Feel exhausted for not being able to live up to the society’s standards?
Join us for an inspiring conversation with Kate DeAraugo, the 2005 Australian Idol winner, as she opens up about her ongoing journey to find balance and self-compassion in life.
Kate shares her remarkable path from fame to personal challenges. Starting with childhood struggles with disordered eating and battling substance addiction in the public eye, she reveals how motherhood became a turning point, shifting her focus from self-obsession to nurturing.
We also delve into topics like food addiction and medications such as Ozempic for managing eating disorders. While they can provide temporary relief, we discuss the challenges that arise when you stop using them.
And if you haven't already, tune in to Kate's podcast "Why Do I Feel This Way," where she candidly discusses her life experiences, offering hope and a supportive space for others.
Want to feel more in control around food? Check out my Stop Struggling With Food Guide, currently on sale for 40% off.
You’ll also find 50 of my favourite recipes to get you inspired!
Get my Free 5 Day Course to help you stop binge and emotional eating.
Looking for more support to feel in control around food? I'd love to support you in my Binge Free Academy.
Come follow me on the gram at @nude_nutritionist (no nude pics, sorry).
Want to share some feedback or have an idea for an episode, I'd LOVE to hear from you - hit me up at hello@lyndicohen.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I finally found recovery and found my way out of
that sort of nightmare and thatstorm, and I'm a little bit
over six and a half years clean.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I know once you hit the limelight, winning
Australian Idol, the pressureson your body image certainly
would have escalated.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I eat one too many blocks of chocolate or bits of
chocolate and I just go fuck itand I throw the whole day in the
bin.
And then I go into what I callthe last hurrah for me.
I'm just like right and I eatall the bad foods all the foods
that I consider bad, that I can,because tomorrow I'm never
going to eat them again.
And it's very much the samebehavior and the same mindset as
I had with drugs.
(00:38):
A lot of my things are justdriven by self-obsession.
I'm just thinking about myselfall the time, until I had a baby
.
You can't, you just can't thinkabout yourself all the time.
Your focus has to shift fromyourself to this little person
that you're wholly and solely incharge of.
That's been one of the greatestlessons for me.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh, hey you, and welcome to this week's episode
of the no Wellness Wankerypodcast.
I am your host, lindy Cohen, adietician, nutritionist, who
thinks life's way too short toobsess over every almond you eat
, don't you?
You've tried that and we knowit doesn't work.
So this podcast is all aboutrevealing the science, the real
stuff that you need to know, soyou don't waste your life on
that wellness nonsense thatdoesn't actually work.
(01:25):
And we talk about all thingslike body image and getting
recovery from disordered eating.
So if that sounds interestingto you, welcome to this podcast.
In today's episode, I'm going tobe speaking with Kate D'Agio.
Now, if you're an Australian,you're going to know her name.
You've probably heard of herbecause she rose to fame when
she won Australian Idol in 2005.
(01:45):
I was 15 at the time, very muchlooking up to her, and her
first single, maybe Tonight, wascertified platinum, and then
her second single also receivedplatinum status.
She was a big deal.
She was really going places.
But while her career washonestly soaring, doing so well,
she was facing significantstruggles with food and
substance addiction, includingdrugs and alcohol, which we are
(02:07):
going to talk about today.
Thankfully, she has come areally long way.
She was able to overcome heraddictions, which we are going
to talk about, and has now beenclean for six years.
She has a loving husband, an18-month-old baby boy, and she's
created a podcast called why DoI Feel this Way, which is a
really, really great listen.
She's created a podcast calledwhy Do I Feel this Way, which is
a really, really great listen.
I'm very excited for Kate toshare her story with us and
(02:28):
exactly where she's at and whereshe's going to from here.
Welcome to the podcast, kate.
Kate, welcome to the show.
Thanks, leni, thank you forhaving me.
I'm delighted to have you.
Honestly, I feel very, veryspecial to have you on here.
I watched you growing up we alldid and so I'm keen to hear a
(02:49):
little bit more about I don'tknow behind it all, because I
think we've seen a bit of thegloss.
You really transparently talkabout everything on Instagram,
on TikTok, so for anyone whodoesn't know your story, who's
first time here, can you tell usa little bit about your cliff
notes?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
your story.
Well, it's quite amulti-layered story but I'll
keep it as brief as I can.
You know it was a young girlalways struggled with my body
and my weight and my food fromas long as I can remember.
I reckon I first started eatingin a weird kind of way from
about the age of five, carriedthrough life struggling, dieting
pretty early, and then I wonthis television show called
(03:27):
Australian Idol and then I wentthrough a really public battle
with my weight and I was in that.
I grew up in that time of thoseearly 2000s where the idea of
what was beautiful was Kate Mossand if you weren't that, you
weren't it.
You know, there was just lotsof really big moments in my life
that really drove home andconfirmed that core messaging
and core belief of mine that mybody was shit and that I needed
(03:48):
to look different and that Ineeded to be better, to be
lovable and to be beautiful.
It eventually landed me, Ithink played a big part in me
finding myself fighting, youknow, a 14 year drug and alcohol
addiction and you know my bodyimage and all that was wrapped
up in that as well whilst tryingto manage a career and losing a
career and, you know, losingeverything else that goes with
that.
And then about six years ago, Ifinally found recovery and
(04:10):
found my way out of that sort ofnightmare and that storm and
I'm a little bit over six and ahalf years clean and I have a
beautiful, full life.
I have an 18 month old baby, abeautiful partner and you know
I'm very grateful that I have mylife back.
But, you know, waking up out ofthat shit show sorry, I hope I
can swear here I've got a bit ofa potty mouth you know was
(04:30):
still this core problem and coreissue that I'd had since I was
a little girl and that was, youknow, all these ridiculous
belief systems and ideas that Ihad about what was well and what
was healthy and what dietingwas and what balance was.
And actually I didn't have anyidea of what balance is and I
still struggle with it.
Balance isn't something I'mgood at.
And, yeah, the last six yearshas sort of been trying to do
(04:52):
that last big piece of work andwork out how to treat my body
with kindness and look after itand try and be realistic about
it too, and it's like I'mdefinitely getting better.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But it's been a battle and it's like I'm
definitely getting better, butit's been a battle and it's
incredibly tough because you andI a lot of us women we grew up
in a time where it was moresocially acceptable to have an
eating disorder, to under eat,to skip meals, to do incredibly
disordered things to our body,than it was to be at a slightly
heavier weight.
