September 10, 2025 • 45 mins
What if the voice in your head isn’t yours? What if the story you’ve been living… was written by someone else? The notion that the voice residing within our minds may not be our own is a compelling premise that warrants profound exploration. In this episode, we engage in a thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Albert Bramante, a distinguished psychologist and hypnotist, whose expertise lies at the convergence of psychology, performance, and personal transformation.
We delve into the intricate dynamics of self-perception, uncovering how external narratives can shape our identities, and we elucidate methods by which individuals can reclaim their authentic voices and liberate themselves from self-imposed limitations. Through our conversation, we unravel critical insights regarding the interplay between visibility, vulnerability, and the subconscious narratives that often dictate our lives. This discourse serves not merely as an examination of mindset but as a masterclass in the art of rewriting one’s own reality, urging listeners to rise above the scripts that constrain their potential.
Takeaways:
- The inner voice that we often hear is not truly our own, as it is influenced by external messages from parents and society.
- Confronting one's invisible scripts is essential for personal transformation and reclaiming one's voice and identity.
- Hypnosis and narrative psychology provide valuable insights into understanding and reshaping personal identity.
- Visibility and vulnerability are interconnected; embracing vulnerability can lead to greater authenticity and courage.
- Healing often resembles performance, where authenticity plays a crucial role in the process of self-discovery.
- The journey to rise above the script involves challenging ingrained fears and reframing negative thought patterns.
Listen on Apple, Spotify or your favorite listenng platform, find us on YouTube. Please Lik, Follow, Subcscribe and leave us a Review it helos us to bring you the best in conversation.
Find everything "One More Thing" here: https://taplink.cc/beforeyougopodcast
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, one more thing before yougo. What if the voice in your head
isn't actually yours? And whatif the story you've been living was
written by someone else? Inthis week's episode of one more thing
before you go, I sit down withDr. Albert Bravante. He's a psychologist,
a hypnotist, a former talentagent, and author of Rise above the
script. From the casting roomto the classroom, Albert has seen
(00:23):
how fear of being in sceneimposter syndrome and subconscious
programming sabotage even themost talented individuals. But he
also knows how to break free,and that's why he's here. This isn't
just a conversation aboutmindset. It's a masterclass in liberation,
a guide to reclaiming yourvoice and rewriting your reality.
(00:56):
This is going to be a greatconversation. I'm excited for today's
show as we unpack a number ofthings. Why the inner voice isn't
always your own and how toreclaim it. How visibility and vulnerability
are deeply intertwined. Whathypnosis and narrative psychology
reveal about identity and whyhealing often looks like performance,
and how to make it authentic.We're going to show you how to rise
(01:18):
above the script, the onethat's been holding you back. Welcome
to the show. Dr. Albert Bramante.
Thank you so much for havingme. I'm really happy to be here.
What a unique opportunity thatyou present. You've had a diverse
life and journey up to this point.
(01:40):
Yes, I have. I wear a coupledifferent hats, but I love what I
do. I love working withactors. I love working with performers,
and I also love teaching. Ilove teaching psychology to students.
And, you know, I've workedwith thousands of students over the
years and hundreds of actorsover the years. I really enjoy and
(02:01):
I feel really privileged to dowhat I can do, and.
It'S outstanding. Yeah, I. I'man actor. I had been an actor. My
daughter's an actor currently.So I respect what you do from those
points, so I appreciate that.But we have a unique opportunity
(02:22):
here to inspire and motivatepeople from many standpoints, whether
you're an actor or just ahuman being looking for some help.
But I like to start at thebeginning. Where'd you grow up?
So I born and raised. I stilllive in New Jersey. I live in a county
area. I've been there myentire life. I work in New York City,
(02:45):
so I'm very close to the city.And I also spend a lot of time in
North Carolina andspecifically in the Outer Banks area.
So we, our family has askeddown there too. So I spend about
three or four months out ofthe year in a town called Cal Beach,
North Carolina. But my heartis in. In New Jersey, New York area.
(03:10):
From there. What was yourfamily like? Do you have brothers,
sisters?
Yes, I have a relatively largefamily. I'm the youngest of five.
I have three brothers and onesister. They're again, much older
than I am. And everyone'sstill alive, thankfully. One of the
things about what makes it asinteresting is I come from a very
(03:33):
interesting family. We're alldifferent, you know, like, especially.
I know I'm different than thembecause they're. My older brothers
were very much into athleticsand sports, you know, growing up.
They were football, baseball.My father even was a coach at one
point. My oldest brother was.Was a football coach for many, many
(03:54):
years. Very good one, too. Andso that's sort of like where I've
been, you know, doing, in asense, is I've been, you know, or
growing up around sports. Now,ironically, I am not into sports
in any capacity, but I respectthose that do. And I was the thinker
(04:15):
of the family, the reader ofthe family then, you know, almost
like the nerd of the family. Ilove books still, too, and I did
as a child. So while everyoneelse preferred to play sports, I
prefer to read. That was likemy outlet growing up. And I think
(04:35):
that really served me well.Obviously, you know, going to school
all these years and being aPhD and all that, the books really
helped me out.
So I would imagine so, yeah, Icome from a. Well, if you look at
my whole family, my mother hadeight other brothers and sisters,
so she was one of nine. Sofamily gatherings. There was like
(04:59):
a bazillion people show upbecause, you know, they showed up,
then their kids showed up, andtheir kids. Kids showed up. And,
you know, we would encompass.We could encompass a football field.
There were so many peoplecoming through. So I. I can relate
to that point as well. I'venever been a big sports guy myself
either. I played a littlefootball in high school, but it didn't
(05:21):
resonate with me as much. Butso I understand that too. I know
you've lived many lives. Aprofessor, a talent agent, a hypnotist.
We have that in common. By theway, what. What thread connects them
all? What. How do you connect?
Well, I connect. I can connectall. You know, really all of them.
(05:42):
And the psychology andhypnotist part is, you know, I went
to school training to be aclinical psychologist. That was like,
my goal for so many years. Andwhen. That's. When I started out
in my PhD program, I startedout in a clinical psychology PhD
program and that's really whatI wanted to do. But towards the end
(06:05):
of my coursework it reallywasn't working for me anymore. Resonating
with me the sickness anddisease model of really what encompasses
a clinical point of view thatreally wasn't resonating or sitting
well with me. But also anotherthing that happened, I was just hired
as a full time professor as Iwas finishing my coursework. Now
(06:29):
to receive a PhD in clinicalpsychology you need to complete a
750 hour practicum and a 2000hour internship on top of that. So
you're talking at least 18months of full time combined practicum
internship opportunity. Andbeing that I was hired full time
(06:51):
to be a college professor andI was still working my talent agent
at the same time I didn't havethe time to devote to that to search
for an internship, land oneand then juggle everything else.
It would have been impossible.So I came to the decision, really
important decision was thatI'm just going to finish the PhD
(07:12):
in education and researchorientated. So I would still have
the PhD by my name, I wouldstill be a psychologist by training,
but just not a one practice inclinical therapy. Now during also
that time I discoveredhypnosis and nlp and initially I
(07:35):
was reading an article inPsychology Today and I was looking
at classifieds and if they,you know, take this video class to,
to learn about hypnosis. And Iliked the fact that it was very quick,
more rapidly healing and itworks with the subconscious mind.
So after taking like thatinitial video intro I decided I was
(07:56):
going to enroll in acertification program. And so I did
in New York. It was a threemonth 150 hour program and I received
a certification of theclinical endotherapist. And then
I took some othercertifications after that in hypnosis
(08:20):
and tipto therapy and then Ialso in neuro linguistic programming.
So what I feel, to answer kindof your question, has it all combined?
I feel that hypnosis and NLPis much more rapid when it comes
to therapy. The treatment andthe protocol sometimes get to the
(08:42):
root cause at a much morefaster rate than a traditional psychologist,
at least in my opinion. Now Ido feel they can work hand in hand.
Well together they can, youknow, it's a good partnership because
also a lot of techniques oftherapy and NLP were rooted in psychology
and psychotherapy. So that'swhere I feel like it can bind together.
Now how did this relate to Myacting, you know, talent agent experience.
(09:07):
So when I was really launchedmy talent agency, the one issue that
kept coming up with performerswas self sabotage and shooting themselves
in the foot. And what thatmeans, what that looks like in, in
this capacity would be notshowing up for auditions, being late
to appointments, not preparingfully for the audition, really being
(09:30):
their own worst enemy. And Ialso noticed this with students.
