Go to https://zocdoc.com/notforeveryone to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
Check out SKIMS best intimates including the Fits Everybody Collection and more at https://www.skims.com/notforeveryone #skimspartner
__
Turn out the lights and get comfy, because today is a total sleepover-vibe episode. Jess and Caroline discuss weird-shaped cookie cutters, baking reality tv, and the satisfaction of untangling a necklace, before diving deeper on their thoughts about Love on the Spectrum.
This conversation leads them to ruminate on how different generations interact with the internet and how seeing ourselves more affects us in good and bad ways. Plus, they discuss some “gross girl books,” the cons of audiobooks, and of course, Beyonce. Nighty night, kooks!
This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse).
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video:
youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
You can DM us there or submit topics for an upcoming episode to not4everyonepod@gmail.com.
And don't forget about our APPAREL:
nfepodapparel.com
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I feel that I need something to do with my time at the end of
the work day that is not towardsany personal goal, you know,
That's not the podcast, that's not like going to the gym,
that's not about any of my relationships.
Just something that like literally passes the time for me
(00:23):
only. Welcome back.
This is not for everyone. I'm Jess, your lover.
That's Caroline, your hater. It's podcast hosted by a lover
and a hater. We have like an announcement.
(00:43):
I think we have a little bit of housekeeping up top.
Wow, we're so excited. OK, We got a special gift for
the podcast that we decided we wanted to do as a gift.
We're a gift on. We are doing a special podcast
gift this summer, which is goingto be a special summer dating
(01:04):
series. It's going to be all about the
dramas of dating and breakups and trying to like, not lose
your fucking mind when trying tofind love, which is so hard.
Exasperating. The funniest thing to me is that
right now you and I are sitting here in like big sweatshirts,
(01:26):
greasy faces like we're and we're like, we have dating
advice for you this summer. But I think that that means that
it's going to be better because we'll be real about it, you
know? What does the greasiness of my
face have to do with whether or not I haven't?
I'm sorry about the greasy face.I'm really speaking for my own
greasy face, but I don't know, you know what I'm saying.
(01:47):
We're we got grease going? On I think the greasiness of the
face is inversely proportionate to the pain in your dating.
So get that grease up, girls andboys and anybody else.
But we are, we're still going tobe doing regular episodes
through the summer, but we're going to have May through
September, 1 episode a month. That's part of the special
(02:08):
series. We're not going to share too
much more now, but starting at the end of this month, the month
of May, year of our Lord, through till September, I
believe we're doing. We're working on something
special so y'all can get hitched.
Totally. And I think what we need is some
(02:28):
DM, some emails, some whatever. Just start sending us your
dating. What it do's the topics that
you'd like us to talk about in adating series.
We're right now putting togetherwhat that looks like, what the
themes are, and we're going to ask for your input.
But you can start sending stuff to us right now 'cause it'll
help inform the planning. We want to make sure that it's
(02:48):
like what you need, what the people want.
So yeah. And I do highly recommend follow
us on Instagram because that's where we're going to be posting
polls for every episode, once a month for every episode in the
dating series. We're going to be soliciting
(03:09):
specific dating topics. So if you really want your
dating what a do or question answered, find the topic that
suits you and you'll be more likely to be featured.
So again, our Instagram is not for everyone pod with the number
4. Keep up there, you can submit
your what to do. It's going to be crazy sexy
good. Crazy sexy good.
(03:31):
I love that. Maybe that's the name of it.
Speaking of crazy sexy good, I have to tell you what I spent
two hours doing the other night.2 hours crazy sexy good.
Have have any guesses? I'm two hours.
Was it sex? No, no.
(03:51):
Well, that was my only guess because based on.
The IT was untangling a necklace.
I spent two hours untangling a necklace and the only thing I
have to show for it other than an untangled necklace that I can
wear now is that I was like, I guess I'll mention this on the
podcast. Just a quick mention.
I don't think we're going to have a conversation about it
(04:12):
unless, I mean, I don't know, you surprised me.
Sometimes we can maybe we can maybe go on a tangent, but I
just needed to say it somewhere you need.
To say to get to it, exercise yourself of this this.
Experience. I need to be free of it cause
I've been thinking about it every day since it happened.
Two hours. Was it worth it?
(04:32):
Little reflecting back? Would you do it again?
It was satisfying. There is kind of an orgasmic,
like once you get to the end, the last knot that's in that
necklace chain, there's a release.
That happens for sure. So I do think it was satisfying.
At the same time, Ryan was sitting next to me in bed for
(04:53):
the whole 2 hours, just like reading, like we could have been
doing something more crazy, sexy, good.
And that's not what my ADD wanted to do that night.
So that's not what we did. This sounds to me like it might
have scratched the same itch as our shared bad habit of picking
our cuticles. Or that like pimple popper thing
(05:14):
gadget you have like you just need.
You just need somewhere to fiddle like a chipmunk at all
times. It's it's actually, it was, it
was achieving that because in that two hours, I wasn't picking
at my hands. I was looking at something with
an end goal. But there needs to be better
technology for keeping necklacesstraight that nothing had.
(05:36):
Like I bought this necklace and then it was in the little baggie
that it comes in when you buy it, and then I took it out to
wear it and it was in 17 knots like nothing had occurred other
than it existing in the bag thatit was sold to.
Me. Yeah.
Interesting. I feel like you need.
There has to be some kind of device.
(05:58):
There must be. Should I Google this or do we
not care? I don't know.
Somebody will tell us. Even when we Google stuff and
like find an answer, we still get Adm that tells us the same
thing. So I'll just let them.
I'm going to do it anyway. I'm just going to piss them off
and do it anyway. Hold on.
Tool to keep necklaces untangled.
(06:19):
I think the best anyone can do seems to be like a tray where
you lay the necklace out long style.
But they could still get, they could still get kind of mixed
up. Yeah.
Where's the necklace? Where do you technology if I
have like 20 necklaces so I justneed my whole room needs to be
trays for my for my necklaces. Yeah, I've complained about
(06:41):
jewelry storage, which is that Idon't like a giant jewelry box.
I'm just like, what's this fucking box doing here?
Yeah, totally, I would. Have a giant box on my dresser.
It's huge. Or else you have to have a bunch
of little jewelry trays which iskind of actually have a mix of
both, which is the worst of all worlds.
And then it's like I don't know what jewelry is on what tray.
(07:04):
This isn't really a a big problem, like my life is still
pretty good despite this, but itis annoying.
To me, I have my jewelry spread out and I hate that.
I hate that it's spread out. I want it all in one place at
the same time. I don't really want to have a
jewelry box that's just like outall the time.
(07:26):
So I have a small jewelry container on my night stand and
it's like it contains the thingsthat I wear most often and then
I have jewelry storage in my closet.
But the problem is I have a lot of cool other jewelry in that
box in my closet and I don't think of wearing it because it's
put away in a box. Anyway.
(07:47):
I I am bothered by it because I'm trying to accessorize more.
I think people like, I guess people do like what do you, how
do you feel about like a, a necklace tree or one of those
things you hang on the wall, then they just like hang from
the wall. I don't really want to see my
stuff hang on the wall. I want to see it.
It's just like. Glitter cobwebs.
I don't like it. That's.
Exactly what it is. That's exactly what it makes me
(08:08):
feel. Yeah, I've had those before.
And it doesn't do the trick for me.
Like, I like things to be put away.
I think I generally like everything to have a place and
everything to be able to be put away and like hidden from view.
But I want to be able to very quickly, like open that thing.
I don't know, I probably just need whatever it's.
(08:29):
I'm not going to solve the problem right now.
I want to move on. I am upset about it though and
it is affecting my life. It is a, it's a funny thing
because it's one of those thingswhere it's like it's in that
weird middle ground of like a problem that we all have and
there isn't really a great solution to it.
(08:50):
But it's also like not enough ofa problem for there to be like
research grants towards it. So I don't know.
I don't know if we're going to have like great technology
coming out. It just has to be like some
bored house homemaker at home fiddling around who's like tired
of looking at their kids but also tired of looking at their
(09:10):
jewelry and decides to Jerry rigsome kind of device.
So then. What was that movie?
I think it had Jennifer Lawrenceabout exactly like The
Homemaker. Or something.
Yeah, she invented a lot of things.
She invented those hangers for clothing that are like felt so
that your clothing sticks to it.And I think she had a couple
(09:33):
other inventions. I love those too.
So I need someone like that to come up with this solution.
Be the change you want to see inthe world, Jess.
I don't want to. I'm so tired.
I'm so tired. I do want to be silly though.
Let me see what other silly bitsI have.
Oh. OK.
(09:54):
No, no, you go, you go, you go, you go.
No, I'm the What I'm going to say is certainly stupid.
No, please, then please. OK, I just wanted to share that
I came across this subreddit, this forum on Reddit that's it's
just called What's my cookie cutter?
And people, people just share cookie cutters that they have
(10:16):
that are a confusing shape and they don't know what what shape
it's supposed to be like what the animal or figure is supposed
to be. And then people, and then people
try to solve it for them. I have a lot of questions.
Are these cookie cutters that were like passed down through
the generations and that's why they don't know?
(10:36):
They don't have like the original box or something.
Right. They didn't buy it, and then
maybe they even kind of got deformed, like if it's those old
metal ones that you can bend. They're not deformed, they're
just crazy cookie cutters. Like it's fun to watch them salt
'cause you look at the shapes and you're like, that's not
anything that couldn't possibly be anything.
That's just like an amorphous BLOB.
(10:57):
And then somebody knows, like somebody else in the forum has
the original box of the same cookie cutter set from the 70s.
And it's like a special edition where of like snowmen dressed as
reindeer carrying like a pile ofthree presents.
(11:19):
And then it's also like Disney themed and it has mouse ears.
It's something like that. And they'll show the they'll
show the image of it. And so many of them, they're
like, why was this? Why was it?
How is this ever a satisfying cookie cutter?
I guess it wasn't 'cause they didn't really stand the test of
time. There's only a few out there.
I also wanna see. Do they show you what the actual
cookie turns out to look like? Oh, the.
(11:41):
Cookie. You know, 'cause I feel like, I
don't know, maybe if it's a cookie in the cookie form, I
would be able to tell more because some cookie cutters have
those imprints that imprint in the cookie dough on top of it to
the shape. Yeah.
Yeah, these ones are just shapes, Jess.
And I think what makes it bullshit, I think what makes it
bullshit, a bullshit cookie cutter, is that it only is
(12:06):
reminiscent of that thing if youcolor it in with icing the right
way, right? Like the cookie doesn't reveal
any of its secrets. The cookie the there, there's
nothing in the cookie. Do you watch Is it Cake or have
you ever watched it? I've heard of it.
Wait, explain. Is it explain?
It again, OK, I don't watch it but I know about it and
(12:26):
Instagram feeds me clips of it. So basically like it's this show
on Netflix where these cake decorators make very intricate
cakes that are shaped like real life objects and decorated like
real life objects, so much so that you can put the real life
object next to it and not be able to tell which one is real.
(12:49):
That's interesting. And then I think the show, I've
not actually watched the show, but I think it's a little bit of
like a game show format where somebody has to come on and
guess and maybe I don't know. And they have to like look at it
up close but they can't touch itI assume.
Yeah, something like that. I've also seen on Instagram,
there's somebody I started following an artist, like a
sketch artist, who he'll have like half of a lemon and then
(13:15):
he'll draw the other half of thelemon.
So he'll have half of a lemon sitting on a piece of paper.
And then he'll fill in the otherhalf of a, a lemon with his like
pencils, colored pencils and everything and all the shading
he does and whatever. And when it's complete, it
literally looks like a whole lemon.
It's so crazy. I don't know why this is like a
(13:38):
fascinate. There's a part of the human
brain that finds this stuff fascinating, but I have that
part of my brain for sure. Man, when that dude finds out
about photography, he's going tolose his fucking mind.
Over for you bitches. Yeah, it's really cool.
I think there's something thoughto like a return to simpler art
(14:02):
forms like non technology art. Forms cake based.
Art cake. You know what they did in the
olden days with cakes? They made ATV out of a cake in
the olden days for sure. Yeah, I don't know how I feel
about. I definitely get like the the
gimmick of both of those are fun.
(14:22):
Like it's definitely fun to gawkat.
I'm curious the the the is it cake thing.
First of all, it's a hilarious title.
It's already hilarious and it's like it makes a great Instagram
post. But I do wonder how interesting
the show is. Or is like the whole show, just
the punchline of like it's made out of cake and it looks like
(14:44):
it's not. I think that that's kind of the
thing that's kept me from actually watching the show is
that I don't understand how you make a whole show out of it.
But I also think there is an audience for like background TV
like that. Like that could be a really
good, good show to put on while you're doing other stuff.
But there's also people love TheGreat British Bake Off, which
(15:08):
I've watched before I was. Really into that for a while.
It's nice. It's like, cool, I'm good with
it, but it's also it's very wholesome.
That's why I like it. It's so different than other
reality TV competition shows. It's just so sweet and wholesome
and not like perverted. Exactly, and I think that's why
a lot of people like it. I feel like maybe Izzet cake is
(15:31):
like a similar thing of like how'cause it's just kind of like
how. Silly and silly.
Yeah, it's kind of campy. It's camp.
Camp. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I do. I really watch.
It and come. Back, I think my favorite, Yeah.
Watch it and get back to us. My favorite part of it really is
the title, just how like simple and stupid it is.
I feel like that's my favorite kind of humor.
(15:51):
And it makes me really hope thatthe tagline is just like it's
made out of cake, but it's hard to tell.
Or something like that. It's hard to tell it's.
So funny it's it's made out of cake, but it's also really hard
to tell. Tuesdays on Bravo.
