129. Not for Laundry + Work Stress is a Scam, and Emails are Not Emergencies

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠betterhelp.com/notforeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ today to get 10% off your first month.

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Remember the game Rush Hour? Ever feel like that’s just your day-to-day life? This week Jess is picking up exactly what Caroline is putting down, and if you’re anything like the two of them (i.e. anxious, people pleasers, short), you probably will too. Commiserating over their recent stressful work weeks, J and C talk about their stress responses and coping mechanisms when it comes to feeling overwhelmed. Caroline comes in hot with a new mental shift – make it feel like a scavenger hunt – and though Jess is dubious of the suggestion at first, she’s bought in by the end, searching for a man in a green hat to take a photo with on a park bench.

They also share some fresh complaints about things they’ve seen on the internet lately and where they do (and don’t) put their phones. Things get kooky, y’all!

This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I find myself in these certain weeks where I'm like spinning,
spiraling out of control, so overwhelmed, so stressed.
And I catch myself and I'm like,dude, remember, you know, all
you're here for is the paycheck.Relax.
But when everybody around me is like, hey, where's this thing?
Hey, we have to get this thing done.
Hey, la, la, la, la. You can't break from it even if

(00:20):
you individually have. Yo-yo, welcome back.
We're not for everyone. This is a podcast hosted by 1
hater. That's me, one lover.

(00:42):
That's Jess, and I've come here today with a little work stress,
life stress mindset hack to share.
How did you know I needed literally that?
Nothing more, nothing less. That's exactly what I need,
yeah. OK, sweet.
Well, OK, so here's my hack. I think it, it applies for me,

(01:04):
it applies particularly to work stress, but kind of to like a
lot of different daily stresses,daily stresses that aren't like
not an existential stress. You know, it's not going to help
with that. But just like daily, like I'm
having a really stressful day. This day fucking sucks.
You're like, I have so much to get done or like, Oh, I have to
do this, this and that and run around and la, la, la.

(01:25):
This is my new hack that I'm doing.
So I had a day like that the other day where it was
back-to-back running around. It's 109° in DC with humidity
and literally like just like sweating through the streets.
I was trying to find, I can't remember what I was doing, but
I'd like run errands for a work thing on a timeline.

(01:46):
Stores were closing, I was losing light to film, blah blah.
It was just like a million. It was just one of those stupid
days where you're running aroundlike a chicken with their head
cut off and it feels so stressful.
And it also starts feeling important.
And I personally feel like I don't care what your job is
unless you are saving lives. It's not important.

(02:08):
It's not, it's not. It's my hot take.
And I'm like my no, I most, most, I'm gonna say most
people's jobs are not important if it mostly takes place on a
computer. Yeah.
It's not really important and, and also the way that I feel
really with any job I've had long before I was doing social

(02:30):
media, long before that, even when I was in tech or when in
whatever is that. I still get really stressed out
'cause it feels like when you have a lot piled on you and it
feels like it's really important.
And there's deadlines and you'restressed and people are asking
you for things, expecting things, and you're disappointing
someone or you're disappointing yourself or you think you'll get
in trouble, blah blah blah. It feels the stress is

(02:50):
incredibly real. And then inevitably you finish
whatever has to be done. Maybe you finish it on time,
maybe you finish it late, maybe finish it early, I don't know.
But eventually you finish it. And my experience of that stress
is then it is so distant to me and seems so not important at

(03:12):
all at all that like even like afew days out, I forget that I
was stressed about this stupid work thing or this hectic
schedule in my day at all. As opposed to, you know, if your
family members like going through chemo, it's stressful
while it's happening. And once it's in the rear view,
it's still, you can still feel the stress of it, right?

(03:35):
If someone's dying, you can still feel the stress of it.
If you're an EMT and you watch people die on the side of the
road, like once it's in the realview, you can still feel the
emotion and the stress of it. OK, when you're sending out
professional fucking emails, no,it's very hard to stay in touch
with how that matters. All you have to hang on to is

(03:58):
rereading your e-mail over and over again to make yourself feel
important. Like, oh, look at this thing I
pushed out of my ass, but that'sall you have.
It doesn't make me relive the stress of it.
My personal experience it looking back is always like, why
was I so worried about that? Like, of course I would get it
done. Like I get stuff done.
There's no, I can't think of like a job in the world where

(04:20):
it's like, oh, I have this really stressful deadline.
It's a tight down like la, la, la.
And there's a chance that it'll go on forever.
No, like things end, time passes, stuff changes, whatever,
the world goes on and it's just work.
And so even Part 1 is even when I'm really stressed about work
or something now. And sometimes, you know, my

(04:41):
friends are sweet and they're like, oh, I'm sorry, blah, blah,
blah. I don't actually like to indulge
in it too much because like, it's just work stress.
It is just work stress. My family is alive, my friends
are healthy, people are doing well.
Like it's just work stress. It's going to be OK.
It's not pleasant right now, butit's going to be OK.
And then in the moment, I had this day where I was running

(05:02):
around chicken head cut off and I don't know why I had this
funny thought where it like I was getting snappy, I was
getting nasty. I was probably snapping at
Justin because I don't have enough time and I'm impatient
and I'm stressed out and I don'thave time for people or
relationships. And I had this funny moment of
just like disliking the way I was acting and letting this work
stress like change how I was moving through, I don't know,

(05:25):
just my attitude and everything.And I had this moment of like a
realizing it doesn't fucking matter.
Like this work stress is not worth like snapping at people
about or even just like feeling negative privately throughout my
day. And I kind of had this vision of
being on a scavenger hunt When you do like a fun scavenger
hunt, that's, I mean, they're only ever for fun.

(05:48):
And it's like go through the city and like you find this and
you have to get one of these andyou have to what I don't know,
maybe it's like a college freshman year orientation
activity. Maybe it's something with your
sorority. Maybe it's like a team bonding
activity at a new job. I don't know when people do
scavenger hunts, but there is a stress involved of like these

(06:09):
things I have to get done. And it also doesn't fucking
matter. So it's fun and the stress can
be fun. The stress can be a game and
that is I actually don't feel like doing a working a job like
90% of jobs that aren't life saving.
I don't think that those are actually very different from a

(06:30):
scavenger hunt. It's like it doesn't really
matter the stakes that we have, we've made-up stakes for why
this matters, just the way we make up stakes in like a team
building exercise, scavenger hunt.
It doesn't really fucking matter.
And I'm. And it's going to end and it's
going to get done because the scavenger hunt always ends and

(06:50):
there's going to be a new one next week and all the new thing
I can stress about and make up pretend meaning and wait for if
I want to. But I just had this, yeah, idea
in my head of like, also lookingback at this time in my life
fondly one day when, you know, maybe I have kids or the kids
are out of the house or I'm decrepit or I can't walk

(07:12):
anywhere. And I, like, romanticize my
youth in my 30s. And things were crazy that and
we, I was running all around thecity then.
And I didn't know, you know, if I would make these deadlines.
And like, it's a romanticized game.
These are scenes you would put in a movie that would feel fun
to watch in a movie because the stakes really aren't that high.
It's just like the hectic, the hecticness of like New York City

(07:34):
life or like life in your 30s orlike, like.
The ROM com girl who always works at the like media company
as a journalist and like, thingsare chaotic, but she's hot and
it's fun, you know? Yeah, it's The Devil Wears
Prada, it's a ROM com and like the stress is high and there's
reasons we get stressed, but it also doesn't fucking matter.

