress came out and saidyou guys won't believe, do you
guys know who that was rightbehind you?
And we're like, no, I'mthinking some jerk.
She showed us a picture.
(04:11):
She's like that was DwayneJohnson, the rock.
I was like oh my gosh, I couldsmell what the rock was eating
right behind me.
It was amazing.
But that's basically it.
But no, when I think confidence, you like, I'm like you seem
like a really confident person.
All right, that's what I like,a visual of it.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
But interesting thing to think about there is, you
know, when you learn about hislife.
He had a lot of failures and soyeah, that's so true.
Interesting thing.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Well, okay, Mrs Killer B.
As Okay, Mrs Killer Bee, as wego back into how this topic came
up.
You said you looked at yourselfas being a confident person,
correct?
Yes, Okay, so tell us.
Share with us what happened,like what happened next, in your
guys' conversation.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Okay.
So when I said that my onefriend in particular she said
that I did not seem like aconfident person to her she
didn't think I seemed confident.
So that surprised me.
But you know, in part I thinkit's because, you know, you have
different relationships withdifferent people and part of our
(05:15):
dynamic is we talk through ourpast and stuff like that, and so
that was what she specificallysaid is some things that she
felt like I put up with in mypast showed her that I didn't
have the self-confidence to stopthose things.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
So this is what interesting on the conversation.
This is where we stopped, causelike, hey, let's bring this
into the studios, talk aboutthis during new horizons.
Cause I think, as we all seen,everybody was throwing confetti
that they've struggled withconfidence.
But I would like to ask youwhen this came up and they kind
of acknowledged that they didn'tsee you as a confident person,
how did that make you feel anddid it affect your confidence at
(05:54):
that moment?
Did it start changing a littlebit because of what maybe your
friends say?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
No, it actually didn't make me feel less
confident.
It didn't.
What it made me thinkspecifically was she just
doesn't know.
That part of me, like.
What she said didn't make medoubt myself, because I know
myself better than she knows meand I thought well, you just
(06:19):
don't know me that.
Well then, do you?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I think that that is beautiful, because I think it
even takes a confident person toto receive that that way,
because if you're not, I mean wecan be.
There's different levels ofconfidence and especially if
your friends or family membersthat are close to you you feel
confident but then they doubtyour confidence, that can very
easily if you're not likeunderstanding, like hey, they
(06:43):
don't know the me inside and howI look at things at life all
the way and how I handle things,that could affect, I think,
your confidence there.
Like maybe you're thinkingmaybe I've made a wrong decision
, maybe I'm not as confident asI thought I was.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, even because I'm not sure how often people
really talk to each other abouthow confident they are.
But I think people in your lifecan knock on your confidence by
doubting that you can do thething that you feel like you
want to do, the thing you weremade to do.
So if they say you can't dothat, you're not good at that,
then that can bring down yourconfidence.
And you know my favoritestories to read about people are
(07:22):
people who have a vision andthey go forward with it, whether
everyone says they can't do itor whether everyone says you're
not good at that.
You know it's.
It's fascinating that somepeople have that drive in
themselves to say, despite whateverybody says, I know this is
what I'm going to do, and theyovercome obstacles and they
(07:45):
overcome failures.
And that's inspiring to mebecause you know there have been
times in the past where someonesaid you're not good at that
and I thought, okay, I'll justmove on to something else.
And you know who knows what youmiss out on if you let other
people decide what you are goingto do in your life.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Where do you feel like your confidence really
started being birthed?
Like where do you feel likethat starts and I know, I know
we've already said like it'skind of grown as we grow as
adults in our life?
I mean, when I was younger, myconfidence is way different than
where it is today.
So where did that start for you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Okay, so we'll start with me, but then I want to hear
about that with you in yourlife too.
For me, so I did not grow upreally in church.
My parents weren't believers,but it started with the identity
that my parents gave me becauseI grew up in the generation I
was born in 1980.
(08:41):
So my parents weren't overly,overly, you know, complimentary.
They weren't, you know, tellingme like you're amazing, but
they had such a quiet confidencein me and they showed me that
in little ways, like you know astory that I've been telling a
lot lately as I've been talkingthrough these things Because
(09:03):
spoiler alert at the end, thewhole point of this conversation
for me is to find the balancebetween confidence and humility,
to understand that I don't wantto be arrogant, but I do want
to have a quiet confidence.
So I just want to put that outthere real quick.
But my dad, I remember thisspecific time when I was having
(09:27):
trouble with this big like,imagine like a big 1980s like
receiver, a radio, you know, andI was having trouble with it.
I couldn't get it to work.
I got real mad.
I went into my dad and I waslike, oh, I can't fix this thing
, it's broken and I can't fix it.
And he just said very calmlyI've never heard you say you
(09:50):
can't do anything.
And it kind of took me aback.
Even at that young age I thoughtto myself he thinks I can do
anything.
So I went up and fixed it.
I just did it because that'sall I needed.
Apparently.
It was just like a little boostto say, well, if he thinks I
can do it, I can.
That's kind of how my parentsraised me and my siblings and as
(10:13):
I look back, I just grew upwith a confidence that I could
do what I put my mind to.
And so that's where it startedfor me.
Do you want to talk about, likeyour confidence, how you think
it started, and then we can kindof talk about as we've gotten
older.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, I definitely would like to share that Because
I mean, if a lot of people knewme when I was younger, they
probably would think maybe I wasa confident person, because I
was always kind of like that, Iguess, like that black sheep,
like don't tell me I can't dothat, and I would do it, you
know.
But I don't know if that was ahealthy confidence either.
I mean, I guess it wasn't bad,but I wasn't deep inside, I
(10:53):
wasn't confident.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
If that makes sense You're more so like rebellious.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I can't do something, I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I'll do it and I'll make it happen.
And I've always kind of carriedthat, which probably helps with
where I am as an entrepreneur.
I see things not as I can't dobut as a challenge how can we do
this and accomplish this goal?
But I definitely was inside.
I was not confident and, to behonest and we haven't talked
about this at all Like I thinkthat my confidence really came
(11:27):
when you and me got married,because you believed me more
than anybody and it wasn't likeI had to sell myself to you,
like to get you to buy into whatI was doing.
It was like no, like you got toknow me personally and you
believed in me.
I mean, mrs Killer B talked meinto going to college when I was
like I was always heard thatcollege wasn't needed and I know
(11:49):
we're in a different, differentgeneration now where there's so
many opportunities to learn, socollege isn't the only option.
But back then it was alwayslike you don't need to go to
college, you need to go get afactory job.
You know stuff like that.
And she really encouraged me togo to college for something
that I loved and I was like,really, and she's like, yeah, I
think you should.
So she supported that, did that.
(12:11):
You've always been there toencourage me and running the
business and the things thatwe've been doing, so I think
that has really helped me.
But what I think what really setme over on the confidence was
as, actually, when we reallystarted leaning into our faith
more and trusting God, where itreally started changing I mean a
lot as Christians a lot ofverse, like a verse that we
(12:34):
probably all if you're aChristian, you probably know
this verse.
It's common.
It's Philippians 4.13.
And here's what it says.
I just opened up my Bible on myphone.
It says for I can do everythingthrough Christ, who gives me
strength.
But I think where confidence forme really comes through is not
just in that verse, but in theverses before.
And this is us through walkingthrough our journey, like when I
(12:55):
lost my job and couldn't get ajob and God was providing and we
learned at that time that wedidn't have to have all this
stuff.
We could have very little andlive a happy life and actually
be even happier.