(16:15):
Support for Not for Everyone comes from Skims.
There's a reason Jess and I wereraving about Skims bras on this
podcast long before they were ever a sponsor.
I had fully stopped looking for a supportive bra I could
comfortably wear with my scoliosis and back pain.
I just relegated myself to a life of sports bras and accepted
my fate. And then I found the Skims Fits
(16:37):
Everybody T-shirt bra and I never looked back.
If you watch my YouTube videos, that is the bra I'm wearing in
every single one of them, unlessit's a day where I'm flying free
and letting the boobs off leash.And if you're in need of new
underwear, allow me to insist you try the Skims Fits Everybody
Boy Short. I have them in every color.
I did not know that a boy short is supposed to be incredibly
(16:58):
comfortable and lightweight. Please allow me to change your
life. Fits Everybody Boy short.
You are missing out if you are not shopping the Skims best
intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more at
skims.com. And if you want to support our
show, you can let them know I sent you after checkout by
selecting podcast and not for everyone.
Go check it out. You will see what I mean.
(17:30):
OK, I've been watching Love on the Spectrum.
Yes, it's so cute. I haven't watched this new
season yet but I have watch the show and it's so beautiful.
I love it so much and it also makes me feel like it's really
not that different from regular dating.
I think what's so fun about it to me, I mean, one of the many
(17:51):
things that's fun about South Love on the spectrum.
If you haven't watched a show onNetflix where individuals who
are on the autism spectrum to varying degrees, there's there's
a bit of a range go on dates that are basically set up by the
show. And then you see the individuals
(18:13):
like with their family and in their community and you
obviously just learn a lot aboutthem.
But it is a dating show and they're looking for love and
it's done very just sweetly. I think the concept sounds like
it. I didn't think people were
afraid at first. Like, I wonder what it was like
pitching that show because I feel like before seeing the way
(18:35):
it was executed, you could definitely envision it being
like exploitative or disrespectful or horrible, as
all reality TV is exploitative and disrespectful and horrible.
But it's like really beautiful and pure.
And so I think the things I loveabout it is that A, these
(18:56):
individuals, at least on the show, who are, you know, they're
they're talkative and social enough, but they're also have a
hard enough time reading social cues as one of the main things
they struggle with that there is0.
There's almost zero chance that they're hamming it up for the
(19:16):
camera. I'm sure they can ham it up a
little, but it's like it makes it feel so much more genuine
than other people on reality TV even sometimes they're there
with like family members who arenot on the autism spectrum and
the family members, you know, are hamming it up because
they're on TV. But these the other individuals,
(19:38):
like they, they couldn't ham it up if they wanted to because
they have, they struggle to likeread social vibes sometimes.
So that's that's a core part of it.
So it feels so much more authentic than other TV and then
so genuine. And then it also occurred to me
that the dating part isn't it. It is different in some ways
(20:00):
from your and my experience dating, but in a lot of ways
it's not. And in a lot of ways, they just,
like, articulate. All the things that we all go
through of like feeling really afraid or feeling overexcited,
trying not to get ahead of yourself, like not knowing what
the other person means or not knowing what they want.
And obviously there's differences, but there's a lot
(20:23):
that just feels like they've putwords and vocalize the things
that we all feel in dating and I.
Really love that. Yeah, I think that's so true.
I think the part that is, well, I haven't watched enough of it
to really know, but the episodesthat I've seen, I feel like
they'll get they'll they'll fallinto it really quickly with a
(20:47):
person like if they like the person that they go on the date
with, they're like ready to cuddle up.
They're ready to like be best friends.
They're ready to do things all the time.
It's very cute and pure. And because, you know, that
they're on the autism spectrum, there is like a inherent kind of
just trust you have that they'renot faking it or anything.
(21:08):
This is really how they feel. Yeah.
And I think it's kind of nice tosee.
On one hand, it's nice to see because maybe the rest of us
hold ourselves back on a first or second date when it's still
early. But we really, we do feel
something. I feel like social cues tell us
to like, quiet that and be chilland be, like, patient.
(21:32):
And I feel like they let themselves just, like, fall in
love faster. And I've enjoyed that part of
the show when I've watched it. And at the same time, it also,
yeah, it just makes me wonder, do these couples last?
Like, have they ever followed? Yeah.
Yeah, there's like I actually started on the third season and
(21:55):
there's a couple on there who's been together for like two or
three years and I guess I don't know much longer than that.
But it in a way this is this is what I've like gathered so far.
I'm not an expert, so not complete knowledge, but what
I've noticed at least so far, isthat honestly the main kind of
(22:20):
match it seems like a lot of them are looking for is just
shared interests because their special interests are such a
like huge part of their personality.
Like, you know, one girl loves trains and if somebody and if
some, if she goes on a date withsomebody who has zero interest
in trains, that's basically the end of it.
(22:43):
Yeah. But if they find someone who
also really likes trains, there's other things that have
to match. But it, it, I did see, I kind of
interpreted that as one big difference between the way they
seem to date and the way other people date, which is I think
when we give advice on the on the podcast or to friends and
family and stuff, I think peopleover index on interests.
(23:06):
Unless you're on the autism spectrum, then go for it because
that seems very, very like almost the most important thing
to them. But I think you and I like, I
always give. I really think people over index
on like do we have the same interests and hobbies?
In music and. The number, the number of times
I've dated people with the same interests in me and then like
(23:27):
it, it fell apart that those aren't actually the things that
I have found to lend to compatibility.
Yeah, but that did seem to be a difference.
Yeah. On Love on the Spectrum.
Yeah, that's a good point. I do think that that is a
difference. I mean, it doesn't mean that,
you know, people like you and mecan't have shared interests with
(23:49):
a partner, but it's like not thething to make the decision on.
And it does seem like on the show.
That's like all they care about.That's like all they.
Care about yeah, but maybe there's also, you know, there's,
there's a shared understanding of the experience of being a
person with autism, right. So maybe there's maybe there's a
(24:10):
lot of assumed like, you know what my life is like.
I I know that there's so much variety.
But all of them go on dates withpeople with who also are on the
autism spectrum who they don't like.
So it's not as simple as that. They go on plenty of dates with
people on the spectrum and. They like some and they don't
like some, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(24:31):
So I should get back to watchingit because it really is is
delightful. Also you mentioned like what an
interesting show to have to pitch, isn't it Australian?
Am I right about that or did started in Australia?
I think the odd original was either Australian or British.
Yeah, for some reason it being an Australian show originally
(24:52):
like makes so much sense to me. I don't know.
I I really know nothing about Australia, but I just have an
impression based on very little information that people there
are just like happy and friendlyand nice.
That is the. Impression I have and I don't
know, like I've never been thereand I wonder if like, that's an
ignorant generalization for me to make.
(25:14):
But they're human beings, so some of them suck.
Yeah. And I, I do feel like Britain
and Australia seem to produce a lot of really sweet reality TV
and then the US just, like, copies it and bastardizes it.
Yeah. Exactly.
That's kind of why I'm like, Oh yeah, I could see in Australia
this show being pitched and everyone just being like really
(25:37):
jazzed about it and wanting to do it in the right way and all
this stuff. Yeah, I really wonder what that
process was like, how hard it was, because before it came out
or actually even after it came out, there was some small
faction of people who were like,this is exploitative, like blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. Like they're just being tooled
around. And then the the individuals who
(25:58):
are featured on the show, the people on the spectrum on the on
the show itself had to reply, replied just of their own accord
and was like, first of all, for you to say this is exploitative
and that we don't know what we're doing or like that we have
no agency, see here is so insulting.
That's what's insulting. Like you have no idea what our
experience was. Yeah, we're not.
(26:18):
I'm not actually like a dog or achild.
Well, yeah, that's the reason this show is needed, to educate
you that, like I, I'm a fully functioning adult with a brain
who can make choices for myself.I just have these certain
differences about me, basically.Like, that's why we want to put
this show out, because there's some of you who don't get it.
Yeah. Yeah, it is funny.
I think I'm I could talk about this forever.
(26:40):
I do think there's like such a big a huge portion of people who
think they are like doing a goodjob of like the the PC police
who I think we've talked about this a little bit before, but
who like don't fully know what they're supposed to be sounding
(27:01):
the alarm about. So they just kind of sound the
alarm about like anything that maybe has some of the keywords
that like reality TV on the spectrum, like inside look and
they're like exploited him bad. And I think a lot of people
(27:21):
don't know exactly what to soundthe alarm about.
They just know some of like the keywords.
And so they and I I think it's ends up being very and it's
damaging and disappointing to methat that people can't like
there's just such a lack of nuance today.
It's so. That's what I was just going to
say. It has so much to do with nuance
(27:42):
because yeah, like just taking what the top level headlines or
like red flags would be and thenimmediately jumping to a
conclusion that this is wrong, whatever it is.
Yeah, people before they even saw it.
Exactly, Exactly. Yeah, I and I think that's a lot
(28:02):
of what holds us back as a society is just canceling things
before seeing what they really are and understanding what their
intention is and all of that. Like, it holds us back from
having important conversations about what is autism really
like, to use this example, you know, like what?
(28:23):
What should we be mindful of andwhat is just the same as every
person you know, like the. Answer can't just be like never
ever show. Never talk about.
It on a show ever Because it might be bad like that doesn't
sound like the solution. Exactly, exactly, exactly.
I think it just holds us back. And that's probably the reason
why you said like, you know, pitching a show like that, I
(28:45):
wonder what it went like. Yeah, because there's a lot of
but. I bet it was hard.
I bet it was hard. I bet it was hard because people
shy away from taking on subjectsthat could have a high
prevalence of those keywords. So especially like a studio of a
massive student like television studio are not known to be like
the biggest like creative minds and risk takers.
(29:09):
Yeah, it makes me think of, like, how I was reading recently
about how Gen. Z who grew up watching
millennials embarrass themselveson the Internet.
Like, when we were on the Internet, it was just like
posting every inane, unpostable thought on our Facebook status
and our Instagram posts and blah, blah, blah.
(29:32):
And Gen. Z interacts.
First of all, they're like, not on Facebook.
And they use Instagram very differently from millennials, if
at all. And what they do use most of all
is Snapchat because it disappears and it's like, harder
to be endlessly mocked. And they like, like Gen.
Z was really raised in this culture of like hyper vigilance
(29:52):
and really fear of like, if you say one thing, you can be made
into an intermittent, into an Internet meme forever and it'll
live on forever and everyone will laugh at you forever.
And so, and it's Gen. Z is really this culture of like
hyper vigilance and self vigilance and like not wanting
like in some ways, like not wanting to publicly express too
(30:15):
much. And it's just seems like so sad.
That's interesting. I.
Didn't really realize. I mean it makes sense what
you're saying but I wouldn't have used those words to
describe Gen. Z.
Although I obviously have a verylimited knowledge and I'm not
Gen. Z myself.
But like that surprises me that that's.
(30:37):
I think not expressing like maybe they express themselves in
clothing and fashion, but not asmuch like sharing thoughts just
like Willy nilly the way millennials did.
And I do think it's the reason Snapchat like they stopped using
Instagram even. And if they do put something on
Instagram, it's like very minimal.
They don't like shared diatribesand stuff as as a, you know,
(31:00):
wide generalization. And then they've really
gravitated towards Snapchat, which is like ephemeral.
Right. No, that is true about there's
like this shift on Instagram to posting more minimal stuff like
just pictures, like a picture of, you know, a napkin on a
table, like. Yeah, monthly.
(31:20):
Recap and it's like a rock and anapkin and like maybe one
picture of you. I don't know if I'm ever gonna,
like, grow to that level. I don't know if I aspire to
that. I know that's what cool people
do. They just like, yeah, they just
pick, pick, post a dump of like different napkins they used and
like, right plates, like fancy plates covered in crumbs.
It's like they moved the camera while they took the picture and
(31:42):
I guess that makes it. Yeah, like a maybe a mirror
selfie of like their ankle in front of like a dirty mirror.
And like, I don't, I don't know,it just feels like it's way more
work to be that elusive and mysterious and I'm fine just
being a a traditional ham. I think that that's great.
I think that being a ham is whatis what you were meant to do.
(32:05):
I actually OK, oh, maybe this isa joke.
You were talking about Gen. Z and then you were talking
about, you said the thing about a mirror selfie of the ankle on
a dirty floor or whatever. And I thought of this
influencer, podcaster, whoever named Gabby Windy.
Do you know who she is? No.
She so she was on the bachelor. That's when she first like came
(32:28):
on the scene. She was one of the girls dating
the bachelor and she kind of like made a name for herself on
that show because this bachelor really fucked things up.
And she kind of told him off at the end, and it was like a very
empowering moment to watch on a show that doesn't usually center
women's empowerment. So she was like, I liked her
(32:50):
right away from that. She went on to be The
Bachelorette herself. She actually got engaged from
the show and then that engagement broke up and then.
That. Came out and then right and then
she came out as gay. She came out as a lesbian and
started dating a comedian who she's now married to anyway.
So she's like become this icon because of this trajectory of
(33:12):
like, being one of the girls dating the Bachelor.
What's her name? Gabby Windy, she has a podcast.
It's very chaotic. It's it's fun if you're in the
right mood for it, but it's definitely like, I don't know,
it's like a definitely a certainmood.
She just goes on these long ranty tangents.
(33:32):
Anyway, I sometimes listen to itand she always references how
she's she's Gen. Z and she like makes fun of
millennials. And I've just had in the back of
my mind how old is she? I think she's at least my age.
Like I'm confused that she keepssaying let me look at that.
She's Gen. Z and sure enough, she's 34.
(33:52):
So she's not she's our age. She's a millennial.
Maybe she just. Identifies as just.
Now I'm connecting the dots thatmaybe that's a bit that she does
where she just wants to identifywith Gen.
