June 15, 2024 • 51 mins
What truly defines a coach, and how do they empower their clients to reach their full potential? Join us as we host an enlightening conversation with Sophia Casey, CEO of Sophia Casey Enterprises and founder of the International Coaching and Leadership Institute. Sophia shares her remarkable transformation from a consultant and HR director to a certified coach, emphasizing the importance of seeing clients as naturally resourceful. We explore the challenges faced when clients set lofty or seemingly unrealistic aspirations. Reflecting on her early career, Sophia discusses the pivotal moment she learned to shift her focus from her fears to her clients' limitless potential. We delve into the differences between coaching, therapy, mentoring, and consulting, and why coaches must understand their unique role. Sophia also sheds light on maintaining credibility and qualifications in the coaching profession, ensuring that we, as coaches, stay true to our purpose and expertise.
Personal growth and authentic connections are at the heart of this discussion. We share personal anecdotes about overcoming self-sabotage and embracing one's unique gifts. Learn about the transformative power of genuine connections and the importance of surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals who support your aspirations. From Sophia's journey as a published author to creating impactful resources like the 31-day journal "Ease and Flow," this episode is packed with inspiration and practical tips for achieving success while staying authentic. Engage with us across various platforms, and remember, every story is worth hearing.
Discover more about Sophia Casey MCC by clicking the links below.
https://sophiacasey.net/
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sophia+casey&i=stripbooks&crid=1QE5RO7XE6MWB&sprefix=sophia+casey%2Cstripbooks%2C49&ref=nb_sb_noss
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brothers and sisters.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Give me a moment with your friend.
I've never been up to a levelfor my thoughts before.
Welcome to the Only One MicPodcast Carl Girard and Brooklyn
Dre riding on this one.
We also got a very, veryspecial guest, miss Sophia Casey
.
She is the CEO of Sophia CaseyEnterprises and founder and
(00:37):
chief empowerment officer of theInternational Coaching and
Leadership Institute.
Risen Sophia, how you doingwhat's?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
going on Sophia Better now, Better now.
So however I was doing before,it doesn't matter.
I'm doing great now.
I'm so grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Oh, grateful to have you, grateful to have you.
So, as always, you know, wewere super excited to have you
on and I know that you're in thecoaching space.
So I got to ask you as my firstquestion, you know, because we
had another brother on here,brian Isom.
I love listening to that BrianIsom very good brother and so I
(01:16):
had to ask Brian.
I said you know what, brian?
What is a coach?
What qualifies a coach?
You know, because we got a lotof people in the space that say
I'm a coach here, I'm a coachthere, I'm a coach financing,
I'm a coach, life coach and this, but it's like what makes you
qualified to do that?
You know what I mean and whichhe said you got to ask that
(01:36):
question.
So I'm going to ask you thatsame question, for you to answer
for our audience what is acoach?
How do you define it?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
So well, first of all , I put a disclaimer up front is
that I'm about to step on a lotof toes right now.
Okay, all right.
So out there in those internetstreets, the definition of coach
is somebody that you've hiredto tell you what to do.
An example is like a book coach.
(02:04):
A book coach you'll hire a bookcoach for that book coach to
tell you exactly how to publishyour book, write and publish
your book, and they may evenpromise that you're going to be
a bestseller.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
My definition of coaching and the definition of
coaching that I use in myexecutive coaching work and also
at our coach training school,ICLI Rising, says that I relate
to you as naturally resourceful.
I relate to you as not someonewho is broken that needs to be
fixed.
So when you hire me as yourexecutive coach or as your life
(02:39):
coach, you're hiring me tosupport you with advancing the
ball.
I am an American football fan.
I just say American footballbecause my family is Jamaican
and they say football issomething else.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Right, right, hold on .
We got to stop for a second.
Shout out to the yard man, theyard man.
Yeah, we got to give it up forhim Come on.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I have to clarify American football.
So a big fan and a big part ofAmerican football says that you
will advance the ball 10 yards,another 10 yards, another 10
yards, and so my job as yourexecutive coach, your life coach
, as your executive life coach,is to support you with advancing
the ball.
You get to say what the goal is.
(03:24):
You get to say what the goal is.
You get to say what the ball is.
I am there to support you.
Now, if you give me permission,we have an agreement from time
to time I also can give you alittle bit of telling you what
to do, but that's only becauseyou gave me permission.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Right, right.
So it's pretty much advice.
You can take it or leave it.
You know what I mean.
It's like I can kind of giveyou some advice on what to do,
but not tell you what to do.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yes, and the thing about the our, our, our version
of coaching is that I'm actuallynot going to go to advice
giving right away.
I'm not.
I'm going to save that at thebottom of my toolbox.
My toolbox is click, click.
She's so clear and cute, she'sall blinged out.
(04:08):
So I'm digging to my blingedout toolbox, but advice giving
is way at the bottom.
So what's on top of that?
What's before that?
Waiting for CJ to tell me whatit is that he wants out of his
life?
Waiting for Andre to actuallycome up with some ideas of what
resources he can tap into toactually advance that ball to
get what he wants.
(04:28):
Before I go and pull out, hey,I think you should do this.
Hey, I actually used to be amanager and this is what I did
back when I was a manager.
So and I struggle with that inthe beginning of my coaching
career I've been a certifiedcoach for over a decade and I
struggled because I was aconsultant and I also was a
(04:49):
director of HR.
We told people what to do, likethat was my thought.
So it was a big, big mindsetshift for me.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Okay, so yeah, coach, coach, lady and mentor the
words that are like thrownaround.
You know like.
You know, everybody's not alady.
You know what?
The words that are thrownaround?