(07:56):
And it's just like a game and itis my future romanticized
moment. And and I was able to get in
touch with that in the moment and be like, instead of just
having like a super stressful day, I was like, now I'm on a
scavenger hunt to see if I can do all these different tasks.
And the fun thing is none of them really matter.

(08:16):
And even if some of them matter a little bit, they're going to
get done eventually. And then I'll fucking forget
about them. And I'm not going to expend a
lot of negative energy here because that energy is going
nowhere and I'm not even going to remember it in two days.
And so now I just when I have like a horrible day, I'm just
like, this is a scavenger. Yes.
So is that helpful to anyone? Yes, well, OK, I, I generally

(08:40):
agree and I have a lot of thoughts and things to say.
But I will just first say that we were texting or voice
messaging or something. I think on the day or maybe the
next day after what you're describing of like that chaotic
day that you were running aroundthe city and things were really
busy and you said. It's been like 2 months
straight. Well, yeah, it's been a, it's

(09:01):
been a period. It's been a while, so last week
you said something in a voice memo to me about the scavenger
hunt of it all. Like you referenced this
concept, but you hadn't given methis whole spiel yet.
Oh, I didn't explain it. I was just talking to my.
You just referenced it and you were like, you know, because
scavenger hunts are fun and whatever.
And I just walked away from thatvoice memo being like, I hate

(09:22):
scavenger hunts. I don't find them fun.
Like what is she even? Talking about.
I don't actually like them either, but you know why we
don't like them? Because we, because we treat.
Them because we make them mean something the same as our work
day, because we we we cannot notmake it matter.
I think because you and I both are like so reverent to
authority, we want to please people.

(09:44):
We want to please the team, we want to please whoever fucking
organized the scavenger hunt. Somebody gives us rules, you
have to do XYZ in two hours. And we're like, oh, these are
real rules. It's because you and I, we do
the same thing in a scavenger hunt as we do, I think in our
work day and I think a lot of the people we know do and, but

(10:06):
in a scavenger hunt, like I get nervous, I get stressed, but I
also am aware that like it doesn't really matter, but I'm
still stressed. But I'm, I'm giddy a little bit.
I'm a little giddy. You're a little delirious, like.
Yeah, you're, you're like because.
It's kind of random shit that you're doing and it's like
funny. If you're able to step outside
of yourself, then it is funny that you're getting stressed
about these random tasks that you know don't matter.

(10:30):
But it is so easy to lose yourself in the stress of that
if you're like this go getter type of person or people pleaser
type of person or whatever your motivator is for wanting to like
accomplish the thing. I think that is 100% the
audience of this podcast is people who probably get stressed
out stressing scavenger hunt. And it's like you, it's so
funny. You just said like doing this

(10:51):
task that probably doesn't matter.
Like what's a scavenger hunt task?
It's like go to go to like the nearest park and take a photo
with a man in a green hat. That does not that that does not
matter any less than like send an e-mail to set up a Google
Meet at the appropriate time to discuss these la, la, la.

(11:11):
Those things both matter the same 0%.
Both of these are made-up thingsyou said don't fucking matter.
Totally I so in that way, yes, 100% OK, OK, I like this.
I can embrace this Yeah, I can embrace this.
The thing that you started to say that I've been like has been

(11:32):
my mantra in stressful times forever is this idea of like
it's going to get done. Basically like the for me,
something that helps is like thetime is going to pass.
Let's say I have a deadline on Thursday, whether I like it or
not, whether I'm ready for it ornot, whether I kill myself over
it or I chill out or I do something in between, Thursday's

(11:53):
going to come. And so, and I tend to be a
person who does end up getting the thing done.
And even when I haven't gotten the thing done, like it's been
OK. So I feel like that part of it
for sure is something I use all the time when I take myself out
about tasks. It's like the time is going to
pass, that deadline is going to come.

(12:14):
I'm probably going to meet it. Even if I don't, it's whatever.
But like it's, it's coming whether I want it, whether I'm
ready or not, I don't know. And on one hand, maybe that
could stress someone out. But for me, I think it helps me
just realize that, like, I don'thave to control every single
aspect of it. Like, I can't control that that
day is coming. It's coming.

(12:35):
Yeah. So it makes me able to, like,
let go of the things that I'm trying so hard to, like, hold on
to and get done and, like, make perfect.
Yeah. And now I'll think of them like
a scavenger hunt. And I just won't do them because
I hate that. I hate those things.
I would never sign up for a scavenger hunt.
I'm so not that person, no. Something that adults are forced

(12:57):
to do periodically. It though some people, and I
think all those people are active on Reddit.
Some people really like it. I mean, I love my Reddit fam.
I've been on Reddit like every day this week looking up weird
symptoms I'm having. I.
Like Reddit? I like Reddit.
I love no shame to my Reddit people but yeah if you like
scavenger. Come on Reddit.

(13:19):
Yeah, exactly. We're both Reddit people.
I feel like there's all, I don'tknow.
I feel like I've like, heard about like a lot of like
international scavenger hunts formulated by Reddit to decode
something. I'm like get the fuck out of
here, let me just have fun looking at makeup forums on this
one. Well, that's the other thing I
was thinking is like it's gamification.
Like what you're talking about is a little bit of this is

(13:41):
gamification. Yes, yes, it's gamifying the
complete lack of meaning in yourjob, in your day.
Let's make up a scavenger hunt. It's like, how can we gamify
this meaninglessness? Yeah, I mean, it's even what
happens on social media and withswiping and stuff.
It's like the act of swiping andthe culture of like send funny

(14:03):
things to your friends. Like it makes you feel like
you're on a search, like you're it's a scavenger hunt for
dopamine or something. It's it's like a search for like
what's gonna be the funny video,Like, oh, I haven't found it
yet. Keep swiping.
Like even that is a form of gamification.
God. So if we could apply that, if we
could actually make that like work for us and be like, OK,

(14:23):
everything's gamified anyway, I'm living in this weird
simulation. Genuinely.
Genuinely. I might as well make my job feel
a little more like that and release the stakes that I've
attached to it. But it's so hard.
It's so hard. I had I had three, so I put out
three videos a month on YouTube.Now each video takes about

(14:43):
usually on average like 40 to 50hours of work.
And so that works out pretty well over a month.
And there's other random shit podcasts and blah blah blah.
It balances out to like a prettyreasonable work schedule.
But with my, my editors have I'mare are pursuing, they have been
growing and exploring their other interests and producing

(15:05):
films and film festivals and doing fucking amazing things,
which like is exactly what they should be doing.
And yes, it meant that the last like 6 weeks have been horrible
for. Me.
Which is like exactly as that should be.
That's what they should be doing.
But I'm so it, it left me at theend of this month.
I had put out 0 videos as as of a couple a few days ago and I

(15:28):
because I didn't have any of them ready and I ended up
putting all three videos out within like a week.
And, and so, you know, that was like, I don't know, like 150
hours of work that I squeezed into like the last like week and
a half of the month. And of course I was getting
stressed. And of course I was being like,

(15:49):
how am I going to get this done?But in my, in my lifetime on
YouTube, I have never missed a deadline.
Like usually the deadline is within that month.
So the thing that keeps me a deadline is just brands, you
know, Bombas is sponsoring this video.
They're like, the video has to go live in June.
We have a monthly budget, so thevideo has to go live that June.

