120. Your Biggest Icks, Our Hottest Takes: Irrational Reasons to Dump Every Last One of ‘Em

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Icks. We all have one, we all are one. Jess and Caroline read listener submissions that, quite frankly, are indefensible—but that’s the point. You can’t explain an ick. They talk about anything from men’s gross feet to people drinking full glasses of milk to someone bragging about eating a bunch of exotic fruit. Warning: you will cringe.

A few submissions lend to deeper conversations, like what we talk about and why, texting and communication woes, picky eaters, bad dates, and the weird phenomenon where men just don’t get the same icks women do. Buckle up, babies: you might recognize yourselves in some of these weird behaviors…

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Basically like we need to see a sock on a man.
If I can't see a sock, it's doneI.
I did take note of the most common ones.
There were some that were submitted over and over and over
and over and over, and it was basically anything involving
men's toes. Hey little booties, welcome

(00:26):
back. We are not for everyone, and
this is about to be one of the rudest podcast episodes on the
Internet, I'm pretty sure. I think so.
I think you're right. I haven't seen it done.
We're breaking ground. This is like a scientific
breakthrough. Say it's an innovation today,
just 'cause we feel like it, we are going to do a whole episode

(00:50):
about ICS. Just ICS.
Just unreasonable, illogical, probably offensive, funny.
ICS. Mostly submitted by the
listeners and I'm so excited. Yeah, I think in gathering both
my ICS, my boyfriend's ICS, my friends ICS, and listeners ICS,

(01:15):
I've been like conducting research for the last two weeks.
I was finding myself getting very critical about like, I
don't know if that counts as an ick.
Like certain things that you might think are your ICS are
actually just like, that's just something that you're not into
or it's a deal breaker for you. And I feel like deal Breakers

(01:35):
and ICS are different, so maybe it's worth defining for me.
ICS is like something completelyrandom that just turns you off
and like immediately once somebody does it, you can't look
at them the same way you can't look at them sexually.
You can't be attracted to them. Like that's how I think about
ICS. It's not just like, oh, he he

(01:58):
has bad grooming. It's like, well, yeah, you
might. That's definitely a deal breaker
for a lot of people. But I don't know if that's
exactly an ick. I agree with that.
I agree with your definition. I think my one adjustment would
be a lot of people submitted ICSlike about their fiance who they
love. So I do think, I think that we

(02:19):
that's fair. I think that we can all trigger
ICS in each other. And at first I was thinking, Oh
yeah, ICS or something that would make me never want to go
on a date with you. But I actually do think most
people, like I'm sure I trigger,I trigger ICS for Justin.
And like I think that you can have a moment of an IC and still

(02:40):
end up having sex with that person and liking it.
But you're probably going to need like a 20 minute break,
yeah. Before, yeah, that's maturity is
like noticing the ick and sayinglet me pause.
This doesn't mean I have to burnit all to the ground.
Yeah. But I also don't touch me.
Don't touch me for I need some. Time.
I need some time how? My ick is my hair.

(03:01):
My ick is my hair right now. Do you see this?
Do you see this I'm having? A problem right now.
I'm a little boy just This is why I feel like I'm amazed that
anyone asked me how I do my bangs 'cause I'm a little doll
boy or a little. Doll boy right now.
But if your hair was down, OK, once you tilt your head forward,

(03:21):
we can see your bun and it's notdoll boy.
Yeah, maybe you. Need to come a little doll boy
you. Need to be from the side for
this episode. I am my own ick.
Yeah, I can. I give a little.
Can I give a full intro while weall ignore my hair?
Can I give a full? Let me give myself a comb over a
full intro for everybody on the rules of ICS.

(03:42):
Yeah, please. If there's rules I I didn't know
so I need to know. I think you do know these rules,
but some people need to hear again so and ICS.
To be clear, I also have collected ICS submitted by
boyfriend, friends, listeners, followers on Instagram.
And the rules for ICS is you canonly have an IC about a person

(04:09):
or gender or whatever you're attracted to.
If it's something like I'm not sexually attracted to women, so
I can't have ICS about women. Those are just things I don't
like. And it's not the same stuff you
don't like. It's different from something
that sexually turns you off and makes you throw up in your
throat a little bit. OK.

(04:29):
And so I requested that people only submit ICS about people
they're attracted to. I think that's the rule.
And then the other big rule is that ICS are absolutely
indefensible. There's there's usually no
defense for them and also you cannot argue with them.

(04:52):
What do you mean by indefensible?
I can't. If I give you my ick, there's no
way for me to really defend it. Logically, that's what you.
Mean, I guess you you might be able to defend it logically, but
there's no requirement. Sure, sure.
For you to be able to defend you, you don't have to prove it.
But also no one can argue with an ick.
It's kind of like saying I like the color pink.

(05:16):
It's like I don't have to be able to defend why?
I just do and you don't. Yeah, like, and you can't tell
me that. I don't.
It's just an an opinion, and it is a fact of your opinion.
It's kind of like arguing. Yeah, I think it's kind of like
arguing with someone what makes them ticklish.
Like it's just a bodily reaction.
You can't really argue with it. It just does.

(05:37):
Totally. I do think ICS are bodily
reactions for sure. So that was also hard in putting
a list together for myself, 'cause I was like, I need to
experience it and then I'll knowit.
And you, you texted me like something I'm doing is just as I
walk around the city and notice somebody who I'm like turned off
by or whatever, trying to identify like, OK, what is it

(06:01):
about that person that's giving me this bodily reaction?
This was a very interesting process.
I have not been like an ick person in the I mean, I'm, I've
gotten the ick, but I've not been a person to really spend
time like aggregating them. So I'm very, I'm very interested
in what we shared. Today I'm so excited.
I collected a few and then the ones from the listeners, I was

(06:25):
crying laughing. I was crying fucking laughing.
It also made me realize that we have way more haters out here
that I, I think when I'm on the podcast as the podcast hater, I
always feel like, oh, nobody's going to understand what I mean
here. Like everyone's going to be
judging me or they must think this is mean.
You know most of y'all or most OK, I feel like the last

(06:49):
disclaimer is to say that someone, if you listen this
whole episode, something is going to apply to you.
You are going to get your butt hurt.
People submitted ICS that described me and you're going to
get butt hurt. So just know we're all going to
get butt hurt here. And if you can't handle that,
this is not the episode for you.You can go to the next one, but

(07:10):
if you're going to listen. This is like, if you're in a
sassy mood, listen to this episode.
If you have a friend who's always talking about their icks,
always being sassy, always criticizing, always hatin, send
them this episode. Like, this is for a certain
mood. And you don't have to be in that
mood today. Maybe you'll come back tomorrow.

(07:32):
Cool. Yeah.
Give me one. OK, the first one my friend said
to me that made me laugh in the middle of the street.
She said men who like hold the tip of their hat and say,
milady, what? The fuck who's done that to her
ever? Are you kidding me?
Oh wait, it may do. People do that.