Z over millennials. Anyway, this is a whole tangent,
but this conversation made me think of her because I think
we're getting to the age like millennials.
(34:15):
Our generation is getting to theage where we're not the cool
ones anymore. We're a little older now.
Like there's a new, the generation that's in their 20s
is not our generation. And that's typically like the
cool ones setting the trends so much so that millennials are
ready to abandon ship. They're like, I'm not a
millennial. I I'm fine with it.
(34:36):
Let me be a ham, you know. Let me be a ham.
Yeah. I don't wanna.
Yeah. I mean, I never really felt.
I genuinely never felt like I was occupying any cool anything.
But I do understand what you mean that like we were the 20
year olds who got to like criticize the generation above
us and criticize the status quo and we're going to do it
(34:58):
differently. La La La La la.
I was also thinking about like different things that make me
laugh about our generation getting older is like, I feel
like in the 2000s, two thousand 10s, maybe more, 2000 tens, it
was trendy for our age to wear like really tight fitting stuff
(35:20):
like bodycon dresses and stuff like that.
And because that's what we were doing in our 20s, that was kind
of the fashion of the time because the 20 year olds are
doing it. And now I see myself and a lot
of 30 whatever year olds, millennials dressing in more
(35:41):
like, I don't know what the word, but less body clinging
stuff like a little more like loose fitting or more structured
or it's more mature. And that is basically what
happens for every generation when they get out of their 20s,
they start dressing a little bitmore mature.
Like that's pretty normal. You don't see like most, you
(36:02):
know, grandmas walking around inbody con dresses.
You start dressing, you know, a little more, better tailoring,
better structured clothes, better made clothes, not just
from Forever 21, whatever. But the thing that's different
is also that we still portray that on social media.
(36:22):
And so I wondered, I think I waswondering if like, OK, so
millennials who've always kind of lead paved the way on social
media are now doing their transition to like more mature
clothing. And I wonder if that will have
like a trickle down effect to younger generations who would
otherwise still be in their bodycon era but are now gonna like,
(36:43):
because I, I think because of social media and all looking at
ourselves too often, it kind of,I feel like it helped me realize
that a super tight dress just doesn't usually look that good.
Like it's so forgiving and if you like eat a single green
bean, like you don't feel good in it and stuff like that, like
it maybe it looks good on a, youknow, in the picture when you
(37:05):
buy it on the store. But then day-to-day it's
uncomfortable and blah, blah, blah.
And I do feel like, I don't know, seeing myself on YouTube,
seeing myself in pictures all the time.
It's like help to realize that more.
And I was just wondering, maybe this isn't interesting.
No, it is. But I was, I was just wondering
if like the inundation of seeingourselves more is going to to
like have a permanent effect on the younger kids dressing in a
(37:31):
more provocative way. Like maybe that will be more.
I don't know. I see what you're saying.
I don't know. So basically like typically
younger generations are dressingmore provocatively.
As you get older you dress more mature, classic like.
Flattering. Yeah, it flatters.
You a. Little more covered Flattering,
(37:53):
yeah. And so, but because we're really
the first generation on social media who is reaching that like
mid 30s, whatever time. Frame and so many, so many of
our generation are still these main influencer moguls who are
like demonstrating and you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's what I, that's whatI was wondering when you were
(38:15):
talking about. It is like how much of it is
regular people posting and whatever and influencing their
communities, their friends. How much of it is people with
the following influencers, celebrities, whatever.
How much is it like, I don't know, 'cause I also just believe
that they're anytime I travel, like anytime I go to Europe,
(38:38):
they're wearing what I like. I notice what they're wearing
and it's not what I'm wearing. And then like a year and a half
later, I'm like, oh, that's whatthey were wearing when I was in
Italy. Oh, 'cause they were a.
Year and a half ago, 'cause theywere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then some of it is just like other parts of the world
(38:59):
influence what eventually becomes mainstream.
Like, I don't know, I would be interested in the anthropology
or something of like what the. It is very interesting.
What that flow is and where the different trends come from.
And then also, there's like a cyclical time nature to trends
(39:19):
where the stuff that's in now amongst Gen.
Z is what we were wearing when we were in high school or
whether we were wearing it or not, I don't know.
But it was what was trendy at the time.
So yeah, I'm very, I actually amvery fascinated by where does
this all come from? It's not that long ago.
It wasn't actually that long ago.
Don't fashion trends usually come in cycles of like 30 years?
(39:41):
Pretty much. Yeah, that was 15 years.
That was 15 years ago. I feel like that's not like the
the fashion cycles. Like the major cycles are
usually almost exactly every 30 years.
So the 15 year 1 is so weird to me.
And I almost think maybe that's because of social media or.
It's just like. Everything's going faster.
(40:03):
Everything's going faster. And when we were in high school,
we had Facebook and I don't know, things get out into and
things get out into the ether faster, and then it all starts
happening faster. Yeah, yeah.
I know you're right, any of thismakes sense, but I don't.
I think we're locked in on. AI feel like we're we're locked
(40:24):
in and feeling we're very high without any help.
But I will. I think what you said is making
me think and maybe it's making me amend my statement after
thinking about what you said. I feel like my actual thought is
just how I agree. There's so many things obviously
that influence the fashion trends who people are looking to
(40:45):
at what age they're looking to, how they're seeing themselves,
how information travels around the world, blah, blah, blah.
And I just think there's like one additional or one shift
included now, which is that I feel like before social media,
(41:06):
the aspirational fashion was always represented, pretty much
always represented by a movie stars or B models who were
usually people who represented like youth and beauty and blah,
blah, blah. And really a certain age.
But now the one change is that we have influencers growing up
(41:29):
who are getting into their 30s, forties, 50s.
It's going to be a whole generation of like OG
influencers in their 60s. And I wonder because they get a
hold on to some degree of that influence in a way that didn't
exist in past generations. I wonder how that will affect
things is my question. Yeah, I totally agree with that.
Now you can access any influencer, celebrity, whatever
(41:55):
at any age. You can find pictures of what
they look like, how they're styling themselves, how they're
styling their home, how they're,you know, what types of
vacations are they going on, Like whatever.
You can find out what people aredoing who are in that position
of like setting the trends. Yeah.
So basically my thought is that you can access any person who
(42:20):
you want to follow as your fashion icon, trendsetter at any
age now. And that wasn't something that
we were able to do before. So I agree, I think that will
have an influence, but I don't, I'm not quite sure what that
influence will be yet 'cause youknow, like you and I are looking
at influencers who are probably more in the millennial bracket
(42:42):
in our generation. And that's our kind of sphere of
influence of like, oh, these arethe people, but Gen.
Z has their own sphere of influential people.
We know about some of them, but we don't know about all of them.
You know, they're, they're not necessarily looking, we're not,
they're not necessarily looking at the same people we're looking
at, I guess, is my. Point that's true.
It's yeah, it's all too much. It's all too much.
(43:04):
I'm also thinking about how Speaking of things being too
much like like YouTube videos videos on YouTube.
It's only been around since like2009.
It's in its infancy and there's too many videos out there.
Literally what are they going todo in like 50 years?
(43:25):
And there's just like videos of everybody's great grandfather
make making slime as a child on YouTube, like making glitter
slime. Like what are how are they going
to organize this stuff? I mean, how?
Yeah, like the cloud better get ready to handle all that data.
That's just a lot of like footage, so.
Much I feel like there needs to be.
(43:47):
I've listen. I had a lot of really big ideas
this week. I feel like there needs to be an
Internet place, maybe there already is, where you can like
search the Internet based on year that already exists.
Wait, I think that does exist. Well, it depends on exactly what
you mean there's. I'm just saying you're going to
need it more soon. Oh yeah, there's something where
(44:10):
you can plug in any website. Oh, the way back, the way back
machine or. Whatever, it'll take you back to
like the older versions of the website so you could look at
what the Internet looked like when it first started,
basically. I just found out this week that
that's an actual website. I thought whenever people said,
well we went to the way back machine, I thought they were
(44:31):
always just being fucking tryingto be fucking cute and annoying
and being like we're going to goway.
Way. Back in time I thought it was a
euphemism, or like an idiom or something.
I could see that. I also didn't know.
Like, I feel like I never talked.
This is the first time I've everspoken about it, so I don't
think it comes up for me. Yeah.
(44:52):
OK, OK. Didn't you say you had something
stupid to tell me? Oh, I have so many stupid things
to tell you. Let me find.
Let me find that. Support for not for everyone
comes from Zocdoc. If there's a doctor's visit you
keep putting off, I'm talking toyou.
(45:12):
Yes, you you invest in your friends, your job, your
retirement plan. But I'm going to be super blunt
right now, You don't get to enjoy any of those things down
the road if you're not first taking care of your health.
It's that simple. Make that doctor's appointment.
Prioritize the things that matter most for yourself and for
the people who love you. Zocdoc makes it easy.
(45:32):
It is free. I've used it for over 10 years.
You can search and compare high quality doctors, you can filter
by doctors who take your insurance and you can instantly
book an appointment. Every doctor has their whole
schedule posted online so you can see their availability and
just click the appointment that works for your schedule.
It should never be difficult to make an appointment when it
(45:53):
comes to your health and Zoc Talk makes it so freaking easy.
Stop putting off that doctor's appointment.
Go to zocdoc.com/not for everyone all spelled out to find
and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
thatszocdoc.com/not for everyone.
Zocdoc.com/not for everyone. I'm trying to start reading.
(46:29):
I know everyone's shocked and dismayed.
I'm trying to start reading because I feel that I need
something to do with my time at the end of the work day that is
not towards any like personal goal, you know, That's not the
podcast, that's not like going to the gym.
(46:52):
That's not whatever. Just not about any of my
relationships, not about Ryan, not about my friends, not about
my family. Just something that like
literally passes the time for me.
I like that. I like that as a goal of being
like, it's not supposed to have a goal.
Yes, I mean that so badly. I feel like everything in my
life is too goal oriented. And so I was thinking about
(47:14):
options and I'm going to try a few different things.
But one of the things I think I'm going to try is reading
because people seem to like it and I've just never been a big
reader. So I was trying to figure out
what books to get. I got a library card, I
downloaded the library app Libby, which is an amazing app
by the way. And you can get all these free
(47:36):
audiobooks on there. So I was like, great, maybe I'll
start with an audiobook to like ease my way in 'cause I'm
definitely a podcast consumer. Like I'm more used to that that
style. So I found a book and got the
audiobook and started listening and like audiobooks sound wrong
(47:58):
like they said. Like I don't want to listen to
them the way that audiobooks arecurrently recorded.
This is based on one audiobook, mind you.
Literally in our last episode you were talking about how you
love audiobooks. What?
Yeah. When did I say that?
I was listening to it today. You were just talking about
like, that's why I love audiobooks, because you don't.
(48:19):
Like because unless you do. Things with your hands.
You've changed. You've changed this.
Then tell me I already agree. I also agree.
I was probably just generalizingto make myself seem smarter.
And really I just meant podcasts.
I only listen to podcasts. I have I This is not the first
audio book I've ever listened to.
I have listened to like 3. It was like a bad narrator, bad
(48:40):
voiceover or whatever. Yeah, I think it maybe was just
like the bad narration, bad voiceover.
It's. Some of the most so bad.
I don't want it to feel like someone's reading a book to me.
I want it to feel which maybe ismy.
Problem. What do you want it to feel?
I want it to feel like a podcast, I want it to feel like
someone's talking to me, and it happens to make up a really
great book. OK so is this a criticism for
(49:03):
their acting skills? Like it's too stylized and you
want it to be more natural. I think so, I think.
Or do you want? Very like content to be.
Like Once Upon a time, La La, la, la.
And I'm like, I want the cadenceof it and the tone of voice to
just be a little more relaxed, like they're talking.
Even though it is a book and I you.
(49:25):
Just want it to be more naturalistic.
Yeah. That's why Jim Dale, who
narrated the Harry Potter series, is just the greatest of
all time. It doesn't.
It doesn't make you feel like you're listening to audio
narration. You just feel like you're living
a story. That's awesome.
That's what I want. I want more.
(49:47):
A lot of them are bad like that.A lot of them are really bad.
A lot of them are really bad. And then also sometimes if
they're not really bad, they just like don't mesh with what
you envision as the tone of the rock or something and like just
it. Just doesn't hold my attention.
It's just I agree as. Soon as you're reading to me,
(50:08):
I'm tuning out. You know, like, I'm not here
anymore because I I went througha few pages of this book on the
audiobook, and I just noticed that I wasn't paying attention
because it felt too much like background narration as opposed
to telling me a story. Yeah.
It's like, that's what's good about it and what's bad.
It's good because you can zone out and do other things and like
(50:31):
do your nails, but it's also badif you want it to capture your
attention. Also, sorry, my rosacea is
really. No, please don't apologize for
your rosacea. You just look rosy cheeked.
It's really acting up right now,but OK, I think I have a
solution for you. OK.
This is this is going to be stupid, but.
(50:52):
It's all I want. It's important to me the only
type of solution I want. Which is that I like just
realized that there's OK. So I'm I'm an OK reader.
Usually I've read non fiction, but I haven't really been
reading any books recently. And then I don't know when I
think of fiction, I'm just like,I don't give a fuck about this
(51:16):
sci-fi whatever. I don't give a fuck about this
romance really. I don't really give a fuck about
like this interesting character.I don't really give a fuck.
I just don't care. Why I don't care And and then
which is why I only read non fiction because I didn't really
like fiction, I thought. And then I was on Instagram and
I saw a post by one of our fellow podcasters, Amanda
(51:39):
Montel, host of Sounds Like a Cult Pod.
But on her Instagram, she also has kind of like a book talk.
