October 2, 2025 • 48 mins
What if the worst thing that happened to you could become your strongest edge? We sit down with Coach Rob Wheeler—a Navy veteran, former federal police officer, and founder of Battlefitted — to trace a hard path through hazing-level abuse, stacked PTSD, divorce, the loss of a parent, and a gym shuttered by lockdowns. No platitudes here. Rob shows how he rebuilt identity with three simple, demanding pillars: fitness, mindset, and disciplined systems that hold when motivation fails.
You’ll hear the origin moment on a Jacksonville payphone when going home wasn’t an option, the years serving in law enforcement that deepened moral injury, and the day he turned in his badge to save his mental health. Coach Rob breaks down practical tools that work!
We also explore an integrated view of masculinity that holds emotion and strength together: cry at the milestones, protect your family, be hard to kill, and be easy to help. Coach Rob unpacks imposter syndrome, the power of asking boldly, and the brotherhood he’s building through the Battle Harder podcast — real stories from people who turned adversity into action. If trauma, stagnation, or self-doubt has you boxed in, this conversation offers a working blueprint to turn pain into progress and reclaim purpose with small, repeatable steps.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
New normal big life.
Imagine hitting rock bottom,post-traumatic stress, grouping
your nights, obesity, weighingdying your days, a divorce
shattering your world.
That's where Coach Rog Wheelerfound himself after a decade in
the military and years as afederal police officer.
But he didn't stay there.
Through raw discipline and amindset forged in fire, he built
(00:25):
battle-fitted, coaching men withlessons for us all to transform
suffering into strength.
In this episode of the NewNormal Big Life podcast, Coach
Robb reveals how a battle-fittedmindset isn't about avoiding
pain, it's about wielding it asa weapon for growth.
If trauma, failure, orstagnation holds you back, Coach
(00:47):
Rob's story proves one shift canrewrite your life.
Let's learn how.
Hi friends, welcome to the NewNormal Big Life Podcast.
We bring you natural news andstories about nature that we
hope will inspire you to getoutside and adventure, along
with a step-by-step plan to helpyou practice what you've learned
and create your own new normaland live the biggest life you
(01:08):
can dream.
I'm your host, Antoinette Lee,the Wellness Warrior.
Before we dive into today'stransformational topic with
Coach Rob Wheeler, I want togive a shout out to a new
listener.
Irena, thank you so much foryour kind five-star review in
Apple Podcasts.
I'm so glad you're part of ourcommunity.
(01:29):
So let's talk about forgingresilience.
We'll learn how a battlefieldmindset transforms lives.
What if the real enemy isn't thepain you've endured, but the
story you tell yourself aboutit?
In a world that often glorifiesquick fixes, Coach Rob Realer's
journey stands out.
(01:49):
Coach Rob Realer is a U.S.
military veteran, resiliencecoach, and the unapologetic
voice behind the Battle Harderpodcast, a show that cuts
through the noise and gets realabout overcoming adversity,
rebuilding identity, andreclaiming purpose.
As the founder of the BattlefitIt movement, Coach Robb helps
(02:10):
men over 30 who've been brokenby life, divorce, trauma, job
loss, addiction, rebuild theirdiscipline, fitness, and mindset
from the ground up.
After battling through his ownrock bottom, Coach Rob turned
his pain into a blueprint forprogress, now coaching others
through his signature eight-weekforge program and mindset
(02:32):
journal.
Whether it's in the gym, on themic, or in a one-on-one coaching
call, Coach Rob's mission issimple: help men armor up, stop
hiding from the fight, and leadfrom the front again.
His content blends military gritwith vulnerable truth.
No fluff, no sugarcoating, justreal talk from real
(02:53):
transformation.
With every episode, product, andprogram, Coach Rob is building
more than a brand.
He's building a brotherhood.
His message resonates far gone,resonant veterans.
It's a blueprint for anyoneready to fight back against a
mindset that's holding themhostage.
(03:13):
So here's the tragedy of a toxicmindset.
A toxic mindset doesn't justwhisper doubts, it architects
downfall.
This fixed outlook fueled acycle of self-sabotage.
It skipped workouts, warped intoweight gain, unresolved trauma,
(03:35):
bred isolation, and fear offailure stalled every new
venture.
Research echoes this harshreality.
Psychologist Carol Dweck,pioneer of the growth mindset
theory, explained that thosestuck in a fixed mindset view
abilities as innate, inborn, ornatural and unchangeable,
leading to avoidance ofchallenges and a lifetime of
(03:58):
regret.
Let's learn how to break freefrom this toxic way of thinking
with Coach Rob Wheeler.
Rob, welcome to New Normal BigLife, brother.
Thank you.
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm excited for thisconversation.
This is actually a milestoneevent for me because you're the
first veteran that I've newnormal big life.
(04:19):
Yes, I have several lined up,but we planned the interviews
months ago, but our calendarjust couldn't line up to get
them on until after yourinterview.
So you're my first veteran.
I'm very excited to start um myveteran series with you.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
So let's make this the show to end all shows then.
All right, brother.
That sounds good.
SPEAKER_01 (04:43):
So tell me what pivotal moment or crucible in
your life that you were facedwith a significant challenge
that you overcame and grew andshaped into you this
transformational coach that youare today.
And how do you use thatexperience to help others turn
their pain into purpose andprogress?
SPEAKER_00 (05:03):
I mean, I don't know if we have enough time for that,
but um my my whole life has beenpivotal, so to speak.
I mean, um, I don't think peopleare made to suffer, but I've
just been one of those guys thathave had to face so much, like
so much unbelievable adversityin my life.
And I had to choose whether Iwas gonna let that break me and
(05:25):
and end my life, so to speak,um, or if I was going to come
back from that and, you know,thank God that I decided to
fight through it and continue tofight through it.
Um, and try to use that now as asuperpower, so to speak, so I
can hopefully help uh otherpeople do the same thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:45):
Well, tell us some of the most significant events
because I think the audience canreally relate to um our personal
stories and how we got to wherewe are now.
SPEAKER_00 (05:59):
Yeah, definitely.
I'll see if I can um condense ituh a little bit.
So uh I went into the Navy um in1997.
Um, when I went into the Navy, Iwas uh 21.
I really didn't have anything inmy mind or heart and soul as far
as purpose or what I wanted todo with my life.
Uh it was kind of a forced thingfrom my parents.
(06:20):
Um they got tired of me livingat home and kind of mooching off
of them.
And the funny thing is that Itell on a lot of podcasts is my
father owned his own business.
He would get up at 5 a.m.
to go to work.
Right before he left, he wouldliterally kick open, like I
think my door was broken aftersix months, but he literally
like kick open my door and hewould say, he would just say one
thing, join the navy, and hewould walk out.
(06:42):
So my idea was, okay, f you dad,I'm gonna join the Navy.
Well, you know, obviously thatdidn't work.
He got exactly what he wanted.
I got, you know, out of thehouse, and uh it was a big
culture shock for me to haveeverything essentially given to
me.
I I mean, I grew up and I wouldsay what I thought at the time
was upper middle class.
Um, so I didn't have to ask foranything.
(07:03):
Um, I wasn't expected to reallydo much other than normal things
like clean my room or you know,wash a dish after I used it kind
of thing.
Normal stuff, nothing crazy.
So a real culture shock when Ijoined the Navy, and uh when I
went to the recruiter inCalifornia, uh they I didn't
have anybody, like I didn't haveanybody in my area that went
(07:25):
into the military, I didn't haveany guidance, I didn't have any
structure.
So the first thing, anybodylistening to this, if you decide
to join the military branch,which I think is an amazing,
beautiful thing, have someonethat you know and trust that
knows the system go with youbecause even today that can
really jack you up in terms ofwhat kind of job you do, what
kind of service you go into.
(07:46):
So my recruiter, being thelovely person he is, says, Oh,
go to boot camp.
When you go to boot camp, you'llget a job.
And I didn't know that was alie, that was like the biggest
lie of all lies.
So I got sent straight to thefleet, and for my non-veteran
people, going to the fleet meansthat I went to a ship, I didn't
have a job, I was essentially acustodian, a janitor, a painter.
(08:07):
And um, that was like a veryscary thing to me because the
ship I was on uh at the time,they didn't integrate females
into ships yet in the the Navy,and it was a bunch of dudes, and
it was a bunch of dudes whotreated the ship like it was
being imprisoned.
So the biggest guy would like Iand this is kind of where I
(08:27):
don't have, which is you know,weird, I was in Operation Iraqi
Freedom, I don't have combatPTSD, I have a physical abuse
PTSD.
You know, there was I was pulledout of my wreck, I was beaten
the crap out of all kinds ofcraziness.
Like, like I said, I attributeto actually being in prison for
the first year of being in themilitary, and nobody during that
(08:50):
time really did anything aboutit.
You know, hazing was taken tothe extreme, and um, there was
no like anti-hazing, or it wasif you say something, we're
gonna throw you overboard, likeactual physical threats to end
your life kind of stuff.
So that's essentially where Iwas in this unique position of
(09:11):
okay, now what?
And essentially that's where Irealized that okay, I'm gonna
have to start.
I'm I'm 21.
Essentially, you know, I am akid, but I'm not a kid anymore.
I'm on my own, I don't have anyfriends, I don't have any
family.
Um, and I remember like goingthrough this hell, and I'm in
Jacksonville, Florida on thepier.
(09:33):
And to date myself, I'm on apayphone of all things that have
payphones on the pier, and Icall my dad, and I'm crying, and
I'm like, I'm like cryinghysterically, and I'm like, Dad,
I can't do this.
I want to come home.
And the greatest thing he couldhave done for me, even though
like it's probably not a veryparental thing, he says, You
can't come home.
(09:53):
Click.
And he just hung up the phone onme.
And and that's like at thatmoment, I was like, okay, that's
the flight or flight.
That's where essentially I hadto dig in.
