October 2, 2024 • 49 mins
Text Brian & Shawna (Fan Mail)
In this episode, we continue our conversation with MetaCoach on the impact of stress and anxiety on our health. Stress is something we all face, but do you know how it’s affecting your body? If you've ever wondered how stress and anxiety can impact your physical and emotional well-being, this episode is for you.
MetaCoach shares practical insights into the physiological effects of stress and what happens when we allow it to build up unchecked. You'll hear personal stories and real-life experiences from Mr. & Mrs.KillerB on how stress has shown up in their lives, how it sneaks into our daily routines, and what it does to us over time.
Key Takeaways:
- How stress and anxiety differ, and why it’s important to recognize both.
- The ways in which stress impacts your body, including your gut, muscles, and overall health.
- What chronic stress is, and how it silently leads to long-term health issues like heart disease, high blood pressure, and weakened immune systems.
- Practical tips on recognizing stress in your life and what you can do about it.
We dive into these important questions:
- How does stress affect the body physically?
- What are the long-term risks if stress goes unmanaged?
- What signs should you look for when stress is impacting your health?
- Why do we often ignore the physical symptoms of stress?
- How can you manage stress before it affects your well-being?
- What are some strategies for handling chronic stress in everyday life?
If you're ready to better understand stress, anxiety, and how they could be silently affecting your health, this episode is a must-listen. Plus, we’d love to hear from you – after listening, share your thoughts by clicking the link in the show notes. Let's continue the conversation together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I mentioned the last time that I had realized that
stress can affect my body.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm going to give kind of a technical example of
good and bad stress.
When you hop on an airplane andtake off, that airplane has to
be pressurized when it gets intothe air to keep it from
exploding.
I don't know if I should thankyou for this medical coach.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
But now when I get on an airplane, that anxiety thing
I'm going to be like are youguys sure the pressure is good?
Welcome to the New Horizonspodcast.
I'm Brian Curie.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer
B, in virtual reality.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse
at the Killer B Studios.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Where real life stories and God experiences are
shared in a way, only themetaverse can offer.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
With that, let's go ahead and dive into today's
episode.
Tonight we are continuing aconversation, uh, from I think
this was last month, right lastmonth I don't know if it was a
month ago or two months.
I think it might have been twomonths ago, but what we talked
about when meta coach was herelast time was stress and anxiety
can shape our journey in life,how it can have an effect on our
life.
Mrs Killer Bee shared how someyou shared some about how you
(01:11):
tend to overcommit.
You're a people pleaser and youcan overcommit, and that kind
of leads into.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I'm a recovering people, pleaser.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Recovering.
That is so good.
I'm so glad you said that.
Throw some confetti for ourrecovering people, pleaser.
I'm so glad you said that.
Throw some confetti for ourrecovering people, please.
But yeah, she was talking aboutand sharing how that kind of
leads into stress into her life.
That she's learned, and then wealso talked about the
difference between stress andanxiety.
But we didn't again, we didn'tdiscuss the effects that these
two have on our body.
So with that, let's bring outour guest MetaCoach.
(01:41):
Everybody, let's throw someconfetti for Met coach as he
comes out from backstage.
Meta coach, welcome to thekiller beast.
Oh, I gotta scoot over.
Hold on, all right, all right,what's up?
Yeah, we got this new table.
It's like a lot to get used tomuch closer together yeah, a
little closer together.
(02:01):
I just'm going to do this thewhole time.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You hit on a swivel.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You know what?
That's a great idea.
I should sit in one of thosechairs that just spin.
A rolling chair yeah, there yougo, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
You know, I have a stool that I use sometimes that
swivels.
And so.
I can do that too.
Just swivel my stool and moveit back and forth.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
It's the way to go.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It works, it works.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Does it.
That's a great idea.
I should definitely do that.
I'm going to remind me, miss.
It'll be to keep an eye out forthat.
Okay, I will.
So I could see myself gettingtangled.
How many of you are plugged inwhile you're in here?
First with confetti?
Yeah, yeah, I could see, likeswiveling again, that whole
cable wrapped all the way aroundlike a candy cane.
Um, but uh, medic coach, we'reso glad that you're here and
(02:52):
that you're joining us again tocontinue this conversation.
Um, before we get started, someof the people here don't, might
not know who you are, so youwant to take about 30 seconds
and let people know a little bitabout who you are.
Who is the?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
right, I'm a coach.
I'm a behavioral life coach andI have been coaching in the
metaverse for about two yearsnow.
I started over in alt spacecoaching and doing seminars and
workshops and it was a naturalprogression.
When alt space closed, I cameinto Horizon World and continued
(03:25):
on.
So I do a talk show, weeklytalk show called Coached, and
it's on Wednesdays at 4 pmEastern time and Thursday nights
at 9 pm Eastern time, and I'malso doing workshops and
seminars over in Spatial nowonce a month and I did two
workshops on cyberbullying.
I did a workshop kind of likethis on stress and the workshop
(03:51):
on cyberbullying actually ledinto stress because people were
talking about what they'refeeling as a result of it.
So that's what I do.
I'm basically a behavioral lifecoach and motivational speaker.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Awesome, awesome.
Thank you, medico.
Okay, so let me kind of justlead into where we were at
before when this came up.
I mentioned the last time thatI had realized that stress can
affect my body, and here's letme share a little bit of a story
and maybe some of you canrelate to this.
I noticed that when I wasaround people and some of these
(04:24):
people are, you know, arefriends and stuff, and sometimes
they can be family members butwhen people started getting
negative, I started noticingthat my body was tensing up,
like there's like tensionbuilding and I was like whoa,
this is.
I think I'm paying moreattention to these things as I
get older, but I'm like, wow, Ican feel that tension.
(04:44):
Even my like my stomach gottight and I could feel my
muscles getting tight.
So do you have any insight inthis, like this?
I think this might be a goodplace to kind of start on this.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
The physiological part.
When our body and our minds arestressed, our bodies begin to
exert certain chemicals, and ifthose chemicals are not in
balance, they begin to affect usphysically at the same time
that they're affecting usmentally and emotionally.
And that's why sometimes, whenpeople get really stressed out,
(05:15):
they become more subject tocertain illnesses like colds,
headaches, especially gut, andintestinal problems especially
gut and intestinal problems,because the chemicals are
putting more acids and enzymesinto the body, because the body
is reacting to that stress, andso that's why we begin to feel
certain things and stress canmake an illness worse than what
(05:37):
it is otherwise Interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I was thinking about that how, no matter what sort of
health problem you have, ifyou've got unresolved stress or
chronic stress, you know itincreases your inflammation,
makes all of that worse.
So really it's in everyone'sbest interest to like really
take an honest look at yourstress levels and how you're
handling them, because any kindof problem you have in your life
is going to be made worse.
(06:01):
Sometimes it's hard to noticestress in your life, right?
You have in your life is goingto be made worse.
Sometimes it's hard to noticestress in your life, right?
Metacoach, we kind of talkedabout that last time that it's
hard to admit like I'm stressedand possibly not dealing with it
very well either.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Well, you know, and we exist in a stressful
environment and not all stressis bad stress.
There are certain stress thatare necessary to keep us moving,
to keep us motivated andeverything.
And I think I shared last timeabout the butterfly that the I
cut the cocoon open and I sharedthat story last time.
(06:35):
I think you did, but I think youshould share it because there's
a lot of new people here tooand so there was a guy who saw a
cocoon on his windowsill and hewatched it for a while and knew
it would open up and become abutterfly.
So he just happened at onemoment to be able to see the
butterfly trying to emerge fromthe cocoon.
So what he did?
(06:56):
He took a little razor bladeand slid it open to help the
butterfly out.
Well, the butterfly fell out onthe windowsill and he was
waiting for the wings to justopen up.
Well, the wings never opened upand he watched the butterfly
kind of hobble around for alittle bit and he watched and by
the end of the day thebutterfly had died.
(07:16):
And so he talked to a botanistfriend of his and told him what
had happened.
And his friends said well, whenthe butterfly is breaking out of
the cocoon, the stress and thepressure of pushing against the
cocoon open it up actuallyactivates enzymes and hormones
within the butterfly's musclesystem and causes those muscles
(07:37):
to immediately strengthen andflex so the butterfly's wings
can open up.
So without that stress thebutterfly was never able to
achieve its potential and openup.
And so there are good stressesthat apply to our lives, allow
us to be motivated, there aregood stresses that keep us safe.
(07:59):
There are good stresses thatkeep us aware of what's going on
around us, stresses that keepus aware of what's going on
around us.
But the problem becomes whenthose stresses get out of
balance, when the stresses beginto dominate us or the situation
, and sometimes those stressesare imagined stresses,
unrealistic stresses, and that'swhen they really get out of
(08:22):
control, because we're kind ofwired in such a way that we
always think of, we always thinkit's going to be the worst, and
so our minds go that way andstress can drive us to that
point where we go to thinkingthis is, this is bad, this is
going to be really bad and itactually, in our mind, just
worse than what it actually isin reality that's very
(08:44):
interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Like you're a lover of butterflies, did you know
that?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
No, I did not know that, but now I know I will not
not try to help a butterfly outof its cocoon for sure, but it's
, you know, it's interesting,medicoach, that really
correlates to something I justrecently learned, which is, you
know, we're kind of in a placeright now where you hear a lot
like inflammation.
That's your problem.
Inflammation is bad.
It's going to, you know, makeeverything worse.
(09:09):
But it's very interesting howthis correlates with exactly
what you just said about somestress being good.
If we didn't have inflammationat all, we wouldn't be able to
heal.
So, like, inflammation is agood thing in an immediate, you
know, isolated time when you'vecut yourself or you know
something along those lines, theinflammation is what brings
(09:32):
what needs to be there to healyou.
But when we are overwhelmingour body and we're inflamed all
the time, that's where problemsstart to happen.
And you can see the same withstress.
Like stress is good in smalllittle bits, in an isolated way,
but then, when it starts to beyour norm, then that's where
problems start to happen realizethat we're stressed, Things are
(10:04):
happening that we don't evenrecognize or realize and all of
a sudden something breaks and wewonder what happened.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Why did that happen?
Because we've been stressedabout something or stressed
about a situation and it wasn'tbeing managed.
But by the time we actually sawwhat was going on, you know
it's out of control.
There are bigger problems.
Speaker 7 (10:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And I think that's where you're going to get into
like the chronic stress a littlebit, which I want to get to
that because it's something that, before we get into that, has
anybody here not heard ofchronic stress before?