And I know, once you hit thelimelight, winning Australian
Idol, the pressures on your bodyimage certainly would have
(05:24):
escalated.
There was that comment fromKyle Sandilands.
Can you talk to me about thattime and what it felt like
coming into this going?
I didn't really like my bodythat much before, a bit of a
turbulent relationship, and nowI am one of the biggest pop
stars in Australia.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah.
So I guess that comment youknow the old famous comment and
at that moment I didn't realisemaybe the impact that it was
going to have on not just me butlots of other people.
And I guess by that point myrelationship with my body was
pretty messy and it wasn'thealthy or kind.
So what he said to me came asno surprise in a way.
(06:00):
It was kind of like oh yeah, Ikind of already knew that, like
I'm hideous, I'm gross, coverall this way.
It was kind of like, oh yeah, Ikind of already knew that, like
I'm hideous, I'm gross, coverall this up.
It was just a drive home for methat all the things that I'd
already thought about myselfwere true.
So it probably didn't shock meinitially, but I guess I've
certainly carried it with me.
But yeah, I think any well, Ican't talk for young girls of
this time, but I'm assuming it'sthe same.
You know, the relationship withour bodies and not just women
(06:23):
but men is it's very personaland there's so much shame can be
wrapped up in it, and I guessto do it on a public platform
took it into almost a traumatic.
I guess it was.
I read this somewhere recently.
It was like deaths by athousand paper cuts.
There was no one big massivetrauma, but it was just lots and
lots of little traumas thatadded up to, you know, a little
(06:43):
bit of PTSD about my body, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, and you know, we know with all the research
that with eating disorders andtrauma, there is such a clear
correlation between experiencingmoments of trauma and with
addiction.
It's all.
There's a lot of crossover.
Yeah, ken, I talk about.
You've had this viral TikTokthat you created that I loved,
loved, loved.
So basically, you are giving usa day in the life of someone
(07:10):
who experiences food noise, aconstant chitter, chatter of
what are we going to eat, howlong are we going to fast for?
Can I eat at 11am, peeking intothe fridge, coming in, coming
out.
Can you talk to me about yourexperience with food noise?
What's it, what it's been like?
And we're also going to talkabout Ozempic, so lead into it
as you like.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, I have had food noise for like I don't know
when.
I haven't had food noise likemy constant bargaining with
myself.
Food and how I'm going tobehave around.
Food is the very first thing Ithink of when I maybe before I
even open my eyes, when I openmy eyes to the last thing that I
talk to myself about before Igo to sleep and all the places
in between.
(07:50):
And it's just because I'vealways been forever chasing this
body that is unattainable forme.
I just am always on a diet orI'm always trying to.
There's always a goal I'mchasing and it's I just am
forever obsessed with food.
And even when and I've realizedthis recently even when I'm in
on a diet or successfullydieting, shall we say, it
doesn't the food noise isn't anybetter.
(08:11):
It's in fact louder, I think,because I'm constantly trying to
survive until the next mealthat I've allocated or that I'm
allowed, or the next caloriethat I can consume, and it is.
It's just that, from the minuteI wake up, right today's it
we're going to get through today, we're going to do it perfectly
, and then, if I can't reachthat goal that I've set, how can
I bargain with myself to makeit acceptable and then normally,
(08:32):
99.9% of the time, I hit apoint in the day where the
chatter gets too loud, I eat onetoo many blocks of chocolate or
bits of chocolate and I just gofuck it and I throw the whole
day in the bin.
And then I go into what I callthe last hurrah for me.
I'm just like right and I eatall the biscuits and all the
chocolate and all the dim simsand all the bad foods, all the
foods that I consider bad, thatI can, because tomorrow I'm
(08:54):
never going to eat them again.
And it's very much the samebehaviour and the same mindset
as I had with drugs.
You know it, as I had withdrugs.
It's that same thing of everyday getting to a certain point,
promising myself I'd bedifferent tomorrow and being
totally powerless the next dayover my behavior, despite my
best efforts.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Have you ever received treatment for binge
eating, binge eating disorderlike that?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
No, and I think it's fear.
I don't know why I haven't.
I'm certainly starting to lookat it and go.
You know, I didn't expect thatI would be able to get recovery
in.
You know my addictions from thebig ones like drugs, alcohol,
gambling, yada, yada and maybewhy do I think that I'm going to
(09:37):
be able to do this without alittle bit of help?
And maybe it's not aboutnothing to do with my lack of
willpower or commitment tomyself or laziness or just
weakness?
It actually goes and runs a bitdeeper than that and maybe I
need to look at getting or not.
Maybe I definitely need to lookat getting some outside help.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, spot on Binge eating, which is my specialty as
a dietician, something Istruggled with for a decade.
That wholly controlled me.
It is one of those things ifleft untreated, it tends to get
worse, it doesn't get better andwe try harder and we just oh,
we're going to try and do thediet extra good tomorrow and
then the exact same thinghappens.
I got to the point where I wasbinge eating multiple times a
(10:15):
day.
What I've seen in recovery isrecovery for people can be quite
swift and it can also be a bitof a slow process, but every
little moment that you can getback in your binge recovery can
give you that sense of calm,more control.
It ain't easy.
It's a bloody slug, I'm notgoing to lie, I would sugarcoat
it, but that food noise doesreduce.
(10:36):
And you talked about on yourTikTok recently coming off
Ozempic and your experience withit and one of those benefits we
talk about with Ozempic and, bythe way, I'm not expressly for
or against Ozempic, I think I'mvery in the middle at the moment
, going listen, there's time usecase for us and one of the
benefits I've seen from peopleis a reduction in food noise and
this is one of those thingsthat you went.
(10:57):
Okay, wait, I had this chitter,chatter, constant noise, and
then it went.
This person who had been in mybrain the whole time suddenly
didn't exist in your brain.
What was that like?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It was amazing.
It was so peaceful and I guess,with that noise gone and that
chatter also instantly reallyreduced my anxiety levels.
You know what I mean.
I get anxious about failing andall of the stuff that comes
along with that.
You know, war at oneself withfood, like the anxiety level
(11:28):
some days can be so, which thenactually just drives me to eat
more anyway, you know, because Ithink I'm going to get some
kind of relief from eating, andI do for that mini second.