(07:54):
I could immediately, I could immediately, no, it's not ADC
thing. It's maybe like a theater boy
thing. I could immediately picture this
person. But also like I, I don't think I
would associate with them. I do think that someone like
that's a deal. I think that tells me so much
about who you are that we would never, you would never stay in
my life in any capacity. I agree.
Maybe that's the reason I don't.I can't think of this man 'cause

(08:17):
he's just far away from me. Lady, I think we've weeded them
out. OK, hit me.
OK, a listener submitted saying my name about men saying my name
in a conversation in an attempt to be personable and I thought
that was spot on. I don't know if saying my name

(08:38):
out loud in a conversation is a nick for me but saying my name
in a text message to be like Jess La La La La la.
I don't know. There's a specific fuck boy that
I dated for like a month who ended up ghosting me and he
would always put my name in his text and I think it was for him
to like keep straight which girlhe was talking to or something

(09:00):
and and seem like he liked me. I think when I when I meet
someone who's doing that, I'm like, OK, so I get it.
You read the book like How to Make Friends and influence
people like Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You Googled like how they called?
Yeah, I liked that one. OK, somebody submitted men who

(09:25):
love exotic fruit. What the?
These are all so rant. I love them.
These are my favorite ones. These are my favorite.
Ones it just makes me want to ask follow up questions.
I'm like what happened to you with a man who loved dragon
fruit? Like tell me my.
I feel like I get it, though. It's like, don't lecture me

(09:48):
about. I feel like it always turns into
a lecturer. It's always a a yeah, lecturing
about a fruit I like. I think these are my favorite
ones. The ones that are.
This is what I mean. It's indefensible.
Right, right. Oh, I like this one.
OK, This is about women, somebody who's attracted to
women, they said, pronouncing Wolf WOLF as wolf cosign.

(10:13):
But you don't have to say anything else about that.
I'm in. I hate it.
Why are you doing that? Who are your parents?
Submitted by a listener about men putting your hair behind
your ear in a very shaky and feminine way.
I know exactly what they're describing, the shakiness.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to these men.

(10:35):
I'm sorry to these men. That's so funny.
I'm sorry to these men. OK, what else do I have?
There were lots of things about socks actually submitted so lots
of people and I agree hate no show socks which are the ones
that are not even ankle. It's like below the ankle.
You can't see it when you have ashoe on like.

(10:56):
Lingerie. Yeah, like they're too.
Intimate their foot. Here's their foot negligee.
And then shoes without socks, taking their socks off in any
situation was sent in. Basically like we need to see a
sock on a man. If I can't see a sock, it's done
I. I did take note of the most
common ones. There were some that were

(11:17):
submitted over and over and overand over and over.
And it was basically anything involving men's toes.
Like there was like their toes hanging over the end of their
flip flop too far. Wearing flip flops with jeans
came up like 500 times. Wearing flip flops with wide leg
pants, grabbing the the TV remote with their toes.

(11:41):
One really got me. I would say toe just like toes
was it's over #1 why do you havetoes?
Number one, stop having. Toes, yeah.
OK, wait, let me see. Watching a man chase a ping pong
ball in beer pong. Like having to bend over.

(12:06):
Yeah, and just like kind of scuttling.
Just like kind of scuttling around like a little crab.
And when the ball just keeps going and it's hard for them to
grab, the harder it. Is and it's hard for them and
they get like a they're like hunched over and they just do a
couple scuttles. I think anything where you're
scuttling. I feel really cringy when I have
to do that too, so I get it. It's a horrible look.
This is OK. Here's the other thing I thought
about. So I do have some ICS submitted

(12:27):
by men about women. I have a lot of ICS submitted by
women who are attracted to womenabout women.
But even asking men in person, Idon't think men experience ICS
as much. Ryan had several.
That's great. Justin had some.

(12:49):
I don't even know if they reallycounted as ICS, though.
I didn't, I was like, oh, it's like a personality difference.
I agree. But I I do have a theory that
men don't experience ICS as muchand I think it's twofold.
OK, here are my thoughts. So I think women have more ICS
because if you think about the ICS, most of them are about
something that under something aman does that undermines his

(13:11):
masculinity, which like sucks for men, that sucks.
But you know what? We deal with stuff with our
femininity too. So I feel like this is your lot
and I'm OK with it. I think it's going to be fun and
I'm and undermining your femininity doesn't it doesn't
it's not quite the same thing. And then I think the other part
is that I've learned a like a lot of men, if there can have

(13:35):
have been in a phase of their life where they will have sex
with anything. Yeah.
And so there's not. I think, you know, that doesn't
go for, like, every man forever.But I think most men at some
point in their teens or 20s havegone through a phase where like.
Doesn't really matter, I'll takewhat I can get.
Yeah, you could have walked straight out of a, you know,

(14:00):
fallen into an outhouse and they'd be like, well.
You're here. It's it's a hole and you're
here. Yeah.
I think that's a good theory. I do agree.
When I asked men about ICS, theywere they could name some
things, but they were not thingsthat I would consider ICS.
Like let's see. Oh, like, bad drivers was a big

(14:24):
one. We went out for drinks with one
of Ryan's friends and his wife, and I asked Ryan and his friend,
what are your ick's about women?And they both went on like a
tangent about bad drivers driving on the shoulder, weaving
through traffic, not using turn signals.
I was like, OK, like, yeah, thatwould probably annoy me or I

(14:45):
wouldn't feel safe in the car with them or whatever.
But I don't know if it's an ick per SE.
It was a very. Interesting.
Thing. Because I know you still be
fucking them. 100% I'm like I'm dating think I'm a bad driver so
what's? Justin proposed to a bad driver.
So. So what's this?
Exactly. They did give me a few others.

(15:06):
The funniest one that Ryan gave me about women was having a
Boston accent. Like, oh shoot.
I kind of get it, but I love a Boston accent on a man, and I'm
sorry to our Boston. Accents are so specific.
Listen, be sorry to them. That's fine.
Justin told me he. Justin told me this wasn't an an
IT conversation, but Justin toldme he doesn't like the sound of

(15:29):
the Italian language. And I'm like, well, that's
that's the language I speak. You don't.
Who doesn't like? Italics.
Isn't that? Weird.
His ear just like twitches with it.
It's a beautiful. He doesn't like it, he doesn't,
he doesn't like the sound of it.OK to each his own.
OK here's a good one. This one made me laugh so hard.

(15:51):
This was also submitted by my friend who gave the milady
comment. She said going to a restaurant
and the and wanting a very specific table at a restaurant
like the, the Hostess tries to sit you somewhere and you're
like, actually, can we get that table over there?

(16:13):
Actually, can we get this one over here by the window?
It makes me shiver. That's my mom though.
That's also my mom. That's, I mean, I'm guilty of a
lot of these, but it is funny. Somebody else submitted this
made me laugh a lot. Wait, wait.
I have to wait. This one is so good, some
listener said about men following the waiter to to be

(16:37):
seated at a table. No, I do.
No, I do not have an alternativesuggestion that's really good.
Why are you following another man?
God forbid it's a woman. Oh yeah, following another man
or a small woman, A small 20 year old woman.
OK, I have two really good ones watching a man arrange poolside

(16:58):
lounge chairs. I think it's similar.
To the to the beer pong one of like, just like hunched over
moving stuff uncomfortably. And then this one killed me
standing on a ladder or anythingother than the ground for a man.

(17:20):
These are all correct. There were like 4 submissions I
will say of people being like watching, seeing a man's feet
dangle like the chairs. Oh, that's, Oh, my heart just
stopped. That's like being in a bar stool
with dangling feet. Yeah.
OK, here's one for me. I will say this is mine.
And I don't think if I I think just hearing someone say this, I
don't know that I would. I think I would have a more

(17:41):
empathetic feeling about it. But then I saw it in the gym,
which is an adult man. Skinny, lanky adult man doing
the happy baby yoga pose in public.
It's terrible. I've.
I you, you can do happy baby, but you have to do it in

(18:02):
private. You have to be at home if it's.
You have to be at home. You're at no, still bad, still
bad. Say, act like you have an injury
in that moment and that's something you can't do.
Just go to childhood. Do not flare your butt hole to
us in public. No.
And he was doing, this guy was doing it for like 20 minutes.

(18:24):
He. Was just.
Stretching at the gym. No, no, no.
It was just at the gym on a mat.OK, so if you don't everyone
Google a happy baby yoga pose, you're on your back like a
beetle. First of all, don't ever let me
see a man on his back. And if you're don't be on your
back unless your legs are all the way on the ground.
I don't wanna see you on your back.
I don't wanna see you on your back like a beetle with your

(18:45):
feet in the air. That's a nick right there.
And then you pull your knees up like 2 as far as you can towards
your chest and your feet are like by your ears and you hook
your elbows over your legs so your elbows are on the back of
your knees. And you just flare it out.

