June 23, 2024 • 32 mins
On this week's episode, Julie Goodwin, the first-ever winner of MasterChef Australia, bravely shares her personal journey through depression, anxiety, addiction, and trauma.
Julie’s candid revelations from her new memoir, "Your Time Starts Now," offer a raw and honest look at her struggles and the healing power of vulnerability.
Learn how writing and promoting her book took Julie on an emotional journey and how she found unexpected solace in connecting with readers who had similar experiences.
Reflecting on growing up in a household where diet culture influenced every meal, Julie discusses the impact of 80s dieting trends, how they shaped her food habits, and her efforts to foster a healthier approach for her children.
Our conversation also explores evolving relationships with alcohol and the moment of clarity when it no longer served its purpose.
But what does it take to heal from trauma and addiction truly? Tune in to find out.
Want to feel more in control around food? Check out my Stop Struggling With Food Guide, currently on sale for 40% off.
You’ll also find 50 of my favourite recipes to get you inspired!
Get my Free 5 Day Course to help you stop binge and emotional eating.
Looking for more support to feel in control around food? I'd love to support you in my Binge Free Academy.
Come follow me on the gram at @nude_nutritionist (no nude pics, sorry).
Want to share some feedback or have an idea for an episode, I'd LOVE to hear from you - hit me up at hello@lyndicohen.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I was raised with.
You know you shouldn't eat fatand you shouldn't.
You know those bloody puffyrice cake things with cottage
cheese, like absolutelysoul-destroying stuff.
I had a horrible relationshipwith food All through my life.
I've gone you know what this isunhealthy.
I'm not doing well drinkingthis much.
(00:24):
I'm going to stop.
I've got to have creative timein my week.
I've got to have a little bitof solitude here and there in my
week.
It's just got to happen.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You may have first heard of Julie Goodwin when she
captured our hearts as the firstever winner of MasterChef
Australia.
I know I watched the entireseries and fell in love with her
then, and since then she hasbecome a household name in
Australia.
Everyone knows her and verymuch known for her warmth, her
personality, her down-to-earthcooking style and very, very
(00:59):
delicious recipes.
In fact, her first book, ourFamily Table, went immediately
to number one, where it stayedfor over 10 weeks, and it's now
sold over 200,000 copies, whichmakes it one of Australia's
largest selling cookbooks ever.
But behind her smile andlaughter, julie has struggled
with depression and anxiety, aswell as addiction and trauma,
(01:21):
and she shares her storycandidly and beautifully in her
new book your Time Starts Now,which I think is a spectacular
read, a spectacular memoir forany person, and I do highly
recommend.
I'm lucky enough to sit downwith Julie and ask her some
questions, but hey, if you'renew here to the podcast, my name
is Lindy Cohen.
(01:42):
Welcome to no Wellness Wankery.
As a dietician and nutritionist, I'm here to help you be
healthy without the nonsense,without the wellness wankery
that makes it so tricky for usto just eat healthily, and eat
when we feel hungry and stopwhen we feel full, and all those
things we know we'd like to bebetter at, and I'm going to help
you do that with some intuitiveeating tips to help you eat
more mindfully and with lessguilt and less shame.
(02:04):
Now it's time to talk to Julie.
Well, julie, welcome to theshow.
I'm very, very happy to haveyou here.
Thanks, lindy.
I thought your book a memoiryour Time Starts Now was truly.
It was breathtaking.
It was raw, it was beautiful,it was hard at times, and I just
want to say thank you forwriting it, because what you do
(02:26):
is you share your highs and yourlows and I, just before we get
into it, I want to talk aboutthat book promotion period,
which I know you are in thethroes of at the moment, and I
think one of those hard thingswhen you've written a book that
is as vulnerable as this memoiris you have to rehash your very
hard, tricky stories sometimesto people who have like just
gotten a press release of likewhat your book is about and
(02:46):
haven't taken the time to likeunderstand it.
How has that felt?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Look, in all honesty, it's really nice to actually
start an interview with someoneacknowledging that they've read
the book, because it is hard tohave the sort of conversations
around it with an interviewerwho hasn't, and who may have
only read the press release andonly has those little same
bullet points that everyone elsehas.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So thank you, thank you for reading it, you used to
keep getting asked the exactsame question and giving the
exact same answer.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, but the thing that obviously it was a hard
thing to write but I wasn'tprepared for how hard it was to
release, actually At the verystart.
You know the very firstinterview that came out, you
know the tabloid media they gothold of like a really salacious
headline and that came thisclickbaity thing and they put up
pictures of my face, sort of inugly crying mode from
(03:36):
MasterChef a few years ago, andI just thought, oh my God, what
have I done?
But being on book tour has beenvery healing because I'm going
face to face with rooms full ofpeople who come up and meet me
afterwards and I can forgetabout all that tabloid crap
because it's so unimportant inthe face of the conversations
that I'm having with real lifepeople.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, and the conversation you're having in
this book, which is spectacularand I would like everyone
listening to read it.
What it is is you're sharingthe vulnerability and I think we
have this fear that once wetell people our darkest moments,
the things that we feel thedeepest shame around and you
reveal a lot of those moments inthis book I think we think that
people are going to judge usand think less of us, and yet
(04:18):
what I think happens is theexact opposite.
It's by sharing our shamestories that we actually help
everyone else go.
Oh, we can sigh in reliefbecause we realize it's not just
us, it's not just us whocarries around these really
heavy, imperfect moments.
So that's what I took away.
Is that you kind of?
In this book, you're giving uspermission to be human?
It's the vulnerability for methat I think makes this book
(04:40):
pretty special.
Did it feel that way writingthis book?
Did it feel like you werealleviating that shame?
Was this book cathartic?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, look, in many ways it was, and I'm still
working through whether it'sbeen a cathartic process, but
it's becoming more so, like Isay, as I meet people and hear
other people's stories.
Writing it was freaking brutal.
It was really hard.
I relied on my psychologist tohelp me through some of it.
I had to have some really hardconversations, you know, because
(05:12):
this is not just me telling mystory.
This is publishing a book that'sgoing to go out into the world.
It's got things about myparents in there and it's got,
you know, things about otherpeople, and I don't like to tell
other people's stories, but inthe telling of my story I have
to touch on other people, youknow.
So I've had to speak to some ofthose people and say this is
going to impact you as well.
(05:33):
But you know, my parents havebeen so gracious about the whole
thing, which has blown my mind,because you know they're
boomers, right, and you knowboomers don't air our dirty
laundry and it's the whole thatculture that we, you know, stiff
up a lip and soldier on and andwe don't talk about the hard
(05:53):
stuff and we don't talk aboutthe, the, you know, the undainty
stuff, um, so I'm really proudof them for just saying you know
what the world has changed andwe wish there'd been more
support back when you needed it,when you're a kid, when you're
a teenager, even as a young mum.
You know that's now 28 yearsago, holy hell.
So you know there is bettersupport now.
(06:16):
But this is in the writing ofthis book, lindy.
So I mean, we all know thatwe're all talking more about
mental health and we're alltalking, you know, same with
what you do.