If you have not, I have notheard of stress before, so I'm
throwing confetti for myself.
Okay, all right, riaz is notOkay, cool.
Not heard of stress before, soI am throwing confetti for
(10:46):
myself.
Okay, all right, rias is notokay, cool.
Thanks for being open to sharethat.
Like, yeah, I want to talkabout that because it was
something that was getting myattention as I was doing some
more research.
But before we go there, I wantto ask you something like when
it comes to, like you know,learning, learning right now
that stress can affect our, ourhealth and our bodies.
And at one moment, when Inoticed like my body was tensing
(11:08):
up because of the negativity,that stuff that was going on,
I'm like, oh, I just got to getout of this, I don't want to
hear this.
And I'm like this isn't good.
I can feel my body.
You know, I felt my muscle wasclenching.
So why do you think we oftenignore or downplay those
physical symptoms?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Well, there are a couple of reasons why we
probably do that Sometimes andthis kind of gets into chronic
stress.
Sometimes we exist so much withstress that we don't recognize
the stress.
We get used to it.
But it's damage.
We get used to it on a mentallevel that we're not really
(11:46):
associated with on a physicallevel, and so that's why we
sometimes we ignore it, becausewe're used to it.
Sometimes we ignore it becausewe don't want to face an issue.
So if I don't see it, it's nothappening.
I was talking to one of mylittle nephews.
He was about four years old andhe come up to me had his eyes
(12:09):
closed.
He said you can't see me.
He had his hands over his eyes.
You can't see me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha over his eyes.
You can't see me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
So I didn't think I couldn'tsee him, you know.
But we're like that sometimeswith stress.
You know we ignore it, you knowwe look away from it.
We look away from a situationand so therefore we don't see it
(12:34):
coming and it can catch us offguard.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Ms Kluge, would you say that, when it comes to
stress, are you more likely tonot realize it, because it's
something that you're justconstantly like you've dealt
with over and over?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you're trying to
avoid?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you're trying to
avoid.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
That's interesting because I would say just in the
last year I've learned to feelthe cues in my body that are
telling me I'm stressed.
So it's really, it's reallyfunny, you know, kind of.
One of the reasons we evenstarted talking about this is I
was in kind of a stressfulsituation with a client that I
(13:14):
work for, and I would noticethat when I was driving there I
would have a stomach ache.
And I thought it was, you knowsomething.
I ate something, I dranksomething along those lines, and
then it just dawned on me likeI am dreading going to this
house, and so it just made mestart to say what are these
(13:37):
physical signs that I've beenignoring?
Because I thought, you know, Ithought there was something else
, I thought there was nothing tobe done, and so that's kind of
part of the reason why I evenstarted talking about this with
Brian.
But I think if I am going toignore something, brian, it's
because I think if I am going toignore something, brian, it's
because so I don't know how manypeople feel like this, but
(13:57):
sometimes I feel like if I openthis door where I'm going to
walk into this emotion, it'sgoing to open up so much that
it's going to overwhelm me and Idon't have time to deal with
that right now.
Grief is kind of like that, youknow.
You can feel something comingon and you're like I do not have
time for that right now.
So you have to stuff it awayfor a while.
(14:19):
But the trick is setting asidetime to deal with those things,
because if you keep stuffing,everybody knows that's going to
explode out at some point.
But yeah, so if I'm going toignore something, that's the
reason why, because I feel likeI can't deal with it right now.
So it's a problem withoverscheduling again.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Really, at the end of the day, for me, For some
reason I would just look aroundat people in the cars and I
would look at the expressions onpeople's face.
Some people look like they werejust really just checked out.
There are people who look likethey were in agony.
Very seldom did I see somebodythat was like smiling.
(14:58):
But one day I was driving alongand this lady I guess she had
some music going and she wasjust you know and when I looked
I smiled, you know, and Inoticed that other people that
could see her were like going,yeah, so whatever they were
dealing with at that moment thescholars and the stressed out
(15:20):
people they saw this person thatwas just enjoying themselves
and for that moment those peoplewere able to kind of put aside
whatever was going on.
I know a lot of people areheaded to work and they go I
hate my boss, you know andthey're just dreading and that
drive is like the longest drivein the world.
But that moment of seeing thiswoman just really just jamming
(15:42):
to her music, because it put asmile on my face and I wasn't
even thinking now about what Ihad to do when I got to work.
I was just enjoying her moment.
But what it made me realize isthat we do have the ability to
step away from stress.
Sure, yeah, that's good, thinkabout that.
That means that I can actuallytake a moment and say wait a
(16:03):
minute, why am I stressed?
Am I overstressed?
Am I putting too much pressureon myself?
And really begin to ask myselfsome pertinent questions about
what's going on.
And sometimes, by the time youask yourself those pertinent
questions, the stress seems reallittle, or you're stressed
about something that's not evenrealistic anymore.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, that's so true.
It just reminds me of a quickthing.
I was sitting out on my balconyone day.
I saw my neighbor walking youknow we're on the second story
and so she was down on thesidewalk and she didn't know I
was sitting out on my balconyone day I saw my neighbor
walking we're on the secondstory and so she was down on the
sidewalk and she didn't know Iwas up there and she had on her
earbuds or whatever, and as shewas walking she was kind of
singing and she just went likethis and it just made me smile
(16:47):
so big I thought look at that,she doesn't care who's watching,
she's just enjoying her music.
And I told Brian and he laughedabout it Like it was just so
cute.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So it's amazing how something little like that you
just like expressing your joycan affect people around you and
you don't even know there'sanyone else there Exactly.
And sometimes it's just thosemoments for me to take a step
back and say, wow, for thatmoment I wasn't feeling this.
So now, what to do to get tothat place more than I'm at this
(17:17):
place?
Now I'm going to give kind of atechnical example of good and
bad stress.
When you hop on an airplane andtake off, that airplane has to
be pressurized when it gets intothe air to keep it from
exploding.
Oh, that's why they do that.
Yeah, because the higher theairplane goes, the lower the air
(17:43):
pressure on the outside.
So they have to pressurize theend of the aircraft to keep the
structure stressed, pushingoutward.
So then as the aircraftdescends, the pressure inside
the aircraft and that's why youget the ear popping and all that
kind of stuff because thepressure inside is decreasing.
(18:03):
So once you land now you're backto normal pressure, whatever
altitude you're at.
But once that airplane getsback in the air, the inside has
to pressurize to keep thatstress pushing out.
So the same way, we havecertain stress within our bodies
that are pushing out to keep usfocused, that are pushing out
to keep us moving forward, tokeep us aware, those pressures,
(18:26):
and so those pressures, Iconsider them like safety valves
.
Safety pressure.
Like safety valves, safetypressure, you know, being aware
of my surrounding, criticalthinking, taking care of my
internal health to make surethat I'm able to function at my
best.
Those are those internalpressures that kind of push the
(18:47):
walls out to keep the world fromcaving in on me.
But it's when we don't takecare of those selves on a
physical level, all those thingsbegin to happen, like if we get
too much stress on the outside,we can end up getting sick.
And that's when the internalpressures are being overcome by
the external pressures.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, wow, that's very insightful, so I do want to
.
I don't know if I should thankyou for this medical coach, but
now when I get on an airplane,that anxiety thing I'm going to
be like are you guys sure thepressure is good?
Take this thing off, anythingexploding.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Now I'm going to have that in my mind every time I
get an airplane my ears poppingagain now.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I think, that's very insightful.
I never knew that, but I lovethat.
That's such a great analogy.
Is that the right word?
Analogy Is that the right word?
We do have some questions.
I want to bring up some ofthese Q and A's before we
continue.
Let's go and bring up like wehave lost virtually first, and
then we'll bring up littleWillie and then left.
So lost virtually.
(19:46):
Come on down to the Q and a,mike, and feel free to share
your, your thought or questionthat you have about this topic
today.
So thanks for joining us.
Lost virtually.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Lost.
Thanks for being here.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
How are you doing Lost Good?
How are you doing Good Good?
You know the connection betweenthe physical body and the
mental body.
One thing I found that happensto me and I don't know whether
it happens to anybody else, butI think there is some scientific
backing is that after I'vedealt with an incredibly
(20:20):
stressful situation, sometimesI'll get sick, and I think what
happens is the body's smartenough to know not to get you
sick during that super, you know, and then it waits until I'm to
get you sick during that super,you know, and then it waits
until time to get you sick.
I want to know your thoughts onthat.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That's very insightful and there's a lot of
scientific research around that.
And so to kind of put it kindof in a nutshell, what you
experience like if you're really, really stressed out, going
through something, your body iscompensating, but that
compensation is almost anovercompensation.
All those chemicals that arebeing produced in your body to
(21:04):
keep you going, to keep you upand keep your stem, external
pressure takes over.
That's direct some havoc on youby then and that's why, once
that external pressure goes,then those things are free to do
they need to do.
The damage is already beingthere, yeah, but but you know
the external pressure is keepingyou.
You know the internal andexternal pressure kind of
(21:26):
pushing against each other soyou're not feeling the effects
immediately of it and uh, andthat that happens more often
than we think.
And I remember when I wasfinishing up my, my, my master's
degree, I graduated and I wentthrough an intensive, intensive
program where I did my master'sdegree in one year.
Whoa, it was intense, you knowtalking about three nights,
(21:50):
three, three days a week.
I was in school to do this.
Wow, and it was intense.
And when I graduated I camehome and I fell asleep and I was
asleep for almost 12 hours andthen when I got up, I felt weak
and just just dis, disdisoriented.
I didn't feel like eating for acouple days.
(22:11):
You know, I forced myself toeat but it was like I couldn't.
I couldn't feel like eating fora couple of days.
You know, I forced myself toeat but it was like I couldn't.
I couldn't enjoy the victory ofgraduating because I felt so
run down and weak from it.
Because during that time mybody was constantly moving and I
was working full time at thesame time Also moving forward.
I was under this stress.
But once all that stress wasgone, my body said OK, we're
(22:32):
going to kick your butt now.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Now it's time to pay the price.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
That's interesting, so you're right on that.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's kind of like I don't know how many of you have
ever, you know, watched skinnedoverdivers and watched what
happens.
If they come up too fast.
They get sick, yeah, and thereason being because the
pressure the deeper you go, it'sso great up on the body that
you know your body is constantlytrying to regulate to that
(23:03):
pressure.
But if you come up too fastthen the anal pressure overrides
the external pressure andthat's why people get sick, get
the bends, get cramps, get allkinds of things.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Really good insight there, lost Virtually.