(16:09):
So near the end of every month, I always get crazy because I'm
approaching that deadline and I have never had to bump it to
another month. And even if I did, I don't think
anyone would shoot me in the head.
I think that the brand and I would probably find out another
deal and I'm it's going to get done.
And then the stupidest part of all is just knowing that like it
restarts next month. So I am, I am just a turn.

(16:33):
I cannot become like a horrible miserable louse of a person to
my boyfriend or fiance or my friends or my family who I've
been tracked with, or even just probably to myself every month
or the end of every month. Midway through the month, it's
kind of like your cycle. You have like a.

(16:54):
It is where you feel normal. And then the rest of it is like
this crazy voyage. Yeah, the.
Same. I think it's the same for most
jobs. I have a friend who like he's in
charge. He had a job where he was like
in charge of the I don't even know how this is a job, but
apparently it was very stressful.
He worked for Amazon somehow andhe was in charge for like making

(17:19):
sure the subtitle like language translations were released for
the Amazon Prime movies all around the world.
And apparently that sounds like something that shouldn't be like
a midnight release, like countdown.
Like that doesn't sound something that needs to be that
time sensitive to me. It kind of seems like whenever
you got it, you got it. But apparently this was, this

(17:41):
was basically like working for NASA and it was.
So I do believe it was a horrible job for whatever
reason. Like I don't understand the
specifics of it, but he was genuinely like working around
the clock, always stressed. And I did feel bad for him
because like I, I know he's not like exaggerating what his hours

(18:06):
are like or exaggerating the pressure that's being put on
him, but I but it also for sure doesn't matter.
You're in charge of putting out subtitles for Amazon movies and
make like and like coordinating their release.
It. I don't even know how is this a
job? And it is a job, and it's

(18:27):
apparently a very stressful one.But that doesn't change the fact
that it really doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah, well, I think I don't knowto do with this level of stress.
I don't know what to do with it.So much of it is like the
pressure you said this, like thepressure put on him or put on
any of us in our jobs, Like wheneverybody is operating in a
schema of this matters, even if you individually have figured

(18:51):
out that it doesn't really matter, it is so hard to break
from that cycle and that like culture because you're existing
in it and everybody else is acting that way.
I think about that all the time with work because I feel like
I've done so much work on myselfto be able to like kind of have
boundaries with work and detach my value from it.

(19:12):
And like, I understand what I'm there for and it's very much to
make a paycheck and get good benefits and like have some
structure to my day and you know, maybe do some good work
here and there. But like, other than that, it's
not everything to me. But even still, I find myself in
these certain weeks where I'm like spinning, spiraling out of

(19:33):
control, like so overwhelmed, sostressed.
And I catch myself and I'm like,dude, remember, you know, this
doesn't matter. You know, it doesn't say
anything about you. You know, all you're here for is
the paycheck. Like, relax.
But when everybody around me is like, hey, where's this thing?
Hey, we have to get this thing done.
Hey, la, la, la, la. Like no, not it feels like you

(19:54):
can't break from it even if you individually have.
And the weird thing about that is that our, I feel like our
culture has shifted in the direction of like, you know,
have boundaries with work and like corporate jobs or corporate
jobs and they're just going to be there.
And it's just sending emails andlike we all kind of have this

(20:15):
understanding. So it is weird to me that like.
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who in my sphere of
people I work with who like has that clarity.
And like, I know you guys think this too.
Like I know we all kind of know that this is fabricate like a
fabricated deadline and arbitrary and like kind of BS

(20:35):
and whatever. So why do we continue to play
the game? It's very, I think about it all
the time because I think if we could crack that code as a
society, then like everybody would be better off for it.
And I don't. But I don't think we're even the
signals that we might have been heading in that direction, I
know haven't actually gotten us to move in that direction.

(21:03):
Support for Not for Everyone comes from Better Help.
Obviously. Jess and I have a lot of
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ones. It's hard to avoid the stress
when your inbox never empties and the To Do List never ends.
And a lot of us will take the time to set our yearly work
goals or quarterly daily work goals.
But it's so much more important to take the time to do the same

(21:24):
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(21:45):
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(22:07):
betterhelp.com/not for Everyone all spelled out, that's
Betterhelp help.com/not for Everyone.
Well, to me, I think it feels much more like a personal.

(22:27):
It does feel like something thatis maybe in my more in my
personal control, like I don't have to make everybody else
change because to me, let me back up.
I think what I am saying is not that like we should push these
deadlines back more or that the subtitles shouldn't have to be

(22:48):
released on that day or that I shouldn't have to commit to a
deadline for my videos for brands or that I won't do the
same amount of work. To me, it's more about like the
energy with which I'm getting that work done 'cause I'm, I'm
not saying we should even be less productive or less

(23:10):
proficient or efficient like that.
That is a culture some places, but whatever.
I fucking like working. I don't care.
And I'm, I like getting stuff done.
I like making things. Whatever a lot of people get,
you know, whatever kind of gratification from feeling
proficient at their job. Yeah, I'm not even saying like,

(23:30):
oh, I don't care about this deadline because this work
doesn't matter. I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to get it all done. I'm going to do it at the same
rate. But there is a personal shift I
felt like was the thing I discovered of like the severity
and the like gravitas with whichI am getting the work done.