We're talking more abouthealthy diet, culture and all
that sort of stuff instead ofshaming people.
But I think where we need toland a lot of us is to give
ourselves permission to havethat conversation about
ourselves.
So I don't know anyone whowouldn't say are you OK?
(06:38):
And if somebody said to me, no,I'm not, it would be what can I
do?
But how many of us are willingto say I am struggling?
You know, we've got to let goof years and years and years of
conditioning, of count yourblessings.
Always be grateful.
There's always someone worseoff than you.
All of that is true, all of thatis valid and perspective is
(07:00):
important.
But we also need to be able tosay yeah, all of that is true
and I am grateful and I do havea roof over my head and I've got
a beautiful family and I havemy physical health.
Whatever it is that you have tobe grateful for, however, I am
struggling.
I can't cope.
I feel sad too often.
I can't stop crying at themoment, I can't feel joy in the
(07:21):
things that used to bring me joy.
I don't feel a connection withthe people around me.
We have got to be able to letgo of all the shaming that comes
from the outside, from theinternet, from the first world
problems.
Crowd and say I haveperspective, I have gratitude, I
count blessings and still I'mhaving a struggle and I need
(07:43):
help.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So it's having better conversations, and sometimes
very hard conversations, withthe people closest to us, which
I think feels incredibly brave.
You know that's the irony.
You know we've been told thathaving a mental illness means
you're weak and so you must hideit.
But actually that is the kindof way where we're slinking off
and not confronting, whereas thesaying I'm not okay.
That is a very hard thing andit actually takes a very brave
(08:05):
person to be able to do that itdoesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I wish it didn't, you know.
I wish there wasn't thatfeeling of shame.
I'm trying to normalize it.
In my own household used to be.
We'd sit around the dinnertable and we'd go around the
table asking highlight of theday, and I loved that because no
matter how shitty a day they'vehad, they've got to think of
something good about it.
And it was very distressing tome how few times it was dinner,
(08:31):
you know.
But then, after I went throughall of this, I'm like that's not
the only thing.
I need to be teaching theseboys that they need to look for
the positive.
I also need to teach them thatthey're allowed to say when
they're struggling.
So now we still do highlight ofthe day, because it's still
important to look for the goodand to feel that gratitude.
But then we go around where'syour head at?
And that's where they get tosay you know what?
(08:54):
I had a really bad day at work.
My boss was hard on me today.
I don't think it was fair andwe can either go into it or they
can say I don't really want totalk about it, but that's why
I'm a bit quiet at dinner, youknow.
So the whole family gets to bea little bit aware of where
we're all sitting in our ownbrain, and so I've got three
(09:14):
young adult men who areabsolutely comfortable talking
about where their head's at, youknow.
So there's no shame around that, and I no longer say no, no, no
.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I don't want to hear that, I just want to hear the
highlight.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You know there's learning for me too.
I'm the product of my parents,they are the product of their
parents, and you know we've gotto.
When we know better, we got todo better.
That's what I'm trying to crackopen, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Amen, and it's also realizing that your parents were
raised in a certain way andthey handed down to you the best
blueprints that they were given.
They probably made a wholebunch of improvements based on
how they were raised.
In a way, it helps us toforgive the little things that
may have happened in ourchildhood to go.
You really were doing your best, you really did have my best
interest in heart and this wasdone to you in a worse way, and
(10:01):
so every generation we arehelping to change this so that,
I mean, it sounds like the waythat you've raised your boys
this is what you know we'retalking to parents these days
about is asking this how do youhave better conversations around
it?
And I think this is a very,very tangible example.
Also, this prioritizationaround the dinner table.
This is a very important thingto me because it is a meeting
place.
It is more than just food.
(10:22):
Food is always just more thanjust food, isn't it?
And I want to talk to you aboutyour relationship with food.
You entered the MasterChefkitchen as a home cook.
You didn't have any formaltraining and, in fact, that was
kind of what was so spectacularto watch you.
It's like I think many peoplelistening, watched you in real
time.
Through that experience, fellin love with you is that we felt
(10:42):
akin to you.
You were everyone's favoritefrom the beginning and then
you've gone on to just do allthese incredible things.
You've opened a cooking school,you're a radio host, you wrote
bestselling books.
Can you tell me a little bitabout, I guess, your
relationship with foodthroughout all of this?
Because food is something thatcan be very healing and it
sounds like to me that the wayyou use food these days is it's
(11:04):
a creative outlet, it issomething that brings you joy,
it's a healthy coping strategy.
Can you talk to me about that,certainly.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I grew up in the 80s, teenagers throughout the 80s,
and the diet culture then wasout of control.
My mum used to go to the KiloCounters Club, which was like
Pavo Weight Watchers andwhatever diet she was on, we
were all on.
So we had some pretty sketchyexperiences eating some of her
(11:34):
diet food.
But I know I was raised with,you know, you shouldn't eat fat
and you shouldn't you know,those bloody puffy rice cake
things were with cottage cheese,like absolutely soul-destroying
stuff and and a horrible.
I had a horrible relationshipwith food and, uh, you know,
finish your plate becausethere's children starving in
Africa, all of that kind ofstuff.
So I, you know, and all love tomy mum.
(11:57):
You know her mum was raised inthe Depression.
She was born at the very end ofWorld War II.
There was scarcity, there was alot going on then that's not
going on now, but I tried toflip that.
So my boys have never beenforced to finish their plate and
generally my philosophy is thatthe food goes in the middle of
the table and you take what youwant.
So I'm not serving up theseheaping plates to everyone and
(12:19):
then forcing it down them.
You take what you want.
I do say to them you've got toeat all the colours, and I also.
Our house rule and it was just arule was you don't have to like
it and you don't have to finishit, but you do have to taste it
, and they sort of took that onboard, and I know that it's not
(12:40):
that simple for everybody.
Those are the rules that I'vesort of changed from my
childhood, but my beliefs aroundfood.
So you know, lindy, I cook withbutter and I cook with joy and
we eat fried things sometimes.
And you know, for me, if youmake it from scratch, you know
exactly what's in it.
So if you've got a particulardietary, you can make
(13:00):
adjustments to a recipe to suitwhat you need.
If your doctor's told you tolower your sodium intake, you
eat something homemade.
You lower the sodium that youput into it.
You can't do that with foodthat you go out to eat or that
you buy in.
That's my contribution tohealth.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I think it's spot on, because I think you have to
have a certain degree of trustwith food in order to go.
I'm allowed to cook and I'mallowed to cook foods that
aren't in a meal plan.
I am allowed to cook in a waythat varies from this perfect
one version of health that I'vebeen given, and I think cooking
is like there's no better way tobe connected to your food than
by cooking what it is, and weused to do this thing where we'd
(13:38):
like bake a cake from scratchand it was this beautiful, like
connected process and that hasbeen.
You know, we've been told thatthat's not okay, but I think
there's.
I think that's wholesome andbeautiful and there's time and
place for all of that.
And something where I think, ifyou're raising kids, where
you're cooking healthy foods,less healthy foods, all in the
same sphere, and we're allconnected around the kitchen, I
think that's health to me.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh look, I think there's unhealthy eating.
