March 26, 2025 • 47 mins
In our enlightening discussion with Arlene Cohen Miller, we delve into the intricate dynamics of balancing a high-powered career with the demands of raising a family. Arlene, the esteemed CEO of Jewel Consultancy and a certified Work-Life Balance and Harmony Coach, brings forth invaluable insights on achieving equilibrium between personal and professional realms.
We explore what it truly means to cultivate harmony in our lives and the transformative power of compassion. Through her extensive experience as an attorney and meditation facilitator, Arlene offers profound perspectives on navigating the complexities of modern life. Join us as we uncover strategies to manifest a brighter future while fostering a nurturing environment for ourselves and our loved ones.
Show Notes
Navigating the complexities of a high-powered career while simultaneously fulfilling the responsibilities of parenthood is an endeavor fraught with challenges and demands. In our engaging conversation with Arlene Cohen Miller, a distinguished Work-Life Balance and Harmony Coach, we unpack the essential elements that contribute to achieving a fulfilling and balanced life. Arlene draws upon her extensive experience as a CEO and a certified coach to share invaluable insights into the intricacies of managing professional ambitions alongside familial obligations. She elucidates the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence as foundational pillars in the pursuit of harmony between one’s personal and professional realms.
Arlene’s reflections delve into her own transformative journey, particularly the pivotal moments that shaped her understanding of balance and the necessity of compassionate leadership. By sharing her experiences, she illustrates how the interplay between personal struggles and professional aspirations can lead to profound growth and self-discovery. The conversation also emphasizes the significance of seeking guidance, whether through coaching or mentorship, as a means of facilitating personal development and enhancing one’s capacity for resilience in the face of life’s challenges.
Ultimately, this episode serves as a poignant reminder that the quest for work-life balance is an ongoing journey that requires continuous effort and self-compassion. Arlene’s wisdom inspires us to embrace our unique paths, encouraging us to cultivate a life characterized by both professional success and personal fulfillment. The insights shared within this dialogue provide listeners with the tools and motivation necessary to embark on their own journeys toward achieving a harmonious existence, reinforcing the belief that balance is attainable through conscious effort and self-reflection.
Takeaways:
- Balancing a high-powered career with family requires adaptability and ongoing self-reflection to foster harmony.
- Arlene Cohen Miller emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding in both personal and professional realms.
- The journey towards work-life harmony often involves recognizing and addressing intergenerational trauma and its effects.
- Utilizing holistic approaches, such as soul readings, can provide profound insights into personal growth and transformation.
- Effective coaching hinges on empowering individuals to discover their own answers through guided questioning and support.
- Cultivating kindness, patience, and tolerance is essential for nurturing a fulfilling and harmonious life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hey, one more thing before you go.
How do you juggle a highpowered career while raising a family?
What does it truly mean tofind balance and harmony with your
personal, professional life?
Today we're diving into thesequestions and more with our extraordinary
guest, Arlene Cohen Miller.
Arlene is the CEO of JewelConsulting, a work life balance and
(00:22):
harmony coach, and aprofessional certified coach with
the International Coaching Federation.
I'm your host, Michael Hurst.
Welcome to one more thingbefore you go.
(00:45):
With an impressive backgroundas the AV rated attorney and a certified
meditation facilitator with adiploma in transformational holistic
counseling from Australia,Arlene brings a wealth of knowledge
and expertise and experienceto our discussion.
Whether you're striving forwork life balance, looking to lead
with more compassion andhumanity, which we all need, or seeking
(01:08):
to manifest a brighter future,this episode is for you.
Welcome to the show.
Arlene.
Hello.
Lovely to be here.
Michael, you know, it's youhaving a wonderful, a wonderful journey
that you've been on.
You contributed to society inso many positive ways, a very compassionate
and a very humane way ofapproaching your coaching and making
(01:32):
it a lot easier for people tounderstand that we're all human beings
and we're all in this togetherand we can always work through our
problems together.
So thank you.
My pleasure.
You know, I, I know that.
Are you from Colorado or doyou just reside.
No, most people here aren'tfrom Colorado.
(01:53):
I grew up in Louisville,Kentucky, and I went to undergrad
at Emory in Atlanta.
My first year was at OhioWesleyan in a small town in Ohio.
Then I transferred and I wentto law school at University of Kentucky
College of Law in Lexington, Kentucky.
And I've also.
So I practiced law.
I never practiced law in Kentucky.
I moved from law school up toa suburb of Cleveland.
(02:15):
Cleveland.
Got my license in Kentucky andOhio, then later in Colorado and
so I practiced in Ohio and in Colorado.
Had you always wanted to be a lawyer?
I decided that it just likecame to me like a flash of inspiration.
When I was about 15, I told mymom and dad and that I wanted to
(02:38):
be an attorney.
And they sort of like, sort ofrolled their eyes and thought I'd
outgrow it.
But they were always really,really supportive.
And so, yeah, I've always,since I was a teenager, decided I
was going to be an attorney.
I think that, you know, isinteresting because I told you before
we started, I have a lawenforcement career.
So law is in my soul and inmy, in my heart, my soul.
(03:01):
Obviously, different perspectives.
You, you were attorney.
An attorney for Familywelfare, correct?
No, not welfare.
I represented men and women indivorce and dissolution, like just
agreeing to dissolve inmarriage and by agreement with all
the assets.
I represented them in childcustody cases and I was appointed
(03:23):
by the court to representchildren in divorce cases when there
was alcohol or drug abuse orsome sort of mental problem or emotional
problem with one or both parents.
Well, thank you for your workin regard to that.
I worked at Domestic Violencefor about four years in specific
(03:44):
down in the Colorado Springs area.
And I understand that thosefamily dynamics sometimes are very
complicated in divorce andthose kind of issues and children
custody and all that kind of stuff.
I think all of that probablycontributed to your journey in understanding
a work life balance in harmony.
(04:06):
It did when I was.
If I had been a, if I just, Imean, after I was only in that for
12 years when I became acommercial attorney because I really,
I didn't have the skills andabilities I did as a trained, you
know, professional coach orthe, you know, holistic counseling
diploma or the meditation stuff.
When I was, you know, I was.
I graduated from law school at 25.
(04:27):
I worked for other attorneysfor about three years and opened
my own solo office inLakewood, Ohio, a suburb on the west
side of the Cuyahoga river innear part of Cleveland.
And so I, you know, I grew upin a suburb in Louisville, Kentucky
with both parents and my momstayed home.
And so I had never beenexposed to any of that.
I didn't have any, I didn'thave any of the training or the skills
(04:50):
to really do it.
And I was doing it to the bestof my ability.
You know, still, I was stillempathetic and everything, but I
feel I would have done better with.
As I started with it older, itwas, it was a very challenging area
of the law.
You know, it, it is it.
I think that it would bechallenging at any age, in my opinion.
(05:10):
But I think that going intolike your, your career now, where
you had to kind of.
Did you refine your purpose?
Did you have to.
I mean, what sparked yourinterest in moving from, from the,
the law arena of an attorneyarena to.
(05:30):
And even the commercial sideof it into more of a holistic approach
to healing and soul connectionand taking things forward in a positive
way in a coaching.
I actually brought that intomy practice of law and I really give
my son full credit for that.
(05:51):
I got divorced when he wasalmost three.
He developed really bad adhd.
And as a mother I went on a, ajourney to, you know, help heal he.
So that he could heal so thathe could function in the world so
that he could sit through hisclasses and, and learn and, and do
what he needed to do.
And I just feel that, youknow, it was a healing journey for
(06:14):
me as well.
And so it started when he was3, and when he was 3, I was about
33, and so a pretty young age.
You know, I started practicinglaw at 25, so it wasn't that far
in my career when thingsstarted to change like that.
And I was an attorney for avery long time before we sold our
practice.
I was in my late 50s when wesold our practice.
(06:37):
And so I'd been an attorneyfrom, you know, 25 till then and
about, I don't know, six orseven years before we sold the business.
The second practice, I soldtwo law firms.
I got a diploma in coachingand mentoring and in transformational
holistic counseling.
And I got certified as ameditation facilitator.
Not because I wanted to leaveinitially before practice of law,
(06:59):
but because I just really feltthat he was going to help me be a
better lawyer, a betterlistener, a better negotiator, just
all around.
A lot of the skills that Ifelt were missing from the law degree
and from what I was doing as a lawyer.
I just felt that thosediplomas and the skills and abilities
they were teaching me would,Would really help.
(07:20):
And, you know, as a mother anda partner and, and all those kind
of things, and it really,really did.
It was like the icing on the cake.
So you think your, your son'sADHD was the pivotal moment in your
life that kind of shaped thenew career path it began.
It.
Yeah, it definitely beganbecause I don't think I would have
learned all different kind ofhealing modalities or, or researched
(07:41):
how I could help him, whichturned out how I could help myself
because it is genetically passed.
And so I just feel like in hisfather and myself, even though it
didn't manifest it the way itdid in him, I can sort of feel it
in my blood.
And so, yeah, I really feelthat, you know, he was the impetus.
It was like they're lyingdormant, and he was like the reason
(08:02):
to really start going and.
And developing more.
Just not having that left sideof the brain work the right side
of the brain more, the leftside of the brain working with it,
you know, that feelingemotional stuff.
And what made you choose?
I mean, there's obviouslythere's ways of going different,
like, whether it be Easternmedicine or Western medicine, whether
(08:23):
it be a holistic approach or achemical approach, so to speak, we're
familiar with it even in ourfamily, without going into detail.
But our.
Both my girls have.
Our girls.
Pardon me.
Both our girls have a littlebit of adhd.
My wife has a little bit of adhd.
They insist I have a littlebit of adhd, which if they recognize
(08:48):
it in themselves and they'reseeing it in me, I guess it's one
of those things.
I probably have it as well.
You know, it is.
My wife and my daughter onlybring this situation into this because
my wife and our oldestdaughter use more of a holistic approach.
Meditation, and they do yogaand Pilates and kind of a holistic
(09:12):
approach to the adhd, asopposed to our younger, who kind
of tries that, but it didn'tgive her enough focus in order to.
