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Good morning, sunshines! This week, Jess and Caroline talk about a new friendship hack: the couple sleepover. They ruminate on casual, frequent hangouts, talk about spontaneous outings, and consider the sunken cost fallacy when it comes to an event not working out the way you envisioned.
Plus, they chat about what they have trouble spending money on, a few things they are really glad they spent money on, and a couple annoying but necessary purchases. Jess updates us on reading books with Ryan, Caroline updates us on her month-long work break, and they end the episode by sharing a few heartfelt listener reviews. N4E kooks are the best kooks.
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's definitely an intimacy that I think a lot of us are
losing because we see our friends less frequently.
And so then when you do see them, you're like, oh, we should
go do an event. We should go to a concert, we
should go to a dinner reservation.
And you lose these little everyday moments, which are
those moments that like the way you hung out in college.
(00:31):
Hi, welcome back. That was so loud.
This is not for everyone. This is a podcast hosted by me,
Jess, your lover, and Caroline, your hater.
What's up my hater? Boo.
So true. Somebody, somebody left a review
actually recently and was like, why don't you guys say
existential commentary podcast anymore?
I miss that. Oh, they do.
(00:52):
Interesting. I know we actually stopped
saying it because some people were like this isn't existential
commentary stop. Saying but what?
Is and it made me insecure. It made me insecure.
An existential question about existential commentary is what
even is existential commentary? Everything and nothing, right?
But yeah, I feel like we, I felttoo academic when we said it.
(01:14):
I was like, we don't want to mislead people that this is
academia. That's true.
I think we get to existential commentary a lot just talking
about the meaning of life and things like that.
Yeah, purpose. And but it also it sets the bar
too high because there's some days that I just.
We just want to tell stories about our shitting ourselves.
I do. Mostly it's like 8020 in that
(01:35):
direction for me. Of shit. 80% shitting yourself.
That's like mostly what I want to talk about at any given time.
Yeah, yeah. But I would say I think we're
still way. I mean, even the shitting
yourself stories is like, it's existential, so much more
existential than it's very existential and much more than
like, I guess other podcasts that are like pop culture.
Or blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I don't know.
(01:56):
We talk about a little bit of everything.
I always, I always like strugglewhen asked what the podcast is
about. Like if I meet someone new and
they're like, oh, you have a podcast, what's it about?
I don't struggle as much anymorebecause I kind of just throw, I
almost throw away my answer and I'm like, I don't know, it's
chatty girl talk. Sometimes we talk about deep
stuff, sometimes we talk about comedy, 'cause that's just the
truth. Yeah.
(02:18):
But people, yeah, I don't want, I don't try to sell people on
it. Yeah.
I'm just like, I don't know, listen if you want.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I don't care.
I always undersell, I think. I was just visiting my parents a
few weeks ago, and they like Snowbird in Florida.
So they were in Florida at theirplace there.
And I went to the gym and this older guy who's friends with
(02:41):
them, my dad introduced me to him at the gym.
And then he started chatting with me.
And he was like, oh, and you're their daughter who has a
podcast, right? And I was like, yeah, I am.
And he was like, what's it about?
Your dad told me like Women's Health or something And I was
like, oh, not at all. Like I think maybe you're
conflating, You know, I work in healthcare at my day job, but
(03:02):
then my podcast is like very my maybe my dad described it as
like for women or something and you're mixing the two.
He was like, oh, so what's it about?
And I said the word comedy in whatever I told him.
And he was like, your dad didn'tsay anything about comedy.
And I was like, well, he doesn'twant to give me a lot of credit.
And I was just kind of, you know, being nice, having this
(03:22):
conversation. He was a nice guy.
And he was curious. And then he was like, oh, well,
I'm going to listen. I'll listen and support it.
And I was like, oh, yeah, OK, sure.
Like, do you have a daughter? Like, I was like, I'm not sure.
Lo and behold, my mom ran into him the next day and he was
like, I listened to your daughter's podcast.
(03:44):
It's amazing a day later. What?
He had listened. Shout out Jerry, if you're still
listening. He had told my mom that he
listened to our very first episode and then our most recent
episode. Weird.
I kind of loved it. I was like, he's really invested
in my like, in my growth. When someone says they're gonna
(04:04):
listen to the podcast I, that's a certainty that they won't I.
Thought so. And it's your dad's friend.
I'm so shook. I'm so shook right now.
It was so nice. But also like my, my parents
gave me the feedback of like, you need to have a line ready
for the people that you don't think you want to listen.
(04:25):
And I was like, yeah, I do need to like have a have my few
different avenues of how I describe it depending on the
person and whether I'm OK with them listening or not.
But he was chill. He's not gonna.
That's so true. He's not gonna like, break the
code and tell my parents weird stuff.
Wow, y'all. Yeah, I think the only people
I've had to tell not to listen are my parents.
(04:46):
Yeah, they, and they probably wouldn't if I asked them to
anyway, but they I think once ortwice they've been like, should
I listen to that? And first of all, first I'd have
to show them what I'd have to explain what a podcast is.
I have to have to show them where the app is.
I'd have to explain is it live? Is it radio?
(05:07):
Like God bless em, but it's crazy that they're not 94.
And and I was just like, no, it's like, very, what did I say?
Yeah, I need the word. I was just like, oh, you know,
it's personal growth, girly stuff.
If I said it was about dating and love, then my mom would find
(05:27):
it. So.
I knew like part of the reason Idon't want them to listen is
because it gets very into very personal details.
Not as much anymore, but there'senough in there.
But definitely the dating and sexual and romantic and all that
stuff. Don't listen.
But if I mentioned that, then mymom would find it, seek it out.
So I think I was just like, oh, it's just stupid.
(05:51):
You know self growth therapy stuff.
You know that stupid stuff. Therapy.
You guys hate that, right? That's not your generation
doesn't like that. Yeah, I I think I need to get
the keywords right depending on the demographic I'm talking to.
You have to lie. Yeah, I think we need to have
some different ways to describe it, which may or may not be
accurate ways of describing it. Like that just will turn the
(06:13):
right person off. Like if it's a young woman who I
don't want to listen, I'll be like, oh, it's mostly about
monster trucks. She'll be like, oh, that's it,
just never mind then. She's like, oh really?
Do you make it cute? Really.
Maybe if you're cute, maybe I should listen.
That's the thing. No matter what you say, they
might also just listen anyway, which is why Snoop at your own
hair that much. Snoop at your own.
I did tell Jerry, like, there's an unspoken rule that we don't
(06:36):
tell my parents what's going on on this podcast.
And he was like, I got it. I got it so I my brother did ask
me my brother's so supportive and he like watches all my
videos and he's he's always texting me when I hit subscriber
count milestones. He like he texted me when I hit
900 K before I knew and he's like the biggest supporter and
(07:00):
he was like, I shouldn't listen to the podcast, right?
I was like, yeah, you should not.
I was like, correct, you should not.
I want his. Take on a lot of things that
being said, like maybe just certain episodes well you.
Would be a fun guest you. Would be a fun guest.
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, I have something really exciting to share.
Please. OK, I think this is an
innovation and also genius and amazing.
(07:25):
OK, I'm going to say that Scientific.
Discovery. Let's go.
OK, so I can't be the only one who has discovered this, but I
think we need to spread the newsas APSA.
So almost all of us, or at leastyou and I in this vacuum, really
relate to the struggle of getting together with your
friends as adults in the year 2025, at our age, in this era,
(07:51):
this isolation era, yeah, in this Western culture, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just hard to meet up with
people. We're all so busy.
I was, I was talking to our editor, Abby actually once where
she was like, oh, I'm, I'm goingto meet up with this friend of
mine. We used to be really close, but
then she moved away and I feel really bad.
(08:12):
I haven't visited her in her hometown or like where she moved
to since she moved away. She moved away like five years
ago and she was like, you know, I've seen her once a year
elsewhere. Maybe she comes back to DC, but
I've, I've never gone and visit her since she moved.
And I was commiserating and justbeing like, yeah, but like if we
did that for if we tried to visit every friend every year,
(08:33):
like once a year who's moved away somewhere, that would be
more than all of our vacation time because people just move
now and because you can work remotely.
And it's like, I have friends all over the globe and they're
some of my closest friends. And it's everyone is so
scattered. It's such a I think it's really
(08:54):
a downside of working remotely unfortunately.
But whatever, we all have these problems, scattered friends,
hard to link up, isolation, blahblah blah.
And So what I'm in love with recently that I discovered is
doing couples sleepovers. Well, you also don't have to,
(09:15):
you don't have to be in a couple.
OK, this is not swinging. That's not swinging.
But like Justin and I, you know,one of his good friends just
moved like 40 minutes away. Dog, we will.
It was hard to see them when they lived a mile down the road.
And now they moved 40 minutes away, 40 minute drive.
Like you might as well say goodbye to that relationship.
(09:37):
I think this was a, an, A, a risky choice on their part, but,
you know, we love them and we want to make it work.
And they had us out to their newhome.
And they've done this a couple times where Justin and I come
and we sleep over and like, we have dinner and we watch a movie
and. Then you go.
To sleep, you wake up in the morning and you have breakfast
and not only do you get like this like bonus time together,
but I think I discovered like itchanges the whole tone of the
(10:01):
hangout. Like even if we had just gone
over, had dinner, a movie, gone right to bed and left first
thing in the morning, it felt sodifferent.
The vibe and like the relaxationmode was so different from just
doing dinner in a movie and thendriving home and going home,
'cause that way it's like you'regetting tired.
(10:22):
You need to like watch to see when other people are tired.
When do we wrap up the conversation?
We need to make sure other people have finished eating.
And like there's much more vigilance.
And there's a certain point in the evening where you, you, you
can't relax as much. You have to start wrapping it up
and when are we going to drive home and this and that.
And you can get, if you pass out, like I'd like took a nap
during the movie and it wasn't that big a deal.
(10:42):
I wouldn't have done that if we weren't sleeping over there
because it would have felt more wasteful or blah, blah, blah.
Then you got to, you know, go cuddle with your lover at night
and then rejuvenate. And in the morning you have more
energy. And it was just like the most
amazing thing. And I feel like it's doing a lot
of times friends try to organizelike a little trip away
(11:03):
together, but you can get the same bonding time.
I think of actually a very similar meaningful experience
just doing it in your home had just having a sleepover.
Yeah. With your friends.
Yeah, I love it. I have never like pinpointed
that. But as you talked about it, I
was like, that's so true whenever I've ended up.
(11:24):
Have you done it in a? Situation like that, it feels
good like so I don't, I think that what you're describing is
unique in the sense that I either have friends who live
within a couple miles of me in Chicago or who live like a
flight away. So the middle ground there is
unique, but I don't think that'sthe point.
(11:45):
We had friends over like a couple months into when Ryan and
I moved in together, we had thisChristmas party for all our
friends in Chicago and like house warming.
And a few couples from out of town, like New York, Virginia
flew in and came to visit us forthat weekend.
And one of the couples stayed with us.
(12:05):
And it was like the first time that we had anybody in our guest
room that I was excited about that and I was reflecting.
It was really fun to have them and I was reflecting on like
what made it so fun because it actually wasn't the house
warming Christmas party where like 25 people came over.
That was cool. I enjoyed it.
But the most fun moments that wehad over that weekend were like
(12:28):
the in between times when it wasjust us and the couple staying
with us and we were just kind oflike chatting and like when we
woke up in the morning or they were helping us make the cheese
board for the party. Just like little in between
things that because we had this whole 2 days with them and they
were staying here, there wasn't as much pressure on, I don't
(12:51):
know, any one part of it. And it was actually the in
between parts of it that were the most fun.
And I think the same goes for when we visit friends out of
town too, like just going and staying with friends out of
town. The most fun parts I have are
just chilling at their place, even though we end up going out
and doing other things. I think people feel like they
(13:11):
have to host each other and takeeach other out when they're
visiting. But it is just like, let's just
be around each other in our natural elements, and that's
when we're gonna actually find connection.
I think so. I feel like those mundane,
everyday moments are actually somuch more intimate.
I think it's a part of why sometimes I'm really in the mood
(13:34):
to go out for dinner, go out forbrunch.
And sometimes it doing that going out for a meal at a
restaurant feels way too like hermetically sealed, way too
stiff. And I would so much rather have
brunch at home and bop around and take our time and make food
together and roll around on the floor together after we've eaten
(13:57):
too much and zone out for a little bit.
And I'll go change the laundry. Like, I think there's you to
both kinds of Hangouts. But there's definitely an
intimacy that I think a lot of us are losing because we see our
friends less frequently. And so then when you do see
(14:17):
them, you're like, oh, we shouldgo do an event.
We should go to a concert, we should go to a dinner
reservation. And you lose these little
everyday moments, which are those moments that like the way
you hung out in college or the way you hung out in high school
and middle school, just being ateach other's bedrooms and stuff
like that. And I'm.
Yeah. I mean, I think this applies
(14:39):
even for my friends who live closer.
Like, I haven't. I guess I did.
I did have a sleepover with two of my girlfriends.