And the verses before that.
This is what really helped mein the confidence level with
where we are today.
It says in verse 11, not that Iwas ever in need for.
(13:20):
I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have,
and that started helping theconfidence side too, because I
would feel like I'm a failurebecause we didn't have certain
things.
Then it goes on.
It says I know how to live onalmost nothing or with
everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it is with a fullstomach or empty stomach, with
(13:41):
plenty or little, for I can doeverything through Christ, who
gives me strength.
So that really I feel likereally started changing a
confidence level, because itwasn't as much about what I did,
what I could do, but about itwas about my faith.
Where I put my faith and beingconfident even in learning
through that journey.
As we get older, is there aseason that we had very little
(14:03):
and some of those seasons werethe happiest seasons and it was
like, okay, I'm confident andnot in my own doings, but in
god's plan that's definitelywhere my confidence grew into a
deeper.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You know more um.
Maybe a more sustainable thingis when I learned my identity
through jesus.
Um you learning that it doesn'teven come down to what I can or
can't do, or the skills I do ordon't have.
You know what he puts before ushe'll equip us for and yeah so
(14:36):
that um gives me a lot ofconfidence to walk through my
life too.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Let me ask you this, mrs Killer Bee like what are
some of the like, what are someof the I guess positive impacts
of being confident?
Like maybe that you could see,like what are some of the
positives?
I know we want to talk aboutstaying humble and all that
stuff, so let's talk about someof the, some of the positive
impacts that being confident cando.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
The two, the two most important things for me that I
would not have recognized thishad I not gone through these
times of insecurity.
Because the difference in theway I talk to myself in my head
that's the first thing is thatwhen I would start feeling
insecure about different things,the things that I was saying to
(15:20):
myself were so toxic that itwas like I was spiraling and I
couldn't get myself out of it.
So that was a big difference.
That was something that I hadnot dealt with before.
When Mr Killer Beast startedlearning about your inner voice,
like how you talk to yourself,your thought patterns we had a
(15:43):
long talk about it and do youwant to say what you said to me
about?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, it was really.
It's interesting that you evenbrought this up because, I mean,
just recently I was talkingabout dealing with thoughts that
are even coming to my headright now and realizing, like
these are strongholds.
We can become confident, but wewe can still fall backwards and
lose some of that confidence ifwe're not aware of what's going
on.
So, just like I said, it waslike last week I told you I've
noticed I've been dealing withthese strongholds and I've got
(16:12):
to move beyond that and that'sspending time with God and
praying and realizing who I am,with who he says I am.
Now, when you come down to thevoices in our head, that sounds
kind of creepy, doesn't it?
The voices in our head, but weall have everybody has.
We have an inner we all havevoices in our head.
Anybody here have voices intheir head.
Let's make me feel really okay.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes, all right, all right, cool, all right or at
least a voice in your head, avoice in your head, you talk to
yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I think that when we talked about that, it was very
interesting, because your voiceyou is always positive and and I
told you, like wow, my voice isreally really negative.
Like'm really, I'm probably myworst critic.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
You definitely are your worst critic.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, and you found that interesting too, that we
have these different types ofvoices, and I also realized that
those voices sometimes has itsown tone, depending on maybe
somebody or something that maybeinfluenced that, those thoughts
.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So yeah, sometimes the influence in your life.
Can you hear that over and overover yourself like you know,
something negative, that someonespoke over you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
You can continue to hear that throughout your life
but, um, I think it's great tobring that up because it's like
it's.
This is a good thing to talkabout, because then we know
we're not alone in this.
We're all.
We all are going through ourown unique journeys and we all
have and deal with these things.
So it's great to talk about itbecause it lets us all realize
we're not alone in this andwe're a lot more.
(17:35):
We're all a lot more alike thanwe probably realize.
I think I saw.
I think, textpap, did you havesomething you wanted to share
about?
Yeah, you want to bring up themic, arcane, if you want to come
up, yeah, share us, like whatis a positive impact that comes
to your mind for being confident.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
So I was going to come up earlier, but I'm not
very confident, and that's not ajoke, that's really the truth.
But I realize, of course, mosteverybody here knows who I am
and what I've done and what I do, and a while back I'm probably
when I first started ministering, uh, I didn't feel equipped, I
(18:12):
didn't feel I was the rightperson, I didn't feel I spoke
eloquently enough and I startedrealizing that, you know, god is
a source.
If he's giving me the purpose,then he'd be, he'd be a liar and
crazy not to see his ownpurpose through right.
So I, so I started relying onhim and what I realized is that
and I'm still very reserved, I'mstill very shy, I'm still very
(18:35):
questioning my own abilities,but when I turn it over to him,
I get that boldness.
And I've gone back and listenedto my own messages and go, wow,
did I really say that?
Well, no, the Lord said itthrough me, but that's the thing
he equipped me.
But what I've learned is mytakeaway.
The positive of this is people,naturally, are drawn to
(18:55):
confidence.
If you're confident people aredrawn to you and fortunate for
me that I'm not a confidentperson.
But because his confidence getsto shine through me, then
people will listen to what Ihave to say, even when sometimes
I don't listen to myself, towhat I have to say, because it's
(19:17):
like, oh no, that can't be.
Thanks, tex.
Thanks for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Hi Jen Smash, how are you?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Great great.
I want to say you guys gave methe confidence, especially you,
Killer B.
You introduced me to my firstamputee person in here.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I am a double amputee .
Speaker 4 (19:34):
So Jeff Lacey, if you can remember, gave me the
confidence to really figure outyeah, I think I need to build a
world for amputees in here.
So I went a little further withmy confidence and I started
putting myself in the positionand showing some reels of me in
(19:59):
the metaverse as an amputee andhow it changed my life.
It got all the way to theNational Amputee Coalition.
I had a meeting today and thisis why I came to see you.
The National Coalition isactually watching me and would
like to put me on their nationalstage.
I have to do some work andstuff, so it's all to you guys.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Oh man, that's amazing.
And you?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
gave me the confidence that I can do and
change a person with an amputeelife in the metaverse and I want
to say thank you guys for thelove and support and, yes, you
guys gave me confidence andbecause of you I'm doing this,
so thank you so much.
Is that incredible?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I'm speechless and I'm crying inside my headset.
That is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
This is why it's so importantto step out Like I feel, like
you know we're all have.
We all should be confident andand you're going to grow in that
and it's not easy, but there'sa reason.
You have a purpose for whyyou're here, so don't ever
neglect that.
Lean into people that want tosupport you and be with that.
(21:10):
Thank you, jen, so much forsharing that.
I'm so honored to even to be apart of that so humble yeah,
that's amazing let's hear yourquestion come on up will you
tell us?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
how to pronounce your name yeah, it's vargas I would
have never got that yeah, no,normally vargas is not spelled
that way, it's v-a-r-g-a-s, butyeah, yeah that's kind of the
cooler way, I guess.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I mean, I can't pronounce anybody's name.
The only way I got hers isbecause I'm actually the one
that made it so well.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Thanks for joining us , I'm still new to this group,
so yeah, oh yeah, well, hey,we're here.
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
We love that you're here.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
We've not been here for three months and now we'll
be here every Thursday, so we'rekind of new to kind of like.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I was kind of like what Texas Pats was was talking
about too in a way.
I recently, not too long agobecame a youth pastor and so
it's all like it's, definitelyit's.
I've been a youth leader forlike years but like actually
stepping into a role of a youthpastor, it's actually a little
(22:12):
bit different than just being ayouth leader.