So she obviously goes through.
She has some medication thatshe uses for her adhd.
So what was your catalyst forthe holistic approach?
(09:35):
I just didn't want him justjump in and put him on drugs.
We.
We ended up having to do that.
And once he became an adult,it's his choice.
I think he takes stuffsometimes, sometimes he doesn't.
He's.
He gets his energy out.
He has a big, like leper, bigpoodle dogs, whatever they are.
He goes running with that andhe does a bunch of workouts and stuff
(09:57):
like that.
So he's very.
He.
He stays fit.
He gets his energy out like that.
And he works with kids.
So he's a chess teacher andvery talented at that.
And so he gets it out in other ways.
But I think he doesoccasionally or maybe every day.
I don't really ask him anymore.
He's a grown man what he.
What if he takes anything extra?
(10:19):
Well, and certain situations,I think that that obviously can be
helpful and depends onwhatever works for you from those
perspectives.
You know, I.
I am a more.
Even with my own.
I've got rheumatoid arthritisreally bad because when I get injured,
I get injured.
Line of duty.
I was forced to retire.
My audience knows ourimmunity, knows it's been a journey
(10:40):
with that.
And they put me on like ninedifferent drugs, and every one of
them had severe side effectswith me.
And that killed me, actually.
So, you know, I went to a morenaturopathic and holistic approach
to my healing.
So I respect that approachbecause it has done wonders for me,
in particular with my diseaseand maintaining and managing it in
(11:03):
such a way that I can functionwithout the different nine different
drugs that they had me on.
Your.
Your coaching practice.
How did you.
I know that you.
You talk about coaching and Mentoring.
Is there a difference betweencoaching and mentoring?
Can you help us understandthat difference?
Yeah, there is a bigdifference between coaching and mentoring.
(11:26):
So if I'm coaching you, I knowthat you have all the answers inside
of you.
So as your coach, as yourtrained coach, I'll ask you powerful
questions.
I will maybe share intuitionswith you that I have, but I'll always
hand it back to you and seewhat you want to do with it.
I might reflect what I'mhearing from you or your body language
to help you maybe go deeper.
(11:48):
And I will just hold a reallybig judgment, free, unconditionally
loving space for you so thatyou can explore anything you want.
And I'm not going to interruptyou, I'm not going to tell you what
to do.
I hold the same space when I'mmentoring somebody.
But the difference is, is thatI'm allowing people to stand in my
(12:08):
shoulders for all the years ofstudying, you know, more spiritual,
holistic ways of being anddoing things.
And so I will share maybedifferent techniques and tools that
they can incorporate intotheir lives so they can go away and
practice and come back to mewhen they can discuss things that
are going on their life and Ican mentor them.
I'm not a counselor in theUnited States, just a mentor.
(12:31):
And so they're standing on myshoulders and I'm helping them in
that way.
So that's, I guess, one of thereasons my business is called dual
consultancy, because, youknow, mentoring and coaching, you
can get the same kind of results.
It's just different sides ofthe jewel that we're approaching
things from in the way thatworks best for whoever I'm working
with.
And, and a lot of my clientswill do, you know, maybe a couple
(12:54):
sessions of coaching and thenhave a mentoring session and then
go back to coaching.
There's.
I don't really have rules ofhow you have to do things, and the
soul readings that I do arejust another kind of lovely form
of mentoring.
Well, and I like the wordmentoring because I think that also
in the, at least in myconversations on this show, we've
(13:15):
had a lot of conversationswith individuals that are coaches
and people who are mentors.
None of them so far havecalled themselves a consultant, which
I like that approach as well.
I think that, you know, thefear with most of individuals that
think they need or try to seekout help within themselves, sometimes
(13:36):
the word coach scares them away.
So I think the word mentor isa very positive approach to bringing
somebody into, helping usbalance our lives, helping us to
understand our Sole purposeand what we're supposed to be doing
and recognize that.
So I think that it's a goodopportunity for us to be able to
(13:57):
help achieve a good, even awork life balance.
I think we all need.
Yeah, I mean, I guess with being.
I'm a work life balance andharmony coach, it's just a form of
life coaching.
And so I guess there are goodcounselors and not so good counselors
and good consultants and notso good consultants.
(14:17):
And you just.
I feel the same with coachesand mentors and you just really,
it's important to find onethat you resonate with that you have
an affinity with, that youfeel you can trust.
And so don't be afraid of us.
We're not the big bad wolf.
And you know, I wish that whenI was younger and I was a divorce
attorney and I didn't knowwhat to do and I was a young mother
(14:37):
at the same time with a lot onmy plate that I'd had a coach that
would.
That knew about coaching.
There wasn't that there.
I didn't have that option.
I had a counselor or apsychologist that I could go to or
psychiatrist, but thereweren't coaches.
And we're a great option for people.
You don't have to go into yourpast to figure things out.
(14:58):
You can deal with the here andnow and what you need to move forward.
Yeah, I agree with you.
I think it's a wonderfulopportunity for us to be able to
take a step forward, which iswhat we all should strive for.
You know, it's interestingbecause when you mentioned the work
life balance stuff, I, youknow, it as a cop, when I was working
on the job, it was difficultfor me to get a work life balance
(15:19):
because I was on call all thetime and I was out all the time or
we're all recovering shifts.
It's not a regular 9 to 5 jobwhere you know that at 5 o'clock
you punch out and you go home.
You know, so our hours werereally difficult.
The, you know, the timing arecalled out of school, school plays.
I got called out of dinner, Igot called out of the movies.
You know, this kind of.
And people ask, why do you do that?
Why do you want to be a cop?
(15:41):
Well, you have a positive sideto it as well.
But it was very difficult tohave a work life balance.
And I didn't realize thatuntil after I wasn't working anymore
in law enforcement.
Covid, just to bring that up,I think also gave us an opportunity
(16:02):
when it reared its ugly headand everybody started Working from
home and they startedunderstanding the aspects of a healthy
work life balance.
So a lot of places like mywife, they transitioned into a hybrid
situation where she still, andthere's a lot of people right now
(16:22):
where she works, where they'restill doing hybrid because they found
that having a nice work lifebalance presented more opportunity
for productivity, for more balance.
People working within thatenvironment were giving more to the,
(16:43):
to their, to their, took aproactive approach in their projects,
in their work.
From that perspective, theybecame a better employee because
they allowed them the opportunity.
You know, my wife drove anhour to an hour and 15 minutes to
work every day in nasty traffic.
(17:04):
And you know, we're worriedabout whether or not she's going
to get there safely.
There's accidents all over theplace and it's a Phoenix metro area.
It is a huge 6 million peoplein this area and every day there's
accidents.
Every day there's this, every,there is that you.
She went from that to the 42ndcommute from the tea we were having
(17:25):
watching the sun come up toher desk and it showed it, it was
definitive to that work life balance.
How do you, well, how do youdefine a good work life balance?
Well, that's why we added theword harmony in there because sometimes
I find that and I agree withyou 110%, it is nice not to have
(17:46):
to commute to work every day.
People that commute from whereI live to Denver, the traffic is
horrible.
And you know, they were goingto put in trains from Longmont years
ago and I don't know why itnever went through or they didn't
get the funding.
It's a mess.
So I can thoroughly understandand there's a lot of people that
(18:06):
I do know, like especially inthe tech industries, are working
for hospitals where they cando their work from their computers,
that they are working fromhome and very, very happy.
Especially, you know, whenthey have like preteens and teens
with a lot of, lot of activities.
And so yeah, the work lifebalance for some people can be difficult
because you never get to aplace where it's 100% balanced.
(18:29):
We really need to be flexible.
We need to be adaptable.
And that's why I like to bringthe word harmony into the picture
as well.
Because we're not expecting perfection.
You know, things are going togo wrong.
Those mistakes are justopportunities to learn and grow.
How can we do it differentlynext time?
How can we best take care ofourselves so that we can do the best
(18:49):
job we can at work and be theBest we can in other places in our
life while taking really goodcare of ourselves.
And so it's an ongoing process.
You know, we're all works in process.
And so when there's balanceand there's harmony, it's never going
to be a perfect but can alwaysbe improved upon.
Like it was with your wifewhen she got to have that 40 second
(19:11):
walk to her desk and shedidn't have two plus hours of commuting
where she could have anaccident every day, which is stressful.
You need to understand why shewould be a little bit calmer.
It makes complete sense.
Yeah, it was nice because onthose days, because she's still working
the hybrid here.
So on those days that she'shome, we get up in the morning, we
(19:36):
watch the sunrise, we have acup of tea, you know, we relax and
then she walks into work andthen we have lunch together.
You know, so four days out ofthe week we have lunch together and
dinner at a decent time.
And then three days a weekobviously she goes lunch at work
and it makes things nice.
It makes things, you know,she's like, yeah, this works.
I like this because I stillget the interaction at work, I still
(19:58):
get the interaction with myfriends at work in the human contact.
But, but you know, she gets tostay home and, and play with the
dog and you know, occasionallytalk to her husband.
So it works.
Yeah, it's not like that inall fields I represent, you know,
and I've helped some people inthe tech industry and there's some
(20:20):
weird ideas in the techindustry about not being allowed
to leave your computer andbeing always available for the people
there.
So I guess it really dependson the mindset of the people that
you work for and theirexpectations of you and allowing
you to have an actual life soyou'll be a better employee.
So it works.
How was your experience as aworking mother earlier said you're,
(20:43):
you're working mother.
How did that influence yourapproach to becoming who you are
today?
It's a big influence because Ineeded someone there.
Like I was telling you, Ithink I told you.
I mean my family is in Kentucky.
We were up in Cleveland, Ohio.
It's a six hour drive.
All my friends from law schoolwho could have been a peer support,
(21:04):
they were working either inKentucky or in the bottom part of
Indiana or Ohio.
So it was in.
My ex husband was, had justgraduated from medical school, was
doing his residency at theleaving clinic and working 70 hours
a week.
And so I had financial supportbut none, nothing else.
(21:29):
So I really had to develop myown tribe, my own team.
There weren't any coaches.
And I mean I found, I foundsome wonderful.
I was a runner back then withmen and women to go running with.