(23:51):
That was a personal shift in me.And if other people don't have
that shift in them, it doesn't really like sucks for them, but
like, it doesn't have to affect me.
You know what I mean? Because you're right, other it's
like, sometimes it feels like the work matters because you're
telling yourself it really matters and the deadline is
really important and scary. Sometimes it feels like it
matters because other, you know,team mates are telling you it's

(24:13):
important and scary and but wherever that voice of like this
is really important and scary and you should be really
stressed for the next week that you work on it.
You can get a lot of stuff done and be very regimented and put a
lot of hours in if that's what the work requires and that's
what you want to do without, youknow, for without acting like it

(24:37):
is life or death, You know what I mean?
I guess it feels, it feels life or death like, you know, if
your, if your job is actually inperil or you get a really bad,
what's it called, like performance review or something
that does get a little more existential.
Of course, that's stressful. But when it's just like I have

(24:57):
to get this stuff done in time and I always do and I will, and
then it'll be done. I don't want to spend this
negative energy anymore. Total, it is a choice of energy
and I yeah, I totally agree. That is what you can control.
And I feel like I generally do apretty good job of that.
But I still surprise myself on those weeks where I'm like, oh

(25:19):
really, really you're a little this pissed about this.
Like, yeah, like it's almost like there's two halves of me
and one of them is looking at the other being like, dude, like
what are you why are you expending your energy on this?
But like that half that's expending my energy and really,
really frustrated about it is really in it and is really
frustrated about it. So it can be hard to talk myself

(25:42):
off that ledge even though I know, like, even though the
other half of me is very clear that like, yeah, you're gonna
have to work a little more and it's gonna get done.
And you don't need to. Like, I totally understand what
you mean. Like the vigor with which you.
Yeah, like approach it and like the the anger that I come down
the stairs with to talk to Ryan about what just happened on the

(26:03):
call I was on. And I'm like, you won't fucking
believe what just happened. And he has to like.
Something that doesn't. Matter to get Ryan to believe
yeah. And I'm like madder it all
started because of this like AI tool that we're implementing
like it's what what are you saying girl?
Why are you so mad? But when you spend so much of
your time in it, you know. It's a trap.

(26:25):
Yeah, because if they want you, if they want you to do that.
But also like, if you 100%, if all you can think about is how
your work doesn't matter, it's going to be pretty miserable to
do it. It's like it's a balance.
You have to, I feel like I have to be very intentionally aware
of like no, making YouTube videos doesn't matter, but I am

(26:48):
choosing to do it because it gives me structure.
I enjoy the creative parts. No, I don't enjoy the stressful
parts, but I enjoy the creative parts.
I like feeling productive. I like sharing something with
people. I like connecting with people.
It's more meaningful than a lot of other shit I could be doing.
It's a it's less meaningful thansome other things I could be

(27:09):
doing. But like I choose it for a
reason. So it matters in some way.
I think, yeah, if it if when I've been, I mean when I was
like coding websites to like that websites for like companies
to just sell a product, I was like, oh, this really convinced
yourself this really doesn't matter.
It's interesting because I've also.
And that was just me. Other people thought it did, you

(27:29):
know? Yeah, it was personal, personal
about this, like work that matters thing, because when I
started in my career, I chose a career in healthcare, public
health, because there is an element of it that does matter.
Like at the end of the day, I'm not a doctor, I'm not saving
lives. But sure.
Yes, I'm behind a computer, but the long, long, long term output

(27:51):
of the work is ideally helping people live healthier lives and
get healthcare that they need and all of that.
So I could like tell myself a story about the impact of my
work and that it does matter in the long run, knowing also that
I'm spending my days stressing over emails.
And so like balancing those two things in my mind.

(28:13):
Recently at work, I've been super stressed out.
And I feel like I've talked about this a little bit, but
just when you get, when you've been at a place for some number
of years and you're like a generally a good employee, a go
getter, like a person that gets shit done whether you want it or
not, you become important to a, to a level.

(28:33):
I'm not saying I'm like the CEO level of important, but like you
kind of have your area of expertise and people know to go
to you for stuff and like you get entrenched.
And so that's where I am and I've been thinking about it a
lot because I'm like, do I stilldo I want this?
Like part of me likes it and feels I don't know if fulfills.
The word you become too important.

(28:55):
You become too. Yeah, like part of me likes to
be important, you know, I like feeling important.
And then part of me is like, butthis, that's why I feel.
That's why I get so mad about stuff and I get so riled up and
I get so like vigorous about thework 'cause like it, I'm
starting to let it say somethingabout me.
And I was thinking like, OK, what if I I'm not doing this,

(29:18):
I'm not planning on doing this anytime soon, but just doing the
thought exercise of like, what if I got another job?
Because at another job I would be new for a year.
So like really, I don't have to,I'm not important yet.
I don't have to like, you know, be the star right from the get
go. Then there's probably a year,
year 2, I feel like I would maybe start to like it because

(29:38):
I'm finally understanding like what we even do here.
And then year 3 is really when you become important.
Yeah, I'm important again. It's been my experience in every
job. Year one, you're kind of
chilling. Year 2, you're like, oh, this is
actually cool. I'm glad I like got this job.
And then year three, you're like, fuck, I'm in too deep.
So I I was doing the exercise oflike, OK, if I started a new job

(30:01):
and gave myself that like runwayagain, what what type of job
would I get? And I was thinking about leaving
healthcare and what that would look like and how it's like so
different from my schema, from how my schema has been around
work. Because the whole reason I
entered this industry was like to do something that matters,

(30:22):
quote UN quote. But now I feel like with the
podcast, I get to do something that matters.
Like, I feel like this matters as much as a podcast.
You know, I'm, I'm grounded thatit's a fucking podcast.
Yeah. And I'm also like, I think it
matters. I think I help people.
I think I connect. Like there's something here that
fulfills me and feels like it matters.

(30:44):
So it almost makes it like in mycorporate job, maybe I can just
go work for something that's so random and small and has no
impact on people, but I've neverdone that before.
You can just do tech finance now.
Exactly. Just go the complete.
Opposite. Like that was starting to sound
really appealing to me because then I was like, maybe then I

(31:06):
can really, I'll finally believethat my corporate job doesn't
matter and I don't need to stress about it.
If I remove every aspect of it mattering, 'cause right now
there's still the like, healthcare.
I can make the argument, you know.
Yeah, it is a fun thought experiment.
I mean, there's also the human part.
You're a people pleaser. And, you know, I, I don't think

(31:27):
any respectable person wants to let down the people who are
relying on them at their job, whether the fucking project
matters or not. You don't want to let people
down. So I, I personally can't really.
I mean, that's what kept me going in the jobs I hated when I
felt like literally what I was doing in tech didn't matter at
all And I'm but I wasn't I wasn't going to slack off and

(31:52):
like let down people who relied on me or people who hired me or
whatever. It OK, well, So what I wanted to
ask you was how are you with taking breaks through the work
day? Because I feel like for me, I'm
not great at it, but the, it sounds so simple, but I think
when I start like getting the most wrapped up in the stress

(32:14):
and the pressure and Oh my God, am I going to get this done, is
when I just like haven't steppedaway from the computer in a
while. And then if I go and just fold
some talking screen for 10 minutes, yeah, or touch a single
blade of grass, then I can come back and I'll be like, oh, yeah,
this is really annoying that I'mediting at 1:00 AM, but it's

(32:37):
going to get done. And then, like, this day is
going to end and all of different day.
All right, let's do it. It's annoying.
I'm uncomfortable right now. It's not pleasant, but like yes,
it's not existential. I try to do that.
I think I'm bad at it. The thing that's interesting is
like both of us work from home. So in a way, like a break is
really accessible at all times. And I'm not sitting at my
computer locked into work from 9:00 to 5:00 just because I work

