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May 10, 2025 10 mins

Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right in your business, yet somehow it's still not enough? That feeling of running uphill, alone, in silence—even as you check all the entrepreneurial boxes everyone says lead to success?

This raw, unfiltered conversation pulls back the curtain on what entrepreneurship really feels like behind the highlight reels. We've all been sold a fairy tale that hard work, consistency, and passion automatically unlock the dream life. But the truth? Success often comes wrapped in silence, sacrifice, and suffering that nobody posts about.

The anxiety attacks at 2 AM. The customers who ghost you. The friends who stop calling. The self-doubt that eats you alive even when your strategy is perfect. These aren't signs you're failing—they're proof you're in the trenches of real entrepreneurship. I share the story of "Kim," a candle business owner who hit $100K in her second year but almost quit because success looked good but felt "heavy as hell." That's the part we don't discuss: the birthdays missed for restocks, the relationships strained while chasing breakthroughs, the isolation of being surrounded by shipping boxes while others live their lives.

But here's the revelation that changes everything: money was never the real dream. Meaning is. You're not just building a business—you're creating a legacy, making your mark on the world. When we redefine success by how it feels rather than how it looks, everything shifts. If your business costs your health, relationships, or identity, it's not a business—it's a burden. The ultimate flex isn't going viral or getting verified; it's finding peace within your purpose.

Ready to redefine success on your terms? Text me through my website notjustcandletalk.me to share your thoughts or apply to take over an upcoming podcast episode with your entrepreneurial story. Because success should feel like freedom—and if it doesn't, it's time to burn the lie and build again.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You ever feel like you're doing everything right
and somehow it's still notenough.
You started the business, youleft the job, you made the post,
you built the brand, you ranall the ads, you launched the
site and yet it still feels likeyou're running uphill, alone,

(00:21):
in silence.
Today's episode is not for theInstagram entrepreneurs.
It's for the real ones, theones building in the dark,
crying in silence, pushingthrough hell with a dream on
their back.
Because we need to talk aboutit.
They lie to us about success,about freedom and what this life

(00:45):
really takes.
This is not just candle talk,and today we're setting the
record on fire.
Let's be real.
We grew up believing a fairytale that if you just worked
hard, stayed consistent,followed your passion and posted
every day, success would comethe dream life, the passive

(01:10):
income and the laptop on thebeach.
But here's what they didn'ttell us that success, real
success comes wrapped in silence, sacrifice and suffering.
They didn't tell us about theanxiety attacks at 2 am.
They didn't tell us about thecustomers who ghost us, the

(01:31):
friends who stop calling, theself-doubt that eats you alive
even when you're doingeverything right.
What they showed us was thehighlight reel, the end result,
the glossy photo, the sold outdrop, but behind the curtain,

(01:51):
most entrepreneurs are out herebleeding in silence.
So if you feel like you'relosing your mind right now
trying to make it, you're notbroken.
You're just in the part theynever post about.
Let me tell you a quick story.
There's a woman I know let'scall her Kim.
She launched her candle lineabout four years ago.

(02:14):
She did everything right, gother Shopify store up, built a
beautiful Instagram, even hit100,000 in her second year.
You want to know what she toldme.
She almost quit.
She was burnt out, exhausted,crying in her car before pop-ups
, feeling like a fraud becausesuccess looked good but it felt

(02:39):
heavy as hell.
That's the part we don't talkabout the cost of winning.
It's the birthdays we miss.
Chasing a restock.
It's the part we don't talkabout the cost of winning.
It's the birthdays we miss,chasing a restock.
It's the relationship that diesbecause your partner's tired of
waiting for the breakthrough.
It's watching your peers taketrips and relax while you're in
your living room, surrounded byshipping boxes, wondering if

(03:02):
it's all worth it.
And the worst part, you can'teven complain because everyone
thinks you're living the dream.
But listen to me, the dream hasa dark side.
And that doesn't make you weak,it just makes you real.
So what do we do with all ofthis?
It just makes you real.

(03:23):
So what do we do with all ofthis?
If success is harder than wethought, if freedom isn't always
fun, why even keep going?
Well, I'll tell you why.
Because money isn't the realdream.
Meaning is and I'll repeat that, because money isn't the real
dream, meaning is you're notbuilding the candle business or

(03:52):
a T-shirt line or even a podcast.
You're building a legacy, avoice, a mark on the world that
says I was here and I matter.
And that means redefiningsuccess, not by what it looks
like, but what it feels like.
Real success feels peacefulalignment, purposeful, the joy

(04:20):
of waking up, knowing thatyou're living on your own terms.
And here's the hard truth Ifyour business costs you your
health, your relationship oryour identity, it's not a
business, it's a burden.
So let me just say this it'snot a business, it's a burden.

(04:57):
So let me just say this You'reallowed to slow down, you're
allowed to take your impact.
The people whose lives arechanged because you dare to show
up, that's eternal.
So don't let the pressure tolook successful rob you of the
real win, the kind of successthat feels good in your soul.

(05:22):
Okay, you don't have to goviral, you don't even need a
blue check.
What you need is peace.
That's the flex, that's the win.
That's also the future, becausewhen everything else fades,
your story, your purpose, yourfire can't be taken.

(05:43):
Okay, because I talked aboutpurpose on my last episode, and
I think this one aligns withpurpose.
Purpose, being at peace, havingalignment in your life and
doing something with meaning Allof that is intertwined with

(06:07):
your why.
I'm going to go back to that.
I just want to piggyback off ofthe last episode because I
think it's important forentrepreneurs to hear this, this
tone, hear this, this type ofdialogue, because everything is
not about success, success,money, money.
It's really about coming fromyour soul, digging deep within

(06:32):
you and understanding that, um,your focus is not always the
next sale.
It has to be more to it thanthat.
And so I'm going to keep doingpodcasts like this because, like
I said, I think it's veryimportant because when you dig

(06:54):
deep down into your soul, youhave a shift.
You have a shift in your energythings.
You have a shift.
You have a shift in your energy, and that shows when you are
doing something that you trulyare called to do.
So if this episode hits yoursoul, don't keep it to yourself.
Tell someone about it, tellsomebody to take a listen to

(07:19):
this episode, because we'regoing to keep pushing through
just like this, because timesare hard and things like this
need to be said the realrealities of it.
So, again, if you like thisepisode and want to share it

(07:40):
with somebody, let them knowabout Not Just Candle Talk
podcast.
It's wwwnotjustcandletalkme.
Also, before I leave, I wantedto mention that I want to start
doing real soon.
I want to start doing atakeover episode.

(08:02):
Takeover and have hosts come onand take over the podcast for
an episode and share their story, share their journey, talk
about their brand and justenlighten us with their story.

(08:23):
So if anyone is interested, onthe website, I have a text me
message.
You can send me a text, writeyour bio in the text message and
your handles and let me knowwhat your brand is and your

(08:47):
social handles and we coulddiscuss you taking over the
podcast for an episode.
So I just wanted to touch onthat before I leave.
And again, thank you forlistening and we're going to
keep on uh, going to keep on umdoing these type of podcasts,

(09:08):
okay, and if you're ready toredefine success on your terms,
uh, feel free to leave a.
Uh.
Also leave a message for me onthe text as well, because
success should not, becausesuccess should feel like freedom
.
And if it doesn't, we burn thelie, okay, and build again.

(09:31):
Thank you again for listening.
Until next time, keep buildingbold.
Thank you, bye.
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