It was like an athletic club.
They had a really nice daycare.
A bunch of them had kids, someof them didn't.
It didn't matter.
We just put them in the daycare.
They were happy there.
You.
It's interesting because, youknow, as a.
(21:50):
I grew up with a single mother.
My mother, my.
My father died when I was avery early age and so my mother in
the 70s.
So I, I respect you for whatyou accomplished in regard to that
because my mother at the time,as you know, in the 70s, women couldn't
even have a checkbook bythemselves or they couldn't get a
(22:10):
credit card.
And it was difficult.
And the only jobs that theycould have literally were a.
You had to be.
You could be a secretary, youcould be a waitress, you could be.
I mean they were very limited.
The glass ceiling was notreally available as much as it really
should have been in regard to that.
And she struggled.
And I look back on that nowand think, wow, my mother really
(22:33):
did a good job with regard totaking care of three kids, my sister,
myself and a younger brotherin regard to.
To raising us in that environment.
So kudos first of all for that.
Because I think, well, Iwasn't your mother's generation.
You know, by the time I was inlaw school, author of the class was
Women and I.
(22:56):
I could open my own law firm,I could have my own bank account.
I could do all those kind of things.
And yeah, but it does impact you.
My, I've been married twice.
My second husband, his dad,dad was killed in a train wreck when
he was around three and hismother's sister moved in with her
and they moved out to Coloradoand she helped to raise my ex husband
(23:19):
and his sister.
And you know, he's verygrateful for that.
But.
But that had a huge impact onhis life and only to have, you know,
one parent.
Yeah, it does.
And it shows.
I mean it also shows thetenacity and, and the fortune fortitude
that individuals have whenyou're faced with obstacles and how
you can.
Can come through them and thatthere is a light at the end of the
(23:40):
tunnel and there isopportunity for you to move forward
in a positive way, which iswhat you treat.
I mean, you have a, you, youpresent a concept of transformational.
Let me try that in English.
Transformational healing.
And you know, I think we allhave to we ought to look deep within
ourselves, within ourselves.
And, you know, you have tohave a compassion.
(24:01):
You have to have heart.
You do.
You do something called heart alchemy.
Can you help us understandwhat that is and how it.
Yeah, so I help people andbecause for the first part of my
life, for some reason, youknow, maybe that's part of the reason
I became an attorney.
I'm really good in the head,but I was really reticent to let.
(24:22):
To feel my feelings.
You know, I didn't feel thatit was okay to feel certain feelings.
And really, if you don't feelyour feelings and let them move through
you, they're going to getstuck in your body to cause disease
or stuck in your mind andcause mental stuff.
And they're just a feeling.
They're not who we are.
They can feel really horrible.
They can feel really wonderful.
They're simply feelings.
And so, you know, through lotsof training and working in that kind
(24:47):
of spiritual kind of realm,just learning how to feel my feelings,
allow them to move through,through me and to replace them with,
with more love or more what Icall sacred qualities like kindness
or compassion or calm assurance.
So I'm letting stuff go thatdoesn't work and allowing other things
to come in.
And so I really love to helppeople to do that, because a lot
(25:11):
of people are only.
They only want to feel the,quote, good stuff, but if we don't
feel the, quote, bad stuff,it's going to fester.
That's a profound statement.
I think that people should understand.
I had to learn that throughsome of my own journey as well.
I suffer from ptsd, and ittook me a long time to recognize
that in my profession, you'retaught to sequester and push down
(25:32):
your feelings and not havethose feelings.
You can't cry, you can't be scared.
You can't, you know, I mean,there's so many.
You can't be depressed.
You can't be.
Because you're helping otherindividuals and you may come out
of the situation.
You can't do that.
Because if you show do that,and I'm not saying this as a fact,
this is what the profession perceives.
(25:53):
If you do that, then you'reweak and you're not, you know, you
can't be weak in thoseparticular sessions.
So it ingrains upon you topush your feelings down and not,
not use them, not, not toallow them to be felt.
You, you shouldn't feel, youknow, scared again.
You shouldn't feel when youcome up and have to arrest Somebody
(26:14):
you.
You can feel compassion, butyou can't show compassion.
You can.
You know what I mean?
So it's a situation that, youknow that you should be making these.
You.
I still.
I'm retired for.
Wow, 20.
I'm going to age myself.
I may have to digitally cutthis part out.
(26:36):
I'm pretty up there, too.
I think I retired 23 or 24years ago now, so it's been that
kind of a journey for me.
But I still have trouble crying.
And it comes through conversations.
And it comes throughconversations with people like you,
where we start talking aboutwhat's normal, what should be normal,
(26:57):
or what we feel or societyperceives as normal.
And we have to understand thatwhat's normal for me may not be normal
for someone else.
What's normal for them may notbe normal for me.
And that we have to allowourselves to be able to feel and
to understand and have thatcompassion, the humanity, and be
able to express our feelingsin a way.
(27:18):
Yeah.
And, you know, when I firststarted this path, I was really frustrated
as well, because I couldn't cry.
People, you know, we'd be in some.
Some sort of workshop thing,and people were bawling their eyes
out, and I'd be like.
And now it's like, I don't know.
My oldest granddaughter is indance and she's 15 and she's gorgeous
(27:40):
and she loves it, and all Ihave to do is watch her and I'm crying.
And one of my girlfriends, Ihave some friends, a whole set of
friends in Australia, and shehas her own dance studio.
And I got to go to see theChristmas show a couple times.
It's amazing.
I mean, I just sit there, crythe whole time, and it's like, it's.
(28:00):
To me, it's the best feeling.
If I.
If I feel a little bitdepressed about something, I am excited.
I am so excited because foryears I was lit.
I literally could not feel.
Because I just feel like thatsome of the messages I got were.
And my parents were lovely, but.
And they just brought thingsdown from their generation to me,
that it was okay to be upset, that.
(28:22):
But just a little bit.
To be a little bit angry, butnot a lot angry, you know?
And so a lot of things, a lotof emotions were discouraged.
And I just started.
And then if I.
If I expressed them, thenthere was a penalty, but they were
just literally.
I mean, I love my mom and dad.
I don't have them anymore, buthere on this earth with me.
(28:46):
But they were doing the bestthey can with how they were raised.
And so, yeah, and so it tookme years to let go enough and go
through this kind ofspiritual, kind of transformational
process, holistic thing that Icould cry and if I was.
If something was touching my heart.
(29:06):
So I understand what you'resaying completely.
I will admit to the fact thatI did cry at my youngest daughter's
college graduation.
I did cry just a little bit atmy daughter's.
My oldest daughter's wedding.
Okay, a little bit.
Had a little, you know, a little.
Something in my eye.
(29:26):
Got a little something in my eye.
But, yeah, it's difficult sometimes.
And occasionally I.
I get to a point where my wifewill come in and go, just cry.
You know, I'll be watchingsomething and it's heartwarming,
and she'll see my.
My eyes will tear up just alittle bit, and she's going, it's
okay.
You can just let it go.
(29:47):
But I still have a hard timedoing that.
See, and it's probably becomesthe same thing, what you just said.
The intergenerational aspectof my life, growing up in the dysfunctional
family that I did, you know,it was in me having to be.
Grow up, theoretically.
Quotes, air quotes.
You know, I had to grow up, bethe man of the house.
It, you know, it was ingrainedupon me at an early age.
(30:10):
And I think that we all shouldtake the opportunity to kind of learn
to explore those feelings,which I've been doing lately.
So it's one of those things.
I appreciate what you dobecause you're allowing individuals
to kind of open up within themselves.
And the heart alchemy,allowing your heart to feel.
You can't see my Italian handsmoving everywhere.
(30:33):
Allow them to feel, you know,and understand that that's normal.
It's okay to do that.
And.
And so I appreciate that.
It's amazing.
You mentioned somethingearlier about soul readings.
We both kind of mentioned it.
Can we touch upon how soulreadings kind of pertaining to this?
I've had a lot ofconversations with mediums and psychics
(30:54):
and, you know, metaphysicalindividuals that we talk about where
your souls come from and where.
Where it may be going and so forth.
How do you do a soul readingand how does that incorporate into
helping people heal?
Well, I.
What I do is I heart connectwith the person I'm doing a reading
with.
(31:14):
I use psychic tarot oraclecards, and I use them as a mentoring
tool.
So I infuse the cards with alot, a lot of love, and they'll pick
a certain number of cards.
I'll pick a certain a certainnumber of cards, and I'll lay them
all out, and then I'll tellthem the opportunities that are available
to them, the challenges theyhave, how to move around them, give
(31:36):
them some tips and tools fortheir life.
I like for them to record thesession, if they would, if they.
I always encourage thatbecause then they can use the reading,
maybe for the next threemonths to really guide them moving
forward.
And I guess the reason I lovethem as a mentoring tool is that
as adults and I have donereadings for some kids, but the parent
(31:56):
has to be there, is that we're.
We're visual, we can be audio,we can be kinesthetic, and we can
be a bunch of different things.
And if we sort of bring all ofthose together in one place.
When you're getting, like areading and it's.
It's mentoring is helping you.
You know, you're holding aspace of love.
You're helping.
You're acknowledging wheresomeone's at.
(32:17):
There's no judgment.
You're.
You're there to help themacknowledge their progress and how
they can move forward and whatthey need to let go of and how to
do it.
It can be a really profoundexperience for somebody.
I know that.
I really love it.
And it's just a great, youknow, tool to connect with someone's
heart and have them have thatfeeling as well.
(32:38):
Because, you know, you're.
You're holding this bigjudgment, free space of unconditional
love.
They're in your energy field,but they're not.
And not allowing them to jumpin your energy field.
And I just, I just love it.
And most people that getreadings love it because it's a.
It's a different way to be mentored.
We're.
We're both contributingbecause we're both picking cards
and we're both, you know, canhave a conversation together.
(33:01):
And I think that part oftransformation within ourselves,
we didn't understand that wedo have a mind, body, soul connection.
That mind, body, soul needs tobe able to connect in such a way
that it will allow us theopportunity to accept what needs
to be accepted and moveforward with what and let go of things
in our past that don't belongwith us anymore.