One of them was Abby. But Abby couldn't sleep in my
haunted home. And she went.
Wait when I was there. Yeah, I was the other
girlfriend. I think that's true.
You were the other girlfriend. But I, I do want to do it more
(14:59):
with, I don't think it has to besomeone who lives like 40
minutes away. I think it sounds like a
different way of hanging out, even with, you know, Abby who
lives down the street or something.
Totally. But I think what ends up
happening is like, like, I always want Kai to stay over.
She'll come over, she'll hang out like it's 11:00 PM, what are
(15:20):
we doing? But she lives pretty close.
She has a cat. She'd rather be in her own bed,
you know, And I get that. I would always rather be in my
own bed. And so it's just like, OK, let's
hang out until we're tired. It can be as late as we want.
And then she goes home. As an example.
Like, I feel like when people live in proximity enough, it's
very easy. Like even Abby going home,
(15:41):
'cause she couldn't sleep, it's like, yeah, cause 'cause she
could just walk home, it's so close, why wouldn't she just be
in her bed? Even though I think what you're
describing is absolutely right of like the sleepover vibe is
really fun and. I think you miss out on
something. It's OK.
It's OK. I know people have sleeping
problems. If you can't sleep over, like
it's not the end of the world, but I do think there's something
(16:03):
added there. I do too, like you.
Wake up and you're fresh. Yeah, like those stupid early
morning moments where you're like, groggy and like you never
get to see your friends like that.
And there's something hilarious about it.
Totally. Yeah, I really miss.
I mean, in college, that's you're so right about that.
That's all you do. You're just like in each other
in college, you're in the commonroom together.
(16:24):
You're you show up first thing in the morning.
You, I don't know, it's just like you're together all the
time. You're not just sitting, talking
at each other over a meal, doinga catch up of your week's
events. You're often, I feel like in
college hanging out, you're justlike working in parallel or
doing chores in parallel or holding space in a room in
parallel, in silence even. You're just like living near
(16:45):
each other. And then when you haven't seen a
friend for like 3 weeks and you catch up, of course it's going
to be let's sit, let's talk, let's blah blah.
And I almost feel like the extended hangout or the
sleepover or however you want todo it, it like exhausts you
enough where like you can get the catch up out of your system
and then you can just kind of like live next to each other.
And other things naturally come up that you wouldn't have said
(17:09):
in a regular catch up conversation too.
Like just naturally as you observe things or do things or
watch a movie and react to it orwhatever, Like more topics come
up than you would have had in a 2 hour dinner.
Yeah. You also mentioned like parallel
working and just sitting together and doing work.
Ryan and I don't usually do that, even though we're both
(17:31):
like working on our own stuff inthe house at the same time.
I'm usually up at my desk, he's usually at the kitchen table.
But yesterday or two days ago, Iwent and sat there with my
laptop and just like worked while he was working and I loved
it. I was like, this is the best
bonding. Like I felt more bonded or
something, 'cause we, we were sharing space but doing our own
(17:53):
things. But then we'd like, look up and
ask a question or comment on something we were doing.
It was just very, yeah. It like, it's a comfort thing
that reminds me of being youngerand being around your friends
and just all working at the sametable at the library together.
And yeah, he and I don't do thatvery much, but it was a nice
thing to rediscover and be like,hey, can we do this more?
(18:16):
Because first of all, I focus better when other people are
working around me. And second of all, it was just
like nice to share space. So I don't know, I need to try
more of these hacks. Like your other hack I always
think about for friendship and just like spending more time
together. That's not dinner catch UPS is
(18:39):
going to run errands with friends.
You and Abby have talked about that before.
Yeah, I'm not that good. I feel like I don't do it that
much. Right, it's a good idea.
Abby's really good at. Abby's really good at like the
brief like errand hanger run or something.
And I don't know, I, I, I feel bad.
(19:00):
I feel like I'm not very, I'm not very spontaneous.
It's like I usually have my daysblocked out so.
I do too. Hard.
Like back-to-back? I feel like it's hard.
I'm not very spontaneous, but. Yeah.
When we've done it, it's really sweet.
Yeah, it. Sounds great.
Get better at it. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe it would be easier in like
(19:20):
warmer months too. You know, for some reason in the
winter it's like I barely want to go run this errand.
Why would I text my friend to see if they want to leave their
house and go run this errand too?
But maybe in the summer when we can frolic.
I did something spontaneous the other day though that was turned
out great. There's this music venue in
(19:44):
Chicago near where I live calledThe Salt Shed, and it's a new,
really cool venue. And I follow them on Instagram
and they posted this like ticketgiveaway for a band that or an
artist that I don't listen to but I know of called Japanese
Breakfast. Apparently we're talking about
Abby. Justin loves them.
Really, Abby loves her or them too.
(20:08):
So anyway, I had heard about them, I knew people like them,
and it was like a free ticket giveaway and all you had to do
was comment your favorite cheese.
So I was like, sick Bree, it's Bree.
And I went on with my day. And wait, that's such a funny
engagement request. And I had no idea why it was
(20:29):
that they didn't really explain in the post like why that was.
The prompt. But whatever, it was easy to do,
so I did it, moved on with my life.
And then a couple days later they DM me that I won tickets.
And so Ryan and I went a couple nights ago.
We both don't listen to this artist.
We show up and like, first of all, there's like this cheese
(20:50):
spread. So I guess a cheese brand was
sponsoring this event or something.
So that's why they asked about cheese.
It was like all this free cheese, then it was free drinks
and then it was free premium seats to this show.
And it was really it was really random.
We went with no expectation. It was a Wednesday night.
(21:11):
Like it was so last minute and it was just like not anything
that we would have planned on because we didn't even listen to
this musician. And it ended up being so fun.
Like the night kept evolving, like we walk in and for the
first good sign is cheap. The night goes.
On yeah. And then we'd be like.
Was it Bree? Was it like all?
Bree. It wasn't Bree.
It was lots of cheddar. But you know, I like it all.
(21:34):
I'm. I'm here for it.
And it was free. And then like, yeah, the next
step was like, Oh my gosh, there's free drinks, too.
And then the next step was like,wait, there's this rooftop bar
that we can just, like, sit at and it's not too busy and we can
just walk right in. And then that's the opener for
Japanese Breakfast was this bandI had not heard of but Ryan
Knows called Ginger Root. And I loved them.
(21:56):
Like, I was really vibing honestly to them more than to
the main act. And I didn't know them before.
It was just one of those nights that like, wouldn't have
happened if I didn't just comment Bree on this random
Instagram post. The butterfly effect.
It was. So yes, it was.
It was really fun and it it scratched A spontaneity itch
(22:17):
that I don't often scratch. It was worth it.
That's one of those magical evenings that like, you couldn't
recreate it if you tried. The so much of the beauty of it
is like we had no expectation atall.
We literally were like, we'll go.
And if it's if for whatever reason we're not having fun,
(22:38):
we'll leave. Like we don't need to stay at
this the whole time. We didn't pay anything for it
and then we just kept staying because it kept getting better,
because maybe because we had no expectation for it.
OK, so I feel very firmly, and Imight be alone in this, but me
paying for tickets, paying for something, has almost no bearing
(23:01):
on whether I stay. If it sucks, if it sucks, why
was me staying doesn't get my money back.
I know a lot of people, a lot ofpeople feel this way and they're
like, well, we it was expensive.I'm like, OK, so we already lost
the money and now I'm losing my time at something that sucks
like this one time. Yes, my family went to this Bob
(23:23):
Dylan concert this a few years ago, which sounds like it could
be cool if you're not up to dateabout Bob, what Bob Dylan's
concerts are like now. And apparently this is known and
people are like furious about itand you can find stuff about it
on Reddit. But we showed up to this Bob
Dylan concert and it was like this like out in the grass, like
open air concert, like fun. Great.
(23:45):
Bring a picnic sounds amazing. And he was only singing.
He wouldn't sing any of his songs.
He wouldn't sing any of his songs.
He was singing like Frank Sinatra and like Elvis and then
he had some like gospel singer there and like the music was
(24:06):
good, but but talk about expectations.
He had completely and intentionally just said fuck
off. I don't care to the intention of
every an expectation of every single person who bought a
ticket as a fan and and he was also like pretty old and it and
his it is really hard to understand.
It's like nonsense listening to him saying it's just jarbled
(24:29):
nonsense. And my ex-boyfriend was there at
the time. And first of all, it was like
such a bad experience. Over half of the audience left
at a huge, like, Amphitheatre. Over half had left within like
30 minutes. It was that bad.
It was really crazy. It was really crazy.
(24:51):
It was to me, the craziest part was just seeing how much he was
like, I don't give a fuck what my fans what.
Like I'm tired of singing my songs which like.
Well, he also, he did go on tour.
You already paid. But he already made money.
It is interesting, then to, like, go on tour, take more
money and not be like, listen, I'm not singing.
Sing a single fucking song you want to hear.
(25:11):
And, yeah, he truly gave no face.
That was the funny part to me. And it was horrible.
And, like, ever. My parents were falling asleep,
like, everyone was leaving. And my ex at the time was like,
yeah, this is a known thing about his tours right now.
Like, people aren't, like, hate them.
It's like, really disappointing if you expect to go and see Bob
(25:32):
Dylan. And I was like, oh, shit, I had
no idea. And he was like, yeah, I didn't
want to say anything, but here we are.
And of course, my parents are very much like, we're going to
stay through the whole thing because.
And I'm just like, I don't understand why.
I don't understand why. Like, it sucks.
The money's gone. We're not getting what we
wanted. But staying here, like, we could
(25:52):
go do something else and we could actually resurrect this
evening. Still, staying doesn't get your
money back. I am so on the same page as you
but it's hard to find people whoagree.
I I feel like like. I know I.
Feel like I'm happy. Or you can't be the one to
propose it. Yeah, I'm always happy to leave.
I'm I go to places so that I go.Happy.
One time I had tickets to see somebody who I think is one of
(26:15):
the funniest people in the world, Fred Armisen.
I had tickets to go see him in DC and we show up did.
He disappoint. No, we show up and the line is
like, it's one of the longest lines I've ever seen to get into
a ticketed event. You know, like you would think I
have a ticket. I can just like, that's bizarre.
Get right through where the linewould be moving pretty quickly.
(26:37):
It was like, I think it was at 9:30 club and it was like all
the way around the corner, just huge.
And it was a Sunday night and I was really tired already.
Weird. We literally drove up in the
Uber. I looked at the line and I was
like, yeah, I'm not doing that right now.
Yeah, I know. We bought these tickets.
I didn't. I think he's hilarious.
(26:58):
I wanted to see him. But on that day, I did not have
the capacity to stand in that line, and I didn't.
And we went and got food and went home.
And I'm OK with that, you know? I feel great about that.
I'm like, I am advocating for myself.
Yes, the money's gone, bro. The money's gone.
Like I got the tickets for myself, so if myself no longer
(27:20):
wants to do that thing. OK, that's the treat.
I can give myself treats whenever I want.
I actually get. I don't know if I can think of a
single thing I would wait in a line for for more than 15
minutes. I agree.
I am so opposed to lines. If we show up to a bar and
there's a line, even if it's like five, if it's more than 5
people and it's not moving, it'smore than 50.
(27:41):
Like there's so many bars, why do we have to go into this bar?
And then usually you get in and there's nobody in there and the
line was just to make you feel like it was exclusive or
something. I hate it.
I also refuse to pay cover. It's pretty annoying.
I will not pay cover. I know sometimes you pay cover
for places that have live. Music trend going out, I feel
(28:02):
like that used to be more of a trend.
I do think it used to be more ofa thing, but I also.
Think they just can't get peoplein anymore.
And maybe ticketed event maybe like buying tickets ahead is
more of a thing because of COVIDLike them needing to know how
many people are going. To be there events.
Yeah, something. But I do think it's less common.
But there are some places like live music places that'll charge
(28:23):
cover. Guess what?
I can also go to a live music place that doesn't charge cover
and I will do that. I can also play Spotify.
Sorry, I don't know. I can also comment cheese on a
live music venue's Instagram posts and go for free.
I don't know. There's options.
I have options. That's so crazy.
(28:44):
I don't think I've ever won any kind of lottery.
I've won a couple. Are you someone who you know how
some people win stuff a lot? Yeah, I think I'm somewhere in
the middle. I I think I'm somewhere in the
middle. Like I've never won anything
huge. I guess I've never entered
anything huge. You want a life like a lifetime
supply of cheese. This.
(29:05):
Week. That's true.
That was big. Did you take the cheese with
you? I have won a couple Instagram
giveaways before of like this caliber, which is pretty chill.
I like that. For me, I think it's almost an
antiquated Instagram giveaways. I feel like we're really big
when Instagram was first becoming more popular, like when
we were in our 20s maybe. And I feel like they still
(29:28):
happen, but less so. And so it's almost a better time
to win them because less people are engaging with them than like
five years ago. That's how I feel.
So I still, I still, if it's easy enough for me to
participate in, then I'm in. There's there's no loss.