So, yeah, not only did it takeaway the food noise, but it made
my day-to-day life so much morepeaceful, and I'm not for nor
against it either.
I had to go off it for my ownpersonal reasons, um, you know,
(11:50):
which I'll discuss at some pointon my, on my platforms but I,
um, I'd never experiencedanything like that and I've had
all the things.
I've had full body lipo, I'vehad gastric sleeves, I've done
diet pills, I've done all ofanything, all the things you can
in fact get like the lot andit's the only thing I've ever
(12:11):
used that removed that noise.
For me it was magical.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Before putting you on Ozempic, was there any doctor,
any person who said to you hey,listen, you might have an
underlying eating disorder,disordered eating, happening
here.
Perhaps you want to gettreatment for it while you're
doing Ozempic?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
To a degree.
Look, I was on sexcender and Iknow they're slightly different,
but they're essentially thesame thing.
Look, my doctor made me gothrough a series of tests to
check my blood tests and thingslike that, to check my overall
wellness, and she did say look,what are you doing during this
time?
It was never a long-termdiscussion from my doctor.
(12:49):
It wasn't like this is youranswer forever?
Like, what are you going to dothrough this time while you're
on it to make your life better?
On the other end, when you comeoff it, to be honest, I
probably didn't do.
I was too busy enjoying thequiet.
I probably didn't do.
I was too busy just living mylife.
I probably didn't do the levelof work that I should have and
could have, because I forgotthat I needed to, because it was
(13:09):
so peaceful, but probably notto the degree that maybe there
should.
The discussion wasn't therethat maybe should have been.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Oh, that is such a very interesting point.
I mean the motivation toactually seek help when the
problem no longer exists cantotally dissolve.
So I fully understand, now thatyou put it like that, I fully
understand why nothing happens.
And now that you're noticing,kate, I have the food noises
returning.
I feel motivated again to kindof seek some kind of clarity
here.
I will just reinforce thatpracticing in a way that can
(13:40):
reduce binge eating cansignificantly reduce food noise.
Does it take it away?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think when you live ina world that thinks the most
impressive thing a woman can beis thin, you can get to a point
where you can totally removethat noise without some kind of
medical intervention.
I haven't seen that before, butyou can take it from feeling
deafening and overwhelming andconstant to being just every so
(14:02):
often, a food thought.
Like you know, the week beforeyour period you go oh, I've got
a few more food thought thanusual.
But it is kind of one of thosethings you can really breathe
through work, through resolve.
Yeah, so your relationship withfood right now, where are you
at?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
it's a day-to-day proposition.
I look like like addiction andyou know it's a bit heavy what
I'm about to say, but in alighthearted way, like I guess
food for me and the tricky thingI believe I have a disease of
addiction and that's a wholeother conversation for another
day Like I would get addicted tothe air if I thought it would
get me out of my feelings.
I truly believe that.
But I guess food is a behaviourand something that I have to do
(14:41):
.
I can't just remove food frommy life, and that's the heart.
If I could just be totallyabstinent from food, that might
be different for me.
But I guess having food of anykind in the house is a bit like
putting a bowl of drugs on mykitchen table and saying now you
can have a little bit, but onceyou've had a little bit and
it's the same kind of thing forme.
(15:02):
So once I start eating for theday, I often find that that's
when it really ramps up, if Ican.
For me at the moment, fastingto a certain point of the day
helps me keep a little bit morein control.
But I also know that that's nota long-term solution either.
But look, it's a day-to-dayproposition and it's certainly
something I'm starting toinvestigate and look and not
(15:25):
being so harsh on myself when Idon't behave the way that I
think I need to around food in aday and go.
We've got some work to do here,kate, but my language towards
myself is a lot more gentle thanit used to be, which is a big
achievement in itself.
That's a huge achievement.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
That is.
I mean so much of thatself-hate drives our binge
eating as well.
If you ever do want to talkabout binge eating, recovery,
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm already going to call you as soon as I finish
chatting here, hang on, help meout, I got your back.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Can we talk about substance use?
And I will say you're spot on.
I definitely think that thereis a difference between being
addicted to food and addicted tosubstances.
We need food to survive, can'tjust go cold turkey, and so we
do treat them quite differentlyin recovery.
Can you tell me about yourexperience with substance abuse?
When did it start and when didyou reach a point that you
(16:17):
thought there's no other way Ihave to get?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
out of this.
Yeah, I mean, it's not pretty.
I was a late starter with drugs.
I guess I drank, you know, thefirst time I ever got drunk.
I did it to excess, you know, Idrank 1.25 liter bottle of
bourbon and spewed all overmyself, cheated on my boyfriend
and got grounded.
So that's where it started, youknow.
But I didn't do it again for along time.
But by the time I met cocaine, Iwas within the music industry
(16:45):
and to, to be honest, beingoffered a line of coke was very,
you know, it was like beingoffered a beer, it was.
It was kind of not a look downupon thing.
Um, and you know, from themoment I met cocaine or drugs,
it was very quickly my solution.
It solved a lot of.
It solved the issues that I'dbeen trying to hide from and run
from and solve since I was alittle girl, and that was to
feel, to remove all myinhibitions and insecurities,
(17:07):
feel cool, feel accepted, feel apart of the cool kids and, more
importantly, it took away mydesire again to eat food when I
was using it.
So you know as much as I didn'trealize it in that moment, the
first time that I tried drugs,that I'd have essentially
changed the course and thedirection of my life forever.
Wouldn't a crystal ball bemarvellous?
(17:29):
But you know, it was really onfrom there and it just
progressed and it became as thatparticular drug didn't give me
the same relief as it once did.
You know, the drugs that I usechange, and the way that I use
them change, and the people thatI hung out with change, and it
progressed and it progressed andit progressed until, you know,
I met methamphetamines, whichessentially was the drug that
(17:50):
brought me to my knees and itreally solved all the problems
for me and, interestingly enough, in my career which I
eventually lost to drugs, but Ihad had a gastric sleeve and I
then, you know, really got stuckinto meth and essentially I was
the thinnest I'd ever been.
I was really about 64 kilos andI'd never been taken so
(18:10):
seriously and everybody aroundme was like you're doing a good
job, kate, keep doing whateverit is you're doing, you're
nailing it and and for me, likeinside, I was the sickest I'd
ever been, but I was gettingpraised for the way that I
looked.
