Note 13: Stop Overthinking It — The Secret to Trusting Yourself Again

Overthinking is one of the biggest confidence killers, and most women don’t struggle because they don’t know what to do.

They struggle because they stopped trusting themselves to choose.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down:

• why overthinking becomes your default

• how fear, past failures, and perfectionism mess with your clarity

• the 3-step formula for making decisions without spiraling

• how to stop handing your power to other people

• how to rebuild trust the same way you heal after a heartbreak

You’re not confused.

You’re not “bad at decisions.”

You’ve just forgotten how to hear yourself over the noise.

By the end of this note, you’ll feel grounded, clear, and ready to choose your next step with confidence.

If you’re ready to rebuild that self-trust on a deeper level, apply for 1:1 in Journey to Confidence.

Episode Transcript

(00:17):
Hey, girl.
Hey.
Welcome back to Notes to Her,the daily pep talk.
I'm Yaya, your confidence andmindset coach, here to help you stop
second guessing yourself andstart trusting the woman in the mirror
again.
In the last note, we talkedabout the tiny habits that hold you
back, the little things thatyou do on autopilot that quietly
drain your confidence.
But what happens after that?
What happens if the habitschange but the doubt is still loud?

(00:41):
Well, today's note is for theindecisive woman who asks everyone
else what she should do.
For the girl who overthinksher own intuition.
For the woman who keeps peopleat distance.
Because letting someone infeels risky.
And.
And honestly, trusting herselffeels risky, too.
If that's you, take a breath.
This one's for you.

(01:09):
Have you ever found yourselfdouble checking every choice?
Like you can't make a movewithout someone else's approval?
You're not alone.
Because a lot of women stoptrusting themselves after failure.
Maybe you started the wrongbusiness, stayed too long in the
wrong job, ignored red flagsin a relationship, or gave someone
a second, third, and maybeeven a fourth chance that they did

(01:32):
not deserve.
And ever since that moment,your confidence felt cracked.
So every new choice feelsheavier, like proof that maybe you're
not good at choosing after all.
But confidence and decisionmaking doesn't come from getting
everything right.
It comes from being willing totrust yourself again, even if you're
scared to.

(01:52):
When you made that decisionthat hurt, especially the one that
costs you time, money, or your peace.
Your brain links deciding with danger.
So it starts whispering thingslike, don't mess it up this time.
Ask someone else first.
Or wait until you're 100% sure.
And just like that, you'vehanded your power away to fear, to

(02:16):
perfectionism, to the illusionthat someone else knows better than
you.
But here's what I want you to remember.
You've made good decisions before.
You've survived hard ones.
And even the wrong ones taughtyou something that the safe path
never could.
You didn't lose your abilityto choose.

(02:36):
You just stopped givingyourself credit for surviving your
choices.
Let me walk you through thisformula that I use with my clients.
The confident decision formula.
Step 1.
Get clear on what you value,not just what you want.
So most overthinking comesfrom chasing other people's values,

(02:56):
not your own.
Before you make a decision,ask what matters to me most right
now?
Is it peace?
Growth?
Security?
Freedom?
Stability?
Creativity?
When your values are loud,people pleasing gets quiet.
Because clarity makes iteasier for you to choose.

(03:19):
You instead of choosingComfort for everyone else.
Step two, choose once andcommit for 24 hours.
You don't need the whole plan.
You just need one decision tocommit to for one day.
No spiraling, no backtracking,no texting three friends just to
make sure.

(03:40):
Say the thing.
I'm launching this.
I'm applying.
I'm resting.
I'm done chasing this.
And hold that decision for 24 hours.
Your intuition gets strongerwhen you actually listen to it.
And step three, Give everyoutcome meaning, not judgment.

(04:04):
If it works out well, great.
Celebrate it.
If it doesn't, don't call it afailure, call it feedback.
Confidence is not.
I always choose right.
Because you're human.
Mistakes will be made.
Failures will happen.
Confidence is.
Even when I don't chooseright, I know I'll recover.

(04:25):
That's the muscle.
That's the resilience.
That's the real confidence.
The ability to bounce back orkeep going.
Now, I had a client whooverthought everything.
She would ask five people foradvice and still ignore her gut.
Before we worked together, shebelieved confidence meant certainty.
Like she had to be 100% surebefore she moved, which really kept

(04:50):
her stuck.
But after we started workingtogether, she realized the peace
that she was looking fordidn't come from being right.
She learned that peace camefrom knowing that she could handle
whatever happened next.
It's how we treat heartbreak, too.
You know, when your heartbreaks, you swear that you are never
going to love again.
You cry, isolate, shut down,crash out.

(05:14):
But over time, you open back up.
Trust rebuilds in layers.
And the same way that yousurvived heartbreak, you survived
bad decisions too.
So next time you're in acrossroads, ask yourself, what would
the most confident version ofme choose?
And what if I trusted her this time?

(05:37):
You already have everythingyou need to make strong, aligned
decisions.
You don't need more advice.
You need more trust.
So next time you catchyourself overthinking, come back
to this formula.
Value, choose, Commit.
Learn.
And if you want helprebuilding that trust, the kind that

(05:57):
doesn't crumble after asetback, I encourage you to apply
for my one to one coachingprogram, Journey to Confidence.
It's where I help women likeyou stop second guessing and start
leading their lives withclarity again.
You've been right about youall along.
It's time to believe it again.

(06:17):
So next time, we're going tobe fully stepping into power.
With note 14, step into her.
The future you who's already winning.
You've done the work.
Now it's time to live it.

(06:38):
Sam.