You know, the students I wasteaching was, I was meeting a lot
of really talented studentsthat were not really applying themselves
as they should have because alot of them were very bright, a lot
of them very intelligent. So.But they didn't see it that way and
so they weren't really trying.And, and when it came time to do
(09:53):
my dissertation, which is a,the equivalent of a master thesis,
but much, much more involvedfor the PhD program, it's like our
original, the, like thedefining capstone moment for a PhD
is a dissertation. So I did mydissertation on a why did actors
self sabotage? Which laterturned out to be a foundation for
(10:17):
my book Rise above the Scriptbecause. So I felt like this really
combines everything togetherbecause my, my psychology training,
my work with actors is toreally understand why they were self
sabotaging what was reallyhappening here. And you know, that
(10:38):
led me to a whole rabbit hole.
Yeah, I could imagine. Yeah.You say the inner voice isn't always
yours. Do you think that, thatwhat we just talked about in that
self sabotage, that impostersyndrome, those kind of effects,
do you think that's anothervoice that doesn't belong to us or
(10:59):
how does that work, the inner voice?
Well, the inner voice, weinternalize the inner voice from
messages received from ourparents, from our teachers, our society
around us and they all combinetogether to form the, our inner voice.
So the voice inside our head.So even innocent remarks and most
(11:22):
of the time. Well, I hopefullynot. We don't feel parents putting
down their children directly,but you get like offhand remarks
saying like you're notathletics is not your strong suit.
You know, Jimmy or Jock John.You're, you're, you're, you're smart,
but you're not brilliant,you're not a genius. You know, you're
(11:42):
not going to be a rocketscientist. And the remarks that really
are, might not sound blatantlybad start to create a self consciousness
within us, an impostersyndrome within us. So it's combination
of our own experiences andespecially with actors because no
(12:04):
matter how talented an actoris, the amount of no's that they're
going to receive is going tobe much greater. Than the amount
of yets. It's like,unfortunately, the stacks are not
in the actor's favor becauseit's a very overly saturated market,
Whether it's New York orHollywood, Atlanta, there's so many
(12:25):
actors and only a limitednumber of roles, a limited number
of jobs that are available atany given moment. So there's going
to be a lot of no. No matterhow talented an actor is. And after
a while, the nose start towear, wear down, wears down after
a bit because especially whenyou go to the audition room, you're
(12:45):
bearing your heart and soulinto that, and you're really making
yourself vulnerable. And thento get no feedback. What makes it
really tough is very rarelyyou get told no directly. Very often
it's just you don't hearanything, which makes it a little
bit more challenging. Idefinitely could imagine for a lot
(13:08):
of actors is, you know, whenyou walk out of audition, whenever
you're from it again, andusually no news means we didn't get
the job. So that can. Thosecombination of things can make things
very challenging. It can makeyou start. And make the actors start
doubting, am I doing the rightthing? Do I really need to be here?
(13:28):
And then I think in yoursituation, you know that there's
a great thing that, you know,you already have a background in
the art, so you understand alot of actors have family members
who have no understanding ofthe art. So they'll, you know, they
may start hearing messagelike, you know, you've been trying
this acting thing for sixmonths. You didn't really land anything.
(13:52):
You think, maybe I should justquit and go, you know, go get a real
job, you know, and that theycan hear this from their families,
or, like, they'll go to familyhome for Thanksgiving. And everyone's
like, so you're an actor. Sowhat have you been in? You know,
where do I see you from? Or myfavorite is, oh, you have an agent
(14:13):
or hired you in the nextSteven Spielberg movie, Have your
agent called Steven Spielberg.
A real job is you go toschool, you become an accountant,
you become a lawyer, youbecome a doctor, you become somebody
like this, not an actor. And Ithink subconsciously, I can see it
played a factor in my wifewalking away from that business,
(14:34):
actually, when she wanted todo it so much, because the generational
trauma, intergenerationaltrauma affected her to a point where
she kind of said, I, I don'thave enough faith in myself to go
do this. She did the samething. He did the same thing. When
Caitlyn said, I'm an actor. Wesent Caitlyn to New York to, to train
(14:59):
as an actor, and Caitlin wasgetting work. And David said, you
shouldn't have wasted yourmoney doing that. You should have
sent her to college to besomebody else. A lawyer, an accountant,
a doctor, you name it. And youknow, even when we'd have family
dinners, he'd do the samething. So I'm just validating what
you're saying from, from aninternal perspective. You know, David
(15:19):
would constantly go, when areyou going to get an eagle? And that's
great. When are you going toget a real job? You know, it was
like, you know, Caitlyn was.She had the support of her parents
in such a way that it overrodethat. And she continues to work in
the industry. So it's abeneficial. So from those perspectives,
(15:40):
you know, how do you thinksubconscious beliefs about visibility
and worthiness shape ourbehavior in regard to that? Because
that, that compounding of thegenerational trauma or those around
us that continuously berate usfor trying to improve ourselves or
to get a job, like in theacting industry.
Yeah, well, I think there's awhole need of validation there, and
(16:02):
that's. A lot of actors arelooking for that, you know, the validation,
the applause, the standingovations, all of that stuff that's
so important, you know, andwhen you don't get the jobs, you
don't get the audition. Well,you're not going to get that standing
ovation, you're not going toget the applause, and you're not
going to get all of thatstuff. And so that can add up over
(16:23):
time. And so you get tostruggle with that. And then of course,
if you're juggling with afamily that's giving you pressure
from, again, as in the casefrom her grandfather, giving under
pressure of, you know, gettinga real job after a while, that can
add up, you know, and, youknow, because she's working really
(16:45):
hard, and that's one thing alot of people don't. May not really
understand about actors is howincredibly hard they work. You know,
even though they may, you maynot see necessary returns from that,
but they're working incrediblyhard, even if it's just trying to
secure the next audition oreven just evolving with their training.
(17:10):
So actors are workingincredibly hard, and a lot of times
they're not getting thesupport or validation that they need.
And then of course, thatreally fuels the feeling of unworthiness.
Now, some could argue it, andI don't necessarily know if I agree
(17:30):
with this line of thinkingthat some people who, you know, the
only people that really needreason people go into acting is because
they have unmet validationneeds. I'm not entirely sure I believe
or agree with that fully, butthere's also that school of thought
too. So you're already cominginto the business with a deficit,
(17:52):
you know, again, needing theexternal validation. And then now
you're not getting it not onlyfrom career wise, but now from your
own family of origin, which isagain, pressuring to get a real job
and, you know, being a lawyeror doctor. And that alone could just
(18:15):
aid over time to, you know, alot of the struggles. And that's
why we see a lot of actorshaving mental health struggles or
substance abuse issues withsubstance abuse, because there's
no other outlet for them toturn to.
In a sense, I agree with that.I think that, you know, and, and
that can happen to anybody,even if you're not in the industry.
(18:38):
We always have theseexpectations from our parents and
our grandparents and ourfamily, how we're supposed to be
and how we. They think we'resupposed to act and be. So, you know,
from. Even from an actor'sperspective, I think that we're all
kind of. They're all. They'remaybe living out common scripts.
You see people living withoutrealizing it. They're playing a part
(19:02):
to please everybody within thefamily, please everybody within their
immediate environment. Youknow, they're having to play that
out within them.
Right.
So they don't get theirfeelings hurt or so they don't get,
you know, the, the jarringreality from somebody to say, hey,
you're not doing the rightthing or something like that. Do
you see that as a common thread?
(19:24):
Yeah, I mean, the validation,you're doing the right thing, you're
in the wrong profession. Get areal job and you know, again, getting
the no's. I mean, I, I've.Some actors have gotten 100 no's
before they get their firstjob. So it's like a lot of times
they give up easily becauseit's like they don't. They're not
getting no's. They're gettingno's on the gets to the base. They're
(19:44):
not getting that yet. So.
And I think that's where inlife, I mean, we can take those lessons
in life in general. I think,you know, we get told no. Not just
in the acting business, youget told no many times you can be
looking for a job, especiallyin today's market, you know, today's
market, the job. Trying tofind a job is like tough. You know,
(20:06):
it Is a situation that I knowthat people out there who are, who
are looking for work that arefrustrated for the same. No. Because
the market is inundated in thesame way. So a lot of what you're
saying I think applies to eventhose individuals. You don't have
to be an actor to understand,understand these perspectives or
(20:29):
to understand how you have theability to redefine and rewrite your
script, your inner script andyour ability to move forward in such
a way. You know, I'veinvestigated a lot of suicides for
example, and a lot of peoplewho are on substance abuse and that
were alcoholics and drugaddicts and so forth. And a lot of
(20:51):
that was trying to mask thepain of failure, quote, unquote,
not saying, I'm not sayingthat they failed. They felt that
they were a failure, they feltthat they didn't succeed. I know
that actors, you've beenmentioning it throughout the talk
here, you get a no, you get ano. You get to know, you get to know
you. You have to strive andpush and have the tenacity to get
(21:12):
the yes. And when you don'tget that, I think that they kind
of have to mask that pain.