So it was a really confusingtime and long story short, you
know, those last five years Ihad to use methamphetamines
(18:32):
every day just to function inthe world.
And I, you know, met a reallydangerous human that I spent a
lot of time with and one day Ijust looked at myself in the
mirror and I knew that if thingsdidn't change in that moment I
was going to die.
And unfortunately it had to getthere for me and that was where
my journey of recovery started.
(18:53):
And again, it wasn't easy andit was pretty brutal, but it was
life or death for me in the end.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And so you entered rehab at that point.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yep, yep, six and a bit years ago, yeah, I entered a
rehab in Melbourne and haven'tused a drug since.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
What was it that made you decide that this was?
I mean, I know you hit rockbottom, but how come no relapse?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
there Poor.
How come no relapse?
Because I did the.
I just knew.
I knew that if I went back out,I knew, look, I'm a drug addict
, so I'll never say there's nomore using in me, there's plenty
like.
There's plenty of that in me,like I know.
But I I don't know if I've evergot a day one of recovery again
, um, and I don't know if Ipicked up how long it would take
(19:37):
me if I'd ever make it back, um, and I just did the things that
I'd been taught in rehab to do.
Then I practiced them, Like I'ma big member of NA, narcotics
Anonymous, and I went to thesemeetings and I found a community
of people that understood meand we support each other and I
think that's such a big,important part for whatever you
(19:58):
are struggling with whether itbe food, alcohol, mental health,
whatever it might be I thinkfinding people that get you and
that you can talk to withoutjudgment is one of the biggest,
most important things to findingrecovery or sanity of any kind.
So yeah, I think it's just beenthe way.
I've worked a program andcontinued to work it and put my
recovery first is why I haven'trelapsed.
(20:19):
But I also know that if I don'tcontinue to do that, I'm only a
couple of dumb decisions awayfrom going backwards.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
You mentioned at the beginning of the chat that Kate
Moss was very much the idolgrowing up.
She was the epitome of beautyduring our time and very much
known for that heroin chic ideal.
You mentioned this idea ofactually taking drugs because it
took away the food noise.
It took away food as an issueas your body image became a
nullified thing, and I know formyself I did lots of unhealthy
(20:48):
things.
Similarly, whether it's takingdrugs or I started smoking all
the time, I start my morningwith energy drinks, sugar-free
energy drinks, anything I coulddo to try and take away that,
thinking about my food, thinkingabout my body, the constantness
of it, and so I think peoplethink you know body image is
this silly kind of frivolousidea, but actually it can really
(21:09):
drive a whole bunch of reallyunhealthy decisions that we make
for ourselves, particularly ina world that's glorifying
someone like Kate Moss's likethe epitome of beauty.
What would you say to someonewho was currently struggling,
whether it's with food or drugand alcohol substance abuse?
What would you say?
What would you say to someonewho was currently struggling,
whether it's with food or drugand alcohol substance abuse?
What would you say?
What would you want them?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
to know, I guess, that chasing that body that was
so far from realistic for me,like I had to.
Also when I got into recovery,I had to grieve this idea that I
was ever going to be a22-year-old supermodel for lots
of reasons.
By the time I got clean, I was32.
It didn't matter how muchlettuce or time I spent on a
(21:50):
treadmill, I was never going tobe a 22-year-old supermodel.
That just wasn't my life, whichwas a really hard pill for me
to swallow and a big grievingprocess.
But I think for me the core ofit all has always been that I
needed to be that way to belovable, and that was the belief
system that I created throughthe public, you know, through
media and what I was fed as ayoung girl and then what I
(22:11):
experienced firsthand within themusic industry in the public
eye.
But I think women can get tothat point without all that.
You know, I think, just mediaalone, and it was always about
somebody else being able to loveme for the body that I lived in
and that it was never going tobe possible and it's just simply
not true.
Like I have a partner who lovesme, no matter what I look like
and it's got nothing to do withthe way that my body is or what
(22:32):
jiggles or what doesn't jiggle,or what stretch mark or what
scar there is.
It's nothing.
Beauty doesn't come.
And I think the most importantlesson I learned through all of
it was I felt the same way aboutmy body and I've been 132 kilos
.
Look it up on the internet.
I've been 132 kilos and I'vebeen 65 kilos.
And I felt the same way aboutmy body and hated myself equally
(22:52):
at both ends of the spectrum.
And I think that it doesn'tmatter how many drugs you take
or how many diets you do, unlessyou do the inside work.
You're never going to lovewhat's on the outside anyway and
that's been my lesson in it.
Like, the drugs aren't going tofix it, the size of your genes
aren't going to fix it.
If you're chasing acceptance,it's an inside job.
(23:15):
It's nothing to do with whatanybody on the outside thinks.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
How did becoming a parent change you?
Well, hudson's now 18 months.
I found the postnatal phasereally tricky.
Becoming a mother, you just getthrown in life sacrifice
incredibly hard thing to do.
How's it been for you?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's certainly been one of the most humbling
experiences of my life.
I think it's also taught me howto not be so self-obsessed.
You know what I mean.
Like, also, a lot of my thingsare just driven by
self-obsession.
I'm just thinking about myselfall the time, until I had a baby
.
You can't you just can't thinkabout yourself all the time.
You know your focus has toshift from yourself to this
(24:00):
little person that you're whollyand solely in charge of.
I think that's been one of thegreatest lessons for me to just
get out of my own, just stopthinking about myself, and my
values and what I value aboutmyself, too, has changed.
I think I don't value expensiveclothes or all those things
have shifted.
But yeah, he's been a veryhumbling experience for me.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And just to finish up , what do you wish 15-year-old
you?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
knew.
Oh golly, I wish, I just wish Icould pick her up and scoop her
up and just take her throughall of that stuff and just
explain all of the things thatshe or you think are important
right now, in 15 years' time orhowever many years' time it is,
(24:45):
they just don't matter.
And I wish I could undo thoseideas that were so firmly
planted of what she needed to beto be okay in the world and
just show her that it was justso not right.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, well, I have no doubt that your son is going to
be given all those messagesthat I wish, 15 year old, you
was given.
Oh, bless your heart.
Hey, how can we find you?
Speaker 1 (25:10):
follow along, let's see how you are changing and
doing good uh well, instagram isstill quite a mystery to me, so
if you are listening to thisand want to help my following on
instagram, please go and followme there I'll leave a link to
your Instagram in the show notes.