(33:22):
You had received a look at mynotes here really quick.
You had received a diploma intransformational holistic counseling
from Australia.
Did you travel to Australia todo that?
I.
A lot of the people I.
The coaching school I went tois in Australia, and I still am a.
(33:42):
I'm a professional certifiedcoach with the International Coaching
Federation.
And I help to train them in apart of their training, you know,
when they're like on theground doing coaching with each other.
And so I have a bunch offriends from that and I have a bunch
of friends the who wentthrough the transformational holistic
counseling.
So I usually go to Australialike once a year, hang out with my
(34:02):
friends, like minded souls andit's really lovely.
I love Perth, Australia on thewest coast of Australia.
And yeah, I do that.
And so it's a businesspleasure kind of thing and it's a
very heart opening part of my life.
How important is it for us torecognize that we.
(34:23):
This might be the wrongquestion, but I'll ask it anyway.
And if, if it isn't, then wecan rephrase it.
But how important is it for usto understand that we have an opportunity
to transform into somethingthat we or someone that we really
want to be or should be.
I think it's really importantbecause I work with people, train
(34:46):
their inner critic into aninner coach and one of the first
things that I share with themis that blah blah, blah, blah blah
is that most of us, we installthat we put it up there for a reason.
When we were younger and wedidn't have the tools and skills
to protect ourselves becauselots of parents and lots of society
(35:07):
says that it's better to behard on you now.
So if someone's mean to youlater, it won't hurt as much.
So I'm going to be harder andrefer on you now.
And then we take that on.
And so for example, using thatas an example since we installed
it in our body and systems asa mode to protect ourselves supposedly.
But we now we want to be morekind and caring and, and bring out
(35:30):
that inner coach who championsus and, and helps us to step forward
with more grace, ease and flow.
We can, we can practice thetools to let that old stuff go and
to dissolve it because we putit in our bodies and systems questions
to begin with.
So of course we can transformand go.
What happens is thoughoftentimes like the soul, the spirit
(35:54):
will be really excited about anew way that we can practice experiencing
more light and love.
But the human bit of ourselveswants to sit on the table and eat
potato chips and wants nothingto do with transformation.
And we have to be the lovingadult and say you're coming along
for the ride, my friend.
I'm sorry that I put you inthe driver's seat.
(36:15):
A lot of times you didn'tbelong there.
You're going in the backseat now.
I love you.
I'm going to take care of you.
But we're moving forward inthis direction that's going to be
better for both of us.
I.
I like sitting on the coucheating potato chips.
You don't have to totally givethat up in order to transform your
inner critic into an inner coach.
(36:36):
That's a good thing.
I don't do too many potatochips, but just the right amount,
you know, that's part of my soul.
Needs them.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
It's interesting.
I think the opportunities thatwe have been presented in life, in
our journey here on earth,that allow us to be able to move
(36:59):
forward and understand we allhave a purpose.
And that purpose sometimesneed to.
We.
We need to address thatpurpose in a way that we can help
others move forward as well.
You do that in what you'redoing now.
I think you've transformedyour own self, your own identity
into something that is a veryprogressive part of other people's
(37:19):
lives, giving them opportunityto heal.
With everything that youcombine together, I think it's a
brilliant opportunity for usto be able to improve ourselves.
We.
What should we as individuals recognize?
Maybe the top three or fourthings that we should recognize within
ourselves to show us that weprobably should seek out your services
(37:41):
or somebody like you.
Well, I feel like I know oneof the things that I used to be is
that I was really, really, asan attorney, was really stressed
and wound up and I had a.
The woman that facilitated theclass was transformational Hol and
counseling allow allowed herto counsel me, but I wasn't a very
(38:03):
good, I don't know, student orwhatever of it.
I didn't take on that, youknow, the advice that she gave me
of how I could let go of thatstress and have a lot more ease,
grace and flow in my life.
So if we're stressed, ifyou're stressed out, if you feel
overwhelmed, if you feelbrought burnt out, if.
If life just feels difficultand you know that there's a place
(38:26):
inside of you that's ready andwilling to, like, open up to more
courage and joy, more grace,ease and flow.
This kind of stuff is reallyhelpful because it's not like we
have anything wrong withourselves that we can't exist in
the world and continue to move forward.
But why not move forward withmore joy?
You know, why not move forwardwith more gray season flow?
(38:48):
Why not move forward it with amore of an open heart and more comp.
Compassion and less of thatold paradigm that we have to suffer
to be holy.
It is really not kind.
And it's really not a part ofwho we have to be anymore.
So it's not like there'ssomething wrong with us that we have
to do it, but it's somethingthat we want to do for ourselves
so that we can have a clearer,brighter, more joyful life and that
(39:12):
we can have a more full cupwith love and not feel run out of
that all the time.
Time.
And that is going to enrichthe lives of the people around us
as well.
I think that's brilliant.
Do you feel that earlier wekind of mentioned this and touched
upon it a little bit.
The things we talk about, whatbrings forward from our ancestors
(39:34):
and dropped into our laps, soto speak.
I call it intergenerational trauma.
I was introduced to that terma couple years ago on a conversation
here on this show, actually.
And the more I startedunderstanding intergenerational trauma
and what society and culturehas pressured or put people through
in order to get who we are,shape us as to who we are.
(39:57):
Do you think that we, associety and culture have kind of
started opening up a littlebit to the fact that there is an
intergenerational trauma andthings that we need to let go of
that our ancestors havedropped in our laps that don't work
for us any longer?
Absolutely.
I do work with itenergetically, and I'm happy to share
(40:18):
how I do it.
Because there are.
Anytime you have aninteraction with somebody, anytime
someone thinks of you or thinkyou think of them, anytime you have
a reaction to something,energetic connections are established.
And so we can cut thoseenergetic connections like.
Like having a beautiful goldencylinder come around our bodies and
just gently cut any energeticconnections that are not about love
(40:40):
and have them healed with hisgolden healing light.
But our genetic and our sexualcords, connections and attachments
while the other person isalive cannot be cut.
But we can work with what'scalled the universal violet flame,
which is just a violet lightor a violet flame.
It's the.
The.
The energy.
It's the seventh ray of swords.
(41:00):
It's the energy of the new ageof Aquarius.
Aquarius Part of it.
And we can just ask it toflood through all of our energetic
connections that cannot be cut.
And it'll flood through all ofthose genetic cords, connections
and attachments, all thepeople that you've had sex with,
whether it's full on text orjust that kind of energetic zing
between two people.
And it'll transmute andtransform those connections into
(41:22):
love.
You have to do it on a regularbasis that way.
And you can also, becausewe're in a physical body, we're also
energetically connected to themind of humanity.
Now, I don't want to beconnected with the mind of all men
and all women on this planet.
That would be.
I would be flat on the ground.
So I also asked the violetflame to flood all of my energetic
(41:44):
connections with the psyche ofhumanity, psyche of all men and women.
So because I'm in a physicalbody, I'm connected with them.
And so, yes, it is there.
But energetically working withthe violet flame and cord cutting,
as I've mentioned, can cutenergetic cords, you know, on a daily
basis.
It's something we have to do,like we're brushing our teeth, so
we're cutting those energetic connections.
(42:06):
The loving ones will always remain.
And we can flood thoseenergetic connections that cannot
be cut with thistransformational energy.
The other person or partiesare benefited, and so are we.
So that we're not.
If they.
If, you know, you're marriedand your spouse or your sister or
your nephew has a bad hair dayor gets really, really upset about
(42:28):
something, we don'tautomatically feel horrible because
we're genetically corded with them.
And if with.
With our kids, we'reenergetically connected through all
of our chakras.
So, you know, it's reallyimportant to flood all that with
a violet flame, and it helpsthem as well.
That positive way of workingaround that.
(42:49):
I like that.
I think that, you know, again,I do agree with you.
I think that we're allconnected as humanity.
We are all connected together,all from the same source.
And I think that thatopportunity that you just presented
gives us kind of a pause, Iguess, a little bit, so that we can
reflect within ourselves.
(43:09):
Intergenerational trauma is a.
Is.
I have come to find out in.
Intergenerational trauma cancause many, many issues, and that
it does have to be dealt within such a way that you can really
release it in a positive way.
And it sounds like you have apathway towards that.
Well, let me just clarify here.
This can help withintergenerational trauma.
(43:31):
That does not mean that youmight not need to have the assistance
of a professional to talk itout and to completely let it go.
You know, Know if you workwith cohort cord cutting in the violet
flame and there's otherenergetic tools I teach in my weekly
spiritual classes, and it helps.
That's great.
But sometimes it goes sodeeply, you know, and that we really
(43:54):
need an extra party's help.
And it wouldn't be like the coaching.
It might be beyond thecoaching or mentoring that I do,
it might be counseling.
So I'm not saying that noone's ever going to need that.
I'm just saying.
Saying that it's a big helpfor everybody to cleanse and clear
those energetic connectionsthat cannot be cut.
Which I agree.
I think that's.
I agree.
Well, let's talk a little bitabout how somebody can get a hold
(44:16):
of you in connect with yourcoaching from the heart.
I love this coaching from the heart.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So my website is JewelConsultancy J E w e l consultancy.com
just1l or you can always textme if you're in the US or Canada.
720-936-2634.
(44:40):
That's the fastest way toreach me.
You can always mention this show.
So I know how you found me.
So I do.
I'm a coach, I'm a mentor andI do soul readings which are a part
of the mentoring.
I do help people to bringbalance and harmony into their lives.
I do help people to transmuteand transform into love, fear based
(45:01):
patterning and programming andother things that are holding them
back and teach them how tocleanse and clear themselves and
fill themselves with more love.
And we do that with soulreadings as well.
It's a part of mentoring.
So I love to do all that.
If that interests you, you canalways text me or you can just text
me and ask me a questionbecause you saw me in the show and
a question came up for you,for you.
(45:22):
That's fantastic.
And I'll make sure that's inthe show notes as well so that they
have an easy access to atleast clicking that and finding your
website and the your contactinformation will be on the web page
as well.
This has been fantastic.
Arlene.