(33:00):
a nine to five job, because I work remotely and there's that
flexibility. So like, I'm like, the nature of
my job allows for a lot of breaks and I feel like I do take
breaks all the time, but not when I'm stressed out.
Like on the days that I'm like, oh God, there's so much to do
and everyone's pissing me off and like, La La, I have to do

(33:21):
all these tasks. Relatable.
I lock into my computer, it becomes an addiction.
I feel like I'm addicted to likethe anger I'm feeling or the
rate is like the rage or the frustration or like just getting
to get finishing the thing so I don't have to think about it
anymore. Like whatever the the problem is
that's frustrating me, I become addicted to it and I like stay

(33:44):
locked in. So yeah, it's funny because on a
normal day I'd be taking breaks,but on those types of.
True. I'm like locked in and they
those are the times that I should be taking a break.
You're absolutely right. Here are my thoughts on that.
So I feel pretty similarly and Iused to think maybe it was like
a perfectionist thing or even kind of like an OCD thing of

(34:09):
like once I get in a task it is really hard for me to stop until
it's done. Or like an ADHD hyper fixation
thing like who knows. There's a million different ways
you could frame this or pinpointA cause for it, but I think
really what it is is like, yes and no to all of those, which is

(34:33):
like, it's just anxiety. I think it's anxiety.
It's this fear that like usuallyfor me, in those moments when
it's like a stressful moment in work and I cannot pull away to
take a break, at the root of it is a fear that I will never be
able to finish this thing. And so I certainly can't step
away. Because if if I even step away

(34:55):
first of all, then it's definitely not getting done in
that moment. And the whole time I'm away, I
am not even present and relaxingor breathing because I am
worrying about the fact that I'll never finish this.
But it's not fucking true. I will finish it, always do.
And if me putting a certain amount of energy and focus and

(35:19):
manpower towards this project doesn't finish the project, then
it wasn't a doable project. Like if the project's doable, I
get it done. If I have to ask for an
extension, sometimes you do and then you ask for it and you get
it done. If the project is deemed like
something we need to bail on, it's not appropriate.

(35:39):
Doesn't fit in the budget, doesn't fit in the month, it
doesn't, whatever, then we bail.It's like, but it just doesn't
go on forever. And still I get wrapped up in
the anxiety, this idea that I will never be done working on
this one task that's stressing me out right now.
And I'm in this the stepping away thing.
I think really it's like just first remembering.

(36:02):
There is going to be a day when I'm no longer working on this
task. There is going to be a day when
I actually forget this was ever a stressful point in my life.
It is going to finish. It is going to come to an end.
So it's OK for me to pause rightnow and take 5 minutes to
restore my sanity? Yeah, I really relate to the
like if I step away, I'm just going to be thinking about it.

(36:24):
Yeah, that even happened to me this weekend.
Like I've been going non-stop work wise, podcast wise.
Like I'm bringing back my other podcast, which all of these
things are like things I chose. You know, like I had friends
over staying with me and I went on a vacation which we were just
doing adventures and I was tiredthe whole time.
Like all of these things are things I chose, some of them are

(36:47):
even supposed to be fun, positive things.
But it left me feeling after a few weeks, like totally burnt
out and I still have more thingsto do.
Like yesterday I was burnt out. My friends who were staying with
me had left. There was an opportunity to have
a nothing day on. You know, I love my ugly nights
on Sundays and like, I haven't had one in a while.

(37:09):
And so I knew that that was whatI needed to do.
But I also could not stop thinking about, OK, but on
Monday I have to do this thing and on Tuesday I have to do this
thing. I just spent my whole Sunday of
relaxation. I forced myself to take it to
relax as opposed to I could havedone some of the work.
And I said, no, don't do the work today.
You need to relax. But then the whole time I spent

(37:30):
just thinking about what was coming.
And it's really hard for me to turn that off.
And I need to figure out how to turn it off because the To Do
List never ends. And as soon as you finish one
task, another 3 pop up. So like, I'm very well aware
that this is not a sustainable thing, but it is so, so hard for

(37:50):
me to separate, to like truly unplug from everything that
needs to get done, even if I know it's going to get done and
I'm still thinking about it. I think I really relate to that.
Also, God, even just talking about like the To Do List that
you know, you get one done threemore pop up.
Like just that nature of life, like kind of drives me crazy,

(38:14):
but I don't I don't even know how to get into that.
I guess that's just life, but I do, I do hate it and I don't
even have kids yet and I'm like,what the fuck?
What the fuck? But I'm yeah, I think it does
get better taking breaks. It's kind of like I'm yeah, like
exposure therapy of like doing it a few times.
And usually for me, it's like, Ithink I won't be able to think

(38:37):
about anything else. And then I forced myself to take
the break. And then, you know, if it's a 5
minute break, I'm still thinkingabout work the whole time, but
it is still good for my body andmy, my mindset.
And then if it's like a take an hour break because you're going
to go to dinner with a friend inthe evening and then you can
come back after dinner and do more work.
That's almost harder for me because I'm like, I definitely

(38:58):
won't be able to unplug, but usually in like 30 minutes I can
release things. And then I feel like the more
you I practice that, the more trust I have in doing it.
And like, the exposure therapy builds up a little, but the
alternative just feels so horrible, you know?

(39:18):
I know if they're both going to be hard, you might as well do
the thing that's like better foryour body.
Like that's kind of where I start is like do that thing, go
outside, go for a walk, whatever.
And then like the mental will follow.
But yeah, that is that is tough.And I'm such a hyper fixator,

(39:40):
hyper focuser or something. Like you were talking about that
too, whether I guess anxiety is where you landed.
And I think you're right. Like I the way that I've always
worked and I've talked about this too, the way I've always
done work, no matter what it is,podcast, corporate job, just
like tasks around the house, whatever is like spurts like.

(40:02):
For an hour or two, I am hyper focused.
I'm cranking like all 8 things out and I'm getting them done
from beginning to end so that I never, so that they're all done
and I can check them all off AndI like don't have to think about
them anymore. Like I'm very, I just started
going to this new workout class that really satisfies that part
of me because it's like 6 blocksof 6 minutes each.

(40:25):
And once you finish a block, younever have to do those exercises
again. And I love it like.
Yeah, I just like knowing. I don't want to repeat this.
I don't want to I. Hate what they're like, yeah,
They're like, it's a circuit we're going to do and you finish
the circuit once and then they're like now we just got
three more times, no. No, no.
I would rather do twice as long of a workout and everything is

(40:48):
new every. Time everything is new and give
me something different every sixminutes, yeah.
No. Exactly.
And that's how I am with work. It's like I want, I start a
task, I complete a task, never think about it again.
Start a task, I complete a task,never think about it again.
And the problem is, of course you have to think about it
again, 'cause you work with other people and they'll come in
and comment. And then I have like paralysis

(41:08):
because I have their comments that I have to respond to.
And I'm like, but I never wantedto think about that thing again.
And it's just, it's, it's so hard.
It's so hard. But yeah, I'm a hyper fixator.
And so I don't think that bodes well for this like trying to
separate and take breaks and allof that.