Yeah, please go there because Ican't work that one out.
But other than that, if youfind me on TikTok and Facebook
(25:31):
and we've got a new season ofwhy Do I Feel this Way, which is
my podcast coming out reallysoon, which is just lots of
really cool and interestingpeople talking about their
journeys of life, whether it beanything.
You know, it's not just aboutdrugs and alcohol, it's any kind
of adversity and how they foundtheir way out and some kind of
new life and peace and quiet.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
And it's bloody fantastic that podcast, so go
have a listen, guys.
I will leave the links toeverything down below.
Kate, you're a gem.
So grateful, thank you.
Thank you so much, lovelychatting to you.
I finally found recovery and found my way out of
that sort of nightmare and thatstorm, and I'm a little bit
over six and a half years clean.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I know once you hit the limelight, winning
Australian Idol, the pressureson your body image certainly
would have escalated.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I eat one too many blocks of chocolate or bits of
chocolate and I just go fuck itand I throw the whole day in the
bin.
And then I go into what I callthe last hurrah for me.
I'm just like right and I eatall the bad foods all the foods
that I consider bad, that I can,because tomorrow I'm never
going to eat them again.
And it's very much the samebehavior and the same mindset as
I had with drugs.
(00:38):
A lot of my things are justdriven by self-obsession.
I'm just thinking about myselfall the time, until I had a baby
.
You can't, you just can't thinkabout yourself all the time.
Your focus has to shift fromyourself to this little person
that you're wholly and solely incharge of.
That's been one of the greatestlessons for me.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh, hey you, and welcome to this week's episode
of the no Wellness Wankerypodcast.
I am your host, lindy Cohen, adietician, nutritionist, who
thinks life's way too short toobsess over every almond you eat
, don't you?
You've tried that and we knowit doesn't work.
So this podcast is all aboutrevealing the science, the real
stuff that you need to know, soyou don't waste your life on
that wellness nonsense thatdoesn't actually work.
(01:25):
And we talk about all thingslike body image and getting
recovery from disordered eating.
So if that sounds interestingto you, welcome to this podcast.
In today's episode, I'm going tobe speaking with Kate D'Agio.
Now, if you're an Australian,you're going to know her name.
You've probably heard of herbecause she rose to fame when
she won Australian Idol in 2005.
(01:45):
I was 15 at the time, very muchlooking up to her, and her
first single, maybe Tonight, wascertified platinum, and then
her second single also receivedplatinum status.
She was a big deal.
She was really going places.
But while her career washonestly soaring, doing so well,
she was facing significantstruggles with food and
substance addiction, includingdrugs and alcohol, which we are
(02:07):
going to talk about today.
Thankfully, she has come areally long way.
She was able to overcome heraddictions, which we are going
to talk about, and has now beenclean for six years.
She has a loving husband, an18-month-old baby boy, and she's
created a podcast called why DoI Feel this Way, which is a
really, really great listen.
She's created a podcast calledwhy Do I Feel this Way, which is
a really, really great listen.
I'm very excited for Kate toshare her story with us and
(02:28):
exactly where she's at and whereshe's going to from here.
Welcome to the podcast, kate.
Kate, welcome to the show.
Thanks, leni, thank you forhaving me.
I'm delighted to have you.
Honestly, I feel very, veryspecial to have you on here.
I watched you growing up we alldid and so I'm keen to hear a
(02:49):
little bit more about I don'tknow behind it all, because I
think we've seen a bit of thegloss.
You really transparently talkabout everything on Instagram,
on TikTok, so for anyone whodoesn't know your story, who's
first time here, can you tell usa little bit about your cliff
notes?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
your story.
Well, it's quite amulti-layered story but I'll
keep it as brief as I can.
You know it was a young girlalways struggled with my body
and my weight and my food fromas long as I can remember.
I reckon I first started eatingin a weird kind of way from
about the age of five, carriedthrough life struggling, dieting
pretty early, and then I wonthis television show called
(03:27):
Australian Idol and then I wentthrough a really public battle
with my weight and I was in that.
I grew up in that time of thoseearly 2000s where the idea of
what was beautiful was Kate Mossand if you weren't that, you
weren't it.
You know, there was just lotsof really big moments in my life
that really drove home andconfirmed that core messaging
and core belief of mine that mybody was shit and that I needed
(03:48):
to look different and that Ineeded to be better, to be
lovable and to be beautiful.
It eventually landed me, Ithink played a big part in me
finding myself fighting, youknow, a 14 year drug and alcohol
addiction and you know my bodyimage and all that was wrapped
up in that as well whilst tryingto manage a career and losing a
career and, you know, losingeverything else that goes with
that.
And then about six years ago, Ifinally found recovery and
(04:10):
found my way out of that sort ofnightmare and that storm and
I'm a little bit over six and ahalf years clean and I have a
beautiful, full life.
I have an 18 month old baby, abeautiful partner and you know
I'm very grateful that I have mylife back.
But, you know, waking up out ofthat shit show sorry, I hope I
can swear here I've got a bit ofa potty mouth you know was
(04:30):
still this core problem and coreissue that I'd had since I was
a little girl and that was, youknow, all these ridiculous
belief systems and ideas that Ihad about what was well and what
was healthy and what dietingwas and what balance was.
And actually I didn't have anyidea of what balance is and I
still struggle with it.
Balance isn't something I'mgood at.
And, yeah, the last six yearshas sort of been trying to do
(04:52):
that last big piece of work andwork out how to treat my body
with kindness and look after itand try and be realistic about
it too, and it's like I'mdefinitely getting better.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But it's been a battle and it's like I'm
definitely getting better, butit's been a battle and it's
incredibly tough because you andI a lot of us women we grew up
in a time where it was moresocially acceptable to have an
eating disorder, to under eat,to skip meals, to do incredibly
disordered things to our body,than it was to be at a slightly
heavier weight.
And I know, once you hit thelimelight, winning Australian
Idol, the pressures on your bodyimage certainly would have
(05:24):
escalated.
There was that comment fromKyle Sandilands.
Can you talk to me about thattime and what it felt like
coming into this going?
I didn't really like my bodythat much before, a bit of a
turbulent relationship, and nowI am one of the biggest pop
stars in Australia.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah.
So I guess that comment youknow the old famous comment and
at that moment I didn't realisemaybe the impact that it was
going to have on not just me butlots of other people.