Um, I started trying to liftweights, trying to figure out
who I was, who I wanted to be,trying to be tougher.
And that was essentially like, Iguess, the origin of where Coach
(10:13):
Rob started and where I startedfrom, and like my first big,
like kind of oh crap moment ofwhat happened to me.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Wow, that's a really powerful story.
It very different from my own,but there are some similarities
in that I think we we both grewup.
I think I like to say that I wasuh middle class, but I think my
parents had upper middle classmoney by the way that we lived.
But my dad was also a World WarII Navy vet and a Korean War,
(10:45):
uh, Korean conflict uh army vet.
And um military service was afamily tradition.
All of my my dad and his twinbrothers served in both the Navy
and Army together, and all mymom's four brothers served in
the army, and so did cousins andso forth.
I was the first woman in myfamily to join the army, and
(11:05):
then all my younger femalecousins followed me into the
army.
And so I actually wanted to be aMarine, but decided I would
stick with the family traditionbecause I didn't want to upset
my dad because I was hisfavorite.
But I kind of grew up hard.
I grew up very hard in that um Iwas the youngest of five
(11:27):
siblings, and having had a dadwho was a war veteran, he raised
us to be really tough because hesaid the world is going to be
difficult.
So I was very prepared for themilitary.
It's interesting to hear yourperspective um, not being
prepared and not knowing.
(11:47):
And as a former army recruiter,I am appalled at what your
recruiter did to you.
And I'm really sorry thathappened.
SPEAKER_00 (11:55):
That's okay.
Like it made me who I am.
So it is what it is at thispoint.
SPEAKER_01 (11:59):
Now, we heard how you um were forged by the
military, but then whathappened?
Because you had some otherhugely significant things happen
in your life that that took youdown a rock bottom where a lot
of people would have given upwhen you made that phone call to
your dad and said, Hey, I needhelp.
(12:20):
Most people would have given upthere.
But you continued on and youwent through other really
grueling um challenges.
Tell us about those.
SPEAKER_00 (12:31):
Yeah, so you know, from there, um, I stayed in the
military till about 2001.
Uh, I had met what would becomemy ex-wife, but uh I met my
wife.
Um, she was also in the Navy.
Uh, I was one of those kids thatjust thought marriage was the
cool thing to do, didn't really,you know, have a relationship.
(12:54):
And the military, that's anotherthing.
Like when the military and itcomes to teaching us stuff and
how to live life.
So I I met my ex-wife and I mether in October.
We were in um school togetherand uh in A school for training
together.
And um I, you know, after you gothrough your training, you have
to go to a duty station.
(13:14):
So I, you know, I had a choice,and the detailer's like, well,
if you can get married by now,mind you, I met her in October,
and she's like, if you getmarried, married by February, I
can co-locate you.
And I knew that I would hadorders back to California where
I was going home, and that if Iwas gonna go home, I was not
gonna be with this woman.
So I rushed to get married,which wasn't the right choice.
(13:36):
Um, met her in October, proposedto her in December, got married
in February.
She got stationed in DC, I gotstationed in Virginia, and then
on my uh off-duty days, I woulddrive three hours to go spend
time with her.
I did that for a while until shetransferred to Virginia where I
was stationed at.
And from that point, like, Idon't know if it was because we
(13:59):
officially didn't live with eachother for a long time.
I was just going up there to seeher and coming back.
As soon as she moved in with me,we had problems.
Like it was just arguing andyelling and fighting that my
first child was born, and nowI'm like, oh shit, I have a
child and a father.
And um, I stayed in thisrelationship for 18 years for
(14:19):
the simple fact that I thoughtas a man, as someone religious,
that it was my duty to stay withmy wife no matter what,
realizing that that wasn't theright answer because when I told
myself through all the hell Iwent through, that every year of
are we gonna get divorced?
Am I looking for a new place tolive?
I would fight to stay with herto say, I don't want to go
(14:40):
through a divorce, but after 18years, I ended up going through
a divorce anyway.
So, prelude to that, I got outof the Navy um early out.
I didn't like the military atthat time from the abuse, you
know, from the things I wentthrough.
I thought the the military was apretty uh shitty experience.
So I got early out uh becauseduring that time, if you were
(15:03):
gonna enroll in college, theywould let you out a year early.
So I broke contract and then uhSeptember 11th hit.
And I remember getting thisletter in the mail, and it said,
you can either go back in themilitary or we'll bring you back
in the military.
Now, knowing that I didn't wantto have the same experience, and
knowing that I knew a little bitbetter about the military, I
(15:25):
went to the recruiter, betterprepared, and he said, Well, due
to September 11th, the Navy hasa brand new military police
force.
Would you be interested inbecoming a police officer?
So I said, sign me up.
I went to one of the firstpolice academies in Virginia
Beach, Virginia, and I wasreally good at being a cop.
That was kind of where I startedto say, Oh, I have a job, I have
(15:46):
a purpose, I want to help thosethat can't help themselves.
That service mindset that CoachRobb has, right?
Well, unfortunately, I hadtrauma from the first time in my
Navy.
I had trauma from all the stuffI did as a police officer uh in
the Navy.
I get out, I go become a federalpolice officer.
I have more trauma.
(16:07):
So I'm stacking trauma on traumaon trauma.
And in um 2018, I was at a uhVeterans Affairs hospital as a
police officer.
I had been there for six years.
When I first got to the VeteransAffairs Hospital, I was I'm on a
mission to help vets.
I'm on a mission to be there.
This is my community, right?
These are my people.
(16:28):
The problem was I wasn't dealingwith the good vets.
I was dealing with the vets thatwere drunk driving.
I was dealing with the veteransthat I had to take to jail every
day, all day, the same time.
The vets that had severe mentalhealth issues that wanted to
fight or bring weapons or try toharm me.
The the worst of the worstpeople of the veteran community.
So that put a very bad taste inmy mouth when it came to the
(16:50):
community and the people that Iwas with.
So in 2018, unfortunately, mymom had passed, and uh my
command wasn't really gonna giveme bereavement leave to go lay
my mom to rest.
And you know, I understand atthe time with the government and
everything, you have to havesick leave and you have to have
vacation leave.
But this is the passing of mymom.
(17:11):
This isn't, you know, thisthere's an exception to the rule
here, whether I have leave ornot.
So I I took leave without pay.
Uh, I went and dealt with that.
I came back to work.
Um, and I just something didn'tfeel right about being a cop
anymore.
Something didn't feel rightabout my community.
My mental health was really bad.
I had severe anger issues.
Uh at the time I wouldn't knowit yet, but the PTSD, the
(17:34):
oppression, the major anxiety,and I just didn't feel like
myself anymore.
I didn't feel like being a copwas had any value as society
proceeded.
We know that more and morepeople looked at cops in a very
bad way.
And I was like, man, maybe it'stime to get out.
So, talking to my current wife,I have a new wife now.
(17:55):
We've been married for uh oneyear, but we've been together
for eight years now.
Light of my life, a huge supportsystem and value to who I am.
Um, I tell her, hey, I want tostart a gym.
She takes out the money for meto start a gym, she helps me
back everything.
I opened a gym, I run a strengthand conditioning gym for four
(18:15):
years, where once again Ithought, oh, I met my purpose, I
know what I gotta do.
And then luckily, COVID happenedand I lost everything again.
I lost my entire gym after fouryears of building a community,
of building memberships, ofbuilding friendships.
And having to let that go wasone of the biggest struggles,
fears, things in my life thatreally, really like put more
(18:39):
trauma, more depression, moreanger on Coach Rob.
Uh, so essentially, afterclosing the gym, the wife's
looking at me like, hey, we kindof need to make money, we have
bills to pay.
And uh, she says, Why don't yougo be a cop again?
Well, that wasn't the rightanswer.
So I go, uh I become certifiedin the state of Florida.
(19:00):
Now I'm on the streets as a realcop.
Second day on the job, a youngman took his life.
Uh, I had to process the scene,I had to take the gun out of his
hand, and that just like stackedmore trauma.
I couldn't get his face out ofmy head.
I'm thinking of, you know, I'm47 years old running around
these streets dealing with theworst of the worst people.
Why am I doing this?
(19:21):
And after four months of being acop in the streets, uh, I came
home one day, broke down, prettymuch fell on the floor, and you
know, wife's concerned, she'slike, What's going on?
I'm like, Look, I know you needmy support.
I'm your husband, I'm a man,these are the things I'm
supposed to do, but I can't dothis.
Like, I just I can't.
Like, the my mental health isnot good.
(19:42):
I'm going down this downwardspiral.
Everything is suck, you know,sucks.
Everything is horrible.
I'm angry all the time, I'mmiserable.
And um, so she luckily havingthat support system once again.
You know, she's a teacher, shedoesn't make that good of money.
And uh, she says, okay, youknow, go ahead and quit.
(20:03):
Uh, that next day I went inthere after that four months.
I told my sergeant, I'm like,look, Sarge, I appreciate that
opportunity, but I can't do thisanymore.
Turned in my gun, turned in mybadge, hung everything up, and
then once again was faced withthe depression.
The, you know, I'm a man, I'mnot supposed to feel this way,
I'm supposed to succeed, I'msupposed to be strong, I'm
supposed to be tough.
What do I do now?
(20:24):
And the one thing that keptcoming back to me on a daily
basis is whenever I would see myuh clients out in town from my
gym, they'd always tell me, andeven to this day, people that I
talk to, people that I try toinspire, no one's coached us the
way you did.
No one led us the way you did,no one talked to us the way you
did, no one held us accountablethe way you did.
(20:45):
And I was like, Well, I canstill be a coach, I don't have
to have a building, and now Ican coach everywhere all over
the world, and essentiallythat's like where I'm at now
with who Coach Rob is podcasthost, podcast guest, trying to
be a keynote speaker, trying tospread that message of turning
(21:06):
pain into progress.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
And that was the birth to battle fitted.