(41:29):
But I know I need to more than anyone probably.
Acting from a place of anxiety, acting directly from that
anxiety, whether in work or in life.
I'm, you know, it, it may theoretically address the thing
that's causing anxiety, but it'sreally bad for long term
sustainability almost always with pretty much everything.

(41:52):
I had a yeah, like a night this month where I was editing this
video and it was, I'm always like, oh, I only have a couple
more hours to edit. And then it's, you know, it's
fucking whatever o'clock in the morning.
And it was like 1:00 AM and I was really fucking hating
editing. I don't even want to look at
this video anymore. I'm tempted to release it

(42:13):
without even finishing the edit because I'm so angry and this is
so not worth it. And I could just sit down and
like, crunch out. I was like, I probably have
another hour and a half. OK, I could sit down, like,
crunch it out right now. Knock it up and just get more
and more 10s in my body, more and more angry at the world.
Hate this thing more and more. Or I could just accept I'm not
going to sleep very much tonightand I'm going to extend that

(42:36):
hour and a half of work into three more hours of work.
And instead I got up at 2:00 AM,left the desk, went and folded
some laundry, put up some wallpaper on the walls, like
something I enjoyed. Then I go at it again, do 30
minutes until I can't handle it.And then I went downstairs and I
like did some vacuuming. What are the things I wish I had

(42:56):
time to do during the day? I wish I had time to clean.
I wish I had time to vacuum. I wish I had time to put this
away. And I just started doing these
things. I was like, OK, I'm not sleeping
tonight. I do have a deadline.
I'm going to be able to sleep tomorrow.
And I'm going to make this. I'm actually going to take more
time to do this so that the feeling in my body is not
corrosive and I won't die a young death.

(43:17):
And that felt great. I just had to like, mentally
accept it. It was fucking fine.
Yeah, I like that. Like, OK, if I'm gonna, it kind
of goes back to the scavenger hunt.
It's like. This night already sucks anyway.
Let me make it a little more funor like, OK, I'll just maximize
it. Let me just get even more done
with it. Or yeah, I really like that
actually. It it was great.

(43:38):
I mean, obviously I don't suggest doing that all the time
several times a week, but it waslike, you know, maybe I have
like two or three nights, maybe two or three nights a month like
that where it's like, OK, I put myself in this situation
obviously because I didn't plan ahead enough with my schedule.
Now I'm here, I might only get, you think I might only get 4
hours of sleep. Fuck it, make it 2:00.

(43:59):
I'm going to do some chores. Like it's OK.
And I wasn't, I wasn't. I didn't hate the process as
much actually. Yeah, I really didn't.
Yeah. And I really related when you
said like you sit down to edit and you're like, oh, just take
me a couple hours and like 5 hours later, like I'm really bad
at gauging how long things are going to take me, I think.

(44:19):
And I. Also think.
Part of it is because of perfectionism.
Like I like, I could probably dosomething like some task in two
hours, but to do it to the levelthat I'm going to be happy with
and and in the way I like to do it, which is like sitting down
and cranking it out all at once.It's going to take me 6, you

(44:40):
know, like it can get somebody can do it in two or like I could
do it in two, but not be like asproud of the output.
And that's something that I'm really hard.
I'm really bad at giving up. Is like the output being lesser,
you know? Yeah, I don't know if you have
to. If it's something you take pride
in, it's like you can like, I feel like the difference is

(45:00):
like, for me, yeah, with my videos, it's like, well, why am
I working on this 2:00 AM? Because it's actually something
I take really seriously and I'm proud of.
And I'm not going to put out a bullshit video.
Like people comment on and appreciate the amount of work I
put into my videos. And I appreciate it.
So I'm choosing this. No one's holding a gun to my
head. And so like, I'm doing this for
a reason. It's like you said, it's it

(45:22):
wouldn't be something you were happy with.
And then in order to achieve this end goal of something
you're happy with, in the meantime, you're making yourself
fucking miserable and nasty. And so instead it's like, OK,
I'm staying up till 3:00 AM because this is what I'm going
to be happy with. So let's make it happy and let's
spread it out. Let's take it easy because this
is actually what I choose. I'm choosing this like, what are

(45:42):
little, what are cute little things you could do for your
breaks? I do like, sometimes I do like a
510 minute break. Sometimes it's like a 30 minute
break. What are some cute little thing?
I, I personally like to get likechores done because that feels
good in my body. I'm moving around, I'm not at a
screen. It feels productive.
It gets like A to do list thing off my list.
I have a whole yeah list of likelittle around the house things

(46:06):
that I've been putting off. Yeah.
And I'm sure that I could do a couple of them.
Little random things with. Breaks.
Yeah. Like I have a shelf I want to
put up. I know exactly where I want it
to go and everything. It's just a matter of like,
getting up there and doing it. The bed behind me need sheets.
Got to put sheets on that bed. Like there's random shit I could

(46:26):
do, Sheets. On bed yeah I'm I'm a little
nervous about you putting up theshelf because that can be a
frustrating process so don't make it that's true don't make
it a hard something that's like a hard test.
I feel like it should be something that it's like I could
do this with my eyes closed, gets me gets my body moving.
I'll. Find a way.
Laundry. Where there's a will, there's
way. It's always laundry.
I fucking hate laundry. It's all the time.

(46:48):
Is that even an interesting thing to say?
I just, I hate it so much more than cleaning or scrubbing or
anything. Anything.
I know. And then you let it sit like
there. I had this period where I was
doing really well with my laundry and I was taking it
right out of the dryer and folding it right away, which is
great. Because mania doesn't.
Get all wrinkly. Yeah, but I can't do that all

(47:10):
the time. So right now I have a wrinkly
basket waiting for me and I'm like, annoyed that I let it get
there. But what can you do?
Laundry is happening all the time.
So here's my question. I feel like, can you rerun it in
the dryer and get the wrinkles out again?
Yeah. I do that sometimes.
But then I forget that it's there again.
It's already out of the dryer. I could obviously I could put it

(47:32):
back in, but like maybe that is a slight barrier if I had.
Sometimes it just sits in the dryer for a while and I haven't
even gone to take it out and putit in a basket.
So then it's very easy to just be like, OK, why not?
It's still in the dryer. Run it again.
For another 20, get those, get those wrinkles out.
Is this interesting? This is what my day-to-day life
mostly consists of. Is this?