And I guess by that point myrelationship with my body was
pretty messy and it wasn'thealthy or kind.
So what he said to me came asno surprise in a way.
(06:00):
It was kind of like oh yeah, Ikind of already knew that, like
I'm hideous, I'm gross, coverall this way.
It was kind of like, oh yeah, Ikind of already knew that, like
I'm hideous, I'm gross, coverall this up.
It was just a drive home for methat all the things that I'd
already thought about myselfwere true.
So it probably didn't shock meinitially, but I guess I've
certainly carried it with me.
But yeah, I think any well, Ican't talk for young girls of
this time, but I'm assuming it'sthe same.
You know, the relationship withour bodies and not just women
(06:23):
but men is it's very personaland there's so much shame can be
wrapped up in it, and I guessto do it on a public platform
took it into almost a traumatic.
I guess it was.
I read this somewhere recently.
It was like deaths by athousand paper cuts.
There was no one big massivetrauma, but it was just lots and
lots of little traumas thatadded up to, you know, a little
(06:43):
bit of PTSD about my body, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, and you know, we know with all the research
that with eating disorders andtrauma, there is such a clear
correlation between experiencingmoments of trauma and with
addiction.
It's all.
There's a lot of crossover.
Yeah, ken, I talk about.
You've had this viral TikTokthat you created that I loved,
loved, loved.
So basically, you are giving usa day in the life of someone
(07:10):
who experiences food noise, aconstant chitter, chatter of
what are we going to eat, howlong are we going to fast for?
Can I eat at 11am, peeking intothe fridge, coming in, coming
out.
Can you talk to me about yourexperience with food noise?
What's it, what it's been like?
And we're also going to talkabout Ozempic, so lead into it
as you like.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, I have had food noise for like I don't know
when.
I haven't had food noise likemy constant bargaining with
myself.
Food and how I'm going tobehave around.
Food is the very first thing Ithink of when I maybe before I
even open my eyes, when I openmy eyes to the last thing that I
talk to myself about before Igo to sleep and all the places
in between.
(07:50):
And it's just because I'vealways been forever chasing this
body that is unattainable forme.
I just am always on a diet orI'm always trying to.
There's always a goal I'mchasing and it's I just am
forever obsessed with food.
And even when and I've realizedthis recently even when I'm in
on a diet or successfullydieting, shall we say, it
doesn't the food noise isn't anybetter.
(08:11):
It's in fact louder, I think,because I'm constantly trying to
survive until the next mealthat I've allocated or that I'm
allowed, or the next caloriethat I can consume, and it is.
It's just that, from the minuteI wake up, right today's it
we're going to get through today, we're going to do it perfectly
, and then, if I can't reachthat goal that I've set, how can
I bargain with myself to makeit acceptable and then normally,
(08:32):
99.9% of the time, I hit apoint in the day where the
chatter gets too loud, I eat onetoo many blocks of chocolate or
bits of chocolate and I just gofuck it and I throw the whole
day in the bin.
And then I go into what I callthe last hurrah for me.
I'm just like right and I eatall the biscuits and all the
chocolate and all the dim simsand all the bad foods, all the
foods that I consider bad, thatI can, because tomorrow I'm
(08:54):
never going to eat them again.
And it's very much the samebehaviour and the same mindset
as I had with drugs.
You know it, as I had withdrugs.
It's that same thing of everyday getting to a certain point,
promising myself I'd bedifferent tomorrow and being
totally powerless the next dayover my behavior, despite my
best efforts.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Have you ever received treatment for binge
eating, binge eating disorderlike that?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
No, and I think it's fear.
I don't know why I haven't.
I'm certainly starting to lookat it and go.
You know, I didn't expect thatI would be able to get recovery
in.
You know my addictions from thebig ones like drugs, alcohol,
gambling, yada, yada and maybewhy do I think that I'm going to
(09:37):
be able to do this without alittle bit of help?
And maybe it's not aboutnothing to do with my lack of
willpower or commitment tomyself or laziness or just
weakness?
It actually goes and runs a bitdeeper than that and maybe I
need to look at getting or not.
Maybe I definitely need to lookat getting some outside help.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, spot on Binge eating, which is my specialty as
a dietician, something Istruggled with for a decade.
That wholly controlled me.
It is one of those things ifleft untreated, it tends to get
worse, it doesn't get better andwe try harder and we just oh,
we're going to try and do thediet extra good tomorrow and
then the exact same thinghappens.
I got to the point where I wasbinge eating multiple times a
(10:15):
day.
What I've seen in recovery isrecovery for people can be quite
swift and it can also be a bitof a slow process, but every
little moment that you can getback in your binge recovery can
give you that sense of calm,more control.
It ain't easy.
It's a bloody slug, I'm notgoing to lie, I would sugarcoat
it, but that food noise doesreduce.
(10:36):
And you talked about on yourTikTok recently coming off
Ozempic and your experience withit and one of those benefits we
talk about with Ozempic and, bythe way, I'm not expressly for
or against Ozempic, I think I'mvery in the middle at the moment
, going listen, there's time usecase for us and one of the
benefits I've seen from peopleis a reduction in food noise and
this is one of those thingsthat you went.
(10:57):
Okay, wait, I had this chitter,chatter, constant noise, and
then it went.
This person who had been in mybrain the whole time suddenly
didn't exist in your brain.
What was that like?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It was amazing.
It was so peaceful and I guess,with that noise gone and that
chatter also instantly reallyreduced my anxiety levels.
You know what I mean.
I get anxious about failing andall of the stuff that comes
along with that.
You know, war at oneself withfood, like the anxiety level
(11:28):
some days can be so, which thenactually just drives me to eat
more anyway, you know, because Ithink I'm going to get some
kind of relief from eating, andI do for that mini second.
So, yeah, not only did it takeaway the food noise, but it made
my day-to-day life so much morepeaceful, and I'm not for nor
against it either.
I had to go off it for my ownpersonal reasons, um, you know,
(11:50):
which I'll discuss at some pointon my, on my platforms but I,
um, I'd never experiencedanything like that and I've had
all the things.
I've had full body lipo, I'vehad gastric sleeves, I've done
diet pills, I've done all ofanything, all the things you can
in fact get like the lot andit's the only thing I've ever
(12:11):
used that removed that noise.
For me it was magical.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Before putting you on Ozempic, was there any doctor,
any person who said to you hey,listen, you might have an
underlying eating disorder,disordered eating, happening
here.