And you do a little bit morethan what you normally do as a
youth leader.
Me I do struggle with.
Am I like what he was saying?
Like, am I, am I speaking theright words out, you know?
Or is anybody getting what I'msaying?
(22:35):
Is it, is it penetrating hearts, you know?
And I also like I guess I don'tknow if this just kind of I
don't, I don't want to go offtopic, but like also like the
difference between, differencebetween being confident and not
being prideful, I guess, if thatmakes sense.
And so I mean, I guess that'ssomething that I kind of battle
(22:57):
with, like, am I being pridefulor am I being confident, you
know?
And that's kind of one of thethings that I like I kind of
question a lot about myself,like the whole inner, inner
voice thing talking to you likelike, oh well, you're being too
prideful right now, but I'm like, well, am I, though?
I mean like I don't know if Iam or not.
I don't feel like I am.
(23:18):
I don't want to be obviously Um, but also just like being able
to like um.
Like, for instance, I don'twant to take up too much time,
but just to share just to sharejust a little little bit of a
story.
I Uber sometimes to make extraincome and I was.
I ended up picking up a coupleof teens that just got off of
(23:40):
work, right, and on my profile Iput, you know, I put I can rap
but I can't freestyle.
And then I put I love theKansas City Chiefs, and then I
also put youth pastor, right,and I didn't think anybody.
You know, I don't think I'mlike in my mind, I'm like nobody
(24:00):
looks at your profiles right,just like they want to drive or
boom, pick me up, take me home,you know.
And so it was just cool, causethe first thing that they did,
cause I haven't made a song inlike three years, and so what
they did was like the firstthing they did.
They came in and they're likehey, wrap something for me, and
it like threw me on the spot, soI'm like my heart my heart
(24:22):
started pounding.
Like Whoa hold on guys, and eventhe guy that was in, uh, like
there was a girl in the, in aguy, and he was like he's, like,
he said he can't freestyle,right.
And so I was like, well, I said, I have, I have some songs that
I can show you.
And like I ended up showingthem the songs and it was just
like how like they were, justlike wow, they were just blowing
(24:42):
away, right.
And so I'm like, I'm like in mymind, I'm thinking yeah, it's
your inner voice, right.
And so my inner voice is tellingme I mean, you're not that good
.
But then I always get peopletelling me like you really can
do that, like you don't know howgood you are, and I'm just like
(25:03):
okay, cool, you know, it kindof does build compliments,
because I'm like after that, itjust like made my night and I'm
like wow, wow, god.
You know, people think that Ido a good job and I'm thinking
to myself I'm like I don't do avery good job, you know.
So I don't know.
It was just a little, a littlelittle story of like being like
(25:23):
it helped me build my confidence.
Knowing like random strangersare like whoa, wow, you sound
really good, and I'm thinking doI really sound good?
But then it's like thatconfidence is like okay, I do
sound good.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I just need to believe myself a little bit more
.
You know, this is the thing Iwant to give you some confidence
too, or at least pass on thissource of confidence.
I have found that when you takethe time to submit yourself to
the Lord, like take some time topray before you're going to
speak, even before you're goingto have a conversation with
somebody, even if it seems toyou like what you have said is
complete nonsense, it'sunbelievable what God does
(26:02):
through those things.
And what popped into my brainor talking, was, you know, the
Asbury revival.
Do you know how it started?
By any chance, okay, so it wasjust a normal chapel service and
the guy was a guest speaker andhe went up and talked and he
felt like he completely bombed.
(26:23):
But at the end he just feltlike the Lord wanted him to say
you can't do ministry until youare in love with Jesus.
So if you do not feel like youare in love with Jesus, then I
would just encourage you to come, pray and talk to him and go
forward out of your ministryfrom that place.
(26:44):
And that started the revival.
And it's amazing to me to thinkthat when God has something for
you to do, he will make thatthing happen if you are
submitted to him.
And it does not matter what yousay, it doesn't matter if you
think you are bumbling and Ifeel like that all the time
because you know I get excited,I start babbling.
(27:04):
Just beautiful things happenwhen you just submit yourself to
the Lord and realize thatnothing that's happening is from
your own strength anyhow.
So you can't mess it up, youcan't make it happen, you can
just be you, and that's who Godmade you to be.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Um, it's really, uh, yeah, it's really a powerful
thing and absolutely I mean itdoes.
I mean that's exactly likeeverything you just said, like
it's true.
Um, I, I don't completely, Imean myself, I don't completely
always be like oh, I'm notconfident, but like when stuff
does happen, I'm just like itreassures me like you are doing
(27:40):
the right things, you know youare saying the right things, you
know, just, and it's like Godreassure me, like be confident
in who you are, in me, you knowand so, amen, your wrapping was
given to you, your gift ofwrapping was given to you to
reach specific people, so don'tdampen that life.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
If you want to know if you're good, let me rap for
you in a little bit and thenyou'll be like, oh okay.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
I got it.
Yes, scott, thank you forgiving me that gift.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You obviously did not give Mr Killer Bee that at all,
that's true, no it's true,thank you Thank you for sharing
that.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's awesome.
So what's interesting?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
about that is.
I love that, even here at thestudio you know our studio this
is something I think I wouldencourage us all to kind of soak
in for a minute.
Really, like, we all havepurposes in our life and
sometimes and sometimes we getsome things wrong.
So sure, you know, like, evenin our company we have a purpose
statement, and even here in thestudio we have a purpose.
Our purpose in the back says toconnect, share, transform.
(28:40):
Now let me clarify somethingthat we've learned, and you
might find this helpful too, asa new youth pastor.
Our focus here is to connectwith people.
Connect to people just like you, from all around the world.
This is a great technology thatwe can use to connect to people
, and we do that all to have anopportunity to share our life
(29:00):
experiences, like we're doingright now.
This is a conversation that wewere having in our living room
and we're like, hey, let's goand talk about this and share
this with other people, becausewe're probably not alone going
through this and we haveopportunities to share those
life experiences.
Sometimes it opens up a doorthat we can share our God
experiences to what God isteaching us, and we know there's
people in here.
That's not Christians, that'stotally fine.
(29:21):
We all have differentexperiences to come and talk and
share Our life experiences.
All can cross over and we canlearn from each other.
But well, the last thing wastransformation.
The one thing I had to realizeis transformation that's what we
love to see, but that's not onus.
The one thing I had to realizeis transformation that's what we
love to see, but that's not onus.
That's not on us.
That's God to do.
That's between thoseindividuals and God.
(29:44):
Whatever's going on in our life, we cannot transform people,
and that gave me a lot of relief, especially as a speaker.
To go and speak at churches andstuff.
I don't think about thatanymore because it's like God
only thing.
I dealt with that a long timeago.
I did not expect to share this,but years ago I felt like you
know, I was supposed to preachand I for a long time said God,
I can't do this.
(30:04):
I have done so many thingswrong and I had done a lot.
And when I was praying, here'swhat I heard God tell me All I
want you to do is tell yourstory, that's it.
You're a storyteller and I'mlike I can do that.
I've got experiences with beingcalled a preacher or anything
like that.
That just didn't set right forme.
(30:25):
I had hurts and stuff and whenGod told me, I just want you to
be a storyteller, just shareyour story, share what I've done
in your life, and I learnedthat if I approach it from that
side, I don't have to feelconfident about anything because
it's my story, it's what Godhas given me, it's my
experiences.
I'm just sharing it and sharingwhat God has shown me to get
through that and then I let Goddo the rest.
So I take that pressure all offof me.