Yeah. And a lot of times it's,it's may not. It really has a lot
to do with what they receive.What they receive is painful and
all of that. And you know,sometimes we see suicides or we see
(21:34):
people spy onto drugs andalcohol and we may think that their
life, if we look at it from anoutsider, oh, they got it, they have
it all. Why are they doingthat? Because it's not about what
they have, it's how they feel.And even a lot of working actors
have sometimes substanceabuse, you know, problems. And as
you said, most of the timeanybody who's a hep of substance
(21:58):
abuser is doing it to, to numbor mask something. It's not a recreational
thing that says I'm just goingto do some run. You know, some people
may get addicted that way.Yes. But most of the time it's to
cover up something that is,they're lacking inside. And again,
it could be just not havingthat support system. And then of
(22:20):
course you have even the wellknown actors struggle because they're,
they may be, you know, wellknown, well regarded in the industry,
but there's a struggle that alot of these actors face. Even the
ones that are a listers, youknow, the ones that are really awful
names, they struggled becausepeople want to know them because
(22:44):
of their Personas or what theycan do, not them as people. And I
think even Robin Williams saidthis, rest in peace. But when he
was alive, the one strugglethat he often faced was, yes, he
had an entourage around him,but it was because of the characters
he played. He's like, I wishpeople were around me because of
(23:07):
is for me, you know, if I wasRobin Williams the plumber, Robin
Williams the, you know, thesalesman or whatever, would people
want to be around him? Mostlikely these people wouldn't even
know him. Wouldn't even, youknow, paint a mind. So a lot of times
these actors are sometimesdealing with all this pressure because
(23:28):
people want to be around themfor their own validation or the expert,
and not because of who theyare as people.
And I think that goes down theline. I mean, Robert Williams was
a tragic loss just because ofthe talent that he had, I think,
and, and the ability to bringlaughter to just about anything.
So he had a gift for bringinglaughter. Which, you know, I, I don't
(23:49):
look him as, as a comedian. Ilooked at him as an individual that
can make you feel better aboutyourself. And we all know he was
struggling deep down inside.But then you've got other high profile
ones that we mentioned,Anthony Bourdain and Burrell, who
just committed suicide. Andyou think, she would have it. She
(24:12):
would have it all. And theywere. Dan, you think he would have
it all?
He was traveling the world amillionaire. He had the money. But
money did not buy happiness.And that's what a lot of people don't,
may not understand or resonatewith. I mean, yes, money does help,
but it doesn't buy happiness.It's not going to cure you. It's
not going. Because if you'restruggling now, and even if you get
(24:35):
money now, you just have newthings you're going to be struggling
with. You know, it's not, it'snot going to be the answer to everything.
So. But yeah, there's thatfundamental issue that really has
to be dealt with. Andeverybody's unique. So I can't, you
know, I'm not going to sayparticularly what was going on, but
even Heath Ledger is anotherone we can add to the list. You know,
(24:57):
it was right after the DarkKnight came out that he got kind
of went downhill and OD'd. Andsome were saying that were around
in his circle, so he had areally hard time with that, performing
that role.
What do you think we can learnfrom actors about authenticity and
emotional truth? Because. Andwe in life do the same thing. We
(25:18):
go through these ups anddowns, we'll go through A period
of time, whether it berelationship wise or work wise or
just being a human, you know,we go there. So I guess the question
would be what can we learnfrom actors about authenticity and
emotional truth?
What we can learn especiallywith is a power vulnerability, you
(25:42):
know, because actors are doingthat all the time. And a lot of times
this why a lot of actors arewhat we call empaths, which means
they have a strong componentfor empathy and to connect with people
and to connect with theircharacters. And most of the time
they'll connect with thecharacters that have the most empathy
for it. The one thing that'sreally important is self care and
(26:05):
also the ability to detach theboundaries is really important. So
the one thing that, you know,we've been trying, at least in the
adult community, is how can wehelp actors when the role is over
to adjust, you know, to nottake their work home with them? You
(26:27):
know, in a sense the role isover, let it go because it's again
it's, it can be very hard todo this. A great strategy, even with
dealing with the, you know,the ups and downs of, in the middle
of looking for acting is tohave other passions know another
interest, not just acting. Sohave, you know, whether it's volunteerism,
(26:48):
advocacy, fitness or othertypes of business opportunities that
can be, that can serve, youknow, as a, a buffer or an outlet.
You know, several of my, myacting clients are working real estate.
They, some of them are fitnesstrainers, some of them work in catering,
(27:08):
some work and teaching. So itreally helps that other profession,
even though I think is theirfull time passion and interest. But
they're doing something to paythe bills and they're doing something
that helps them give them somesort of outlet during a downtime.
(27:29):
So that would be one thing Iwould definitely say is important
is to have another interest.What we can also do I think.
Is.
Start teaching resiliency. AndI wish that in most of the acting
training programs, theconservatories, the BFAs or the MSA
(27:51):
programs that are theater oran acting based should have classes
on business class, evenclasses on emotional intelligence
and awareness, because that'spart of it. It's like how do you
adjust to not working formonths at a time? Because that is
going to happen for almost allactors is you're going to have downtime,
(28:14):
you're going to have pointswhere you're going to be working
a lot and then there's goingto be points where there may be a
long period of time whennothing may happen that may mean
there Are jobs available? Sowhat we need to do is to have some
sort of a game plan. Whetherit's obviously, maybe financially,
(28:34):
of course, but alsoemotionally, what can you do in between
that time? So the importantthing is to keep yourself active
and find other ways to dothings. Do live streams, do pot,
you know, host a podcast, hostdo, you know, start a YouTube channel,
or do something that can fuelyour creativity while you're waiting
(29:00):
for the acting roles to comein. And just to keep practicing,
do and keep grounded. Because,like, with any muscle, if you're
talking to an athlete or. Or amusician, practice is really important.
So what. In 2020, when we hadthe pandemic, you know, most of the
industry went to a standstillfor a few months when nothing was
(29:23):
happening. And so one of thethings a lot of the big, you know,
I think we need to stepped up,we did start doing virtual challenges,
monologue challenges, scenechallenges, different sprints and
all just to kind of use thatworkout to keep the acting muscle
(29:43):
alive. And we did the samething during 2023 when we had the
writers Guildening and thestag after Senior Actors Guild strike.
That really put a lot of workon the standstill for a while. So
the important thing is to keepthat muscle active. And that's why,
again, record your. You know,an actor can record themselves with
(30:06):
scenes and doing play anddoing monologues, keep themselves
practice and engaged and that.
And I think that applies tonot only actors, but it applies to
people in life too. I think weall need to learn how to change subconscious
patterns. And I think we allfall into a rut. I mean, that's just
(30:28):
common layman language. We allfall into a rut sometimes. And I
think that that is to adetriment to ourselves at times.
Sometimes it's okay just to gointo a rut and do nothing. But at
the same time, I think we alsohave. Have to kind of rewrite those
subconscious patterns. I thinkhypnosis is a wonderful opportunity
for us to kind of access andrewrite subconscious patterns in
(30:52):
not just, not just in acting,but in life in general. We can change
the way that we think aboutthings and approach things, whether
it be overeating or addictionsor alcohol.
Or just not being triggered,you know, that's all. Exactly. Not
responding to a trigger.Because that's usually the biggest
thing. Cause most of us, andthis is with any profession, we get
(31:14):
into this routine day in andday out. We do the same thing over
and over again. You know, yoube. Get. You know, especially if
we work a 9 to 5 job, you getup in the morning, you, you rush
to work, you, you set intraffic, you start cursing in traffic.
And then you get to work, you,you stressed out of the day, come
home, make dinner, clean thehouse, do whatever other chores,
(31:37):
sit down with our family. Andthen the next day it's like rinse
and repeat. And then we dothis for several years. Of course
we're going to get into a rut,and of course we're going to get
into a routine. So one of thethings a great practical tool to
rewire, really doesn't requireformal necessity is do something
different. You know, changethings up from time to time. You
(32:02):
know, do things, step outsideyour comfort zone a little bit, try
out new things. And, and thatwas one way to kind of like get yourself
out of that rut. Also, thelanguage that we use and, and one
of the most powerful, I guess,tools that hypnosis uses is language.
And the power of language isimmensely, you know, both on a conscious
(32:28):
and subconscious level. Solanguage patterns that we utilize
is important with both notjust communicating with, you know,
each other, but it's foritself intrapersonal communication.
So the one thing, what's foractors is like, don't ever introduce
yourself or refer to yourselfas a starving artist or a struggling
(32:51):
artist. Now, for some reason,and I don't know, I'm not sure why
this happened, but there wetend to romanticize the idea of starving
artists that become like anideal, like a badge of honor, which
I'm not sure how, why or how.And when you start talking yourself,
referring to yourself as astarving artist or a struggling actor,
(33:13):
you're already operating on amodel of deficit. You're already
working from a place ofinadequacy already without even beginning.