But I think that food itself ifyou're talking about natural
food, the way our grandparentsused to grow it, prepare it and
all that sort of stuff fooditself isn't bad.
I think sometimes the way weuse it as a crutch or as
self-medicating, that can becomeproblematic.
But for me, food is at thecentre of everything important
in our lives.
It's at the wedding, it's atthe funeral, it's at the
(14:26):
christening, it's at thebirthday party, it's at the
barbecue, the weekend gatheringwhat are we bringing?
What do you want to bring?
What do you want to bring?
It's at the heart of everydinner time.
So for me and this will come asa surprise, I'm sure, to a lot
of people the food is secondaryto the act of gathering.
So the reason I like to cookgood food is, you're right, it's
(14:47):
a creative outlet for me andit's one that contributed to my
family.
It's not like painting oranything where I had to feel
sort of guilty and selfish to doit.
I'm letting go of that, by theway, but you know, I could be
creative and it was contributingto my family.
The reason I like to make goodfood is because it made them
happy to come to the table, youknow, and they still are happy
to come to the table.
(15:08):
I've still got two of themliving at home and the third one
lives five minutes away and weeat together a lot.
So my plan for world dominationin that sense has been well
executed and they're happy tocome to the table.
But once I've got them there,the food is secondary to the
conversation, it's secondary tothe connection, it's secondary
to the.
It is the team meeting and ifyou've got a business, you know
(15:30):
that the team meeting is prettycrucial part of that business's
culture.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I mean, that's what's important, right, you know, not
all the the fandangled thingswe think of success, but that
connection.
Can we talk about copingstrategies for a moment, because
my specialty is in people whofeel like they use food as a
coping strategy, as something toget through the day.
There are lots of differentcoping strategies out there.
One of those, you know somepeople overexercise, some people
are addicted to gambling overshopping, whatever it is.
(15:57):
And can we talk about alcoholas well?
And in this book you talk aboutyour relationship with alcohol,
how it got to the point whereyou found you were going for a
glass of wine and it became ahabit.
And then, at some point whendid you realize that your
relationship with alcohol wasn'tserving you?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Oh, look, in all honesty, I've realized that on
and off over the yearsthroughout my life, you know,
I've got to a point where I'vethought, yeah, this is not great
.
And I've stopped on and offthroughout my whole life, but
this time around it was just apart of this whole toxic mess
that I was in, and I guess therealisation that it was like a
(16:36):
proper problem was when I wentto stop and I couldn't.
So all through my life I'vegone.
You know what this is unhealthy.
I'm not doing well drinkingthis much.
I'm going to stop and I couldstop.
This time around I literallycouldn't sleep unless I'd had
wine to stop my brain and itjust got out of control.
(17:00):
And, yeah, I mean I would loveto have been one of those people
who took up over exercising.
I'm sure that there's peoplewho do that, who don't love it,
but there's not the socialstigma attached to exercising
too much that there is todrinking too much, um, or eating
too much, you know, um,self-medicating with sugar or
with you know.
So, yeah, it was doing me amassive disservice and it has
(17:25):
all my life.
In all honesty, I'm not one ofthose.
I'm engineered for it to be aproblem for me it's you know,
there's science behind the genesof the whole thing and I'm
certain that there's geneticpredisposition, and so that
doesn't help and my personalityis kind of all or nothing.
I'm not a by halves sort ofperson.
(17:47):
So if I do something I go outhard on it and I always say
that's why I'm grateful I'venever been offered an illicit
drug in my whole life becauseI'd be dead.
I just have no doubt.
I'm just not someone who can gooh that was nice, so I'll leave
it at a little bit.
I'm like oh that was nice, somore will be nicer, and a lot
more will be a lot nicer, Sure.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Exactly, I always think, with alcohol.
I've recently not been drinkingnot drinking much for a year and
a half at least now because Ijust like my brain a whole lot
better when I don't drinkalcohol.
I like my life a whole lotbetter when I don't drink
alcohol, and that's just what Ifound for me, which requires you
to do a little bit of anexperiment in addition to
(18:32):
creating a life that you don'tneed to flee from, and I think
this is perhaps the thing that'skind of underestimated a little
bit, where we kind of do thesecoping strategies.
We're like cool, I'm going totry the little tips and the
tricks, but it's also doing thework which I think you have
consistently done going totherapy, speaking to
psychologists, psychiatrists,doing the hard stuff so that at
the same time, you're usingthese coping strategies but
(18:52):
you're also doing the hard workto kind of create a life that
you feel like you don't need totake alcohol so you can fall
asleep to quiet your brain.
You're doing that hard work.
Can you talk to me a bit abouthow you've come to feel about
things like talk therapy?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Well, you know, I was kind of forced into it.
I went like all the way to thebottom before I, you know, you
say willingness to do the work Ididn't want to acknowledge
anything.
I didn't want to acknowledgeanything.
I didn't want to acknowledge amental health condition, I
didn't want to stop drinking, Ididn't want to say there was a
(19:30):
problem, I just wanted to feelbetter and I couldn't.
And it became a life and deathsituation and I was taken to the
hospital.
It became a life and deathsituation and I was taken to the
hospital and so I was kind offorced into a situation where it
was like, okay, nothing I'mdoing is working, I've just got
(19:51):
to surrender to other people whoknow better than me and just,
bloody will do it, you know.
And so I did.
The pieces of the puzzle fellinto place slowly and one at a
time, but that taught therapyabout having to heal certain
things and process some oldtraumas and go through all of
that.
What that has meant is that Idon't need to drink now because
(20:11):
the parts of me that wanted tobe numb, that I needed to shut
up, don't need to be numbanymore and they don't need to
be silenced anymore and thatsounds a little bit airy-fairy
and out there, but it's just thetruth and it's a, it's a
process and it's one that I'llprobably be going through, um,
hopefully, in ever depletingcircles for the rest of my life.
(20:34):
You know, um, you've just gotto keep doing the work, the
physical side of it, the mentalside of it, the the emotional
side of it.
That you know all the things,that all those memes on facebook
that you roll your eyes andscroll on by until they mean
something to you.
Oh, my god, you cannot pourfrom an empty cup.
That butterfly loaded pink thingin my face was right you know,
(20:55):
so there comes a point where yousort of go maybe I shouldn't be
annoyed by those things andquestion as to why they annoy me
, and maybe it's because I needto hear it.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, you have to hear it.
The algorithm realizes that youhave to hear it.
Listen, lady, I heard aconversation where you were
speaking to Jessica Rowe and youwere talking about.
You gave this analogy about aGerman shepherd and in the
relationship of talking abouttrauma and addiction, do you
mind sharing that with us?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Sure.
So there's a statement that isNot all dogs are German
Shepherds, but all GermanShepherds are dogs, and that is
a statement I've heard, not inrelation to those things, but
what occurred to me and this iswhen I was doing work on alcohol
addiction, when I was in arehab that all of the people
that I met who were strugglingwith one addiction or another,
(21:45):
every single one of them hadsome kind of trauma from their
past all different kinds oftrauma, not all the same trauma.