(19:07):
You just flare it out and you wiggle a little bit.
Yeah, you rock. It's, I think it's the rocking
that really it's. Really troublesome to think
about. Hi Ryan.
Ryan just walked in. I told them about your Boston
accent thing. I want to know where that came
from. That one's confused.
Yeah. Do you have?
A story about. You just don't like it.

(19:29):
It's. Weird.
Can you do an impression? Yeah, do a Boston accent for us,
Can you? No, I can't.
OK. He's just watering the plants in
here. OK.
What's another one that I have? So you just gave one of yours?
I feel like I should give one ofmine.
Oh, I have. For men hanging the American

(19:51):
flag as home decor. I can't.
And then on the next bullet. Yeah.
Uses the word female. That was the other most common
submission referring. That was the most common
submission. I don't think I would have
thought of that one. And at first I was like, that's
not offensive. And then the more I thought

(20:12):
about it, I actually can't think.
Yeah. So the submission was men who
commonly refer to women as females.
They talk about them as females instead of women or even girls
or. There's a lot.
Of questions female. It is it really?
You know what it's not. It's not inherently wrong, but

(20:33):
it is, I want to say, the correlation of the man, the man,
the kind of man is correlated with.
It's always weird. I agree.
I think that there's something very impersonal about it.
It's like females, like there were a specimen.
It's scientific or something. A different species.
Yeah, a different species. So I think that's what bugs me
about it. Unless you're talking about it

(20:56):
when you're talking about like the female chronotype.
Because you're a scientist. I don't want to.
Hear that? Word.
Chronotype. I don't want to hear you talk
about chronotypes, somebody said.
Seeing my fiance practice his golf swing.
Love him, but ick. Yeah, guys who just stand like
in their living room and do their golf swing without a golf,

(21:20):
a Golf Club in their hands, that's.
Yeah, I think that's extra. That's a thing.
Sorry to these men. I think this is, you know what,
there's a lot of things that's hard about being a woman.
And this is this is one thing that's hard about being a man.
It's the one thing we have a lotof icks about you.
What do I have about women? Oh, somebody, I think this was a

(21:41):
woman who submitted about women and said looking through a
telescope with their mouth open.I can't remember the last time I
looked through a telescope. It was very specific.
OK, I have a lot submitted by lesbians about their fellow.
Females. Somebody submitted women about

(22:05):
women fake eyelashes. Oh.
I know that's going to be, I know that's going to be
controversial. You know, I think they can be
done well and I think they can be done badly.
I was going to say, I feel like if you if they're done well, you
probably shouldn't be able to tell that they're fake.
Exactly. Exactly.
But as soon as you can tell someone has fake eyelashes, it's

(22:27):
not the right look. Right.
Oh women about women submitted Butch women that wear a full
face of makeup. Oh, that's interesting.
I don't know if I've seen that, you know, 'cause like, then I
probably wouldn't consider them to be Butch, but who am I to be
the arbiter of whether someone'sButch?

(22:49):
I feel like you can definitely be Butch regardless of your.
Of makeup. Makeup, I guess I feel like I
could see. It very often.
Yeah, I it, it seems. It would seem strange, though.
I feel like there'd be some dissonance there.
Yeah. OK.
Another women about women undercuts.
Whoa, that's, that's controversial because I feel

(23:10):
like that's a very popular hairstyle in the clear
community. Undercut for a lesbian to say
that there's a lot of lesbians who have undercuts.
I like them actually. I think they look really cool,
but that probably makes dating hard for that person.
I know. Somebody said woman about women

(23:31):
excessive key chains, which I understood.
Like why do you have I? I feel that way about men
actually. And Ryan used to have a lot of
shit on his key chain. And it really annoyed me.
It wasn't key chains. It wasn't like, oh, like Aruba
or whatever, but it was just lots of keys.
Like every friend or his brotheror his mom or whatever who gave

(23:54):
him an extra key. He kept them on his key chain.
And it was just like a janitor'sring.
I was like, dog, we can't you got to leave those in a box and
just. Really simplify.
What is it? Is it the?
Is it the jingling, Is it the aesthetic 'cause I think I have
AI have a janitor key ring? I think it's how big it is, I

(24:14):
don't know, something about it is just.
Like it's. Not sleek it just really bugged
me. And then we also like have a
hook in our place where we both hang like 1 hook for him, one
for me where we hang our keys and mine is like one key chain
with my 2 keys on it and it justlooks like boop and his was like

(24:35):
an aesthetic. Man, who clips their keys?
What if they clip their keys to their belt or their pants?
Oh, they're walking around. Yeah.
I don't prefer that. I don't prefer that.
It reminds me of beepers like having a a little beeper.
Then I feel like you are cosplaying.
Being word isn't janitor. What's the right word you're

(24:55):
supposed to use now? Oh, a custodian.
Custodian. Yes, which could be an
interesting cosplay, but not forevery day.
But also, if it's not your job, why are you cosplaying at a job
that's not your job? Sure.
Sure. OK, here's one that I think is
great. Oh, some people are going to
disagree. Somebody submitted weed about

(25:17):
men weed paraphernalia scatteredeverywhere in their home.
I will raise you one. I had actually written a version
of this down on my own, which ishaving any degree of expertise
in weed in edibles and talking about it a lot if it is not and

(25:40):
talking about a lot if it is notlike a medical, like you're
taking this to support you through chemo.
Other than that, I don't care. I don't care.
I do not want to hear it is I amnot impressed by our expectees.
I think. I think that one is the kind of

(26:00):
ick for me that would also be a deal breaker.
Yeah, I think it would be for metoo.
I think it's like it's one thingto know a lot about it.
I don't necessarily mind that. It's another thing to talk a lot
about it and that bugs me. It's kind of similar to people
who love to talk about like, oh,I was so drunk last night.

(26:21):
Or like they want to prove that they party or something and talk
about that stuff a lot. I don't care.
You can do whatever you want. You can know about it, you can
enjoy it, you can whatever. As soon as you're making it your
personality and talking about itall the time, it's an ick.
I feel like the girl paralleled.This was a nick submitted by
men. A man about women talking at

(26:43):
length about dietary intolerances.
Agree. Agree.
Just have your intolerances girl, it's fine.
I do and I do. You don't.
No one else is interested in it.This is like, isn't this like
rule like 101 of socializing is like nobody fucking cares about
your diet. Nobody cares.
Don't talk about your diet. Nobody fucking cares.