Thanks for bringing that man.
That was really good.
Let's go ahead and bring upLittle Willie.
Little Willie, come on.
Lost Virtually.
Speaker 7 (23:23):
You got one thing you want to add, go ahead.
Yeah, I just have one thing toadd.
Is that because of that, now,anytime I get sick and it
doesn't happen every time,anytime I get sick it actually
causes me to reflect?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
what stressful situation did.
Speaker 7 (23:41):
I just come through and it works as like.
Okay, every time you get sickyou ask yourself that question.
It's a nice little mentalexercise.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
That's a signal to you like, hey, something might
be stressing you out.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Reflecting on how you've you know maybe gone wrong
.
That's good, hey Lil.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Willie, thanks for joining us tonight.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
My first time on the show.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Thanks for being here .
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Yeah, I really like this.
Yeah, I was just I'm glad thathe said that, because in
Virginia we got a saying thatpressure will bust a pipe, and
that means I mean we say that,we've been saying that for years
.
We say that because we havealways been aware of how the
stress can mess with your body.
(24:32):
Actually, some years ago Istarted to like change my since
the pandemic.
It made me change my wholeperspective on how I allow
things to my body, because Ineed my resources, you know, to
keep going and I understand howum, a lot of times like it's
(24:56):
based on a person's um, how theyview, you know, their
perspective on life in the worldaround them themselves all of
that which will probably yourbelief systems, your belief
patterns, what you believe, thatcan upset you at times.
You know what.
(25:16):
I'm saying how you what youbelieve on the inside can have
you like really stressed, evenif it's incorrect, it could be
incorrect.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Oh sure.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
You know it, don't you know, but we still have.
So a lot of people still havethat thought pattern, you know.
And then certain things willtrigger that thought pattern and
there you go.
But the best thing I found outis you know, find the source of
your discontent and then dosomething about it to bring that
(25:48):
down.
Because I noticed I had gotinto an argument with a guy and
he followed me to the doctor'soffice and when I got to the
doctor she told me that my bloodpressure was really high.
She said give me five minutesand we're going to take it again
.
When I came down, my bloodpressure came down, and that's
(26:09):
right.
There is when I finallyrealized that I needed to go a
different way of how I look atthings myself and the world
around me, and that has beenhelping me a lot and that's one
of the one of the telltale signssometimes blood pressure going
up because it's a stress.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's a stress factor, you know.
Our hearts are beating faster,there's a lot of things going on
when we're, when we're stressedout.
So you, you think about youknow, you, you, you're walking
down the street and a car almostruns into you.
Yeah, and you and you, thatmoment you go, you, you're
walking down the street and acar almost runs into you, yeah,
and that moment you go, you know, you're like, wow, that was
close, you know.
And so if you were to take yourblood pressure at that moment,
(26:51):
you would like, hey, I think Ineed to head to the ER right,
quick here, you know.
Yeah.
But you know, you take a moment, you get a grip and you go.
Ok, you know, I see what wasgoing on, so your blood pressure
starts to come down.
But there are other things thathappen in our body too, like
that with the, with the anxietyand stress.
Because now, if we don't let goof that and realize that was a
moment and we hold on to that,we go and walk down the street
(27:13):
now and every car that passes meI'm looking at that car.
Is that car gonna hit me?
Is that car gonna hit me?
Oh no, that car is gettingclose pretty soon.
We end up with what you talkabout, chronic stress, because
now I begin to see stresseverywhere.
I begin to create environmentsbecause that last moment, that
last thing was so intense thatit's imprinted in my mind.
(27:36):
It's imprinted so now I seedanger every time.
I see something that looks likethat.
I know adults who are afraid ofdogs because, as a toddler, a
dog bit them or either chasethem, and now they don't like
the dogs.
You know because of that, youknow, so you think about the joy
(27:56):
that they're missing out on.
I'm not like a dog.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
So true.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But to them that dog represents that stress, that
trauma that they've never beenable to go over.
So now they see a dog and theyhave that stress.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
I wanted to say to little Willie good for you for
recognizing that and deciding tochange your mindset.
I think that's so important.
You know, if we could all likelook at the things that have
caused us trauma in the past, orthings you know, habits that we
realize are affecting ourhealth, like we have the ability
to change those things if wewant to, and I I just appreciate
(28:34):
you telling that story becauseit reminds me, like there's
things that I'm seeing, that I,I have the power to change those
things in my life, and I'm Ishould appreciate that reminder.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Let's go and bring up Lep Lep, come on down, come on
down, lep.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
All right, I don't have a question.
I just basically just wanted tosay you know, having this
platform and what you guys aredoing in MetaCoach, we really
appreciate having you here inthe metaverse and just sharing
what your knowledge and what youknow about stress and how to
deal with it and stuff.
So I just want to commend youfor that and you just keep doing
(29:09):
what you're doing.
God bless you Awesome.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Thank you, that is so sweet.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Thank you so sweet, we have one more.
We have one more on the QA list.
Let's go ahead and bring upIris.
Iris, come on down, iris.
Speaker 7 (29:20):
Thank you again more uh let's wait one more on the qa
list let's go ahead and bringup iris.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Iris, come on down.
That means so much.
It really does welcome iriswell I'm, because you get a
butterfly on her shirt thebutterfly.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
I'm only half joking when I say that I've I've had
more stress in the last fewyears than probably anyone.
But that's that's.
That's another story.
I've been, I've been um dealingwith long covid for about four
years now and I've had all thepodcasts about and and youtube
about every little shred ofresearch you know and everything
lately that everybody's talkingabout the vegas nerve.
(29:54):
What do you know about this?
Oh, it's a miracle if you resetyour vegas nerve and everything
will fall into place, and Ihaven't heard of that.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
You haven't heard about the vagus nerve.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
I have been hearing some about that, iris.
Yeah, I would love to researchthat, though, and talk with you
more about it, because I justsaw a couple of exercises you
can do to reset your vagus nerveand, yeah, it really has to do
with the way that you'reperceiving stress, right, mm-hmm
.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Yeah, no, it's the master regulator of your entire
body and if it gets dysregulatedwhich is the very definition of
long COVID is a dysregulatedbody.
Yeah, if you can reset yourvagus nerve then, like I said,
they seem to think all theseother things will fall into
place magically and yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Yeah, I mean.
I honestly yeah, I doubt ifit's that simple, seem to think
all these other things will fallinto place magically and yeah,
yeah, yeah, I mean I honestlysee.
Yeah, I doubt if it's thatsimple.
You know what I mean, like,because there's so many factors
that affect our bodies, you know, between our gut and you know,
uh, chemicals, hormones, likethere's so much going on in your
body.
But who knows, maybe I'm wrong,but yeah, I would love to
research that.
Let's.
Let's come back and talk aboutthat soon.
(31:01):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Called the Vegas nerve.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah, if I remember correctly, I think it's spelled
V-A-G-U-S.
Is that right, iris?
Does that sound right to you?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, ok, so I have seen some things about it, but
OK so not like Las Vegas OKexactly I was going to say I
don't know.
It sounds like you might begambling here a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I knew that's what you guys are thinking.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
See Okay, thank you, that helps.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Maybe if we come back and talk about it, we can redo
the studio as like Vegas.
Oh, that would be fun.
Have a little bit of fun withit.
Well, okay, so let me go aheadand go back here to the topic
for a second.
I noticed, like when I, when Igo back to the story of my body,
like how I was noticing that,uh, as I was noticing it, I also
(31:49):
noticed that when my bodystarts feeling like that, then I
would do to that, like stressand anxiety, I guess, or even
that you know that situationthat I'm in, that it I could
tend to it, I could tend to ittended to affect my how I
related to others, how I eventreated others.
That was close to me.
And here's my question what'sthe best way I got two off of
this, two off of this thoughthere?
The first one was what's thebest way to communicate to
(32:13):
people that were stressedwithout being seen as weak or
not equipped to handle asituation.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Okay, you know and I'm glad you asked that question
because something is so keybecause sometimes people don't
know how to communicate that andso they try and keep stress in
because they think it's the bestthing to do.
I don't even want to talk aboutit.
Yeah, I'm stressed out.
I don't want to talk about itbecause you may not be able to
(32:37):
listen to me anyway or you maynot care, and so it kind of puts
more stress on the stress andit gets down to the point where
you have to sometimes just stopand say hold up just a moment,
let me tell you what's going onright now.
Let me tell you what I'mfeeling right now.
(32:58):
Not to be offensive to you, Ineed to let you know that.
You know that right now I gotsome things going on, you know,
and I need for you to listen tome.
So you have to communicate it.
There's not a simple press playand do it.
It has to be confronted, it hasto be communicated, and and I
had that situation, you know,leading leading teams where I
(33:19):
would have a person on my teamthat was extremely stressed out
and you give them assignment goget it done.
And it took me a little bit tostart listening to what they
were saying.
I found that I had an employeethat was so stressed out one
time that I didn't know it, andthe way I found out he was
stressed.
He came to work the next dayand he had a bruise on his face
and I thought did you get into afight last night or something?
(33:42):
And he goes no, I fell and Isaid, oh, you got to be careful.
And then he stopped.
He said I need to talk to you,boss.
He said something's going on.
He said I fell last night andover 45 minutes on the ground
and he said I got up.
He said I thought I had justfall.
(34:06):
He said I got home and Irealized that I had missed the
show that I that I was goinghome to watch.
And he said I started countingback the time, thinking about
when I left the gym and when ithappened.
And he said I got somethinggoing on.
So I immediately sent him tothe, to the hospital, and this
guy's blood pressure was almost200.
He was so.
And then I you know so.
Then I you know when he, when hecame back to work, he had a
medical excuse, not, you know,to come back, but he wanted to
let me know what was going on.
He was stressed about theworkload.
He thought he was about to failand he had failed before, and
(34:27):
he thought, ok, this is going tocost me my job on this one.
And I asked him why didn't youcome and tell me that you had
this much stress going on?
And he goes.
Well, I'm supposed to handle myjob, I'm supposed to be able to
do this.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
So it was one of these thingswhere he couldn't accept the
(34:49):
fact that, hey, we all get to aplace where things overwhelm us.
And it really, really made metake a look at myself and say
what kind of pressure am Iputting on my team, made me take
a look at myself and say whatkind of pressure am I putting on
my team?
Good, and so I had a talk withmy team.
