What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I’m joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, somatic sex coach, and the author of Living an Orgasmic Life.
We’re talking about:
- How she went from disconnected and dissociated… to having the best sex of her life in her 60s
- Why pleasure is your birthright (and what to do if that feels impossible right now)
- Why communication matters more than rules — and what healthy sex agreements can actually look like
- How trauma, disconnection, and shame keep people stuck in unsatisfying sex lives
- Xanet’s year-long throuple experience (including a very helpful metamour 👀)
- How to figure out what you want in non-monogamy, even if it’s not what your partner wants
- What to do when pleasure feels really far away
If you’ve ever felt broken, stuck, or too late for good sex and real intimacy — this one is gonna hit. There’s so much wisdom here for midlife lovers, non-monogamous folks, and anyone healing their relationship to pleasure.
🔗 Links + Resources:
Get Xanet’s free gift: 10 Ways to Reignite Your Relationship
Book a private retreat with Xanet: passionateintimacyretreats.com
Follow us on Patreon for bonus content like “Just the Tip”: patreon.com/notmonogamous
🎧 Listen now and let yourself feel what’s possible.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237
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