(27:05):
It's so hard though, I agree with you.
And I catch myself doing it because like if I am for example
on like a fitness kick and I'm like going to the gym a lot and
eating right. It takes so much energy and like
mental focus and thinking about it all the time to be working
out everyday, eating a lot of protein, like kind of planning

(27:28):
my meals accordingly. That like it becomes the only
thing I can talk about. But it annoys me so much to hear
myself do it. But I know that when I'm on
those kicks, it's like it's on my mind.
So if people ask me what's up with me, I'm like, well, I, I
mean, this new protein pancake and whatever, I'm going to the

(27:49):
gym a lot 'cause it's like all that I'm thinking about, it
sucks. It's food.
But that I would. OK, so when you talk to us about
your protein pancakes that I would not put in this category,
that's like, oh, I discovered a recipe that supports me on this
thing I'm working on. I feel like just talking at
length about dietary intolerances is more in the
category of talking at length about medical, just like mundane

(28:14):
medical shit. Yeah, Yeah.
As opposed to, oh, I'm like, I don't know, the fact that you're
on a diet or trying a lifestyle or trying a new workout or like
on a new regimen, that's like something you're doing in your
life. I don't, I don't put those.
I don't put those in the same category, though.
At least the way I haven't experienced that from you.
Oh no, you haven't experienced that for me, because it's an ick

(28:35):
for me that I try to control. And I think, yeah, like I know
it's not interesting. So I stopped myself.
But years ago when I was still living in DC, like probably 8
years ago, I was on a really bighealth kick.
I was like losing a lot of weight in a healthy way, working
out and eating right. And it was like a year long

(28:58):
focused journey that I was on. And at that time, I know that
that was like most of what I wascapable of talking about.
I don't know. Nobody gave me feedback that it
annoyed them, but I just heard myself doing it and it annoyed
me. You're like, I gotta watch it.
I'm getting in dangerous. Now if I'm ever like back in a
zone like that, I am mindful of like, don't make it your

(29:21):
personality. Nobody wants to hear all the
details of everything you ate and how good you're doing.
And Oh my gosh, today the scale was down by this amount.
Like nobody like it's it's honestly can become toxic.
So that's what it made me think of.
But I agree there are differences too.
There's also when you were talking about like minor medical
stuff. I get icked out by

(29:43):
hypochondriacs. I didn't have this on my list,
but it is a it is. A It came up, it was submitted a
couple times from listeners. Something around like men like
having just acting like they areJesus Christ on the cross being
crucified when they have a sneeze or something.
I swear to God all of the the people who are the least

(30:08):
sympathetic to other people being ill but the biggest cry
babies when they're I'll they'reonly men.
Yeah. Oh, totally.
Because women have to have a period.
We know what pain is. We know we all experiencing.
Yeah, and we and we and not evenjust experiencing pain, but
getting used to having to just deal with it, deal with it and
no one gives a fuck and just fucking deal with it.

(30:29):
Yep, I that is genuinely a thing.
Yep. OK, wait, here's what I'm going
to say. I do relate to your when you
were like, oh, when I was focusing really hard on, oh, I
was talking about food stuff, 'cause I was focusing really
hard on it. I will say totally true.
And also that's like that's the explanation for everything.
If someone's talking about something all the time, it's

(30:49):
'cause they're consumed by it. Like doesn't mean you can't, you
know, empathize with it. But like, it's the same, like we
were talking before about moms who can't stop.
The only thing they can talk about is their kids.
Yeah. It's even more consuming, of
course, still annoying. I caught myself doing this
recently. It happens to all of us.
I caught myself doing it recently.

(31:10):
I'm, I spent like the last two weeks I had time off from work
and I spent the last two weeks doing like a like boot camp,
full throttle work period on like finding, you know, looking
at wedding venues, getting prices, making spreadsheets,

(31:32):
trying wedding dresses, trying to find a wedding dress and what
city and budgeting and wedding planners and interviewing people
and all this. And I did that for like 2 weeks
straight. And then all I could think about
and all I could talk about was wedding stuff.

(31:52):
And I one of my biggest annoyances and like kind of
fears almost every person I've seen get married in the last
couple years, with one exceptionwhen they're planning their
wedding for the year that they're planning their wedding,
all they can talk about is theirwedding.

(32:13):
All they can talk about is planning their wedding.
And personally, I find it reallyannoying and stupid and bizarre.
And I don't know, maybe they're only talking about it.
I mean, they are all consumed byit.
And of course, like you're focused on it and you're
investing money on it and it's stressful and you want people to

(32:34):
like it, but I just really don'twant to do that.
And so I saw myself doing it after like 2 weeks and I was
like, oh, OK, so I need to not do any more wedding planning for
like a week. I need to like, remember what
it's like to do other things in my life right now.
Yeah. That was my solution but like.
It is hard like because those things are all consuming and

(32:56):
especially right now, you're taking like a little time off
from working, so you have more time to devote to it.
Like it would be different if you were also working and doing
some wedding planning, you know,a couple evenings a week, but
it's not like the only thing you're doing.
But if you had a concerted focused time that was just spent
mostly on that, then of course. But I agree.

(33:19):
Like that's happened to me in somany areas of life.
It happens when you, like, it's kind of similar to the obsession
when you start dating someone new who you're really excited
about. You want to spend all your time
with them. You just want to like talk about
them, think about them, whatever.
But you also don't want to be that girl who's super annoying
and only talking about the new guy in her life.
Like you're aware it's annoying 'cause you've been on the

(33:41):
receiving end of it with your friends.
And then you're also aware that like, well, that's what my life
is right now. I don't know what to tell you.
If you want to talk to me, that's what I'm going to talk
about. Otherwise, let's catch up later.
So yeah, it is. It is a catch 22.
I get it. I very much get it.
Justin and I actually had like along talk about this, about the

(34:02):
difference between ranting aboutsomething when with your loved
ones, when it is a venting process and there's something
that is purged in it and it doessomething it it's transformative
because you get to express something.
Like obviously we love complaining.
I'm not against complaining, butlike venting to me is

(34:24):
complaining about something and you're, you're kind of
metabolizing it and you're digesting it and you're taking
it out of your head and sharing it with someone who loves you
and you're getting to process it.
And then on the other side, you come out a little bit different
because you've processed throughsomething.
The experience of talking about it is transformative as opposed
to so that is very different to to me and it's a very different

(34:48):
experience to be with someone who just repeats the same
complaint over and over. And the complaint doesn't
transform over a long period of time and they don't transform
through it to sit with someone. It's like, you know, it's like
you know your parent, your parent always, maybe they're

(35:11):
always complaining about, I don't know, pick something the
the street parking or the president or their husband or
whatever. And it's always the same and you
hear it every time and it doesn't evolve and it doesn't
transform. And you listening
empathetically, you don't, you know, that you listening

(35:32):
empathetically isn't even going to do anything for them.
So then it leaves me feel like, oh, you don't need me here for
this one. You could do this alone with a
wall and you'll be just as transformed.
It's not a purging transformative process for you.
It's not. And it's you're you're not
growing through. It's not changing anything for
you. Yeah, I feel like those are
those are the differences. I totally agree.

(35:53):
I think that's spot on. Like when I think about when I
reference like ending friendships over people being
negative and complaining, it's that it's like every time we get
together, you're complaining about the same things.
There's been no development, no growth.
There's no reason for me to be here listening or giving advice
or just like being a sounding board.
Like it hasn't changed, it hasn't evolved.

(36:14):
You're always going to be this way.
And it's like a that's. When I start checking out, yeah,
that's when I start checking. Out as opposed to like, totally.
I'm such an out loud processor Ineed to vent about stuff to
trusted people to like move to the other side of it.
That's what relationship. Is right, but then you like you
won't hear me talk about it again other than maybe being

(36:34):
like, well, that was so cool that I talked to you about it
and I feel better now like that's a that's a positive
person. Thank you so much.
Let's get back to you so much. This show is sponsored by
Betterhelp. It's mental health awareness
month, y'all, and I have mental health advocate on my bio, on my

(36:56):
LinkedIn. So it's very important for me to
speak on this today. Mental health was stigmatized
for a really long time, OK? I've worked in healthcare for 12
years and even 12 years ago whenI graduated, it was like a
paragraph in years of course work.
But now not only is mental health part of a bigger
conversation, it's also just more accessible.

(37:16):
There are more therapists, thereare more ways to get to them.
Your insurance is more likely tocover it than it was a few years
ago, and it really helps. Dog.
I have personally benefited fromtherapy.
It is the reason that I have coping skills, can manage my
stress, can communicate my boundaries.
That's why I really like what Better Help is doing.
They're broadening access to therapy.
They've got this huge network oflicensed therapists, and it's

(37:38):
all online, which means no awkward waiting rooms, no
driving across town. So if you have not yet tried
therapy, I really recommend giving Better Help a try.
We're all better with help. Visit Better help.com/not for
Everyone fully spelled out to get 10% off your first month.
That's Better Help help.com/not for Everyone.