I said if you ever, ever, ever,feel that I'm being unrealistic
(35:09):
or putting too much on you, yougot to push back and let me
know.
Okay, you know, because I canpush back on people above me to
protect you all, but I can'tprotect you if I don't know
what's going on.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Anybody that's listening to the podcast replay,
or even people here.
If you're a leader, I thinkthat's such a beautiful thing to
look at too, like it's bothsides, like even as a leader,
when someone does step up,you've got to be able to ask
yourself some personal questionsand evaluate the health of your
team as well.
So I love that you pointed thatout, because we can learn from
that.
So I really Can I say somethingreal quick about that.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I just recognized something interesting.
You know, it's never onceoccurred to me that if I
admitted that I was stressed,that it would make me seem weak.
It's for me and I don't know ifthis is a man-woman thing or
just personality difference it'shard for me to say to someone
you know, I need a coupleminutes like I'm feeling
overwhelmed and stressed.
I feel like I'm going to comeoff as rude.
(36:03):
So I don't think like they'regoing to think I'm weak.
I think they're going to thinkI'm rude Like I'm, I don't care
about what they're doing, Idon't care about what they need,
I only care about what I feellike.
So isn't that interesting.
I never realized I never putthat together for you, brian
(36:23):
that like you have a hard timesaying you're stressed or
overwhelmed because you wouldlook weak.
I never thought about thatbeing a possibility.
That's really interesting to me.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
You know, and that's powerful insight.
So, like what you're saying,you know you don't want to come
across as rude.
He doesn't want to come acrossas weak.
So what do we do?
We hold our stress in and wedon't, we don't communicate it.
But for the best interest ofeverybody involved, those
conversations need to take place.
(36:50):
They may not feel comfortable,but they need to take place.
And what happens?
Almost 100 percent of the timeI say almost that when it's said
, hey, I need a moment, I'mstressed, the other person
that's hearing that willprobably say wow, okay, take a
moment.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Because it's going to cause them hopefully, if
they're a decent human being,it's going to cause them to back
up and say, yeah, whoa okay.
But you know there are thosepeople that tell you hey, suck
it up.
Hey, yeah, well okay.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
But you know there are those people that tell you,
hey, suck it up, get back inthere, we don't have time to
suck it up.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
That's what I tell my dog all the time.
Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
A little Yorkie.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
But I want to, you know, talk a little bit more
about chronic stress for aminute, because that's something
that I think we deal with moreoften than what we realize.
And here's something that I'vefound through my coaching
practice and just living thatmany of us deal with low level,
(37:48):
low vibration depression.
You know, we live in a world anda culture where there's so much
negativity.
If you listen to the news andlisten to the political
landscape and listen to the warsand listen to everything, it
feels like the world is aboutready to implode.
(38:09):
Yeah, and it might be, whoknows, but the fact is you're
taking all this in and it's justcoming into you like a virus,
just feeding all this negativity, and so it's hard to raise up
and find that positive moment.
And so because of this, thislow level depression, because of
(38:31):
all the things that are goingon, we also pick up this low
level stress and it tends toride on this current of
depression.
So you got these two layersthat are riding right there and
what happens is those layersbegin to kind of feed off each
other and kind of expand, butit's doing it so slowly that
(38:54):
we're living it, we're gettingused to it and we're not
realizing that.
We just have this chronicstress until something breaks
and we go where did that comefrom?
Speaker 1 (39:04):
oh yeah you know, I I love that you're pointing out
because that was what wasinteresting for me when I was
learning about chronic stresstoday and I only learned just a
little bit.
I was like, wow, there'sdifferent types of stress.
What's this chronic stress andlearning that it can?
What you're pointing out thisis what I want to share is
because what you're pointing outright now I'm like, wow, you're
so right.
If we really think about all thestuff that's coming in, that
(39:26):
we're listening to anddownloading into us every day,
that is continuing to add and Inever heard it said that with a
low level of stress, andsometimes those things we've got
friends that when they turn thenews, that's all they're
thinking about, they're verystressed out and anxious about
it.
But they learn that thischronic stress can actually lead
to long-term problems, like,like I was reading, like heart
(39:49):
disease, blood pressure, uh,weak immune systems, like I'm
like whoa, like, and you know welook at I mean, obviously we
know food can do that too, but Ifeel like a lot of stuff is
looked at like that and we'rekind of ignoring this these
avenues, or these feet, breasts,that's coming in that we don't
realize it.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah and so, and so our body is chemically
processing stress and anxiety.
This stuff is pouring into ourgut, pouring into our liver, you
know, pouring into our muscles,because that's why people, when
they get stressed, they getmuscle aches, because the
tension and the stress.
So all that's going on, theclenched jaw, you know the
(40:31):
cracked teeth, because people'sjaws are so clenched, because
all that pressure, that stressis going on inside their body
and it's built up over time andit's trying to release itself,
and the release is not alwayspretty, wow.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
So true.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
That's really.
It's like the straw that brokethe camel's back gives me about
like every day, like what we'redoing wow, well, I know we're
getting close to the time herein medical.
I want to thank you so muchagain for coming back and
talking about this, because I'mgonna be processing a lot of
this afterwards there's so muchhere and doing some more
(41:12):
research and and I encourageeverybody here to do the same
thing or if you're listening tothe podcast, you know, really
start thinking about thesethings.
It's just recently told this toshauna, to mrs killer b just a
couple days ago.
Uh, I'm working with thisclient and this isn't like
stress, but I could realizethere was something like there's
more to it.
(41:32):
To each one of us.
I know we all have our ownthings and I'm kind of like an
open book so and with that comesthe bad jokes too.
So I'm sorry, but one of thethings that I noticed just
recently was I'm working with aclient and he's a friend of mine
too, and I wrote an articleabout some stuff that happened
and I shared it with him.
(41:53):
I was like see this first workwith them and just kind of get
your thoughts.
And he wrote back.
The next morning I woke up and Iopened up my phone and it said
I love this exclamation point.
He's like I really hope peopleget what is being said here.
Exclamation point, exclamationpoint, exclamation point.
Now, when I read that, mythought was he's just saying
(42:13):
that and I started feeling like.
I started feeling this pressureand I'm like and I told Mrs
Killerby, I was like somethingisn't right there.
I was like, you know, we talkabout our past and like you were
talking about how it'sinteresting that I think I don't
want to be seen as weak and, asyou know, some of my past, with
things that's happened like,those things kind of like have a
(42:34):
spot inside that plays a roleand where some of the stress
might be, you know, raised to.
So I'm trying to be more andmore aware of these things when
they come up, but not keeping itto myself and say, hey, I can
trust my wife, I want to shareher.
Like, hey, I got this text andI don't.
There's something.
I shouldn't feel this way.
When I read this, I should belike, hey, I mean, I was like
(42:56):
that many exclamation points, Ishouldn't be thinking he's just
saying that.
I was like that's something'swrong there and I was like, and
I need to figure this out andget past that.
So I want to encourageeverybody here whatever you
might have little moments likethat, be aware of like finding
somebody to talk to.
If it's a coach or someone thatyou're close to in your family,
(43:17):
your spouse, a good friend findsomeone that you can lean into
and share these things and gothrough this process, because I
think that's going to help us.
What are your thoughts on that?
Is this good advice or am Ilike Brian?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
this is no exclamation points.
We need to have that trustedperson that we can go and just
be open and raw, say, hey, thisis me.
Person that we can go and justbe open and raw, say, hey, this
is me.
Because that is that is vitalto have somebody like that that
you can open up to and that wayyou you can deal with those
things, get them out, feel, feelthe pain, feel the fear, feel
(43:51):
whatever it is in a safe placeand that person, if it's a
trusted person, can help to pickup the pieces and get back into
the battle.
But sometimes we just need thatsafe place.
But people who don't have thatsafe place, they keep that stuff
bottled up and, like I say, itcomes out sometimes in a very,
(44:13):
very ugly, messy way.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
So true, and here's one thing that I've discovered
through my life the happiestpeople I know have two qualities
, and that's gratitude andgenerosity.
Speaker 5 (44:30):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
You know, I find that people who are truly grateful
see the world in a different way.
Grateful see the world in adifferent way.
They don't see this stress allthe time because they're being
grateful for the positive sideof things.
They're not ignoring thenegative side, yeah, but they're
looking for the positive, andthat positive and the things to
(44:52):
be grateful for are actuallykind of minimizing and taking
the edge off of the negative.
And the fact of being generousmeans that I'm actually looking
beyond my struggle, lookingbeyond myself and pushing
something out to someone else.
So those two qualities arevital when it comes to dealing
(45:15):
with that chronic stress andchronic you know trauma that
people are dealing with.
When you can get to that placewhere gratitude and generosity
are the way you live, otherthings tend to fall into place.
Priorities shift, you begin tohave a different perspective on
the things that are going on.
Oh man, that's good, very good,if somebody confides in you and
(45:37):
you become that trusted advisor.
Never, never, violate that,because that is going to make
that person even more stressedout because now they're less
trustful.
But it also takes so much outof a relationship.
Confidentiality and being ableto be that trusted advisor is
the gift that you can give toother people.
(45:58):
Yeah, Beautiful.
Speaker 7 (45:58):
So, true.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
And what a gift to give, can give to other people
yeah.
Beautiful, so true, and what agift to give.
What a beautiful gift to give.
Well, you guys, I want to thankyou again, metacoach, for
coming out.
Speaker 5 (46:06):
Usually.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
I ask for a closing thought, but I think tonight I
know MetaCoach, I know you're abeliever in with the stress and
stuff that everybody's dealingwith and I think a lot of us are
probably.
I think a lot of people areprobably dealing with that lower
stress that we don't evenrealize what's going on with
what we've talked about.
Would you would you mind toclose out in prayer that God
(46:28):
would help us be aware of thatRight and then afterwards,
everybody will jump here andwe'll grab a selfie together.
So we'd love to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Most gracious Lord, as we come to you tonight in the
precious and mighty name ofJesus.
Father, I just want to thank youfor this venue, for this
opportunity, for this fantasticcouple that hosts this show
tonight, and I just want tothank you for every person
that's here tonight, becausewe're not here by accident and,
father, as we're dealing withstress and dealing with anxiety
(46:58):
and dealing with all thecomplications that are happening
in the world, in this world,but you tell us to be careful
for nothing, but all things,through prayer and supplication,
that we bring our cares to you,we bring our burdens to you and
that we put our trust in youbecause, lord, that is the only
answer that is going to be atrue answer.