(30:47):
But we can do that in so manyareas of our life and that's
when the confidence startschanging, because it's not
confidence in me, it'sconfidence that I know I'm
obeying and letting God do therest and it changes.
It's changed our life.
The one of the things I thinkof like when it like a positive
impact from being more confidentit would be I think it helps us
(31:09):
make better decisions, notafraid to make decisions and
step out, but also can help evenstrengthen our relationships
too.
Someone I met just at aconference was all dressed up,
all spiffy, had like a sportsjacket on, and he seen me that
day that I was dressed up.
There was one day that I wasdressed up pretty nice.
I think I might've saw you thatday.
Don had a nice white dressshirt on like no tie I don't do
(31:31):
ties, but I had that and someblack jeans kind of like what I
have on right now, basicallyActually, yeah, but I had that
and some black jeans kind oflike what I have on right now,
basically yeah, yeah.
And uh, the this person sat downwith me and he said he said I
can tell like you're, so I cantell you're confident.
I was like why is that?
He's like it takes confidenceto dress up like this and put
yourself out there.
(31:51):
I'm like actually I askedShauna, mrs Killer Bee, do you
think this looks all right?
That's all I was going for.
I was like I don't want to.
It didn't really affect myconfidence, but some people feel
like they dress for success andstuff like that and I'm like
that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was like but this is about a dress, she's like
yeah, the funny.
Thing is you usually dress socasually that I think that takes
more confidence.
Like you know, he's goingaround to meetings in his shorts
and flip flops and I'm like seehe knows who he is and what
he's got to offer.
Like that's what he wears.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It was totally different this time.
I was like I want to wear anice shirt and jeans and it
wasn't.
It wasn't to say anything, Ijust wanted.
I just felt like I wanted todress up for the occasion and I
was not confident at all.
That's why I kept asking youand you gave me that confidence
and you said, babe, you look hot, you should go out there.
I was like, oh thanks, it's notexactly what you said, but
that's the way I heard it.
That was a great inner voicethat was three years only let's
(32:44):
uh, before we wrap up, I do wantto ask, like, what do you think
?
Do you think or what do youthink are some of the risk of
becoming overconfident?
I know, uh, vr was alreadytouching on that a little bit
about pride, vargas.
So yeah, vargas.
Yes, see, I just choose thefirst two letters YV, pi, ch.
(33:05):
Do D what do you think are someof the risks of being
overconfident, like pride andstuff?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Well, I think yeah, pride and arrogance and
separating yourself from peopleis what I think is the biggest
risk, Because I know that whenpeople make me feel like it
doesn't matter what I have tosay, they're not going to listen
to me, no matter what, then Ifeel separated from them, like
(33:33):
we're not in this together, youknow.
So I think that's the biggestrisk, because connection is so
important to me.
You know so, when people actlike you know, I got this all
figured out and I don't needanybody, then it's hard to
connect with them.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That's so true, and we weren't created to do this
stuff alone, and I think it's.
You know, that's interestingtoo, because I felt like both
know connection, we loveconnection, and I notice there's
people that are what do youcall them?
They said extroverts andintroverts, and sometimes
introverts don't like to bearound the crowd, which we get,
that too.
But I think, even as introverts, you probably do.
You have any introverts here inthe house, here in the studio?
(34:09):
Okay, yeah, now, you guysprobably all.
Let me know if I'm right hereby throwing some confetti.
But how many of you introverts?
Okay, let me see the introvertsagain.
Let me see One, two, three,four.
We have four.
Okay, five, okay.
So let me ask you this All ourintroverts here?
Do you guys all have a closegroup of friends that you feel
(34:30):
like you can share things with?
Hey, throw some confetti, I see, okay.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
All right.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
All right, yeah, okay , it looks like.
It looks like all of them.
That's the beautiful thing, Ithink.
I think, as introverts we evenhave, we have people that we
connect with.
Connection is so important, andI think that those connections
actually help us build ourconfidence too, and I think it's
that's an important piece of itso.
I think that even being willingto ask yourself am I being
(34:56):
prideful, that's showingsomething.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Probably not yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
You're probably not, you're aware of say not that you
might not be heading down thatroute, but you're aware of it
and you're asking questions andI think that's where I started
heading down it and me MrsKillery talked about it and
that's the great thing is,you're you're growing, and we
all do that, and it changes inthe seasons we're in.
I want to encourage you guys,like you know, confidence, when
you think of confidence,confidence is not about being
(35:24):
fearless.
It's not about being fearlessand that's something I I think I
struggle with for a long time.
When you feel like you'reafraid, it doesn't have to do
with being fearless.
It doesn't.
It doesn being fearless.
It doesn't always mean that youhave the right answers either.
That's not confidence.
It grows, as we were talkingabout.
Confidence grows as we becomemore aware, aware of who we are,
(35:48):
who you are.
For me, as a Christian we'vealready been talking about this
For me, as a Christian, when Ithink about confidence, I've
become more aware of who I am,because I've been growing to
understand how God has uniquelycreated me and how much he loves
me.
But that's a growth that takestime and, just like building any
(36:12):
kind of relationship with evena person here.
It's not easy and it takes thatintention being intentional
about that growth.
So I want to encourage you guysif you're struggling with
confidence, if you're strugglingwith it we all have those
seasons where we're notstruggling with it and sometimes
it kind of creeps back in Ifyou're struggling I want to
encourage you to seek God outmore, even if you're not a
(36:35):
Christian like you're like Idon't know about this God thing.
That's fine.
Ask him.
Ask him to help you see who heis and how he sees you, so you
can embrace that worth andpurpose that God has for you,
because each one of us here hasa unique purpose.
So I want to encourage you todo that.
We love that everybody came out.
Thank you, mrs Kilby, forbringing us such a great topic
(36:58):
and being open to talk aboutthis.
No-transcript.
I've always felt like I had good self-confidence and
that I was, you know, not tooworried about what other people
thought about me and things likethat.
And just more recently, withinthe last year or so, I've
struggled a little bit more withinsecurity, with questioning my
worth, with questioning mypurpose.
I am a confident person, butlately I have been struggling a
(00:25):
little more.
I don't want to be arrogant,but I do want to have a quiet
confidence.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
I'm Brian Curie.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer
Bee, in virtual reality.
So this podcast is recordedlive from the metaverse at the
Killer Bee Studios where reallife stories and God experiences
are shared in a way only themetaverse at the Kilder Beach
Studios, where real life storiesand God experiences are shared
in a way only the metaverse canoffer.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's
episode.
Tonight, our topic is going tobe how confident are you?
And it's really.
How confident are you really?
So I'm going to ask you guysthis by throwing some confetti,
let me know who in the audiencehere would say that you've
(01:08):
struggled with confidence before.
How many of you have everbought or picked up one of those
or went to the library and gotone of those self-help books?
I've, I've done that, yeah,okay, yeah, yeah.
So I'll tell you a secret.
I've learned Sometimes selfcan't help self.
But we're excited to have thistalk tonight.
Me and Mrs Killer Bee wastalking about some things and
(01:30):
actually won't you go ahead, mrsKiller Bee, would you like to
share for everybody how thistopic came up?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, I would.
So I was having I went on agirl's trip with two of my
closest friends from Ohio, twoof my oldest friends as well,
and we were just having a lot ofconversations about kind of
learning who you are and kind ofstepping into your purpose and
(01:59):
we've talked, you know, ingeneral a lot about our past and
things that have happened andalso things that are changing
like as we're getting older.
