Note 8: Hold That Pause — The Trick to Staying Calm and Owning the Moment

You know that moment when your heart’s racing, your palms are sweating, and your voice starts to shake, right before you have to speak up, pitch yourself, or walk into that big room?

Yeah, that moment.

In today’s pep talk, Yaya breaks down the power of the pause, the secret move that helps you calm your nerves, take control of your energy, and own every room you walk into.

You’ll learn how to train your body to stay grounded when your brain wants to spiral, plus the simple mindset shift that helps you respond with confidence instead of panic.

Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say… is nothing at all.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✨ Why staying silent for two seconds can completely shift your presence

✨ How to train your nervous system to respond, not react

✨ A 3-step “pause practice” to reset your energy under pressure

✨ What to say (and what not to say) when your confidence slips

Listen when:

• You’re about to walk into a presentation, interview, or tough conversation
• You feel your heart racing and can’t think straight
• You need a quick reminder that calm is confidence

Episode Transcript

(00:15):
Hey, girl.
Hey.
And welcome back to notes withher, the daily pep talk.
I'm Yaya, your confidence andmindset coach.
And today's note.
Ooh.
It is one that every womanneeds to hear from.
Because no matter how solidyou are, there's always that one
person.
The hater, the know it all,the one who catches you off guard,
who can shake your confidenceif you let them.

(00:36):
And in those moments, yourmind wants to react, defend, or panic
before you've even processedwhat's happening.
And that's when you use what Ilike to call the power pause.

(00:57):
Now, have you ever hadsomebody say something to you sideways,
and it takes you out for therest of the day?
Maybe it's a coworker whotalks down to you, or maybe it's
that one person who alwaysfinds a way to make you second guess
yourself.
Suddenly, you're replayingwhat you should have said three hours
later in the shower.
Yep, I know that all too well.

(01:18):
And you probably do, too.
The wobble that you feel inthose moments isn't weakness.
It's your nervous systemtrying to keep you safe.
And no matter how confidentyou are, people will still test you.
You just need to learn how tostop handing them the power to shake
you.
The trick is learning how toslow down that response just enough

(01:40):
to let your confidence catch up.
That's what the power pause is.
It gives you a breath of spacebetween what happens and how you
respond.
And that's where your power lives.
Now let's talk about why this happens.
When somebody says somethingthat stings, your brain goes into
overdrive.
You start thinking, did Isound stupid?

(02:00):
Should I have said more?
Was I too much?
Not enough.
Your nervous system lights uplike a fire alarm.
Your heart races, your mindscrambles, and before you know it,
you're doubting yourself.
That's not because you're weak.
It's because your brain iswired to protect you.
It doesn't know the differencebetween real danger and emotional
discomfort.

(02:21):
So it floods you withadrenaline and tells you to fix it
fast.
Explain, apologize, defend.
But, girl, here's the thing.
Not every moment deserves your reaction.
Sometimes the most confidentthing you can do is pause, breathe,
and let silence.
Remind them that power doesn'tshake that easily.

(02:41):
The power pause helps calmyour body before your mind takes
the wheel.
It's a confidence tool thatsays, I can handle this before you
even open your mouth.
All right, so here's how it works.
Next time somebody tests yourcalm, you are going to use the power
pause.
First thing you do, breathebefore you speak, when you feel that

(03:02):
wave of heat or anxiety rise,take one slow, deliberate breath.
Inhale through your neuralsfor four counts, and then exhale
through your mouth for four.
That one breath signals toyour body, I'm safe.
I do not have to match their energy.
Because when you breathe, youtake back control of the room, even

(03:26):
if you say nothing yet.
Then you're going to relaxyour body, drop your shoulders, unclench
your jaw, relax your hands.
Tension tells your brainyou're in danger.
Relaxation tells it you're in control.
You don't have to lookcompletely calm.
You just need to tell yourbody to feel calm enough to let your

(03:48):
voice come from a groundedenergy instead of panic.
And then you're going tochoose your tone, not just your words.
Confidence isn't only aboutwhat you say.
It's how you say it.
When you speak up after apause, your tone naturally lowers,
your pace slows, and yourwords carry more authority.

(04:08):
You can say, hmm, or that'sinteresting, or simply pause long
enough for them to sit in silence.
I personally love the pause.
The pause is powerful.
It shows emotional control,and that's exactly what confidence
is.
It also allows them to thinkabout what they just said.

(04:28):
So instead of snapping,apologizing, or freezing, you said,
speak with intention afterthat pause.
And you give yourselfpermission to lead the moment instead
of being led by it.
Now, I'll never forget thefirst time that I used this intentionally.
I was on a call with thecorporate client, and she said something
that could have easilytriggered me.
She was frustrated, and hertone came out sharp.

(04:50):
Now, the old me would havejumped in, ready to defend myself.
I wanted to, like, snap backor just fill the silence with something
to smooth things over.
But instead, I took a quiet breath.
I felt my shoulders drop, andI said calmly, I hear how frustrated
you feel.
Let's slow down and let's lookat what's really happening here.

(05:13):
That one pause changed theentire tone of the conversation.
She softened.
I stayed centered and incontrol, and we actually solved the
problem instead of spinning an emotion.
That's the power.
Pause in action.
It's not about being perfect.
It's about staying groundedwhen the world tries to throw you
off balance.

(05:34):
Okay, so let's take a momentto be reflective here.
Think about a time or a momentthis week when you felt thrown off
or reactive.
Maybe it was a text, an email,or a comment that caught you off
guard.
Did you react fast, or did yougive it a second to breathe first?
What would have changed if youhad given yourself three extra seconds

(05:57):
before responding.
If you had taken one breath,softened your shoulders, and led
with calm instead of defense.
That's your challenge this week.
Practice those three secondsof power because that pause is where
your confidence resets itself.
Remember, you can't controlwhat people say, but you can control

(06:18):
how you show up.
And sometimes the mostconfident response is no response,
just grace, stillness and onedeep breath.
Give them a look if you need to.
My face says it all without mymouth ever even opening.
Now, if this episode gave youa little boost, share it with your
bestie, especially the one whotends to over explain everything.

(06:41):
And tag me on Instagramcoachingwithya and let me know how
you're using the power pausethis week.
If you're ready to take thingsdeeper and to learn how to trust
yourself, speak with authorityand stop letting other people's energy
rattle you, apply for my oneto one coaching program, Journey
to Confidence.
You can find the link in theshow notes or DM me the word journey

(07:03):
because girl, your confidenceisn't fragile, it is just waiting
for you to protect it better.
Now, next time we're going tobe talking about how to own the room.
Literally.
The rituals, the energy andthe mindset that you need to walk
into any space like youalready belong there.
So you're not going to want tomiss note number nine.

(07:23):
The room is yours.
I will see you there.