So tell us about battle fitted.
SPEAKER_00 (21:12):
So, battle fitted is my crazy idea of when when I do
something, I don't go small, Iplay very big.
Um, so battle fitted encompassesa few things.
It's first of all, it's thecoaching, which is built on
three pillars fitness, mindset,and discipline.
Fitness first to take care ofour body, our overall health and
(21:33):
emotional well-being.
Usually, when people can lock insome sort of dedication to a
fitness, health, and nutritionplan, they can start making
those changes in their life.
I truly believe, as someone whowas almost 300 pounds when I got
out of the Navy and had to loseweight and figure out what works
and didn't work, owning a gym.
Um, fitness is number one for mylife and anybody that I coach
(21:56):
and come in contact with.
Mindset, giving them the tools,uh, tips, and tricks to be able
to continue on, whether that'spracticing gratitude, which is
huge in my life.
Uh, journaling, practicing breadbreath work, good sleep hygiene,
those things that we mightoverlook day-to-day basis, uh,
which helps us grow emotionalintelligence.
My emotional intelligence was sobad.
(22:19):
And now that every, you know, Istill have times where I flip
out.
Everybody flips out now andthen.
It's just, it's the nature ofthe beast.
But being able to control myanger, my sadness, my happiness,
like just to uh regulate thoseemotions and take that step back
and say, I'm okay, I'm not gonnafreak out, everything's good,
has been such a game changer inmy life.
(22:42):
And then the discipline becauseI don't want my clients to work
with me forever.
I want them to be able to healon their own and be able to
continue their journey to livethe best version of themselves.
And then finally, next is theBattle Fitted Clothing Line, uh,
which matches the message ofturning pain into progress and
the Battle Harder podcast, whereI tell real stories of people
(23:04):
who have faced adversity anddealt with struggles in their
life.
And just like we're talking now,now they're doing big things and
building back better.
SPEAKER_01 (23:12):
Before we cover the next topic in this episode, I
want to introduce you to theadventure sports lifestyle with
what I like to call a microstory about an adventure that
I've had.
The adventure sports lifestyleand my deep connection to nature
is essential to my good health.
So here's the story.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for a while, you know
that a Winnebago is on myadventure sports wish list, and
(23:35):
I'm not alone.
76% of RV owners are youngerthan age 50.
I've rented RVs in the past, andwhat I love is that our dog can
hang out in the comfort of acozy RV while I'm out
adventuring with friends orfamily.
And when I'm done, I have thecomforts of home for showers,
meals, and sleeping.
(23:56):
Then I can pack up and drive toour next adventure.
I did that.
I hope this inspires you to getoutside an adventure in an RV
alone with friends or with thepeople you love most.
Now back to the show where we'retalking with Coach Rob Wheeler.
Well, I know that you help men30 and older, but I have to tell
you, and maybe it's because Icome from a military background,
(24:21):
or perhaps it's because I feelthat messages for men resonate
more than messages that womenreceive.
You know, we're often taughtyou're a victim and you have to
reclaim your power and be aboss, you know, be.
And that's just not me.
I don't want to bother, I don'twant anyone to boss me around,
(24:43):
and I don't want to be anyoneelse's boss.
And even when I was in uh acorporate leadership role,
people would refer to me astheir boss, and I would tell
them that that I don't want tobe your boss.
I'm not your boss, I'm yourmanager because I'm not bossing
you around.
You know, you have autonomy, butyour message really resonates
(25:05):
with me as a woman, and I hopeother female listeners are um
taking this all in because thereis an important factor when it
comes to what you believe, yourmindset creates your life.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat in terms of mindset?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Definitely.
So, you know, I I like to saymindset over everything, right?
Um from someone who had thosedeep dark thoughts, from someone
who had a gun in his hand acouple times and wondering if
this was it, uh, feeling broken,feeling like something's wrong
with me, not understanding thisinternal battle that we have as
(25:45):
humans.
And, you know, just like most,just like anybody, but and the
reason why I specialize withmen, and and my message is for
everybody, but why I specializewith men is it took me a long
time to be vulnerable.
It took me a long time torealize that it's okay to not be
okay.
It took a long time for me torealize that healing comes from
that place of going in thatdarkest moment.
(26:08):
And I kind of attribute it tolike the cartoons or the movies
where the knight's about to facethe dragon and he's you know in
his armor and he's ready to go,and he goes in that deep dark
cave and he can't see anything,and all of a sudden there's this
big, scary, angry monster,right?
And you can run, you can giveup, or you can fight.
And you have to get to a pointin your life that no matter what
(26:32):
you want, like I'm very timeconscious, I'm very, I know we
have one life, you know.
I know there's no, I wish therewas lots of do-overs, you know,
but there's no do-overs.
So why are you not going to liveit to be the best version of
yourself?
Why are you not going to giveeverything you can to have what
you want, to do what you want,to be what you want, to love who
you want?
(26:52):
And once you realize that, like,that you can do things and not
let mental health, uh, not letcertain like I had a guy on my
show, he had cancer and he ran adamn Iron Man.
So the the power of mindsetright there just shows you that
if you can figure out a way todig deep with inside your inner
self and flip that switch onsaying, I gotta do this, like
(27:16):
you can accomplish just abouteverything.
And I I want to preface thiswith this, and I tell everybody
this my trauma did not go away.
Okay, I'm not healed, I'm notsome magic guru that depression,
no, like I still have severeinsomnia that I'm trying to
figure out how to sleep better,I still have some dark days, I
still have bad days, but frompracticing gratitude, from
(27:40):
journaling, from havingsomething to focus on, and you
don't have to be a businessowner like me, but if you try to
focus on going to do jujitsu orbeing in some sort of fitness
routine, strength andconditioning, or if you know if
you like uh Zumba or Pilates,whatever, whatever you like and
you enjoy, and if you can focuson being good at that, then
(28:01):
that's gonna help you be betterat other things in your life.
So you don't have to own abusiness to be better, but you
have to find something that youenjoy that you can you have to
have goals and challengeyourself.
Like that's the only way.
That's the only way.
SPEAKER_01 (28:14):
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(29:42):
Rob, everywhere you go, whetherit's in person, on social media,
everyone's talking about beingstuck.
What can you tell us aboutovercoming procrastination?
SPEAKER_00 (29:52):
So, the the crazy thing is the simplest things
typically work, right?
There's a lot of days that CoachRob does.
Not want to go to the gym orwork out.
There's a lot of days where I'min my inner head and I'm like,
I'm not going to work out today.
And then I'm inside my headsaying, Yes, you are going work
out today.
And you just have to be able toforce yourself to just take that
(30:13):
extra step.
Like, it's kind of like ifyou're playing chess, like you
have to make that extra move tomake sure that you're going to
win.
So, how do we do that?
Okay, well, if I know I have ahard time getting up and I use
my phone as an alarm clock, putmy phone in another room, put my
phone in the bathroom where Ihave to get out of bed to turn
it off.
You have to take those smallsteps, which really isn't major
(30:35):
to propel you forward.
You know, if you don't go to thegym because, oh, I can't get my
gym bag ready.
Make your gym bag ready beforeyou go to bed.
Like take the steps.
Just like we have bad habits, wehave to have healthy habits and
we have to use the healthyhabits to help us get unstuck,
so to speak.
And it's not even that.
You know, a lot of times I'mnoticing uh as men is when we
(30:58):
get stuck in life, right?
You get married, like I havethree kids, you know, uh, I'm a
full-time student, I'm running abusiness.
You're in that rat race, youknow, whether you're a business
owner or not, a podcast host,and sometimes you just get stuck
in that insanity loop of doingthe same thing over and over and
over again.
And before you know it, a year'spast, five years past, and
(31:19):
you're like, what has happenedto me?
So when I deal with people thatare that are stuck, it's first
changing those healthy habits.
And once again, that's why I sayfitness is important because
most of the people are stuck,they're not doing some sort of
exercise, they're not takingcare of just getting outside for
a walk, is so important.
Like little things.
So I help people change thelittle things to be able to do
(31:41):
the big things.
SPEAKER_01 (31:43):
So we touched on your first book on uh
procrastination.
Your next book it talks withmental resilience.
What are the five steps tomental resilience?
Just um, you know, briefly listthem out for us because we can
go by the book.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
I think we'll need to go by the book.
I wrote that so long ago.
Um, but it's just it everythinghas to start with the belief
within, right?
Even if you don't believe inyourself, you have to force
yourself to say, hey, I can dothis.
And having mental toughness,it's not about I think people
(32:18):
get this wrong idea that thinkyou have to be like this big,
strong, you know, like guy,monster, woman, person that like
nothing can hurt me.
No, you just you have to be ableto take action in order to get
rid of, I guess, the negativenegativity, or so one thing that
worked for me when I was in avery, very dark place, uh, after
(32:40):
I learned that gratitude, sopracticing gratitude was huge,
right?
Uh, when I went to bed, I wouldthink of three things that I was
thankful for each and everynight.
So, you know, and it could bethe fruit three three three, I
can't talk today, the samethings over and over again.
So it could be every day.
I'm thankful for my wife, mydog, and my house.
As long as I'm just thankful forsomething.
(33:01):
But what really helped with mymental resilience was just
getting up and especially thoseinitial very dark days and
saying it's gonna be a good day.
And saying that over and overand over and over, and from what
I've done and learned from otherpodcast guests, from actual
coaches, like that's justreframing.
It's called reframing.
(33:22):
It's when you take somethingnegative and you turn it around
to be a positive.
So instead of saying, I can't, Ican, I won't, I will, those
things right there, thosepositive affirmations that
reframing how you speak toyourself, because that's very,
very important, that's gonnabuild that mental resilience
over time.
You we know through statistics,we know through like if you say
(33:45):
you're gonna have a bad day,you're gonna have a bad day.