You know, two of us are in ourforties, one of them is getting
closer to the forties and, youknow, things start changing.
What is surprising to me isthere are times where I feel
(02:22):
more insecure than I used toLike.
I've always felt like I hadgood self-confidence and that I
was, you know, not too worriedabout what other people thought
about me and things like that.
And just more recently, withinthe last year or so, I've
struggled a little bit more withinsecurity, with questioning my
worth, with questioning mypurpose, things like that, with
(02:44):
questioning my worth, withquestioning my purpose, things
like that.
And so, as we're kind oftalking through some of these
things, I said, you know I am aconfident person, but lately I
have been struggling a littlemore.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
When I think of confidence, I think of Dwayne
Johnson.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
He's very confident in what he does, and if you've
ever seen him in person, hasanybody ever seen him in person
before Dwayne Johnson?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I can say yes.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We can say yes, you guys want to hear a quick little
story?
There's this little diner thatpeople told us was really good.
We went there and ate and thistime, when we were there, there
was this person sitting rightbehind me and he had his hat
tipped down and the lady thatwas sitting with them, and I
think they had like a little, alittle child with them too.
They were all back there andthey, they all had hats and like
kind of leaned down and thewaitress.
(03:30):
Whenever we get up, you had towalk to the bathroom, you had to
go by them.
Well, they would purposely likecircle us around the restroom
like steer us around.
And I came back out and I'm likeman, that guy must be a jerk,
like he even like let hisgirlfriend or wife or whoever
this is, want to even look atanybody.
But then I saw his arms and I'mlike I'm not saying nothing to
(03:50):
this guy.
He would snap me like a twigand I sat back down.
I mean huge.
And I sat back down and he'slike right behind me and we
talked and then once he left, hewent out the back like the back
doors, they all did.
The waitress came out and saidyou guys won't believe, do you
guys know who that was rightbehind you?
And we're like, no, I'mthinking some jerk.
She showed us a picture.
(04:11):
She's like that was DwayneJohnson, the rock.
I was like oh my gosh, I couldsmell what the rock was eating
right behind me.
It was amazing.
But that's basically it.
But no, when I think confidence, you like, I'm like you seem
like a really confident person.
All right, that's what I like,a visual of it.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
But interesting thing to think about there is, you
know, when you learn about hislife.
He had a lot of failures and soyeah, that's so true.
Interesting thing.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Well, okay, Mrs Killer B.
As Okay, Mrs Killer Bee, as wego back into how this topic came
up.
You said you looked at yourselfas being a confident person,
correct?
Yes, Okay, so tell us.
Share with us what happened,like what happened next, in your
guys' conversation.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Okay.
So when I said that my onefriend in particular she said
that I did not seem like aconfident person to her she
didn't think I seemed confident.
So that surprised me.
But you know, in part I thinkit's because, you know, you have
different relationships withdifferent people and part of our
(05:15):
dynamic is we talk through ourpast and stuff like that, and so
that was what she specificallysaid is some things that she
felt like I put up with in mypast showed her that I didn't
have the self-confidence to stopthose things.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
So this is what interesting on the conversation.
This is where we stopped, causelike, hey, let's bring this
into the studios, talk aboutthis during new horizons.
Cause I think, as we all seen,everybody was throwing confetti
that they've struggled withconfidence.
But I would like to ask youwhen this came up and they kind
of acknowledged that they didn'tsee you as a confident person,
how did that make you feel anddid it affect your confidence at
(05:54):
that moment?
Did it start changing a littlebit because of what maybe your
friends say?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
No, it actually didn't make me feel less
confident.
It didn't.
What it made me thinkspecifically was she just
doesn't know.
That part of me, like.
What she said didn't make medoubt myself, because I know
myself better than she knows meand I thought well, you just
(06:19):
don't know me that.
Well then, do you?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I think that that is beautiful, because I think it
even takes a confident person toto receive that that way,
because if you're not, I mean wecan be.
There's different levels ofconfidence and especially if
your friends or family membersthat are close to you you feel
confident but then they doubtyour confidence, that can very
easily if you're not likeunderstanding, like hey, they
(06:43):
don't know the me inside and howI look at things at life all
the way and how I handle things,that could affect, I think,
your confidence there.
Like maybe you're thinkingmaybe I've made a wrong decision
, maybe I'm not as confident asI thought I was.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, even because I'm not sure how often people
really talk to each other abouthow confident they are.
But I think people in your lifecan knock on your confidence by
doubting that you can do thething that you feel like you
want to do, the thing you weremade to do.
So if they say you can't dothat, you're not good at that,
then that can bring down yourconfidence.
And you know my favoritestories to read about people are
(07:22):
people who have a vision andthey go forward with it, whether
everyone says they can't do itor whether everyone says you're
not good at that.
You know it's.
It's fascinating that somepeople have that drive in
themselves to say, despite whateverybody says, I know this is
what I'm going to do, and theyovercome obstacles and they
(07:45):
overcome failures.
And that's inspiring to mebecause you know there have been
times in the past where someonesaid you're not good at that
and I thought, okay, I'll justmove on to something else.
And you know who knows what youmiss out on if you let other
people decide what you are goingto do in your life.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Where do you feel like your confidence really
started being birthed?
Like where do you feel likethat starts and I know, I know
we've already said like it'skind of grown as we grow as
adults in our life?
I mean, when I was younger, myconfidence is way different than
where it is today.
So where did that start for you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Okay, so we'll start with me, but then I want to hear
about that with you in yourlife too.
For me, so I did not grow upreally in church.
My parents weren't believers,but it started with the identity
that my parents gave me becauseI grew up in the generation I
was born in 1980.
(08:41):
So my parents weren't overly,overly, you know, complimentary.
They weren't, you know, tellingme like you're amazing, but
they had such a quiet confidencein me and they showed me that
in little ways, like you know astory that I've been telling a
lot lately as I've been talkingthrough these things Because
(09:03):
spoiler alert at the end, thewhole point of this conversation
for me is to find the balancebetween confidence and humility,
to understand that I don't wantto be arrogant, but I do want
to have a quiet confidence.
So I just want to put that outthere real quick.
But my dad, I remember thisspecific time when I was having
(09:27):
trouble with this big like,imagine like a big 1980s like
receiver, a radio, you know, andI was having trouble with it.
I couldn't get it to work.
I got real mad.
I went into my dad and I waslike, oh, I can't fix this thing
, it's broken and I can't fix it.
And he just said very calmlyI've never heard you say you
(09:50):
can't do anything.
And it kind of took me aback.
Even at that young age I thoughtto myself he thinks I can do
anything.
So I went up and fixed it.
I just did it because that'sall I needed.
Apparently.
It was just like a little boostto say, well, if he thinks I
can do it, I can.
That's kind of how my parentsraised me and my siblings and as
(10:13):
I look back, I just grew upwith a confidence that I could
do what I put my mind to.
And so that's where it startedfor me.
Do you want to talk about, likeyour confidence, how you think
it started, and then we can kindof talk about as we've gotten
older.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, I definitely would like to share that Because
I mean, if a lot of people knewme when I was younger, they
probably would think maybe I wasa confident person, because I
was always kind of like that, Iguess, like that black sheep,
like don't tell me I can't dothat, and I would do it, you
know.
But I don't know if that was ahealthy confidence either.
I mean, I guess it wasn't bad,but I wasn't deep inside, I
(10:53):
wasn't confident.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
If that makes sense You're more so like rebellious.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I can't do something, I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I'll do it and I'll make it happen.
And I've always kind of carriedthat, which probably helps with
where I am as an entrepreneur.
