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May 22, 2025 20 mins

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right in your open or polyamorous relationship—and yet still crumble inside the moment your partner connects with someone else? 

In this honest and unfiltered episode, I explore what real self-love looks like in non-monogamous relationships—especially when comparison, jealousy, and insecurity hit hard. 

🎙️We talk about:

  • Why affirmations fail when your body’s in panic mode
  • How comparison is actually a survival response
  • Patriarchal conditioning + why it fuels competition
  • What real self-love looks like when you feel triggered
  • How to support your nervous system when jealousy hits
 “Self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying with yourself when things feel messy.” 

💜 Want to go deeper?

Join Beyond Compare—my 4-week group coaching program for non-monogamous women who are ready to stop spiraling and start feeling safe, confident, and grounded.

🕓 Starts May 28 | Early bird ends soon
👉 https://www.elleciapaine.com/compare

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show?
The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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