I really appreciate whatyou've shared with us.
Your journey, your experience,your wisdom, your heart.
(45:43):
So thank you very much forbeing on the show.
I appreciate it.
This is one more thing beforeyou go.
So before we go, do you haveany words of wisdom?
I guess I would focus.
I love to share with peoplethe focus of this like this trinity,
kindness, patience and tolerance.
So those are sacred qualities.
And I encourage you to bekind, to be patient and to be tolerant
(46:07):
with yourself and that willhelp you to be kind, patient and
tolerant with your life andother people in your life.
And that will help to fillyour cup up with love so you'll have
more love to share thatoverflow with others.
Brilliant, brilliant words of wisdom.
I appreciate those.
I'm going to write them alldown and stick them on my computer.
Remind me every day.
(46:27):
Remind me every day again.
Arlene, thank you.
It's been a great.
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you very much for comingon the show.
I really appreciate meetingyou and having this conversation.
I hope we can have another onedown the road.
That would be lovely.
Well, again, I will make surethat everything is in the show notes
so that people are an easy wayto contact you.
And one more Thing before youall go.
(46:49):
Have a great day.
Have a great week, and thankyou for being here.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of.
One More Thing before you go.
Check out ourwebsite@beforeyougopodcast.com youm
can find us as well assubscribe to the program and rate
us on your favorite podcastlistening platform.
Hey, one more thing before you go.
How do you juggle a highpowered career while raising a family?
What does it truly mean tofind balance and harmony with your
personal, professional life?
Today we're diving into thesequestions and more with our extraordinary
guest, Arlene Cohen Miller.
Arlene is the CEO of JewelConsulting, a work life balance and
(00:22):
harmony coach, and aprofessional certified coach with
the International Coaching Federation.
I'm your host, Michael Hurst.
Welcome to one more thingbefore you go.
(00:45):
With an impressive backgroundas the AV rated attorney and a certified
meditation facilitator with adiploma in transformational holistic
counseling from Australia,Arlene brings a wealth of knowledge
and expertise and experienceto our discussion.
Whether you're striving forwork life balance, looking to lead
with more compassion andhumanity, which we all need, or seeking
(01:08):
to manifest a brighter future,this episode is for you.
Welcome to the show.
Arlene.
Hello.
Lovely to be here.
Michael, you know, it's youhaving a wonderful, a wonderful journey
that you've been on.
You contributed to society inso many positive ways, a very compassionate
and a very humane way ofapproaching your coaching and making
(01:32):
it a lot easier for people tounderstand that we're all human beings
and we're all in this togetherand we can always work through our
problems together.
So thank you.
My pleasure.
You know, I, I know that.
Are you from Colorado or doyou just reside.
No, most people here aren'tfrom Colorado.
(01:53):
I grew up in Louisville,Kentucky, and I went to undergrad
at Emory in Atlanta.
My first year was at OhioWesleyan in a small town in Ohio.
Then I transferred and I wentto law school at University of Kentucky
College of Law in Lexington, Kentucky.
And I've also.
So I practiced law.
I never practiced law in Kentucky.
I moved from law school up toa suburb of Cleveland.
(02:15):
Cleveland.
Got my license in Kentucky andOhio, then later in Colorado and
so I practiced in Ohio and in Colorado.
Had you always wanted to be a lawyer?
I decided that it just likecame to me like a flash of inspiration.
When I was about 15, I told mymom and dad and that I wanted to
(02:38):
be an attorney.
And they sort of like, sort ofrolled their eyes and thought I'd
outgrow it.
But they were always really,really supportive.
And so, yeah, I've always,since I was a teenager, decided I
was going to be an attorney.
I think that, you know, isinteresting because I told you before
we started, I have a lawenforcement career.
So law is in my soul and inmy, in my heart, my soul.
(03:01):
Obviously, different perspectives.
You, you were attorney.
An attorney for Familywelfare, correct?
No, not welfare.
I represented men and women indivorce and dissolution, like just
agreeing to dissolve inmarriage and by agreement with all
the assets.
I represented them in childcustody cases and I was appointed
(03:23):
by the court to representchildren in divorce cases when there
was alcohol or drug abuse orsome sort of mental problem or emotional
problem with one or both parents.
Well, thank you for your workin regard to that.
I worked at Domestic Violencefor about four years in specific
(03:44):
down in the Colorado Springs area.
And I understand that thosefamily dynamics sometimes are very
complicated in divorce andthose kind of issues and children
custody and all that kind of stuff.
I think all of that probablycontributed to your journey in understanding
a work life balance in harmony.
(04:06):
It did when I was.
If I had been a, if I just, Imean, after I was only in that for
12 years when I became acommercial attorney because I really,
I didn't have the skills andabilities I did as a trained, you
know, professional coach orthe, you know, holistic counseling
diploma or the meditation stuff.
When I was, you know, I was.
I graduated from law school at 25.
(04:27):
I worked for other attorneysfor about three years and opened
my own solo office inLakewood, Ohio, a suburb on the west
side of the Cuyahoga river innear part of Cleveland.
And so I, you know, I grew upin a suburb in Louisville, Kentucky
with both parents and my momstayed home.
And so I had never beenexposed to any of that.
I didn't have any, I didn'thave any of the training or the skills
(04:50):
to really do it.
And I was doing it to the bestof my ability.
You know, still, I was stillempathetic and everything, but I
feel I would have done better with.
As I started with it older, itwas, it was a very challenging area
of the law.
You know, it, it is it.
I think that it would bechallenging at any age, in my opinion.
(05:10):
But I think that going intolike your, your career now, where
you had to kind of.
Did you refine your purpose?
Did you have to.
I mean, what sparked yourinterest in moving from, from the,
the law arena of an attorneyarena to.
(05:30):
And even the commercial sideof it into more of a holistic approach
to healing and soul connectionand taking things forward in a positive
way in a coaching.
I actually brought that intomy practice of law and I really give
my son full credit for that.
(05:51):
I got divorced when he wasalmost three.
He developed really bad adhd.
And as a mother I went on a, ajourney to, you know, help heal he.
So that he could heal so thathe could function in the world so
that he could sit through hisclasses and, and learn and, and do
what he needed to do.
And I just feel that, youknow, it was a healing journey for
(06:14):
me as well.
And so it started when he was3, and when he was 3, I was about
33, and so a pretty young age.
You know, I started practicinglaw at 25, so it wasn't that far
in my career when thingsstarted to change like that.
And I was an attorney for avery long time before we sold our
practice.
I was in my late 50s when wesold our practice.
(06:37):
And so I'd been an attorneyfrom, you know, 25 till then and
about, I don't know, six orseven years before we sold the business.
The second practice, I soldtwo law firms.
I got a diploma in coachingand mentoring and in transformational
holistic counseling.
And I got certified as ameditation facilitator.
Not because I wanted to leaveinitially before practice of law,
(06:59):
but because I just really feltthat he was going to help me be a
better lawyer, a betterlistener, a better negotiator, just
all around.
A lot of the skills that Ifelt were missing from the law degree
and from what I was doing as a lawyer.
I just felt that thosediplomas and the skills and abilities
they were teaching me would,Would really help.
(07:20):
And, you know, as a mother anda partner and, and all those kind
of things, and it really,really did.
It was like the icing on the cake.
So you think your, your son'sADHD was the pivotal moment in your
life that kind of shaped thenew career path it began.
It.
Yeah, it definitely beganbecause I don't think I would have
learned all different kind ofhealing modalities or, or researched
(07:41):
how I could help him, whichturned out how I could help myself
because it is genetically passed.
And so I just feel like in hisfather and myself, even though it
didn't manifest it the way itdid in him, I can sort of feel it
in my blood.
And so, yeah, I really feelthat, you know, he was the impetus.
It was like they're lyingdormant, and he was like the reason
(08:02):
to really start going and.
And developing more.
Just not having that left sideof the brain work the right side
of the brain more, the leftside of the brain working with it,
you know, that feelingemotional stuff.
And what made you choose?
I mean, there's obviouslythere's ways of going different,
like, whether it be Easternmedicine or Western medicine, whether
(08:23):
it be a holistic approach or achemical approach, so to speak, we're
familiar with it even in ourfamily, without going into detail.
But our.
Both my girls have.
Our girls.
Pardon me.
Both our girls have a littlebit of adhd.
My wife has a little bit of adhd.
They insist I have a littlebit of adhd, which if they recognize
(08:48):
it in themselves and they'reseeing it in me, I guess it's one
of those things.
I probably have it as well.
You know, it is.
My wife and my daughter onlybring this situation into this because
my wife and our oldestdaughter use more of a holistic approach.
Meditation, and they do yogaand Pilates and kind of a holistic
(09:12):
approach to the adhd, asopposed to our younger, who kind
of tries that, but it didn'tgive her enough focus in order to.
So she obviously goes through.
She has some medication thatshe uses for her adhd.
So what was your catalyst forthe holistic approach?
(09:35):
I just didn't want him justjump in and put him on drugs.
We.
We ended up having to do that.
And once he became an adult,it's his choice.
I think he takes stuffsometimes, sometimes he doesn't.
He's.
He gets his energy out.
He has a big, like leper, bigpoodle dogs, whatever they are.
He goes running with that andhe does a bunch of workouts and stuff
(09:57):
like that.
So he's very.
He.
He stays fit.
He gets his energy out like that.
And he works with kids.
So he's a chess teacher andvery talented at that.
And so he gets it out in other ways.
But I think he doesoccasionally or maybe every day.
I don't really ask him anymore.
He's a grown man what he.
What if he takes anything extra?
(10:19):
Well, and certain situations,I think that that obviously can be
helpful and depends onwhatever works for you from those
perspectives.
You know, I.
I am a more.
Even with my own.
I've got rheumatoid arthritisreally bad because when I get injured,
I get injured.
Line of duty.
I was forced to retire.
My audience knows ourimmunity, knows it's been a journey
(10:40):
with that.
And they put me on like ninedifferent drugs, and every one of
them had severe side effectswith me.
And that killed me, actually.
So, you know, I went to a morenaturopathic and holistic approach
to my healing.