(29:51):
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sprung. And in the spring I am more
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(30:13):
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That's not for everyone. Fully spelled out 10/FM
HelloFresh, Spring. Here's a question I've had
(31:17):
written down in my notes for a while.
OK, what? What is something that you
refuse to spend money on or likerefuse to upgrade or something?
We had this conversation. My family had this conversation
not too long ago so I'm trying to remember what my answer.
I think I have a bunch of them. Go for it while it'll jog my
(31:39):
memory. I don't have YouTube Premium.
People are always blown on people blown away by that.
It is funny that you of all people don't, but I guess just
because you create on YouTube doesn't mean that you need ad
free experience to watch on YouTube.
I mean, it's all I've ever knownis having ads, so I don't really
(32:00):
feel bothered by it. I don't know the.
Ad after like 5 seconds I don't care.
I, I mean, I'm almost a little, I wouldn't say I'm quite
miserly. I will definitely blow money on
clothes and on decor. But decor, I'm like, that's my
hobby and it's also my livelihood.
But other than that, it is really hard to sell me a
(32:20):
product. Well, I'm so the opposite.
I am the ultimate consumer. I feel like every time our
manager texts us about a brand and it's like, would you work
with this brand? I'm like, I already have seven
of their products because I useda different podcast code.
Like, you can always believe that I use the brands that we
advertise because I was using them from a different podcast
(32:42):
before I you can sell me anything.
That's so true. Yeah.
So I really am the ultimate consumer.
I'm getting better. I'm trying to cut down my
shopping. I feel like we've talked about
that, and I do think I'm gettingbetter at it, like clothing
shopping. But this question is hard for me
to answer because I do feel likeI'm one of those people that's
(33:02):
like, if I want it, I'll get it,you know?
Maybe it's not products or like maybe it's services or something
or like yes, I'm trying to think.
I feel like we all definitely have like weird things we will
not spend money on. Yeah, I don't know.
I can think of a bunch of them for other people in my life.
Like this question came up amongst my family and I couldn't
(33:26):
really think of anything on the spot.
But my mom, my mom was like, my mom said cucumbers.
She was like, I will go to a different grocery store to buy
cucumbers because I know that they're overcharging for them at
most grocery stores. I will go to like the small
Lebanese market where they're, you know, charging less for
them. Ryan is similar to that, being
(33:48):
that he's been a chef. He shops that like he'll go to
like 7 different grocery stores to get our groceries because he
knows what places mark up thingsat what rates.
That's just too much. Well, I remember him saying.
I remember him saying telling methat he will not eat chicken
wings. Out with you, right?
Because he knows. Because.
(34:08):
He's like, he's like, it's the cheapest thing to make and
they're way overpricing it and he's like, I can't make myself
pay. Exactly like a wing should be
less than a dollar one wing but you're paying for.
Well, not if you're running a business well.
Exactly, but it's one of the things they mark up more than
anything else. Yeah.
But but as a chef, shouldn't he also appreciate the economics of
(34:31):
like things that have to be havea higher margin and things that
have to have a lower margin in order to sustain the very slim
margins of a business? Yes and no.
SO. Restaurant.
There's 2 answers. Yes, he yes, true, he has a deep
understanding of that. But also when he was running a
restaurant, he was very staunch about wanting to price things as
(34:54):
fairly as possible, obviously making money but still having
very fair pricing compared to other places.
Like that's like a value of his.So he would try to cut, cut
spend in other places in order to be able to like make the menu
items a good cost. So that's just like him.
And then I think also for us as a like as people who eat food,
(35:18):
he knows that he can make it. So he's like, we're not going to
go out and buy a plate of $20 wings when I can get wings, make
them myself. I would probably like them
better and I'd spend a fraction of the cost on it.
But I love to go get wings. So I just go with other people.
I'll always go get wings with you.
(35:38):
Cute. You know, I'll tell you one
thing that I get really mad at how expensive it is and I'll
like put it off until the last minute contact.
Me. Eye contact.
What the fuck is the deal? They just know that you need
them to see and so they'll charge you however much they
want. I get very mad about it.
(36:00):
I will put it off. I'll wear my glasses to the gym,
which I hate doing, for like a week or two before I finally
succumb to the fact that OK, I need to finally order the
contacts for $500. I was gonna say, how much do you
pay? I probably pay like it's close
to $1000 for a year of contacts.Yeah, it probably, it's like I
(36:22):
think I probably am like around 700 for a year of contact.
I got the dailies. Dailies definitely got more
expensive and like that was something that I definitely so
many people told me to get dailies.
I also have super dry eyes. They're irritated all the time.
I have bad spring allergies. When I went on Accutane, it like
(36:43):
permanently dried my eyes out. I was like addicted to eye
drops. And so many people told me like
get the dailies. It's the best gift to yourself.
And I like that. It was, it took me like 10 years
to decide to upgrade because I was like, I just have this
mentality of like, oh, but I have something that works.
It's more money and I'm and theneventually I was like, this is
(37:04):
my fucking health. It's my health, my eyesight, my
physical comfort, every single yeah.
Why is this what I'm skimping on?
And it sucks that they're so overpriced, but even something
like that, I think I only switched to dailies like in the
last two years, and now I don't have to.
I don't have irritated eyes. I don't carry eye drops around
(37:25):
anymore. Like, it fixed all these medical
issues totally, but I wouldn't do it.
I get it. Yep.
I totally get it. I feel like I owe I only
recently started using an electric toothbrush.
Like only within the last six months or something.
Yeah, still not. There.
(37:46):
Oh my God, the other day I brushed my teeth and I I like
put it down and I was like, I can't believe it took me this
long to start using an electric toothbrush.
I don't know man. I put it off for so long I was
like I'm going to have to buy refill brush heads.
Like annoying. I guess that was my line with
(38:06):
spending, even though I was buying new toothbrushes all the
time. I'm getting these cavities
filled in the meantime. Right.
It's so much better. It's so elite.
I don't even know how to explainit.
It's so I feel that my mouth is cleaner.
I feel like it's actually doing something.
When I brush my teeth, it's verysatisfying.
And it's not more. I mean, like, you buy the thing,
(38:29):
but then it's one and done and then you get the brush heads.
I don't know. It's not that It's not a big
cost. It's worth it, yeah.
There's a great saying that I think I I heard from interior
design people, but who knows where it originated of.
Buy once, cry once. Just like yeah, instead of doing
like the cheaper shittier version, yes, buy.
(38:51):
Buy the proper thing. Buy it one time.
You can cry when you buy it, andthen you'll never have to
replace it with a shitty versionagain.
Buy once, cry once. Oh my gosh, Now I'm going to go
buy those Euro shams that I've been wanting.
We're we're like redoing our, the big square pillows.
Yeah, we're doing redoing our bedding.
(39:13):
And that's one of those things where you could spend a lot of
money on bedding or you could not.
And I've just decided to go for it.
Dog. Oh, I know.
Pay for it. I know I was at IKEA the other
day and I love IKEA so much. I was there prepping for a room
makeover that I'm working on andthe one thing I will not buy
(39:36):
from IKEA is they're sheets. They're so bad.
And it's like, OK, they're technically sheets and they
make, I can't make so many otherthings I love.
But what I have to feel that it's a tactile experience that
I'm going to have every night and every morning and all night
long. Yeah, Nah, bro.
We're going in on it right now and I'm gonna use that buy once,
(39:57):
cry once mentality because. Buy once.
Is an investment but then I'm gonna have the bet I like have a
vision of the bed of my dreams with all the layers and all the
pillows and all the colors that I want like I've perfected it in
my head and yeah once I once I get everything in or I'll like
make a little drawing for you toshow you but.
(40:17):
Drawing. Why don't you just send me a
photo with your camera? I guess I will, but it's gonna
take a while for it to get in cause some of the stuff I
ordered is like not shipping until June.
Whatever, there's a lot going on.
That's good. Yeah.
Draw it. Draw it.
For me, I'll draw it for you. Draw it for me first, Draw it
for you. Don't leave me waiting in
suspension. I don't want to do that to you.
Yeah, I don't want to do that. OK.
(40:37):
Baby, OK. Oh, I did something stupid the
other day. This is just a small thing.
Cool. Well, I just, I think this is
something I've been doing. I don't think it was the first
time I've done this, but I cognitively realized what it
was. I was on my phone in one app,
maybe I was on Instagram, and then it made me think of, oh, I
(41:00):
need to go do that other thing. So I went to a different app,
like the Chrome app or somethingto look up this other thing.
But once I got to the Chrome app, I couldn't remember why I
was there. And I had to go back to
Instagram to remember why I was going to Chrome.
And it just clicked for me that like, that's the new modern day
(41:21):
version of going into a room andforgetting why you were there.
It was bizarre and like having to retrace your steps.
I was like, EW, it's that. But I'm I'm just laying here on
my phone like an ass. Oh, I was trying to trying.
I was trying to Google why are tomatoes red?
(41:43):
And but now I've forgotten this important impressing question.
Literally it was something like that.
It was like, why is this where my brain energy is going?
You know what made my day, Speaking of Internet stuff is
yesterday when you texted me or like we were texting in the
morning to coordinate when we were gonna record the new
episode and you were like, yeah,Friday works like all caps.
(42:06):
You were like, I'm sorry, I'm really hyper.
No, you didn't apologize but yousaid I'm really hyper cause I've
been scrolling on my phone on inbed all morning or something.
I was like, what is this versionof Caroline?
So hype. I was so hyper I don't usually
get hyper in the morning. It was really weird I think I
got like I got like a full 11 hours of sleep I was laying in
bed. I had nothing to do all day
(42:27):
long. I had not a single thing
scheduled for the day and I'm and I was just laying in bed
scrolling and giggling and like I was just having the time.
Oh my gosh, you even look so happy now describing it.
You're so happy having. The time of my life.
I've had some great days. I'm wrapping up my work break,
(42:48):
My YouTube work break. Yeah, what?
What and I've just had. What's been the time?
Great time. How would you describe the time?
And yeah, so I, I think for the last two years, this is the
third year that I've taken like 1 condensed break from doing
YouTube because videos take a couple weeks to make.
So taking like a week vacation, it doesn't really work.
(43:10):
Like you're still always workingon something.
And so I found like I kind of just take my break all at once,
more so than most of my vacations during the year.
I usually work a good amount of them.
So this is how I took my vacation and it's good creative
recharge and just like vision casting for the next year and
(43:31):
getting bored and la, la, la, everybody always asks me if I
travel. I don't want to travel.
That's more work. That's more work.
Don't want to do that. My goal is really to like get
myself bored. Boredom is so important for a
creative recharge. And I did a lot of
needlepointing, is that? Me needlepointing for you or
(43:54):
have you done that? Maybe in the last year I started
making these like needlepoint belts for Justin.
Oh, interesting, that's. Cute.
They're pretty cool. Yeah, they're pretty cute.
And it's really fun. It's really meditative.
I thought we talked about this 'cause it's like knitting where
you can't be on your phone. Yeah, you can't be on your
phone. Your hands are occupied.
(44:14):
Yeah. It just really helps.
Doing that activity really helpsme like, I don't know, like get
in touch with a certain light level of my self-conscious, not
self-conscious subconscious. Maybe like I'm Justin.
I also we will like read books together.
We're reading this like murder mystery book and we'll get in
(44:37):
bed at night and like one of us will be reading out loud.
And if he's reading out loud it is nearly impossible for me to
just sit there and listen and donothing.
It is really hard for me to justfucking do nothing.
I zone out so hard and I just miss.
I'm always asking him to reread pages, but if I'm needlepointing
(44:58):
while he reads, I have no problem listening and.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if it's an ADD thing or what because my mom
told me when I was, she remembers when I was a kid and
she would read stories out loud when we were like, you know,
four or five or whatever. Elizabeth would like sit really
nicely next to her and like, listen and just be a good little
(45:19):
girl. And I would be like manic all
over the room, just like doing activities and playing with
dolls and doing puzzles. And she thought I was like
ignoring the book. But then every time we'd sit
down to read, she'd be like, where did we leave off?
And I would just like, rattle off exactly where we were.
But it really helps me focus actually in a way, and
concentrate. I don't know if some people
(45:40):
relate to that. Anyway, I've been doing pretty
much nothing. I've been working out, I've been
hanging with J dog. I've been seeing my family a
little bit, but also not too much because I'm working on
having better boundaries with them.
Wonderful. I visited like my elderly violin
teacher who I've been missing meaning to visit.
(46:01):
I did a ton of doctor's appointments.
I'm getting a tattoo removed. I did a lot of wedding planning.
I did a lot of like To Do List items.
That's good. But yeah, it's all stuff that
like you wanted to do, To Do List items that you want to do,
you just don't always have. Yeah, that I.
Wanted. I just didn't have time.
Yeah, that's great. I was really relating to how you
(46:22):
talked about the reading and notbeing able to pay attention.
Like it's the reason that I prefer audio books or I prefer
podcasts because I can move around, I can clean the house, I
can be driving or walking. I can be.