I see things not as I can't dobut as a challenge how can we do
this and accomplish this goal?
But I definitely was inside.
I was not confident and, to behonest and we haven't talked
about this at all Like I thinkthat my confidence really came
(11:27):
when you and me got married,because you believed me more
than anybody and it wasn't likeI had to sell myself to you,
like to get you to buy into whatI was doing.
It was like no, like you got toknow me personally and you
believed in me.
I mean, mrs Killer B talked meinto going to college when I was
like I was always heard thatcollege wasn't needed and I know
(11:49):
we're in a different, differentgeneration now where there's so
many opportunities to learn, socollege isn't the only option.
But back then it was alwayslike you don't need to go to
college, you need to go get afactory job.
You know stuff like that.
And she really encouraged me togo to college for something
that I loved and I was like,really, and she's like, yeah, I
think you should.
So she supported that, did that.
(12:11):
You've always been there toencourage me and running the
business and the things thatwe've been doing, so I think
that has really helped me.
But what I think what really setme over on the confidence was
as, actually, when we reallystarted leaning into our faith
more and trusting God, where itreally started changing I mean a
lot as Christians a lot ofverse, like a verse that we
(12:34):
probably all if you're aChristian, you probably know
this verse.
It's common.
It's Philippians 4.13.
And here's what it says.
I just opened up my Bible on myphone.
It says for I can do everythingthrough Christ, who gives me
strength.
But I think where confidence forme really comes through is not
just in that verse, but in theverses before.
And this is us through walkingthrough our journey, like when I
(12:55):
lost my job and couldn't get ajob and God was providing and we
learned at that time that wedidn't have to have all this
stuff.
We could have very little andlive a happy life and actually
be even happier.
And the verses before that.
This is what really helped mein the confidence level with
where we are today.
It says in verse 11, not that Iwas ever in need for.
(13:20):
I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have,
and that started helping theconfidence side too, because I
would feel like I'm a failurebecause we didn't have certain
things.
Then it goes on.
It says I know how to live onalmost nothing or with
everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it is with a fullstomach or empty stomach, with
(13:41):
plenty or little, for I can doeverything through Christ, who
gives me strength.
So that really I feel likereally started changing a
confidence level, because itwasn't as much about what I did,
what I could do, but about itwas about my faith.
Where I put my faith and beingconfident even in learning
through that journey.
As we get older, is there aseason that we had very little
(14:03):
and some of those seasons werethe happiest seasons and it was
like, okay, I'm confident andnot in my own doings, but in
god's plan that's definitelywhere my confidence grew into a
deeper.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You know more um.
Maybe a more sustainable thingis when I learned my identity
through jesus.
Um you learning that it doesn'teven come down to what I can or
can't do, or the skills I do ordon't have.
You know what he puts before ushe'll equip us for and yeah so
(14:36):
that um gives me a lot ofconfidence to walk through my
life too.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Let me ask you this, mrs Killer Bee like what are
some of the like, what are someof the I guess positive impacts
of being confident?
Like maybe that you could see,like what are some of the
positives?
I know we want to talk aboutstaying humble and all that
stuff, so let's talk about someof the, some of the positive
impacts that being confident cando.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
The two, the two most important things for me that I
would not have recognized thishad I not gone through these
times of insecurity.
Because the difference in theway I talk to myself in my head
that's the first thing is thatwhen I would start feeling
insecure about different things,the things that I was saying to
(15:20):
myself were so toxic that itwas like I was spiraling and I
couldn't get myself out of it.
So that was a big difference.
That was something that I hadnot dealt with before.
When Mr Killer Beast startedlearning about your inner voice,
like how you talk to yourself,your thought patterns we had a
(15:43):
long talk about it and do youwant to say what you said to me
about?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, it was really.
It's interesting that you evenbrought this up because, I mean,
just recently I was talkingabout dealing with thoughts that
are even coming to my headright now and realizing, like
these are strongholds.
We can become confident, but wewe can still fall backwards and
lose some of that confidence ifwe're not aware of what's going
on.
So, just like I said, it waslike last week I told you I've
noticed I've been dealing withthese strongholds and I've got
(16:12):
to move beyond that and that'sspending time with God and
praying and realizing who I am,with who he says I am.
Now, when you come down to thevoices in our head, that sounds
kind of creepy, doesn't it?
The voices in our head, but weall have everybody has.
We have an inner we all havevoices in our head.
Anybody here have voices intheir head.
Let's make me feel really okay.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes, all right, all right, cool, all right or at
least a voice in your head, avoice in your head, you talk to
yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I think that when we talked about that, it was very
interesting, because your voiceyou is always positive and and I
told you, like wow, my voice isreally really negative.
Like'm really, I'm probably myworst critic.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
You definitely are your worst critic.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, and you found that interesting too, that we
have these different types ofvoices, and I also realized that
those voices sometimes has itsown tone, depending on maybe
somebody or something that maybeinfluenced that, those thoughts
.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So yeah, sometimes the influence in your life.
Can you hear that over and overover yourself like you know,
something negative, that someonespoke over you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
You can continue to hear that throughout your life
but, um, I think it's great tobring that up because it's like
it's.
This is a good thing to talkabout, because then we know
we're not alone in this.
We're all.
We all are going through ourown unique journeys and we all
have and deal with these things.
So it's great to talk about itbecause it lets us all realize
we're not alone in this andwe're a lot more.
(17:35):
We're all a lot more alike thanwe probably realize.
I think I saw.
I think, textpap, did you havesomething you wanted to share
about?
Yeah, you want to bring up themic, arcane, if you want to come
up, yeah, share us, like whatis a positive impact that comes
to your mind for being confident.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
So I was going to come up earlier, but I'm not
very confident, and that's not ajoke, that's really the truth.
But I realize, of course, mosteverybody here knows who I am
and what I've done and what I do, and a while back I'm probably
when I first started ministering, uh, I didn't feel equipped, I
(18:12):
didn't feel I was the rightperson, I didn't feel I spoke
eloquently enough and I startedrealizing that, you know, god is
a source.
If he's giving me the purpose,then he'd be, he'd be a liar and
crazy not to see his ownpurpose through right.
So I, so I started relying onhim and what I realized is that
and I'm still very reserved, I'mstill very shy, I'm still very
(18:35):
questioning my own abilities,but when I turn it over to him,
I get that boldness.
And I've gone back and listenedto my own messages and go, wow,
did I really say that?
Well, no, the Lord said itthrough me, but that's the thing
he equipped me.
But what I've learned is mytakeaway.
The positive of this is people,naturally, are drawn to
(18:55):
confidence.
If you're confident people aredrawn to you and fortunate for
me that I'm not a confidentperson.
But because his confidence getsto shine through me, then
people will listen to what Ihave to say, even when sometimes
I don't listen to myself, towhat I have to say, because it's
(19:17):
like, oh no, that can't be.
Thanks, tex.
Thanks for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Hi Jen Smash, how are you?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Great great.
I want to say you guys gave methe confidence, especially you,
Killer B.
You introduced me to my firstamputee person in here.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I am a double amputee .
Speaker 4 (19:34):
So Jeff Lacey, if you can remember, gave me the
confidence to really figure outyeah, I think I need to build a
world for amputees in here.
So I went a little further withmy confidence and I started
putting myself in the positionand showing some reels of me in
(19:59):
the metaverse as an amputee andhow it changed my life.
It got all the way to theNational Amputee Coalition.
I had a meeting today and thisis why I came to see you.