And what occurred to me wasthat there are people who've
suffered trauma that don't endup with an addiction.
Right, we all know people whoaren't addicted to anything that
have had traumas, but everysingle person with an addiction
(22:05):
that I have met has a trauma.
So all German Shepherds aredogs.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
This is beautiful to me because I mean, it is backed
up very much by the research.
What we know is, withdisordered eating and eating
disorders, we know it's a copingstrategy.
It's not really about the food,as you said, not never really
about the food.
It is a way of coping and thereis this very clear relationship
between going through traumaand using food as an addiction,
as a coping strategy, and Idon't think I talk about that
(22:30):
enough and I think it's a veryclear relationship in the
research to say that if you'rekind of going I have experienced
some real hardships in my life,some trauma, and you have
notices coming up for you withfood then I think it is very
worthwhile exploring.
And whether or not you'reforced or you willingly go, I
think getting that talk therapyand doing that hard work is very
important.
In addition to the copingstrategies which you now sound
(22:51):
like you've got a bucket load of, I have lots of coping
strategies to deal with myanxiety and my shtick, including
I need to go for walks, I needto do certain things.
Sometimes it feels kind ofexhausting having to keep up
with the number of copingstrategies in order just to stay
afloat.
Most people don't have to doall these things.
But I feel like once you've gota mental illness, you're like
(23:13):
okay, it's just one more thingto think about.
Can you share with us some ofthose coping strategies that you
rely on, that you kind of go no, these are what help me stay
afloat.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sure, and I will point out, like you say, it can
feel exhausting, it can feeloverwhelming, and when you're
really in that illness it'simpossible, you know, and it's
unhelpful for someone to comealong and say, oh, just go for a
walk and you'll be right, it'sunhelpful and actually sometimes
not possible.
So my hope is that in havingthese conversations that people
(23:47):
catch these conditions and theseproblems before they get to the
point where it's really hard toput your feet on the floor in
the morning.
But for me now and this willsound like an exhausting laundry
list, but it's just the stuff Ihave to do so I do take
medication and I've got to saythere's people who don't think
(24:09):
that's the right thing to do.
It's working for me, baby, andI don't want to go back to where
I was Um, the number of women,older women, who've come up to
me after my chats and said thankyou for saying that about
medication, because I've beenmade to feel very ashamed about
it.
So no, I'm sorry, it's working.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
You do it.
Um, I want to jump in here andjust confirm that I fully,
wholeheartedly agree thatmedication can take, give you
what feels like a lifeline, canhelp you feel like you are
finally able to hold onto aflotation device so you do not
feel like you are drowning.
And if that's what, just whatyou need to make to balance out
your, your chemical composition,and it's just one of the coping
strategies you need, then Idon't think we should let that
shame and the stigma get in theway.
(24:53):
I've used medication.
You do.
It is a lot more normal thanyou probably think.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, so medication meditation.
So I go to bed with headphoneson every night and listen to a
meditation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And some days I assume that's easier than other
days.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
If it's a day where I can't cope and I think I'm not
going to focus, what I do is Ifind, and it's, you know, in a
practical sense.
Insight Timer is one of theapps that's free and it's got
hundreds of thousands of things.
So if I don't think my brain isready to find anything, I just
put on something that's gotbinaural beats or solfeggio
tones for healing or whatever,and that requires no effort from
me and it's just putting thingsinto my brain that alter my
(25:35):
brainwaves, calm everything downand help me to sleep.
So it's like soothing, it'slovely and it's healthy.
You know, it's good for you.
I swim, so I swim in the ocean.
Obviously on book tour.
I'm missing that enormously.
I go to the gym and I do that afew times a week and literally
only a few weeks ago I had amental shift where I stopped
(25:57):
thinking of it as something I'vegot to jam in between all my
obligations for the day and justsaid you know what, this is one
of my obligations for the day,so I'm not going to race there,
I'm not going to drop, you know,the massage chair at the end
because I'm in a hurry to gethome, and so I'm not going to
race there.
I'm not going to drop, you know, the massage chair at the end
because I'm in a hurry to gethome and start dinner.
I'm not going to, I'm going togive it its own space in the day
and all of a sudden it becameeasier because it's just one of
(26:19):
the things that needs to getdone and so I can relax into it.
I can enjoy it.
I'm not, I'm going to be wheremy feet are and enjoy that
moment and it does becomeenjoyable.
Trust me, if I can enjoy it,anyone can enjoy it.
I do art now, so I get back.
I'm back into my music and mypainting and all the things that
(26:40):
used to bring me joy as a kidare an important part of my day.
And if I'm starting to feelanxious or stressed or depressed
and I have a look at what I'vebeen up to quite often that's
what's gone by the wayside andalso prioritise my family.
My three-year-old granddaughtercan bring me up so
(27:01):
comprehensively, quickly,completely and utterly that she
is like a drug.
You know, I see her and myheart lifts.
I am so happy.
You know she's beautiful.
And babies and mindfulness man.
What they can teach you aboutbeing in the present moment is
phenomenal If you can get a holdof somebody's kid and just
(27:22):
observe them for a bit.
They are so good at mindfulness.
They don't care what happenedthis morning.
They couldn't give a rat what'sgoing to happen next.
They're're just, they'replaying with the blocks or
they're crunching the leaves.
They might stop crunching theleaves to look at a bird.
Go by, then they're back to theleaves, they are in their
moments and um.
So she is my greatest teacherat the moment.
(27:42):
So those are those, and, ofcourse, nutrition.
Obviously I don't drink, um,and I'm trying to eat better.
You know, when you stopdrinking and this is just the
truth you eat a lot more sugarfor a little while and
eventually I had to sort of go.
Well, you know, it's been agood long while since I've drank
.
I probably need to say goodbyeto this much sugar.
(28:04):
I haven't quit sugar, but I'dreplaced one thing, replaced a
coping strategy.
Yeah, for a little while, butthat's a lot easier to wean off
of, because it's not amind-altering substance like
alcohol is.
I mean, it is to a degree,obviously, but it won't knock
(28:24):
you out after you eat a wholeblock of chocolate.
It won't put you to sleep.
Actually I know because I tried.
You eat a whole block ofchocolate and it won't put you
to sleep.
Actually I know because I tried, yeah, so keeping.
I've always liked good food andfresh food and food that's made
from scratch, so that's not beena problem.
But, yeah, just making sure Ikeep that in check.
So those are the things.
(28:45):
Those are the things.
There's the physical things andI still see my psychologist.
She's been a massive part ofthis whole journey for me.
So you know it's, it's there'smental work, there's physical
work, there's emotional work.
There's, you know, there'sremembering things, having to
remember things over and overagain.
Oh yeah, that's right.
You know I've got to do.
(29:05):
I've got to have creative timein my week.
I've got to have a little bitof solitude here and there in my
week.
It's just got to happen.
That's maybe why I'm feelinglike this.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
And I know that, as I said when I opened the book,
tour is a particularly gruellingtime.
It is a very tough time, sohopefully you can get back to
all those things that bring andspark that joy for you.