I just pray for each and everyperson that's here, no matter
(47:20):
what stress they're dealing with, what anxiety, that, lord, that
you speak to their heart, shineyour spirit and light into
their heart and show them theway out, show them the path
forward.
And, lord, that not only dothey go forward but they turn
around and begin to be able tohelp other people.
That we have this spark ofhealing, this spark that just
(47:43):
blossoms and blooms and blazes.
That healing takes place as aresult of what you're doing.
So we give you thanks, father.
We just ask that you continueto bless this metaphor situation
to grow, that we're able tobring your word, bring your
opportunities here for people togrow, and we thank you in
Jesus' name.
We pray Amen.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
If you enjoyed this episode don't forget to follow
this podcast and leave us areview.
I mentioned the last time that I had realized that
stress can affect my body.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm going to give kind of a technical example of
good and bad stress.
When you hop on an airplane andtake off, that airplane has to
be pressurized when it gets intothe air to keep it from
exploding.
I don't know if I should thankyou for this medical coach.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
But now when I get on an airplane, that anxiety thing
I'm going to be like are youguys sure the pressure is good?
Welcome to the New Horizonspodcast.
I'm Brian Curie.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer
B, in virtual reality.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse
at the Killer B Studios.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Where real life stories and God experiences are
shared in a way, only themetaverse can offer.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
With that, let's go ahead and dive into today's
episode.
Tonight we are continuing aconversation, uh, from I think
this was last month, right lastmonth I don't know if it was a
month ago or two months.
I think it might have been twomonths ago, but what we talked
about when meta coach was herelast time was stress and anxiety
can shape our journey in life,how it can have an effect on our
life.
Mrs Killer Bee shared how someyou shared some about how you
(01:11):
tend to overcommit.
You're a people pleaser and youcan overcommit, and that kind
of leads into.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I'm a recovering people, pleaser.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Recovering.
That is so good.
I'm so glad you said that.
Throw some confetti for ourrecovering people, pleaser.
I'm so glad you said that.
Throw some confetti for ourrecovering people, please.
But yeah, she was talking aboutand sharing how that kind of
leads into stress into her life.
That she's learned, and then wealso talked about the
difference between stress andanxiety.
But we didn't again, we didn'tdiscuss the effects that these
two have on our body.
So with that, let's bring outour guest MetaCoach.
(01:41):
Everybody, let's throw someconfetti for Met coach as he
comes out from backstage.
Meta coach, welcome to thekiller beast.
Oh, I gotta scoot over.
Hold on, all right, all right,what's up?
Yeah, we got this new table.
It's like a lot to get used tomuch closer together yeah, a
little closer together.
(02:01):
I just'm going to do this thewhole time.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You hit on a swivel.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
You know what?
That's a great idea.
I should sit in one of thosechairs that just spin.
A rolling chair yeah, there yougo, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
You know, I have a stool that I use sometimes that
swivels.
And so.
I can do that too.
Just swivel my stool and moveit back and forth.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
It's the way to go.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It works, it works.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Does it.
That's a great idea.
I should definitely do that.
I'm going to remind me, miss.
It'll be to keep an eye out forthat.
Okay, I will.
So I could see myself gettingtangled.
How many of you are plugged inwhile you're in here?
First with confetti?
Yeah, yeah, I could see, likeswiveling again, that whole
cable wrapped all the way aroundlike a candy cane.
Um, but uh, medic coach, we'reso glad that you're here and
(02:52):
that you're joining us again tocontinue this conversation.
Um, before we get started, someof the people here don't, might
not know who you are, so youwant to take about 30 seconds
and let people know a little bitabout who you are.
Who is the?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
right, I'm a coach.
I'm a behavioral life coach andI have been coaching in the
metaverse for about two yearsnow.
I started over in alt spacecoaching and doing seminars and
workshops and it was a naturalprogression.
When alt space closed, I cameinto Horizon World and continued
(03:25):
on.
So I do a talk show, weeklytalk show called Coached, and
it's on Wednesdays at 4 pmEastern time and Thursday nights
at 9 pm Eastern time, and I'malso doing workshops and
seminars over in Spatial nowonce a month and I did two
workshops on cyberbullying.
I did a workshop kind of likethis on stress and the workshop
(03:51):
on cyberbullying actually ledinto stress because people were
talking about what they'refeeling as a result of it.
So that's what I do.
I'm basically a behavioral lifecoach and motivational speaker.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Awesome, awesome.
Thank you, medico.
Okay, so let me kind of justlead into where we were at
before when this came up.
I mentioned the last time thatI had realized that stress can
affect my body, and here's letme share a little bit of a story
and maybe some of you canrelate to this.
I noticed that when I wasaround people and some of these
(04:24):
people are, you know, arefriends and stuff, and sometimes
they can be family members butwhen people started getting
negative, I started noticingthat my body was tensing up,
like there's like tensionbuilding and I was like whoa,
this is.
I think I'm paying moreattention to these things as I
get older, but I'm like, wow, Ican feel that tension.
(04:44):
Even my like my stomach gottight and I could feel my
muscles getting tight.
So do you have any insight inthis, like this?
I think this might be a goodplace to kind of start on this.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
The physiological part.
When our body and our minds arestressed, our bodies begin to
exert certain chemicals, and ifthose chemicals are not in
balance, they begin to affect usphysically at the same time
that they're affecting usmentally and emotionally.
And that's why sometimes, whenpeople get really stressed out,
(05:15):
they become more subject tocertain illnesses like colds,
headaches, especially gut, andintestinal problems especially
gut and intestinal problems,because the chemicals are
putting more acids and enzymesinto the body, because the body
is reacting to that stress, andso that's why we begin to feel
certain things and stress canmake an illness worse than what
(05:37):
it is otherwise Interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I was thinking about that how, no matter what sort of
health problem you have, ifyou've got unresolved stress or
chronic stress, you know itincreases your inflammation,
makes all of that worse.
So really it's in everyone'sbest interest to like really
take an honest look at yourstress levels and how you're
handling them, because any kindof problem you have in your life
is going to be made worse.
(06:01):
Sometimes it's hard to noticestress in your life, right?
You have in your life is goingto be made worse.
Sometimes it's hard to noticestress in your life, right?
Metacoach, we kind of talkedabout that last time that it's
hard to admit like I'm stressedand possibly not dealing with it
very well either.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Well, you know, and we exist in a stressful
environment and not all stressis bad stress.
There are certain stress thatare necessary to keep us moving,
to keep us motivated andeverything.
And I think I shared last timeabout the butterfly that the I
cut the cocoon open and I sharedthat story last time.
(06:35):
I think you did, but I think youshould share it because there's
a lot of new people here tooand so there was a guy who saw a
cocoon on his windowsill and hewatched it for a while and knew
it would open up and become abutterfly.
So he just happened at onemoment to be able to see the
butterfly trying to emerge fromthe cocoon.
So what he did?
(06:56):
He took a little razor bladeand slid it open to help the
butterfly out.
Well, the butterfly fell out onthe windowsill and he was
waiting for the wings to justopen up.
Well, the wings never opened upand he watched the butterfly
kind of hobble around for alittle bit and he watched and by
the end of the day thebutterfly had died.
(07:16):
And so he talked to a botanistfriend of his and told him what
had happened.
And his friends said well, whenthe butterfly is breaking out of
the cocoon, the stress and thepressure of pushing against the
cocoon open it up actuallyactivates enzymes and hormones
within the butterfly's musclesystem and causes those muscles
(07:37):
to immediately strengthen andflex so the butterfly's wings
can open up.
So without that stress thebutterfly was never able to
achieve its potential and openup.
And so there are good stressesthat apply to our lives, allow
us to be motivated, there aregood stresses that keep us safe.
(07:59):
There are good stresses thatkeep us aware of what's going on
around us, stresses that keepus aware of what's going on
around us.
But the problem becomes whenthose stresses get out of
balance, when the stresses beginto dominate us or the situation
, and sometimes those stressesare imagined stresses,
unrealistic stresses, and that'swhen they really get out of
(08:22):
control, because we're kind ofwired in such a way that we
always think of, we always thinkit's going to be the worst, and
so our minds go that way andstress can drive us to that
point where we go to thinkingthis is, this is bad, this is
going to be really bad and itactually, in our mind, just
worse than what it actually isin reality that's very
(08:44):
interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Like you're a lover of butterflies, did you know
that?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
No, I did not know that, but now I know I will not
not try to help a butterfly outof its cocoon for sure, but it's
, you know, it's interesting,medicoach, that really
correlates to something I justrecently learned, which is, you
know, we're kind of in a placeright now where you hear a lot
like inflammation.
That's your problem.
Inflammation is bad.
It's going to, you know, makeeverything worse.
(09:09):
But it's very interesting howthis correlates with exactly
what you just said about somestress being good.
If we didn't have inflammationat all, we wouldn't be able to
heal.
So, like, inflammation is agood thing in an immediate, you
know, isolated time when you'vecut yourself or you know
something along those lines, theinflammation is what brings
(09:32):
what needs to be there to healyou.
But when we are overwhelmingour body and we're inflamed all
the time, that's where problemsstart to happen.
And you can see the same withstress.
Like stress is good in smalllittle bits, in an isolated way,
but then, when it starts to beyour norm, then that's where
problems start to happen realizethat we're stressed, Things are
(10:04):
happening that we don't evenrecognize or realize and all of
a sudden something breaks and wewonder what happened.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Why did that happen?
Because we've been stressedabout something or stressed
about a situation and it wasn'tbeing managed.
But by the time we actually sawwhat was going on, you know
it's out of control.
There are bigger problems.
Speaker 7 (10:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
And I think that's where you're going to get into
like the chronic stress a littlebit, which I want to get to
that because it's something that, before we get into that, has
anybody here not heard ofchronic stress before?
If you have not, I have notheard of stress before, so I'm
throwing confetti for myself.
Okay, all right, riaz is notOkay, cool.
Not heard of stress before, soI am throwing confetti for
(10:46):
myself.
Okay, all right, rias is notokay, cool.
Thanks for being open to sharethat.
Like, yeah, I want to talkabout that because it was
something that was getting myattention as I was doing some
more research.
But before we go there, I wantto ask you something like when
it comes to, like you know,learning, learning right now
that stress can affect our, ourhealth and our bodies.
And at one moment, when Inoticed like my body was tensing
(11:08):
up because of the negativity,that stuff that was going on,
I'm like, oh, I just got to getout of this, I don't want to
hear this.
And I'm like this isn't good.