And if you say you're gonna havea good day, you may not have a
good day, but you're probablynot gonna have a bad day, or
you're gonna have an okay day.
And I used to say all the time,like, life sucks.
I hate life, everything's black,everything's dark, and guess
what?
Everything bad happened to me.
It was only when I wasaccountable for my own actions
(34:06):
and I said, I'm okay.
I have this nice house I livein, I have a woman who loves me,
I have kids who you know I havea good relationship with, I'm
healthy, I get to wake up everymorning and go work out, I get
to go to school, I get to dothis.
You have to start reframing andsay, I get to instead of I have
to.
And I think that's huge for themental resilience.
SPEAKER_01 (34:28):
I want to go back to something because I didn't
mention it, but I want to saythat I'm really happy that you
are that you have a programthat's although it resonates
with anyone, but that it'sspecifically to help men,
because over the past 15 years,and and I did an entire podcast,
one of my earliest episodes wason the toxic nature, on the
(34:52):
toxic masculinity label, and howthat label has hurt men and
boys.
And even in um my guy and Ifounded the American Adventure
Sports Club.
It's a nonprofit organizationthat helps low-income families
access nature, adventure sports,archery, camping, hiking, rock
(35:14):
climbing, kayaking, all thethings at no cost.
And even our boys, their age sixto 16 who come to camp, they
have expressed in their ownwords, not it wasn't like a
guided um discussion, but a lotof times when a kid is sitting
with a counselor or with a smallgroup and their counselor or
(35:37):
around the campfire, a lot ofthe boys will say, I don't feel
like I have a place.
I don't feel like I belonganywhere.
And and they also talk aboutfeeling pressured by teachers to
act differently, to not bemasculine, to be more feminine,
to um not defend themselves whenthey're being beat up or not to
(36:00):
ask for help when they need it,believe it or not, because the
teacher doesn't want to help theboy the way that I understand
what the kids are telling me.
The teacher doesn't want to helpthe boy if he is a has a
masculine character, if he has amore feminine, a more beta male
character, then the teachers areall in.
(36:21):
Even a male, a male teacher,they're all in to help that
child.
And so I see a lot of hurtingmen and boys because they've
been labeled um as toxic justfor being masculine.
Not that they've done anythingwrong, just that all that innate
(36:44):
character type, the characterthat they were born with, is
there's something uh wrong withit.
And we really need to changethat because it's causing a lot
of mental health challenges inboth men and boys.
So I thank you for the work thatyou're doing.
I think it's very important, notonly for our communities, but
it's very important for ourcountry.
SPEAKER_00 (37:03):
Thank you.
I just feel like I feel likesometimes I have a very old
school or old way of thinkingwith how I live and grow up.
And I want to tell yourcommunity, Coach Rob cries.
I I have moments where I'vebroken down.
I have moments like mydaughter's gonna be getting
married soon, and my uh myson-in-law came and asked me for
(37:25):
permission, and that was a verylike emotional moment, like
seeing him propose to her um howI feel about me as a person and
all the big things I want to do.
I have big emotions, and as aman, I I cry and I feel and I
hurt, but I also understand thatI have to protect my wife, I
have to provide for her, I haveto preside over her.
(37:47):
I should be hard to kill, so tospeak, meaning that I should
have some sort of discipline,whether it's how to use a weapon
or how to survive in thewilderness or like that.
So when I when I think ofmasculinity, I think of a total
package of a man who knows whenhe can be vulnerable, knows that
he can tell his kids that heloves them, but at the same
(38:07):
time, if he has to freakingprotect his family, he can do
that.
And that's another reason, onceagain, why fitness is so
important.
If someone's coming after yourfamily and and you're out of
shape and you can't even goupstairs, how are you gonna
protect the people you'resupposed to be protecting?
SPEAKER_01 (38:23):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And you know, I have a quickstory about that.
Um when I talk with boys and Itell them that it's okay to
protect yourself, they seemreally shocked.
So I think the that that someadult is saying, if someone hits
(38:44):
you, it's okay to defendyourself, it's okay to protect
yourself.
It it's you don't need to crawlinto a ball, into the fetal
position and allow someone toharm you because they are not
getting those messages withsomeone else.
But it's a human instinct toprotect your life and to protect
(39:04):
yourself from getting hurt.
And um, but I also appreciatethat you're saying you don't
have to be hard all the time.
Every human being, no matteryour gender, should have a full
range of human uh emotionexpression.
Exactly.
I congratulate you for that.
Rob, I've never experiencedimposter syndrome.
I don't know what that saysabout me, but what is imposter
(39:27):
syndrome and how do we overcomeit?
SPEAKER_00 (39:29):
So, I mean, that's something I actually deal with
still to this day.
Even as I was in the gym and youknow, I'm lifting weights and I
have my goal I'm trying to focuson.
A lot of times my brain wandersand I'm like, can Coach Rob do
this?
Can I build this brand that I'mtrying to build?
Can I reach these people thatI'm trying to build?
So, imposter syndrome is justbasically not believing in
(39:51):
yourself.
It's, you know, maybe you dowant to be a police officer and
or go in the military and yousay, I can't.
And maybe that I can't isbecause your parents or friends
or family are putting some kindof barrier on you, which in turn
puts that mental block on you.
It's just a mental block.
Look, I never thought in amillion years that I've done
half the things that I've done.
(40:12):
Um, I've done acting, I've beenon TV, I mean, I have my
business.
Like it's being able to you youhave to be able to once again,
everything's that mindset andthat belief in self, that
positive affirmations that Ican, not I can't.
I learned, you know, a littlelate, late, and I wish I learned
this sooner.
(40:33):
Who cares if people put youdown?
Who cares if people say no?
Who cares if people tell you youcan't?
Because until you go for it, youyou never know.
And even with some of the guestson my podcast, um, people are
like, Well, how are you gettingbig guests?
I just message them and ask.
I'm like, hey, can you be on mypodcast?
This is what it's about.
And if they say no, okay, on tothe next one.
(40:56):
It's not it's not about my egoor how I feel.
So, imposter syndrome isessentially not believing in
yourself and thinking you can'tdo something.
And how we get out of that, Imean, the number one is jump
head first.
You have to jump headfirst intolife.
Uh, you have to be able to dothose scary things that you
(41:16):
don't want to do because at theend of the day, we realize that
most of the time it's really notthat scary.
SPEAKER_01 (41:22):
Absolutely.
In addition to battle-fittedcoaching, you mentioned the
battle harder podcast.
What can listeners expect whenthey tune in?
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Just real, I like the idea of being a storyteller.
You know, I I always think backto before all this amazing
technology, before eventelephones, television, people
told stories.
And having the ability to talkto people literally around the
world from different walks oflife, and they all at the end of
(41:54):
the day, I'm learning thatalmost all of us have some form
of trauma.
It's very few that people don'tgo through some form of trauma,
but we all deal with itdifferently.
So you can either deal with itby, like I said, giving up or
becoming a drug addict or analcoholic or going to jail, or
you can fight through it, andout of that darkness comes some
(42:15):
of the most beautiful things.
So the people on my show is justthey're real raw stories about
how they overcame theiradversity, their struggle, their
trauma, and what they're doingnow.
It shows that mindset is veryimportant.
How we think about ourselves,how we talk about ourselves, how
we feel about ourselves is veryimportant.
(42:36):
And even some of the supportfrom husbands and wives and
friends and family that help usget out of the dark times is
equally important.
So they're just gonna findsomething from I've had a person
who struggled with emotionaleating, and now she coaches
people on emotional eating.
I had a woman that uh wasphysically uh sexually abused,
left with nothing, and now shecoaches, she became a personal
(42:58):
development coach.
Um, so I'm building this, Iguess, resource, so to speak,
because if a young man, youngwoman, they resonate with one of
my episodes, they can reach outto that person, and most likely
that person is going to talk tothem and help them overcome
their problem.
It's not about Coach Rob on theBattleheart podcast, it's about
(43:18):
everybody else and just showingthat there is a way through.
SPEAKER_01 (43:22):
Rob, I want to tell you that you are a beautiful
soul.
I mean that, brother.
I'm very um excited to allowother men to hear your message.
I'm sorry, I'm getting a littleemotional.
SPEAKER_00 (43:39):
You gotta save the waterworks for when you're on my
episode.
SPEAKER_01 (43:43):
I'm just really excited to save men's lives.
I think we have done adisservice to not only just the
men in this country, because wehave international listeners,
but the men around the roleworld, especially in Western
countries.
And um it's time that we buildthem up and that it takes all of
us, it not just your familymembers, but your neighbors,
(44:07):
people in your community.
If you appreciate the men inyour life and the men in your
community and what they bring tosociety, then work towards
building them up because a lotof what they come into contact
with in the media, social mediaand entertainment is tearing
them down.
So just hearing your message isreally just touching me in the
(44:29):
heart.
And I appreciate that.
What else can do you want totell listeners before you go?
SPEAKER_00 (44:34):
I I think just, you know, once again, while I
specialize with Men 30 Plus,whether you're a man, woman,
just be a better human.
Like at the end of the day, youknow, if you see someone that
needs help, give them help.
If you see someone that you needto hold the door, like we got to
get back, and that's why I sayI'm an old thinker.
We gotta get back to justplease, thank you, excuse me,
(44:56):
holding doors open, askingpeople if they need help, like
just looking out for each other.
It's not just about me helpingmen, it's about just looking out
for each other because at theend of the day, we never know
what that person's goingthrough.
And taking that time to just dothat simple little thing, it
could make the differencebetween whether this person
decides to stay on that earth ornot.
So just be a better human.
SPEAKER_01 (45:18):
Amen.
Battlefitted has a greatselection of apparel, fitness
apparel that I'm definitelygonna get a couple of shirts for
myself and uh maybe a friend ortwo.
And I hope that you'll check itout, friends.
Until next time, here at the NewNormal Big Life Podcast.
I'm your host, Antoinette Lee.