The National Coalition isactually watching me and would
like to put me on their nationalstage.
I have to do some work andstuff, so it's all to you guys.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Oh man, that's amazing.
And you?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
gave me the confidence that I can do and
change a person with an amputeelife in the metaverse and I want
to say thank you guys for thelove and support and, yes, you
guys gave me confidence andbecause of you I'm doing this,
so thank you so much.
Is that incredible?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I'm speechless and I'm crying inside my headset.
That is so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
This is why it's so importantto step out Like I feel, like
you know we're all have.
We all should be confident andand you're going to grow in that
and it's not easy, but there'sa reason.
You have a purpose for whyyou're here, so don't ever
neglect that.
Lean into people that want tosupport you and be with that.
(21:10):
Thank you, jen, so much forsharing that.
I'm so honored to even to be apart of that so humble yeah,
that's amazing let's hear yourquestion come on up will you
tell us?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
how to pronounce your name yeah, it's vargas I would
have never got that yeah, no,normally vargas is not spelled
that way, it's v-a-r-g-a-s, butyeah, yeah that's kind of the
cooler way, I guess.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I mean, I can't pronounce anybody's name.
The only way I got hers isbecause I'm actually the one
that made it so well.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Thanks for joining us , I'm still new to this group,
so yeah, oh yeah, well, hey,we're here.
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
We love that you're here.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
We've not been here for three months and now we'll
be here every Thursday, so we'rekind of new to kind of like.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I was kind of like what Texas Pats was was talking
about too in a way.
I recently, not too long agobecame a youth pastor and so
it's all like it's, definitelyit's.
I've been a youth leader forlike years but like actually
stepping into a role of a youthpastor, it's actually a little
(22:12):
bit different than just being ayouth leader.
And you do a little bit morethan what you normally do as a
youth leader.
Me I do struggle with.
Am I like what he was saying?
Like, am I, am I speaking theright words out, you know?
Or is anybody getting what I'msaying?
(22:35):
Is it, is it penetrating hearts, you know?
And I also like I guess I don'tknow if this just kind of I
don't, I don't want to go offtopic, but like also like the
difference between, differencebetween being confident and not
being prideful, I guess, if thatmakes sense.
And so I mean, I guess that'ssomething that I kind of battle
(22:57):
with, like, am I being pridefulor am I being confident, you
know?
And that's kind of one of thethings that I like I kind of
question a lot about myself,like the whole inner, inner
voice thing talking to you likelike, oh well, you're being too
prideful right now, but I'm like, well, am I, though?
I mean like I don't know if Iam or not.
I don't feel like I am.
(23:18):
I don't want to be obviously Um, but also just like being able
to like um.
Like, for instance, I don'twant to take up too much time,
but just to share just to sharejust a little little bit of a
story.
I Uber sometimes to make extraincome and I was.
I ended up picking up a coupleof teens that just got off of
(23:40):
work, right, and on my profile Iput, you know, I put I can rap
but I can't freestyle.
And then I put I love theKansas City Chiefs, and then I
also put youth pastor, right,and I didn't think anybody.
You know, I don't think I'mlike in my mind, I'm like nobody
(24:00):
looks at your profiles right,just like they want to drive or
boom, pick me up, take me home,you know.
And so it was just cool, causethe first thing that they did,
cause I haven't made a song inlike three years, and so what
they did was like the firstthing they did.
They came in and they're likehey, wrap something for me, and
it like threw me on the spot, soI'm like my heart my heart
(24:22):
started pounding.
Like Whoa hold on guys, and eventhe guy that was in, uh, like
there was a girl in the, in aguy, and he was like he's, like,
he said he can't freestyle,right.
And so I was like, well, I said, I have, I have some songs that
I can show you.
And like I ended up showingthem the songs and it was just
like how like they were, justlike wow, they were just blowing
(24:42):
away, right.
And so I'm like, I'm like in mymind, I'm thinking yeah, it's
your inner voice, right.
And so my inner voice is tellingme I mean, you're not that good
.
But then I always get peopletelling me like you really can
do that, like you don't know howgood you are, and I'm just like
(25:03):
okay, cool, you know, it kindof does build compliments,
because I'm like after that, itjust like made my night and I'm
like wow, wow, god.
You know, people think that Ido a good job and I'm thinking
to myself I'm like I don't do avery good job, you know.
So I don't know.
It was just a little, a littlelittle story of like being like
(25:23):
it helped me build my confidence.
Knowing like random strangersare like whoa, wow, you sound
really good, and I'm thinking doI really sound good?
But then it's like thatconfidence is like okay, I do
sound good.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I just need to believe myself a little bit more
.
You know, this is the thing Iwant to give you some confidence
too, or at least pass on thissource of confidence.
I have found that when you takethe time to submit yourself to
the Lord, like take some time topray before you're going to
speak, even before you're goingto have a conversation with
somebody, even if it seems toyou like what you have said is
complete nonsense, it'sunbelievable what God does
(26:02):
through those things.
And what popped into my brainor talking, was, you know, the
Asbury revival.
Do you know how it started?
By any chance, okay, so it wasjust a normal chapel service and
the guy was a guest speaker andhe went up and talked and he
felt like he completely bombed.
(26:23):
But at the end he just feltlike the Lord wanted him to say
you can't do ministry until youare in love with Jesus.
So if you do not feel like youare in love with Jesus, then I
would just encourage you to come, pray and talk to him and go
forward out of your ministryfrom that place.
(26:44):
And that started the revival.
And it's amazing to me to thinkthat when God has something for
you to do, he will make thatthing happen if you are
submitted to him.
And it does not matter what yousay, it doesn't matter if you
think you are bumbling and Ifeel like that all the time
because you know I get excited,I start babbling.
(27:04):
Just beautiful things happenwhen you just submit yourself to
the Lord and realize thatnothing that's happening is from
your own strength anyhow.
So you can't mess it up, youcan't make it happen, you can
just be you, and that's who Godmade you to be.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Um, it's really, uh, yeah, it's really a powerful
thing and absolutely I mean itdoes.
I mean that's exactly likeeverything you just said, like
it's true.
Um, I, I don't completely, Imean myself, I don't completely
always be like oh, I'm notconfident, but like when stuff
does happen, I'm just like itreassures me like you are doing
(27:40):
the right things, you know youare saying the right things, you
know, just, and it's like Godreassure me, like be confident
in who you are, in me, you knowand so, amen, your wrapping was
given to you, your gift ofwrapping was given to you to
reach specific people, so don'tdampen that life.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
If you want to know if you're good, let me rap for
you in a little bit and thenyou'll be like, oh okay.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
I got it.
Yes, scott, thank you forgiving me that gift.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You obviously did not give Mr Killer Bee that at all,
that's true, no it's true,thank you Thank you for sharing
that.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's awesome.
So what's interesting?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
about that is.
I love that, even here at thestudio you know our studio this
is something I think I wouldencourage us all to kind of soak
in for a minute.
Really, like, we all havepurposes in our life and
sometimes and sometimes we getsome things wrong.
So sure, you know, like, evenin our company we have a purpose
statement, and even here in thestudio we have a purpose.
Our purpose in the back says toconnect, share, transform.
(28:40):
Now let me clarify somethingthat we've learned, and you
might find this helpful too, asa new youth pastor.
Our focus here is to connectwith people.
Connect to people just like you, from all around the world.
This is a great technology thatwe can use to connect to people
, and we do that all to have anopportunity to share our life
(29:00):
experiences, like we're doingright now.