So what we. You can reframethat and say, I'm a professional
working actor. Because whetheryou, whether you performed, even
if it's a play, a theater, ablack box theater, and there were
(33:36):
a hundred, you know, seats,you people paid money for a ticket.
You are a working actor. Sothat is something to refriend. Now
you're a professional workingactor. You would study this and I
would always say you were,you're working actor. Now some people
could say, well, I'm not, I'mnot getting paid. Well, no, but are
(33:58):
you working every day to getauditions? Yes. Well, you say you're
a working actor. So if werefrain, reframe that, and that's
a big outre word we use in thehypnotic NLP community to reframing
which is just sort of likeanother way of just looking at things.
Can you look at it this way?And then we'll say the word reframe.
For those that may not befamiliar with that, reframing is
(34:20):
just like changing aperspective, in a sense. So why don't
you look at it this way? Sothe words we use are extremely empower,
are extremely powerful. Thisis why, again, you know, very popular
sayings, you know, that we'velearned in elementary schools, like,
you know, never use the word Ican't. Because if you can't do something,
(34:44):
you're automatically tellingyour subconscious that you're not
going to do it. And yoursubconscious mind, which is the driving
force of a personality, islike a child that'll do what you
tell it to do once theconscious mind is out of the way.
So it'll hear like, if yousay, I'm a starving artist, okay,
gotta be from a starvingmindset. So we need to start reframing
(35:08):
or rewiring the beliefs thatwe're a part of and hearing and internalizing.
Well, and I think I agree withyou. I think that language plays
a role in shaping our identityand our success in many forms. And
that could be in life ingeneral. Language plays a role in
that. You know, that's why youget the father or the mother that
(35:30):
consistently says, you're notdoing the right thing. You should
be doing this job. You shouldbe going nine to five. You should
have a, you know, one house,picket fence. What I said earlier,
that this is what you'resupposed to be doing. And pretty
soon you start going, well,I'm a failure because I'm not doing
that. And it delves upon usand pushes us down, I think. And
(35:54):
you have hypnosis, you havethe opportunity for hypnosis to help
you redefine that language tohelp us reshape our identity and
our success. And I think it'sa wonderful opportunity to be able
to do that. What does it meanwhen I say this? Hopefully this is
(36:15):
something I had seen that youhad written. What does it mean to
rise above the script? And howcan someone begin that journey today
to rise above that script, rise.
Above the automatic thoughtpatterns that our faces are like,
or automatic negative thought,you know, which we can. For what
some people refer to as theterm. And so automatic negative thoughts,
(36:38):
which means being able toreframe that by. By changing our
perspective on things. Soagain, the whole thing of the struggling
actor. No, I'm a working actornow. You're changing your internal
scripts and you know, I reallyuse the metaphor on script because,
you know, the book is reallygeared towards actors. So that's,
(37:01):
you know, a concrete thing tounderstand. But all of us are working
on scripts no matter what,what who we are as human beings.
Rocker on script right now.And what we want to do is rewrite
that to a point where itdoesn't have to be that. And so it
(37:21):
might be challenging ourdistortions or challenging our generalizations
or our deletions because a lotof times it might be, you know, we
might start thinking, I can'tdo anything right, you mean anything.
Or, you know, you'll sometimessay, I wasn't really cut off by this.
Who told you that? You know,tell me who said that. And a lot
(37:46):
of times we really can't saywho did because it's our inner voice
talking, our inner critic. Soit's somewhat changing that to a
bit rising above fear even,you know, because fear is a major
factor too. It's a majordriver. Now one of the things I look
(38:07):
at with fear is fear is aprotective mechanism. It helps keep
us safe. So there is a lot ofvalue in fear because that's what
really keeps us alive. If wehad no fear, our species wouldn't
be alive in this day and age.We wouldn't have made it because
we would have been subject, wewould have been right in the middle
(38:27):
of danger all the time. Sofear protects us now. It can sometimes
go be overprotective. And thethings that's our brain, you know,
the key thing is our brain,our brain still hasn't really evolved
from the hunter gatheringdays. Now of course there were real
life dangers during that time.You had to avoid getting killed by
(38:48):
a saber tooth tiger, anothertribe, other wild animals that were
constantly, you know, becausewar attacking humans. So we had to
constantly be on guard. Now inmodern society, well, not that we
don't have these dangersanymore, but our brain still perceives
(39:10):
a little bit of change as thatdanger that we might have experienced,
you know, a thousand yearsago. So it activates the fight or
flight mode. And thentherefore I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to stay in a safe,comfortable environment. So Rise
(39:31):
of a Script is also involvedchallenging those fears, changing
those fears and even lookingwhat fear is. You know, some could
say that fear, it reallystands for false evidence appearing
real. Which means that, youknow, we have to challenge that fear,
that it's not real real, it'sperceived. So, and I'm sure your
(39:52):
listeners can identify is whenyou have Situations where you fear
the worst case scenario. Youknow, you're so worried about how
things can go wrong that let'stake this situation happened to you
in the past that you were soconcerned or worried about that was
going to go so wrong, youthought was going to go so wrong.
(40:12):
What most people will findthat when the actual situation happens,
it's not nearly as bad as weperceived or imagined it to be. But
fear ticks over. So we need torise above the fear too and really
confront that.
So I think it's a uniqueapproach to having to rewire ourselves.
(40:37):
Someone feels stuck in a storythat no longer fits was the first
step towards rewriting that.Because obviously you just mentioned
the thing about having tounderstand that we can rewrite our
own script, we can change themethodology, we can change what our
subconscious is saying to usthat's holding us down, holding us
(40:57):
back and keeping us frommoving forward. So what would be
the first step somebody would take?
Well, the first is takingaction is doing something that's
a little uncomfortable, likeripping the band aid off a little
bit. Um, so that might mean,you know, going live on social media,
giving a public speak, youknow, presentation, doing something
(41:21):
that makes you uncomfortableinitially, a little uncomfortable.
Over time it'll change, startchanging the, the capacity, like,
well, I can do this, look whatI can do, right? And then your lives
can change. But it's takingthose small actions because a lot
of people are sitting thereexpecting, expecting, wanting their
life to change, but are notdoing anything, you know, to do that.
(41:46):
So if you want your world tochange, you've got to start process.
So that means doing somethingdifferent to move forward. Take that
step, take that step. That'swhat's really important so that your
life can change and move inthat direction.
Yeah, that's brilliant,brilliant way of moving people forward.
(42:08):
I know that you have a lot ofresources and the ability and opportunity
for people to come in andchange their lives. In regard to
this, whether you're an actoror a human being that's looking to
move and change in their life,can you tell us how to reach you
and what you have to offer?
Well, definitely go to mywebsite, Albertpromonte.com, which
(42:30):
is under construction. But youcan go to my. You can also check
out my book on Amazon, Riseabove the Script. It's is available
both as a book and as anaudiobook. And you can also go to
my website. Right now I have alot of recordings available, short,
like brief hypnotic sessionswhere you can listen over and over
(42:52):
Again, and, you know, with therear headphones, and they're on such
a variety of topics. I haveover 250 available that you can choose
from public speaking toleadership to addictions. So just
go to albertbermonti.com I'malso going to be launching a coaching
program, so also there'll be achance in the next few weeks to book
(43:15):
a call with me. I'd love tohave a conversation with you.
Outstanding. I'll make surethose are in the show notes. Everybody
has an easy way to click andfind you very easily. So, Albert,
thank you very much for beingpart of here. Thank you very much
for sharing your wisdom, yourexperience, and the opportunity for
people to improve their lives.Because I think this what we've talked
(43:37):
about today, whether you're anactor again or just a human being
looking for some help, thisapplies to each and every one of
you. So I appreciate you.
Yeah.
And again, I'll make sureeverything's in the show notes and
people to reach out andconnect with you because I think
that we have a uniqueopportunity for you to be able to
(44:01):
improve your lives.
Absolutely. Yes. Thank you.And thank you for having me on.
Absolutely. And one more thingbefore you all go. We carry scripts.
Sometimes we write ourselves.Others were handed to us by family,
by culture, by fear, as wejust spoke about. But as Dr. Albert
Bramante reminded us today,those scripts aren't permanent. They're
(44:22):
not prophecy. They're justpages. And pages can be rewritten.
If you've ever felt stuck in arole that no longer fits, if the
voice in your head sounds morelike an echo than your own truth,
this is your invitation torise above the script, to reclaim
your voice, to step into thespotlight not as a character, but
as your truest self. Becausehealing isn't always quiet. Sometimes
(44:43):
it's standing ovation for theperson you've just become. So that's
where we need to go. Albert,you've got the opportunity to help
people, so I hope they reach out.