(45:38):
I hope to see you on the riverin the backcountry or in the
horse barn living your bestlife.
Until next time, friends, I'mAntoinette Lee, the Wellness
Warrior here at the New NormalBig Live Podcast.
I hope one day to see you on theriver in the backcountry or in
the horse barn living your bestlife.
Struggling with health problemsor seeking natural health
solutions, don't miss our latestpodcast episode, exclusive blog
(46:01):
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tips.
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New normal big life.
Imagine hitting rock bottom,post-traumatic stress, grouping
your nights, obesity, weighingdying your days, a divorce
shattering your world.
That's where Coach Rog Wheelerfound himself after a decade in
the military and years as afederal police officer.
But he didn't stay there.
Through raw discipline and amindset forged in fire, he built
(00:25):
battle-fitted, coaching men withlessons for us all to transform
suffering into strength.
In this episode of the NewNormal Big Life podcast, Coach
Robb reveals how a battle-fittedmindset isn't about avoiding
pain, it's about wielding it asa weapon for growth.
If trauma, failure, orstagnation holds you back, Coach
(00:47):
Rob's story proves one shift canrewrite your life.
Let's learn how.
Hi friends, welcome to the NewNormal Big Life Podcast.
We bring you natural news andstories about nature that we
hope will inspire you to getoutside and adventure, along
with a step-by-step plan to helpyou practice what you've learned
and create your own new normaland live the biggest life you
(01:08):
can dream.
I'm your host, Antoinette Lee,the Wellness Warrior.
Before we dive into today'stransformational topic with
Coach Rob Wheeler, I want togive a shout out to a new
listener.
Irena, thank you so much foryour kind five-star review in
Apple Podcasts.
I'm so glad you're part of ourcommunity.
(01:29):
So let's talk about forgingresilience.
We'll learn how a battlefieldmindset transforms lives.
What if the real enemy isn't thepain you've endured, but the
story you tell yourself aboutit?
In a world that often glorifiesquick fixes, Coach Rob Realer's
journey stands out.
(01:49):
Coach Rob Realer is a U.S.
military veteran, resiliencecoach, and the unapologetic
voice behind the Battle Harderpodcast, a show that cuts
through the noise and gets realabout overcoming adversity,
rebuilding identity, andreclaiming purpose.
As the founder of the BattlefitIt movement, Coach Robb helps
(02:10):
men over 30 who've been brokenby life, divorce, trauma, job
loss, addiction, rebuild theirdiscipline, fitness, and mindset
from the ground up.
After battling through his ownrock bottom, Coach Rob turned
his pain into a blueprint forprogress, now coaching others
through his signature eight-weekforge program and mindset
(02:32):
journal.
Whether it's in the gym, on themic, or in a one-on-one coaching
call, Coach Rob's mission issimple: help men armor up, stop
hiding from the fight, and leadfrom the front again.
His content blends military gritwith vulnerable truth.
No fluff, no sugarcoating, justreal talk from real
(02:53):
transformation.
With every episode, product, andprogram, Coach Rob is building
more than a brand.
He's building a brotherhood.
His message resonates far gone,resonant veterans.
It's a blueprint for anyoneready to fight back against a
mindset that's holding themhostage.
(03:13):
So here's the tragedy of a toxicmindset.
A toxic mindset doesn't justwhisper doubts, it architects
downfall.
This fixed outlook fueled acycle of self-sabotage.
It skipped workouts, warped intoweight gain, unresolved trauma,
(03:35):
bred isolation, and fear offailure stalled every new
venture.
Research echoes this harshreality.
Psychologist Carol Dweck,pioneer of the growth mindset
theory, explained that thosestuck in a fixed mindset view
abilities as innate, inborn, ornatural and unchangeable,
leading to avoidance ofchallenges and a lifetime of
(03:58):
regret.
Let's learn how to break freefrom this toxic way of thinking
with Coach Rob Wheeler.
Rob, welcome to New Normal BigLife, brother.
Thank you.
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm excited for thisconversation.
This is actually a milestoneevent for me because you're the
first veteran that I've newnormal big life.
(04:19):
Yes, I have several lined up,but we planned the interviews
months ago, but our calendarjust couldn't line up to get
them on until after yourinterview.
So you're my first veteran.
I'm very excited to start um myveteran series with you.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
So let's make this the show to end all shows then.
All right, brother.
That sounds good.
SPEAKER_01 (04:43):
So tell me what pivotal moment or crucible in
your life that you were facedwith a significant challenge
that you overcame and grew andshaped into you this
transformational coach that youare today.
And how do you use thatexperience to help others turn
their pain into purpose andprogress?
SPEAKER_00 (05:03):
I mean, I don't know if we have enough time for that,
but um my my whole life has beenpivotal, so to speak.
I mean, um, I don't think peopleare made to suffer, but I've
just been one of those guys thathave had to face so much, like
so much unbelievable adversityin my life.
And I had to choose whether Iwas gonna let that break me and
(05:25):
and end my life, so to speak,um, or if I was going to come
back from that and, you know,thank God that I decided to
fight through it and continue tofight through it.
Um, and try to use that now as asuperpower, so to speak, so I
can hopefully help uh otherpeople do the same thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:45):
Well, tell us some of the most significant events
because I think the audience canreally relate to um our personal
stories and how we got to wherewe are now.
SPEAKER_00 (05:59):
Yeah, definitely.
I'll see if I can um condense ituh a little bit.
So uh I went into the Navy um in1997.
Um, when I went into the Navy, Iwas uh 21.
I really didn't have anything inmy mind or heart and soul as far
as purpose or what I wanted todo with my life.
Uh it was kind of a forced thingfrom my parents.
(06:20):
Um they got tired of me livingat home and kind of mooching off
of them.
And the funny thing is that Itell on a lot of podcasts is my
father owned his own business.
He would get up at 5 a.m.
to go to work.
Right before he left, he wouldliterally kick open, like I
think my door was broken aftersix months, but he literally
like kick open my door and hewould say, he would just say one
thing, join the navy, and hewould walk out.
(06:42):
So my idea was, okay, f you dad,I'm gonna join the Navy.
Well, you know, obviously thatdidn't work.
He got exactly what he wanted.
I got, you know, out of thehouse, and uh it was a big
culture shock for me to haveeverything essentially given to
me.
I I mean, I grew up and I wouldsay what I thought at the time
was upper middle class.
Um, so I didn't have to ask foranything.
(07:03):
Um, I wasn't expected to reallydo much other than normal things
like clean my room or you know,wash a dish after I used it kind
of thing.
Normal stuff, nothing crazy.
So a real culture shock when Ijoined the Navy, and uh when I
went to the recruiter inCalifornia, uh they I didn't
have anybody, like I didn't haveanybody in my area that went
(07:25):
into the military, I didn't haveany guidance, I didn't have any
structure.
So the first thing, anybodylistening to this, if you decide
to join the military branch,which I think is an amazing,
beautiful thing, have someonethat you know and trust that
knows the system go with youbecause even today that can
really jack you up in terms ofwhat kind of job you do, what
kind of service you go into.
(07:46):
So my recruiter, being thelovely person he is, says, Oh,
go to boot camp.
When you go to boot camp, you'llget a job.
And I didn't know that was alie, that was like the biggest
lie of all lies.
So I got sent straight to thefleet, and for my non-veteran
people, going to the fleet meansthat I went to a ship, I didn't
have a job, I was essentially acustodian, a janitor, a painter.
(08:07):
And um, that was like a veryscary thing to me because the
ship I was on uh at the time,they didn't integrate females
into ships yet in the the Navy,and it was a bunch of dudes, and
it was a bunch of dudes whotreated the ship like it was
being imprisoned.
So the biggest guy would like Iand this is kind of where I
(08:27):
don't have, which is you know,weird, I was in Operation Iraqi
Freedom, I don't have combatPTSD, I have a physical abuse
PTSD.
You know, there was I was pulledout of my wreck, I was beaten
the crap out of all kinds ofcraziness.
Like, like I said, I attributeto actually being in prison for
the first year of being in themilitary, and nobody during that
(08:50):
time really did anything aboutit.
You know, hazing was taken tothe extreme, and um, there was
no like anti-hazing, or it wasif you say something, we're
gonna throw you overboard, likeactual physical threats to end
your life kind of stuff.
So that's essentially where Iwas in this unique position of
(09:11):
okay, now what?
And essentially that's where Irealized that okay, I'm gonna
have to start.
I'm I'm 21.
Essentially, you know, I am akid, but I'm not a kid anymore.
I'm on my own, I don't have anyfriends, I don't have any
family.
Um, and I remember like goingthrough this hell, and I'm in
Jacksonville, Florida on thepier.
(09:33):
And to date myself, I'm on apayphone of all things that have
payphones on the pier, and Icall my dad, and I'm crying, and
I'm like, I'm like cryinghysterically, and I'm like, Dad,
I can't do this.
I want to come home.
And the greatest thing he couldhave done for me, even though
like it's probably not a veryparental thing, he says, You
can't come home.
(09:53):
Click.
And he just hung up the phone onme.
And and that's like at thatmoment, I was like, okay, that's
the flight or flight.
That's where essentially I hadto dig in.
Um, I started trying to liftweights, trying to figure out
who I was, who I wanted to be,trying to be tougher.
And that was essentially like, Iguess, the origin of where Coach
(10:13):
Rob started and where I startedfrom, and like my first big,
like kind of oh crap moment ofwhat happened to me.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Wow, that's a really powerful story.
It very different from my own,but there are some similarities
in that I think we we both grewup.
I think I like to say that I wasuh middle class, but I think my
parents had upper middle classmoney by the way that we lived.
But my dad was also a World WarII Navy vet and a Korean War,
(10:45):
uh, Korean conflict uh army vet.
And um military service was afamily tradition.
