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July 31, 2025 26 mins

In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamous love, sex, and relationship coach Ellecia Paine cracks open the emotional exhaustion of constantly explaining your relationships—especially to therapists, friends, or family who just don’t get it. She shares what real support actually looks like, how it feels in your body, and why tolerating your truth isn’t the same as honoring it.

You’ll learn:

  • The nervous system relief of being seen without explanation
  • The emotional toll of defending your relationships
  • A 3-part framework to stop performing and start protecting your peace:
  • The Triage Method – who gets access to your truth
  • The Information Diet – how much to share (and with whom)
  • The Boundary Script – what to say when someone crosses the line
  • Why the right support isn’t just validating—it’s healing
  • How to find (or create) a space where your love doesn’t need a disclaimer

Whether you’re solo poly, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode is your reminder that you don’t have to keep explaining yourself to feel worthy of support. You just need the right people who meet you with curiosity, not correction.

🔗 Resources & Links:

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

If this episode gave your nervous system a big ol’ exhale, leave a review or share it with a fellow polyam pal who needs to feel seen too. And don’t forget to subscribe—because your support helps this show keep doing its thing.

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https://elleciapaine.com/call

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👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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