(47:53):
Interesting. I think this is what everyone's
day is, is me not wanting to take clothes out of the dryer.
Because when they're in the dryer, it kind of feels like
they're washed. They're cleaned, they're dried
and it kind of feels like they're put away 'cause they're
in that little. It's like it's in the cabinet
and it's like, well, if I take them out now there's a mess of
stuff I have to fold. But if I just keep them in the

(48:13):
dryer. But you know what's bad is when.
So that feels good for a little while, but then when you need to
run, you need to do more laundry.
Yeah. And you start the wash.
Yeah. And then it's done in the wash.
And then you open the dryer and you're like, fuck, there's
clothes in here. Yeah.
That that whole chaos. That's the worst thing that can
ever happen to the worst. That's the hardest thing that's

(48:36):
ever happened to me. It's just staring you in the
face, like you. I'm here because of you, you
fucker. You know, it makes you feel like
that. I'm cursing a lot today.
I'm just really. Yeah, you're crazy.
You're a crazy whore. You're a crazy bitch.
So you just described the feeling that I think most often
is my like, feeling of stress orfrustration, which is did you

(48:57):
ever play that game called Rush Hour?
Was it called Rush hour with thelittle cars?
So is it called rush hour or is that the Jackie Chan movie?
Yes, rush hour traffic jam logic.
Game. I don't think I've played this.
It's a fucking great. It was just like a game that my
parents would make me sit in theback of the car with for like a

(49:19):
long car ride. And it's I'll describe it.
I'll describe it not visually because this is audio, but I'm
to give you the visual. It's a like kind of a little
board game, maybe like 5 inches by 5 inches.
And there's kind of a grid tracksystem on them.
And the game is covered in little plastic cars like a

(49:39):
traffic jam. And you, there's different
arrangements you get like you take a, you get, you have, the
game tells you like an arrangement that you have to
start them in of all the cars, like they're all interlocked and
it's like a crazy traffic jam. And then you have to get like
the red car. The red car has to be like able
to exit the traffic jam. But in order to do that, you

(50:00):
have to, you can only move each car like they can only each move
one space at a time. And you have to like move 18
things to like unmove 3 things like remove 4 things.
And then eventually are you sharing it sharing.
My. Screen yes, I fucking love this
game. I was obsessed with playing this

(50:20):
game and I'm it's not it. There's like different levels
like it gives you different setups, like infinite setups of
like it's so fun. It's a solo game, which are all
my favorite things are solo things and I'm it's a fun game.
It's rush hour and this is the feeling I always try to explain
when it's that feeling of like, OK, I, I want to do laundry, but

(50:43):
if I want to do my laundry, I have to first take laundry out
of the dryer and I have to fold it.
But I want to fold that first. I have to build that dresser
that I just got delivered for mykey.
And I haven't built that thing. But I haven't built it because
there's a bed in the way and my cousin's coming to stay and I
can't move that bed until my cousin comes.
So if I want to do that, I have to wash the windows first.
But I can't do that until I've called my mom.
It's like you, in order to get one fucking thing done, there is

(51:04):
like a trail of 12 other things you have to do first.
Talk about paralysis. Anyway, I I always feel like my
life is just a moment of rush hour traffic jam logic game.
I now that I like stared at it for a while while you described
it, I feel like maybe I have played it or I've played similar
games and I totally. Understand.

(51:28):
It's like the gridlock of like. Yes.
Or like Tetris, I feel like it just you have to move things out
of the way in order to get to the root thing that you're
trying to get to, which is. Very, but sometimes you also
have to move more things in the way.
Yes, that's the hard part in theway to move them out.
Yeah, what? I gotta take that long?

(51:49):
I gotta take it back to the laundry in the dryer.
It's making me, it's making me feel really seen, like I
actually am looking at this gameright now and feeling emotional.
I feel. So confusing.
This has That's what life is. That's what life is right now, I
think. Dumb.
It's like there's a lot of things that Interlock moved

(52:11):
around. I feel like every day is just,
yeah, moving around different things like, oh, now this needs
to be over here now. It needs to be over here now.
I don't know. Or like the To Do List that you
check something off and three more things pop up.
It's just, it's just a nightmare.
It kind of is. I mean, that part is kind of
depressing to me. It's really depressing to me.

(52:34):
And then I feel like I want to complain about it pretty much
all the time, but I can't complain about it because, one,
I know that everybody else dealswith it too.
And two, most of the things going on are things that I've
chosen for myself. And I just feel like I'm not
allowed to complain. But all I want to do is

(52:56):
complain. So then I like lock Ryan in a
room and I'm like, I'm going to complain about this rush hour
junior game of my life for a little while.
You have to listen 'cause I don't know who else to tell.
But now we're. Saying I feel like that's the
value of like that is basically the value of having a life
partner or a best friend or whoever that is, is being like

(53:17):
all, all I'm doing is living a life that's a very average life
with very average relatable problems that everybody has.
And it's really not appropriate to make anyone listen to these
complaints except so do it. Yeah, and you have to listen to
me complain about the things that everyone else is
complaining about to someone. Hopefully I.
Hope. Yeah, I.

(53:38):
Don't get to complain them I choose.
You I don't get to complain them.
I don't get to complain them. Let me see if I have a last
little ditty. Yeah, give me a little diddle
bop. Oh yeah, this is a complaint.
OK, this is something I think I can complain about publicly and
I don't need Ryan to hear it specifically, although I'll tell
him about it too. OK, I, I feel like I've been

(54:03):
getting a lot of fashion contentonline, like Instagram reels,
feeding me styling videos, whichI love.
I love watching them. I love getting new ideas.
I'm always about like shopping my own closet and figuring out
new ways to combine things. So like, I'm down, but a lot of
times recently I've been noticing styling videos where

(54:23):
like they're like, here's an outfit, here's styling tips and
an outfit for like brunch with your girls and they'll just put
on a dress. And I think that doesn't count.
You didn't style, you bought a dress and then you put it on
your body like. Yeah, give me.
Separates give me something original.

(54:45):
It makes me irrationally angry that I.
Yeah. That I'm like looking for some
tip and they're like, here's this black day dress that I am
putting on and now you're ready for brunch.
I'm like, I already know that that's the only thing I wear.
Give me. That's the only thing I would do
with that dress is put it on my.Body, they're like, you know,
choose a shoe. Yeah, I know you need a bag to

(55:10):
put your stuff in. Stop going to brunch barefoot.
Oh. Does this annoy anyone else?
I just feel like it's not, I feel.
Annoyed. I feel annoyed.
Thank you, it's not what I'm looking for from those videos.
I want to see combos. I want to see unexpected color,
color blocking, and patterns. I want to see.

(55:32):
I want to. Basically, I want to see things
I wouldn't wear because I would wear.
I do wear the dress. And the black dress.
Yeah. Yeah, I agree.
OK. Cosigned.
Cosigned. Thank you.
OK. Do I?
Do I have anything to complain about?
Yeah, give us the complaint. Something petty.
I'm just mad at tall people who walk slower than me.