All of my my dad and his twinbrothers served in both the Navy
and Army together, and all mymom's four brothers served in
the army, and so did cousins andso forth.
I was the first woman in myfamily to join the army, and
(11:05):
then all my younger femalecousins followed me into the
army.
And so I actually wanted to be aMarine, but decided I would
stick with the family traditionbecause I didn't want to upset
my dad because I was hisfavorite.
But I kind of grew up hard.
I grew up very hard in that um Iwas the youngest of five
(11:27):
siblings, and having had a dadwho was a war veteran, he raised
us to be really tough because hesaid the world is going to be
difficult.
So I was very prepared for themilitary.
It's interesting to hear yourperspective um, not being
prepared and not knowing.
(11:47):
And as a former army recruiter,I am appalled at what your
recruiter did to you.
And I'm really sorry thathappened.
SPEAKER_00 (11:55):
That's okay.
Like it made me who I am.
So it is what it is at thispoint.
SPEAKER_01 (11:59):
Now, we heard how you um were forged by the
military, but then whathappened?
Because you had some otherhugely significant things happen
in your life that that took youdown a rock bottom where a lot
of people would have given upwhen you made that phone call to
your dad and said, Hey, I needhelp.
(12:20):
Most people would have given upthere.
But you continued on and youwent through other really
grueling um challenges.
Tell us about those.
SPEAKER_00 (12:31):
Yeah, so you know, from there, um, I stayed in the
military till about 2001.
Uh, I had met what would becomemy ex-wife, but uh I met my
wife.
Um, she was also in the Navy.
Uh, I was one of those kids thatjust thought marriage was the
cool thing to do, didn't really,you know, have a relationship.
(12:54):
And the military, that's anotherthing.
Like when the military and itcomes to teaching us stuff and
how to live life.
So I I met my ex-wife and I mether in October.
We were in um school togetherand uh in A school for training
together.
And um I, you know, after you gothrough your training, you have
to go to a duty station.
(13:14):
So I, you know, I had a choice,and the detailer's like, well,
if you can get married by now,mind you, I met her in October,
and she's like, if you getmarried, married by February, I
can co-locate you.
And I knew that I would hadorders back to California where
I was going home, and that if Iwas gonna go home, I was not
gonna be with this woman.
So I rushed to get married,which wasn't the right choice.
(13:36):
Um, met her in October, proposedto her in December, got married
in February.
She got stationed in DC, I gotstationed in Virginia, and then
on my uh off-duty days, I woulddrive three hours to go spend
time with her.
I did that for a while until shetransferred to Virginia where I
was stationed at.
And from that point, like, Idon't know if it was because we
(13:59):
officially didn't live with eachother for a long time.
I was just going up there to seeher and coming back.
As soon as she moved in with me,we had problems.
Like it was just arguing andyelling and fighting that my
first child was born, and nowI'm like, oh shit, I have a
child and a father.
And um, I stayed in thisrelationship for 18 years for
(14:19):
the simple fact that I thoughtas a man, as someone religious,
that it was my duty to stay withmy wife no matter what,
realizing that that wasn't theright answer because when I told
myself through all the hell Iwent through, that every year of
are we gonna get divorced?
Am I looking for a new place tolive?
I would fight to stay with herto say, I don't want to go
(14:40):
through a divorce, but after 18years, I ended up going through
a divorce anyway.
So, prelude to that, I got outof the Navy um early out.
I didn't like the military atthat time from the abuse, you
know, from the things I wentthrough.
I thought the the military was apretty uh shitty experience.
So I got early out uh becauseduring that time, if you were
(15:03):
gonna enroll in college, theywould let you out a year early.
So I broke contract and then uhSeptember 11th hit.
And I remember getting thisletter in the mail, and it said,
you can either go back in themilitary or we'll bring you back
in the military.
Now, knowing that I didn't wantto have the same experience, and
knowing that I knew a little bitbetter about the military, I
(15:25):
went to the recruiter, betterprepared, and he said, Well, due
to September 11th, the Navy hasa brand new military police
force.
Would you be interested inbecoming a police officer?
So I said, sign me up.
I went to one of the firstpolice academies in Virginia
Beach, Virginia, and I wasreally good at being a cop.
That was kind of where I startedto say, Oh, I have a job, I have
(15:46):
a purpose, I want to help thosethat can't help themselves.
That service mindset that CoachRobb has, right?
Well, unfortunately, I hadtrauma from the first time in my
Navy.
I had trauma from all the stuffI did as a police officer uh in
the Navy.
I get out, I go become a federalpolice officer.
I have more trauma.
(16:07):
So I'm stacking trauma on traumaon trauma.
And in um 2018, I was at a uhVeterans Affairs hospital as a
police officer.
I had been there for six years.
When I first got to the VeteransAffairs Hospital, I was I'm on a
mission to help vets.
I'm on a mission to be there.
This is my community, right?
These are my people.
(16:28):
The problem was I wasn't dealingwith the good vets.
I was dealing with the vets thatwere drunk driving.
I was dealing with the veteransthat I had to take to jail every
day, all day, the same time.
The vets that had severe mentalhealth issues that wanted to
fight or bring weapons or try toharm me.
The the worst of the worstpeople of the veteran community.
So that put a very bad taste inmy mouth when it came to the
(16:50):
community and the people that Iwas with.
So in 2018, unfortunately, mymom had passed, and uh my
command wasn't really gonna giveme bereavement leave to go lay
my mom to rest.
And you know, I understand atthe time with the government and
everything, you have to havesick leave and you have to have
vacation leave.
But this is the passing of mymom.
(17:11):
This isn't, you know, thisthere's an exception to the rule
here, whether I have leave ornot.
So I I took leave without pay.
Uh, I went and dealt with that.
I came back to work.
Um, and I just something didn'tfeel right about being a cop
anymore.
Something didn't feel rightabout my community.
My mental health was really bad.
I had severe anger issues.
Uh at the time I wouldn't knowit yet, but the PTSD, the
(17:34):
oppression, the major anxiety,and I just didn't feel like
myself anymore.
I didn't feel like being a copwas had any value as society
proceeded.
We know that more and morepeople looked at cops in a very
bad way.
And I was like, man, maybe it'stime to get out.
So, talking to my current wife,I have a new wife now.
(17:55):
We've been married for uh oneyear, but we've been together
for eight years now.
Light of my life, a huge supportsystem and value to who I am.
Um, I tell her, hey, I want tostart a gym.
She takes out the money for meto start a gym, she helps me
back everything.
I opened a gym, I run a strengthand conditioning gym for four
(18:15):
years, where once again Ithought, oh, I met my purpose, I
know what I gotta do.
And then luckily, COVID happenedand I lost everything again.
I lost my entire gym after fouryears of building a community,
of building memberships, ofbuilding friendships.
And having to let that go wasone of the biggest struggles,
fears, things in my life thatreally, really like put more
(18:39):
trauma, more depression, moreanger on Coach Rob.
Uh, so essentially, afterclosing the gym, the wife's
looking at me like, hey, we kindof need to make money, we have
bills to pay.
And uh, she says, Why don't yougo be a cop again?
Well, that wasn't the rightanswer.
So I go, uh I become certifiedin the state of Florida.
(19:00):
Now I'm on the streets as a realcop.
Second day on the job, a youngman took his life.
Uh, I had to process the scene,I had to take the gun out of his
hand, and that just like stackedmore trauma.
I couldn't get his face out ofmy head.
I'm thinking of, you know, I'm47 years old running around
these streets dealing with theworst of the worst people.
Why am I doing this?
(19:21):
And after four months of being acop in the streets, uh, I came
home one day, broke down, prettymuch fell on the floor, and you
know, wife's concerned, she'slike, What's going on?
I'm like, Look, I know you needmy support.
I'm your husband, I'm a man,these are the things I'm
supposed to do, but I can't dothis.
Like, I just I can't.
Like, the my mental health isnot good.
(19:42):
I'm going down this downwardspiral.
Everything is suck, you know,sucks.
Everything is horrible.
I'm angry all the time, I'mmiserable.
And um, so she luckily havingthat support system once again.
You know, she's a teacher, shedoesn't make that good of money.
And uh, she says, okay, youknow, go ahead and quit.
(20:03):
Uh, that next day I went inthere after that four months.
I told my sergeant, I'm like,look, Sarge, I appreciate that
opportunity, but I can't do thisanymore.
Turned in my gun, turned in mybadge, hung everything up, and
then once again was faced withthe depression.
The, you know, I'm a man, I'mnot supposed to feel this way,
I'm supposed to succeed, I'msupposed to be strong, I'm
supposed to be tough.
What do I do now?
(20:24):
And the one thing that keptcoming back to me on a daily
basis is whenever I would see myuh clients out in town from my
gym, they'd always tell me, andeven to this day, people that I
talk to, people that I try toinspire, no one's coached us the
way you did.
No one led us the way you did,no one talked to us the way you
did, no one held us accountablethe way you did.
(20:45):
And I was like, Well, I canstill be a coach, I don't have
to have a building, and now Ican coach everywhere all over
the world, and essentiallythat's like where I'm at now
with who Coach Rob is podcasthost, podcast guest, trying to
be a keynote speaker, trying tospread that message of turning
(21:06):
pain into progress.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
And that was the birth to battle fitted.
So tell us about battle fitted.
SPEAKER_00 (21:12):
So, battle fitted is my crazy idea of when when I do
something, I don't go small, Iplay very big.
Um, so battle fitted encompassesa few things.
It's first of all, it's thecoaching, which is built on
three pillars fitness, mindset,and discipline.
Fitness first to take care ofour body, our overall health and
(21:33):
emotional well-being.
Usually, when people can lock insome sort of dedication to a
fitness, health, and nutritionplan, they can start making
those changes in their life.
I truly believe, as someone whowas almost 300 pounds when I got
out of the Navy and had to loseweight and figure out what works
and didn't work, owning a gym.
