SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Dissociation – When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma Response

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Dissociation: When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma Response

Ever found yourself zoning out mid-conversation or realizing you don’t remember the last five minutes of your drive? You’re not alone. This might be dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism that helps protect the brain from stress and trauma.

In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:
✅ What dissociation is and why it happens.
✅ The neuroscience behind dissociation—how the brain responds to trauma.
✅ Signs you may be experiencing dissociation (hint: it’s more common than you think).
✅ Practical strategies to stay present and regain control.
✅ Evidence-based therapies like EMDR, DBT, and Somatic Experiencing that can help.

Dissociation isn’t just “spacing out”—it’s your brain’s way of coping. But the good news? You’re not stuck here. Learn how to recognize and manage dissociation so you can reclaim your sense of self and presence.

🎧 Listen now & take the first step toward healing!

👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns

👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla

👉 Ask me a question [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever been in the middle of a conversation and
suddenly you realize you have noclue what the other person just
said?
Or you drive home and you can'tremember how you got home.
You don't even remember thedrive.
That's dissociation, and whileit might seem like just zoning
out, for some it's actually atrauma response.
Let's break it down.

(00:21):
Hey, I'm Kayla Riley, licensedtherapist, entrepreneur and mama
just trying to keep my shittogether like the rest of you.
Welcome to Shrink Shots.
Quick hit bonus episodes packedwith bite-sized insights on
relationships, parenting andmore.
No fluff, just real talk.
Let's do this.

(00:41):
Real talk, let's do this.
Dissociation is aneurobiological response
triggered when the brainperceives a threat, and it
activates the freeze response inthe autonomic nervous system.
It's a disconnect from reality,from emotions or even your body

(01:02):
.
Mild dissociation is supercommon, like spacing out in a
meeting, but in more intensecases it can feel like you're
totally outside of yourself andwatching yourself, or
experiencing huge memory gaps.
Research suggests that theamygdala, which is responsible
for fear processing, becomesoveractive, while the prefrontal

(01:25):
cortex, which helps regulateyour emotions and rational
thinking, underperforms, makingit harder to stay present For
individuals who've experiencedprolonged trauma, such as
growing up in a dysfunctionalenvironment or in a
dysfunctional family memoryencoding is affected.
The brain family memoryencoding is affected.

(01:48):
The brain prioritizes encodingthreat-related memories over
neutral or positive ones,leading to difficulty recalling
everyday events while vividlyremembering traumatic incidences
.
This isn't negativity.
You're not a negative person ifthis is happening to you.
It's just your brain's way ofensuring survival by reinforcing
awareness of perceived danger.
It doesn't have time for yourtrips to Disney or your really

(02:10):
happy, you know, day-to-dayfamily dinners if, on the
weekends, one of your parents isgetting drunk and hurting, your
other parent and your wholebody goes into this
fight-or-flight mode.
Dissociation is an evolutionarydefense mechanism.

(02:31):
It's a survival strategy forwhen fight or flight isn't an
option.
So when you can't fight backand you can't get away, the
nervous system's detecting adanger, whether it's real or
just perceived, and it deemsescape impossible.
So the parasympathetic nervoussystem initiates this freeze
response.
So it numbs your emotion,detaches awareness from the

(02:53):
present moment.
Chronic dissociation,frequently observed in
individuals with PTSD or complexPTSD and other anxiety
disorders, where repeatedexposure to stress reinforces
this response.
So then this response becomesmore of an automatic way of
being or an automatic responseto a stressor.

(03:20):
So some signs you might beexperiencing this dissociation
is feeling disconnected fromyour surroundings, like the
world is foggy or dreamlike, asense of detachment from your
body or emotions.
You blank out or lose timeduring stressful situations or
arguments or conflict, chaos,things like that.

(03:40):
You feel like you're watchingyourself from the outside.
A lot of people experience thiswhen they get in car accidents
or something else.
That's really, really traumatic.
Another one is difficultyremembering what just happened.
So you are not broken.
Your brain is just doing whatit thinks it needs to do to

(04:00):
protect you.
If dissociation is affectingyou, try grounding techniques
like engaging your sensesholding ice, touching a textured
object or naming five thingsyou see around you.
That can really ground you inthe moment.
Mindfulness and movement isreally powerful as well for this
experience.
Activities like yoga or deepbreathing, stretching can really

(04:24):
integrate bodily awareness, soit can get you from your head
and from you know being far awayinto your body and into the
sensations that are happening.
Therapy is a big one here.
If you're really experiencingdissociation and you're
struggling, a trauma-informedtherapist can help you
understand why your brain ischecking out and give you

(04:47):
strategies to stay present.
So one of the most effectiveapproaches is EMDR eye movement,
desensitization andreprocessing.
It's my personal favorite as aclient and as a person who owns
a counseling center.
We train, we support therapiststo be trained in and use this
model because it's really,really effective in the research

(05:10):
.
Emdr facilitates the processingof your traumatic memories
while you're using bilateralstimulation, such as guided eye
movements or tapping, and ithelps the brain reprocess this
distressing experience andreduce.
Other evidence-based treatmentmodalities that can help with

(05:33):
trauma are things likedialectical behavioral therapy,
otherwise known as DBT.
This teaches emotionalregulation, distress, tolerance
and mindfulness, which helpsreduce dissociation and increase
your presence.
Ifs is internal family systems.
It explores the different partsof the psyche that may be

(05:54):
carrying trauma, facilitatingintegration and self-leadership
Pretty cool.
The other one is somaticexperiencing, which can focus on
body-based awareness to releasetrauma stored in the nervous
system and reestablishphysiological safety.
These are just a couple.
I know there are more, butremember that not all therapists

(06:16):
are created equal.
So some things you could do ifyou're seeking a therapist is
make sure that they have goodtraining and fidelity to one of
these evidence-based treatmentmodels.
So you don't want someone whosays, yeah, I'm trauma-based and
it's like, okay, whatmodalities do you use?
And they have a hard timesaying, or they say like I've
had a little training here andthere.

(06:37):
No, I want you to be likegung-ho EMDR or gung-ho IFS.
Remember the creme de la cremespends time, energy and money on
modalities that actually work.
The goal of any of these typesof therapies is helping

(06:59):
individuals who are strugglingwith the dissociation regain a
sense of presence, safety andcontrol over their lives.
Dissociation is your brain's wayof coping, but you are not
stuck there.
Recognizing it is the firststep to managing it.
If this resonates, you're notalone and therapy can help.
Keep taking care of yourself.

(07:20):
I'll catch you in the nextshrink shot.
Boom.
Now you've got something tothink about.
If this hits home, share itwith a friend or tag me on
Instagram at not yourtherapistapistkayla.
Shrink Shots drop every Tuesdayand Thursday, with 10 episodes
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(07:42):
wisdom.
See you next time.