I can feel my body.
You know, I felt my muscle wasclenching.
So why do you think we oftenignore or downplay those
physical symptoms?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Well, there are a couple of reasons why we
probably do that Sometimes andthis kind of gets into chronic
stress.
Sometimes we exist so much withstress that we don't recognize
the stress.
We get used to it.
But it's damage.
We get used to it on a mentallevel that we're not really
(11:46):
associated with on a physicallevel, and so that's why we
sometimes we ignore it, becausewe're used to it.
Sometimes we ignore it becausewe don't want to face an issue.
So if I don't see it, it's nothappening.
I was talking to one of mylittle nephews.
He was about four years old andhe come up to me had his eyes
(12:09):
closed.
He said you can't see me.
He had his hands over his eyes.
You can't see me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha over his eyes.
You can't see me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
So I didn't think I couldn'tsee him, you know.
But we're like that sometimeswith stress.
You know we ignore it, you knowwe look away from it.
We look away from a situationand so therefore we don't see it
(12:34):
coming and it can catch us offguard.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Ms Kluge, would you say that, when it comes to
stress, are you more likely tonot realize it, because it's
something that you're justconstantly like you've dealt
with over and over?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you're trying to
avoid?
Or do you feel like it'ssomething that you're trying to
avoid.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
That's interesting because I would say just in the
last year I've learned to feelthe cues in my body that are
telling me I'm stressed.
So it's really, it's reallyfunny, you know, kind of.
One of the reasons we evenstarted talking about this is I
was in kind of a stressfulsituation with a client that I
(13:14):
work for, and I would noticethat when I was driving there I
would have a stomach ache.
And I thought it was, you knowsomething.
I ate something, I dranksomething along those lines, and
then it just dawned on me likeI am dreading going to this
house, and so it just made mestart to say what are these
(13:37):
physical signs that I've beenignoring?
Because I thought, you know, Ithought there was something else
, I thought there was nothing tobe done, and so that's kind of
part of the reason why I evenstarted talking about this with
Brian.
But I think if I am going toignore something, brian, it's
because I think if I am going toignore something, brian, it's
because so I don't know how manypeople feel like this, but
(13:57):
sometimes I feel like if I openthis door where I'm going to
walk into this emotion, it'sgoing to open up so much that
it's going to overwhelm me and Idon't have time to deal with
that right now.
Grief is kind of like that, youknow.
You can feel something comingon and you're like I do not have
time for that right now.
So you have to stuff it awayfor a while.
(14:19):
But the trick is setting asidetime to deal with those things,
because if you keep stuffing,everybody knows that's going to
explode out at some point.
But yeah, so if I'm going toignore something, that's the
reason why, because I feel likeI can't deal with it right now.
So it's a problem withoverscheduling again.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Really, at the end of the day, for me, For some
reason I would just look aroundat people in the cars and I
would look at the expressions onpeople's face.
Some people look like they werejust really just checked out.
There are people who look likethey were in agony.
Very seldom did I see somebodythat was like smiling.
(14:58):
But one day I was driving alongand this lady I guess she had
some music going and she wasjust you know and when I looked
I smiled, you know, and Inoticed that other people that
could see her were like going,yeah, so whatever they were
dealing with at that moment thescholars and the stressed out
(15:20):
people they saw this person thatwas just enjoying themselves
and for that moment those peoplewere able to kind of put aside
whatever was going on.
I know a lot of people areheaded to work and they go I
hate my boss, you know andthey're just dreading and that
drive is like the longest drivein the world.
But that moment of seeing thiswoman just really just jamming
(15:42):
to her music, because it put asmile on my face and I wasn't
even thinking now about what Ihad to do when I got to work.
I was just enjoying her moment.
But what it made me realize isthat we do have the ability to
step away from stress.
Sure, yeah, that's good, thinkabout that.
That means that I can actuallytake a moment and say wait a
(16:03):
minute, why am I stressed?
Am I overstressed?
Am I putting too much pressureon myself?
And really begin to ask myselfsome pertinent questions about
what's going on.
And sometimes, by the time youask yourself those pertinent
questions, the stress seems reallittle, or you're stressed
about something that's not evenrealistic anymore.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, that's so true.
It just reminds me of a quickthing.
I was sitting out on my balconyone day.
I saw my neighbor walking youknow we're on the second story
and so she was down on thesidewalk and she didn't know I
was sitting out on my balconyone day I saw my neighbor
walking we're on the secondstory and so she was down on the
sidewalk and she didn't know Iwas up there and she had on her
earbuds or whatever, and as shewas walking she was kind of
singing and she just went likethis and it just made me smile
(16:47):
so big I thought look at that,she doesn't care who's watching,
she's just enjoying her music.
And I told Brian and he laughedabout it Like it was just so
cute.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So it's amazing how something little like that you
just like expressing your joycan affect people around you and
you don't even know there'sanyone else there Exactly.
And sometimes it's just thosemoments for me to take a step
back and say, wow, for thatmoment I wasn't feeling this.
So now, what to do to get tothat place more than I'm at this
(17:17):
place?
Now I'm going to give kind of atechnical example of good and
bad stress.
When you hop on an airplane andtake off, that airplane has to
be pressurized when it gets intothe air to keep it from
exploding.
Oh, that's why they do that.
Yeah, because the higher theairplane goes, the lower the air
(17:43):
pressure on the outside.
So they have to pressurize theend of the aircraft to keep the
structure stressed, pushingoutward.
So then as the aircraftdescends, the pressure inside
the aircraft and that's why youget the ear popping and all that
kind of stuff because thepressure inside is decreasing.
(18:03):
So once you land now you're backto normal pressure, whatever
altitude you're at.
But once that airplane getsback in the air, the inside has
to pressurize to keep thatstress pushing out.
So the same way, we havecertain stress within our bodies
that are pushing out to keep usfocused, that are pushing out
to keep us moving forward, tokeep us aware, those pressures,
(18:26):
and so those pressures, Iconsider them like safety valves
.
Safety pressure.
Like safety valves, safetypressure, you know, being aware
of my surrounding, criticalthinking, taking care of my
internal health to make surethat I'm able to function at my
best.
Those are those internalpressures that kind of push the
(18:47):
walls out to keep the world fromcaving in on me.
But it's when we don't takecare of those selves on a
physical level, all those thingsbegin to happen, like if we get
too much stress on the outside,we can end up getting sick.
And that's when the internalpressures are being overcome by
the external pressures.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, wow, that's very insightful, so I do want to
.
I don't know if I should thankyou for this medical coach, but
now when I get on an airplane,that anxiety thing I'm going to
be like are you guys sure thepressure is good?
Take this thing off, anythingexploding.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Now I'm going to have that in my mind every time I
get an airplane my ears poppingagain now.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I think, that's very insightful.
I never knew that, but I lovethat.
That's such a great analogy.
Is that the right word?
Analogy Is that the right word?
We do have some questions.
I want to bring up some ofthese Q and A's before we
continue.
Let's go and bring up like wehave lost virtually first, and
then we'll bring up littleWillie and then left.
So lost virtually.
(19:46):
Come on down to the Q and a,mike, and feel free to share
your, your thought or questionthat you have about this topic
today.
So thanks for joining us.
Lost virtually.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Lost.
Thanks for being here.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
How are you doing Lost Good?
How are you doing Good Good?
You know the connection betweenthe physical body and the
mental body.
One thing I found that happensto me and I don't know whether
it happens to anybody else, butI think there is some scientific
backing is that after I'vedealt with an incredibly
(20:20):
stressful situation, sometimesI'll get sick, and I think what
happens is the body's smartenough to know not to get you
sick during that super, you know, and then it waits until I'm to
get you sick during that super,you know, and then it waits
until time to get you sick.
I want to know your thoughts onthat.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That's very insightful and there's a lot of
scientific research around that.
And so to kind of put it kindof in a nutshell, what you
experience like if you're really, really stressed out, going
through something, your body iscompensating, but that
compensation is almost anovercompensation.
All those chemicals that arebeing produced in your body to
(21:04):
keep you going, to keep you upand keep your stem, external
pressure takes over.
That's direct some havoc on youby then and that's why, once
that external pressure goes,then those things are free to do
they need to do.
The damage is already beingthere, yeah, but but you know
the external pressure is keepingyou.
You know the internal andexternal pressure kind of
(21:26):
pushing against each other soyou're not feeling the effects
immediately of it and uh, andthat that happens more often
than we think.
And I remember when I wasfinishing up my, my, my master's
degree, I graduated and I wentthrough an intensive, intensive
program where I did my master'sdegree in one year.
Whoa, it was intense, you knowtalking about three nights,
(21:50):
three, three days a week.
I was in school to do this.
Wow, and it was intense.
And when I graduated I camehome and I fell asleep and I was
asleep for almost 12 hours andthen when I got up, I felt weak
and just just dis, disdisoriented.
I didn't feel like eating for acouple days.
(22:11):
You know, I forced myself toeat but it was like I couldn't.
I couldn't feel like eating fora couple of days.
You know, I forced myself toeat but it was like I couldn't.
I couldn't enjoy the victory ofgraduating because I felt so
run down and weak from it.
Because during that time mybody was constantly moving and I
was working full time at thesame time Also moving forward.
I was under this stress.
But once all that stress wasgone, my body said OK, we're
(22:32):
going to kick your butt now.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Now it's time to pay the price.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
That's interesting, so you're right on that.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's kind of like I don't know how many of you have
ever, you know, watched skinnedoverdivers and watched what
happens.
If they come up too fast.
They get sick, yeah, and thereason being because the
pressure the deeper you go, it'sso great up on the body that
you know your body is constantlytrying to regulate to that
(23:03):
pressure.
But if you come up too fastthen the anal pressure overrides
the external pressure andthat's why people get sick, get
the bends, get cramps, get allkinds of things.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Really good insight there, lost Virtually.
Thanks for bringing that man.
That was really good.
Let's go ahead and bring upLittle Willie.
Little Willie, come on.
Lost Virtually.
Speaker 7 (23:23):
You got one thing you want to add, go ahead.
Yeah, I just have one thing toadd.
Is that because of that, now,anytime I get sick and it
doesn't happen every time,anytime I get sick it actually
causes me to reflect?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
what stressful situation did.
Speaker 7 (23:41):
I just come through and it works as like.
Okay, every time you get sickyou ask yourself that question.
It's a nice little mentalexercise.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
That's a signal to you like, hey, something might
be stressing you out.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Reflecting on how you've you know maybe gone wrong
.