Um, fitness is number one for mylife and anybody that I coach
(21:56):
and come in contact with.
Mindset, giving them the tools,uh, tips, and tricks to be able
to continue on, whether that'spracticing gratitude, which is
huge in my life.
Uh, journaling, practicing breadbreath work, good sleep hygiene,
those things that we mightoverlook day-to-day basis, uh,
which helps us grow emotionalintelligence.
My emotional intelligence was sobad.
(22:19):
And now that every, you know, Istill have times where I flip
out.
Everybody flips out now andthen.
It's just, it's the nature ofthe beast.
But being able to control myanger, my sadness, my happiness,
like just to uh regulate thoseemotions and take that step back
and say, I'm okay, I'm not gonnafreak out, everything's good,
has been such a game changer inmy life.
(22:42):
And then the discipline becauseI don't want my clients to work
with me forever.
I want them to be able to healon their own and be able to
continue their journey to livethe best version of themselves.
And then finally, next is theBattle Fitted Clothing Line, uh,
which matches the message ofturning pain into progress and
the Battle Harder podcast, whereI tell real stories of people
(23:04):
who have faced adversity anddealt with struggles in their
life.
And just like we're talking now,now they're doing big things and
building back better.
SPEAKER_01 (23:12):
Before we cover the next topic in this episode, I
want to introduce you to theadventure sports lifestyle with
what I like to call a microstory about an adventure that
I've had.
The adventure sports lifestyleand my deep connection to nature
is essential to my good health.
So here's the story.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for a while, you know
that a Winnebago is on myadventure sports wish list, and
(23:35):
I'm not alone.
76% of RV owners are youngerthan age 50.
I've rented RVs in the past, andwhat I love is that our dog can
hang out in the comfort of acozy RV while I'm out
adventuring with friends orfamily.
And when I'm done, I have thecomforts of home for showers,
meals, and sleeping.
(23:56):
Then I can pack up and drive toour next adventure.
I did that.
I hope this inspires you to getoutside an adventure in an RV
alone with friends or with thepeople you love most.
Now back to the show where we'retalking with Coach Rob Wheeler.
Well, I know that you help men30 and older, but I have to tell
you, and maybe it's because Icome from a military background,
(24:21):
or perhaps it's because I feelthat messages for men resonate
more than messages that womenreceive.
You know, we're often taughtyou're a victim and you have to
reclaim your power and be aboss, you know, be.
And that's just not me.
I don't want to bother, I don'twant anyone to boss me around,
(24:43):
and I don't want to be anyoneelse's boss.
And even when I was in uh acorporate leadership role,
people would refer to me astheir boss, and I would tell
them that that I don't want tobe your boss.
I'm not your boss, I'm yourmanager because I'm not bossing
you around.
You know, you have autonomy, butyour message really resonates
(25:05):
with me as a woman, and I hopeother female listeners are um
taking this all in because thereis an important factor when it
comes to what you believe, yourmindset creates your life.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat in terms of mindset?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Definitely.
So, you know, I I like to saymindset over everything, right?
Um from someone who had thosedeep dark thoughts, from someone
who had a gun in his hand acouple times and wondering if
this was it, uh, feeling broken,feeling like something's wrong
with me, not understanding thisinternal battle that we have as
(25:45):
humans.
And, you know, just like most,just like anybody, but and the
reason why I specialize withmen, and and my message is for
everybody, but why I specializewith men is it took me a long
time to be vulnerable.
It took me a long time torealize that it's okay to not be
okay.
It took a long time for me torealize that healing comes from
that place of going in thatdarkest moment.
(26:08):
And I kind of attribute it tolike the cartoons or the movies
where the knight's about to facethe dragon and he's you know in
his armor and he's ready to go,and he goes in that deep dark
cave and he can't see anything,and all of a sudden there's this
big, scary, angry monster,right?
And you can run, you can giveup, or you can fight.
And you have to get to a pointin your life that no matter what
(26:32):
you want, like I'm very timeconscious, I'm very, I know we
have one life, you know.
I know there's no, I wish therewas lots of do-overs, you know,
but there's no do-overs.
So why are you not going to liveit to be the best version of
yourself?
Why are you not going to giveeverything you can to have what
you want, to do what you want,to be what you want, to love who
you want?
(26:52):
And once you realize that, like,that you can do things and not
let mental health, uh, not letcertain like I had a guy on my
show, he had cancer and he ran adamn Iron Man.
So the the power of mindsetright there just shows you that
if you can figure out a way todig deep with inside your inner
self and flip that switch onsaying, I gotta do this, like
(27:16):
you can accomplish just abouteverything.
And I I want to preface thiswith this, and I tell everybody
this my trauma did not go away.
Okay, I'm not healed, I'm notsome magic guru that depression,
no, like I still have severeinsomnia that I'm trying to
figure out how to sleep better,I still have some dark days, I
still have bad days, but frompracticing gratitude, from
(27:40):
journaling, from havingsomething to focus on, and you
don't have to be a businessowner like me, but if you try to
focus on going to do jujitsu orbeing in some sort of fitness
routine, strength andconditioning, or if you know if
you like uh Zumba or Pilates,whatever, whatever you like and
you enjoy, and if you can focuson being good at that, then
(28:01):
that's gonna help you be betterat other things in your life.
So you don't have to own abusiness to be better, but you
have to find something that youenjoy that you can you have to
have goals and challengeyourself.
Like that's the only way.
That's the only way.
SPEAKER_01 (28:14):
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(29:42):
Rob, everywhere you go, whetherit's in person, on social media,
everyone's talking about beingstuck.
What can you tell us aboutovercoming procrastination?
SPEAKER_00 (29:52):
So, the the crazy thing is the simplest things
typically work, right?
There's a lot of days that CoachRob does.
Not want to go to the gym orwork out.
There's a lot of days where I'min my inner head and I'm like,
I'm not going to work out today.
And then I'm inside my headsaying, Yes, you are going work
out today.
And you just have to be able toforce yourself to just take that
(30:13):
extra step.
Like, it's kind of like ifyou're playing chess, like you
have to make that extra move tomake sure that you're going to
win.
So, how do we do that?
Okay, well, if I know I have ahard time getting up and I use
my phone as an alarm clock, putmy phone in another room, put my
phone in the bathroom where Ihave to get out of bed to turn
it off.
You have to take those smallsteps, which really isn't major
(30:35):
to propel you forward.
You know, if you don't go to thegym because, oh, I can't get my
gym bag ready.
Make your gym bag ready beforeyou go to bed.
Like take the steps.
Just like we have bad habits, wehave to have healthy habits and
we have to use the healthyhabits to help us get unstuck,
so to speak.
And it's not even that.
You know, a lot of times I'mnoticing uh as men is when we
(30:58):
get stuck in life, right?
You get married, like I havethree kids, you know, uh, I'm a
full-time student, I'm running abusiness.
You're in that rat race, youknow, whether you're a business
owner or not, a podcast host,and sometimes you just get stuck
in that insanity loop of doingthe same thing over and over and
over again.
And before you know it, a year'spast, five years past, and
(31:19):
you're like, what has happenedto me?
So when I deal with people thatare that are stuck, it's first
changing those healthy habits.
And once again, that's why I sayfitness is important because
most of the people are stuck,they're not doing some sort of
exercise, they're not takingcare of just getting outside for
a walk, is so important.
Like little things.
So I help people change thelittle things to be able to do
(31:41):
the big things.
SPEAKER_01 (31:43):
So we touched on your first book on uh
procrastination.
Your next book it talks withmental resilience.
What are the five steps tomental resilience?
Just um, you know, briefly listthem out for us because we can
go by the book.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
I think we'll need to go by the book.
I wrote that so long ago.
Um, but it's just it everythinghas to start with the belief
within, right?
Even if you don't believe inyourself, you have to force
yourself to say, hey, I can dothis.
And having mental toughness,it's not about I think people
(32:18):
get this wrong idea that thinkyou have to be like this big,
strong, you know, like guy,monster, woman, person that like
nothing can hurt me.
No, you just you have to be ableto take action in order to get
rid of, I guess, the negativenegativity, or so one thing that
worked for me when I was in avery, very dark place, uh, after
(32:40):
I learned that gratitude, sopracticing gratitude was huge,
right?
Uh, when I went to bed, I wouldthink of three things that I was
thankful for each and everynight.
So, you know, and it could bethe fruit three three three, I
can't talk today, the samethings over and over again.
So it could be every day.
I'm thankful for my wife, mydog, and my house.
As long as I'm just thankful forsomething.
(33:01):
But what really helped with mymental resilience was just
getting up and especially thoseinitial very dark days and
saying it's gonna be a good day.
And saying that over and overand over and over, and from what
I've done and learned from otherpodcast guests, from actual
coaches, like that's justreframing.
It's called reframing.
(33:22):
It's when you take somethingnegative and you turn it around
to be a positive.
So instead of saying, I can't, Ican, I won't, I will, those
things right there, thosepositive affirmations that
reframing how you speak toyourself, because that's very,
very important, that's gonnabuild that mental resilience
over time.
You we know through statistics,we know through like if you say
(33:45):
you're gonna have a bad day,you're gonna have a bad day.
And if you say you're gonna havea good day, you may not have a
good day, but you're probablynot gonna have a bad day, or
you're gonna have an okay day.
And I used to say all the time,like, life sucks.
I hate life, everything's black,everything's dark, and guess
what?
Everything bad happened to me.
It was only when I wasaccountable for my own actions
(34:06):
and I said, I'm okay.
I have this nice house I livein, I have a woman who loves me,
I have kids who you know I havea good relationship with, I'm
healthy, I get to wake up everymorning and go work out, I get
to go to school, I get to dothis.
You have to start reframing andsay, I get to instead of I have
to.
And I think that's huge for themental resilience.