(38:11):
Give me an egg. Give me an egg.
OK men treading water. I know, right?
Did you see an Instagram reel about that?
No, but this person did say to look like you.
Yes, there's this amazing, you know, I got the idea for this
whole episode because I saw thisInstagram account called, I
think it's called like guy with the ick list.

(38:33):
And he just takes reels, he stitches reels of like women
complaining about different ickswith men.
And as we know, they're all indefensible and they're
horrible. And he just made this long ick
list. And, you know, it's things like
having fun using a straw, like accidentally dropping something
like treading water. And I'm I love.

(38:54):
It I love it. OK OK here's an ick submitted by
a man about women. Any kind of Ugg boot or of the
like. Also cheetah print is an
absolute no. I don't trust you.
Wow. Wow, wow.
I'm at fault big time. I love my Ugg slippers.

(39:15):
I have some cute. I have a real cute cheetah print
dress I've been wearing out and about.
Yeah, don't trust me. That's fine.
Don't trust me? Oh I have OK.
One of my ICS is a man drinking a glass of milk.
I don't like it, I don't trust it.

(39:35):
I don't I think it would apply to women if I was attracted to
women, but I I would say it about female friends if you're
drinking a glass of milk. OK.
Especially with a meal. You're telling me you're
drinking a? Glass of milk with a meal.
With spaghetti and meatballs like for dinner.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. Get out of here.
I, I knew an adult man who did that and, and it was a, it was a

(39:57):
topic of conversation for a lot of people.
I think a lot of people grew up doing that.
Like when you're kids, you need to drink your milk at calcium.
Whatever, I also used to shit inmy pants.
But we you know. I don't even think I used to do
that as a kid. I don't think my I, I mean you.
Never pooped in a diaper. Oh, I did that part, but the
milk part, I don't think my mom was giving me milk with dinner

(40:17):
'cause like, she had some more culinary sense than that.
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
I hate it. Here's a good one, men who like
The Big Bang Theory. Period.
Correct. Sorry you don't have a very high
IQ. OK moving on.

(40:37):
This really made me laugh. Men wearing bike helmets once
they are already inside and off their bikes.
Just like walking around a storein their bike.
Helmet. I bike.
Look at me, I bike. You got to know I bike.

(40:58):
You just look like a little mushroom cat boy to me.
OK, this one I got from actuallylistening to Las Culturistas,
the podcast they had Amy Poehleron, and she was talking about
people who overstay their welcome at a party.
And I was like, Oh my God, that's a nick for me not being

(41:20):
able to read the room and like know when it's time to go or
also like the. Party is shutting down.
Yeah, like, things are slowing down.
Maybe they're starting to clean up.
And somebody's just still, like,seated on the couch, pouring
another drink, telling a story to like, the the two people left
there. I'm just like, go home.

(41:42):
What are you waiting for? And then there's a similar thing
of, like, people who take a really long time to leave, like,
they decide they're going to leave a party and then they are
still there 30 minutes later. And I'm like, what are you?
I thought we said bye 30 minutesago.
Why am I now running into you inthe kitchen?
Just figure it out. Just figure it out.

(42:03):
I don't like it. It's a nick for me.
Read the room. Yeah.
Get out of that. I don't even know if that's an
ick, but I will. I will, I will become so rude so
quickly. You decided, you communicated
social cues that we were doing agoodbye.
Now I'm standing, we're at the door.
I'm not having a second goodbye conversation anymore.
I gave you 2 hugs. Don't fucking ask me what I'm

(42:25):
doing the rest of the day. That was the that was the
question you asked when you tellme you need me to start leaving
now. I'm leaving correct now.
We're done. Don't talk to me now.
We're enemies. I actually would prefer to leave
people's homes in silence. Oh yeah?
Well, we've talked about an Irish exit with which is the
best way is the only way. It's the only way.
Here's one about women that's kind of made me laugh.

(42:48):
This is maybe women submitted bywomen for women.
OK visiting and walking around the office to show off baby when
on maternity leave. Oh wow.
I agree. You're also you're supposed to
be on leave. Why'd you come to the office?
Yeah, Why is this what you decided to use your time on?
I thought the whole point was that you're staying far away

(43:08):
from here. Yeah, get away.
OK, somebody wrote about a womanabout men.
She said men coughing like babies.
How can I feel taken care of andprotected if you can't even
cough right? Cover your mouth, use your
elbow. Bro, stop coughing like it's for
the first time with your tongue sticking out and nothing to
cover your face. Not the.

(43:29):
Tongue. Sticking out uncovered cough.
Not the cone, not the tongue. Get out of here.
OK I have a lot of hilarious ones about phrases men say that
immediately makes them a non option.
Go. OK, these are I I, I didn't come
up with these. Don't get mad at me saying

(43:50):
delicious when taking a sip whentaking a sip of coffee.
These are just people who are sotired of their boyfriends.
They're just sick of the person they live with.
But that's correct. That's correct.
You can't do that. You can't do that and ask

(44:13):
someone to have sex with you. OK, this is unrelated, submitted
by a different listener. This is about men or women, so
I'm assuming they're bi or pansexual.
OK, when we use the adult, when we as adults use the word yummy
or Yum to describe how food tastes, it's Yum.
It's Yum like that. I hate that.

(44:34):
It's Yum. It's yummy.
No, Oh, you know what? I in the same category in it
that I have and people don't usethis as much anymore.
But like in 2013, I feel like itwas big when people would say
nom, nom, nom. It was like an Internet.
It was like a. Fuck the fuck I.
Hate it, Don't say it. Don't type it, don't say it.

(44:56):
Don't type it, don't say it. Somebody else said when men say
food that the food slaps. Cancelled.
Go to jail. I'm guilty of that myself.
Sometimes I get really bro Y, you know?
When men say quote I like my I like my women like I like my
blank any word the listener saysjust kill me.

(45:19):
Why don't you agree? I think agree.
If they say cool beans, that hasto be one of the biggest X on
the fucking earth. Yeah, that's really bad.
We can't have sex. I'm literally grimacing as I
think about it. Oh, I have one to add to this
category of like phrases that men say.
Yeah, the words men can't say. Yeah, men referring to their

(45:42):
friend as buddy. I have a buddy at XYZ.
No, you know how they're always like, Oh yeah, my buddy's
starting that that restaurant. That's so true.
You think it's gay to have a friend?
Do you think I'm going to think you're gay if you admit to
having a friend? You got to say buddy,
apparently. Buddy, this one I don't
understand at all, which is why I'm going to read it because
it's so funny to me. Somebody said using the phrase

(46:04):
comes in handy. Like shut the fuck up.
Makes me sick. Why?
Comes in handy. Having this mini screwdriver
comes in handy. That's the perfect like,
indefensible. I don't get it, but I don't have
to get it. I feel like I can feel it.
I think I can pretty much agree with any of these.

(46:24):
With any of them, you're like, yeah, I could see that.
Using the word smooch, correct? Oh my God, yeah, don't.
Saying, saying or writing. He, he, that's man.
You can't do it right. People wrote in about men using
emojis. For me, I'm OK with a well

(46:45):
placed unique emoji, but if you're like throwing out emojis
every in every text, that's too much.
And specifically the blushing smiley emoji I can't have from a
man. Yeah, I can't.
Are you blushing belittle? I don't want to know about it.
Don't blush. That's.
A girl doll. Blushing is a nick ferment.