This is a conversation that wewere having in our living room
and we're like, hey, let's goand talk about this and share
this with other people, becausewe're probably not alone going
through this and we haveopportunities to share those
life experiences.
Sometimes it opens up a doorthat we can share our God
experiences to what God isteaching us, and we know there's
people in here.
That's not Christians, that'stotally fine.
(29:21):
We all have differentexperiences to come and talk and
share Our life experiences.
All can cross over and we canlearn from each other.
But well, the last thing wastransformation.
The one thing I had to realizeis transformation that's what we
love to see, but that's not onus.
The one thing I had to realizeis transformation that's what we
love to see, but that's not onus.
That's not on us.
That's God to do.
That's between thoseindividuals and God.
(29:44):
Whatever's going on in our life, we cannot transform people,
and that gave me a lot of relief, especially as a speaker.
To go and speak at churches andstuff.
I don't think about thatanymore because it's like God
only thing.
I dealt with that a long timeago.
I did not expect to share this,but years ago I felt like you
know, I was supposed to preachand I for a long time said God,
I can't do this.
(30:04):
I have done so many thingswrong and I had done a lot.
And when I was praying, here'swhat I heard God tell me All I
want you to do is tell yourstory, that's it.
You're a storyteller and I'mlike I can do that.
I've got experiences with beingcalled a preacher or anything
like that.
That just didn't set right forme.
(30:25):
I had hurts and stuff and whenGod told me, I just want you to
be a storyteller, just shareyour story, share what I've done
in your life, and I learnedthat if I approach it from that
side, I don't have to feelconfident about anything because
it's my story, it's what Godhas given me, it's my
experiences.
I'm just sharing it and sharingwhat God has shown me to get
through that and then I let Goddo the rest.
So I take that pressure all offof me.
(30:47):
But we can do that in so manyareas of our life and that's
when the confidence startschanging, because it's not
confidence in me, it'sconfidence that I know I'm
obeying and letting God do therest and it changes.
It's changed our life.
The one of the things I thinkof like when it like a positive
impact from being more confidentit would be I think it helps us
(31:09):
make better decisions, notafraid to make decisions and
step out, but also can help evenstrengthen our relationships
too.
Someone I met just at aconference was all dressed up,
all spiffy, had like a sportsjacket on, and he seen me that
day that I was dressed up.
There was one day that I wasdressed up pretty nice.
I think I might've saw you thatday.
Don had a nice white dressshirt on like no tie I don't do
(31:31):
ties, but I had that and someblack jeans kind of like what I
have on right now, basicallyActually, yeah, but I had that
and some black jeans kind oflike what I have on right now,
basically yeah, yeah.
And uh, the this person sat downwith me and he said he said I
can tell like you're, so I cantell you're confident.
I was like why is that?
He's like it takes confidenceto dress up like this and put
yourself out there.
(31:51):
I'm like actually I askedShauna, mrs Killer Bee, do you
think this looks all right?
That's all I was going for.
I was like I don't want to.
It didn't really affect myconfidence, but some people feel
like they dress for success andstuff like that and I'm like
that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was like but this is about a dress, she's like
yeah, the funny.
Thing is you usually dress socasually that I think that takes
more confidence.
Like you know, he's goingaround to meetings in his shorts
and flip flops and I'm like seehe knows who he is and what
he's got to offer.
Like that's what he wears.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It was totally different this time.
I was like I want to wear anice shirt and jeans and it
wasn't.
It wasn't to say anything, Ijust wanted.
I just felt like I wanted todress up for the occasion and I
was not confident at all.
That's why I kept asking youand you gave me that confidence
and you said, babe, you look hot, you should go out there.
I was like, oh thanks, it's notexactly what you said, but
that's the way I heard it.
That was a great inner voicethat was three years only let's
(32:44):
uh, before we wrap up, I do wantto ask, like, what do you think
?
Do you think or what do youthink are some of the risk of
becoming overconfident?
I know, uh, vr was alreadytouching on that a little bit
about pride, vargas.
So yeah, vargas.
Yes, see, I just choose thefirst two letters YV, pi, ch.
(33:05):
Do D what do you think are someof the risks of being
overconfident, like pride andstuff?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Well, I think yeah, pride and arrogance and
separating yourself from peopleis what I think is the biggest
risk, Because I know that whenpeople make me feel like it
doesn't matter what I have tosay, they're not going to listen
to me, no matter what, then Ifeel separated from them, like
(33:33):
we're not in this together, youknow.
So I think that's the biggestrisk, because connection is so
important to me.
You know so, when people actlike you know, I got this all
figured out and I don't needanybody, then it's hard to
connect with them.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That's so true, and we weren't created to do this
stuff alone, and I think it's.
You know, that's interestingtoo, because I felt like both
know connection, we loveconnection, and I notice there's
people that are what do youcall them?
They said extroverts andintroverts, and sometimes
introverts don't like to bearound the crowd, which we get,
that too.
But I think, even as introverts, you probably do.
You have any introverts here inthe house, here in the studio?
(34:09):
Okay, yeah, now, you guysprobably all.
Let me know if I'm right hereby throwing some confetti.
But how many of you introverts?
Okay, let me see the introvertsagain.
Let me see One, two, three,four.
We have four.
Okay, five, okay.
So let me ask you this All ourintroverts here?
Do you guys all have a closegroup of friends that you feel
(34:30):
like you can share things with?
Hey, throw some confetti, I see, okay.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
All right.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
All right, yeah, okay , it looks like.
It looks like all of them.
That's the beautiful thing, Ithink.
I think, as introverts we evenhave, we have people that we
connect with.
Connection is so important, andI think that those connections
actually help us build ourconfidence too, and I think it's
that's an important piece of itso.
I think that even being willingto ask yourself am I being
(34:56):
prideful, that's showingsomething.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Probably not yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
You're probably not, you're aware of say not that you
might not be heading down thatroute, but you're aware of it
and you're asking questions andI think that's where I started
heading down it and me MrsKillery talked about it and
that's the great thing is,you're you're growing, and we
all do that, and it changes inthe seasons we're in.
I want to encourage you guys,like you know, confidence, when
you think of confidence,confidence is not about being
(35:24):
fearless.
It's not about being fearlessand that's something I I think I
struggle with for a long time.
When you feel like you'reafraid, it doesn't have to do
with being fearless.
It doesn't.
It doesn being fearless.
It doesn't always mean that youhave the right answers either.
That's not confidence.
It grows, as we were talkingabout.
Confidence grows as we becomemore aware, aware of who we are,
(35:48):
who you are.
For me, as a Christian we'vealready been talking about this
For me, as a Christian, when Ithink about confidence, I've
become more aware of who I am,because I've been growing to
understand how God has uniquelycreated me and how much he loves
me.
But that's a growth that takestime and, just like building any
(36:12):
kind of relationship with evena person here.
It's not easy and it takes thatintention being intentional
about that growth.
So I want to encourage you guysif you're struggling with
confidence, if you're strugglingwith it we all have those
seasons where we're notstruggling with it and sometimes
it kind of creeps back in Ifyou're struggling I want to
encourage you to seek God outmore, even if you're not a
(36:35):
Christian like you're like Idon't know about this God thing.
That's fine.
Ask him.
Ask him to help you see who heis and how he sees you, so you
can embrace that worth andpurpose that God has for you,
because each one of us here hasa unique purpose.
So I want to encourage you todo that.
We love that everybody came out.
Thank you, mrs Kilby, forbringing us such a great topic
(36:58):
and being open to talk aboutthis.
No-transcript.
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