She always like shares differentbooks.
She's a big reader. She made this post being like,
here are my 6 wrecks for gross girl books.
Gross girl where there is like romance girl, like history girl,
(52:02):
and this one was gross girl. I think I saw this.
And I, I looked up all six and Ibought all six of them.
They sound so good. And I started one and it's so
fucked up. But it's a novel and it's so
fucked up and it's so twisted and it kind of like, it kind of
feels like reading a modern day female meets social media
(52:25):
version of I'm American Psycho. But it's and it's comedic in the
same way because it's like so bad, so dark and absurd.
It's completely absurd. And I'm, it's called a touch of
Jen is the one I've started and it's like horrifying.
It's like horror, gore, mystery,sci-fi horror, basically stalker
(52:49):
or something. But it's also really weird.
I don't know. And and it just made me realize
I was like, oh, well, that's thekind of TVI like watching.
Like I like true crime and I like horror stuff and I like
scandalous whatever. And there are, there's obviously
books on that, but the only books, the only novels that I
(53:11):
know, anybody I know reads, it'salways like, oh, a tale of two
fishermen in Scotland or I don'tknow, all my family reads like
very hoity toity books. It's like the history of the
Chesapeake Bay told from the point of view of a farmer.
That's fiction. It's amazing story.
(53:32):
I'll get this the fuck away fromme.
I am loving this and it should. I don't know why I think I've
never even heard of the novels that I mean, I did read American
Psycho and I loved it and there's that's a whole genre and
I think it just helped me to be like, oh, there's a book
equivalent to like the TV and movies I like to watch.
(53:53):
See, that's why I. Told you this.
This makes me sound really stupid.
No, no, genuinely, I'd never seen anybody reading a book like
this. Like, the book I'm reading is
about this heterosexual couple who the only thing keeping them
together is they're like, para socially obsessed with this
influencer and like, basically wanna like, wear her skin.
And the girl and the guy in thisrelationship are just like, both
(54:17):
like very twisted and perverted and like, something's wrong with
them. And then the male, the guy in
the relationship is like you hear his narration a lot and he
obviously has it has like a gorefascination.
And he like they're watching a horror movie together and he's
like complaining about how they don't show.
Like there's a a scene where in the movie they're torturing a
(54:37):
dog and he's like, why don't they ever torture the animals on
screen? Like they.
Always do it on. Screen and like just like this
weird shit. And he he obviously like doesn't
love his girlfriend and he's always imagining that this like
influencer is like, he like wants his girlfriend to like put
a mask of the influencer's face on her face.
And he is obviously just like brimming with violent potential
(54:58):
and like this very sick. But it's very funny.
It's very, very funny because it's so absurd kind of the way
American Psycho is actually quite funny.
And it's like my mom or my sister or my dad never walked
around with novels like this. So I didn't even really know it
was a thing. Yes.
If that helps. It it helps a lot Well well, so
(55:21):
I won't be reading that book because I hate horror.
I hate, I hate, hate, hate gore.I I like that's not my thing.
However, the point about. Oh, but it's also it's also very
sexy and perverted. It's also sexy and perverted.
No, that's good. To clarify, I still won't read
it, but I but I like that for someone and for you.
(55:42):
But I do think the point about TV is spot on.
I spent a lot of time in Reddit forums this week looking up
books that are like Severance, and I know that's something you
wouldn't look. Up dude.
That's a whole genre of. Course it is, I already have
rewatched it because I'm obsessed with it.
I love the like, yeah like the it's sci-fi ish but there's like
(56:05):
more of a meaning of life aspectto it and it's like twisted but
it's not gory. Like, but it's mysterious.
And it's been. Telling.
But it's like, it's still like light enough.
Yeah. So I, yeah, I'm currently
looking for that. If people have recommendations
that fit that description. And if you've watched Severance
(56:26):
and you have a book that you've read that's like similar vibes,
I think that would captivate me because I do think, OK, first of
all, yes, the TV tip is spot on.Second of all, because I'm not a
big reader, I really need something to hold my attention.
And that's why the suspense element is really important
because I need it like White Lotus almost where you know
(56:48):
somebody dies at the end and youjust want to find out who it is.
Even if the whole season disappoints you, you stick it
out 'cause you want to get to the end to know who dies.
I kind of need that in a book. I need like something that's
keeping me there because I'm notthe person that gets obsessed
with the book usually. So anyway, I think those are my
(57:08):
2 requirements. Like thinking about TV shows and
what maps to books and then likean element of suspense.
But I am just more comedy very important.
Like I just appreciate writing to be done in a funny way.
It doesn't need to be like a laugh out loud book, but like if
the writing is kind of cheeky orsomething, I think I like that.
(57:32):
And then yeah, I just need to be.
I just need my attention to be held somebody.
Yeah, when people describe a book and they're just like, oh,
it's just such a beautiful world.
Like the the world she paints isso beautiful.
I don't get it. The fuck away from me.
I don't care. I bet it is beautiful and I
can't wait to see it as a movie.I'm not gonna read this.
(57:53):
There's a world that means that there's probably way too many
characters for me to keep track of way too.
Many. Places, let's keep it to like 4
key rooms. You know Severance has the
office and the home and the sister's house.
Like keep it to like 3 locations.
Let's keep it to vibes. Vibes.
Let's keep it to. Vibes or like, Oh my God, did
you ever open a page of like I Ilike I liked Lord of the rings.
(58:17):
I enjoyed the two episodes I sawof Game of Thrones and both of
those books. They'll spend like 12 pages
describing someone's code. I'm dead.
I already died. I already died.
I already burned this book. Yeah.
I couldn't believe the audacity of some people.
You know, well-intentioned. I put a question box on my story
(58:41):
asking for book recommendations and I specifically said book
recommendations for people who don't like reading and the
number of people that say Game of Thrones, like what are you
talking about? That's 1000 page book and I
didn't watch that show also because I don't wanna have to
like learn a language. They have a different language.
(59:02):
What? Different language.
I live in this world and speak this language.
Are you kidding? I don't read.
Don't ask me to read that. Yeah, so that those are actually
my three. That's my 3rd requirement. 1 is
my TV show preferences, 2 is suspense, 3 is light comedy,
whatever. And four is just think about
(59:22):
what somebody who doesn't read would finally start reading for.
And do you ever read to me? Do you ever read the Amelia
Bedelia series? Love love, I would read them
again. I would read them again.
So yeah, I that was actually a big.
I'm glad you brought that up. It was a big revelation for me
(59:43):
this week. Amanda Montel, check out her
podcast. That's a great pod.
She's a friend of ours and I'm yeah, gross girl books.
It was like that is what I am The other, the other book, I'll
tell you what, the other book, the other two books I got 1 is
called Vladimir, which actually my sister did read and she said
it was great. So if it has her stable
approval, yes, like that goes a long way for me 'cause I feel
(01:00:07):
like she legitimizes books. Yeah, yeah, she's picky and it's
it's called Vladimir and it's about, I think it's told from
the the perspective of this woman who was a professor and
her. My husband is still currently a
professor or he was a professor and then this like scandal comes
up about like his questionable behavior with students hashtag
(01:00:28):
gross girl books. And then the other one I got is
really is going to upset some people, but apparently it's
amazing writing and is I'm what is it called?
It's called Tampa and it's about.
I've heard of that I. Think a teacher I I don't know,
this doesn't sound like you. Maybe I've.
(01:00:49):
Just heard of the city. It's about a teacher who grooms
and molests a child who's who istheir student.
And it's like, you know, the epitome of like this unreliable
narrator, kind of like, you know, Lolita, It tells the story
of a pedophile basically, but gets into the head of this
(01:01:12):
monster, basically this monster who is narrating and justifies
everything they're doing in their mind.
It's justified and. I haven't.
I haven't started that one, but I am very interested.
I understand a lot of people probably would not enjoy reading
it, but all of these to me get at warped psychology which is
(01:01:32):
like endlessly fascinating to me.
Yeah. Are you reading the other two at
once? Are you a person that reads
multiple books at the same time?OK, that's a really strange
thing to me. Akayate does that.
She reads multiple books over the course of like a couple
months and I'm like, how do you decide, right, which one to pick
up at any given time? Like how do you keep up with the
(01:01:55):
characters? At that rate, well.
So true, so true. She honestly, I'd be checking my
story watches sometimes and her name's not in there.
She's like not, she's not keeping up with me on Instagram.
Yeah, you know, people, you haveto work hard at friendships
these days, and if she's busy reading, then she's neglecting.
Important time for me she's in. Her life like liking your
(01:02:15):
stories. That's yeah, that's what it all
comes back to. We're going to see Beyoncé.
Wait, I can't believe that you kept that to yourself this whole
episode. Oh, thank you.
I've been trying to just like, you know, not make it about
that. But now, now that we're near the
end, it's about that. It's about that.
I want to see Beyoncé on Thursday and what is it?
(01:02:39):
What is it? So this is the cowboy Carter
tour. So it's for like western tour.
So I got this dress from newly my favorite rental service and
it's like a strapless denim dress that is kind of like MIDI
length. It it's like gonna be so hot.
It's like close to the body, butthen it kind of like goes out at
(01:02:59):
the bottom a little bit like, and then I need to figure out
the shoes. Because the problem is that
Beyoncé's tours are at big stadiums.
Like she's playing where the football team plays in in
Chicago. So it's like huge.
There's going to be so many people.
And we went two years ago and it's a whole fucking thing to
get in and out of there because there's only like 1 path that
(01:03:22):
they put all these people who came to the Beyoncé concert on
to leave at night anyway. There's lots of walking involved
and it's pretty annoying. So like ideally a western, like
I don't have cowboy boots but I would buy them for this.
But I don't think that'll be comfortable.
Oh, I think cowboy boots can be comfortable.
Though, but I guess maybe you have to break them in.
(01:03:43):
Good quality ones. What if you get some cowboy
boots now and wear them for the next couple days?
I also think I think they shouldbe bedazzled.
I know I don't. You know they should, yes.
Yes, I know they. Should.
Or what if they said do you havelike a bedazzled just like block
heel boot? Even if it's not, I feel like
(01:04:06):
you do. Even if it's not a cowboy.
Block heel boots, but not bedazzled ones.
Bedazzled could be more bedazzled could be more like
versatile. Yeah, but I'm, I mean, I'm even
nervous about a boot because of The Walking.
Like I, I think I might end up getting cheap sneakers on Amazon
that are like silver or bedazzled or something.
(01:04:27):
Bedazzled. Never wear again.
Bedazzled them. Yeah, that might be the move.
And then Kai and I are going to,there's a Western store for some
reason, like a few blocks away from where I live in Chicago,
and we're going to go there in acouple days and like, shop for
accessories. So maybe like a belt buckle or a
hat or a bandana anyway, or a bolo tie.
(01:04:50):
I feel like that would look really good on me.
Personally, Oh, that's sexy, right?
And then the little, the little bolos or whatever they are,
bolos can dangle, dangle in yourcleavage.
Yeah, dangles are pretty important for for sex appeal.
I think that's a quote. Dangles are pretty important for
sex. I think.
I think. Kai does Kai.
(01:05:12):
Is Kai able to participate in Beyoncé to the level of you?
Yes, very much so, yes. Because I do remember a couple
years ago, I'm pretty sure you were going to, I don't remember
if it was a Beyoncé concert or aJohn Mayer concert.
And you're like, I just decided to go alone because nobody be
will be able to enjoy it as muchas me.
And I don't want to be like catering to them.
Correct. That was John Mayer.
I will do that again. That was the best, best decision
(01:05:35):
ever. I would do it again.
I don't want to have to like, explain to people why I'm
crying. You can't come with me.
I don't know if she's very. Into 20 years of emotion, OK.
Yeah, exactly. She's heard of Beyoncé.
She's heard of. Beyoncé, she's heard of her.
It was honestly, she's the one that pushed us to get the
tickets 'cause we went to see her together two years ago or a
(01:05:58):
year ago even. Was it only last year?
Yeah. And it was great.
It was the like the best night of my life.
It was the best show I've ever seen live, like hands down.
But it was such an ordeal to go and get in and get out and
whatever that I was like, you know, I'm probably good.
Like that's just the best thing I'll ever watch because.
(01:06:18):
This is just so enormous. Is that why it's it's?
So enormous. There's so many people.
Like getting out of there is a nightmare.
We didn't get home till like 1:00 AM and that was.
Where do they host these even? Are they just in like football
stadiums? Yeah, yeah.
It's like big stadium tours. And I mean, she sells out the
thing multiple nights in a row, you know?
So it's tons of people and I just kind of felt anxious, like
(01:06:40):
I used to really like going to concerts and being in crowds and
like that energy. And I think now I feel very
anxious. And so when we were leaving that
show, I was kind of like, it's dark.
There were lots of people. So you would think that makes
you feel safe, but it also feelslike it's kind of a target and
it's night time and you're trying to get out of there.
(01:07:01):
And so I just felt really anxious the whole time we were
leaving, and I wasn't sure I would want to do that again.
But it's Kai's birthday this week and Beyoncé's here for her
birthday week, and so we couldn't say no to that
opportunity. So that's what we're doing.
Yeah. It's going to be amazing.
Look at that horse and I got AT shirt.
I don't think it's going to comein time, but I'm just happy to
(01:07:22):
own this T-shirt now. I got AT shirt that says look at
that horse with Beyoncé on a horse.
So I'm glad. Thanks everyone for listening.
Thanks for indulging me here on this topic here.
Thank you for. Beyoncé, I'm so excited.
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for Beyoncé.
Like I'm her mom. You're so welcome.
I'm so glad I could give her to you.
I know. Yeah.
We're done, I think. I think we're done.
(01:07:44):
That was fun to hear how it is. Yeah.