Perhaps you want to gettreatment for it while you're
doing Ozempic?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
To a degree.
Look, I was on sexcender and Iknow they're slightly different,
but they're essentially thesame thing.
Look, my doctor made me gothrough a series of tests to
check my blood tests and thingslike that, to check my overall
wellness, and she did say look,what are you doing during this
time?
It was never a long-termdiscussion from my doctor.
(12:49):
It wasn't like this is youranswer forever?
Like, what are you going to dothrough this time while you're
on it to make your life better?
On the other end, when you comeoff it, to be honest, I
probably didn't do.
I was too busy enjoying thequiet.
I probably didn't do.
I was too busy just living mylife.
I probably didn't do the levelof work that I should have and
could have, because I forgotthat I needed to, because it was
(13:09):
so peaceful, but probably notto the degree that maybe there
should.
The discussion wasn't therethat maybe should have been.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Oh, that is such a very interesting point.
I mean the motivation toactually seek help when the
problem no longer exists cantotally dissolve.
So I fully understand, now thatyou put it like that, I fully
understand why nothing happens.
And now that you're noticing,kate, I have the food noises
returning.
I feel motivated again to kindof seek some kind of clarity
here.
I will just reinforce thatpracticing in a way that can
(13:40):
reduce binge eating cansignificantly reduce food noise.
Does it take it away?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think when you live ina world that thinks the most
impressive thing a woman can beis thin, you can get to a point
where you can totally removethat noise without some kind of
medical intervention.
I haven't seen that before, butyou can take it from feeling
deafening and overwhelming andconstant to being just every so
(14:02):
often, a food thought.
Like you know, the week beforeyour period you go oh, I've got
a few more food thought thanusual.
But it is kind of one of thosethings you can really breathe
through work, through resolve.
Yeah, so your relationship withfood right now, where are you
at?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
it's a day-to-day proposition.
I look like like addiction andyou know it's a bit heavy what
I'm about to say, but in alighthearted way, like I guess
food for me and the tricky thingI believe I have a disease of
addiction and that's a wholeother conversation for another
day Like I would get addicted tothe air if I thought it would
get me out of my feelings.
I truly believe that.
But I guess food is a behaviourand something that I have to do
(14:41):
.
I can't just remove food frommy life, and that's the heart.
If I could just be totallyabstinent from food, that might
be different for me.
But I guess having food of anykind in the house is a bit like
putting a bowl of drugs on mykitchen table and saying now you
can have a little bit, but onceyou've had a little bit and
it's the same kind of thing forme.
(15:02):
So once I start eating for theday, I often find that that's
when it really ramps up, if Ican.
For me at the moment, fastingto a certain point of the day
helps me keep a little bit morein control.
But I also know that that's nota long-term solution either.
But look, it's a day-to-dayproposition and it's certainly
something I'm starting toinvestigate and look and not
(15:25):
being so harsh on myself when Idon't behave the way that I
think I need to around food in aday and go.
We've got some work to do here,kate, but my language towards
myself is a lot more gentle thanit used to be, which is a big
achievement in itself.
That's a huge achievement.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
That is.
I mean so much of thatself-hate drives our binge
eating as well.
If you ever do want to talkabout binge eating, recovery,
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm already going to call you as soon as I finish
chatting here, hang on, help meout, I got your back.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Can we talk about substance use?
And I will say you're spot on.
I definitely think that thereis a difference between being
addicted to food and addicted tosubstances.
We need food to survive, can'tjust go cold turkey, and so we
do treat them quite differentlyin recovery.
Can you tell me about yourexperience with substance abuse?
When did it start and when didyou reach a point that you
(16:17):
thought there's no other way Ihave to get?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
out of this.
Yeah, I mean, it's not pretty.
I was a late starter with drugs.
I guess I drank, you know, thefirst time I ever got drunk.
I did it to excess, you know, Idrank 1.25 liter bottle of
bourbon and spewed all overmyself, cheated on my boyfriend
and got grounded.
So that's where it started, youknow.
But I didn't do it again for along time.
But by the time I met cocaine, Iwas within the music industry
(16:45):
and to, to be honest, beingoffered a line of coke was very,
you know, it was like beingoffered a beer, it was.
It was kind of not a look downupon thing.
Um, and you know, from themoment I met cocaine or drugs,
it was very quickly my solution.
It solved a lot of.
It solved the issues that I'dbeen trying to hide from and run
from and solve since I was alittle girl, and that was to
feel, to remove all myinhibitions and insecurities,
(17:07):
feel cool, feel accepted, feel apart of the cool kids and, more
importantly, it took away mydesire again to eat food when I
was using it.
So you know as much as I didn'trealize it in that moment, the
first time that I tried drugs,that I'd have essentially
changed the course and thedirection of my life forever.
Wouldn't a crystal ball bemarvellous?
(17:29):
But you know, it was really onfrom there and it just
progressed and it became as thatparticular drug didn't give me
the same relief as it once did.
You know, the drugs that I usechange, and the way that I use
them change, and the people thatI hung out with change, and it
progressed and it progressed andit progressed until, you know,
I met methamphetamines, whichessentially was the drug that
(17:50):
brought me to my knees and itreally solved all the problems
for me and, interestingly enough, in my career which I
eventually lost to drugs, but Ihad had a gastric sleeve and I
then, you know, really got stuckinto meth and essentially I was
the thinnest I'd ever been.
I was really about 64 kilos andI'd never been taken so
(18:10):
seriously and everybody aroundme was like you're doing a good
job, kate, keep doing whateverit is you're doing, you're
nailing it and and for me, likeinside, I was the sickest I'd
ever been, but I was gettingpraised for the way that I
looked.
So it was a really confusingtime and long story short, you
know, those last five years Ihad to use methamphetamines
(18:32):
every day just to function inthe world.
And I, you know, met a reallydangerous human that I spent a
lot of time with and one day Ijust looked at myself in the
mirror and I knew that if thingsdidn't change in that moment I
was going to die.
And unfortunately it had to getthere for me and that was where
my journey of recovery started.
(18:53):
And again, it wasn't easy andit was pretty brutal, but it was
life or death for me in the end.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And so you entered rehab at that point.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yep, yep, six and a bit years ago, yeah, I entered a
rehab in Melbourne and haven'tused a drug since.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
What was it that made you decide that this was?