Julie, it's funny because inyour book you kind of have this
mention to this idea that youwere never meant to be famous,
you were never meant to be thissuperstar that you turned out to
(29:36):
, and you talk about how you'regoing to use it to do good and
turn it into action, and I thinkyou very much do.
And also I want to say that,speaking to you, it doesn't feel
like a surprise to me.
It's very obvious to me how youare as influential as you are,
because you are switched on, youare smart, you are so warm and
it's easy to fall in love withyou.
Thank you, thank you forsharing your book with us.
(30:00):
Your Time Starts Now is nowavailable for you to buy, to
read, to devour, and I reallythink that you will.
I've loved reading this and,julie, I've loved speaking to
you, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Thank you so much, Lindy.
I really appreciate you givingme your time.
I was raised with.
You know you shouldn't eat fatand you shouldn't.
You know those bloody puffyrice cake things with cottage
cheese, like absolutelysoul-destroying stuff.
I had a horrible relationshipwith food All through my life.
I've gone you know what this isunhealthy.
I'm not doing well drinkingthis much.
(00:24):
I'm going to stop.
I've got to have creative timein my week.
I've got to have a little bitof solitude here and there in my
week.
It's just got to happen.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
You may have first heard of Julie Goodwin when she
captured our hearts as the firstever winner of MasterChef
Australia.
I know I watched the entireseries and fell in love with her
then, and since then she hasbecome a household name in
Australia.
Everyone knows her and verymuch known for her warmth, her
personality, her down-to-earthcooking style and very, very
(00:59):
delicious recipes.
In fact, her first book, ourFamily Table, went immediately
to number one, where it stayedfor over 10 weeks, and it's now
sold over 200,000 copies, whichmakes it one of Australia's
largest selling cookbooks ever.
But behind her smile andlaughter, julie has struggled
with depression and anxiety, aswell as addiction and trauma,
(01:21):
and she shares her storycandidly and beautifully in her
new book your Time Starts Now,which I think is a spectacular
read, a spectacular memoir forany person, and I do highly
recommend.
I'm lucky enough to sit downwith Julie and ask her some
questions, but hey, if you'renew here to the podcast, my name
is Lindy Cohen.
(01:42):
Welcome to no Wellness Wankery.
As a dietician and nutritionist, I'm here to help you be
healthy without the nonsense,without the wellness wankery
that makes it so tricky for usto just eat healthily, and eat
when we feel hungry and stopwhen we feel full, and all those
things we know we'd like to bebetter at, and I'm going to help
you do that with some intuitiveeating tips to help you eat
more mindfully and with lessguilt and less shame.
(02:04):
Now it's time to talk to Julie.
Well, julie, welcome to theshow.
I'm very, very happy to haveyou here.
Thanks, lindy.
I thought your book a memoiryour Time Starts Now was truly.
It was breathtaking.
It was raw, it was beautiful,it was hard at times, and I just
want to say thank you forwriting it, because what you do
(02:26):
is you share your highs and yourlows and I, just before we get
into it, I want to talk aboutthat book promotion period,
which I know you are in thethroes of at the moment, and I
think one of those hard thingswhen you've written a book that
is as vulnerable as this memoiris you have to rehash your very
hard, tricky stories sometimesto people who have like just
gotten a press release of likewhat your book is about and
(02:46):
haven't taken the time to likeunderstand it.
How has that felt?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Look, in all honesty, it's really nice to actually
start an interview with someoneacknowledging that they've read
the book, because it is hard tohave the sort of conversations
around it with an interviewerwho hasn't, and who may have
only read the press release andonly has those little same
bullet points that everyone elsehas.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So thank you, thank you for reading it, you used to
keep getting asked the exactsame question and giving the
exact same answer.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, but the thing that obviously it was a hard
thing to write but I wasn'tprepared for how hard it was to
release, actually At the verystart.
You know the very firstinterview that came out, you
know the tabloid media they gothold of like a really salacious
headline and that came thisclickbaity thing and they put up
pictures of my face, sort of inugly crying mode from
(03:36):
MasterChef a few years ago, andI just thought, oh my God, what
have I done?
But being on book tour has beenvery healing because I'm going
face to face with rooms full ofpeople who come up and meet me
afterwards and I can forgetabout all that tabloid crap
because it's so unimportant inthe face of the conversations
that I'm having with real lifepeople.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, and the conversation you're having in
this book, which is spectacularand I would like everyone
listening to read it.
What it is is you're sharingthe vulnerability and I think we
have this fear that once wetell people our darkest moments,
the things that we feel thedeepest shame around and you
reveal a lot of those moments inthis book I think we think that
people are going to judge usand think less of us, and yet
(04:18):
what I think happens is theexact opposite.
It's by sharing our shamestories that we actually help
everyone else go.
Oh, we can sigh in reliefbecause we realize it's not just
us, it's not just us whocarries around these really
heavy, imperfect moments.
So that's what I took away.
Is that you kind of?
In this book, you're giving uspermission to be human?
It's the vulnerability for methat I think makes this book
(04:40):
pretty special.
Did it feel that way writingthis book?
Did it feel like you werealleviating that shame?
Was this book cathartic?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, look, in many ways it was, and I'm still
working through whether it'sbeen a cathartic process, but
it's becoming more so, like Isay, as I meet people and hear
other people's stories.
Writing it was freaking brutal.
It was really hard.
I relied on my psychologist tohelp me through some of it.
I had to have some really hardconversations, you know, because
(05:12):
this is not just me telling mystory.
This is publishing a book that'sgoing to go out into the world.
It's got things about myparents in there and it's got,
you know, things about otherpeople, and I don't like to tell
other people's stories, but inthe telling of my story I have
to touch on other people, youknow.
So I've had to speak to some ofthose people and say this is
going to impact you as well.
(05:33):
But you know, my parents havebeen so gracious about the whole
thing, which has blown my mind,because you know they're
boomers, right, and you knowboomers don't air our dirty
laundry and it's the whole thatculture that we, you know, stiff
up a lip and soldier on and andwe don't talk about the hard
(05:53):
stuff and we don't talk aboutthe, the, you know, the undainty
stuff, um, so I'm really proudof them for just saying you know
what the world has changed andwe wish there'd been more
support back when you needed it,when you're a kid, when you're
a teenager, even as a young mum.
You know that's now 28 yearsago, holy hell.
So you know there is bettersupport now.
(06:16):
But this is in the writing ofthis book, lindy.
So I mean, we all know thatwe're all talking more about
mental health and we're alltalking, you know, same with
what you do.
We're talking more abouthealthy diet, culture and all
that sort of stuff instead ofshaming people.
But I think where we need toland a lot of us is to give
ourselves permission to havethat conversation about
ourselves.
So I don't know anyone whowouldn't say are you OK?
(06:38):
And if somebody said to me, no,I'm not, it would be what can I
do?
But how many of us are willingto say I am struggling?
You know, we've got to let goof years and years and years of
conditioning, of count yourblessings.
Always be grateful.
There's always someone worseoff than you.
All of that is true, all of thatis valid and perspective is
(07:00):
important.
But we also need to be able tosay yeah, all of that is true
and I am grateful and I do havea roof over my head and I've got
a beautiful family and I havemy physical health.