The movement can help you focus.Yeah, even just fiddling, you
know, I pick, we both are pickers of our cuticles and
stuff like. I think that's part of the
reason that I do that, because if.
(46:44):
I maybe it's just somewhere to direct your.
Attention somewhere to direct myenergy.
Like Ryan has noticed that aboutme.
At first he thought me picking up my cuticles and my nails and
stuff was like an anxious tendency, like when I would be
anxious emotionally. And then he started to realize
as he observed it more, that it's like, it might be anxious
(47:05):
energy, but it's not that I'm having an anxiety attack or
something. It's just like I'm restless and
I need somewhere to put my focus.
Yes, that is a really good way of putting.
It yes, there's like different ways anxiety comes up there.
It's there's restlessness and then there's like emotional
anxiety. And he was conflating it for
that for a while. And then he I was like, I don't
(47:25):
think so. Justin has assumed, too.
Yeah, I don't think that's always what it is.
And then and we kind of landed on that, which is why I tried to
start knitting. It's why I got this like I got
this little thing on Etsy that'slike this gooey.
I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast ever.
It's this gooey thing that has abunch of beads in it and you
(47:46):
pick out the beads and it like simulates the feeling of picking
at your cuticles kind of, but you're not destroying your
hands. You're picking at this other
thing. And you can do it while watching
TV or whatever. Yeah.
I just feel like I need something to do with my hands a
lot of the times. And I'm trying to make it not
phone stuff, anything but phone.But I really get that.
(48:10):
We have also tried. Have you shared that with?
Me using the like. Beep Yeah, I use.
It. I use it, yeah, it is kind of
like a pimple popper like vibe to it.
I can find the name of it and put it in the description.
I reach for it sometimes when we're watching TV in bed.
I really like it. It's really like it's really
(48:30):
satisfying and just kind of fun.Does it get all like dirty?
Like I'm thinking of like, it's not called splooge.
What is like? Like slime?
Slime. Not slime, it's.
Not just. Is it like it covered in like
dirt and dust and hair and stuff?
No, I mean, I keep it in a little bag, like a little makeup
(48:53):
bag type of thing in my bedside table.
So it hasn't really. And it also comes in this little
plastic holder and it's not likea slime ball that's as like
sticky, malleable and sticky. It's like not as sticky as that.
And it's, it's really like a thin flat piece of that type of
(49:13):
material. So I don't know, it doesn't get
gross. I kind of want want to make you
pick all these beads out and they're really.
Cute beads. So how many are there?
Friendship bracelets. There's probably hundreds.
Like it's a lot of beads. The other thing I wanted to
mention though, about what you were talking about is that you
have said, I don't know if it's on the podcast or just between
(49:34):
us before how you and Justin read to each other.
And Ryan and I tried that out recently and it was so great.
Oh my God, I'm so happy. I thought you're going to say
you hated it. No, it's amazing.
I loved it. Yeah, I loved it.
I I don't remember what we were.I think he wanted to read
(49:58):
something before bed. He's much more of a physical
book reader than I am. And he was reading a book of
like short stories, like quick or quick essays or something.
And I wanted to hang out, but hewanted to read it.
And I was like, OK, can you readit to me Then?
Can I like be involved and you read it to me?
Yeah, short stories are a good one.
Yeah. And so he was like, sure, I
(50:19):
thought I would get more pushback, but I didn't.
And then I was like, all right, and I got all cozy and listened
and it was so nice because I am more of an auditory learner, so
I could pay attention. He likes to read.
So he was doing that. It felt like we were doing
something together, but also kind of able to be in our own
(50:40):
worlds and think about what we're hearing and what we're
reading separate from each other.
And I love his voice and like, Ilove voices in general.
So I just like enjoyed hearing him read.
Like, he even started to get into a little bit of like,
narration and voices of characters and whatever.
Yeah, just deepening his voice at some points and whatever.
And I was like, what? This is cute.
I didn't expect you to do that. So it was really high.
(51:03):
Recommended. I'm so glad you liked it.
I thought you were going to say you didn't like it, but.
No, it was great. It is amazing.
It's so nice. I it's a, it's kind of like the
adult sleepover thing I was talking about in the beginning
of the episode where it's like, I'm sure intellectually you can
picture doing it, but it is hardto describe how much more fun
(51:24):
and colorful and special and intimate it feels to actually do
it. And I think it's for us, it
takes the place of watching TV shows together.
I watch plenty of TV, but Justinreally does not.
And I don't know. So I think a lot of couples do
that together, which is totally fine.
Actually. We are watching love on the
(51:45):
spectrum and we're both loving it.
So we will watch ATV show if we can find one we both like.
But I think we're both just so like unimpressed with most of
the television out there. And then reading a book
together, it's like the book doesn't have to be, I think to
enjoy ATV show together, the TV show has to be great or really
good. But to read a book?
(52:07):
Together. Or really bad.
Yeah. I think for to read a book
together, it's like we can enjoya pretty decent one.
There's so much more to it. We're stopping every other
paragraph to, like, talk shit about the narrator or the author
or compare it to this other book.
Or, like, murder mysteries we found.
Like certain books are definitely better for reading
together, like something that islike a little more energy, good
(52:29):
pacing, like a murder mystery ora thriller, romantic ones.
What's one that didn't read well?
There were some. There were some that weren't as
good to read. There's definitely some books
that are not as good to read outloud.
I think the more characters and adventure you have is really
(52:52):
fun. And the hardest part is probably
finding the book that we're bothexcited about.
But that's the hardest part. But if you can find that
overlap, 'cause we don't, we have some overlap, we don't have
a ton of overlap. Like most of his stuff I don't
want to fucking read. And he, I mostly read non
fiction, which he doesn't really.
(53:12):
So that's the hardest bit. But it's so sweet.
It's so intimate. It's.
So. Intimate, really erotic.
Sometimes it's just sweet, yeah.I love it.
It's really cozy. Yeah.
Yeah, I really. Laying together in.
I really loved it. I really, really.
I would have never thought of it.
And I think that's partly because I'm just not much of A
(53:33):
reader and partly because, yeah,I've just never done it with
anyone before. Like, I don't even, I mean, my
parents obviously read to us when we were little, but I think
that kind of stopped at some point.
Like it was when we were really little and then they just, it
wasn't a big thing in our house.Reading wasn't really a big
thing as much as my family is very about like academics and
(53:53):
education and learning. Yeah, that's.
Interesting. It just, I mean, it was like, do
your schoolwork reading, but it wasn't casual reading.
And so yeah, that's just like really wasn't on my radar at all
until you mentioned it to me. And there was just a natural
moment when I recommend I like suggested it to Ryan and we
really we really liked it. We do, that being said, watch so
(54:16):
much TV, which I obviously they're just different.
Well, I don't think. He loves, Yeah, I think there's.
Different. They're different activities.
They're different activities. Yeah, they are.
Completely different activities,yeah.
OK, baby doll, you think it's time to wrap it up?
Let's wrap it up. And I feel like we got some cute
messages and reviews that we never shout out and even though
(54:39):
we ask for them all the time because we're thirsty little
hoes. But we should give back and
thanks some people for some really sweet.
We've got like a couple really sweet ones that I think are
worth reading. Yeah, these are they they.
I was really like, kind of knocked over, floored by some of
the reviews we got recently. They made me so happy.
I think there's two we'd like toshare.
And yeah, we don't. I think it usually feels
(55:00):
awkward. I don't want to be, like,
Tooting our horn, but some of these reviews just made me feel
like, wow, we're not just in a vacuum.
Like there's a lot of people wholisten to this podcast and it
does something for them, even though sometimes we're just
being vapid whores. Yeah, OK.
We got one review. Five stars.
Think fucking thank God, please.The review is titled Love it and
(55:23):
they said very, very good. Inspired me to think about,
inspired me to think about my life further.
And I ended an abusive relationship as a result of
listening to this podcast. This podcast has helped me so
much to think about myself and people in a different light.
It's OK that I've made mistakes.I'm not a bad person for doing
(55:45):
some bad things. Same as other people.
Listening has brought me so muchpiece.
I got goosebumps. What the?
Fuck. We've gotten more messages than
I can believe of people saying things like, I ended a
relationship, I ended up an abusive relationship, I'm
getting divorced. Like I, you know, stood up to my
(56:08):
mom. I did this or that.
The other changed careers. Yeah.
It's really, really cool. That's like that's something
that I'm, I don't know, I don't even know how to process.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
It was really lovely to read. We appreciate you.
We appreciate OK, this e-mail was my favorite thing of the
(56:28):
week. So we got this e-mail titled big
thanks from a guy, which is likethe most guy title too.
I loved it. I was like, oh, he really is a
guy. Let's.
Get big thanks. Big thanks.
This had guy here in his early 30s.
Not your usual demographic I'm sure.
Found the pod a few weeks ago from Caroline's YouTube channel.
He was looking at your single Bachelor Living video.
(56:51):
Oh, the Reddit video, Yeah. Yeah, and I'm so glad I did.
I originally started listening to the dating and relationship
Advice episode since hearing thegeneralized woman perspective on
many topics and situations felt like gaining access to forbidden
knowledge that I shouldn't have.And while I'm sure listening to
many of those episodes and trying to internalize the
lessons from them is making me abetter potential partner, just
(57:14):
listening to your unfiltered andhonest girl talk regardless of
the topic has helped me to startunderstanding when the women in
my life so much more. It's making me a better brother,
a better friend, a better Co worker.
I think a lot of guys would benefit massively from hearing
perspectives like yours. Love you ladies para socially.
Anyway. That was just so cool to see.
(57:35):
Incredible. To to hear that I don't know
like I felt it was worth readingand please send it to your other
guy friends. That would be cool like.
It made me so happy because really the thing I care about
most, I think is like helping young women in some of the areas
(57:56):
that I think they're robbed. I think it's what both of us end
up talking about a lot on this podcast.
And this is a podcast for all people.
But a majority, of course, is inspired by like experiences
that young women, really women of all age, but especially young
women, cause those are the ages we can reflect on at this age in
our life. Yeah, inspired by that.
(58:16):
And I knew there's definitely male listeners and especially
guys who listen with their girlfriends or their wives and
really enjoy it. But to add.
But I just was thinking that as the exception.
And I've also always thought about like, is there some kind
of like charity or organization or initiative that I could
start, something meaningful thatI could do, like with the
(58:39):
platform I have and the things that I care about?
And to hear that like us shooting the shit and talking
honestly about nuanced and messyand sometimes ugly and sometimes
angry and very honest, like female topics and concerns.
(59:02):
Let's men who listen understand the female brain more like it to
me doesn't even feel like we're doing anything.
I kind of I'm I'm sometimes like, what the fuck else would
people talk about on a podcast? But I also don't know other
podcasts who do it. And, and I mean, that gave me
such a sense of like purpose andand hope and meaning and like, I
(59:25):
would like to do more with that.And that's everything to me.
Like there, there is so much in like our female brains that I
just wish more guys could understand.
And that actually, like, really meant the world to me and it
made me really hopeful. Yeah, it was very hopeful
message. I feel like I've even run into a
couple guys in Chicago who have recognized me from the podcast,
(59:48):
and it is so in like, you know, you look at the percentages and,
you know, it's mostly women, butyou know, there's guys listening
too. And then to actually hear from
them and, like, put a face to the name and hear how it's
helped them, 'cause I can imagine being a woman.
I can imagine how it would help a woman.
(01:00:09):
A lot of what I'm motivated by, yeah, is like, I want to hear a
voice that maybe I didn't hear when I was younger.
I want to hear somebody talk honestly about certain things
that nobody was talking honestlyabout when I was dealing with
them or when I was figuring themout.
And so I get that very much likethe value it brings to a woman
(01:00:31):
'cause that's what I'm consciously wanting to create.
But the added value for a guy, especially the week after our
ick episode, I'm like thank you for being here.
He emailed that to us. It's actually, we had just
recorded our ick episode, which was not just about men, but you
know, we am underway on men because it's a lot of women who
(01:00:51):
listen. And then the next day just
forwarded me that e-mail and I was like, should we still
release this episode? Sorry to that man, but not.
Sorry to that man. Sorry to that man.
Sorry to that man. Sorry to those man.
Sorry to that man. It's the alternative title for
this podcast. I know, but.
It, yeah, it would really make me really happy, yeah.
(01:01:14):
Yeah. Thanks guys.
Thanks for being here. Thanks for.
Leaving sweet reviews and sweet emails and just so you know you
can always we've been getting some messages on Instagram of
like where do I go to send a what to do right here.
You're there, girl. If you're already in the DMS,
you're in the right place. So DM us.
You could also e-mail us the emails in our description and
(01:01:36):
also on our Instagram. Any of your water do's, any of
your hot take requests, any of your episode topic requests for
a for you or anything else, justanything you want to share that
feels relevant. We check them all out and we
appreciate you and we'll talk toyou soon.
See ya like this.
(01:02:04):
Oh bro. Get your finger under it.
Oh, Oh yeah, yeah, girl, that's correct.
There's definitely an intimacy that I think a lot of us are
losing because we see our friends less frequently.