I mean, I know you hit rockbottom, but how come no relapse?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
there Poor.
How come no relapse?
Because I did the.
I just knew.
I knew that if I went back out,I knew, look, I'm a drug addict
, so I'll never say there's nomore using in me, there's plenty
like.
There's plenty of that in me,like I know.
But I I don't know if I've evergot a day one of recovery again
, um, and I don't know if Ipicked up how long it would take
(19:37):
me if I'd ever make it back, um, and I just did the things that
I'd been taught in rehab to do.
Then I practiced them, Like I'ma big member of NA, narcotics
Anonymous, and I went to thesemeetings and I found a community
of people that understood meand we support each other and I
think that's such a big,important part for whatever you
(19:58):
are struggling with whether itbe food, alcohol, mental health,
whatever it might be I thinkfinding people that get you and
that you can talk to withoutjudgment is one of the biggest,
most important things to findingrecovery or sanity of any kind.
So yeah, I think it's just beenthe way.
I've worked a program andcontinued to work it and put my
recovery first is why I haven'trelapsed.
(20:19):
But I also know that if I don'tcontinue to do that, I'm only a
couple of dumb decisions awayfrom going backwards.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
You mentioned at the beginning of the chat that Kate
Moss was very much the idolgrowing up.
She was the epitome of beautyduring our time and very much
known for that heroin chic ideal.
You mentioned this idea ofactually taking drugs because it
took away the food noise.
It took away food as an issueas your body image became a
nullified thing, and I know formyself I did lots of unhealthy
(20:48):
things.
Similarly, whether it's takingdrugs or I started smoking all
the time, I start my morningwith energy drinks, sugar-free
energy drinks, anything I coulddo to try and take away that,
thinking about my food, thinkingabout my body, the constantness
of it, and so I think peoplethink you know body image is
this silly kind of frivolousidea, but actually it can really
(21:09):
drive a whole bunch of reallyunhealthy decisions that we make
for ourselves, particularly ina world that's glorifying
someone like Kate Moss's likethe epitome of beauty.
What would you say to someonewho was currently struggling,
whether it's with food or drugand alcohol substance abuse?
What would you say?
What would you say to someonewho was currently struggling,
whether it's with food or drugand alcohol substance abuse?
What would you say?
What would you want them?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
to know, I guess, that chasing that body that was
so far from realistic for me,like I had to.
Also when I got into recovery,I had to grieve this idea that I
was ever going to be a22-year-old supermodel for lots
of reasons.
By the time I got clean, I was32.
It didn't matter how muchlettuce or time I spent on a
(21:50):
treadmill, I was never going tobe a 22-year-old supermodel.
That just wasn't my life, whichwas a really hard pill for me
to swallow and a big grievingprocess.
But I think for me the core ofit all has always been that I
needed to be that way to belovable, and that was the belief
system that I created throughthe public, you know, through
media and what I was fed as ayoung girl and then what I
(22:11):
experienced firsthand within themusic industry in the public
eye.
But I think women can get tothat point without all that.
You know, I think, just mediaalone, and it was always about
somebody else being able to loveme for the body that I lived in
and that it was never going tobe possible and it's just simply
not true.
Like I have a partner who lovesme, no matter what I look like
and it's got nothing to do withthe way that my body is or what
(22:32):
jiggles or what doesn't jiggle,or what stretch mark or what
scar there is.
It's nothing.
Beauty doesn't come.
And I think the most importantlesson I learned through all of
it was I felt the same way aboutmy body and I've been 132 kilos
.
Look it up on the internet.
I've been 132 kilos and I'vebeen 65 kilos.
And I felt the same way aboutmy body and hated myself equally
(22:52):
at both ends of the spectrum.
And I think that it doesn'tmatter how many drugs you take
or how many diets you do, unlessyou do the inside work.
You're never going to lovewhat's on the outside anyway and
that's been my lesson in it.
Like, the drugs aren't going tofix it, the size of your genes
aren't going to fix it.
If you're chasing acceptance,it's an inside job.
(23:15):
It's nothing to do with whatanybody on the outside thinks.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
How did becoming a parent change you?
Well, hudson's now 18 months.
I found the postnatal phasereally tricky.
Becoming a mother, you just getthrown in life sacrifice
incredibly hard thing to do.
How's it been for you?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's certainly been one of the most humbling
experiences of my life.
I think it's also taught me howto not be so self-obsessed.
You know what I mean.
Like, also, a lot of my thingsare just driven by
self-obsession.
I'm just thinking about myselfall the time, until I had a baby
.
You can't you just can't thinkabout yourself all the time.
You know your focus has toshift from yourself to this
(24:00):
little person that you're whollyand solely in charge of.
I think that's been one of thegreatest lessons for me to just
get out of my own, just stopthinking about myself, and my
values and what I value aboutmyself, too, has changed.
I think I don't value expensiveclothes or all those things
have shifted.
But yeah, he's been a veryhumbling experience for me.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And just to finish up , what do you wish 15-year-old
you?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
knew.
Oh golly, I wish, I just wish Icould pick her up and scoop her
up and just take her throughall of that stuff and just
explain all of the things thatshe or you think are important
right now, in 15 years' time orhowever many years' time it is,
(24:45):
they just don't matter.
And I wish I could undo thoseideas that were so firmly
planted of what she needed to beto be okay in the world and
just show her that it was justso not right.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, well, I have no doubt that your son is going to
be given all those messagesthat I wish, 15 year old, you
was given.
Oh, bless your heart.
Hey, how can we find you?
Speaker 1 (25:10):
follow along, let's see how you are changing and
doing good uh well, instagram isstill quite a mystery to me, so
if you are listening to thisand want to help my following on
instagram, please go and followme there I'll leave a link to
your Instagram in the show notes.
Yeah, please go there because Ican't work that one out.
But other than that, if youfind me on TikTok and Facebook
(25:31):
and we've got a new season ofwhy Do I Feel this Way, which is
my podcast coming out reallysoon, which is just lots of
really cool and interestingpeople talking about their
journeys of life, whether it beanything.
You know, it's not just aboutdrugs and alcohol, it's any kind
of adversity and how they foundtheir way out and some kind of
new life and peace and quiet.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
And it's bloody fantastic that podcast, so go
have a listen, guys.
I will leave the links toeverything down below.
Kate, you're a gem.
So grateful, thank you.
Thank you so much, lovelychatting to you.
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