Whatever it is that you have tobe grateful for, however, I am
struggling.
I can't cope.
I feel sad too often.
I can't stop crying at themoment, I can't feel joy in the
(07:21):
things that used to bring me joy.
I don't feel a connection withthe people around me.
We have got to be able to letgo of all the shaming that comes
from the outside, from theinternet, from the first world
problems.
Crowd and say I haveperspective, I have gratitude, I
count blessings and still I'mhaving a struggle and I need
(07:43):
help.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So it's having better conversations, and sometimes
very hard conversations, withthe people closest to us, which
I think feels incredibly brave.
You know that's the irony.
You know we've been told thathaving a mental illness means
you're weak and so you must hideit.
But actually that is the kindof way where we're slinking off
and not confronting, whereas thesaying I'm not okay.
That is a very hard thing andit actually takes a very brave
(08:05):
person to be able to do that itdoesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I wish it didn't, you know.
I wish there wasn't thatfeeling of shame.
I'm trying to normalize it.
In my own household used to be.
We'd sit around the dinnertable and we'd go around the
table asking highlight of theday, and I loved that because no
matter how shitty a day they'vehad, they've got to think of
something good about it.
And it was very distressing tome how few times it was dinner,
(08:31):
you know.
But then, after I went throughall of this, I'm like that's not
the only thing.
I need to be teaching theseboys that they need to look for
the positive.
I also need to teach them thatthey're allowed to say when
they're struggling.
So now we still do highlight ofthe day, because it's still
important to look for the goodand to feel that gratitude.
But then we go around where'syour head at?
And that's where they get tosay you know what?
(08:54):
I had a really bad day at work.
My boss was hard on me today.
I don't think it was fair andwe can either go into it or they
can say I don't really want totalk about it, but that's why
I'm a bit quiet at dinner, youknow.
So the whole family gets to bea little bit aware of where
we're all sitting in our ownbrain, and so I've got three
(09:14):
young adult men who areabsolutely comfortable talking
about where their head's at, youknow.
So there's no shame around that, and I no longer say no, no, no
.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I don't want to hear that, I just want to hear the
highlight.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You know there's learning for me too.
I'm the product of my parents,they are the product of their
parents, and you know we've gotto.
When we know better, we got todo better.
That's what I'm trying to crackopen, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Amen, and it's also realizing that your parents were
raised in a certain way andthey handed down to you the best
blueprints that they were given.
They probably made a wholebunch of improvements based on
how they were raised.
In a way, it helps us toforgive the little things that
may have happened in ourchildhood to go.
You really were doing your best, you really did have my best
interest in heart and this wasdone to you in a worse way, and
(10:01):
so every generation we arehelping to change this so that,
I mean, it sounds like the waythat you've raised your boys
this is what you know we'retalking to parents these days
about is asking this how do youhave better conversations around
it?
And I think this is a very,very tangible example.
Also, this prioritizationaround the dinner table.
This is a very important thingto me because it is a meeting
place.
It is more than just food.
(10:22):
Food is always just more thanjust food, isn't it?
And I want to talk to you aboutyour relationship with food.
You entered the MasterChefkitchen as a home cook.
You didn't have any formaltraining and, in fact, that was
kind of what was so spectacularto watch you.
It's like I think many peoplelistening, watched you in real
time.
Through that experience, fellin love with you is that we felt
(10:42):
akin to you.
You were everyone's favoritefrom the beginning and then
you've gone on to just do allthese incredible things.
You've opened a cooking school,you're a radio host, you wrote
bestselling books.
Can you tell me a little bitabout, I guess, your
relationship with foodthroughout all of this?
Because food is something thatcan be very healing and it
sounds like to me that the wayyou use food these days is it's
(11:04):
a creative outlet, it issomething that brings you joy,
it's a healthy coping strategy.
Can you talk to me about that,certainly.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I grew up in the 80s, teenagers throughout the 80s,
and the diet culture then wasout of control.
My mum used to go to the KiloCounters Club, which was like
Pavo Weight Watchers andwhatever diet she was on, we
were all on.
So we had some pretty sketchyexperiences eating some of her
(11:34):
diet food.
But I know I was raised with,you know, you shouldn't eat fat
and you shouldn't you know,those bloody puffy rice cake
things were with cottage cheese,like absolutely soul-destroying
stuff and and a horrible.
I had a horrible relationshipwith food and, uh, you know,
finish your plate becausethere's children starving in
Africa, all of that kind ofstuff.
So I, you know, and all love tomy mum.
(11:57):
You know her mum was raised inthe Depression.
She was born at the very end ofWorld War II.
There was scarcity, there was alot going on then that's not
going on now, but I tried toflip that.
So my boys have never beenforced to finish their plate and
generally my philosophy is thatthe food goes in the middle of
the table and you take what youwant.
So I'm not serving up theseheaping plates to everyone and
(12:19):
then forcing it down them.
You take what you want.
I do say to them you've got toeat all the colours, and I also.
Our house rule and it was just arule was you don't have to like
it and you don't have to finishit, but you do have to taste it
, and they sort of took that onboard, and I know that it's not
(12:40):
that simple for everybody.
Those are the rules that I'vesort of changed from my
childhood, but my beliefs aroundfood.
So you know, lindy, I cook withbutter and I cook with joy and
we eat fried things sometimes.
And you know, for me, if youmake it from scratch, you know
exactly what's in it.
So if you've got a particulardietary, you can make
(13:00):
adjustments to a recipe to suitwhat you need.
If your doctor's told you tolower your sodium intake, you
eat something homemade.
You lower the sodium that youput into it.
You can't do that with foodthat you go out to eat or that
you buy in.
That's my contribution tohealth.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I think it's spot on, because I think you have to
have a certain degree of trustwith food in order to go.
I'm allowed to cook and I'mallowed to cook foods that
aren't in a meal plan.
I am allowed to cook in a waythat varies from this perfect
one version of health that I'vebeen given, and I think cooking
is like there's no better way tobe connected to your food than
by cooking what it is, and weused to do this thing where we'd
(13:38):
like bake a cake from scratchand it was this beautiful, like
connected process and that hasbeen.
You know, we've been told thatthat's not okay, but I think
there's.
I think that's wholesome andbeautiful and there's time and
place for all of that.
And something where I think, ifyou're raising kids, where
you're cooking healthy foods,less healthy foods, all in the
same sphere, and we're allconnected around the kitchen, I
think that's health to me.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh look, I think there's unhealthy eating.
But I think that food itself ifyou're talking about natural
food, the way our grandparentsused to grow it, prepare it and
all that sort of stuff fooditself isn't bad.
I think sometimes the way weuse it as a crutch or as
self-medicating, that can becomeproblematic.
But for me, food is at thecentre of everything important
in our lives.
It's at the wedding, it's atthe funeral, it's at the
(14:26):
christening, it's at thebirthday party, it's at the
barbecue, the weekend gatheringwhat are we bringing?
What do you want to bring?
What do you want to bring?
It's at the heart of everydinner time.
So for me and this will come asa surprise, I'm sure, to a lot
of people the food is secondaryto the act of gathering.