And so then when you do see them, you're like, oh, we should
go do an event. We should go to a concert, we
should go to a dinner reservation.
And you lose these little everyday moments, which are
those moments that like the way you hung out in college.
(00:31):
Hi, welcome back. That was so loud.
This is not for everyone. This is a podcast hosted by me,
Jess, your lover, and Caroline, your hater.
What's up my hater? Boo.
So true. Somebody, somebody left a review
actually recently and was like, why don't you guys say
existential commentary podcast anymore?
I miss that. Oh, they do.
(00:52):
Interesting. I know we actually stopped
saying it because some people were like this isn't existential
commentary stop. Saying but what?
Is and it made me insecure. It made me insecure.
An existential question about existential commentary is what
even is existential commentary? Everything and nothing, right?
But yeah, I feel like we, I felttoo academic when we said it.
(01:14):
I was like, we don't want to mislead people that this is
academia. That's true.
I think we get to existential commentary a lot just talking
about the meaning of life and things like that.
Yeah, purpose. And but it also it sets the bar
too high because there's some days that I just.
We just want to tell stories about our shitting ourselves.
I do. Mostly it's like 8020 in that
(01:35):
direction for me. Of shit. 80% shitting yourself.
That's like mostly what I want to talk about at any given time.
Yeah, yeah. But I would say I think we're
still way. I mean, even the shitting
yourself stories is like, it's existential, so much more
existential than it's very existential and much more than
like, I guess other podcasts that are like pop culture.
Or blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I don't know.
(01:56):
We talk about a little bit of everything.
I always, I always like strugglewhen asked what the podcast is
about. Like if I meet someone new and
they're like, oh, you have a podcast, what's it about?
I don't struggle as much anymorebecause I kind of just throw, I
almost throw away my answer and I'm like, I don't know, it's
chatty girl talk. Sometimes we talk about deep
stuff, sometimes we talk about comedy, 'cause that's just the
truth. Yeah.
(02:18):
But people, yeah, I don't want, I don't try to sell people on
it. Yeah.
I'm just like, I don't know, listen if you want.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I don't care.
I always undersell, I think. I was just visiting my parents a
few weeks ago, and they like Snowbird in Florida.
So they were in Florida at theirplace there.
And I went to the gym and this older guy who's friends with
(02:41):
them, my dad introduced me to him at the gym.
And then he started chatting with me.
And he was like, oh, and you're their daughter who has a
podcast, right? And I was like, yeah, I am.
And he was like, what's it about?
Your dad told me like Women's Health or something And I was
like, oh, not at all. Like I think maybe you're
conflating, You know, I work in healthcare at my day job, but
(03:02):
then my podcast is like very my maybe my dad described it as
like for women or something and you're mixing the two.
He was like, oh, so what's it about?
And I said the word comedy in whatever I told him.
And he was like, your dad didn'tsay anything about comedy.
And I was like, well, he doesn'twant to give me a lot of credit.
And I was just kind of, you know, being nice, having this
(03:22):
conversation. He was a nice guy.
And he was curious. And then he was like, oh, well,
I'm going to listen. I'll listen and support it.
And I was like, oh, yeah, OK, sure.
Like, do you have a daughter? Like, I was like, I'm not sure.
Lo and behold, my mom ran into him the next day and he was
like, I listened to your daughter's podcast.
(03:44):
It's amazing a day later. What?
He had listened. Shout out Jerry, if you're still
listening. He had told my mom that he
listened to our very first episode and then our most recent
episode. Weird.
I kind of loved it. I was like, he's really invested
in my like, in my growth. When someone says they're gonna
(04:04):
listen to the podcast I, that's a certainty that they won't I.
Thought so. And it's your dad's friend.
I'm so shook. I'm so shook right now.
It was so nice. But also like my, my parents
gave me the feedback of like, you need to have a line ready
for the people that you don't think you want to listen.
(04:25):
And I was like, yeah, I do need to like have a have my few
different avenues of how I describe it depending on the
person and whether I'm OK with them listening or not.
But he was chill. He's not gonna.
That's so true. He's not gonna like, break the
code and tell my parents weird stuff.
Wow, y'all. Yeah, I think the only people
I've had to tell not to listen are my parents.
(04:46):
Yeah, they, and they probably wouldn't if I asked them to
anyway, but they I think once ortwice they've been like, should
I listen to that? And first of all, first I'd have
to show them what I'd have to explain what a podcast is.
I have to have to show them where the app is.
I'd have to explain is it live? Is it radio?
(05:07):
Like God bless em, but it's crazy that they're not 94.
And and I was just like, no, it's like, very, what did I say?
Yeah, I need the word. I was just like, oh, you know,
it's personal growth, girly stuff.
If I said it was about dating and love, then my mom would find
(05:27):
it. So.
I knew like part of the reason Idon't want them to listen is
because it gets very into very personal details.
Not as much anymore, but there'senough in there.
But definitely the dating and sexual and romantic and all that
stuff. Don't listen.
But if I mentioned that, then mymom would find it, seek it out.
So I think I was just like, oh, it's just stupid.
(05:51):
You know self growth therapy stuff.
You know that stupid stuff. Therapy.
You guys hate that, right? That's not your generation
doesn't like that. Yeah, I I think I need to get
the keywords right depending on the demographic I'm talking to.
You have to lie. Yeah, I think we need to have
some different ways to describe it, which may or may not be
accurate ways of describing it. Like that just will turn the
(06:13):
right person off. Like if it's a young woman who I
don't want to listen, I'll be like, oh, it's mostly about
monster trucks. She'll be like, oh, that's it,
just never mind then. She's like, oh really?
Do you make it cute? Really.
Maybe if you're cute, maybe I should listen.
That's the thing. No matter what you say, they
might also just listen anyway, which is why Snoop at your own
hair that much. Snoop at your own.
I did tell Jerry, like, there's an unspoken rule that we don't
(06:36):
tell my parents what's going on on this podcast.
And he was like, I got it. I got it so I my brother did ask
me my brother's so supportive and he like watches all my
videos and he's he's always texting me when I hit subscriber
count milestones. He like he texted me when I hit
900 K before I knew and he's like the biggest supporter and
(07:00):
he was like, I shouldn't listen to the podcast, right?
I was like, yeah, you should not.
I was like, correct, you should not.
I want his. Take on a lot of things that
being said, like maybe just certain episodes well you.
Would be a fun guest you. Would be a fun guest.
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, I have something really exciting to share.
Please. OK, I think this is an
innovation and also genius and amazing.
(07:25):
OK, I'm going to say that Scientific.
Discovery. Let's go.
OK, so I can't be the only one who has discovered this, but I
think we need to spread the newsas APSA.
So almost all of us, or at leastyou and I in this vacuum, really
relate to the struggle of getting together with your
friends as adults in the year 2025, at our age, in this era,
(07:51):
this isolation era, yeah, in this Western culture, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just hard to meet up with
people. We're all so busy.
I was, I was talking to our editor, Abby actually once where
she was like, oh, I'm, I'm goingto meet up with this friend of
mine. We used to be really close, but
then she moved away and I feel really bad.
(08:12):
I haven't visited her in her hometown or like where she moved
to since she moved away. She moved away like five years
ago and she was like, you know, I've seen her once a year
elsewhere. Maybe she comes back to DC, but
I've, I've never gone and visit her since she moved.
And I was commiserating and justbeing like, yeah, but like if we
did that for if we tried to visit every friend every year,
(08:33):
like once a year who's moved away somewhere, that would be
more than all of our vacation time because people just move
now and because you can work remotely.
And it's like, I have friends all over the globe and they're
some of my closest friends. And it's everyone is so
scattered. It's such a I think it's really
(08:54):
a downside of working remotely unfortunately.
But whatever, we all have these problems, scattered friends,
hard to link up, isolation, blahblah blah.
And So what I'm in love with recently that I discovered is
doing couples sleepovers. Well, you also don't have to,
(09:15):
you don't have to be in a couple.
OK, this is not swinging. That's not swinging.
But like Justin and I, you know,one of his good friends just
moved like 40 minutes away. Dog, we will.
It was hard to see them when they lived a mile down the road.
And now they moved 40 minutes away, 40 minute drive.
Like you might as well say goodbye to that relationship.
(09:37):
I think this was a, an, A, a risky choice on their part, but,
you know, we love them and we want to make it work.
And they had us out to their newhome.
And they've done this a couple times where Justin and I come
and we sleep over and like, we have dinner and we watch a movie
and. Then you go.
To sleep, you wake up in the morning and you have breakfast
and not only do you get like this like bonus time together,
but I think I discovered like itchanges the whole tone of the
(10:01):
hangout. Like even if we had just gone
over, had dinner, a movie, gone right to bed and left first
thing in the morning, it felt sodifferent.
The vibe and like the relaxationmode was so different from just
doing dinner in a movie and thendriving home and going home,
'cause that way it's like you'regetting tired.
(10:22):
You need to like watch to see when other people are tired.
When do we wrap up the conversation?
We need to make sure other people have finished eating.
And like there's much more vigilance.
And there's a certain point in the evening where you, you, you
can't relax as much. You have to start wrapping it up
and when are we going to drive home and this and that.
And you can get, if you pass out, like I'd like took a nap
during the movie and it wasn't that big a deal.
(10:42):
I wouldn't have done that if we weren't sleeping over there
because it would have felt more wasteful or blah, blah, blah.
Then you got to, you know, go cuddle with your lover at night
and then rejuvenate. And in the morning you have more
energy. And it was just like the most
amazing thing. And I feel like it's doing a lot
of times friends try to organizelike a little trip away
(11:03):
together, but you can get the same bonding time.
I think of actually a very similar meaningful experience
just doing it in your home had just having a sleepover.
Yeah. With your friends.
Yeah, I love it. I have never like pinpointed
that. But as you talked about it, I
was like, that's so true whenever I've ended up.
(11:24):
Have you done it in a? Situation like that, it feels
good like so I don't, I think that what you're describing is
unique in the sense that I either have friends who live
within a couple miles of me in Chicago or who live like a
flight away. So the middle ground there is
unique, but I don't think that'sthe point.
(11:45):
We had friends over like a couple months into when Ryan and
I moved in together, we had thisChristmas party for all our
friends in Chicago and like house warming.
And a few couples from out of town, like New York, Virginia
flew in and came to visit us forthat weekend.
And one of the couples stayed with us.
(12:05):
And it was like the first time that we had anybody in our guest
room that I was excited about that and I was reflecting.
It was really fun to have them and I was reflecting on like
what made it so fun because it actually wasn't the house
warming Christmas party where like 25 people came over.
That was cool. I enjoyed it.
But the most fun moments that wehad over that weekend were like
(12:28):
the in between times when it wasjust us and the couple staying
with us and we were just kind oflike chatting and like when we
woke up in the morning or they were helping us make the cheese
board for the party. Just like little in between
things that because we had this whole 2 days with them and they
were staying here, there wasn't as much pressure on, I don't
(12:51):
know, any one part of it. And it was actually the in
between parts of it that were the most fun.
And I think the same goes for when we visit friends out of
town too, like just going and staying with friends out of
town. The most fun parts I have are
just chilling at their place, even though we end up going out
and doing other things. I think people feel like they
(13:11):
have to host each other and takeeach other out when they're
visiting. But it is just like, let's just
be around each other in our natural elements, and that's
when we're gonna actually find connection.
I think so. I feel like those mundane,
everyday moments are actually somuch more intimate.
I think it's a part of why sometimes I'm really in the mood
(13:34):
to go out for dinner, go out forbrunch.
And sometimes it doing that going out for a meal at a
restaurant feels way too like hermetically sealed, way too
stiff. And I would so much rather have
brunch at home and bop around and take our time and make food
together and roll around on the floor together after we've eaten
(13:57):
too much and zone out for a little bit.
And I'll go change the laundry. Like, I think there's you to
both kinds of Hangouts. But there's definitely an
intimacy that I think a lot of us are losing because we see our
friends less frequently. And so then when you do see
(14:17):
them, you're like, oh, we shouldgo do an event.
We should go to a concert, we should go to a dinner
reservation. And you lose these little
everyday moments, which are those moments that like the way
you hung out in college or the way you hung out in high school
and middle school, just being ateach other's bedrooms and stuff
like that. And I'm.
Yeah. I mean, I think this applies
(14:39):
even for my friends who live closer.
Like, I haven't. I guess I did.
I did have a sleepover with two of my girlfriends.
One of them was Abby. But Abby couldn't sleep in my
haunted home. And she went.
Wait when I was there. Yeah, I was the other
girlfriend. I think that's true.
You were the other girlfriend. But I, I do want to do it more
(14:59):
with, I don't think it has to besomeone who lives like 40
minutes away. I think it sounds like a
different way of hanging out, even with, you know, Abby who
lives down the street or something.
Totally. But I think what ends up
happening is like, like, I always want Kai to stay over.
She'll come over, she'll hang out like it's 11:00 PM, what are
(15:20):
we doing? But she lives pretty close.