So I respect that approachbecause it has done wonders for me,
in particular with my diseaseand maintaining and managing it in
(11:03):
such a way that I can functionwithout the different nine different
drugs that they had me on.
Your.
Your coaching practice.
How did you.
I know that you.
You talk about coaching and Mentoring.
Is there a difference betweencoaching and mentoring?
Can you help us understandthat difference?
Yeah, there is a bigdifference between coaching and mentoring.
(11:26):
So if I'm coaching you, I knowthat you have all the answers inside
of you.
So as your coach, as yourtrained coach, I'll ask you powerful
questions.
I will maybe share intuitionswith you that I have, but I'll always
hand it back to you and seewhat you want to do with it.
I might reflect what I'mhearing from you or your body language
to help you maybe go deeper.
(11:48):
And I will just hold a reallybig judgment, free, unconditionally
loving space for you so thatyou can explore anything you want.
And I'm not going to interruptyou, I'm not going to tell you what
to do.
I hold the same space when I'mmentoring somebody.
But the difference is, is thatI'm allowing people to stand in my
(12:08):
shoulders for all the years ofstudying, you know, more spiritual,
holistic ways of being anddoing things.
And so I will share maybedifferent techniques and tools that
they can incorporate intotheir lives so they can go away and
practice and come back to mewhen they can discuss things that
are going on their life and Ican mentor them.
I'm not a counselor in theUnited States, just a mentor.
(12:31):
And so they're standing on myshoulders and I'm helping them in
that way.
So that's, I guess, one of thereasons my business is called dual
consultancy, because, youknow, mentoring and coaching, you
can get the same kind of results.
It's just different sides ofthe jewel that we're approaching
things from in the way thatworks best for whoever I'm working
with.
And, and a lot of my clientswill do, you know, maybe a couple
(12:54):
sessions of coaching and thenhave a mentoring session and then
go back to coaching.
There's.
I don't really have rules ofhow you have to do things, and the
soul readings that I do arejust another kind of lovely form
of mentoring.
Well, and I like the wordmentoring because I think that also
in the, at least in myconversations on this show, we've
(13:15):
had a lot of conversationswith individuals that are coaches
and people who are mentors.
None of them so far havecalled themselves a consultant, which
I like that approach as well.
I think that, you know, thefear with most of individuals that
think they need or try to seekout help within themselves, sometimes
(13:36):
the word coach scares them away.
So I think the word mentor isa very positive approach to bringing
somebody into, helping usbalance our lives, helping us to
understand our Sole purposeand what we're supposed to be doing
and recognize that.
So I think that it's a goodopportunity for us to be able to
(13:57):
help achieve a good, even awork life balance.
I think we all need.
Yeah, I mean, I guess with being.
I'm a work life balance andharmony coach, it's just a form of
life coaching.
And so I guess there are goodcounselors and not so good counselors
and good consultants and notso good consultants.
(14:17):
And you just.
I feel the same with coachesand mentors and you just really,
it's important to find onethat you resonate with that you have
an affinity with, that youfeel you can trust.
And so don't be afraid of us.
We're not the big bad wolf.
And you know, I wish that whenI was younger and I was a divorce
attorney and I didn't knowwhat to do and I was a young mother
(14:37):
at the same time with a lot onmy plate that I'd had a coach that
would.
That knew about coaching.
There wasn't that there.
I didn't have that option.
I had a counselor or apsychologist that I could go to or
psychiatrist, but thereweren't coaches.
And we're a great option for people.
You don't have to go into yourpast to figure things out.
(14:58):
You can deal with the here andnow and what you need to move forward.
Yeah, I agree with you.
I think it's a wonderfulopportunity for us to be able to
take a step forward, which iswhat we all should strive for.
You know, it's interestingbecause when you mentioned the work
life balance stuff, I, youknow, it as a cop, when I was working
on the job, it was difficultfor me to get a work life balance
(15:19):
because I was on call all thetime and I was out all the time or
we're all recovering shifts.
It's not a regular 9 to 5 jobwhere you know that at 5 o'clock
you punch out and you go home.
You know, so our hours werereally difficult.
The, you know, the timing arecalled out of school, school plays.
I got called out of dinner, Igot called out of the movies.
You know, this kind of.
And people ask, why do you do that?
Why do you want to be a cop?
(15:41):
Well, you have a positive sideto it as well.
But it was very difficult tohave a work life balance.
And I didn't realize thatuntil after I wasn't working anymore
in law enforcement.
Covid, just to bring that up,I think also gave us an opportunity
(16:02):
when it reared its ugly headand everybody started Working from
home and they startedunderstanding the aspects of a healthy
work life balance.
So a lot of places like mywife, they transitioned into a hybrid
situation where she still, andthere's a lot of people right now
(16:22):
where she works, where they'restill doing hybrid because they found
that having a nice work lifebalance presented more opportunity
for productivity, for more balance.
People working within thatenvironment were giving more to the,
(16:43):
to their, to their, took aproactive approach in their projects,
in their work.
From that perspective, theybecame a better employee because
they allowed them the opportunity.
You know, my wife drove anhour to an hour and 15 minutes to
work every day in nasty traffic.
(17:04):
And you know, we're worriedabout whether or not she's going
to get there safely.
There's accidents all over theplace and it's a Phoenix metro area.
It is a huge 6 million peoplein this area and every day there's
accidents.
Every day there's this, every,there is that you.
She went from that to the 42ndcommute from the tea we were having
(17:25):
watching the sun come up toher desk and it showed it, it was
definitive to that work life balance.
How do you, well, how do youdefine a good work life balance?
Well, that's why we added theword harmony in there because sometimes
I find that and I agree withyou 110%, it is nice not to have
(17:46):
to commute to work every day.
People that commute from whereI live to Denver, the traffic is
horrible.
And you know, they were goingto put in trains from Longmont years
ago and I don't know why itnever went through or they didn't
get the funding.
It's a mess.
So I can thoroughly understandand there's a lot of people that
(18:06):
I do know, like especially inthe tech industries, are working
for hospitals where they cando their work from their computers,
that they are working fromhome and very, very happy.
Especially, you know, whenthey have like preteens and teens
with a lot of, lot of activities.
And so yeah, the work lifebalance for some people can be difficult
because you never get to aplace where it's 100% balanced.
(18:29):
We really need to be flexible.
We need to be adaptable.
And that's why I like to bringthe word harmony into the picture
as well.
Because we're not expecting perfection.
You know, things are going togo wrong.
Those mistakes are justopportunities to learn and grow.
How can we do it differentlynext time?
How can we best take care ofourselves so that we can do the best
(18:49):
job we can at work and be theBest we can in other places in our
life while taking really goodcare of ourselves.
And so it's an ongoing process.
You know, we're all works in process.
And so when there's balanceand there's harmony, it's never going
to be a perfect but can alwaysbe improved upon.
Like it was with your wifewhen she got to have that 40 second
(19:11):
walk to her desk and shedidn't have two plus hours of commuting
where she could have anaccident every day, which is stressful.
You need to understand why shewould be a little bit calmer.
It makes complete sense.
Yeah, it was nice because onthose days, because she's still working
the hybrid here.
So on those days that she'shome, we get up in the morning, we
(19:36):
watch the sunrise, we have acup of tea, you know, we relax and
then she walks into work andthen we have lunch together.
You know, so four days out ofthe week we have lunch together and
dinner at a decent time.
And then three days a weekobviously she goes lunch at work
and it makes things nice.
It makes things, you know,she's like, yeah, this works.
I like this because I stillget the interaction at work, I still
(19:58):
get the interaction with myfriends at work in the human contact.
But, but you know, she gets tostay home and, and play with the
dog and you know, occasionallytalk to her husband.
So it works.
Yeah, it's not like that inall fields I represent, you know,
and I've helped some people inthe tech industry and there's some
(20:20):
weird ideas in the techindustry about not being allowed
to leave your computer andbeing always available for the people
there.
So I guess it really dependson the mindset of the people that
you work for and theirexpectations of you and allowing
you to have an actual life soyou'll be a better employee.
So it works.
How was your experience as aworking mother earlier said you're,
(20:43):
you're working mother.
How did that influence yourapproach to becoming who you are
today?
It's a big influence because Ineeded someone there.
Like I was telling you, Ithink I told you.
I mean my family is in Kentucky.
We were up in Cleveland, Ohio.
It's a six hour drive.
All my friends from law schoolwho could have been a peer support,
(21:04):
they were working either inKentucky or in the bottom part of
Indiana or Ohio.
So it was in.
My ex husband was, had justgraduated from medical school, was
doing his residency at theleaving clinic and working 70 hours
a week.
And so I had financial supportbut none, nothing else.
(21:29):
So I really had to develop myown tribe, my own team.
There weren't any coaches.
And I mean I found, I foundsome wonderful.
I was a runner back then withmen and women to go running with.
It was like an athletic club.
They had a really nice daycare.
A bunch of them had kids, someof them didn't.
It didn't matter.
We just put them in the daycare.
They were happy there.
You.
It's interesting because, youknow, as a.
(21:50):
I grew up with a single mother.
My mother, my.
My father died when I was avery early age and so my mother in
the 70s.
So I, I respect you for whatyou accomplished in regard to that
because my mother at the time,as you know, in the 70s, women couldn't
even have a checkbook bythemselves or they couldn't get a
(22:10):
credit card.
And it was difficult.
And the only jobs that theycould have literally were a.
You had to be.
You could be a secretary, youcould be a waitress, you could be.
I mean they were very limited.
The glass ceiling was notreally available as much as it really
should have been in regard to that.
And she struggled.
And I look back on that nowand think, wow, my mother really
(22:33):
did a good job with regard totaking care of three kids, my sister,
myself and a younger brotherin regard to.
To raising us in that environment.
So kudos first of all for that.
Because I think, well, Iwasn't your mother's generation.
You know, by the time I was inlaw school, author of the class was
Women and I.
(22:56):
I could open my own law firm,I could have my own bank account.
I could do all those kind of things.
And yeah, but it does impact you.
My, I've been married twice.