SPEAKER_01 (34:28):
I want to go back to something because I didn't
mention it, but I want to saythat I'm really happy that you
are that you have a programthat's although it resonates
with anyone, but that it'sspecifically to help men,
because over the past 15 years,and and I did an entire podcast,
one of my earliest episodes wason the toxic nature, on the
(34:52):
toxic masculinity label, and howthat label has hurt men and
boys.
And even in um my guy and Ifounded the American Adventure
Sports Club.
It's a nonprofit organizationthat helps low-income families
access nature, adventure sports,archery, camping, hiking, rock
(35:14):
climbing, kayaking, all thethings at no cost.
And even our boys, their age sixto 16 who come to camp, they
have expressed in their ownwords, not it wasn't like a
guided um discussion, but a lotof times when a kid is sitting
with a counselor or with a smallgroup and their counselor or
(35:37):
around the campfire, a lot ofthe boys will say, I don't feel
like I have a place.
I don't feel like I belonganywhere.
And and they also talk aboutfeeling pressured by teachers to
act differently, to not bemasculine, to be more feminine,
to um not defend themselves whenthey're being beat up or not to
(36:00):
ask for help when they need it,believe it or not, because the
teacher doesn't want to help theboy the way that I understand
what the kids are telling me.
The teacher doesn't want to helpthe boy if he is a has a
masculine character, if he has amore feminine, a more beta male
character, then the teachers areall in.
(36:21):
Even a male, a male teacher,they're all in to help that
child.
And so I see a lot of hurtingmen and boys because they've
been labeled um as toxic justfor being masculine.
Not that they've done anythingwrong, just that all that innate
(36:44):
character type, the characterthat they were born with, is
there's something uh wrong withit.
And we really need to changethat because it's causing a lot
of mental health challenges inboth men and boys.
So I thank you for the work thatyou're doing.
I think it's very important, notonly for our communities, but
it's very important for ourcountry.
SPEAKER_00 (37:03):
Thank you.
I just feel like I feel likesometimes I have a very old
school or old way of thinkingwith how I live and grow up.
And I want to tell yourcommunity, Coach Rob cries.
I I have moments where I'vebroken down.
I have moments like mydaughter's gonna be getting
married soon, and my uh myson-in-law came and asked me for
(37:25):
permission, and that was a verylike emotional moment, like
seeing him propose to her um howI feel about me as a person and
all the big things I want to do.
I have big emotions, and as aman, I I cry and I feel and I
hurt, but I also understand thatI have to protect my wife, I
have to provide for her, I haveto preside over her.
(37:47):
I should be hard to kill, so tospeak, meaning that I should
have some sort of discipline,whether it's how to use a weapon
or how to survive in thewilderness or like that.
So when I when I think ofmasculinity, I think of a total
package of a man who knows whenhe can be vulnerable, knows that
he can tell his kids that heloves them, but at the same
(38:07):
time, if he has to freakingprotect his family, he can do
that.
And that's another reason, onceagain, why fitness is so
important.
If someone's coming after yourfamily and and you're out of
shape and you can't even goupstairs, how are you gonna
protect the people you'resupposed to be protecting?
SPEAKER_01 (38:23):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And you know, I have a quickstory about that.
Um when I talk with boys and Itell them that it's okay to
protect yourself, they seemreally shocked.
So I think the that that someadult is saying, if someone hits
(38:44):
you, it's okay to defendyourself, it's okay to protect
yourself.
It it's you don't need to crawlinto a ball, into the fetal
position and allow someone toharm you because they are not
getting those messages withsomeone else.
But it's a human instinct toprotect your life and to protect
(39:04):
yourself from getting hurt.
And um, but I also appreciatethat you're saying you don't
have to be hard all the time.
Every human being, no matteryour gender, should have a full
range of human uh emotionexpression.
Exactly.
I congratulate you for that.
Rob, I've never experiencedimposter syndrome.
I don't know what that saysabout me, but what is imposter
(39:27):
syndrome and how do we overcomeit?
SPEAKER_00 (39:29):
So, I mean, that's something I actually deal with
still to this day.
Even as I was in the gym and youknow, I'm lifting weights and I
have my goal I'm trying to focuson.
A lot of times my brain wandersand I'm like, can Coach Rob do
this?
Can I build this brand that I'mtrying to build?
Can I reach these people thatI'm trying to build?
So, imposter syndrome is justbasically not believing in
(39:51):
yourself.
It's, you know, maybe you dowant to be a police officer and
or go in the military and yousay, I can't.
And maybe that I can't isbecause your parents or friends
or family are putting some kindof barrier on you, which in turn
puts that mental block on you.
It's just a mental block.
Look, I never thought in amillion years that I've done
half the things that I've done.
(40:12):
Um, I've done acting, I've beenon TV, I mean, I have my
business.
Like it's being able to you youhave to be able to once again,
everything's that mindset andthat belief in self, that
positive affirmations that Ican, not I can't.
I learned, you know, a littlelate, late, and I wish I learned
this sooner.
(40:33):
Who cares if people put youdown?
Who cares if people say no?
Who cares if people tell you youcan't?
Because until you go for it, youyou never know.
And even with some of the guestson my podcast, um, people are
like, Well, how are you gettingbig guests?
I just message them and ask.
I'm like, hey, can you be on mypodcast?
This is what it's about.
And if they say no, okay, on tothe next one.
(40:56):
It's not it's not about my egoor how I feel.
So, imposter syndrome isessentially not believing in
yourself and thinking you can'tdo something.
And how we get out of that, Imean, the number one is jump
head first.
You have to jump headfirst intolife.
Uh, you have to be able to dothose scary things that you
(41:16):
don't want to do because at theend of the day, we realize that
most of the time it's really notthat scary.
SPEAKER_01 (41:22):
Absolutely.
In addition to battle-fittedcoaching, you mentioned the
battle harder podcast.
What can listeners expect whenthey tune in?
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Just real, I like the idea of being a storyteller.
You know, I I always think backto before all this amazing
technology, before eventelephones, television, people
told stories.
And having the ability to talkto people literally around the
world from different walks oflife, and they all at the end of
(41:54):
the day, I'm learning thatalmost all of us have some form
of trauma.
It's very few that people don'tgo through some form of trauma,
but we all deal with itdifferently.
So you can either deal with itby, like I said, giving up or
becoming a drug addict or analcoholic or going to jail, or
you can fight through it, andout of that darkness comes some
(42:15):
of the most beautiful things.
So the people on my show is justthey're real raw stories about
how they overcame theiradversity, their struggle, their
trauma, and what they're doingnow.
It shows that mindset is veryimportant.
How we think about ourselves,how we talk about ourselves, how
we feel about ourselves is veryimportant.
(42:36):
And even some of the supportfrom husbands and wives and
friends and family that help usget out of the dark times is
equally important.
So they're just gonna findsomething from I've had a person
who struggled with emotionaleating, and now she coaches
people on emotional eating.
I had a woman that uh wasphysically uh sexually abused,
left with nothing, and now shecoaches, she became a personal
(42:58):
development coach.
Um, so I'm building this, Iguess, resource, so to speak,
because if a young man, youngwoman, they resonate with one of
my episodes, they can reach outto that person, and most likely
that person is going to talk tothem and help them overcome
their problem.
It's not about Coach Rob on theBattleheart podcast, it's about
(43:18):
everybody else and just showingthat there is a way through.
SPEAKER_01 (43:22):
Rob, I want to tell you that you are a beautiful
soul.
I mean that, brother.
I'm very um excited to allowother men to hear your message.
I'm sorry, I'm getting a littleemotional.
SPEAKER_00 (43:39):
You gotta save the waterworks for when you're on my
episode.
SPEAKER_01 (43:43):
I'm just really excited to save men's lives.
I think we have done adisservice to not only just the
men in this country, because wehave international listeners,
but the men around the roleworld, especially in Western
countries.
And um it's time that we buildthem up and that it takes all of
us, it not just your familymembers, but your neighbors,
(44:07):
people in your community.
If you appreciate the men inyour life and the men in your
community and what they bring tosociety, then work towards
building them up because a lotof what they come into contact
with in the media, social mediaand entertainment is tearing
them down.
So just hearing your message isreally just touching me in the
(44:29):
heart.
And I appreciate that.
What else can do you want totell listeners before you go?
SPEAKER_00 (44:34):
I I think just, you know, once again, while I
specialize with Men 30 Plus,whether you're a man, woman,
just be a better human.
Like at the end of the day, youknow, if you see someone that
needs help, give them help.
If you see someone that you needto hold the door, like we got to
get back, and that's why I sayI'm an old thinker.
We gotta get back to justplease, thank you, excuse me,
(44:56):
holding doors open, askingpeople if they need help, like
just looking out for each other.
It's not just about me helpingmen, it's about just looking out
for each other because at theend of the day, we never know
what that person's goingthrough.
And taking that time to just dothat simple little thing, it
could make the differencebetween whether this person
decides to stay on that earth ornot.
So just be a better human.
SPEAKER_01 (45:18):
Amen.
Battlefitted has a greatselection of apparel, fitness
apparel that I'm definitelygonna get a couple of shirts for
myself and uh maybe a friend ortwo.
And I hope that you'll check itout, friends.
Until next time, here at the NewNormal Big Life Podcast.
I'm your host, Antoinette Lee.
(45:38):
I hope to see you on the riverin the backcountry or in the
horse barn living your bestlife.
Until next time, friends, I'mAntoinette Lee, the Wellness
Warrior here at the New NormalBig Live Podcast.
I hope one day to see you on theriver in the backcountry or in
the horse barn living your bestlife.
Struggling with health problemsor seeking natural health
solutions, don't miss our latestpodcast episode, exclusive blog
(46:01):
posts, and free ebooks packedwith life-changing wellness
tips.
Join our newsletter at nnbl.blogto unlock this bonus content and
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Magnesium expert Natalie Girato,founder of Rooted In, found
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After interviewing magnesiumexpert Natalie Dorado, I became
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