She has a cat. She'd rather be in her own bed,
you know, And I get that. I would always rather be in my
own bed. And so it's just like, OK, let's
hang out until we're tired. It can be as late as we want.
And then she goes home. As an example.
Like, I feel like when people live in proximity enough, it's
very easy. Like even Abby going home,
(15:41):
'cause she couldn't sleep, it's like, yeah, cause 'cause she
could just walk home, it's so close, why wouldn't she just be
in her bed? Even though I think what you're
describing is absolutely right of like the sleepover vibe is
really fun and. I think you miss out on
something. It's OK.
It's OK. I know people have sleeping
problems. If you can't sleep over, like
it's not the end of the world, but I do think there's something
(16:03):
added there. I do too, like you.
Wake up and you're fresh. Yeah, like those stupid early
morning moments where you're like, groggy and like you never
get to see your friends like that.
And there's something hilarious about it.
Totally. Yeah, I really miss.
I mean, in college, that's you're so right about that.
That's all you do. You're just like in each other
in college, you're in the commonroom together.
(16:24):
You're you show up first thing in the morning.
You, I don't know, it's just like you're together all the
time. You're not just sitting, talking
at each other over a meal, doinga catch up of your week's
events. You're often, I feel like in
college hanging out, you're justlike working in parallel or
doing chores in parallel or holding space in a room in
parallel, in silence even. You're just like living near
(16:45):
each other. And then when you haven't seen a
friend for like 3 weeks and you catch up, of course it's going
to be let's sit, let's talk, let's blah blah.
And I almost feel like the extended hangout or the
sleepover or however you want todo it, it like exhausts you
enough where like you can get the catch up out of your system
and then you can just kind of like live next to each other.
And other things naturally come up that you wouldn't have said
(17:09):
in a regular catch up conversation too.
Like just naturally as you observe things or do things or
watch a movie and react to it orwhatever, Like more topics come
up than you would have had in a 2 hour dinner.
Yeah. You also mentioned like parallel
working and just sitting together and doing work.
Ryan and I don't usually do that, even though we're both
(17:31):
like working on our own stuff inthe house at the same time.
I'm usually up at my desk, he's usually at the kitchen table.
But yesterday or two days ago, Iwent and sat there with my
laptop and just like worked while he was working and I loved
it. I was like, this is the best
bonding. Like I felt more bonded or
something, 'cause we, we were sharing space but doing our own
(17:53):
things. But then we'd like, look up and
ask a question or comment on something we were doing.
It was just very, yeah. It like, it's a comfort thing
that reminds me of being youngerand being around your friends
and just all working at the sametable at the library together.
And yeah, he and I don't do thatvery much, but it was a nice
thing to rediscover and be like,hey, can we do this more?
(18:16):
Because first of all, I focus better when other people are
working around me. And second of all, it was just
like nice to share space. So I don't know, I need to try
more of these hacks. Like your other hack I always
think about for friendship and just like spending more time
together. That's not dinner catch UPS is
(18:39):
going to run errands with friends.
You and Abby have talked about that before.
Yeah, I'm not that good. I feel like I don't do it that
much. Right, it's a good idea.
Abby's really good at. Abby's really good at like the
brief like errand hanger run or something.
And I don't know, I, I, I feel bad.
(19:00):
I feel like I'm not very, I'm not very spontaneous.
It's like I usually have my daysblocked out so.
I do too. Hard.
Like back-to-back? I feel like it's hard.
I'm not very spontaneous, but. Yeah.
When we've done it, it's really sweet.
Yeah, it. Sounds great.
Get better at it. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe it would be easier in like
(19:20):
warmer months too. You know, for some reason in the
winter it's like I barely want to go run this errand.
Why would I text my friend to see if they want to leave their
house and go run this errand too?
But maybe in the summer when we can frolic.
I did something spontaneous the other day though that was turned
out great. There's this music venue in
(19:44):
Chicago near where I live calledThe Salt Shed, and it's a new,
really cool venue. And I follow them on Instagram
and they posted this like ticketgiveaway for a band that or an
artist that I don't listen to but I know of called Japanese
Breakfast. Apparently we're talking about
Abby. Justin loves them.
Really, Abby loves her or them too.
(20:08):
So anyway, I had heard about them, I knew people like them,
and it was like a free ticket giveaway and all you had to do
was comment your favorite cheese.
So I was like, sick Bree, it's Bree.
And I went on with my day. And wait, that's such a funny
engagement request. And I had no idea why it was
(20:29):
that they didn't really explain in the post like why that was.
The prompt. But whatever, it was easy to do,
so I did it, moved on with my life.
And then a couple days later they DM me that I won tickets.
And so Ryan and I went a couple nights ago.
We both don't listen to this artist.
We show up and like, first of all, there's like this cheese
(20:50):
spread. So I guess a cheese brand was
sponsoring this event or something.
So that's why they asked about cheese.
It was like all this free cheese, then it was free drinks
and then it was free premium seats to this show.
And it was really it was really random.
We went with no expectation. It was a Wednesday night.
(21:11):
Like it was so last minute and it was just like not anything
that we would have planned on because we didn't even listen to
this musician. And it ended up being so fun.
Like the night kept evolving, like we walk in and for the
first good sign is cheap. The night goes.
On yeah. And then we'd be like.
Was it Bree? Was it like all?
Bree. It wasn't Bree.
It was lots of cheddar. But you know, I like it all.
(21:34):
I'm. I'm here for it.
And it was free. And then like, yeah, the next
step was like, Oh my gosh, there's free drinks, too.
And then the next step was like,wait, there's this rooftop bar
that we can just, like, sit at and it's not too busy and we can
just walk right in. And then that's the opener for
Japanese Breakfast was this bandI had not heard of but Ryan
Knows called Ginger Root. And I loved them.
(21:56):
Like, I was really vibing honestly to them more than to
the main act. And I didn't know them before.
It was just one of those nights that like, wouldn't have
happened if I didn't just comment Bree on this random
Instagram post. The butterfly effect.
It was. So yes, it was.
It was really fun and it it scratched A spontaneity itch
(22:17):
that I don't often scratch. It was worth it.
That's one of those magical evenings that like, you couldn't
recreate it if you tried. The so much of the beauty of it
is like we had no expectation atall.
We literally were like, we'll go.
And if it's if for whatever reason we're not having fun,
(22:38):
we'll leave. Like we don't need to stay at
this the whole time. We didn't pay anything for it
and then we just kept staying because it kept getting better,
because maybe because we had no expectation for it.
OK, so I feel very firmly, and Imight be alone in this, but me
paying for tickets, paying for something, has almost no bearing
(23:01):
on whether I stay. If it sucks, if it sucks, why
was me staying doesn't get my money back.
I know a lot of people, a lot ofpeople feel this way and they're
like, well, we it was expensive.I'm like, OK, so we already lost
the money and now I'm losing my time at something that sucks
like this one time. Yes, my family went to this Bob
(23:23):
Dylan concert this a few years ago, which sounds like it could
be cool if you're not up to dateabout Bob, what Bob Dylan's
concerts are like now. And apparently this is known and
people are like furious about itand you can find stuff about it
on Reddit. But we showed up to this Bob
Dylan concert and it was like this like out in the grass, like
open air concert, like fun. Great.
(23:45):
Bring a picnic sounds amazing. And he was only singing.
He wouldn't sing any of his songs.
He wouldn't sing any of his songs.
He was singing like Frank Sinatra and like Elvis and then
he had some like gospel singer there and like the music was
(24:06):
good, but but talk about expectations.
He had completely and intentionally just said fuck
off. I don't care to the intention of
every an expectation of every single person who bought a
ticket as a fan and and he was also like pretty old and it and
his it is really hard to understand.
It's like nonsense listening to him saying it's just jarbled
(24:29):
nonsense. And my ex-boyfriend was there at
the time. And first of all, it was like
such a bad experience. Over half of the audience left
at a huge, like, Amphitheatre. Over half had left within like
30 minutes. It was that bad.
It was really crazy. It was really crazy.
(24:51):
It was to me, the craziest part was just seeing how much he was
like, I don't give a fuck what my fans what.
Like I'm tired of singing my songs which like.
Well, he also, he did go on tour.
You already paid. But he already made money.
It is interesting, then to, like, go on tour, take more
money and not be like, listen, I'm not singing.
Sing a single fucking song you want to hear.
(25:11):
And, yeah, he truly gave no face.
That was the funny part to me. And it was horrible.
And, like, ever. My parents were falling asleep,
like, everyone was leaving. And my ex at the time was like,
yeah, this is a known thing about his tours right now.
Like, people aren't, like, hate them.
It's like, really disappointing if you expect to go and see Bob
(25:32):
Dylan. And I was like, oh, shit, I had
no idea. And he was like, yeah, I didn't
want to say anything, but here we are.
And of course, my parents are very much like, we're going to
stay through the whole thing because.
And I'm just like, I don't understand why.
I don't understand why. Like, it sucks.
The money's gone. We're not getting what we
wanted. But staying here, like, we could
(25:52):
go do something else and we could actually resurrect this
evening. Still, staying doesn't get your
money back. I am so on the same page as you
but it's hard to find people whoagree.
I I feel like like. I know I.
Feel like I'm happy. Or you can't be the one to
propose it. Yeah, I'm always happy to leave.
I'm I go to places so that I go.Happy.
One time I had tickets to see somebody who I think is one of
(26:15):
the funniest people in the world, Fred Armisen.
I had tickets to go see him in DC and we show up did.
He disappoint. No, we show up and the line is
like, it's one of the longest lines I've ever seen to get into
a ticketed event. You know, like you would think I
have a ticket. I can just like, that's bizarre.
Get right through where the linewould be moving pretty quickly.
(26:37):
It was like, I think it was at 9:30 club and it was like all
the way around the corner, just huge.
And it was a Sunday night and I was really tired already.
Weird. We literally drove up in the
Uber. I looked at the line and I was
like, yeah, I'm not doing that right now.
Yeah, I know. We bought these tickets.
I didn't. I think he's hilarious.
(26:58):
I wanted to see him. But on that day, I did not have
the capacity to stand in that line, and I didn't.
And we went and got food and went home.
And I'm OK with that, you know? I feel great about that.
I'm like, I am advocating for myself.
Yes, the money's gone, bro. The money's gone.
Like I got the tickets for myself, so if myself no longer
(27:20):
wants to do that thing. OK, that's the treat.
I can give myself treats whenever I want.
I actually get. I don't know if I can think of a
single thing I would wait in a line for for more than 15
minutes. I agree.
I am so opposed to lines. If we show up to a bar and
there's a line, even if it's like five, if it's more than 5
people and it's not moving, it'smore than 50.
(27:41):
Like there's so many bars, why do we have to go into this bar?
And then usually you get in and there's nobody in there and the
line was just to make you feel like it was exclusive or
something. I hate it.
I also refuse to pay cover. It's pretty annoying.
I will not pay cover. I know sometimes you pay cover
for places that have live. Music trend going out, I feel
(28:02):
like that used to be more of a trend.
I do think it used to be more ofa thing, but I also.
Think they just can't get peoplein anymore.
And maybe ticketed event maybe like buying tickets ahead is
more of a thing because of COVIDLike them needing to know how
many people are going. To be there events.
Yeah, something. But I do think it's less common.
But there are some places like live music places that'll charge
(28:23):
cover. Guess what?
I can also go to a live music place that doesn't charge cover
and I will do that. I can also play Spotify.
Sorry, I don't know. I can also comment cheese on a
live music venue's Instagram posts and go for free.
I don't know. There's options.
I have options. That's so crazy.
(28:44):
I don't think I've ever won any kind of lottery.
I've won a couple. Are you someone who you know how
some people win stuff a lot? Yeah, I think I'm somewhere in
the middle. I I think I'm somewhere in the
middle. Like I've never won anything
huge. I guess I've never entered
anything huge. You want a life like a lifetime
supply of cheese. This.
(29:05):
Week. That's true.
That was big. Did you take the cheese with
you? I have won a couple Instagram
giveaways before of like this caliber, which is pretty chill.
I like that. For me, I think it's almost an
antiquated Instagram giveaways. I feel like we're really big
when Instagram was first becoming more popular, like when
we were in our 20s maybe. And I feel like they still
(29:28):
happen, but less so. And so it's almost a better time
to win them because less people are engaging with them than like
five years ago. That's how I feel.
So I still, I still, if it's easy enough for me to
participate in, then I'm in. There's there's no loss.
(29:51):
Spring I can't roll my Rs, Spring has sprung, spring has
sprung. And in the spring I am more
likely to eat vegetables and eatlike fresh, vibrant, colorful
foods And that is where HelloFresh comes in for me.
Every HelloFresh meal uses high quality ingredients, including
(30:13):
seasonal fresh produce. That's what I'm looking for in
the springtime. And all kinds of proteins.
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my schedule every week. And they send it all straight to
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You get to skip the grocery store.
You know that's huge for me. You know how it works, you
already know how it works. It's HelloFresh.