(55:56):
What is your excuse? What is your fucking excuse?
I really hate that I'm actively mad.
What is? What is the reason I?
Don't know, Justin and I talk about it all the time because
holy shit, his body hardly moveswhen we're walking and and he
observes he's like all the shortest girls I know are like

(56:18):
speed walkers. And I swear to God, all short
girls are faster walkers than any man, any man of any height.
And I don't know, I just assume it's like if I walked at a
leisurely pace to do all the things I have to do in the day,
I would never get there because my legs are like a third of the

(56:38):
size of yours, right? That's a third of the length.
So it's like you just get used to speed walking or you'd be
late all the time. Yeah.
I mean, I think that that's probably very true because I.
Maybe. I do think all of my short
friends other than Kai, who's like, definitively a slow Walker
and like, proud of it, but everybody else, including
myself, is a speed Walker. And I think it's probably, yeah.

(57:01):
It's like we had to keep up somehow.
But then also, I guess my own counterpoint to what I just said
is that like we're actually going faster than everybody.
So clearly it is possible to function moving like a slug.
So are we finding out that we, and therefore probably a large
portion of our audience is anxious, fast walking, short

(57:25):
women who like the game rush hour?
Actually, yes, I think they are.I think that's 95 of percent of
who's listening. Yeah, the and the people
pleasers at work, pretty much everything we've talked about in
this episode, we're just painting the picture of the
demographic here because it's us.
Yeah, we know there's some tall people in here, we know there's

(57:49):
some men and we know there's some people who are well
adjusted and aren't anxious about everything.
Are there well adjusted people here?
Yeah, there's probably a few. Yeah, I don't think they listen
as religiously because they don't need this.
They don't need it like I need. People, yeah, well adjusted
people get bored sometimes and they're like, all right, I'll
put on some. Fucking no.

(58:10):
You know what they do? They.
Feel. My ears, what do they do?
They like. Well adjusted people do.
I feel like well adjusted peoplecan just like lay and do nothing
or like listen to mute. This is something Ryan does.
I've that like. Fascinating.
I know you're going to say this is the craziest thing I've.
Ever heard he turns on music in like our room and lays on the
bed and just hangs out and listens to the music.

(58:32):
He's not looking at a phone. He's not reading.
Right. And he's not on into music and
he's not. That's the only, that's the only
time I think I'd do that is if I'm on a drug.
Sober it is. I imagine that that's what well
adjusted people do. Yeah, I think so.
It sounds cool, but I won't. Sometimes I do make my.

(58:52):
I think my version of that really just like rugging out
just be in a rug. Rugging out.
Is sometimes I go to the bathroom and I don't bring my
phone and I make myself look at the floor do.
That too. And I'm like, this is gonna be a
challenge. It's.
Fun. It's fun.
And then sometimes I, like, remember what it was like to be
12. Yeah.
And just like try to find shapesin the tiles of the floor on the

(59:13):
wall. No, it's I'm wow.
I would. I would rather do that though
than sit still and listen to music.
I agree. But it is a choice, don't we?
I feel like it's a choice every time I do that where I'm like,
you know what? I'm not going to bring my phone
in the bathroom this time. It would be crazy.
Because if I stared at the floorwhile I took a shit.
Yeah, and I'm like, look at you,girl.

(59:34):
You're so present. The only present moment that you
chose in your day is with. Yourself.
On. The toilet so there should be
more Instagram reels about like be present in this moment and
then just just like don't bring your.
Phone to the bathroom, Yeah. Bring your phone to the
bathroom. Sometimes I stick my phone.
Never mind. I don't want to.
I don't want to share that. Oh my God, where do you stick

(59:54):
it? Made a sound of words.
They're now just. Yeah, you gotta finish it now.
You gotta finish. It I have one of these like octo
buddy grip things on the back ofmy phone where you can just
stick it places like on a windowto take a selfie.
Very cool. It's a little suction, little
suction. Little suction thing.
It's really helpful like honestly great, great thing to
get. But sometimes I stick it on.

(01:00:15):
We have a shower that's not a tub that has like glass from
floor to ceiling and the octo buddy will stick right on there
and I can like listen to voice memos from my friends or.
Oh yeah, I listen to podcasts inthe shower, yeah.
OK, it takes a self amazing. I I think I was thinking of it
from the perspective of like, wow, you really can't separate

(01:00:37):
from your phone for a 5 minute shower.
But like I can't. OK, there's a lot on there.
There's a lot that I need to keep up with.
No, I think it was good. I think it was better that you
said that than said, do you knowwhere I stick my phone?
Actually, never mind. I shouldn't say that.
Actually never mind. Did you ever use your mouth as a
speaker? No, like putting the bottom of
it in. There, yeah, if you put like the

(01:00:59):
bottom, like if you don't have aspeaker but you have to play
music loudly, you just put it. You just, if you can open your
mouth wide enough, it's kind of like how you put it in a cup, in
a cup and the cup is it. You can just use your mouth.
How long? Like I could see myself doing
that if I really needed somebodyto hear like 5 seconds of a song
right now and we were in a loud place.
But yeah, would you just do thatfor a whole party?

(01:01:22):
Yeah, it's your DJ ING. Like for someone who forgot to
bring us, that's what. DJ is Oh, that's what.
DJ, that's what they're doing upthere.
Speaking of which, Speaking of the stupid fucking Internet and
stuff that is annoying on there.I saw it yet another video like
just this week I got fed some random DJing content from like
South Korea and I would just allit just brought me back to the

(01:01:44):
original question that's never been answered, which is what are
they doing up there that they couldn't do at home in a
production studio and then just release Yeah as.
As a track. As a track, why do you have to
be here live? What are they doing?
I don't know, I think they're really hype people, you know,

(01:02:05):
like, and sometimes they really hype me up.
Like I have to give it credit. There's these two guys on
Instagram who do a lot of like mashups and when they're on
Instagram playing the track or the mashup that they created,
like they're really just playingit, but they're dancing behind
the DJ booth and they they like do these faces and I'm like, OK,

(01:02:25):
I'm in like I get it. So I think it's, I think it's a
lot of it is like a salesmanship.
Yeah, that's actually probably salesman they that is actually
probably the most accurate description, yeah.
So we figured it out, 129 episodes, I don't know when we
talked about that was probably like episode 9, so 120 episodes
later. What is DJ?

(01:02:47):
Yeah. I hope they're not too stressed
about their jobs. But if you're stressed about
your job, remember it's just a scavenger hunt.
You're going to get these thingsdone, whip it through and be
feel a little bit like giddiness.
Get rid of a little bit of that existential dread.
I feel a lot better just after this, so thank you all.
Right. Love you.

(01:03:09):
Same time. This whole episode is my pep
talk for editing this episode because Abby's on vacation and
I'm I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make the best of it.
I'm gonna make it so fun. I hope everyone when they listen

(01:03:30):
knows that I I'm turned it into a really fun night.
Yeah, I can tell. I can tell that you made it fun.
I can feel already. You feel it already in the pre
edit. Thank you.
Thank you.