So the reason I like to cookgood food is, you're right, it's
(14:47):
a creative outlet for me andit's one that contributed to my
family.
It's not like painting oranything where I had to feel
sort of guilty and selfish to doit.
I'm letting go of that, by theway, but you know, I could be
creative and it was contributingto my family.
The reason I like to make goodfood is because it made them
happy to come to the table, youknow, and they still are happy
to come to the table.
(15:08):
I've still got two of themliving at home and the third one
lives five minutes away and weeat together a lot.
So my plan for world dominationin that sense has been well
executed and they're happy tocome to the table.
But once I've got them there,the food is secondary to the
conversation, it's secondary tothe connection, it's secondary
to the.
It is the team meeting and ifyou've got a business, you know
(15:30):
that the team meeting is prettycrucial part of that business's
culture.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I mean, that's what's important, right, you know, not
all the the fandangled thingswe think of success, but that
connection.
Can we talk about copingstrategies for a moment, because
my specialty is in people whofeel like they use food as a
coping strategy, as something toget through the day.
There are lots of differentcoping strategies out there.
One of those, you know somepeople overexercise, some people
are addicted to gambling overshopping, whatever it is.
(15:57):
And can we talk about alcoholas well?
And in this book you talk aboutyour relationship with alcohol,
how it got to the point whereyou found you were going for a
glass of wine and it became ahabit.
And then, at some point whendid you realize that your
relationship with alcohol wasn'tserving you?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Oh, look, in all honesty, I've realized that on
and off over the yearsthroughout my life, you know,
I've got to a point where I'vethought, yeah, this is not great
.
And I've stopped on and offthroughout my whole life, but
this time around it was just apart of this whole toxic mess
that I was in, and I guess therealisation that it was like a
(16:36):
proper problem was when I wentto stop and I couldn't.
So all through my life I'vegone.
You know what this is unhealthy.
I'm not doing well drinkingthis much.
I'm going to stop and I couldstop.
This time around I literallycouldn't sleep unless I'd had
wine to stop my brain and itjust got out of control.
(17:00):
And, yeah, I mean I would loveto have been one of those people
who took up over exercising.
I'm sure that there's peoplewho do that, who don't love it,
but there's not the socialstigma attached to exercising
too much that there is todrinking too much, um, or eating
too much, you know, um,self-medicating with sugar or
with you know.
So, yeah, it was doing me amassive disservice and it has
(17:25):
all my life.
In all honesty, I'm not one ofthose.
I'm engineered for it to be aproblem for me it's you know,
there's science behind the genesof the whole thing and I'm
certain that there's geneticpredisposition, and so that
doesn't help and my personalityis kind of all or nothing.
I'm not a by halves sort ofperson.
(17:47):
So if I do something I go outhard on it and I always say
that's why I'm grateful I'venever been offered an illicit
drug in my whole life becauseI'd be dead.
I just have no doubt.
I'm just not someone who can gooh that was nice, so I'll leave
it at a little bit.
I'm like oh that was nice, somore will be nicer, and a lot
more will be a lot nicer, Sure.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Exactly, I always think, with alcohol.
I've recently not been drinkingnot drinking much for a year and
a half at least now because Ijust like my brain a whole lot
better when I don't drinkalcohol.
I like my life a whole lotbetter when I don't drink
alcohol, and that's just what Ifound for me, which requires you
to do a little bit of anexperiment in addition to
(18:32):
creating a life that you don'tneed to flee from, and I think
this is perhaps the thing that'skind of underestimated a little
bit, where we kind of do thesecoping strategies.
We're like cool, I'm going totry the little tips and the
tricks, but it's also doing thework which I think you have
consistently done going totherapy, speaking to
psychologists, psychiatrists,doing the hard stuff so that at
the same time, you're usingthese coping strategies but
(18:52):
you're also doing the hard workto kind of create a life that
you feel like you don't need totake alcohol so you can fall
asleep to quiet your brain.
You're doing that hard work.
Can you talk to me a bit abouthow you've come to feel about
things like talk therapy?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Well, you know, I was kind of forced into it.
I went like all the way to thebottom before I, you know, you
say willingness to do the work Ididn't want to acknowledge
anything.
I didn't want to acknowledgeanything.
I didn't want to acknowledge amental health condition, I
didn't want to stop drinking, Ididn't want to say there was a
(19:30):
problem, I just wanted to feelbetter and I couldn't.
And it became a life and deathsituation and I was taken to the
hospital.
It became a life and deathsituation and I was taken to the
hospital and so I was kind offorced into a situation where it
was like, okay, nothing I'mdoing is working, I've just got
(19:51):
to surrender to other people whoknow better than me and just,
bloody will do it, you know.
And so I did.
The pieces of the puzzle fellinto place slowly and one at a
time, but that taught therapyabout having to heal certain
things and process some oldtraumas and go through all of
that.
What that has meant is that Idon't need to drink now because
(20:11):
the parts of me that wanted tobe numb, that I needed to shut
up, don't need to be numbanymore and they don't need to
be silenced anymore and thatsounds a little bit airy-fairy
and out there, but it's just thetruth and it's a, it's a
process and it's one that I'llprobably be going through, um,
hopefully, in ever depletingcircles for the rest of my life.
(20:34):
You know, um, you've just gotto keep doing the work, the
physical side of it, the mentalside of it, the the emotional
side of it.
That you know all the things,that all those memes on facebook
that you roll your eyes andscroll on by until they mean
something to you.
Oh, my god, you cannot pourfrom an empty cup.
That butterfly loaded pink thingin my face was right you know,
(20:55):
so there comes a point where yousort of go maybe I shouldn't be
annoyed by those things andquestion as to why they annoy me
, and maybe it's because I needto hear it.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, you have to hear it.
The algorithm realizes that youhave to hear it.
Listen, lady, I heard aconversation where you were
speaking to Jessica Rowe and youwere talking about.
You gave this analogy about aGerman shepherd and in the
relationship of talking abouttrauma and addiction, do you
mind sharing that with us?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Sure.
So there's a statement that isNot all dogs are German
Shepherds, but all GermanShepherds are dogs, and that is
a statement I've heard, not inrelation to those things, but
what occurred to me and this iswhen I was doing work on alcohol
addiction, when I was in arehab that all of the people
that I met who were strugglingwith one addiction or another,
(21:45):
every single one of them hadsome kind of trauma from their
past all different kinds oftrauma, not all the same trauma.
And what occurred to me wasthat there are people who've
suffered trauma that don't endup with an addiction.
Right, we all know people whoaren't addicted to anything that
have had traumas, but everysingle person with an addiction
(22:05):
that I have met has a trauma.
So all German Shepherds aredogs.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
This is beautiful to me because I mean, it is backed
up very much by the research.
What we know is, withdisordered eating and eating
disorders, we know it's a copingstrategy.
It's not really about the food,as you said, not never really
about the food.
It is a way of coping and thereis this very clear relationship
between going through traumaand using food as an addiction,
as a coping strategy, and Idon't think I talk about that
(22:30):
enough and I think it's a veryclear relationship in the
research to say that if you'rekind of going I have experienced
some real hardships in my life,some trauma, and you have
notices coming up for you withfood then I think it is very
worthwhile exploring.
