“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?”
If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been taught your whole life that love only “counts” if it fits in the monogamy box—even if that box is crushing you.
I’m getting real about my own story—how I contorted myself in my first marriage until I barely recognized who I was, why I stayed way too long, and how my second marriage turned into something more honest, more spacious, and more us once I stopped shrinking and started telling the truth.
We’re diving into:
- The sneaky, everyday ways self-erasure shows up in relationships.
- Why “compromise” isn’t the same as collaboration (and how to tell the difference).
- How your nervous system tries to keep you small—and how to rewire it so you can take up space.
- A quick grounding practice you can use before those scary, important conversations.
- Six tools to help you be fully yourself without automatically burning it all down.
If you’ve ever thought you’re “too much” for wanting more—more love, more connection, more you—this one’s your permission slip to stop twisting yourself into a shape you don’t even recognize.
Links & Resources:
- Join Breaking Free From Monogamy → https://www.elleciapaine.com/breakingfree
- Hang out with me on TikTok → http://tiktok.com/@elleciapaine
Share the Love:
If this episode hit home, send it to your partner, your best friend, or that one person who’s definitely tired of playing small. Let’s stop pretending everything’s fine and start talking about what love could look like when it actually fits.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237
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