Yeah, I'll report back. I told you, remember.
To follow us on Instagram at NotFor Everyone pod, because we're
going to be soliciting specific dating themes for your What a
do's for the Summer series coming up.
So if you want your dating what to do covered, you ought to be
keep an eye out for the prompts on our Instagram.
(01:08:07):
Yeah, we can't wait. Can't wait.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you. I'm sinking first.
I'm sinking second, OK.
I feel that I need something to do with my time at the end of
the work day that is not towardsany personal goal, you know,
That's not the podcast, that's not like going to the gym,
that's not about any of my relationships.
Just something that like literally passes the time for me
(00:23):
only. Welcome back.
This is not for everyone. I'm Jess, your lover.
That's Caroline, your hater. It's podcast hosted by a lover
and a hater. We have like an announcement.
(00:43):
I think we have a little bit of housekeeping up top.
Wow, we're so excited. OK, We got a special gift for
the podcast that we decided we wanted to do as a gift.
We're a gift on. We are doing a special podcast
gift this summer, which is goingto be a special summer dating
(01:04):
series. It's going to be all about the
dramas of dating and breakups and trying to like, not lose
your fucking mind when trying tofind love, which is so hard.
Exasperating. The funniest thing to me is that
right now you and I are sitting here in like big sweatshirts,
(01:26):
greasy faces like we're and we're like, we have dating
advice for you this summer. But I think that that means that
it's going to be better because we'll be real about it, you
know? What does the greasiness of my
face have to do with whether or not I haven't?
I'm sorry about the greasy face.I'm really speaking for my own
greasy face, but I don't know, you know what I'm saying.
(01:47):
We're we got grease going? On I think the greasiness of the
face is inversely proportionate to the pain in your dating.
So get that grease up, girls andboys and anybody else.
But we are, we're still going tobe doing regular episodes
through the summer, but we're going to have May through
September, 1 episode a month. That's part of the special
(02:08):
series. We're not going to share too
much more now, but starting at the end of this month, the month
of May, year of our Lord, through till September, I
believe we're doing. We're working on something
special so y'all can get hitched.
Totally. And I think what we need is some
(02:28):
DM, some emails, some whatever. Just start sending us your
dating. What it do's the topics that
you'd like us to talk about in adating series.
We're right now putting togetherwhat that looks like, what the
themes are, and we're going to ask for your input.
But you can start sending stuff to us right now 'cause it'll
help inform the planning. We want to make sure that it's
(02:48):
like what you need, what the people want.
So yeah. And I do highly recommend follow
us on Instagram because that's where we're going to be posting
polls for every episode, once a month for every episode in the
dating series. We're going to be soliciting
(03:09):
specific dating topics. So if you really want your
dating what a do or question answered, find the topic that
suits you and you'll be more likely to be featured.
So again, our Instagram is not for everyone pod with the number
4. Keep up there, you can submit
your what to do. It's going to be crazy sexy
good. Crazy sexy good.
(03:31):
I love that. Maybe that's the name of it.
Speaking of crazy sexy good, I have to tell you what I spent
two hours doing the other night.2 hours crazy sexy good.
Have have any guesses? I'm two hours.
Was it sex? No, no.
(03:51):
Well, that was my only guess because based on.
The IT was untangling a necklace.
I spent two hours untangling a necklace and the only thing I
have to show for it other than an untangled necklace that I can
wear now is that I was like, I guess I'll mention this on the
podcast. Just a quick mention.
I don't think we're going to have a conversation about it
(04:12):
unless, I mean, I don't know, you surprised me.
Sometimes we can maybe we can maybe go on a tangent, but I
just needed to say it somewhere you need.
To say to get to it, exercise yourself of this this.
Experience. I need to be free of it cause
I've been thinking about it every day since it happened.
Two hours. Was it worth it?
(04:32):
Little reflecting back? Would you do it again?
It was satisfying. There is kind of an orgasmic,
like once you get to the end, the last knot that's in that
necklace chain, there's a release.
That happens for sure. So I do think it was satisfying.
At the same time, Ryan was sitting next to me in bed for
(04:53):
the whole 2 hours, just like reading, like we could have been
doing something more crazy, sexy, good.
And that's not what my ADD wanted to do that night.
So that's not what we did. This sounds to me like it might
have scratched the same itch as our shared bad habit of picking
our cuticles. Or that like pimple popper thing
(05:14):
gadget you have like you just need.
You just need somewhere to fiddle like a chipmunk at all
times. It's it's actually, it was, it
was achieving that because in that two hours, I wasn't picking
at my hands. I was looking at something with
an end goal. But there needs to be better
technology for keeping necklacesstraight that nothing had.
(05:36):
Like I bought this necklace and then it was in the little baggie
that it comes in when you buy it, and then I took it out to
wear it and it was in 17 knots like nothing had occurred other
than it existing in the bag thatit was sold to.
Me. Yeah.
Interesting. I feel like you need.
There has to be some kind of device.
(05:58):
There must be. Should I Google this or do we
not care? I don't know.
Somebody will tell us. Even when we Google stuff and
like find an answer, we still get Adm that tells us the same
thing. So I'll just let them.
I'm going to do it anyway. I'm just going to piss them off
and do it anyway. Hold on.
Tool to keep necklaces untangled.
(06:19):
I think the best anyone can do seems to be like a tray where
you lay the necklace out long style.
But they could still get, they could still get kind of mixed
up. Yeah.
Where's the necklace? Where do you technology if I
have like 20 necklaces so I justneed my whole room needs to be
trays for my for my necklaces. Yeah, I've complained about
(06:41):
jewelry storage, which is that Idon't like a giant jewelry box.
I'm just like, what's this fucking box doing here?
Yeah, totally, I would. Have a giant box on my dresser.
It's huge. Or else you have to have a bunch
of little jewelry trays which iskind of actually have a mix of
both, which is the worst of all worlds.
And then it's like I don't know what jewelry is on what tray.
(07:04):
This isn't really a a big problem, like my life is still
pretty good despite this, but itis annoying.
To me, I have my jewelry spread out and I hate that.
I hate that it's spread out. I want it all in one place at
the same time. I don't really want to have a
jewelry box that's just like outall the time.
(07:26):
So I have a small jewelry container on my night stand and
it's like it contains the thingsthat I wear most often and then
I have jewelry storage in my closet.
But the problem is I have a lot of cool other jewelry in that
box in my closet and I don't think of wearing it because it's
put away in a box. Anyway.
(07:47):
I I am bothered by it because I'm trying to accessorize more.
I think people like, I guess people do like what do you, how
do you feel about like a, a necklace tree or one of those
things you hang on the wall, then they just like hang from
the wall. I don't really want to see my
stuff hang on the wall. I want to see it.
It's just like. Glitter cobwebs.
I don't like it. That's.
Exactly what it is. That's exactly what it makes me
(08:08):
feel. Yeah, I've had those before.
And it doesn't do the trick for me.
Like, I like things to be put away.
I think I generally like everything to have a place and
everything to be able to be put away and like hidden from view.
But I want to be able to very quickly, like open that thing.
I don't know, I probably just need whatever it's.
(08:29):
I'm not going to solve the problem right now.
I want to move on. I am upset about it though and
it is affecting my life. It is a, it's a funny thing
because it's one of those thingswhere it's like it's in that
weird middle ground of like a problem that we all have and
there isn't really a great solution to it.
(08:50):
But it's also like not enough ofa problem for there to be like
research grants towards it. So I don't know.
I don't know if we're going to have like great technology
coming out. It just has to be like some
bored house homemaker at home fiddling around who's like tired
of looking at their kids but also tired of looking at their
(09:10):
jewelry and decides to Jerry rigsome kind of device.
So then. What was that movie?
I think it had Jennifer Lawrenceabout exactly like The
Homemaker. Or something.
Yeah, she invented a lot of things.
She invented those hangers for clothing that are like felt so
that your clothing sticks to it.And I think she had a couple
(09:33):
other inventions. I love those too.
So I need someone like that to come up with this solution.
Be the change you want to see inthe world, Jess.
I don't want to. I'm so tired.
I'm so tired. I do want to be silly though.
Let me see what other silly bitsI have.
Oh. OK.
(09:54):
No, no, you go, you go, you go, you go.
No, I'm the What I'm going to say is certainly stupid.
No, please, then please. OK, I just wanted to share that
I came across this subreddit, this forum on Reddit that's it's
just called What's my cookie cutter?
And people, people just share cookie cutters that they have
(10:16):
that are a confusing shape and they don't know what what shape
it's supposed to be like what the animal or figure is supposed
to be. And then people, and then people
try to solve it for them. I have a lot of questions.
Are these cookie cutters that were like passed down through
the generations and that's why they don't know?
(10:36):
They don't have like the original box or something.
Right. They didn't buy it, and then
maybe they even kind of got deformed, like if it's those old
metal ones that you can bend. They're not deformed, they're
just crazy cookie cutters. Like it's fun to watch them salt
'cause you look at the shapes and you're like, that's not
anything that couldn't possibly be anything.
That's just like an amorphous BLOB.
(10:57):
And then somebody knows, like somebody else in the forum has
the original box of the same cookie cutter set from the 70s.
And it's like a special edition where of like snowmen dressed as
reindeer carrying like a pile ofthree presents.
(11:19):
And then it's also like Disney themed and it has mouse ears.
It's something like that. And they'll show the they'll
show the image of it. And so many of them, they're
like, why was this? Why was it?
How is this ever a satisfying cookie cutter?
I guess it wasn't 'cause they didn't really stand the test of
time. There's only a few out there.
I also wanna see. Do they show you what the actual
cookie turns out to look like? Oh, the.
(11:41):
Cookie. You know, 'cause I feel like, I
don't know, maybe if it's a cookie in the cookie form, I
would be able to tell more because some cookie cutters have
those imprints that imprint in the cookie dough on top of it to
the shape. Yeah.
Yeah, these ones are just shapes, Jess.
And I think what makes it bullshit, I think what makes it
bullshit, a bullshit cookie cutter, is that it only is
(12:06):
reminiscent of that thing if youcolor it in with icing the right
way, right? Like the cookie doesn't reveal
any of its secrets. The cookie the there, there's
nothing in the cookie. Do you watch Is it Cake or have
you ever watched it? I've heard of it.
Wait, explain. Is it explain?
It again, OK, I don't watch it but I know about it and
(12:26):
Instagram feeds me clips of it. So basically like it's this show
on Netflix where these cake decorators make very intricate
cakes that are shaped like real life objects and decorated like
real life objects, so much so that you can put the real life
object next to it and not be able to tell which one is real.
(12:49):
That's interesting. And then I think the show, I've
not actually watched the show, but I think it's a little bit of
like a game show format where somebody has to come on and
guess and maybe I don't know. And they have to like look at it
up close but they can't touch itI assume.
Yeah, something like that. I've also seen on Instagram,
there's somebody I started following an artist, like a
sketch artist, who he'll have like half of a lemon and then
(13:15):
he'll draw the other half of thelemon.
So he'll have half of a lemon sitting on a piece of paper.
And then he'll fill in the otherhalf of a, a lemon with his like
pencils, colored pencils and everything and all the shading
he does and whatever. And when it's complete, it
literally looks like a whole lemon.
It's so crazy. I don't know why this is like a
(13:38):
fascinate. There's a part of the human
brain that finds this stuff fascinating, but I have that
part of my brain for sure. Man, when that dude finds out
about photography, he's going tolose his fucking mind.
Over for you bitches. Yeah, it's really cool.
I think there's something thoughto like a return to simpler art
(14:02):
forms like non technology art. Forms cake based.
Art cake. You know what they did in the
olden days with cakes? They made ATV out of a cake in
the olden days for sure. Yeah, I don't know how I feel
about. I definitely get like the the
gimmick of both of those are fun.
(14:22):
Like it's definitely fun to gawkat.
I'm curious the the the is it cake thing.
First of all, it's a hilarious title.
It's already hilarious and it's like it makes a great Instagram
post. But I do wonder how interesting
the show is. Or is like the whole show, just
the punchline of like it's made out of cake and it looks like
(14:44):
it's not. I think that that's kind of the
thing that's kept me from actually watching the show is
that I don't understand how you make a whole show out of it.
But I also think there is an audience for like background TV
like that. Like that could be a really
good, good show to put on while you're doing other stuff.
But there's also people love TheGreat British Bake Off, which
(15:08):
I've watched before I was. Really into that for a while.
It's nice. It's like, cool, I'm good with
it, but it's also it's very wholesome.
That's why I like it. It's so different than other
reality TV competition shows. It's just so sweet and wholesome
and not like perverted. Exactly, and I think that's why
a lot of people like it. I feel like maybe Izzet cake is
(15:31):
like a similar thing of like how'cause it's just kind of like
how. Silly and silly.
Yeah, it's kind of campy. It's camp.
Camp. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I do. I really watch.
It and come. Back, I think my favorite, Yeah.
Watch it and get back to us. My favorite part of it really is
the title, just how like simple and stupid it is.
I feel like that's my favorite kind of humor.
(15:51):
And it makes me really hope thatthe tagline is just like it's
made out of cake, but it's hard to tell.
Or something like that. It's hard to tell it's.
So funny it's it's made out of cake, but it's also really hard
to tell. Tuesdays on Bravo.
(16:15):
Support for Not for Everyone comes from Skims.
There's a reason Jess and I wereraving about Skims bras on this
podcast long before they were ever a sponsor.
I had fully stopped looking for a supportive bra I could
comfortably wear with my scoliosis and back pain.
I just relegated myself to a life of sports bras and accepted
my fate. And then I found the Skims Fits
(16:37):
Everybody T-shirt bra and I never looked back.