And whether or not you'reforced or you willingly go, I
think getting that talk therapyand doing that hard work is very
important.
In addition to the copingstrategies which you now sound
(22:51):
like you've got a bucket load of, I have lots of coping
strategies to deal with myanxiety and my shtick, including
I need to go for walks, I needto do certain things.
Sometimes it feels kind ofexhausting having to keep up
with the number of copingstrategies in order just to stay
afloat.
Most people don't have to doall these things.
But I feel like once you've gota mental illness, you're like
(23:13):
okay, it's just one more thingto think about.
Can you share with us some ofthose coping strategies that you
rely on, that you kind of go no, these are what help me stay
afloat.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sure, and I will point out, like you say, it can
feel exhausting, it can feeloverwhelming, and when you're
really in that illness it'simpossible, you know, and it's
unhelpful for someone to comealong and say, oh, just go for a
walk and you'll be right, it'sunhelpful and actually sometimes
not possible.
So my hope is that in havingthese conversations that people
(23:47):
catch these conditions and theseproblems before they get to the
point where it's really hard toput your feet on the floor in
the morning.
But for me now and this willsound like an exhausting laundry
list, but it's just the stuff Ihave to do so I do take
medication and I've got to saythere's people who don't think
(24:09):
that's the right thing to do.
It's working for me, baby, andI don't want to go back to where
I was Um, the number of women,older women, who've come up to
me after my chats and said thankyou for saying that about
medication, because I've beenmade to feel very ashamed about
it.
So no, I'm sorry, it's working.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
You do it.
Um, I want to jump in here andjust confirm that I fully,
wholeheartedly agree thatmedication can take, give you
what feels like a lifeline, canhelp you feel like you are
finally able to hold onto aflotation device so you do not
feel like you are drowning.
And if that's what, just whatyou need to make to balance out
your, your chemical composition,and it's just one of the coping
strategies you need, then Idon't think we should let that
shame and the stigma get in theway.
(24:53):
I've used medication.
You do.
It is a lot more normal thanyou probably think.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, so medication meditation.
So I go to bed with headphoneson every night and listen to a
meditation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
And some days I assume that's easier than other
days.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
If it's a day where I can't cope and I think I'm not
going to focus, what I do is Ifind, and it's, you know, in a
practical sense.
Insight Timer is one of theapps that's free and it's got
hundreds of thousands of things.
So if I don't think my brain isready to find anything, I just
put on something that's gotbinaural beats or solfeggio
tones for healing or whatever,and that requires no effort from
me and it's just putting thingsinto my brain that alter my
(25:35):
brainwaves, calm everything downand help me to sleep.
So it's like soothing, it'slovely and it's healthy.
You know, it's good for you.
I swim, so I swim in the ocean.
Obviously on book tour.
I'm missing that enormously.
I go to the gym and I do that afew times a week and literally
only a few weeks ago I had amental shift where I stopped
(25:57):
thinking of it as something I'vegot to jam in between all my
obligations for the day and justsaid you know what, this is one
of my obligations for the day,so I'm not going to race there,
I'm not going to drop, you know,the massage chair at the end
because I'm in a hurry to gethome, and so I'm not going to
race there.
I'm not going to drop, you know, the massage chair at the end
because I'm in a hurry to gethome and start dinner.
I'm not going to, I'm going togive it its own space in the day
and all of a sudden it becameeasier because it's just one of
(26:19):
the things that needs to getdone and so I can relax into it.
I can enjoy it.
I'm not, I'm going to be wheremy feet are and enjoy that
moment and it does becomeenjoyable.
Trust me, if I can enjoy it,anyone can enjoy it.
I do art now, so I get back.
I'm back into my music and mypainting and all the things that
(26:40):
used to bring me joy as a kidare an important part of my day.
And if I'm starting to feelanxious or stressed or depressed
and I have a look at what I'vebeen up to quite often that's
what's gone by the wayside andalso prioritise my family.
My three-year-old granddaughtercan bring me up so
(27:01):
comprehensively, quickly,completely and utterly that she
is like a drug.
You know, I see her and myheart lifts.
I am so happy.
You know she's beautiful.
And babies and mindfulness man.
What they can teach you aboutbeing in the present moment is
phenomenal If you can get a holdof somebody's kid and just
(27:22):
observe them for a bit.
They are so good at mindfulness.
They don't care what happenedthis morning.
They couldn't give a rat what'sgoing to happen next.
They're're just, they'replaying with the blocks or
they're crunching the leaves.
They might stop crunching theleaves to look at a bird.
Go by, then they're back to theleaves, they are in their
moments and um.
So she is my greatest teacherat the moment.
(27:42):
So those are those, and, ofcourse, nutrition.
Obviously I don't drink, um,and I'm trying to eat better.
You know, when you stopdrinking and this is just the
truth you eat a lot more sugarfor a little while and
eventually I had to sort of go.
Well, you know, it's been agood long while since I've drank
.
I probably need to say goodbyeto this much sugar.
(28:04):
I haven't quit sugar, but I'dreplaced one thing, replaced a
coping strategy.
Yeah, for a little while, butthat's a lot easier to wean off
of, because it's not amind-altering substance like
alcohol is.
I mean, it is to a degree,obviously, but it won't knock
(28:24):
you out after you eat a wholeblock of chocolate.
It won't put you to sleep.
Actually I know because I tried.
You eat a whole block ofchocolate and it won't put you
to sleep.
Actually I know because I tried, yeah, so keeping.
I've always liked good food andfresh food and food that's made
from scratch, so that's not beena problem.
But, yeah, just making sure Ikeep that in check.
So those are the things.
(28:45):
Those are the things.
There's the physical things andI still see my psychologist.
She's been a massive part ofthis whole journey for me.
So you know it's, it's there'smental work, there's physical
work, there's emotional work.
There's, you know, there'sremembering things, having to
remember things over and overagain.
Oh yeah, that's right.
You know I've got to do.
(29:05):
I've got to have creative timein my week.
I've got to have a little bitof solitude here and there in my
week.
It's just got to happen.
That's maybe why I'm feelinglike this.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
And I know that, as I said when I opened the book,
tour is a particularly gruellingtime.
It is a very tough time, sohopefully you can get back to
all those things that bring andspark that joy for you.
Julie, it's funny because inyour book you kind of have this
mention to this idea that youwere never meant to be famous,
you were never meant to be thissuperstar that you turned out to
(29:36):
, and you talk about how you'regoing to use it to do good and
turn it into action, and I thinkyou very much do.
And also I want to say that,speaking to you, it doesn't feel
like a surprise to me.
It's very obvious to me how youare as influential as you are,
because you are switched on, youare smart, you are so warm and
it's easy to fall in love withyou.
Thank you, thank you forsharing your book with us.
(30:00):
Your Time Starts Now is nowavailable for you to buy, to
read, to devour, and I reallythink that you will.
I've loved reading this and,julie, I've loved speaking to
you, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Thank you so much, Lindy.
I really appreciate you givingme your time.
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