My second husband, his dad,dad was killed in a train wreck when
he was around three and hismother's sister moved in with her
and they moved out to Coloradoand she helped to raise my ex husband
(23:19):
and his sister.
And you know, he's verygrateful for that.
But.
But that had a huge impact onhis life and only to have, you know,
one parent.
Yeah, it does.
And it shows.
I mean it also shows thetenacity and, and the fortune fortitude
that individuals have whenyou're faced with obstacles and how
you can.
Can come through them and thatthere is a light at the end of the
(23:40):
tunnel and there isopportunity for you to move forward
in a positive way, which iswhat you treat.
I mean, you have a, you, youpresent a concept of transformational.
Let me try that in English.
Transformational healing.
And you know, I think we allhave to we ought to look deep within
ourselves, within ourselves.
And, you know, you have tohave a compassion.
(24:01):
You have to have heart.
You do.
You do something called heart alchemy.
Can you help us understandwhat that is and how it.
Yeah, so I help people andbecause for the first part of my
life, for some reason, youknow, maybe that's part of the reason
I became an attorney.
I'm really good in the head,but I was really reticent to let.
(24:22):
To feel my feelings.
You know, I didn't feel thatit was okay to feel certain feelings.
And really, if you don't feelyour feelings and let them move through
you, they're going to getstuck in your body to cause disease
or stuck in your mind andcause mental stuff.
And they're just a feeling.
They're not who we are.
They can feel really horrible.
They can feel really wonderful.
They're simply feelings.
And so, you know, through lotsof training and working in that kind
(24:47):
of spiritual kind of realm,just learning how to feel my feelings,
allow them to move through,through me and to replace them with,
with more love or more what Icall sacred qualities like kindness
or compassion or calm assurance.
So I'm letting stuff go thatdoesn't work and allowing other things
to come in.
And so I really love to helppeople to do that, because a lot
(25:11):
of people are only.
They only want to feel the,quote, good stuff, but if we don't
feel the, quote, bad stuff,it's going to fester.
That's a profound statement.
I think that people should understand.
I had to learn that throughsome of my own journey as well.
I suffer from ptsd, and ittook me a long time to recognize
that in my profession, you'retaught to sequester and push down
(25:32):
your feelings and not havethose feelings.
You can't cry, you can't be scared.
You can't, you know, I mean,there's so many.
You can't be depressed.
You can't be.
Because you're helping otherindividuals and you may come out
of the situation.
You can't do that.
Because if you show do that,and I'm not saying this as a fact,
this is what the profession perceives.
(25:53):
If you do that, then you'reweak and you're not, you know, you
can't be weak in thoseparticular sessions.
So it ingrains upon you topush your feelings down and not,
not use them, not, not toallow them to be felt.
You, you shouldn't feel, youknow, scared again.
You shouldn't feel when youcome up and have to arrest Somebody
(26:14):
you.
You can feel compassion, butyou can't show compassion.
You can.
You know what I mean?
So it's a situation that, youknow that you should be making these.
You.
I still.
I'm retired for.
Wow, 20.
I'm going to age myself.
I may have to digitally cutthis part out.
(26:36):
I'm pretty up there, too.
I think I retired 23 or 24years ago now, so it's been that
kind of a journey for me.
But I still have trouble crying.
And it comes through conversations.
And it comes throughconversations with people like you,
where we start talking aboutwhat's normal, what should be normal,
(26:57):
or what we feel or societyperceives as normal.
And we have to understand thatwhat's normal for me may not be normal
for someone else.
What's normal for them may notbe normal for me.
And that we have to allowourselves to be able to feel and
to understand and have thatcompassion, the humanity, and be
able to express our feelingsin a way.
(27:18):
Yeah.
And, you know, when I firststarted this path, I was really frustrated
as well, because I couldn't cry.
People, you know, we'd be in some.
Some sort of workshop thing,and people were bawling their eyes
out, and I'd be like.
And now it's like, I don't know.
My oldest granddaughter is indance and she's 15 and she's gorgeous
(27:40):
and she loves it, and all Ihave to do is watch her and I'm crying.
And one of my girlfriends, Ihave some friends, a whole set of
friends in Australia, and shehas her own dance studio.
And I got to go to see theChristmas show a couple times.
It's amazing.
I mean, I just sit there, crythe whole time, and it's like, it's.
(28:00):
To me, it's the best feeling.
If I.
If I feel a little bitdepressed about something, I am excited.
I am so excited because foryears I was lit.
I literally could not feel.
Because I just feel like thatsome of the messages I got were.
And my parents were lovely, but.
And they just brought thingsdown from their generation to me,
that it was okay to be upset, that.
(28:22):
But just a little bit.
To be a little bit angry, butnot a lot angry, you know?
And so a lot of things, a lotof emotions were discouraged.
And I just started.
And then if I.
If I expressed them, thenthere was a penalty, but they were
just literally.
I mean, I love my mom and dad.
I don't have them anymore, buthere on this earth with me.
(28:46):
But they were doing the bestthey can with how they were raised.
And so, yeah, and so it tookme years to let go enough and go
through this kind ofspiritual, kind of transformational
process, holistic thing that Icould cry and if I was.
If something was touching my heart.
(29:06):
So I understand what you'resaying completely.
I will admit to the fact thatI did cry at my youngest daughter's
college graduation.
I did cry just a little bit atmy daughter's.
My oldest daughter's wedding.
Okay, a little bit.
Had a little, you know, a little.
Something in my eye.
(29:26):
Got a little something in my eye.
But, yeah, it's difficult sometimes.
And occasionally I.
I get to a point where my wifewill come in and go, just cry.
You know, I'll be watchingsomething and it's heartwarming,
and she'll see my.
My eyes will tear up just alittle bit, and she's going, it's
okay.
You can just let it go.
(29:47):
But I still have a hard timedoing that.
See, and it's probably becomesthe same thing, what you just said.
The intergenerational aspectof my life, growing up in the dysfunctional
family that I did, you know,it was in me having to be.
Grow up, theoretically.
Quotes, air quotes.
You know, I had to grow up, bethe man of the house.
It, you know, it was ingrainedupon me at an early age.
(30:10):
And I think that we all shouldtake the opportunity to kind of learn
to explore those feelings,which I've been doing lately.
So it's one of those things.
I appreciate what you dobecause you're allowing individuals
to kind of open up within themselves.
And the heart alchemy,allowing your heart to feel.
You can't see my Italian handsmoving everywhere.
(30:33):
Allow them to feel, you know,and understand that that's normal.
It's okay to do that.
And.
And so I appreciate that.
It's amazing.
You mentioned somethingearlier about soul readings.
We both kind of mentioned it.
Can we touch upon how soulreadings kind of pertaining to this?
I've had a lot ofconversations with mediums and psychics
(30:54):
and, you know, metaphysicalindividuals that we talk about where
your souls come from and where.
Where it may be going and so forth.
How do you do a soul readingand how does that incorporate into
helping people heal?
Well, I.
What I do is I heart connectwith the person I'm doing a reading
with.
(31:14):
I use psychic tarot oraclecards, and I use them as a mentoring
tool.
So I infuse the cards with alot, a lot of love, and they'll pick
a certain number of cards.
I'll pick a certain a certainnumber of cards, and I'll lay them
all out, and then I'll tellthem the opportunities that are available
to them, the challenges theyhave, how to move around them, give
(31:36):
them some tips and tools fortheir life.
I like for them to record thesession, if they would, if they.
I always encourage thatbecause then they can use the reading,
maybe for the next threemonths to really guide them moving
forward.
And I guess the reason I lovethem as a mentoring tool is that
as adults and I have donereadings for some kids, but the parent
(31:56):
has to be there, is that we're.
We're visual, we can be audio,we can be kinesthetic, and we can
be a bunch of different things.
And if we sort of bring all ofthose together in one place.
When you're getting, like areading and it's.
It's mentoring is helping you.
You know, you're holding aspace of love.
You're helping.
You're acknowledging wheresomeone's at.
(32:17):
There's no judgment.
You're.
You're there to help themacknowledge their progress and how
they can move forward and whatthey need to let go of and how to
do it.
It can be a really profoundexperience for somebody.
I know that.
I really love it.
And it's just a great, youknow, tool to connect with someone's
heart and have them have thatfeeling as well.
(32:38):
Because, you know, you're.
You're holding this bigjudgment, free space of unconditional
love.
They're in your energy field,but they're not.
And not allowing them to jumpin your energy field.
And I just, I just love it.
And most people that getreadings love it because it's a.
It's a different way to be mentored.
We're.
We're both contributingbecause we're both picking cards
and we're both, you know, canhave a conversation together.
(33:01):
And I think that part oftransformation within ourselves,
we didn't understand that wedo have a mind, body, soul connection.
That mind, body, soul needs tobe able to connect in such a way
that it will allow us theopportunity to accept what needs
to be accepted and moveforward with what and let go of things
in our past that don't belongwith us anymore.
(33:22):
You had received a look at mynotes here really quick.
You had received a diploma intransformational holistic counseling
from Australia.
Did you travel to Australia todo that?
I.
A lot of the people I.
The coaching school I went tois in Australia, and I still am a.
(33:42):
I'm a professional certifiedcoach with the International Coaching
Federation.
And I help to train them in apart of their training, you know,
when they're like on theground doing coaching with each other.
And so I have a bunch offriends from that and I have a bunch
of friends the who wentthrough the transformational holistic
counseling.
So I usually go to Australialike once a year, hang out with my
(34:02):
friends, like minded souls andit's really lovely.
I love Perth, Australia on thewest coast of Australia.
And yeah, I do that.
And so it's a businesspleasure kind of thing and it's a
very heart opening part of my life.
How important is it for us torecognize that we.
(34:23):
This might be the wrongquestion, but I'll ask it anyway.
And if, if it isn't, then wecan rephrase it.
But how important is it for usto understand that we have an opportunity
to transform into somethingthat we or someone that we really
want to be or should be.
I think it's really importantbecause I work with people, train
(34:46):
their inner critic into aninner coach and one of the first
things that I share with themis that blah blah, blah, blah blah
is that most of us, we installthat we put it up there for a reason.