(47:06):
Don't blushing is a nick. I'm here's a here's a OK, I'll
I'll share 2 ICS that were submitted that violate both
Justin and I. They're about a million people
said burping in public. Sorry about it.
You guys burp in public? No, Justin has never burped once

(47:26):
in his life. Yeah, I believe that.
I'm not kidding, I've never I actually I only heard him burp
one time when he was like drunk and passed out sleeping so he
wasn't even awake while sleeping.
He burped and that was the only time I've ever heard him burp.
But I burp non-stop. Again, digestive issues.
It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad and he doesn't

(47:46):
like it, but we're still going to get married so everyone can
feel better. That is so interesting, like the
boundaries and non boundaries ofyour, you know, not talking
about poop and farts and stuff with each other, but then
allowing, I don't know. I'm very interested in the
nuances of like what's OK and what's not OK and what's not OK,
but it has to happen anyway. He's not OK with any of it, but

(48:10):
I can control like I'm not gonnashit myself in public in front
of him that. Most of the time.
But the burps, it's like burpingto me is like breathing.
I'm not kidding. If I drink a cup of water, I'm
burping. Wow.
Even it doesn't have to. It doesn't have to be fizzy
water. Like there's something I think
wrong with how I swallow. Okay.
Sure, So I'm just burping a lot.Like if I chew gum, I burp, if I

(48:34):
swallow, I burp. OK, this is just, yeah, it's
unavoidable. It's like I have a friend who
hiccups a lot and there there's no cause of the hiccups.
She just starts getting the hiccups.
She just starts getting the. Hiccups.
Yes, it's an. Probably it's an esophageal
problem. Probably.
Probably Ryan gave me one for women clapping off beat.

(48:54):
Agree. I would say that about men.
And. Then another one that he and I
shared is laughing at a joke before the punchline.
It's different than like in a story.
If somebody's telling a funny story, you can laugh whatever,
whenever. But if you're at a comedy show
and there's a setup and a punchline.
Oh, and they're just laughing 'cause they're like getting

(49:15):
excited. Yeah, or like they're confused.
Like shut up, please stop. We can't have sex.
Oh, I was gonna say the the ick that.
Well, this isn't fully what someone said, but in in terms of
men texting in a feminine way with emojis, I will not say
Justin doesn't send too many emojis, but he does text and he

(49:37):
will tell you this in a very he texts like a girl basically.
And but I like it because it makes me feel more comfortable
cause man texting is fucking weird.
You mean he's like verbose, likedescriptive?
What's that mean? Like he'll use lots of
exclamation points all over the place, things that I think most,
most women don't even recognize as girl texting.

(49:58):
We just think that's normal. But that's girl texting.
Lots of exclamation points and like long full sentences.
I mean, he's a not just verbose,but like lots of excitement and
he'll do the emoji and stuff lots of and Oh my God, I guess
he won't say, Oh my gosh. But just like that's the energy.
And I never noticed that it wasn't weird to me.

(50:19):
It made me feel comfortable because I'm like needy and I
don't want people to be withholding.
But he told me he was like, sometimes I have to turn it off
with texting my guy friends because they'll make fun of me.
And he's like, I was trained to text or I was trained to
communicate that way. Because at his job where he's

(50:41):
worked for a while, it's almost entirely women.
It the entire, like most workingat USAID, it's almost entirely
women there. Or like most of the people he's
always worked with were women. And he's like, when I started
there, there was, I was like really shocked that there was
this very, it was clear that there's a very different way
that women communicate in e-mailmost of the time, Like, and not

(51:06):
even just the exclamation points, but like the amount of
like affirmations that have to happen and more, more like not
description, but like, I am breathing.
That's a great idea and all that's a.
Great idea affirming all the affirming, all the affirming all
the time instead of just like dry get down to business and the

(51:28):
exclamation points and like, andhe was like, and I learned that
like my emails and my messages weren't were being received a
weird way. And so he was he like learned to
write with all these exclamationpoints and things and like he's
like everything goes better, goes over better now.
And he will also use that texting with me and I like it.
It is what I want. Meanwhile, a bunch of the women

(51:50):
that he works with are probably trying to use less exclamation
points in their work emails. And he's like, I got to use
more. We'll meet in the middle, yeah.
Yeah, to meet in the middle. That makes a lot of sense to me
though my, the industry I work in is very female dominated,
like public health and healthcare.
And so like the, and especially now that I'm on a marketing

(52:11):
team, it's healthcare marketing.So it's like almost entirely
women except for my boss as a dude and he fits right in.
Like he's figured out the way tocommunicate.
I, I know what you're describingbecause I think my boss does it.
I don't know if it's intentionalor if it's just become natural
to him because he's worked in this space with women.

(52:32):
It's a it's like a work communication culture.
I guess, yeah. But I know exactly what you
mean. Or he'll like heart.
You know, we use Slack at work, which is like our messaging
program, and he'll heart things in Slack.
He'll use like emoji reactions the way that I would do.
It or people think you're mad. Right, exactly.
Give me a nick. Somebody sent in this one.

(52:54):
Women who get mad at men for holding the door open for them.
Agree. Agree because I think the same
women. Like what do you want?
What do you want? Would be mad if they didn't open
the door for them. Also, like what It's I don't
find that. I don't find someone opening the

(53:14):
door to me to think that they think I'm not a whole person.
Yeah, it's just like, and you know what is what does talk
about that is like some woman would be offended if they don't
hold the door. Someone would be offended what
they do so. What's the right thing to do?
I agree. Yeah, I actually, yeah.

(53:36):
My sense of self as a person is not contained in this moment.
Right. OK, here's probably my biggest
ick and I wrote this down on my list, but I also got maybe 6
submissions from listeners. This is my biggest ick and I
would say absolutely this is an ick and absolutely as a deal
breaker. I don't, I don't.
I would never date this person and I actually don't know that I

(53:57):
would ever be seen near someone who does this.
That makes me feel more secure that I don't.
Do this is especially for men. It's bad for women too, but
especially for men. Toe walkers, people who walk on
the balls of their feet. I saw those and this and they, I
got like six of these submitted,somebody wrote Toe walkers, drop
them heels, boy. Heel toe, heel toe.

(54:21):
I agree on the balls of your feet.
And they always have a little bounce with it.
It goes back to men's toes. It's like don't Why are toes the
focal point? Don't bring attention to the
toes. Yeah, and the little bounce will
look, 'cause you know what else is?
Toddlers walk around on their tip toes.
That's the thing babies do before they learn to put like,
their whole foot down. I think the way someone walks

(54:45):
and their posture, we got a lot of comments about posture.
Yeah. Those are those things that like
I have been sitting at a bar waiting for somebody on a first
date and they've walked in and Iknew from how they walked in
that it was a no for me. And then especially to double
down if they open their mouth and they had a bad voice that
I'm not attracted to their voice, it's done.

(55:08):
Like those are my 2 quickest. It's for sure that it's just
like, yeah, this is not. We're not gonna touch each other
ever. The way you walk, that's so
good. Actually, one time I went on a
date with a guy and he had me meet him just like on a street
corner. And we we were near restaurants,

(55:28):
but we were going to go walk to a restaurant and we actually
talked about it later on the date.
And he was like, yeah, I feel like you get so much more.
I would rather meet someone likewalking around because you get
so much more information about them.
And I was like, that's true. That's actually a really good
idea. He sucked.
He had weird skin behind his ear.
Actually, I'm not kidding. It was it was a big ick.