Thank you again.
This is a wrap for today'sepisode. I hope you found it. Inspiration.
I found motivation and a newperspective to take with you. If
(45:04):
you enjoyed this conversation,be sure to, like, subscribe and follow
us. It really helps uscontinue bringing incredible stories
and insights. And if you wantto watch this episode, head over
to YouTube and catch the fullvideo version. And until next time,
have a great day and evenbetter week. And thank you for joining
us on one more thing beforeyou go. And remember, stay curious,
(45:24):
stay open and keep rewritingyour story.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of One More Thing before
youe Go. Check out ourwebsite@beforeyougopodcast.com youm
can find us as well assubscribe to the program and rate
us on your favorite podcastlistening platform.
Hey, one more thing before yougo. What if the voice in your head
isn't actually yours? And whatif the story you've been living was
written by someone else? Inthis week's episode of one more thing
before you go, I sit down withDr. Albert Bravante. He's a psychologist,
a hypnotist, a former talentagent, and author of Rise above the
script. From the casting roomto the classroom, Albert has seen
(00:23):
how fear of being in sceneimposter syndrome and subconscious
programming sabotage even themost talented individuals. But he
also knows how to break free,and that's why he's here. This isn't
just a conversation aboutmindset. It's a masterclass in liberation,
a guide to reclaiming yourvoice and rewriting your reality.
(00:56):
This is going to be a greatconversation. I'm excited for today's
show as we unpack a number ofthings. Why the inner voice isn't
always your own and how toreclaim it. How visibility and vulnerability
are deeply intertwined. Whathypnosis and narrative psychology
reveal about identity and whyhealing often looks like performance,
and how to make it authentic.We're going to show you how to rise
(01:18):
above the script, the onethat's been holding you back. Welcome
to the show. Dr. Albert Bramante.
Thank you so much for havingme. I'm really happy to be here.
What a unique opportunity thatyou present. You've had a diverse
life and journey up to this point.
(01:40):
Yes, I have. I wear a coupledifferent hats, but I love what I
do. I love working withactors. I love working with performers,
and I also love teaching. Ilove teaching psychology to students.
And, you know, I've workedwith thousands of students over the
years and hundreds of actorsover the years. I really enjoy and
(02:01):
I feel really privileged to dowhat I can do, and.
It'S outstanding. Yeah, I. I'man actor. I had been an actor. My
daughter's an actor currently.So I respect what you do from those
points, so I appreciate that.But we have a unique opportunity
(02:22):
here to inspire and motivatepeople from many standpoints, whether
you're an actor or just ahuman being looking for some help.
But I like to start at thebeginning. Where'd you grow up?
So I born and raised. I stilllive in New Jersey. I live in a county
area. I've been there myentire life. I work in New York City,
(02:45):
so I'm very close to the city.And I also spend a lot of time in
North Carolina andspecifically in the Outer Banks area.
So we, our family has askeddown there too. So I spend about
three or four months out ofthe year in a town called Cal Beach,
North Carolina. But my heartis in. In New Jersey, New York area.
(03:10):
From there. What was yourfamily like? Do you have brothers,
sisters?
Yes, I have a relatively largefamily. I'm the youngest of five.
I have three brothers and onesister. They're again, much older
than I am. And everyone'sstill alive, thankfully. One of the
things about what makes it asinteresting is I come from a very
(03:33):
interesting family. We're alldifferent, you know, like, especially.
I know I'm different than thembecause they're. My older brothers
were very much into athleticsand sports, you know, growing up.
They were football, baseball.My father even was a coach at one
point. My oldest brother was.Was a football coach for many, many
(03:54):
years. Very good one, too. Andso that's sort of like where I've
been, you know, doing, in asense, is I've been, you know, or
growing up around sports. Now,ironically, I am not into sports
in any capacity, but I respectthose that do. And I was the thinker
(04:15):
of the family, the reader ofthe family then, you know, almost
like the nerd of the family. Ilove books still, too, and I did
as a child. So while everyoneelse preferred to play sports, I
prefer to read. That was likemy outlet growing up. And I think
(04:35):
that really served me well.Obviously, you know, going to school
all these years and being aPhD and all that, the books really
helped me out.
So I would imagine so, yeah, Icome from a. Well, if you look at
my whole family, my mother hadeight other brothers and sisters,
so she was one of nine. Sofamily gatherings. There was like
(04:59):
a bazillion people show upbecause, you know, they showed up,
then their kids showed up, andtheir kids. Kids showed up. And,
you know, we would encompass.We could encompass a football field.
There were so many peoplecoming through. So I. I can relate
to that point as well. I'venever been a big sports guy myself
either. I played a littlefootball in high school, but it didn't
(05:21):
resonate with me as much. Butso I understand that too. I know
you've lived many lives. Aprofessor, a talent agent, a hypnotist.
We have that in common. By theway, what. What thread connects them
all? What. How do you connect?
Well, I connect. I can connectall. You know, really all of them.
(05:42):
And the psychology andhypnotist part is, you know, I went
to school training to be aclinical psychologist. That was like,
my goal for so many years. Andwhen. That's. When I started out
in my PhD program, I startedout in a clinical psychology PhD
program and that's really whatI wanted to do. But towards the end
(06:05):
of my coursework it reallywasn't working for me anymore. Resonating
with me the sickness anddisease model of really what encompasses
a clinical point of view thatreally wasn't resonating or sitting
well with me. But also anotherthing that happened, I was just hired
as a full time professor as Iwas finishing my coursework. Now
(06:29):
to receive a PhD in clinicalpsychology you need to complete a
750 hour practicum and a 2000hour internship on top of that. So
you're talking at least 18months of full time combined practicum
internship opportunity. Andbeing that I was hired full time
(06:51):
to be a college professor andI was still working my talent agent
at the same time I didn't havethe time to devote to that to search
for an internship, land oneand then juggle everything else.
It would have been impossible.So I came to the decision, really
important decision was thatI'm just going to finish the PhD
(07:12):
in education and researchorientated. So I would still have
the PhD by my name, I wouldstill be a psychologist by training,
but just not a one practice inclinical therapy. Now during also
that time I discoveredhypnosis and nlp and initially I
(07:35):
was reading an article inPsychology Today and I was looking
at classifieds and if they,you know, take this video class to,
to learn about hypnosis. And Iliked the fact that it was very quick,
more rapidly healing and itworks with the subconscious mind.
So after taking like thatinitial video intro I decided I was
(07:56):
going to enroll in acertification program. And so I did
in New York. It was a threemonth 150 hour program and I received
a certification of theclinical endotherapist. And then
I took some othercertifications after that in hypnosis
(08:20):
and tipto therapy and then Ialso in neuro linguistic programming.
So what I feel, to answer kindof your question, has it all combined?
I feel that hypnosis and NLPis much more rapid when it comes
to therapy. The treatment andthe protocol sometimes get to the
(08:42):
root cause at a much morefaster rate than a traditional psychologist,
at least in my opinion. Now Ido feel they can work hand in hand.
Well together they can, youknow, it's a good partnership because
also a lot of techniques oftherapy and NLP were rooted in psychology
and psychotherapy. So that'swhere I feel like it can bind together.
Now how did this relate to Myacting, you know, talent agent experience.
(09:07):
So when I was really launchedmy talent agency, the one issue that
kept coming up with performerswas self sabotage and shooting themselves
in the foot. And what thatmeans, what that looks like in, in
this capacity would be notshowing up for auditions, being late
to appointments, not preparingfully for the audition, really being
(09:30):
their own worst enemy. And Ialso noticed this with students.
You know, the students I wasteaching was, I was meeting a lot
of really talented studentsthat were not really applying themselves
as they should have because alot of them were very bright, a lot
of them very intelligent. So.But they didn't see it that way and
so they weren't really trying.And, and when it came time to do
(09:53):
my dissertation, which is a,the equivalent of a master thesis,
but much, much more involvedfor the PhD program, it's like our
original, the, like thedefining capstone moment for a PhD
is a dissertation. So I did mydissertation on a why did actors
self sabotage? Which laterturned out to be a foundation for
(10:17):
my book Rise above the Scriptbecause. So I felt like this really
combines everything togetherbecause my, my psychology training,
my work with actors is toreally understand why they were self
sabotaging what was reallyhappening here. And you know, that
(10:38):
led me to a whole rabbit hole.
Yeah, I could imagine. Yeah.You say the inner voice isn't always
yours. Do you think that, thatwhat we just talked about in that
self sabotage, that impostersyndrome, those kind of effects,
do you think that's anothervoice that doesn't belong to us or
(10:59):
how does that work, the inner voice?