(30:35):
I've been using HelloFresh on and off for years and it is
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(30:55):
Free meals applied as discount on 1st box.
New subscribers only. Varies by plan.
That's not for everyone. Fully spelled out 10/FM
HelloFresh, Spring. Here's a question I've had
(31:17):
written down in my notes for a while.
OK, what? What is something that you
refuse to spend money on or likerefuse to upgrade or something?
We had this conversation. My family had this conversation
not too long ago so I'm trying to remember what my answer.
I think I have a bunch of them. Go for it while it'll jog my
(31:39):
memory. I don't have YouTube Premium.
People are always blown on people blown away by that.
It is funny that you of all people don't, but I guess just
because you create on YouTube doesn't mean that you need ad
free experience to watch on YouTube.
I mean, it's all I've ever knownis having ads, so I don't really
(32:00):
feel bothered by it. I don't know the.
Ad after like 5 seconds I don't care.
I, I mean, I'm almost a little, I wouldn't say I'm quite
miserly. I will definitely blow money on
clothes and on decor. But decor, I'm like, that's my
hobby and it's also my livelihood.
But other than that, it is really hard to sell me a
(32:20):
product. Well, I'm so the opposite.
I am the ultimate consumer. I feel like every time our
manager texts us about a brand and it's like, would you work
with this brand? I'm like, I already have seven
of their products because I useda different podcast code.
Like, you can always believe that I use the brands that we
advertise because I was using them from a different podcast
(32:42):
before I you can sell me anything.
That's so true. Yeah.
So I really am the ultimate consumer.
I'm getting better. I'm trying to cut down my
shopping. I feel like we've talked about
that, and I do think I'm gettingbetter at it, like clothing
shopping. But this question is hard for me
to answer because I do feel likeI'm one of those people that's
(33:02):
like, if I want it, I'll get it,you know?
Maybe it's not products or like maybe it's services or something
or like yes, I'm trying to think.
I feel like we all definitely have like weird things we will
not spend money on. Yeah, I don't know.
I can think of a bunch of them for other people in my life.
Like this question came up amongst my family and I couldn't
(33:26):
really think of anything on the spot.
But my mom, my mom was like, my mom said cucumbers.
She was like, I will go to a different grocery store to buy
cucumbers because I know that they're overcharging for them at
most grocery stores. I will go to like the small
Lebanese market where they're, you know, charging less for
them. Ryan is similar to that, being
(33:48):
that he's been a chef. He shops that like he'll go to
like 7 different grocery stores to get our groceries because he
knows what places mark up thingsat what rates.
That's just too much. Well, I remember him saying.
I remember him saying telling methat he will not eat chicken
wings. Out with you, right?
Because he knows. Because.
(34:08):
He's like, he's like, it's the cheapest thing to make and
they're way overpricing it and he's like, I can't make myself
pay. Exactly like a wing should be
less than a dollar one wing but you're paying for.
Well, not if you're running a business well.
Exactly, but it's one of the things they mark up more than
anything else. Yeah.
But but as a chef, shouldn't he also appreciate the economics of
(34:31):
like things that have to be havea higher margin and things that
have to have a lower margin in order to sustain the very slim
margins of a business? Yes and no.
SO. Restaurant.
There's 2 answers. Yes, he yes, true, he has a deep
understanding of that. But also when he was running a
restaurant, he was very staunch about wanting to price things as
(34:54):
fairly as possible, obviously making money but still having
very fair pricing compared to other places.
Like that's like a value of his.So he would try to cut, cut
spend in other places in order to be able to like make the menu
items a good cost. So that's just like him.
And then I think also for us as a like as people who eat food,
(35:18):
he knows that he can make it. So he's like, we're not going to
go out and buy a plate of $20 wings when I can get wings, make
them myself. I would probably like them
better and I'd spend a fraction of the cost on it.
But I love to go get wings. So I just go with other people.
I'll always go get wings with you.
(35:38):
Cute. You know, I'll tell you one
thing that I get really mad at how expensive it is and I'll
like put it off until the last minute contact.
Me. Eye contact.
What the fuck is the deal? They just know that you need
them to see and so they'll charge you however much they
want. I get very mad about it.
(36:00):
I will put it off. I'll wear my glasses to the gym,
which I hate doing, for like a week or two before I finally
succumb to the fact that OK, I need to finally order the
contacts for $500. I was gonna say, how much do you
pay? I probably pay like it's close
to $1000 for a year of contacts.Yeah, it probably, it's like I
(36:22):
think I probably am like around 700 for a year of contact.
I got the dailies. Dailies definitely got more
expensive and like that was something that I definitely so
many people told me to get dailies.
I also have super dry eyes. They're irritated all the time.
I have bad spring allergies. When I went on Accutane, it like
(36:43):
permanently dried my eyes out. I was like addicted to eye
drops. And so many people told me like
get the dailies. It's the best gift to yourself.
And I like that. It was, it took me like 10 years
to decide to upgrade because I was like, I just have this
mentality of like, oh, but I have something that works.
It's more money and I'm and theneventually I was like, this is
(37:04):
my fucking health. It's my health, my eyesight, my
physical comfort, every single yeah.
Why is this what I'm skimping on?
And it sucks that they're so overpriced, but even something
like that, I think I only switched to dailies like in the
last two years, and now I don't have to.
I don't have irritated eyes. I don't carry eye drops around
(37:25):
anymore. Like, it fixed all these medical
issues totally, but I wouldn't do it.
I get it. Yep.
I totally get it. I feel like I owe I only
recently started using an electric toothbrush.
Like only within the last six months or something.
Yeah, still not. There.
(37:46):
Oh my God, the other day I brushed my teeth and I I like
put it down and I was like, I can't believe it took me this
long to start using an electric toothbrush.
I don't know man. I put it off for so long I was
like I'm going to have to buy refill brush heads.
Like annoying. I guess that was my line with
(38:06):
spending, even though I was buying new toothbrushes all the
time. I'm getting these cavities
filled in the meantime. Right.
It's so much better. It's so elite.
I don't even know how to explainit.
It's so I feel that my mouth is cleaner.
I feel like it's actually doing something.
When I brush my teeth, it's verysatisfying.
And it's not more. I mean, like, you buy the thing,
(38:29):
but then it's one and done and then you get the brush heads.
I don't know. It's not that It's not a big
cost. It's worth it, yeah.
There's a great saying that I think I I heard from interior
design people, but who knows where it originated of.
Buy once, cry once. Just like yeah, instead of doing
like the cheaper shittier version, yes, buy.
(38:51):
Buy the proper thing. Buy it one time.
You can cry when you buy it, andthen you'll never have to
replace it with a shitty versionagain.
Buy once, cry once. Oh my gosh, Now I'm going to go
buy those Euro shams that I've been wanting.
We're we're like redoing our, the big square pillows.
Yeah, we're doing redoing our bedding.
(39:13):
And that's one of those things where you could spend a lot of
money on bedding or you could not.
And I've just decided to go for it.
Dog. Oh, I know.
Pay for it. I know I was at IKEA the other
day and I love IKEA so much. I was there prepping for a room
makeover that I'm working on andthe one thing I will not buy
(39:36):
from IKEA is they're sheets. They're so bad.
And it's like, OK, they're technically sheets and they
make, I can't make so many otherthings I love.
But what I have to feel that it's a tactile experience that
I'm going to have every night and every morning and all night
long. Yeah, Nah, bro.
We're going in on it right now and I'm gonna use that buy once,
(39:57):
cry once mentality because. Buy once.
Is an investment but then I'm gonna have the bet I like have a
vision of the bed of my dreams with all the layers and all the
pillows and all the colors that I want like I've perfected it in
my head and yeah once I once I get everything in or I'll like
make a little drawing for you toshow you but.
(40:17):
Drawing. Why don't you just send me a
photo with your camera? I guess I will, but it's gonna
take a while for it to get in cause some of the stuff I
ordered is like not shipping until June.
Whatever, there's a lot going on.
That's good. Yeah.
Draw it. Draw it.
For me, I'll draw it for you. Draw it for me first, Draw it
for you. Don't leave me waiting in
suspension. I don't want to do that to you.
Yeah, I don't want to do that. OK.
(40:37):
Baby, OK. Oh, I did something stupid the
other day. This is just a small thing.
Cool. Well, I just, I think this is
something I've been doing. I don't think it was the first
time I've done this, but I cognitively realized what it
was. I was on my phone in one app,
maybe I was on Instagram, and then it made me think of, oh, I
(41:00):
need to go do that other thing. So I went to a different app,
like the Chrome app or somethingto look up this other thing.
But once I got to the Chrome app, I couldn't remember why I
was there. And I had to go back to
Instagram to remember why I was going to Chrome.
And it just clicked for me that like, that's the new modern day
(41:21):
version of going into a room andforgetting why you were there.
It was bizarre and like having to retrace your steps.
I was like, EW, it's that. But I'm I'm just laying here on
my phone like an ass. Oh, I was trying to trying.
I was trying to Google why are tomatoes red?
(41:43):
And but now I've forgotten this important impressing question.
Literally it was something like that.
It was like, why is this where my brain energy is going?
You know what made my day, Speaking of Internet stuff is
yesterday when you texted me or like we were texting in the
morning to coordinate when we were gonna record the new
episode and you were like, yeah,Friday works like all caps.
(42:06):
You were like, I'm sorry, I'm really hyper.
No, you didn't apologize but yousaid I'm really hyper cause I've
been scrolling on my phone on inbed all morning or something.
I was like, what is this versionof Caroline?
So hype. I was so hyper I don't usually
get hyper in the morning. It was really weird I think I
got like I got like a full 11 hours of sleep I was laying in
bed. I had nothing to do all day
(42:27):
long. I had not a single thing
scheduled for the day and I'm and I was just laying in bed
scrolling and giggling and like I was just having the time.
Oh my gosh, you even look so happy now describing it.
You're so happy having. The time of my life.
I've had some great days. I'm wrapping up my work break,
(42:48):
My YouTube work break. Yeah, what?
What and I've just had. What's been the time?
Great time. How would you describe the time?
And yeah, so I, I think for the last two years, this is the
third year that I've taken like 1 condensed break from doing
YouTube because videos take a couple weeks to make.
So taking like a week vacation, it doesn't really work.
(43:10):
Like you're still always workingon something.
And so I found like I kind of just take my break all at once,
more so than most of my vacations during the year.
I usually work a good amount of them.
So this is how I took my vacation and it's good creative
recharge and just like vision casting for the next year and
(43:31):
getting bored and la, la, la, everybody always asks me if I
travel. I don't want to travel.
That's more work. That's more work.
Don't want to do that. My goal is really to like get
myself bored. Boredom is so important for a
creative recharge. And I did a lot of
needlepointing, is that? Me needlepointing for you or
(43:54):
have you done that? Maybe in the last year I started
making these like needlepoint belts for Justin.
Oh, interesting, that's. Cute.
They're pretty cool. Yeah, they're pretty cute.
And it's really fun. It's really meditative.
I thought we talked about this 'cause it's like knitting where
you can't be on your phone. Yeah, you can't be on your
phone. Your hands are occupied.
(44:14):
Yeah. It just really helps.
Doing that activity really helpsme like, I don't know, like get
in touch with a certain light level of my self-conscious, not
self-conscious subconscious. Maybe like I'm Justin.
I also we will like read books together.
We're reading this like murder mystery book and we'll get in
(44:37):
bed at night and like one of us will be reading out loud.
And if he's reading out loud it is nearly impossible for me to
just sit there and listen and donothing.
It is really hard for me to justfucking do nothing.
I zone out so hard and I just miss.
I'm always asking him to reread pages, but if I'm needlepointing
(44:58):
while he reads, I have no problem listening and.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if it's an ADD thing or what because my mom
told me when I was, she remembers when I was a kid and
she would read stories out loud when we were like, you know,
four or five or whatever. Elizabeth would like sit really
nicely next to her and like, listen and just be a good little
(45:19):
girl. And I would be like manic all
over the room, just like doing activities and playing with
dolls and doing puzzles. And she thought I was like
ignoring the book. But then every time we'd sit
down to read, she'd be like, where did we leave off?
And I would just like, rattle off exactly where we were.
But it really helps me focus actually in a way, and
concentrate. I don't know if some people
(45:40):
relate to that. Anyway, I've been doing pretty
much nothing. I've been working out, I've been
hanging with J dog. I've been seeing my family a
little bit, but also not too much because I'm working on
having better boundaries with them.
Wonderful. I visited like my elderly violin
teacher who I've been missing meaning to visit.
(46:01):
I did a ton of doctor's appointments.
I'm getting a tattoo removed. I did a lot of wedding planning.
I did a lot of like To Do List items.
That's good. But yeah, it's all stuff that
like you wanted to do, To Do List items that you want to do,
you just don't always have. Yeah, that I.
Wanted. I just didn't have time.
Yeah, that's great. I was really relating to how you
(46:22):
talked about the reading and notbeing able to pay attention.
Like it's the reason that I prefer audio books or I prefer
podcasts because I can move around, I can clean the house, I
can be driving or walking. I can be.