If you watch my YouTube videos, that is the bra I'm wearing in
every single one of them, unlessit's a day where I'm flying free
and letting the boobs off leash.And if you're in need of new
underwear, allow me to insist you try the Skims Fits Everybody
Boy Short. I have them in every color.
I did not know that a boy short is supposed to be incredibly
(16:58):
comfortable and lightweight. Please allow me to change your
life. Fits Everybody Boy short.
You are missing out if you are not shopping the Skims best
intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more at
skims.com. And if you want to support our
show, you can let them know I sent you after checkout by
selecting podcast and not for everyone.
Go check it out. You will see what I mean.
(17:30):
OK, I've been watching Love on the Spectrum.
Yes, it's so cute. I haven't watched this new
season yet but I have watch the show and it's so beautiful.
I love it so much and it also makes me feel like it's really
not that different from regular dating.
I think what's so fun about it to me, I mean, one of the many
(17:51):
things that's fun about South Love on the spectrum.
If you haven't watched a show onNetflix where individuals who
are on the autism spectrum to varying degrees, there's there's
a bit of a range go on dates that are basically set up by the
show. And then you see the individuals
(18:13):
like with their family and in their community and you
obviously just learn a lot aboutthem.
But it is a dating show and they're looking for love and
it's done very just sweetly. I think the concept sounds like
it. I didn't think people were
afraid at first. Like, I wonder what it was like
pitching that show because I feel like before seeing the way
(18:35):
it was executed, you could definitely envision it being
like exploitative or disrespectful or horrible, as
all reality TV is exploitative and disrespectful and horrible.
But it's like really beautiful and pure.
And so I think the things I loveabout it is that A, these
(18:56):
individuals, at least on the show, who are, you know, they're
they're talkative and social enough, but they're also have a
hard enough time reading social cues as one of the main things
they struggle with that there is0.
There's almost zero chance that they're hamming it up for the
(19:16):
camera. I'm sure they can ham it up a
little, but it's like it makes it feel so much more genuine
than other people on reality TV even sometimes they're there
with like family members who arenot on the autism spectrum and
the family members, you know, are hamming it up because
they're on TV. But these the other individuals,
(19:38):
like they, they couldn't ham it up if they wanted to because
they have, they struggle to likeread social vibes sometimes.
So that's that's a core part of it.
So it feels so much more authentic than other TV and then
so genuine. And then it also occurred to me
that the dating part isn't it. It is different in some ways
(20:00):
from your and my experience dating, but in a lot of ways
it's not. And in a lot of ways, they just,
like, articulate. All the things that we all go
through of like feeling really afraid or feeling overexcited,
trying not to get ahead of yourself, like not knowing what
the other person means or not knowing what they want.
And obviously there's differences, but there's a lot
(20:23):
that just feels like they've putwords and vocalize the things
that we all feel in dating and I.
Really love that. Yeah, I think that's so true.
I think the part that is, well, I haven't watched enough of it
to really know, but the episodesthat I've seen, I feel like
they'll get they'll they'll fallinto it really quickly with a
(20:47):
person like if they like the person that they go on the date
with, they're like ready to cuddle up.
They're ready to like be best friends.
They're ready to do things all the time.
It's very cute and pure. And because, you know, that
they're on the autism spectrum, there is like a inherent kind of
just trust you have that they'renot faking it or anything.
(21:08):
This is really how they feel. Yeah.
And I think it's kind of nice tosee.
On one hand, it's nice to see because maybe the rest of us
hold ourselves back on a first or second date when it's still
early. But we really, we do feel
something. I feel like social cues tell us
to like, quiet that and be chilland be, like, patient.
(21:32):
And I feel like they let themselves just, like, fall in
love faster. And I've enjoyed that part of
the show when I've watched it. And at the same time, it also,
yeah, it just makes me wonder, do these couples last?
Like, have they ever followed? Yeah.
Yeah, there's like I actually started on the third season and
(21:55):
there's a couple on there who's been together for like two or
three years and I guess I don't know much longer than that.
But it in a way this is this is what I've like gathered so far.
I'm not an expert, so not complete knowledge, but what
I've noticed at least so far, isthat honestly the main kind of
(22:20):
match it seems like a lot of them are looking for is just
shared interests because their special interests are such a
like huge part of their personality.
Like, you know, one girl loves trains and if somebody and if
some, if she goes on a date withsomebody who has zero interest
in trains, that's basically the end of it.
(22:43):
Yeah. But if they find someone who
also really likes trains, there's other things that have
to match. But it, it, I did see, I kind of
interpreted that as one big difference between the way they
seem to date and the way other people date, which is I think
when we give advice on the on the podcast or to friends and
family and stuff, I think peopleover index on interests.
(23:06):
Unless you're on the autism spectrum, then go for it because
that seems very, very like almost the most important thing
to them. But I think you and I like, I
always give. I really think people over index
on like do we have the same interests and hobbies?
In music and. The number, the number of times
I've dated people with the same interests in me and then like
(23:27):
it, it fell apart that those aren't actually the things that
I have found to lend to compatibility.
Yeah, but that did seem to be a difference.
Yeah. On Love on the Spectrum.
Yeah, that's a good point. I do think that that is a
difference. I mean, it doesn't mean that,
you know, people like you and mecan't have shared interests with
(23:49):
a partner, but it's like not thething to make the decision on.
And it does seem like on the show.
That's like all they care about.That's like all they.
Care about yeah, but maybe there's also, you know, there's,
there's a shared understanding of the experience of being a
person with autism, right. So maybe there's maybe there's a
(24:10):
lot of assumed like, you know what my life is like.
I I know that there's so much variety.
But all of them go on dates withpeople with who also are on the
autism spectrum who they don't like.
So it's not as simple as that. They go on plenty of dates with
people on the spectrum and. They like some and they don't
like some, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(24:31):
So I should get back to watchingit because it really is is
delightful. Also you mentioned like what an
interesting show to have to pitch, isn't it Australian?
Am I right about that or did started in Australia?
I think the odd original was either Australian or British.
Yeah, for some reason it being an Australian show originally
(24:52):
like makes so much sense to me. I don't know.
I I really know nothing about Australia, but I just have an
impression based on very little information that people there
are just like happy and friendlyand nice.
That is the. Impression I have and I don't
know, like I've never been thereand I wonder if like, that's an
ignorant generalization for me to make.
(25:14):
But they're human beings, so some of them suck.
Yeah. And I, I do feel like Britain
and Australia seem to produce a lot of really sweet reality TV
and then the US just, like, copies it and bastardizes it.
Yeah. Exactly.
That's kind of why I'm like, Oh yeah, I could see in Australia
this show being pitched and everyone just being like really
(25:37):
jazzed about it and wanting to do it in the right way and all
this stuff. Yeah, I really wonder what that
process was like, how hard it was, because before it came out
or actually even after it came out, there was some small
faction of people who were like,this is exploitative, like blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. Like they're just being tooled
around. And then the the individuals who
(25:58):
are featured on the show, the people on the spectrum on the on
the show itself had to reply, replied just of their own accord
and was like, first of all, for you to say this is exploitative
and that we don't know what we're doing or like that we have
no agency, see here is so insulting.
That's what's insulting. Like you have no idea what our
experience was. Yeah, we're not.
(26:18):
I'm not actually like a dog or achild.
Well, yeah, that's the reason this show is needed, to educate
you that, like I, I'm a fully functioning adult with a brain
who can make choices for myself.I just have these certain
differences about me, basically.Like, that's why we want to put
this show out, because there's some of you who don't get it.
Yeah. Yeah, it is funny.
I think I'm I could talk about this forever.
(26:40):
I do think there's like such a big a huge portion of people who
think they are like doing a goodjob of like the the PC police
who I think we've talked about this a little bit before, but
who like don't fully know what they're supposed to be sounding
(27:01):
the alarm about. So they just kind of sound the
alarm about like anything that maybe has some of the keywords
that like reality TV on the spectrum, like inside look and
they're like exploited him bad. And I think a lot of people
(27:21):
don't know exactly what to soundthe alarm about.
They just know some of like the keywords.
And so they and I I think it's ends up being very and it's
damaging and disappointing to methat that people can't like
there's just such a lack of nuance today.
It's so. That's what I was just going to
say. It has so much to do with nuance
(27:42):
because yeah, like just taking what the top level headlines or
like red flags would be and thenimmediately jumping to a
conclusion that this is wrong, whatever it is.
Yeah, people before they even saw it.
Exactly, Exactly. Yeah, I and I think that's a lot
(28:02):
of what holds us back as a society is just canceling things
before seeing what they really are and understanding what their
intention is and all of that. Like, it holds us back from
having important conversations about what is autism really
like, to use this example, you know, like what?
(28:23):
What should we be mindful of andwhat is just the same as every
person you know, like the. Answer can't just be like never
ever show. Never talk about.
It on a show ever Because it might be bad like that doesn't
sound like the solution. Exactly, exactly, exactly.
I think it just holds us back. And that's probably the reason
why you said like, you know, pitching a show like that, I
(28:45):
wonder what it went like. Yeah, because there's a lot of
but. I bet it was hard.
I bet it was hard. I bet it was hard because people
shy away from taking on subjectsthat could have a high
prevalence of those keywords. So especially like a studio of a
massive student like television studio are not known to be like
the biggest like creative minds and risk takers.
(29:09):
Yeah, it makes me think of, like, how I was reading recently
about how Gen. Z who grew up watching
millennials embarrass themselveson the Internet.
Like, when we were on the Internet, it was just like
posting every inane, unpostable thought on our Facebook status
and our Instagram posts and blah, blah, blah.
(29:32):
And Gen. Z interacts.
First of all, they're like, not on Facebook.
And they use Instagram very differently from millennials, if
at all. And what they do use most of all
is Snapchat because it disappears and it's like, harder
to be endlessly mocked. And they like, like Gen.
Z was really raised in this culture of like hyper vigilance
(29:52):
and really fear of like, if you say one thing, you can be made
into an intermittent, into an Internet meme forever and it'll
live on forever and everyone will laugh at you forever.
And so, and it's Gen. Z is really this culture of like
hyper vigilance and self vigilance and like not wanting
like in some ways, like not wanting to publicly express too
(30:15):
much. And it's just seems like so sad.
That's interesting. I.
Didn't really realize. I mean it makes sense what
you're saying but I wouldn't have used those words to
describe Gen. Z.
Although I obviously have a verylimited knowledge and I'm not
Gen. Z myself.
But like that surprises me that that's.
(30:37):
I think not expressing like maybe they express themselves in
clothing and fashion, but not asmuch like sharing thoughts just
like Willy nilly the way millennials did.
And I do think it's the reason Snapchat like they stopped using
Instagram even. And if they do put something on
Instagram, it's like very minimal.
They don't like shared diatribesand stuff as as a, you know,
(31:00):
wide generalization. And then they've really
gravitated towards Snapchat, which is like ephemeral.
Right. No, that is true about there's
like this shift on Instagram to posting more minimal stuff like
just pictures, like a picture of, you know, a napkin on a
table, like. Yeah, monthly.
(31:20):
Recap and it's like a rock and anapkin and like maybe one
picture of you. I don't know if I'm ever gonna,
like, grow to that level. I don't know if I aspire to
that. I know that's what cool people
do. They just like, yeah, they just
pick, pick, post a dump of like different napkins they used and
like, right plates, like fancy plates covered in crumbs.
It's like they moved the camera while they took the picture and
(31:42):
I guess that makes it. Yeah, like a maybe a mirror
selfie of like their ankle in front of like a dirty mirror.
And like, I don't, I don't know,it just feels like it's way more
work to be that elusive and mysterious and I'm fine just
being a a traditional ham. I think that that's great.
I think that being a ham is whatis what you were meant to do.
(32:05):
I actually OK, oh, maybe this isa joke.
You were talking about Gen. Z and then you were talking
about, you said the thing about a mirror selfie of the ankle on
a dirty floor or whatever. And I thought of this
influencer, podcaster, whoever named Gabby Windy.
Do you know who she is? No.
She so she was on the bachelor. That's when she first like came
(32:28):
on the scene. She was one of the girls dating
the bachelor and she kind of like made a name for herself on
that show because this bachelor really fucked things up.
And she kind of told him off at the end, and it was like a very
empowering moment to watch on a show that doesn't usually center
women's empowerment. So she was like, I liked her
(32:50):
right away from that. She went on to be The
Bachelorette herself. She actually got engaged from
the show and then that engagement broke up and then.
That. Came out and then right and then
she came out as gay. She came out as a lesbian and
started dating a comedian who she's now married to anyway.
So she's like become this icon because of this trajectory of
(33:12):
like, being one of the girls dating the Bachelor.
What's her name? Gabby Windy, she has a podcast.
It's very chaotic. It's it's fun if you're in the
right mood for it, but it's definitely like, I don't know,
it's like a definitely a certainmood.
She just goes on these long ranty tangents.
(33:32):
Anyway, I sometimes listen to itand she always references how
she's she's Gen. Z and she like makes fun of
millennials. And I've just had in the back of
my mind how old is she? I think she's at least my age.
Like I'm confused that she keepssaying let me look at that.
She's Gen. Z and sure enough, she's 34.
(33:52):
So she's not she's our age. She's a millennial.
Maybe she just. Identifies as just.
Now I'm connecting the dots thatmaybe that's a bit that she does
where she just wants to identifywith Gen.
Z over millennials. Anyway, this is a whole tangent,
but this conversation made me think of her because I think
we're getting to the age like millennials.
(34:15):
Our generation is getting to theage where we're not the cool
ones anymore. We're a little older now.
Like there's a new, the generation that's in their 20s
is not our generation. And that's typically like the
cool ones setting the trends so much so that millennials are
ready to abandon ship. They're like, I'm not a
millennial. I I'm fine with it.