Well, the inner voice, weinternalize the inner voice from
messages received from ourparents, from our teachers, our society
around us and they all combinetogether to form the, our inner voice.
So the voice inside our head.So even innocent remarks and most
(11:22):
of the time. Well, I hopefullynot. We don't feel parents putting
down their children directly,but you get like offhand remarks
saying like you're notathletics is not your strong suit.
You know, Jimmy or Jock John.You're, you're, you're, you're smart,
but you're not brilliant,you're not a genius. You know, you're
(11:42):
not going to be a rocketscientist. And the remarks that really
are, might not sound blatantlybad start to create a self consciousness
within us, an impostersyndrome within us. So it's combination
of our own experiences andespecially with actors because no
(12:04):
matter how talented an actoris, the amount of no's that they're
going to receive is going tobe much greater. Than the amount
of yets. It's like,unfortunately, the stacks are not
in the actor's favor becauseit's a very overly saturated market,
Whether it's New York orHollywood, Atlanta, there's so many
(12:25):
actors and only a limitednumber of roles, a limited number
of jobs that are available atany given moment. So there's going
to be a lot of no. No matterhow talented an actor is. And after
a while, the nose start towear, wear down, wears down after
a bit because especially whenyou go to the audition room, you're
(12:45):
bearing your heart and soulinto that, and you're really making
yourself vulnerable. And thento get no feedback. What makes it
really tough is very rarelyyou get told no directly. Very often
it's just you don't hearanything, which makes it a little
bit more challenging. Idefinitely could imagine for a lot
(13:08):
of actors is, you know, whenyou walk out of audition, whenever
you're from it again, andusually no news means we didn't get
the job. So that can. Thosecombination of things can make things
very challenging. It can makeyou start. And make the actors start
doubting, am I doing the rightthing? Do I really need to be here?
(13:28):
And then I think in yoursituation, you know that there's
a great thing that, you know,you already have a background in
the art, so you understand alot of actors have family members
who have no understanding ofthe art. So they'll, you know, they
may start hearing messagelike, you know, you've been trying
this acting thing for sixmonths. You didn't really land anything.
(13:52):
You think, maybe I should justquit and go, you know, go get a real
job, you know, and that theycan hear this from their families,
or, like, they'll go to familyhome for Thanksgiving. And everyone's
like, so you're an actor. Sowhat have you been in? You know,
where do I see you from? Or myfavorite is, oh, you have an agent
(14:13):
or hired you in the nextSteven Spielberg movie, Have your
agent called Steven Spielberg.
A real job is you go toschool, you become an accountant,
you become a lawyer, youbecome a doctor, you become somebody
like this, not an actor. And Ithink subconsciously, I can see it
played a factor in my wifewalking away from that business,
(14:34):
actually, when she wanted todo it so much, because the generational
trauma, intergenerationaltrauma affected her to a point where
she kind of said, I, I don'thave enough faith in myself to go
do this. She did the samething. He did the same thing. When
Caitlyn said, I'm an actor. Wesent Caitlyn to New York to, to train
(14:59):
as an actor, and Caitlin wasgetting work. And David said, you
shouldn't have wasted yourmoney doing that. You should have
sent her to college to besomebody else. A lawyer, an accountant,
a doctor, you name it. And youknow, even when we'd have family
dinners, he'd do the samething. So I'm just validating what
you're saying from, from aninternal perspective. You know, David
(15:19):
would constantly go, when areyou going to get an eagle? And that's
great. When are you going toget a real job? You know, it was
like, you know, Caitlyn was.She had the support of her parents
in such a way that it overrodethat. And she continues to work in
the industry. So it's abeneficial. So from those perspectives,
(15:40):
you know, how do you thinksubconscious beliefs about visibility
and worthiness shape ourbehavior in regard to that? Because
that, that compounding of thegenerational trauma or those around
us that continuously berate usfor trying to improve ourselves or
to get a job, like in theacting industry.
Yeah, well, I think there's awhole need of validation there, and
(16:02):
that's. A lot of actors arelooking for that, you know, the validation,
the applause, the standingovations, all of that stuff that's
so important, you know, andwhen you don't get the jobs, you
don't get the audition. Well,you're not going to get that standing
ovation, you're not going toget the applause, and you're not
going to get all of thatstuff. And so that can add up over
(16:23):
time. And so you get tostruggle with that. And then of course,
if you're juggling with afamily that's giving you pressure
from, again, as in the casefrom her grandfather, giving under
pressure of, you know, gettinga real job after a while, that can
add up, you know, and, youknow, because she's working really
(16:45):
hard, and that's one thing alot of people don't. May not really
understand about actors is howincredibly hard they work. You know,
even though they may, you maynot see necessary returns from that,
but they're working incrediblyhard, even if it's just trying to
secure the next audition oreven just evolving with their training.
(17:10):
So actors are workingincredibly hard, and a lot of times
they're not getting thesupport or validation that they need.
And then of course, thatreally fuels the feeling of unworthiness.
Now, some could argue it, andI don't necessarily know if I agree
(17:30):
with this line of thinkingthat some people who, you know, the
only people that really needreason people go into acting is because
they have unmet validationneeds. I'm not entirely sure I believe
or agree with that fully, butthere's also that school of thought
too. So you're already cominginto the business with a deficit,
(17:52):
you know, again, needing theexternal validation. And then now
you're not getting it not onlyfrom career wise, but now from your
own family of origin, which isagain, pressuring to get a real job
and, you know, being a lawyeror doctor. And that alone could just
(18:15):
aid over time to, you know, alot of the struggles. And that's
why we see a lot of actorshaving mental health struggles or
substance abuse issues withsubstance abuse, because there's
no other outlet for them toturn to.
In a sense, I agree with that.I think that, you know, and, and
that can happen to anybody,even if you're not in the industry.
(18:38):
We always have theseexpectations from our parents and
our grandparents and ourfamily, how we're supposed to be
and how we. They think we'resupposed to act and be. So, you know,
from. Even from an actor'sperspective, I think that we're all
kind of. They're all. They'remaybe living out common scripts.
You see people living withoutrealizing it. They're playing a part
(19:02):
to please everybody within thefamily, please everybody within their
immediate environment. Youknow, they're having to play that
out within them.
Right.
So they don't get theirfeelings hurt or so they don't get,
you know, the, the jarringreality from somebody to say, hey,
you're not doing the rightthing or something like that. Do
you see that as a common thread?
(19:24):
Yeah, I mean, the validation,you're doing the right thing, you're
in the wrong profession. Get areal job and you know, again, getting
the no's. I mean, I, I've.Some actors have gotten 100 no's
before they get their firstjob. So it's like a lot of times
they give up easily becauseit's like they don't. They're not
getting no's. They're gettingno's on the gets to the base. They're
(19:44):
not getting that yet. So.
And I think that's where inlife, I mean, we can take those lessons
in life in general. I think,you know, we get told no. Not just
in the acting business, youget told no many times you can be
looking for a job, especiallyin today's market, you know, today's
market, the job. Trying tofind a job is like tough. You know,
(20:06):
it Is a situation that I knowthat people out there who are, who
are looking for work that arefrustrated for the same. No. Because
the market is inundated in thesame way. So a lot of what you're
saying I think applies to eventhose individuals. You don't have
to be an actor to understand,understand these perspectives or
(20:29):
to understand how you have theability to redefine and rewrite your
script, your inner script andyour ability to move forward in such
a way. You know, I'veinvestigated a lot of suicides for
example, and a lot of peoplewho are on substance abuse and that
were alcoholics and drugaddicts and so forth. And a lot of
(20:51):
that was trying to mask thepain of failure, quote, unquote,
not saying, I'm not sayingthat they failed. They felt that
they were a failure, they feltthat they didn't succeed. I know
that actors, you've beenmentioning it throughout the talk
here, you get a no, you get ano. You get to know, you get to know
you. You have to strive andpush and have the tenacity to get
(21:12):
the yes. And when you don'tget that, I think that they kind
of have to mask that pain.