The movement can help you focus.Yeah, even just fiddling, you
know, I pick, we both are pickers of our cuticles and
stuff like. I think that's part of the
reason that I do that, because if.
(46:44):
I maybe it's just somewhere to direct your.
Attention somewhere to direct myenergy.
Like Ryan has noticed that aboutme.
At first he thought me picking up my cuticles and my nails and
stuff was like an anxious tendency, like when I would be
anxious emotionally. And then he started to realize
as he observed it more, that it's like, it might be anxious
(47:05):
energy, but it's not that I'm having an anxiety attack or
something. It's just like I'm restless and
I need somewhere to put my focus.
Yes, that is a really good way of putting.
It yes, there's like different ways anxiety comes up there.
It's there's restlessness and then there's like emotional
anxiety. And he was conflating it for
that for a while. And then he I was like, I don't
(47:25):
think so. Justin has assumed, too.
Yeah, I don't think that's always what it is.
And then and we kind of landed on that, which is why I tried to
start knitting. It's why I got this like I got
this little thing on Etsy that'slike this gooey.
I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast ever.
It's this gooey thing that has abunch of beads in it and you
(47:46):
pick out the beads and it like simulates the feeling of picking
at your cuticles kind of, but you're not destroying your
hands. You're picking at this other
thing. And you can do it while watching
TV or whatever. Yeah.
I just feel like I need something to do with my hands a
lot of the times. And I'm trying to make it not
phone stuff, anything but phone.But I really get that.
(48:10):
We have also tried. Have you shared that with?
Me using the like. Beep Yeah, I use.
It. I use it, yeah, it is kind of
like a pimple popper like vibe to it.
I can find the name of it and put it in the description.
I reach for it sometimes when we're watching TV in bed.
I really like it. It's really like it's really
(48:30):
satisfying and just kind of fun.Does it get all like dirty?
Like I'm thinking of like, it's not called splooge.
What is like? Like slime?
Slime. Not slime, it's.
Not just. Is it like it covered in like
dirt and dust and hair and stuff?
No, I mean, I keep it in a little bag, like a little makeup
(48:53):
bag type of thing in my bedside table.
So it hasn't really. And it also comes in this little
plastic holder and it's not likea slime ball that's as like
sticky, malleable and sticky. It's like not as sticky as that.
And it's, it's really like a thin flat piece of that type of
(49:13):
material. So I don't know, it doesn't get
gross. I kind of want want to make you
pick all these beads out and they're really.
Cute beads. So how many are there?
Friendship bracelets. There's probably hundreds.
Like it's a lot of beads. The other thing I wanted to
mention though, about what you were talking about is that you
have said, I don't know if it's on the podcast or just between
(49:34):
us before how you and Justin read to each other.
And Ryan and I tried that out recently and it was so great.
Oh my God, I'm so happy. I thought you're going to say
you hated it. No, it's amazing.
I loved it. Yeah, I loved it.
I I don't remember what we were.I think he wanted to read
(49:58):
something before bed. He's much more of a physical
book reader than I am. And he was reading a book of
like short stories, like quick or quick essays or something.
And I wanted to hang out, but hewanted to read it.
And I was like, OK, can you readit to me Then?
Can I like be involved and you read it to me?
Yeah, short stories are a good one.
Yeah. And so he was like, sure, I
(50:19):
thought I would get more pushback, but I didn't.
And then I was like, all right, and I got all cozy and listened
and it was so nice because I am more of an auditory learner, so
I could pay attention. He likes to read.
So he was doing that. It felt like we were doing
something together, but also kind of able to be in our own
(50:40):
worlds and think about what we're hearing and what we're
reading separate from each other.
And I love his voice and like, Ilove voices in general.
So I just like enjoyed hearing him read.
Like, he even started to get into a little bit of like,
narration and voices of characters and whatever.
Yeah, just deepening his voice at some points and whatever.
And I was like, what? This is cute.
I didn't expect you to do that. So it was really high.
(51:03):
Recommended. I'm so glad you liked it.
I thought you were going to say you didn't like it, but.
No, it was great. It is amazing.
It's so nice. I it's a, it's kind of like the
adult sleepover thing I was talking about in the beginning
of the episode where it's like, I'm sure intellectually you can
picture doing it, but it is hardto describe how much more fun
(51:24):
and colorful and special and intimate it feels to actually do
it. And I think it's for us, it
takes the place of watching TV shows together.
I watch plenty of TV, but Justinreally does not.
And I don't know. So I think a lot of couples do
that together, which is totally fine.
Actually. We are watching love on the
(51:45):
spectrum and we're both loving it.
So we will watch ATV show if we can find one we both like.
But I think we're both just so like unimpressed with most of
the television out there. And then reading a book
together, it's like the book doesn't have to be, I think to
enjoy ATV show together, the TV show has to be great or really
good. But to read a book?
(52:07):
Together. Or really bad.
Yeah. I think for to read a book
together, it's like we can enjoya pretty decent one.
There's so much more to it. We're stopping every other
paragraph to, like, talk shit about the narrator or the author
or compare it to this other book.
Or, like, murder mysteries we found.
Like certain books are definitely better for reading
together, like something that islike a little more energy, good
(52:29):
pacing, like a murder mystery ora thriller, romantic ones.
What's one that didn't read well?
There were some. There were some that weren't as
good to read. There's definitely some books
that are not as good to read outloud.
I think the more characters and adventure you have is really
(52:52):
fun. And the hardest part is probably
finding the book that we're bothexcited about.
But that's the hardest part. But if you can find that
overlap, 'cause we don't, we have some overlap, we don't have
a ton of overlap. Like most of his stuff I don't
want to fucking read. And he, I mostly read non
fiction, which he doesn't really.
(53:12):
So that's the hardest bit. But it's so sweet.
It's so intimate. It's.
So. Intimate, really erotic.
Sometimes it's just sweet, yeah.I love it.
It's really cozy. Yeah.
Yeah, I really. Laying together in.
I really loved it. I really, really.
I would have never thought of it.
And I think that's partly because I'm just not much of A
(53:33):
reader and partly because, yeah,I've just never done it with
anyone before. Like, I don't even, I mean, my
parents obviously read to us when we were little, but I think
that kind of stopped at some point.
Like it was when we were really little and then they just, it
wasn't a big thing in our house.Reading wasn't really a big
thing as much as my family is very about like academics and
(53:53):
education and learning. Yeah, that's.
Interesting. It just, I mean, it was like, do
your schoolwork reading, but it wasn't casual reading.
And so yeah, that's just like really wasn't on my radar at all
until you mentioned it to me. And there was just a natural
moment when I recommend I like suggested it to Ryan and we
really we really liked it. We do, that being said, watch so
(54:16):
much TV, which I obviously they're just different.
Well, I don't think. He loves, Yeah, I think there's.
Different. They're different activities.
They're different activities. Yeah, they are.
Completely different activities,yeah.
OK, baby doll, you think it's time to wrap it up?
Let's wrap it up. And I feel like we got some cute
messages and reviews that we never shout out and even though
(54:39):
we ask for them all the time because we're thirsty little
hoes. But we should give back and
thanks some people for some really sweet.
We've got like a couple really sweet ones that I think are
worth reading. Yeah, these are they they.
I was really like, kind of knocked over, floored by some of
the reviews we got recently. They made me so happy.
I think there's two we'd like toshare.
And yeah, we don't. I think it usually feels
(55:00):
awkward. I don't want to be, like,
Tooting our horn, but some of these reviews just made me feel
like, wow, we're not just in a vacuum.
Like there's a lot of people wholisten to this podcast and it
does something for them, even though sometimes we're just
being vapid whores. Yeah, OK.
We got one review. Five stars.
Think fucking thank God, please.The review is titled Love it and
(55:23):
they said very, very good. Inspired me to think about,
inspired me to think about my life further.
And I ended an abusive relationship as a result of
listening to this podcast. This podcast has helped me so
much to think about myself and people in a different light.
It's OK that I've made mistakes.I'm not a bad person for doing
(55:45):
some bad things. Same as other people.
Listening has brought me so muchpiece.
I got goosebumps. What the?
Fuck. We've gotten more messages than
I can believe of people saying things like, I ended a
relationship, I ended up an abusive relationship, I'm
getting divorced. Like I, you know, stood up to my
(56:08):
mom. I did this or that.
The other changed careers. Yeah.
It's really, really cool. That's like that's something
that I'm, I don't know, I don't even know how to process.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
It was really lovely to read. We appreciate you.
We appreciate OK, this e-mail was my favorite thing of the
(56:28):
week. So we got this e-mail titled big
thanks from a guy, which is likethe most guy title too.
I loved it. I was like, oh, he really is a
guy. Let's.
Get big thanks. Big thanks.
This had guy here in his early 30s.
Not your usual demographic I'm sure.
Found the pod a few weeks ago from Caroline's YouTube channel.
He was looking at your single Bachelor Living video.
(56:51):
Oh, the Reddit video, Yeah. Yeah, and I'm so glad I did.
I originally started listening to the dating and relationship
Advice episode since hearing thegeneralized woman perspective on
many topics and situations felt like gaining access to forbidden
knowledge that I shouldn't have.And while I'm sure listening to
many of those episodes and trying to internalize the
lessons from them is making me abetter potential partner, just
(57:14):
listening to your unfiltered andhonest girl talk regardless of
the topic has helped me to startunderstanding when the women in
my life so much more. It's making me a better brother,
a better friend, a better Co worker.
I think a lot of guys would benefit massively from hearing
perspectives like yours. Love you ladies para socially.
Anyway. That was just so cool to see.
(57:35):
Incredible. To to hear that I don't know
like I felt it was worth readingand please send it to your other
guy friends. That would be cool like.
It made me so happy because really the thing I care about
most, I think is like helping young women in some of the areas
(57:56):
that I think they're robbed. I think it's what both of us end
up talking about a lot on this podcast.
And this is a podcast for all people.
But a majority, of course, is inspired by like experiences
that young women, really women of all age, but especially young
women, cause those are the ages we can reflect on at this age in
our life. Yeah, inspired by that.
(58:16):
And I knew there's definitely male listeners and especially
guys who listen with their girlfriends or their wives and
really enjoy it. But to add.
But I just was thinking that as the exception.
And I've also always thought about like, is there some kind
of like charity or organization or initiative that I could
start, something meaningful thatI could do, like with the
(58:39):
platform I have and the things that I care about?
And to hear that like us shooting the shit and talking
honestly about nuanced and messyand sometimes ugly and sometimes
angry and very honest, like female topics and concerns.
(59:02):
Let's men who listen understand the female brain more like it to
me doesn't even feel like we're doing anything.
I kind of I'm I'm sometimes like, what the fuck else would
people talk about on a podcast? But I also don't know other
podcasts who do it. And, and I mean, that gave me
such a sense of like purpose andand hope and meaning and like, I
(59:25):
would like to do more with that.And that's everything to me.
Like there, there is so much in like our female brains that I
just wish more guys could understand.
And that actually, like, really meant the world to me and it
made me really hopeful. Yeah, it was very hopeful
message. I feel like I've even run into a
couple guys in Chicago who have recognized me from the podcast,
(59:48):
and it is so in like, you know, you look at the percentages and,
you know, it's mostly women, butyou know, there's guys listening
too. And then to actually hear from
them and, like, put a face to the name and hear how it's
helped them, 'cause I can imagine being a woman.
I can imagine how it would help a woman.
(01:00:09):
A lot of what I'm motivated by, yeah, is like, I want to hear a
voice that maybe I didn't hear when I was younger.
I want to hear somebody talk honestly about certain things
that nobody was talking honestlyabout when I was dealing with
them or when I was figuring themout.
And so I get that very much likethe value it brings to a woman
(01:00:31):
'cause that's what I'm consciously wanting to create.
But the added value for a guy, especially the week after our
ick episode, I'm like thank you for being here.
He emailed that to us. It's actually, we had just
recorded our ick episode, which was not just about men, but you
know, we am underway on men because it's a lot of women who
(01:00:51):
listen. And then the next day just
forwarded me that e-mail and I was like, should we still
release this episode? Sorry to that man, but not.
Sorry to that man. Sorry to that man.
Sorry to that man. Sorry to those man.
Sorry to that man. It's the alternative title for
this podcast. I know, but.
It, yeah, it would really make me really happy, yeah.
(01:01:14):
Yeah. Thanks guys.
Thanks for being here. Thanks for.
Leaving sweet reviews and sweet emails and just so you know you
can always we've been getting some messages on Instagram of
like where do I go to send a what to do right here.
You're there, girl. If you're already in the DMS,
you're in the right place. So DM us.
You could also e-mail us the emails in our description and
(01:01:36):
also on our Instagram. Any of your water do's, any of
your hot take requests, any of your episode topic requests for
a for you or anything else, justanything you want to share that
feels relevant. We check them all out and we
appreciate you and we'll talk toyou soon.
See ya like this.
(01:02:04):
Oh bro. Get your finger under it.
Oh, Oh yeah, yeah, girl, that's correct.
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