(34:36):
Let me be a ham, you know. Let me be a ham.
Yeah. I don't wanna.
Yeah. I mean, I never really felt.
I genuinely never felt like I was occupying any cool anything.
But I do understand what you mean that like we were the 20
year olds who got to like criticize the generation above
us and criticize the status quo and we're going to do it
(34:58):
differently. La La La La la.
I was also thinking about like different things that make me
laugh about our generation getting older is like, I feel
like in the 2000s, two thousand 10s, maybe more, 2000 tens, it
was trendy for our age to wear like really tight fitting stuff
(35:20):
like bodycon dresses and stuff like that.
And because that's what we were doing in our 20s, that was kind
of the fashion of the time because the 20 year olds are
doing it. And now I see myself and a lot
of 30 whatever year olds, millennials dressing in more
(35:41):
like, I don't know what the word, but less body clinging
stuff like a little more like loose fitting or more structured
or it's more mature. And that is basically what
happens for every generation when they get out of their 20s,
they start dressing a little bitmore mature.
Like that's pretty normal. You don't see like most, you
(36:02):
know, grandmas walking around inbody con dresses.
You start dressing, you know, a little more, better tailoring,
better structured clothes, better made clothes, not just
from Forever 21, whatever. But the thing that's different
is also that we still portray that on social media.
(36:22):
And so I wondered, I think I waswondering if like, OK, so
millennials who've always kind of lead paved the way on social
media are now doing their transition to like more mature
clothing. And I wonder if that will have
like a trickle down effect to younger generations who would
otherwise still be in their bodycon era but are now gonna like,
(36:43):
because I, I think because of social media and all looking at
ourselves too often, it kind of,I feel like it helped me realize
that a super tight dress just doesn't usually look that good.
Like it's so forgiving and if you like eat a single green
bean, like you don't feel good in it and stuff like that, like
it maybe it looks good on a, youknow, in the picture when you
(37:05):
buy it on the store. But then day-to-day it's
uncomfortable and blah, blah, blah.
And I do feel like, I don't know, seeing myself on YouTube,
seeing myself in pictures all the time.
It's like help to realize that more.
And I was just wondering, maybe this isn't interesting.
No, it is. But I was, I was just wondering
if like the inundation of seeingourselves more is going to to
like have a permanent effect on the younger kids dressing in a
(37:31):
more provocative way. Like maybe that will be more.
I don't know. I see what you're saying.
I don't know. So basically like typically
younger generations are dressingmore provocatively.
As you get older you dress more mature, classic like.
Flattering. Yeah, it flatters.
You a. Little more covered Flattering,
(37:53):
yeah. And so, but because we're really
the first generation on social media who is reaching that like
mid 30s, whatever time. Frame and so many, so many of
our generation are still these main influencer moguls who are
like demonstrating and you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's what I, that's whatI was wondering when you were
(38:15):
talking about. It is like how much of it is
regular people posting and whatever and influencing their
communities, their friends. How much of it is people with
the following influencers, celebrities, whatever.
How much is it like, I don't know, 'cause I also just believe
that they're anytime I travel, like anytime I go to Europe,
(38:38):
they're wearing what I like. I notice what they're wearing
and it's not what I'm wearing. And then like a year and a half
later, I'm like, oh, that's whatthey were wearing when I was in
Italy. Oh, 'cause they were a.
Year and a half ago, 'cause theywere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then some of it is just like other parts of the world
(38:59):
influence what eventually becomes mainstream.
Like, I don't know, I would be interested in the anthropology
or something of like what the. It is very interesting.
What that flow is and where the different trends come from.
And then also, there's like a cyclical time nature to trends
(39:19):
where the stuff that's in now amongst Gen.
Z is what we were wearing when we were in high school or
whether we were wearing it or not, I don't know.
But it was what was trendy at the time.
So yeah, I'm very, I actually amvery fascinated by where does
this all come from? It's not that long ago.
It wasn't actually that long ago.
Don't fashion trends usually come in cycles of like 30 years?
(39:41):
Pretty much. Yeah, that was 15 years.
That was 15 years ago. I feel like that's not like the
the fashion cycles. Like the major cycles are
usually almost exactly every 30 years.
So the 15 year 1 is so weird to me.
And I almost think maybe that's because of social media or.
It's just like. Everything's going faster.
(40:03):
Everything's going faster. And when we were in high school,
we had Facebook and I don't know, things get out into and
things get out into the ether faster, and then it all starts
happening faster. Yeah, yeah.
I know you're right, any of thismakes sense, but I don't.
I think we're locked in on. AI feel like we're we're locked
(40:24):
in and feeling we're very high without any help.
But I will. I think what you said is making
me think and maybe it's making me amend my statement after
thinking about what you said. I feel like my actual thought is
just how I agree. There's so many things obviously
that influence the fashion trends who people are looking to
(40:45):
at what age they're looking to, how they're seeing themselves,
how information travels around the world, blah, blah, blah.
And I just think there's like one additional or one shift
included now, which is that I feel like before social media,
(41:06):
the aspirational fashion was always represented, pretty much
always represented by a movie stars or B models who were
usually people who represented like youth and beauty and blah,
blah, blah. And really a certain age.
But now the one change is that we have influencers growing up
(41:29):
who are getting into their 30s, forties, 50s.
It's going to be a whole generation of like OG
influencers in their 60s. And I wonder because they get a
hold on to some degree of that influence in a way that didn't
exist in past generations. I wonder how that will affect
things is my question. Yeah, I totally agree with that.
Now you can access any influencer, celebrity, whatever
(41:55):
at any age. You can find pictures of what
they look like, how they're styling themselves, how they're
styling their home, how they're,you know, what types of
vacations are they going on, Like whatever.
You can find out what people aredoing who are in that position
of like setting the trends. Yeah.
So basically my thought is that you can access any person who
(42:20):
you want to follow as your fashion icon, trendsetter at any
age now. And that wasn't something that
we were able to do before. So I agree, I think that will
have an influence, but I don't, I'm not quite sure what that
influence will be yet 'cause youknow, like you and I are looking
at influencers who are probably more in the millennial bracket
(42:42):
in our generation. And that's our kind of sphere of
influence of like, oh, these arethe people, but Gen.
Z has their own sphere of influential people.
We know about some of them, but we don't know about all of them.
You know, they're, they're not necessarily looking, we're not,
they're not necessarily looking at the same people we're looking
at, I guess, is my. Point that's true.
It's yeah, it's all too much. It's all too much.
(43:04):
I'm also thinking about how Speaking of things being too
much like like YouTube videos videos on YouTube.
It's only been around since like2009.
It's in its infancy and there's too many videos out there.
Literally what are they going todo in like 50 years?
(43:25):
And there's just like videos of everybody's great grandfather
make making slime as a child on YouTube, like making glitter
slime. Like what are how are they going
to organize this stuff? I mean, how?
Yeah, like the cloud better get ready to handle all that data.
That's just a lot of like footage, so.
Much I feel like there needs to be.
(43:47):
I've listen. I had a lot of really big ideas
this week. I feel like there needs to be an
Internet place, maybe there already is, where you can like
search the Internet based on year that already exists.
Wait, I think that does exist. Well, it depends on exactly what
you mean there's. I'm just saying you're going to
need it more soon. Oh yeah, there's something where
(44:10):
you can plug in any website. Oh, the way back, the way back
machine or. Whatever, it'll take you back to
like the older versions of the website so you could look at
what the Internet looked like when it first started,
basically. I just found out this week that
that's an actual website. I thought whenever people said,
well we went to the way back machine, I thought they were
(44:31):
always just being fucking tryingto be fucking cute and annoying
and being like we're going to goway.
Way. Back in time I thought it was a
euphemism, or like an idiom or something.
I could see that. I also didn't know.
Like, I feel like I never talked.
This is the first time I've everspoken about it, so I don't
think it comes up for me. Yeah.
(44:52):
OK, OK. Didn't you say you had something
stupid to tell me? Oh, I have so many stupid things
to tell you. Let me find.
Let me find that. Support for not for everyone
comes from Zocdoc. If there's a doctor's visit you
keep putting off, I'm talking toyou.
(45:12):
Yes, you you invest in your friends, your job, your
retirement plan. But I'm going to be super blunt
right now, You don't get to enjoy any of those things down
the road if you're not first taking care of your health.
It's that simple. Make that doctor's appointment.
Prioritize the things that matter most for yourself and for
the people who love you. Zocdoc makes it easy.
(45:32):
It is free. I've used it for over 10 years.
You can search and compare high quality doctors, you can filter
by doctors who take your insurance and you can instantly
book an appointment. Every doctor has their whole
schedule posted online so you can see their availability and
just click the appointment that works for your schedule.
It should never be difficult to make an appointment when it
(45:53):
comes to your health and Zoc Talk makes it so freaking easy.
Stop putting off that doctor's appointment.
Go to zocdoc.com/not for everyone all spelled out to find
and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
thatszocdoc.com/not for everyone.
Zocdoc.com/not for everyone. I'm trying to start reading.
(46:29):
I know everyone's shocked and dismayed.
I'm trying to start reading because I feel that I need
something to do with my time at the end of the work day that is
not towards any like personal goal, you know, That's not the
podcast, that's not like going to the gym.
(46:52):
That's not whatever. Just not about any of my
relationships, not about Ryan, not about my friends, not about
my family. Just something that like
literally passes the time for me.
I like that. I like that as a goal of being
like, it's not supposed to have a goal.
Yes, I mean that so badly. I feel like everything in my
life is too goal oriented. And so I was thinking about
(47:14):
options and I'm going to try a few different things.
But one of the things I think I'm going to try is reading
because people seem to like it and I've just never been a big
reader. So I was trying to figure out
what books to get. I got a library card, I
downloaded the library app Libby, which is an amazing app
by the way. And you can get all these free
(47:36):
audiobooks on there. So I was like, great, maybe I'll
start with an audiobook to like ease my way in 'cause I'm
definitely a podcast consumer. Like I'm more used to that that
style. So I found a book and got the
audiobook and started listening and like audiobooks sound wrong
(47:58):
like they said. Like I don't want to listen to
them the way that audiobooks arecurrently recorded.
This is based on one audiobook, mind you.
Literally in our last episode you were talking about how you
love audiobooks. What?
Yeah. When did I say that?
I was listening to it today. You were just talking about
like, that's why I love audiobooks, because you don't.
(48:19):
Like because unless you do. Things with your hands.
You've changed. You've changed this.
Then tell me I already agree. I also agree.
I was probably just generalizingto make myself seem smarter.
And really I just meant podcasts.
I only listen to podcasts. I have I This is not the first
audio book I've ever listened to.
I have listened to like 3. It was like a bad narrator, bad
(48:40):
voiceover or whatever. Yeah, I think it maybe was just
like the bad narration, bad voiceover.
It's. Some of the most so bad.
I don't want it to feel like someone's reading a book to me.
I want it to feel which maybe ismy.
Problem. What do you want it to feel?
I want it to feel like a podcast, I want it to feel like
someone's talking to me, and it happens to make up a really
great book. OK so is this a criticism for
(49:03):
their acting skills? Like it's too stylized and you
want it to be more natural. I think so, I think.
Or do you want? Very like content to be.
Like Once Upon a time, La La, la, la.
And I'm like, I want the cadenceof it and the tone of voice to
just be a little more relaxed, like they're talking.
Even though it is a book and I you.
(49:25):
Just want it to be more naturalistic.
Yeah. That's why Jim Dale, who
narrated the Harry Potter series, is just the greatest of
all time. It doesn't.
It doesn't make you feel like you're listening to audio
narration. You just feel like you're living
a story. That's awesome.
That's what I want. I want more.
(49:47):
A lot of them are bad like that.A lot of them are really bad.
A lot of them are really bad. And then also sometimes if
they're not really bad, they just like don't mesh with what
you envision as the tone of the rock or something and like just
it. Just doesn't hold my attention.
It's just I agree as. Soon as you're reading to me,
(50:08):
I'm tuning out. You know, like, I'm not here
anymore because I I went througha few pages of this book on the
audiobook, and I just noticed that I wasn't paying attention
because it felt too much like background narration as opposed
to telling me a story. Yeah.
It's like, that's what's good about it and what's bad.
It's good because you can zone out and do other things and like
(50:31):
do your nails, but it's also badif you want it to capture your
attention. Also, sorry, my rosacea is
really. No, please don't apologize for
your rosacea. You just look rosy cheeked.
It's really acting up right now,but OK, I think I have a
solution for you. OK.
This is this is going to be stupid, but.
(50:52):
It's all I want. It's important to me the only
type of solution I want. Which is that I like just
realized that there's OK. So I'm I'm an OK reader.
Usually I've read non fiction, but I haven't really been
reading any books recently. And then I don't know when I
think of fiction, I'm just like,I don't give a fuck about this
(51:16):
sci-fi whatever. I don't give a fuck about this
romance really. I don't really give a fuck about
like this interesting character.I don't really give a fuck.
I just don't care. Why I don't care And and then
which is why I only read non fiction because I didn't really
like fiction, I thought. And then I was on Instagram and
I saw a post by one of our fellow podcasters, Amanda
(51:39):
Montel, host of Sounds Like a Cult Pod.
But on her Instagram, she also has kind of like a book talk.
She always like shares differentbooks.
She's a big reader. She made this post being like,
here are my 6 wrecks for gross girl books.
Gross girl where there is like romance girl, like history girl,
(52:02):
and this one was gross girl. I think I saw this.
And I, I looked up all six and Ibought all six of them.
They sound so good. And I started one and it's so
fucked up. But it's a novel and it's so
fucked up and it's so twisted and it kind of like, it kind of
feels like reading a modern day female meets social media
(52:25):
version of I'm American Psycho. But it's and it's comedic in the
same way because it's like so bad, so dark and absurd.