Yeah. And a lot of times it's,it's may not. It really has a lot
to do with what they receive.What they receive is painful and
all of that. And you know,sometimes we see suicides or we see
(21:34):
people spy onto drugs andalcohol and we may think that their
life, if we look at it from anoutsider, oh, they got it, they have
it all. Why are they doingthat? Because it's not about what
they have, it's how they feel.And even a lot of working actors
have sometimes substanceabuse, you know, problems. And as
you said, most of the timeanybody who's a hep of substance
(21:58):
abuser is doing it to, to numbor mask something. It's not a recreational
thing that says I'm just goingto do some run. You know, some people
may get addicted that way.Yes. But most of the time it's to
cover up something that is,they're lacking inside. And again,
it could be just not havingthat support system. And then of
(22:20):
course you have even the wellknown actors struggle because they're,
they may be, you know, wellknown, well regarded in the industry,
but there's a struggle that alot of these actors face. Even the
ones that are a listers, youknow, the ones that are really awful
names, they struggled becausepeople want to know them because
(22:44):
of their Personas or what theycan do, not them as people. And I
think even Robin Williams saidthis, rest in peace. But when he
was alive, the one strugglethat he often faced was, yes, he
had an entourage around him,but it was because of the characters
he played. He's like, I wishpeople were around me because of
(23:07):
is for me, you know, if I wasRobin Williams the plumber, Robin
Williams the, you know, thesalesman or whatever, would people
want to be around him? Mostlikely these people wouldn't even
know him. Wouldn't even, youknow, paint a mind. So a lot of times
these actors are sometimesdealing with all this pressure because
(23:28):
people want to be around themfor their own validation or the expert,
and not because of who theyare as people.
And I think that goes down theline. I mean, Robert Williams was
a tragic loss just because ofthe talent that he had, I think,
and, and the ability to bringlaughter to just about anything.
So he had a gift for bringinglaughter. Which, you know, I, I don't
(23:49):
look him as, as a comedian. Ilooked at him as an individual that
can make you feel better aboutyourself. And we all know he was
struggling deep down inside.But then you've got other high profile
ones that we mentioned,Anthony Bourdain and Burrell, who
just committed suicide. Andyou think, she would have it. She
(24:12):
would have it all. And theywere. Dan, you think he would have
it all?
He was traveling the world amillionaire. He had the money. But
money did not buy happiness.And that's what a lot of people don't,
may not understand or resonatewith. I mean, yes, money does help,
but it doesn't buy happiness.It's not going to cure you. It's
not going. Because if you'restruggling now, and even if you get
(24:35):
money now, you just have newthings you're going to be struggling
with. You know, it's not, it'snot going to be the answer to everything.
So. But yeah, there's thatfundamental issue that really has
to be dealt with. Andeverybody's unique. So I can't, you
know, I'm not going to sayparticularly what was going on, but
even Heath Ledger is anotherone we can add to the list. You know,
(24:57):
it was right after the DarkKnight came out that he got kind
of went downhill and OD'd. Andsome were saying that were around
in his circle, so he had areally hard time with that, performing
that role.
What do you think we can learnfrom actors about authenticity and
emotional truth? Because. Andwe in life do the same thing. We
(25:18):
go through these ups anddowns, we'll go through A period
of time, whether it berelationship wise or work wise or
just being a human, you know,we go there. So I guess the question
would be what can we learnfrom actors about authenticity and
emotional truth?
What we can learn especiallywith is a power vulnerability, you
(25:42):
know, because actors are doingthat all the time. And a lot of times
this why a lot of actors arewhat we call empaths, which means
they have a strong componentfor empathy and to connect with people
and to connect with theircharacters. And most of the time
they'll connect with thecharacters that have the most empathy
for it. The one thing that'sreally important is self care and
(26:05):
also the ability to detach theboundaries is really important. So
the one thing that, you know,we've been trying, at least in the
adult community, is how can wehelp actors when the role is over
to adjust, you know, to nottake their work home with them? You
(26:27):
know, in a sense the role isover, let it go because it's again
it's, it can be very hard todo this. A great strategy, even with
dealing with the, you know,the ups and downs of, in the middle
of looking for acting is tohave other passions know another
interest, not just acting. Sohave, you know, whether it's volunteerism,
(26:48):
advocacy, fitness or othertypes of business opportunities that
can be, that can serve, youknow, as a, a buffer or an outlet.
You know, several of my, myacting clients are working real estate.
They, some of them are fitnesstrainers, some of them work in catering,
(27:08):
some work and teaching. So itreally helps that other profession,
even though I think is theirfull time passion and interest. But
they're doing something to paythe bills and they're doing something
that helps them give them somesort of outlet during a downtime.
(27:29):
So that would be one thing Iwould definitely say is important
is to have another interest.What we can also do I think.
Is.
Start teaching resiliency. AndI wish that in most of the acting
training programs, theconservatories, the BFAs or the MSA
(27:51):
programs that are theater oran acting based should have classes
on business class, evenclasses on emotional intelligence
and awareness, because that'spart of it. It's like how do you
adjust to not working formonths at a time? Because that is
going to happen for almost allactors is you're going to have downtime,
(28:14):
you're going to have pointswhere you're going to be working
a lot and then there's goingto be points where there may be a
long period of time whennothing may happen that may mean
there Are jobs available? Sowhat we need to do is to have some
sort of a game plan. Whetherit's obviously, maybe financially,
(28:34):
of course, but alsoemotionally, what can you do in between
that time? So the importantthing is to keep yourself active
and find other ways to dothings. Do live streams, do pot,
you know, host a podcast, hostdo, you know, start a YouTube channel,
or do something that can fuelyour creativity while you're waiting
(29:00):
for the acting roles to comein. And just to keep practicing,
do and keep grounded. Because,like, with any muscle, if you're
talking to an athlete or. Or amusician, practice is really important.
So what. In 2020, when we hadthe pandemic, you know, most of the
industry went to a standstillfor a few months when nothing was
(29:23):
happening. And so one of thethings a lot of the big, you know,
I think we need to stepped up,we did start doing virtual challenges,
monologue challenges, scenechallenges, different sprints and
all just to kind of use thatworkout to keep the acting muscle
(29:43):
alive. And we did the samething during 2023 when we had the
writers Guildening and thestag after Senior Actors Guild strike.
That really put a lot of workon the standstill for a while. So
the important thing is to keepthat muscle active. And that's why,
again, record your. You know,an actor can record themselves with
(30:06):
scenes and doing play anddoing monologues, keep themselves
practice and engaged and that.
And I think that applies tonot only actors, but it applies to
people in life too. I think weall need to learn how to change subconscious
patterns. And I think we allfall into a rut. I mean, that's just
(30:28):
common layman language. We allfall into a rut sometimes. And I
think that that is to adetriment to ourselves at times.
Sometimes it's okay just to gointo a rut and do nothing. But at
the same time, I think we alsohave. Have to kind of rewrite those
subconscious patterns. I thinkhypnosis is a wonderful opportunity
for us to kind of access andrewrite subconscious patterns in
(30:52):
not just, not just in acting,but in life in general. We can change
the way that we think aboutthings and approach things, whether
it be overeating or addictionsor alcohol.
Or just not being triggered,you know, that's all. Exactly. Not
responding to a trigger.Because that's usually the biggest
thing. Cause most of us, andthis is with any profession, we get
(31:14):
into this routine day in andday out. We do the same thing over
and over again. You know, yoube. Get. You know, especially if
we work a 9 to 5 job, you getup in the morning, you, you rush
to work, you, you set intraffic, you start cursing in traffic.
And then you get to work, you,you stressed out of the day, come
home, make dinner, clean thehouse, do whatever other chores,
(31:37):
sit down with our family. Andthen the next day it's like rinse
and repeat. And then we dothis for several years. Of course
we're going to get into a rut,and of course we're going to get
into a routine. So one of thethings a great practical tool to
rewire, really doesn't requireformal necessity is do something
different. You know, changethings up from time to time. You
(32:02):
know, do things, step outsideyour comfort zone a little bit, try
out new things. And, and thatwas one way to kind of like get yourself
out of that rut. Also, thelanguage that we use and, and one
of the most powerful, I guess,tools that hypnosis uses is language.
And the power of language isimmensely, you know, both on a conscious
(32:28):
and subconscious level. Solanguage patterns that we utilize
is important with both notjust communicating with, you know,
each other, but it's foritself intrapersonal communication.
So the one thing, what's foractors is like, don't ever introduce
yourself or refer to yourselfas a starving artist or a struggling
(32:51):
artist. Now, for some reason,and I don't know, I'm not sure why
this happened, but there wetend to romanticize the idea of starving
artists that become like anideal, like a badge of honor, which
I'm not sure how, why or how.And when you start talking yourself,
referring to yourself as astarving artist or a struggling actor,
(33:13):
you're already operating on amodel of deficit. You're already
working from a place ofinadequacy already without even beginning.
So what we. You can reframethat and say, I'm a professional
working actor. Because whetheryou, whether you performed, even
if it's a play, a theater, ablack box theater, and there were
(33:36):
a hundred, you know, seats,you people paid money for a ticket.
You are a working actor. Sothat is something to refriend. Now
you're a professional workingactor. You would study this and I
would always say you were,you're working actor. Now some people
could say, well, I'm not, I'mnot getting paid. Well, no, but are
(33:58):
you working every day to getauditions? Yes. Well, you say you're
a working actor. So if werefrain, reframe that, and that's
a big outre word we use in thehypnotic NLP community to reframing
which is just sort of likeanother way of just looking at things.