(55:50):
He had weird skin behind his ear.
Also this is the same guy who like sent me out of a bar at
like 3 AM 3:00 AM in the morningblack out drunk and like made me
find my own way home and also then ghosted me for like 2 weeks
and then asked to hang out. Also, I think he was gay, so
there was a lot going on. I also think, like there's a
fine line between being intentional and like, having a

(56:13):
smart point about like the best way to meet someone on a first
date and then being overly intentional where it's like you
too rigid. Yeah, like you are too.
You are too learned about the best way to have a first date.
You've studied this. You've you've met a lot of
ladies like. I feel like when you see a man's

(56:34):
dating system, when you see their system and they're like, I
always go to this bar or they won't say that, but you can just
tell. And there's like, Oh yeah, this
is my favorite spot. La, la, la.
They do like a certain wink to the waiter and they have a
certain order and then like, andthen we'll walk around the
corner and we'll go to this place after and then we'll go on
this one. And it's like, you can just tell
like, oh, this is your routine system and you and they really

(56:55):
think they're getting away with it.
Agree. I mean to be fair I had a go to
date spot that if they asked where I wanted to go I always
said a stereo in Logan Square inChicago and that's where me and
Ryan's first date was. But.
That's different than a whole system.
But I had been on like 6 first dates there before.

(57:16):
Yeah, whatever, I like it there,but I didn't have a plan
afterwards. OK, that's where it tips it over
the edge. How to get them in their
knickers? They're a little negligee.
I think the word negligee is funny and I keep saying you
have. Said it a couple times, I think
the word decalatage is really good and I feel like it's
associated with negligee, don't you think?

(57:38):
I do think I do think. You do think I wrote down, oh,
this is actually really big for me, picky eaters and unwilling
to try new foods, which I don't know if that feels as strong to
you because I know I'm more likefood obsessed or something, but
you? OK, I.
Don't know what the word is, butwe've talked about how like you

(57:59):
don't really like need to have, I don't know, like try new
foods. I.
Would be annoyed. I would be annoyed by the picky
eater thing though because it's like so you're inflexible and
unadventurous like. I'll try.
This exactly you'll try. It's like.
So you're like difficult basically.
That's how I feel. That's how I feel about it.

(58:19):
It's like, OK, you can. You can have a food intolerance,
That's fine. Don't talk to me about it.
But you can have it. Yeah, but don't be like, Oh
yeah. Like having like a childish
taste in food, like a very basicchildish palate.
I just. I like chicken Nuggets as much
as the next guy, but I. Just said chicken tenders.
Oh yeah, I love them. I love them.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like you can't like

(58:40):
those things, but like, you needto be able to eat other things
or else I'm not attracted to you.
You. Just like chicken tenders I like
OK here's one from a man submitted about a woman.
This is a specific person told me this one time he this wasn't
he wasn't on a date with this girl, but I think they were at
like a group meal. And this is when he decided he

(59:02):
could never be interested in her.
Where they had some kind of likeMexican dish with like a pile of
like wet black beans on some part of the dish.
And she finished her plate and then there was a little like
black bean juice, like juice from the beans on her plate.
And she picked up the plate withtwo hands and slurped the bean

(59:27):
juice down at the table and licked the plate.
And he was like, I almost threw up.
This was on a date. No, it was like a group outing.
But that made her like that, took her off the table for him.
Yeah, I mean, that's insane behavior.
It's pretty bad. That's insane behavior.
Don't ever slurp the juice of a bean in front of me.

(59:49):
And juice. And the fact that it was that,
too. Like I've had delicious meals
where I want to lick the plate. I won't do it in public.
I won't don't do it in. Public but even if I considered
get some bread and soak it up the juices if you must like ask
for some bread. Yeah, that's what bread is for.
Bread is for that very moment, bean juice.

(01:00:10):
Yeah, the juice of a bean. It's over and it and it wasn't
coffee, it was just bean. How do you feel about a man
using a straw? OK so one of my favorite ROM
coms is crazy stupid love with Ryan Gosling and Michael Scott
and Michael Scott, Steve Carell.And they talk about, they have
that whole bit in that movie about how Ryan Gosling's

(01:00:33):
character is trying to like, teach Steve Carell's character
to have swag and like, attract ladies.
And he drinks a drink from a straw and he's like, it looks
like you're sucking on a little weenus.
Like, you can't do that. Take out the straw.
I don't have an issue with it. But I do think there's like a
certain pursing of the lips thatI don't want to bear witness to.

(01:00:55):
So like, you can drink from the straw.
I'm just maybe going to look away at that, at the exact
moment that your lips touch it. That's so funny.
Like I, I wrote down on my list drinking martinis.
Yeah, why do men hate pursing their lips?
I was going to post this photo. There was like a really cute
kissy photo of Justin and I, butit was him.

(01:01:17):
Oh, I think it was our engagement photo when I post
that we were engaged and there is a version where he's looking
at the camera and there's a version where he's going to give
me a kiss, but it's right beforethe kiss.
And he was like, no, don't just post that with me with my lips
pursed. Like not even at the kiss.
It's just my lips pursed in the air.
And I never I like didn't reallyknow the issue with it, but he

(01:01:38):
was like no, no one can. See that?
I think he having not seen the picture, I do think he's right.
I do think he made the right call.
A lot of men won't use straws and I actually didn't notice
that, but I think it's in they, I think I don't know that that
would be a nick for me, but somepeople submitted that as a nick.
OK, men here straws. And I think the men know that

(01:01:59):
they need to avoid. Them.
Well, here's the other thing. If you're a man who refuses to
use a straw, I also find that tobe an ick.
Yes, it has to be casual. You have to be somewhere in
between. You have to casually avoid them
unless it's unavoidable, then don't worry about it.
Yeah, I mean, Ryan loves, like when Ryan and I go out for
drinks, he's usually the one getting like the fruity.

(01:02:20):
It's the classic meme of like the guy getting the fruity
cocktail with the straw and the girl getting like the Negroni or
whatever, like weird that couple.
And I like that about him. I think it's really cute, but
yeah, I'm just like not looking him in the eye while he's
sucking on the straw. But it would be.
Harder to me. If he's next to you, right?

(01:02:40):
And it would be weirder to me ifhe was so concerned about
protecting his masculinity. The straw that he.
Wouldn't order something like that or he wouldn't drink from a
straw, so that would be worse. I just can't.
I'm just. Going to look at it to throw out
there men who are too protectiveof their masculine.
Yeah, after everything we've said about being masculine, for
me to like you. You know what though, I fucking

(01:03:02):
don't feel bad about this because I think the reverse that
makes women undesirable is being.
And every man would fucking say this is women who work too hard
to look sexy or look good or work at their makeup or try hard
or like don't try too hard. But you also it's like women are
held. Listen women, I don't fucking

(01:03:23):
feel bad for the men. I fucking don't feel bad the
double standard. Women have to be the perfect
amount of attractive without being being witnessed as trying
to be attractive. But if you try to, I don't feel
bad for the men. Sorry you do.
Yes, this is just you get a lot of gifts in this world, and one
of the harder things is that youmust strike the exact perfect

(01:03:45):
balance of caring about mere masculinity and protecting it
while not caring too much and deal with it.
Yeah, I'd say so. You know, we were talking like
many episodes ago at this point.We had a whole conversation
about trying and like how terrible society makes it for
women to be seen trying. And is there an equivalent?

(01:04:07):
Like we can think of all these celebrities who are women who as
soon as they were seen trying tolook better or trying to be cool
or trying to be funny or whatever, people started hating
them. And can we think of men who are
in the spotlight who have dealt with the same thing?
And people sent us some suggestions of of some guys who

(01:04:31):
maybe fit that description. I didn't.
I haven't necessarily agreed with I.
Didn't. None of them.
None of them convinced me. I read them too.
But I have one, but OK, no. So, oh, I think there's a lot of
men. I think there's becoming more
and more men in the public eye who are trying more, but people

(01:04:51):
like it. So the best example I can think
of is Timothy Chalamet, who is such a try hard and everybody's
obsessed with him. That's what I'm saying we're
talking about. We don't.
When we see a woman trying we she's like cancelled for it.
Exactly. Yeah, but that's the whole
point. It's the opposite.
It's not only that men can try and just like they still get to
exist, it's like men can try andwe like it.