When we were younger and wedidn't have the tools and skills
to protect ourselves becauselots of parents and lots of society
(35:07):
says that it's better to behard on you now.
So if someone's mean to youlater, it won't hurt as much.
So I'm going to be harder andrefer on you now.
And then we take that on.
And so for example, using thatas an example since we installed
it in our body and systems asa mode to protect ourselves supposedly.
But we now we want to be morekind and caring and, and bring out
(35:30):
that inner coach who championsus and, and helps us to step forward
with more grace, ease and flow.
We can, we can practice thetools to let that old stuff go and
to dissolve it because we putit in our bodies and systems questions
to begin with.
So of course we can transformand go.
What happens is thoughoftentimes like the soul, the spirit
(35:54):
will be really excited about anew way that we can practice experiencing
more light and love.
But the human bit of ourselveswants to sit on the table and eat
potato chips and wants nothingto do with transformation.
And we have to be the lovingadult and say you're coming along
for the ride, my friend.
I'm sorry that I put you inthe driver's seat.
(36:15):
A lot of times you didn'tbelong there.
You're going in the backseat now.
I love you.
I'm going to take care of you.
But we're moving forward inthis direction that's going to be
better for both of us.
I.
I like sitting on the coucheating potato chips.
You don't have to totally givethat up in order to transform your
inner critic into an inner coach.
(36:36):
That's a good thing.
I don't do too many potatochips, but just the right amount,
you know, that's part of my soul.
Needs them.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
It's interesting.
I think the opportunities thatwe have been presented in life, in
our journey here on earth,that allow us to be able to move
(36:59):
forward and understand we allhave a purpose.
And that purpose sometimesneed to.
We.
We need to address thatpurpose in a way that we can help
others move forward as well.
You do that in what you'redoing now.
I think you've transformedyour own self, your own identity
into something that is a veryprogressive part of other people's
(37:19):
lives, giving them opportunityto heal.
With everything that youcombine together, I think it's a
brilliant opportunity for usto be able to improve ourselves.
We.
What should we as individuals recognize?
Maybe the top three or fourthings that we should recognize within
ourselves to show us that weprobably should seek out your services
(37:41):
or somebody like you.
Well, I feel like I know oneof the things that I used to be is
that I was really, really, asan attorney, was really stressed
and wound up and I had a.
The woman that facilitated theclass was transformational Hol and
counseling allow allowed herto counsel me, but I wasn't a very
(38:03):
good, I don't know, student orwhatever of it.
I didn't take on that, youknow, the advice that she gave me
of how I could let go of thatstress and have a lot more ease,
grace and flow in my life.
So if we're stressed, ifyou're stressed out, if you feel
overwhelmed, if you feelbrought burnt out, if.
If life just feels difficultand you know that there's a place
(38:26):
inside of you that's ready andwilling to, like, open up to more
courage and joy, more grace,ease and flow.
This kind of stuff is reallyhelpful because it's not like we
have anything wrong withourselves that we can't exist in
the world and continue to move forward.
But why not move forward withmore joy?
You know, why not move forwardwith more gray season flow?
(38:48):
Why not move forward it with amore of an open heart and more comp.
Compassion and less of thatold paradigm that we have to suffer
to be holy.
It is really not kind.
And it's really not a part ofwho we have to be anymore.
So it's not like there'ssomething wrong with us that we have
to do it, but it's somethingthat we want to do for ourselves
so that we can have a clearer,brighter, more joyful life and that
(39:12):
we can have a more full cupwith love and not feel run out of
that all the time.
Time.
And that is going to enrichthe lives of the people around us
as well.
I think that's brilliant.
Do you feel that earlier wekind of mentioned this and touched
upon it a little bit.
The things we talk about, whatbrings forward from our ancestors
(39:34):
and dropped into our laps, soto speak.
I call it intergenerational trauma.
I was introduced to that terma couple years ago on a conversation
here on this show, actually.
And the more I startedunderstanding intergenerational trauma
and what society and culturehas pressured or put people through
in order to get who we are,shape us as to who we are.
(39:57):
Do you think that we, associety and culture have kind of
started opening up a littlebit to the fact that there is an
intergenerational trauma andthings that we need to let go of
that our ancestors havedropped in our laps that don't work
for us any longer?
Absolutely.
I do work with itenergetically, and I'm happy to share
(40:18):
how I do it.
Because there are.
Anytime you have aninteraction with somebody, anytime
someone thinks of you or thinkyou think of them, anytime you have
a reaction to something,energetic connections are established.
And so we can cut thoseenergetic connections like.
Like having a beautiful goldencylinder come around our bodies and
just gently cut any energeticconnections that are not about love
(40:40):
and have them healed with hisgolden healing light.
But our genetic and our sexualcords, connections and attachments
while the other person isalive cannot be cut.
But we can work with what'scalled the universal violet flame,
which is just a violet lightor a violet flame.
It's the.
The.
The energy.
It's the seventh ray of swords.
(41:00):
It's the energy of the new ageof Aquarius.
Aquarius Part of it.
And we can just ask it toflood through all of our energetic
connections that cannot be cut.
And it'll flood through all ofthose genetic cords, connections
and attachments, all thepeople that you've had sex with,
whether it's full on text orjust that kind of energetic zing
between two people.
And it'll transmute andtransform those connections into
(41:22):
love.
You have to do it on a regularbasis that way.
And you can also, becausewe're in a physical body, we're also
energetically connected to themind of humanity.
Now, I don't want to beconnected with the mind of all men
and all women on this planet.
That would be.
I would be flat on the ground.
So I also asked the violetflame to flood all of my energetic
(41:44):
connections with the psyche ofhumanity, psyche of all men and women.
So because I'm in a physicalbody, I'm connected with them.
And so, yes, it is there.
But energetically working withthe violet flame and cord cutting,
as I've mentioned, can cutenergetic cords, you know, on a daily
basis.
It's something we have to do,like we're brushing our teeth, so
we're cutting those energetic connections.
(42:06):
The loving ones will always remain.
And we can flood thoseenergetic connections that cannot
be cut with thistransformational energy.
The other person or partiesare benefited, and so are we.
So that we're not.
If they.
If, you know, you're marriedand your spouse or your sister or
your nephew has a bad hair dayor gets really, really upset about
(42:28):
something, we don'tautomatically feel horrible because
we're genetically corded with them.
And if with.
With our kids, we'reenergetically connected through all
of our chakras.
So, you know, it's reallyimportant to flood all that with
a violet flame, and it helpsthem as well.
That positive way of workingaround that.
(42:49):
I like that.
I think that, you know, again,I do agree with you.
I think that we're allconnected as humanity.
We are all connected together,all from the same source.
And I think that thatopportunity that you just presented
gives us kind of a pause, Iguess, a little bit, so that we can
reflect within ourselves.
(43:09):
Intergenerational trauma is a.
Is.
I have come to find out in.
Intergenerational trauma cancause many, many issues, and that
it does have to be dealt within such a way that you can really
release it in a positive way.
And it sounds like you have apathway towards that.
Well, let me just clarify here.
This can help withintergenerational trauma.
(43:31):
That does not mean that youmight not need to have the assistance
of a professional to talk itout and to completely let it go.
You know, Know if you workwith cohort cord cutting in the violet
flame and there's otherenergetic tools I teach in my weekly
spiritual classes, and it helps.
That's great.
But sometimes it goes sodeeply, you know, and that we really
(43:54):
need an extra party's help.
And it wouldn't be like the coaching.
It might be beyond thecoaching or mentoring that I do,
it might be counseling.
So I'm not saying that noone's ever going to need that.
I'm just saying.
Saying that it's a big helpfor everybody to cleanse and clear
those energetic connectionsthat cannot be cut.
Which I agree.
I think that's.
I agree.
Well, let's talk a little bitabout how somebody can get a hold
(44:16):
of you in connect with yourcoaching from the heart.
I love this coaching from the heart.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So my website is JewelConsultancy J E w e l consultancy.com
just1l or you can always textme if you're in the US or Canada.
720-936-2634.
(44:40):
That's the fastest way toreach me.
You can always mention this show.
So I know how you found me.
So I do.
I'm a coach, I'm a mentor andI do soul readings which are a part
of the mentoring.
I do help people to bringbalance and harmony into their lives.
I do help people to transmuteand transform into love, fear based
(45:01):
patterning and programming andother things that are holding them
back and teach them how tocleanse and clear themselves and
fill themselves with more love.
And we do that with soulreadings as well.
It's a part of mentoring.
So I love to do all that.
If that interests you, you canalways text me or you can just text
me and ask me a questionbecause you saw me in the show and
a question came up for you,for you.
(45:22):
That's fantastic.
And I'll make sure that's inthe show notes as well so that they
have an easy access to atleast clicking that and finding your
website and the your contactinformation will be on the web page
as well.
This has been fantastic.
Arlene.
I really appreciate whatyou've shared with us.
Your journey, your experience,your wisdom, your heart.
(45:43):
So thank you very much forbeing on the show.
I appreciate it.
This is one more thing beforeyou go.
So before we go, do you haveany words of wisdom?
I guess I would focus.
I love to share with peoplethe focus of this like this trinity,
kindness, patience and tolerance.
So those are sacred qualities.
And I encourage you to bekind, to be patient and to be tolerant
(46:07):
with yourself and that willhelp you to be kind, patient and
tolerant with your life andother people in your life.
And that will help to fillyour cup up with love so you'll have
more love to share thatoverflow with others.
Brilliant, brilliant words of wisdom.
I appreciate those.
I'm going to write them alldown and stick them on my computer.
Remind me every day.
(46:27):
Remind me every day again.
Arlene, thank you.
It's been a great.
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you very much for comingon the show.
I really appreciate meetingyou and having this conversation.
I hope we can have another onedown the road.
That would be lovely.
Well, again, I will make surethat everything is in the show notes
so that people are an easy wayto contact you.
And one more Thing before youall go.
(46:49):
Have a great day.
Have a great week, and thankyou for being here.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of.
One More Thing before you go.
Check out ourwebsite@beforeyougopodcast.com youm
can find us as well assubscribe to the program and rate
us on your favorite podcastlistening platform.
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