Can you look at it this way?And then we'll say the word reframe.
For those that may not befamiliar with that, reframing is
(34:20):
just like changing aperspective, in a sense. So why don't
you look at it this way? Sothe words we use are extremely empower,
are extremely powerful. Thisis why, again, you know, very popular
sayings, you know, that we'velearned in elementary schools, like,
you know, never use the word Ican't. Because if you can't do something,
(34:44):
you're automatically tellingyour subconscious that you're not
going to do it. And yoursubconscious mind, which is the driving
force of a personality, islike a child that'll do what you
tell it to do once theconscious mind is out of the way.
So it'll hear like, if yousay, I'm a starving artist, okay,
gotta be from a starvingmindset. So we need to start reframing
(35:08):
or rewiring the beliefs thatwe're a part of and hearing and internalizing.
Well, and I think I agree withyou. I think that language plays
a role in shaping our identityand our success in many forms. And
that could be in life ingeneral. Language plays a role in
that. You know, that's why youget the father or the mother that
(35:30):
consistently says, you're notdoing the right thing. You should
be doing this job. You shouldbe going nine to five. You should
have a, you know, one house,picket fence. What I said earlier,
that this is what you'resupposed to be doing. And pretty
soon you start going, well,I'm a failure because I'm not doing
that. And it delves upon usand pushes us down, I think. And
(35:54):
you have hypnosis, you havethe opportunity for hypnosis to help
you redefine that language tohelp us reshape our identity and
our success. And I think it'sa wonderful opportunity to be able
to do that. What does it meanwhen I say this? Hopefully this is
(36:15):
something I had seen that youhad written. What does it mean to
rise above the script? And howcan someone begin that journey today
to rise above that script, rise.
Above the automatic thoughtpatterns that our faces are like,
or automatic negative thought,you know, which we can. For what
some people refer to as theterm. And so automatic negative thoughts,
(36:38):
which means being able toreframe that by. By changing our
perspective on things. Soagain, the whole thing of the struggling
actor. No, I'm a working actornow. You're changing your internal
scripts and you know, I reallyuse the metaphor on script because,
you know, the book is reallygeared towards actors. So that's,
(37:01):
you know, a concrete thing tounderstand. But all of us are working
on scripts no matter what,what who we are as human beings.
Rocker on script right now.And what we want to do is rewrite
that to a point where itdoesn't have to be that. And so it
(37:21):
might be challenging ourdistortions or challenging our generalizations
or our deletions because a lotof times it might be, you know, we
might start thinking, I can'tdo anything right, you mean anything.
Or, you know, you'll sometimessay, I wasn't really cut off by this.
Who told you that? You know,tell me who said that. And a lot
(37:46):
of times we really can't saywho did because it's our inner voice
talking, our inner critic. Soit's somewhat changing that to a
bit rising above fear even,you know, because fear is a major
factor too. It's a majordriver. Now one of the things I look
(38:07):
at with fear is fear is aprotective mechanism. It helps keep
us safe. So there is a lot ofvalue in fear because that's what
really keeps us alive. If wehad no fear, our species wouldn't
be alive in this day and age.We wouldn't have made it because
we would have been subject, wewould have been right in the middle
(38:27):
of danger all the time. Sofear protects us now. It can sometimes
go be overprotective. And thethings that's our brain, you know,
the key thing is our brain,our brain still hasn't really evolved
from the hunter gatheringdays. Now of course there were real
life dangers during that time.You had to avoid getting killed by
(38:48):
a saber tooth tiger, anothertribe, other wild animals that were
constantly, you know, becausewar attacking humans. So we had to
constantly be on guard. Now inmodern society, well, not that we
don't have these dangersanymore, but our brain still perceives
(39:10):
a little bit of change as thatdanger that we might have experienced,
you know, a thousand yearsago. So it activates the fight or
flight mode. And thentherefore I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to stay in a safe,comfortable environment. So Rise
(39:31):
of a Script is also involvedchallenging those fears, changing
those fears and even lookingwhat fear is. You know, some could
say that fear, it reallystands for false evidence appearing
real. Which means that, youknow, we have to challenge that fear,
that it's not real real, it'sperceived. So, and I'm sure your
(39:52):
listeners can identify is whenyou have Situations where you fear
the worst case scenario. Youknow, you're so worried about how
things can go wrong that let'stake this situation happened to you
in the past that you were soconcerned or worried about that was
going to go so wrong, youthought was going to go so wrong.
(40:12):
What most people will findthat when the actual situation happens,
it's not nearly as bad as weperceived or imagined it to be. But
fear ticks over. So we need torise above the fear too and really
confront that.
So I think it's a uniqueapproach to having to rewire ourselves.
(40:37):
Someone feels stuck in a storythat no longer fits was the first
step towards rewriting that.Because obviously you just mentioned
the thing about having tounderstand that we can rewrite our
own script, we can change themethodology, we can change what our
subconscious is saying to usthat's holding us down, holding us
(40:57):
back and keeping us frommoving forward. So what would be
the first step somebody would take?
Well, the first is takingaction is doing something that's
a little uncomfortable, likeripping the band aid off a little
bit. Um, so that might mean,you know, going live on social media,
giving a public speak, youknow, presentation, doing something
(41:21):
that makes you uncomfortableinitially, a little uncomfortable.
Over time it'll change, startchanging the, the capacity, like,
well, I can do this, look whatI can do, right? And then your lives
can change. But it's takingthose small actions because a lot
of people are sitting thereexpecting, expecting, wanting their
life to change, but are notdoing anything, you know, to do that.
(41:46):
So if you want your world tochange, you've got to start process.
So that means doing somethingdifferent to move forward. Take that
step, take that step. That'swhat's really important so that your
life can change and move inthat direction.
Yeah, that's brilliant,brilliant way of moving people forward.
(42:08):
I know that you have a lot ofresources and the ability and opportunity
for people to come in andchange their lives. In regard to
this, whether you're an actoror a human being that's looking to
move and change in their life,can you tell us how to reach you
and what you have to offer?
Well, definitely go to mywebsite, Albertpromonte.com, which
(42:30):
is under construction. But youcan go to my. You can also check
out my book on Amazon, Riseabove the Script. It's is available
both as a book and as anaudiobook. And you can also go to
my website. Right now I have alot of recordings available, short,
like brief hypnotic sessionswhere you can listen over and over
(42:52):
Again, and, you know, with therear headphones, and they're on such
a variety of topics. I haveover 250 available that you can choose
from public speaking toleadership to addictions. So just
go to albertbermonti.com I'malso going to be launching a coaching
program, so also there'll be achance in the next few weeks to book
(43:15):
a call with me. I'd love tohave a conversation with you.
Outstanding. I'll make surethose are in the show notes. Everybody
has an easy way to click andfind you very easily. So, Albert,
thank you very much for beingpart of here. Thank you very much
for sharing your wisdom, yourexperience, and the opportunity for
people to improve their lives.Because I think this what we've talked
(43:37):
about today, whether you're anactor again or just a human being
looking for some help, thisapplies to each and every one of
you. So I appreciate you.
Yeah.
And again, I'll make sureeverything's in the show notes and
people to reach out andconnect with you because I think
that we have a uniqueopportunity for you to be able to
(44:01):
improve your lives.
Absolutely. Yes. Thank you.And thank you for having me on.
Absolutely. And one more thingbefore you all go. We carry scripts.
Sometimes we write ourselves.Others were handed to us by family,
by culture, by fear, as wejust spoke about. But as Dr. Albert
Bramante reminded us today,those scripts aren't permanent. They're
(44:22):
not prophecy. They're justpages. And pages can be rewritten.
If you've ever felt stuck in arole that no longer fits, if the
voice in your head sounds morelike an echo than your own truth,
this is your invitation torise above the script, to reclaim
your voice, to step into thespotlight not as a character, but
as your truest self. Becausehealing isn't always quiet. Sometimes
(44:43):
it's standing ovation for theperson you've just become. So that's
where we need to go. Albert,you've got the opportunity to help
people, so I hope they reach out.
Thank you again.
This is a wrap for today'sepisode. I hope you found it. Inspiration.
I found motivation and a newperspective to take with you. If
(45:04):
you enjoyed this conversation,be sure to, like, subscribe and follow
us. It really helps uscontinue bringing incredible stories
and insights. And if you wantto watch this episode, head over
to YouTube and catch the fullvideo version. And until next time,
have a great day and evenbetter week. And thank you for joining
us on one more thing beforeyou go. And remember, stay curious,
(45:24):
stay open and keep rewritingyour story.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of One More Thing before
youe Go. Check out ourwebsite@beforeyougopodcast.com youm
can find us as well assubscribe to the program and rate
us on your favorite podcastlistening platform.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.