That's good, hey Lil.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Willie, thanks for joining us tonight.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
My first time on the show.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Thanks for being here .
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Yeah, I really like this.
Yeah, I was just I'm glad thathe said that, because in
Virginia we got a saying thatpressure will bust a pipe, and
that means I mean we say that,we've been saying that for years
.
We say that because we havealways been aware of how the
stress can mess with your body.
(24:32):
Actually, some years ago Istarted to like change my since
the pandemic.
It made me change my wholeperspective on how I allow
things to my body, because Ineed my resources, you know, to
keep going and I understand howum, a lot of times like it's
(24:56):
based on a person's um, how theyview, you know, their
perspective on life in the worldaround them themselves all of
that which will probably yourbelief systems, your belief
patterns, what you believe, thatcan upset you at times.
You know what.
(25:16):
I'm saying how you what youbelieve on the inside can have
you like really stressed, evenif it's incorrect, it could be
incorrect.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Oh sure.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
You know it, don't you know, but we still have.
So a lot of people still havethat thought pattern, you know.
And then certain things willtrigger that thought pattern and
there you go.
But the best thing I found outis you know, find the source of
your discontent and then dosomething about it to bring that
(25:48):
down.
Because I noticed I had gotinto an argument with a guy and
he followed me to the doctor'soffice and when I got to the
doctor she told me that my bloodpressure was really high.
She said give me five minutesand we're going to take it again
.
When I came down, my bloodpressure came down, and that's
(26:09):
right.
There is when I finallyrealized that I needed to go a
different way of how I look atthings myself and the world
around me, and that has beenhelping me a lot and that's one
of the one of the telltale signssometimes blood pressure going
up because it's a stress.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's a stress factor, you know.
Our hearts are beating faster,there's a lot of things going on
when we're, when we're stressedout.
So you, you think about youknow, you, you, you're walking
down the street and a car almostruns into you.
Yeah, and you and you, thatmoment you go, you, you're
walking down the street and acar almost runs into you, yeah,
and that moment you go, you know, you're like, wow, that was
close, you know.
And so if you were to take yourblood pressure at that moment,
(26:51):
you would like, hey, I think Ineed to head to the ER right,
quick here, you know.
Yeah.
But you know, you take a moment, you get a grip and you go.
Ok, you know, I see what wasgoing on, so your blood pressure
starts to come down.
But there are other things thathappen in our body too, like
that with the, with the anxietyand stress.
Because now, if we don't let goof that and realize that was a
moment and we hold on to that,we go and walk down the street
(27:13):
now and every car that passes meI'm looking at that car.
Is that car gonna hit me?
Is that car gonna hit me?
Oh no, that car is gettingclose pretty soon.
We end up with what you talkabout, chronic stress, because
now I begin to see stresseverywhere.
I begin to create environmentsbecause that last moment, that
last thing was so intense thatit's imprinted in my mind.
(27:36):
It's imprinted so now I seedanger every time.
I see something that looks likethat.
I know adults who are afraid ofdogs because, as a toddler, a
dog bit them or either chasethem, and now they don't like
the dogs.
You know because of that, youknow, so you think about the joy
(27:56):
that they're missing out on.
I'm not like a dog.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
So true.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But to them that dog represents that stress, that
trauma that they've never beenable to go over.
So now they see a dog and theyhave that stress.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
I wanted to say to little Willie good for you for
recognizing that and deciding tochange your mindset.
I think that's so important.
You know, if we could all likelook at the things that have
caused us trauma in the past, orthings you know, habits that we
realize are affecting ourhealth, like we have the ability
to change those things if wewant to, and I I just appreciate
(28:34):
you telling that story becauseit reminds me, like there's
things that I'm seeing, that I,I have the power to change those
things in my life, and I'm Ishould appreciate that reminder.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Let's go and bring up Lep Lep, come on down, come on
down, lep.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
All right, I don't have a question.
I just basically just wanted tosay you know, having this
platform and what you guys aredoing in MetaCoach, we really
appreciate having you here inthe metaverse and just sharing
what your knowledge and what youknow about stress and how to
deal with it and stuff.
So I just want to commend youfor that and you just keep doing
(29:09):
what you're doing.
God bless you Awesome.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Thank you, that is so sweet.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Thank you so sweet, we have one more.
We have one more on the QA list.
Let's go ahead and bring upIris.
Iris, come on down, iris.
Speaker 7 (29:20):
Thank you again more uh let's wait one more on the qa
list let's go ahead and bringup iris.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Iris, come on down.
That means so much.
It really does welcome iriswell I'm, because you get a
butterfly on her shirt thebutterfly.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
I'm only half joking when I say that I've I've had
more stress in the last fewyears than probably anyone.
But that's that's.
That's another story.
I've been, I've been um dealingwith long covid for about four
years now and I've had all thepodcasts about and and youtube
about every little shred ofresearch you know and everything
lately that everybody's talkingabout the vegas nerve.
(29:54):
What do you know about this?
Oh, it's a miracle if you resetyour vegas nerve and everything
will fall into place, and Ihaven't heard of that.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
You haven't heard about the vagus nerve.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
I have been hearing some about that, iris.
Yeah, I would love to researchthat, though, and talk with you
more about it, because I justsaw a couple of exercises you
can do to reset your vagus nerveand, yeah, it really has to do
with the way that you'reperceiving stress, right, mm-hmm
.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Yeah, no, it's the master regulator of your entire
body and if it gets dysregulatedwhich is the very definition of
long COVID is a dysregulatedbody.
Yeah, if you can reset yourvagus nerve then, like I said,
they seem to think all theseother things will fall into
place magically and yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Yeah, I mean.
I honestly yeah, I doubt ifit's that simple, seem to think
all these other things will fallinto place magically and yeah,
yeah, yeah, I mean I honestlysee.
Yeah, I doubt if it's thatsimple.
You know what I mean, like,because there's so many factors
that affect our bodies, you know, between our gut and you know,
uh, chemicals, hormones, likethere's so much going on in your
body.
But who knows, maybe I'm wrong,but yeah, I would love to
research that.
Let's.
Let's come back and talk aboutthat soon.
(31:01):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Called the Vegas nerve.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah, if I remember correctly, I think it's spelled
V-A-G-U-S.
Is that right, iris?
Does that sound right to you?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, ok, so I have seen some things about it, but
OK so not like Las Vegas OKexactly I was going to say I
don't know.
It sounds like you might begambling here a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I knew that's what you guys are thinking.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
See Okay, thank you, that helps.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Maybe if we come back and talk about it, we can redo
the studio as like Vegas.
Oh, that would be fun.
Have a little bit of fun withit.
Well, okay, so let me go aheadand go back here to the topic
for a second.
I noticed, like when I, when Igo back to the story of my body,
like how I was noticing that,uh, as I was noticing it, I also
(31:49):
noticed that when my bodystarts feeling like that, then I
would do to that, like stressand anxiety, I guess, or even
that you know that situationthat I'm in, that it I could
tend to it, I could tend to ittended to affect my how I
related to others, how I eventreated others.
That was close to me.
And here's my question what'sthe best way I got two off of
this, two off of this thoughthere?
The first one was what's thebest way to communicate to
(32:13):
people that were stressedwithout being seen as weak or
not equipped to handle asituation.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Okay, you know and I'm glad you asked that question
because something is so keybecause sometimes people don't
know how to communicate that andso they try and keep stress in
because they think it's the bestthing to do.
I don't even want to talk aboutit.
Yeah, I'm stressed out.
I don't want to talk about itbecause you may not be able to
(32:37):
listen to me anyway or you maynot care, and so it kind of puts
more stress on the stress andit gets down to the point where
you have to sometimes just stopand say hold up just a moment,
let me tell you what's going onright now.
Let me tell you what I'mfeeling right now.
(32:58):
Not to be offensive to you, Ineed to let you know that.
You know that right now I gotsome things going on, you know,
and I need for you to listen tome.
So you have to communicate it.
There's not a simple press playand do it.
It has to be confronted, it hasto be communicated, and and I
had that situation, you know,leading leading teams where I
(33:19):
would have a person on my teamthat was extremely stressed out
and you give them assignment goget it done.
And it took me a little bit tostart listening to what they
were saying.
I found that I had an employeethat was so stressed out one
time that I didn't know it, andthe way I found out he was
stressed.
He came to work the next dayand he had a bruise on his face
and I thought did you get into afight last night or something?
(33:42):
And he goes no, I fell and Isaid, oh, you got to be careful.
And then he stopped.
He said I need to talk to you,boss.
He said something's going on.
He said I fell last night andover 45 minutes on the ground
and he said I got up.
He said I thought I had justfall.
(34:06):
He said I got home and Irealized that I had missed the
show that I that I was goinghome to watch.
And he said I started countingback the time, thinking about
when I left the gym and when ithappened.
And he said I got somethinggoing on.
So I immediately sent him tothe, to the hospital, and this
guy's blood pressure was almost200.
He was so.
And then I you know so.
Then I you know when he, when hecame back to work, he had a
medical excuse, not, you know,to come back, but he wanted to
let me know what was going on.
He was stressed about theworkload.
He thought he was about to failand he had failed before, and
(34:27):
he thought, ok, this is going tocost me my job on this one.
And I asked him why didn't youcome and tell me that you had
this much stress going on?
And he goes.
Well, I'm supposed to handle myjob, I'm supposed to be able to
do this.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
So it was one of these thingswhere he couldn't accept the
(34:49):
fact that, hey, we all get to aplace where things overwhelm us.
And it really, really made metake a look at myself and say
what kind of pressure am Iputting on my team, made me take
a look at myself and say whatkind of pressure am I putting on
my team?
Good, and so I had a talk withmy team.
I said if you ever, ever, ever,feel that I'm being unrealistic
(35:09):
or putting too much on you, yougot to push back and let me
know.
Okay, you know, because I canpush back on people above me to
protect you all, but I can'tprotect you if I don't know
what's going on.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Anybody that's listening to the podcast replay,
or even people here.
If you're a leader, I thinkthat's such a beautiful thing to
look at too, like it's bothsides, like even as a leader,
when someone does step up,you've got to be able to ask
yourself some personal questionsand evaluate the health of your
team as well.
So I love that you pointed thatout, because we can learn from
that.
So I really Can I say somethingreal quick about that.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I just recognized something interesting.
You know, it's never onceoccurred to me that if I
admitted that I was stressed,that it would make me seem weak.