It's completely absurd. And I'm, it's called a touch of
Jen is the one I've started and it's like horrifying.
It's like horror, gore, mystery,sci-fi horror, basically stalker
(52:49):
or something. But it's also really weird.
I don't know. And and it just made me realize
I was like, oh, well, that's thekind of TVI like watching.
Like I like true crime and I like horror stuff and I like
scandalous whatever. And there are, there's obviously
books on that, but the only books, the only novels that I
(53:11):
know, anybody I know reads, it'salways like, oh, a tale of two
fishermen in Scotland or I don'tknow, all my family reads like
very hoity toity books. It's like the history of the
Chesapeake Bay told from the point of view of a farmer.
That's fiction. It's amazing story.
(53:32):
I'll get this the fuck away fromme.
I am loving this and it should. I don't know why I think I've
never even heard of the novels that I mean, I did read American
Psycho and I loved it and there's that's a whole genre and
I think it just helped me to be like, oh, there's a book
equivalent to like the TV and movies I like to watch.
(53:53):
See, that's why I. Told you this.
This makes me sound really stupid.
No, no, genuinely, I'd never seen anybody reading a book like
this. Like, the book I'm reading is
about this heterosexual couple who the only thing keeping them
together is they're like, para socially obsessed with this
influencer and like, basically wanna like, wear her skin.
And the girl and the guy in thisrelationship are just like, both
(54:17):
like very twisted and perverted and like, something's wrong with
them. And then the male, the guy in
the relationship is like you hear his narration a lot and he
obviously has it has like a gorefascination.
And he like they're watching a horror movie together and he's
like complaining about how they don't show.
Like there's a a scene where in the movie they're torturing a
(54:37):
dog and he's like, why don't they ever torture the animals on
screen? Like they.
Always do it on. Screen and like just like this
weird shit. And he he obviously like doesn't
love his girlfriend and he's always imagining that this like
influencer is like, he like wants his girlfriend to like put
a mask of the influencer's face on her face.
And he is obviously just like brimming with violent potential
(54:58):
and like this very sick. But it's very funny.
It's very, very funny because it's so absurd kind of the way
American Psycho is actually quite funny.
And it's like my mom or my sister or my dad never walked
around with novels like this. So I didn't even really know it
was a thing. Yes.
If that helps. It it helps a lot Well well, so
(55:21):
I won't be reading that book because I hate horror.
I hate, I hate, hate, hate gore.I I like that's not my thing.
However, the point about. Oh, but it's also it's also very
sexy and perverted. It's also sexy and perverted.
No, that's good. To clarify, I still won't read
it, but I but I like that for someone and for you.
(55:42):
But I do think the point about TV is spot on.
I spent a lot of time in Reddit forums this week looking up
books that are like Severance, and I know that's something you
wouldn't look. Up dude.
That's a whole genre of. Course it is, I already have
rewatched it because I'm obsessed with it.
I love the like, yeah like the it's sci-fi ish but there's like
(56:05):
more of a meaning of life aspectto it and it's like twisted but
it's not gory. Like, but it's mysterious.
And it's been. Telling.
But it's like, it's still like light enough.
Yeah. So I, yeah, I'm currently
looking for that. If people have recommendations
that fit that description. And if you've watched Severance
(56:26):
and you have a book that you've read that's like similar vibes,
I think that would captivate me because I do think, OK, first of
all, yes, the TV tip is spot on.Second of all, because I'm not a
big reader, I really need something to hold my attention.
And that's why the suspense element is really important
because I need it like White Lotus almost where you know
(56:48):
somebody dies at the end and youjust want to find out who it is.
Even if the whole season disappoints you, you stick it
out 'cause you want to get to the end to know who dies.
I kind of need that in a book. I need like something that's
keeping me there because I'm notthe person that gets obsessed
with the book usually. So anyway, I think those are my
(57:08):
2 requirements. Like thinking about TV shows and
what maps to books and then likean element of suspense.
But I am just more comedy very important.
Like I just appreciate writing to be done in a funny way.
It doesn't need to be like a laugh out loud book, but like if
the writing is kind of cheeky orsomething, I think I like that.
(57:32):
And then yeah, I just need to be.
I just need my attention to be held somebody.
Yeah, when people describe a book and they're just like, oh,
it's just such a beautiful world.
Like the the world she paints isso beautiful.
I don't get it. The fuck away from me.
I don't care. I bet it is beautiful and I
can't wait to see it as a movie.I'm not gonna read this.
(57:53):
There's a world that means that there's probably way too many
characters for me to keep track of way too.
Many. Places, let's keep it to like 4
key rooms. You know Severance has the
office and the home and the sister's house.
Like keep it to like 3 locations.
Let's keep it to vibes. Vibes.
Let's keep it to. Vibes or like, Oh my God, did
you ever open a page of like I Ilike I liked Lord of the rings.
(58:17):
I enjoyed the two episodes I sawof Game of Thrones and both of
those books. They'll spend like 12 pages
describing someone's code. I'm dead.
I already died. I already died.
I already burned this book. Yeah.
I couldn't believe the audacity of some people.
You know, well-intentioned. I put a question box on my story
(58:41):
asking for book recommendations and I specifically said book
recommendations for people who don't like reading and the
number of people that say Game of Thrones, like what are you
talking about? That's 1000 page book and I
didn't watch that show also because I don't wanna have to
like learn a language. They have a different language.
(59:02):
What? Different language.
I live in this world and speak this language.
Are you kidding? I don't read.
Don't ask me to read that. Yeah, so that those are actually
my three. That's my 3rd requirement. 1 is
my TV show preferences, 2 is suspense, 3 is light comedy,
whatever. And four is just think about
(59:22):
what somebody who doesn't read would finally start reading for.
And do you ever read to me? Do you ever read the Amelia
Bedelia series? Love love, I would read them
again. I would read them again.
So yeah, I that was actually a big.
I'm glad you brought that up. It was a big revelation for me
(59:43):
this week. Amanda Montel, check out her
podcast. That's a great pod.
She's a friend of ours and I'm yeah, gross girl books.
It was like that is what I am The other, the other book, I'll
tell you what, the other book, the other two books I got 1 is
called Vladimir, which actually my sister did read and she said
it was great. So if it has her stable
approval, yes, like that goes a long way for me 'cause I feel
(01:00:07):
like she legitimizes books. Yeah, yeah, she's picky and it's
it's called Vladimir and it's about, I think it's told from
the the perspective of this woman who was a professor and
her. My husband is still currently a
professor or he was a professor and then this like scandal comes
up about like his questionable behavior with students hashtag
(01:00:28):
gross girl books. And then the other one I got is
really is going to upset some people, but apparently it's
amazing writing and is I'm what is it called?
It's called Tampa and it's about.
I've heard of that I. Think a teacher I I don't know,
this doesn't sound like you. Maybe I've.
(01:00:49):
Just heard of the city. It's about a teacher who grooms
and molests a child who's who istheir student.
And it's like, you know, the epitome of like this unreliable
narrator, kind of like, you know, Lolita, It tells the story
of a pedophile basically, but gets into the head of this
(01:01:12):
monster, basically this monster who is narrating and justifies
everything they're doing in their mind.
It's justified and. I haven't.
I haven't started that one, but I am very interested.
I understand a lot of people probably would not enjoy reading
it, but all of these to me get at warped psychology which is
(01:01:32):
like endlessly fascinating to me.
Yeah. Are you reading the other two at
once? Are you a person that reads
multiple books at the same time?OK, that's a really strange
thing to me. Akayate does that.
She reads multiple books over the course of like a couple
months and I'm like, how do you decide, right, which one to pick
up at any given time? Like how do you keep up with the
(01:01:55):
characters? At that rate, well.
So true, so true. She honestly, I'd be checking my
story watches sometimes and her name's not in there.
She's like not, she's not keeping up with me on Instagram.
Yeah, you know, people, you haveto work hard at friendships
these days, and if she's busy reading, then she's neglecting.
Important time for me she's in. Her life like liking your
(01:02:15):
stories. That's yeah, that's what it all
comes back to. We're going to see Beyoncé.
Wait, I can't believe that you kept that to yourself this whole
episode. Oh, thank you.
I've been trying to just like, you know, not make it about
that. But now, now that we're near the
end, it's about that. It's about that.
I want to see Beyoncé on Thursday and what is it?
(01:02:39):
What is it? So this is the cowboy Carter
tour. So it's for like western tour.
So I got this dress from newly my favorite rental service and
it's like a strapless denim dress that is kind of like MIDI
length. It it's like gonna be so hot.
It's like close to the body, butthen it kind of like goes out at
(01:02:59):
the bottom a little bit like, and then I need to figure out
the shoes. Because the problem is that
Beyoncé's tours are at big stadiums.
Like she's playing where the football team plays in in
Chicago. So it's like huge.
There's going to be so many people.
And we went two years ago and it's a whole fucking thing to
get in and out of there because there's only like 1 path that
(01:03:22):
they put all these people who came to the Beyoncé concert on
to leave at night anyway. There's lots of walking involved
and it's pretty annoying. So like ideally a western, like
I don't have cowboy boots but I would buy them for this.
But I don't think that'll be comfortable.
Oh, I think cowboy boots can be comfortable.
Though, but I guess maybe you have to break them in.
(01:03:43):
Good quality ones. What if you get some cowboy
boots now and wear them for the next couple days?
I also think I think they shouldbe bedazzled.
I know I don't. You know they should, yes.
Yes, I know they. Should.
Or what if they said do you havelike a bedazzled just like block
heel boot? Even if it's not, I feel like
(01:04:06):
you do. Even if it's not a cowboy.
Block heel boots, but not bedazzled ones.
Bedazzled could be more bedazzled could be more like
versatile. Yeah, but I'm, I mean, I'm even
nervous about a boot because of The Walking.
Like I, I think I might end up getting cheap sneakers on Amazon
that are like silver or bedazzled or something.
(01:04:27):
Bedazzled. Never wear again.
Bedazzled them. Yeah, that might be the move.
And then Kai and I are going to,there's a Western store for some
reason, like a few blocks away from where I live in Chicago,
and we're going to go there in acouple days and like, shop for
accessories. So maybe like a belt buckle or a
hat or a bandana anyway, or a bolo tie.
(01:04:50):
I feel like that would look really good on me.
Personally, Oh, that's sexy, right?
And then the little, the little bolos or whatever they are,
bolos can dangle, dangle in yourcleavage.
Yeah, dangles are pretty important for for sex appeal.
I think that's a quote. Dangles are pretty important for
sex. I think.
I think. Kai does Kai.
(01:05:12):
Is Kai able to participate in Beyoncé to the level of you?
Yes, very much so, yes. Because I do remember a couple
years ago, I'm pretty sure you were going to, I don't remember
if it was a Beyoncé concert or aJohn Mayer concert.
And you're like, I just decided to go alone because nobody be
will be able to enjoy it as muchas me.
And I don't want to be like catering to them.
Correct. That was John Mayer.
I will do that again. That was the best, best decision
(01:05:35):
ever. I would do it again.
I don't want to have to like, explain to people why I'm
crying. You can't come with me.
I don't know if she's very. Into 20 years of emotion, OK.
Yeah, exactly. She's heard of Beyoncé.
She's heard of. Beyoncé, she's heard of her.
It was honestly, she's the one that pushed us to get the
tickets 'cause we went to see her together two years ago or a
(01:05:58):
year ago even. Was it only last year?
Yeah. And it was great.
It was the like the best night of my life.
It was the best show I've ever seen live, like hands down.
But it was such an ordeal to go and get in and get out and
whatever that I was like, you know, I'm probably good.
Like that's just the best thing I'll ever watch because.
(01:06:18):
This is just so enormous. Is that why it's it's?
So enormous. There's so many people.
Like getting out of there is a nightmare.
We didn't get home till like 1:00 AM and that was.
Where do they host these even? Are they just in like football
stadiums? Yeah, yeah.
It's like big stadium tours. And I mean, she sells out the
thing multiple nights in a row, you know?
So it's tons of people and I just kind of felt anxious, like
(01:06:40):
I used to really like going to concerts and being in crowds and
like that energy. And I think now I feel very
anxious. And so when we were leaving that
show, I was kind of like, it's dark.
There were lots of people. So you would think that makes
you feel safe, but it also feelslike it's kind of a target and
it's night time and you're trying to get out of there.
(01:07:01):
And so I just felt really anxious the whole time we were
leaving, and I wasn't sure I would want to do that again.
But it's Kai's birthday this week and Beyoncé's here for her
birthday week, and so we couldn't say no to that
opportunity. So that's what we're doing.
Yeah. It's going to be amazing.
Look at that horse and I got AT shirt.
I don't think it's going to comein time, but I'm just happy to
(01:07:22):
own this T-shirt now. I got AT shirt that says look at
that horse with Beyoncé on a horse.
So I'm glad. Thanks everyone for listening.
Thanks for indulging me here on this topic here.
Thank you for. Beyoncé, I'm so excited.
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for Beyoncé.
Like I'm her mom. You're so welcome.
I'm so glad I could give her to you.
I know. Yeah.
We're done, I think. I think we're done.
(01:07:44):
That was fun to hear how it is. Yeah.
Yeah, I'll report back. I told you, remember.
To follow us on Instagram at NotFor Everyone pod, because we're
going to be soliciting specific dating themes for your What a
do's for the Summer series coming up.
So if you want your dating what to do covered, you ought to be
keep an eye out for the prompts on our Instagram.
(01:08:07):
Yeah, we can't wait. Can't wait.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you. I'm sinking first.
I'm sinking second, OK.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.