(01:05:15):
And somebody, somebody gave an example.
I remember when people were sending in submissions to
disprove us. What was Who is that guy who had
the car karaoke show? Oh, James Corden, Yeah.
James Corden So someone submitted him as they were like,
oh, like he started trying too hard and people got annoyed by
him and like he people started getting annoyed.

(01:05:37):
That is true. I don't know what exactly
happened to the show. I think people did end up
getting annoyed by him, but thenthey still just gave they gave
him a grace that they won't giveto women, which is they just let
him disappear into the ether. They just let his show like kind
of fade off and he just fades into the ether.
They get the grace to just fade into the ether.
And whereas women, it's like we are having front page New York

(01:05:58):
Times articles written about howmuch we are annoyed by Anne
Hathaway. Yeah, for who did nothing.
You know what I mean? Very different.
Very. Different.
It's not that you need to love them forever regardless, it's
that if you stop liking them, you can just still let them
exist. And that, yeah.
People just stopped watching him.
Doesn't exist for a lot of womenit.
Wasn't like trendy and funny to talk about how much you hated

(01:06:20):
James Corden. People were just like, I don't
want to watch anymore. Right.
I very much agree. That is the difference.
Do we have any more anything that's like burning off your
page? Yes, I will hit a couple
classics that I think need to besaid.
OK, I'm going to RIP through these.
I'm a man wearing a fedora, a suit, vest, or any piece of

(01:06:42):
period clothing or suspenders. I like suspenders.
It's the only. No Mumford and Sons style
suspenders with no jacket over top Mumford and Sons and Sons
Style no. Yeah, no, not like that.
Straight to Joe, maybe like that.
If it like goes with like a whole outfit.

(01:07:03):
Yeah, yeah, there's like a way to make it good and there's a
way to make it bad for me. But I agree with the fedora and
the vest for sure. Unless the vest is under a suit,
yeah, like. I'm going to say a man.
A man using a tote bag. OK, what kind of tote bags?
I think I. Agree canvas tote bag.
The canvas. Canvas tote bag as opposed to
what? What other kind?

(01:07:25):
Well, tote bag to me is like just a large bag.
It can be the canvas ones or it can be like a purse which like
are we talking about a merce, a male purse or are we talking
about canvas tote bags that are like.
Groceries, I mean I would say Merce is also definitely shoot
him in the head totally. But tote bag like farmers market

(01:07:46):
man with a canvas tote? Nope.
OK, no, bring your duffel, bringa backpack or bring your
girlfriend. Sorry about it.
Sorry about it. Bring.
Your hands. Where'd your hands go?
Just hold. Your hands go bitch.
OK, that also brings me to men with small hands.
I will say my big deal Breakers on a date.
I need to see your gait and I don't care about voices much,

(01:08:08):
but I need to see how you use your hands.
There are a lot of unacceptable hand mannerisms as well as tiny
little hands. I don't like somebody who rubs
their hands together. I'll say that, OK, I don't know
if you're trying to say. I don't know if you're whether
you're doing it because you're like looking at food in front of
you and you're like. Oh no.
That's awful. That that's the same guy who's

(01:08:30):
saying D. Exactly exactly.
It's that guy. Or if you're doing it cuz your
hands are cold or something likehave what?
Why are your hands cold? Warm up?
I don't know. Like somebody, somebody
submitted men being cold in public.
Yeah, it sucks. I hate it.
I hate it and as a woman that runs hot, I'm like this.

(01:08:51):
Figure it out, I feel great, figure it out.
Last thing I'll say, I don't even know if this is an ick,
this is actually just something that makes me dry heave.
And some people did submit this,but eye boogers, and Justin
knows this. Justin's, Justin's a pretty
regular offender of our eye boogers.
Actually, we all are. I will compulsively go to the

(01:09:13):
mirror to clean out for myself. It grosses me out so much.
And if I see it in someone's eye, I'm telling you, I can't
'cause I can't talk to you. Actually, one time like I make
Justin, I'm like, you got, you got to fix it.
One time I went to walked into this like stationary store and I
was talking to the man behind the register and he was like
this sweet older guy. And I bought this like card that

(01:09:36):
had this weird painting on it orsomething.
And he was telling me the story about the painter and he had eye
boogers in his eye. And he, it was a sweet old man
started telling me the story andthe story that lasted.
I was held hostage at the cash register for like 7 minutes and
I actually threw up in my mouth.I'm not kidding.
I had to look at it for 7 minutes.
He wouldn't give me the card back and.

(01:09:57):
You're like I'm supposed to lookyou in the eyes, but I can't.
Like I will be rude right now because that's.
And then instead I'll look at their mouth or if you get a
little bit of spit in the cornerof your mouth, throwing up.
I really am grossed out by eye boogers too.
I wouldn't consider it an ick cause for me the ick's are
really more like I can't, I can't touch you, you know?

(01:10:18):
Yeah. And they're temper.
They're they're. And they're temporary.
Exactly. You can fix it, yeah.
But I'm very obsessive about wiping mine, like anytime I
notice it or first thing in the morning.
Ryan has really bad allergies, we both do.
But his allergies present in lots of morning eye boogers.
And I'm like, I get in there, I get my thumb in there with my

(01:10:39):
long nail and everything and I'mlike, sorry, this is gonna be
sharp. Oh yeah, I'll clean them off in.
No, I'm not touching. You're not touching it, so I'm
not as grossed out by it as you.I just don't want to look at it.
But I can touch it. Yeah.
No, we're like little cats. No, no.
I can't, you know what I can't do that a lot of people like to

(01:11:01):
do is like pop somebody else's pimples.
No to that. I can do that.
Wow, interesting. Yeah, I can't do that one.
I'll get in there with the eye. Eye.
Boogers gross. One time, OK, when I went on a
date with Street man, here's a little St.
Man drama. First of all, this man had this
man. It was like he was trying to
pile ICS on me. If you listen, if you follow

(01:11:23):
YouTube videos, you want a street Man thing.
And he took a bite of food and Iguess like a hair from a server
or something fell in his food Happens.
Not your fault. But what he did is he reached
into his mouth and he pulled it out and dragged it out in front
of him like a presentation. By the way, we're eating hummus.

(01:11:44):
So it's covered in hummus. And he dangled it in front of
his face and my face to show me dangled it.
I was going to say if that happened to me, you pull that
out on the side and pray to God nobody sees.
I feel like crying. I'm going to cry.
Wanted to throw up covered in hummus.

(01:12:06):
That is inexcusable. He he made me watch as he pulled
it out of his mouth and then made me and and like dangled it
there like he was presenting it.Like he's proud, like he's an
animal that just like got a fishfrom the ocean or something.
He. Might as well, like he might as
well have reached between his butt cheeks and and then showed

(01:12:28):
me what you know, what came out on his hand.
It was so upsetting. I'm stunned, but this is the
street man lore that we're all here for deep in this podcast
episode where it's safe. We no it's safe, reveal the
truth. Yeah, he's not alive anymore, I
assume. That's I'm speechless.

(01:12:49):
I think we have to go. It's not pretty bad.
Yeah. OK.
I think we have to go now. I think we have to go.
This has been not for everyone. Send us your ICS.
Keep sending us your ICS. Maybe we'll make it like a
segment every now and then to talk about more as they come up
and leave us a review. Maybe leave us a review with
your IC, as long as it's a five star review.
Write whatever you want in there.

(01:13:10):
Do that I like, yeah. Redneck.
OK, OK. That's it.
We done kisses. John Oliver, Does he have small
hands? I've never paid attention to
them. They're very dainty.
They're like an 8 year old girl.Wow.

(01:13:31):
OK, that's tough.