It's for me and I don't know ifthis is a man-woman thing or
just personality difference it'shard for me to say to someone
you know, I need a coupleminutes like I'm feeling
overwhelmed and stressed.
I feel like I'm going to comeoff as rude.
(36:03):
So I don't think like they'regoing to think I'm weak.
I think they're going to thinkI'm rude Like I'm, I don't care
about what they're doing, Idon't care about what they need,
I only care about what I feellike.
So isn't that interesting.
I never realized I never putthat together for you, brian
(36:23):
that like you have a hard timesaying you're stressed or
overwhelmed because you wouldlook weak.
I never thought about thatbeing a possibility.
That's really interesting to me.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
You know, and that's powerful insight.
So, like what you're saying,you know you don't want to come
across as rude.
He doesn't want to come acrossas weak.
So what do we do?
We hold our stress in and wedon't, we don't communicate it.
But for the best interest ofeverybody involved, those
conversations need to take place.
(36:50):
They may not feel comfortable,but they need to take place.
And what happens?
Almost 100 percent of the timeI say almost that when it's said
, hey, I need a moment, I'mstressed, the other person
that's hearing that willprobably say wow, okay, take a
moment.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Because it's going to cause them hopefully, if
they're a decent human being,it's going to cause them to back
up and say, yeah, whoa okay.
But you know there are thosepeople that tell you hey, suck
it up.
Hey, yeah, well okay.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
But you know there are those people that tell you,
hey, suck it up, get back inthere, we don't have time to
suck it up.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
That's what I tell my dog all the time.
Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
A little Yorkie.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
But I want to, you know, talk a little bit more
about chronic stress for aminute, because that's something
that I think we deal with moreoften than what we realize.
And here's something that I'vefound through my coaching
practice and just living thatmany of us deal with low level,
(37:48):
low vibration depression.
You know, we live in a world anda culture where there's so much
negativity.
If you listen to the news andlisten to the political
landscape and listen to the warsand listen to everything, it
feels like the world is aboutready to implode.
(38:09):
Yeah, and it might be, whoknows, but the fact is you're
taking all this in and it's justcoming into you like a virus,
just feeding all this negativity, and so it's hard to raise up
and find that positive moment.
And so because of this, thislow level depression, because of
(38:31):
all the things that are goingon, we also pick up this low
level stress and it tends toride on this current of
depression.
So you got these two layersthat are riding right there and
what happens is those layersbegin to kind of feed off each
other and kind of expand, butit's doing it so slowly that
(38:54):
we're living it, we're gettingused to it and we're not
realizing that.
We just have this chronicstress until something breaks
and we go where did that comefrom?
Speaker 1 (39:04):
oh yeah you know, I I love that you're pointing out
because that was what wasinteresting for me when I was
learning about chronic stresstoday and I only learned just a
little bit.
I was like, wow, there'sdifferent types of stress.
What's this chronic stress andlearning that it can?
What you're pointing out thisis what I want to share is
because what you're pointing outright now I'm like, wow, you're
so right.
If we really think about all thestuff that's coming in, that
(39:26):
we're listening to anddownloading into us every day,
that is continuing to add and Inever heard it said that with a
low level of stress, andsometimes those things we've got
friends that when they turn thenews, that's all they're
thinking about, they're verystressed out and anxious about
it.
But they learn that thischronic stress can actually lead
to long-term problems, like,like I was reading, like heart
(39:49):
disease, blood pressure, uh,weak immune systems, like I'm
like whoa, like, and you know welook at I mean, obviously we
know food can do that too, but Ifeel like a lot of stuff is
looked at like that and we'rekind of ignoring this these
avenues, or these feet, breasts,that's coming in that we don't
realize it.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah and so, and so our body is chemically
processing stress and anxiety.
This stuff is pouring into ourgut, pouring into our liver, you
know, pouring into our muscles,because that's why people, when
they get stressed, they getmuscle aches, because the
tension and the stress.
So all that's going on, theclenched jaw, you know the
(40:31):
cracked teeth, because people'sjaws are so clenched, because
all that pressure, that stressis going on inside their body
and it's built up over time andit's trying to release itself,
and the release is not alwayspretty, wow.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
So true.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
That's really.
It's like the straw that brokethe camel's back gives me about
like every day, like what we'redoing wow, well, I know we're
getting close to the time herein medical.
I want to thank you so muchagain for coming back and
talking about this, because I'mgonna be processing a lot of
this afterwards there's so muchhere and doing some more
(41:12):
research and and I encourageeverybody here to do the same
thing or if you're listening tothe podcast, you know, really
start thinking about thesethings.
It's just recently told this toshauna, to mrs killer b just a
couple days ago.
Uh, I'm working with thisclient and this isn't like
stress, but I could realizethere was something like there's
more to it.
(41:32):
To each one of us.
I know we all have our ownthings and I'm kind of like an
open book so and with that comesthe bad jokes too.
So I'm sorry, but one of thethings that I noticed just
recently was I'm working with aclient and he's a friend of mine
too, and I wrote an articleabout some stuff that happened
and I shared it with him.
(41:53):
I was like see this first workwith them and just kind of get
your thoughts.
And he wrote back.
The next morning I woke up and Iopened up my phone and it said
I love this exclamation point.
He's like I really hope peopleget what is being said here.
Exclamation point, exclamationpoint, exclamation point.
Now, when I read that, mythought was he's just saying
(42:13):
that and I started feeling like.
I started feeling this pressureand I'm like and I told Mrs
Killerby, I was like somethingisn't right there.
I was like, you know, we talkabout our past and like you were
talking about how it'sinteresting that I think I don't
want to be seen as weak and, asyou know, some of my past, with
things that's happened like,those things kind of like have a
(42:34):
spot inside that plays a roleand where some of the stress
might be, you know, raised to.
So I'm trying to be more andmore aware of these things when
they come up, but not keeping itto myself and say, hey, I can
trust my wife, I want to shareher.
Like, hey, I got this text andI don't.
There's something.
I shouldn't feel this way.
When I read this, I should belike, hey, I mean, I was like
(42:56):
that many exclamation points, Ishouldn't be thinking he's just
saying that.
I was like that's something'swrong there and I was like, and
I need to figure this out andget past that.
So I want to encourageeverybody here whatever you
might have little moments likethat, be aware of like finding
somebody to talk to.
If it's a coach or someone thatyou're close to in your family,
(43:17):
your spouse, a good friend findsomeone that you can lean into
and share these things and gothrough this process, because I
think that's going to help us.
What are your thoughts on that?
Is this good advice or am Ilike Brian?
Speaker 2 (43:31):
this is no exclamation points.
We need to have that trustedperson that we can go and just
be open and raw, say, hey, thisis me.
Person that we can go and justbe open and raw, say, hey, this
is me.
Because that is that is vitalto have somebody like that that
you can open up to and that wayyou you can deal with those
things, get them out, feel, feelthe pain, feel the fear, feel
(43:51):
whatever it is in a safe placeand that person, if it's a
trusted person, can help to pickup the pieces and get back into
the battle.
But sometimes we just need thatsafe place.
But people who don't have thatsafe place, they keep that stuff
bottled up and, like I say, itcomes out sometimes in a very,
(44:13):
very ugly, messy way.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
So true, and here's one thing that I've discovered
through my life the happiestpeople I know have two qualities
, and that's gratitude andgenerosity.
Speaker 5 (44:30):
Love that.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
You know, I find that people who are truly grateful
see the world in a different way.
Grateful see the world in adifferent way.
They don't see this stress allthe time because they're being
grateful for the positive sideof things.
They're not ignoring thenegative side, yeah, but they're
looking for the positive, andthat positive and the things to
(44:52):
be grateful for are actuallykind of minimizing and taking
the edge off of the negative.
And the fact of being generousmeans that I'm actually looking
beyond my struggle, lookingbeyond myself and pushing
something out to someone else.
So those two qualities arevital when it comes to dealing
(45:15):
with that chronic stress andchronic you know trauma that
people are dealing with.
When you can get to that placewhere gratitude and generosity
are the way you live, otherthings tend to fall into place.
Priorities shift, you begin tohave a different perspective on
the things that are going on.
Oh man, that's good, very good,if somebody confides in you and
(45:37):
you become that trusted advisor.
Never, never, violate that,because that is going to make
that person even more stressedout because now they're less
trustful.
But it also takes so much outof a relationship.
Confidentiality and being ableto be that trusted advisor is
the gift that you can give toother people.
(45:58):
Yeah, Beautiful.
Speaker 7 (45:58):
So, true.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
And what a gift to give, can give to other people
yeah.
Beautiful, so true, and what agift to give.
What a beautiful gift to give.
Well, you guys, I want to thankyou again, metacoach, for
coming out.
Speaker 5 (46:06):
Usually.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
I ask for a closing thought, but I think tonight I
know MetaCoach, I know you're abeliever in with the stress and
stuff that everybody's dealingwith and I think a lot of us are
probably.
I think a lot of people areprobably dealing with that lower
stress that we don't evenrealize what's going on with
what we've talked about.
Would you would you mind toclose out in prayer that God
(46:28):
would help us be aware of thatRight and then afterwards,
everybody will jump here andwe'll grab a selfie together.
So we'd love to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Most gracious Lord, as we come to you tonight in the
precious and mighty name ofJesus.
Father, I just want to thank youfor this venue, for this
opportunity, for this fantasticcouple that hosts this show
tonight, and I just want tothank you for every person
that's here tonight, becausewe're not here by accident and,
father, as we're dealing withstress and dealing with anxiety
(46:58):
and dealing with all thecomplications that are happening
in the world, in this world,but you tell us to be careful
for nothing, but all things,through prayer and supplication,
that we bring our cares to you,we bring our burdens to you and
that we put our trust in youbecause, lord, that is the only
answer that is going to be atrue answer.
I just pray for each and everyperson that's here, no matter
(47:20):
what stress they're dealing with, what anxiety, that, lord, that
you speak to their heart, shineyour spirit and light into
their heart and show them theway out, show them the path
forward.
And, lord, that not only dothey go forward but they turn
around and begin to be able tohelp other people.
That we have this spark ofhealing, this spark that just
(47:43):
blossoms and blooms and blazes.
That healing takes place as aresult of what you're doing.
So we give you thanks, father.
We just ask that you continueto bless this metaphor situation
to grow, that we're able tobring your word, bring your
opportunities here for people togrow, and we thank you in
Jesus' name.
We pray Amen.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
If you enjoyed this episode don't forget to follow
this podcast and leave us areview.
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