Shrink Shots: Therapy Terms 101 – Emotional Regulation – How to Stop Flipping Out (Even When They Deserve It)

Send us a text

Ever feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally deserves it.

💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ What emotional regulation is (and what it isn’t)
✔️ Why your brain struggles to stay calm under stress
✔️ Simple, science-backed ways to regulate emotions in real time
✔️ How therapy can help you break toxic emotional patterns

If you’ve ever lost your cool, sent a regrettable text, or let your emotions run the show—this one’s for you. 🎧 Hit play now and start managing your emotions like a pro!

#EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealthPodcast #ShrinkShots #Therapy101 #SelfGrowth

👉 Ask me a question or suggest a topic [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's another episode of Not your Therapist, it's a
shrink shot y'all.
They're short, they're sharpand they're packed with the kind
of therapy wisdom that you canactually use in your real life.
Today I want to talk aboutemotional regulation, aka how to
stop flipping out yes, evenwhen they deserve it, Because

(00:21):
life is full of people andsituations that make us want to
lose our shit.
But you send that text, youslam that door, you let your
rage dictate your life choicesand you're going to be exhausted
, your relationships are goingto suffer.
It's just not a fun way to live.
So let's talk about how tomanage your emotions without
suppressing them or exploding.

(00:42):
Hey, I'm Kayla Riley, licensedtherapist, entrepreneur and mama
, just trying to keep my shittogether like the rest of you.
Welcome to Shrink Shots quickhit bonus episodes packed with
bite-sized insights onrelationships, parenting and
more.
No fluff, just real talk.
Let's do this.

(01:02):
Fluff, just real talk.
Let's do this.
Emotional regulation just refersto your brain's ability to
handle stress, frustration oroverwhelm without losing control
.
It's the difference betweenfeeling irritated but responding
calmly versus blowing up over aminor inconvenience.

(01:25):
It's about acknowledging yourfeelings and working through
them versus pushing them downuntil they explode later.
Setting a boundary versuspassive, aggressively punishing
someone.
It doesn't mean not havingemotions.
It means being in charge ofyour emotions so that you're the
one driving, instead of youremotions driving the bus.

(01:47):
You know, most of us were nottaught how to do this
effectively.
If you grew up in a home whereemotions were either dismissed
or explosive or just plainignored, chances are you didn't
get a great model for regulation, and the good news is you can
learn it now.
And if you have children, it issuch a gift to model this for

(02:10):
them and to teach them so thatwe move forward without the
transgenerational crap.
Okay, here's some signs thatyou're struggling with emotional
regulation.
If you go from zero to rage inthree seconds, think road rage
Road rage is a good example.

(02:32):
Another one is numb withoutfeeling.
So if you binge watch shows,you scroll a lot, you eat
mindlessly and you avoid feelingwithout dealing what's coming
up for you mindlessly and youavoid feeling without dealing
what's coming up for you, that'sanother sign.
Or you say things in the heatof the moment that you regret

(02:54):
later.
So think exploding or beingnasty to your husband when
you're short-tempered, versusjust keeping your mouth shut.
That's me.
I'm raising my hand becausethat one's me, that's me.
The other one is emotionsfeeling completely out of your
control, like emotions happen toyou rather than being something
you are in control of.
That's another big sign.
So how do you get better atregulating your emotions?

(03:20):
Number one pause before youreact.
Your brain loves to reactquickly.
It's designed to help ussurvive, especially when you're
stressed or you're triggered.
But the trick is creating atiny little space between the
feeling and your response, soyou can do deep breathing, like
breathing in for four seconds,holding that breath for four

(03:42):
seconds and exhaling for sixseconds.
So we do these controlledbreathing exercises to actually
activate your parasympatheticnervous system.
It's basically telling yourbiological system everything's
okay, there's no saber toothtiger coming to attack me, it's
really just that I'm pissed offright.
Another one is count to 10.

(04:04):
Seriously, I know it soundsannoying, but try it.
Repeating a simple phrase, too,can be a powerful one, Like I do
not have to react right now, orI'm trying to respond rather
than react.
Or practice the pause.
I like simple ones.
Practice the pause is a goodone for me.
Anyways, that extra littlesecond can mean the difference

(04:24):
between a conversation and afull-blown snap attack or
meltdown.
Number two name it to tame it.
Emotions thrive on vagueness,and a lot of us know when we're
pissed and a lot of us know whenwe're happy and that's about it
.
If you can name what's actuallyhappening, you can start to
regulate it.

(04:44):
Words have a lot of power.
So instead of just labelingyour emotions as like mad, try
things like I feel frustratedbecause I don't feel heard, or
I'm feeling anxious because Idon't know what's coming next.
When you label the emotion, itshifts from being an overwhelmed
experience to something thatyou can handle.

(05:05):
A little trick for people thathave a hard time naming their
emotions either put a feelingschart on your refrigerator
really good if you have kids,because they can get in on it
too or this is a good one.
We're always looking at ourphone, so type in emotion wheel
on Google and snap a picture ofit and set that as the

(05:26):
background to your phone andevery time you check your phone,
try to label how you're feelingin that moment.
I always give that as ahomework assignment to my
clients for the first week oftheir treatment with me, and
it's really powerful how theycome back and they start to say
they already feel more incontrol.
Number three move your body.
To move the emotion.

(05:47):
Feelings actually really do getstuck in your body.
So we are a system, a machine,just like anything else, and
everything in us impacts and hasa ripple effects on other
things.
So our emotions have rippleeffects on our body.
That's why when you're pissedor stressed, you probably have
tense shoulders or a tense neck.

(06:08):
If you're really sad, you mightnot be hungry, right?
So everything affectseverything else.
So moving your feelings canhelp Shake out your arms.
Do a quick walk, doing a quickstretch, or splash cold water on
your face.
Actually, that's a really goodone, because this actually
triggers your vagus nerve tocalm down.

(06:28):
Your nervous system is reallygoing to.
Thank you for this.
Number four regulate when you'renot triggered.
The best emotional regulationhappens before you need it.
So get enough sleep, eatregularly.
Yeah, some of your meltdownsare just you being a hangry
bitch.
Also, do things that help youde-stress.

(06:49):
So whether it's like deepbreathing or journaling or
screaming into a pillow,whatever works, make sure your
stress level is at like a fiveor below.
If it's five or above, you'regoing to be snappy and have a
hard time emotionally regulating.
So next time you feel yourselfabout to flip out, shut down or
say something bitchy?

(07:09):
Try one of these techniques.
Emotional regulation isn't aboutnever feeling.
It's about feeling withoutlosing control.
That's it for this episode.
If it hit home for you, send itto somebody who needs to hear
it.
Until next time, breathe, pauseand remember you're in charge
of your emotions, not the otherway around.
Boom, Now you've got somethingto think about.

(07:33):
If this hits home, share itwith a friend, or tag me on
Instagram at not your therapistdot.
Kayla shrink shots drop everyTuesday and Thursday, with 10
episodes in each series.
So hit, follow and don't missyour next dose of no BS Therapy
wisdom.
See you next time.