When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.
This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships.
🔍 This episode is NOT about promoting cheating — it’s about understanding why it happens.
🔑 What We Cover in This Episode:
💔 Why People Cheat:
The surprising (and often deeply emotional) reasons people seek connection outside their marriage — and it’s not always about sex.
🧠 Emotional vs. Physical Needs:
Paul shares data from Ashley Madison showing that over 60% of women on the platform report being in sexless or orgasm-less relationships, while many men are searching for emotional validation more than physical release.
📖 The Infidelity Education Gap:
How inadequate sex education and cultural silence around pleasure leave many people feeling unfulfilled and unable to communicate their needs.
❤️ Compassionate Affairs & the Grey Area of Cheating:
Can infidelity actually save a marriage? We explore the idea of "compassionate affairs" and what happens when people cheat because they don’t want to leave — they just want to feel alive again.
😶🌫️ Shame, Secrecy & Communication Breakdown:
How fear of judgment keeps people quiet — and how creating space for honest conversations can prevent betrayal before it happens.
🎧 Listen If You’re Curious About:
- Why infidelity happens — even in loving marriages
- How modern relationships are evolving
- The overlap between non-monogamy, cheating, and unspoken desires
- What it really takes to build lasting intimacy
👂 Whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or just asking bigger questions about love and desire — this episode is for you.
👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more raw, real conversations about modern relationships, non-monogamy, and emotional truth.
🧡 Ready to explore your own desires with less shame and more clarity? Work with me at www.elleciapaine.com.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.