Everybody's not a lady.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Lady is different, you can see it when it comes to
the door, and I like to add onking and queen as well.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's a term that's thrown around to everybody yeah,
we're from New York, soeverybody's calling each other
king and queen.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You ain't the king.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah, I said I was going to step on some toes,
y'all.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
This is what we do.
You got to call it what it is.
So let's talk about the journeythat got you from A to B.
So, like you started off, yousaid you was a manager and all.
So what was the shift that saidyou know what?
I'm going to go ahead and go inthis direction and open up my
business and have my business bethis, Basically trying to say
(05:55):
Sophia, tell the audience whoyou are.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
That got you where you are right now.
Well, I am the way that I cameinto this work.
I actually was doing coaching.
I worked for the federalgovernment.
My longest stint was at theWhite House.
We won't name which presidentand vice president, but anyway I
worked at the White House for awhile and then my longest stint
was at the I got to tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I'm sorry there's so many questions I got.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
You was on the other team, yeah you was on the other
team.
You was on the other team.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I did not say that.
No no no, actually, I do notmind sharing.
I was a former director ofFirst Impressions that's the
title that was given to me and Iworked for the Clinton Gore
campaign, specifically for AlGore, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Well, all right, I thought you were talking about
that I thought you were talkingabout my foot.
I was about to say whoa, whatare we doing with this?
What is it?
45y, five or whatever, four orfive, but go ahead, I'm sorry.
I mean I interrupt you.
I can share that.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I was doing coaching, but it wasn't called that.
The coaching industry is stillrelatively young it's only about
30 years old and I just didn'tknow that that's what I was
doing.
And then a sorority sisterShout out to Delta Sigma Theta
was doing.
And then a sorority sistershout out to Delta Sigma Theta.
A sorority sister shared withme that she had made some like
serious changes in her life andI could actually tell like
(07:13):
something was different abouther.
I was like what are you doing?
There's something differentabout you.
I could just tell that she hada more positive outlook related
to her life and she said, oh,I've been working with a coach
and I'm like what, who she'slike?
Well, you should just talk tohim.
I got on a call with her coachand literally 10 minutes into
(07:34):
the conversation, I was likeyou're hired.
Because I was blown away by how, with his support, I was able
to like to hone in on my issues,my barriers, what was stopping
me, my self-saboteurs, likeliterally in minutes.
And I was like, okay, I want totry this out some more.
(07:54):
And then that coach introducedme to coach training, invited me
to a coach training program,in-person coach training program
where I got to actually observecoach training students
coaching being coached.
30 minutes into thatobservation I turned to him and
whispered how do I sign up, howdo I enroll?
(08:14):
And I literally paid sixteenthousand five hundred dollars to
enroll that day in coachtraining and I went to a year
long coach training program inthe wonderful state of New York.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Nice Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No cool.
So let me ask, because you know, um, if I come to you, let's
just say, like we'll walkthrough a session, like, say,
I'll come to you and I say, allright, sophia, you know, I want
to I don't know be an astronaut,I don't know, I'm just throwing
something out there, all right,how would you, how would you
interact with a client in termsof you know, this is the goal
that they're trying to achieveand what would you say?
What would you say in terms ofthis is what you need to do to
(08:52):
get there?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I appreciate you asking that because a lot of
coaches and I'm like I'm astraight shooter, okay so a lot
of untrained coaches what theywould do is, right away, start,
probably start sweating becausethey may not know anything about
becoming an astronaut, but theywill start sweating, start
thinking about what can I tellhim, what advice could I give
(09:14):
him, trying to think of a plan?
But because of my definition ofcoaching, where I relate to you
as perfectly capable and wholeand complete, I would just ask
you a lot of questions aboutthat dream, that goal.
Why is it important to you tobecome an astronaut?
So I'd want to know a lot moreabout you, why that's important
(09:36):
to you, what your why is aroundthat?
Well, before I get intooffering you any advice and in
fact in our first conversation Iprobably wouldn't offer any
advice whatsoever Just listen tothe person and just see where
they.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Do you have those people that their goals just
seem like.
I don't know.
If I'm like a, like you know120 pound guy coming to say I
want to be a professionalwrestler.
I mean, like do you got to tellthem?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I don't know if that's gonna work out you know
that that can get sticky, youcan get challenging.
Um, in the beginning of mycoaching career, um, I did make
some missteps and and I would umqualify or or invalidate
people's goals because I wouldlook at their dreams through the
(10:25):
filters of my fears.
Someone came to me and said, oh, I want to do this grandiose
thing.
I was looking and judging, ifyou will, their goal through my
experiences, through my fears,through what I thought was
possible, and thank goodness forformal coach training that
taught me not to do that, or atleast to turn down the volume on
(10:48):
that and just hear from themhow they feel.
Do they feel it's possible?
And even if they feel it'simpossible, what would have them
relate to it as more possiblethan not?
So, as a coach, you're nevergoing to hear me say to a client
(11:09):
what are you talking about?
Willis, you can't be that.
You want to be an Amazon numberone bestseller who would come
out as number one on Amazon.
You know how many books are onAmazon.
You want to be number one andyou've never written a book.
You don't even know what youwant to write the book about.
You still will not hear me saythat is not a valid goal for you
(11:33):
to have.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
You have to pack up the books on somebody and just
say, listen, I can't help you.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
There have been times I have said that, Andre, but
you know-.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Just close the folder on them.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's it.
Like I'm sorry, Let me give youmy business.
Let me give you my businesscolleagues card.
Yeah, there have been a fewtimes where the conversation has
gone that way, and but thosetimes it was mostly because the
people were relating to coachingas therapy.
(12:05):
So they were coming to methinking my job as a coach was
to support them around healingthings that happened in the past
and that is not my lane.
And so and I don't just, Idon't just kick them out, of
course, I still support themeven right then and say I will
tell them like hey, it soundslike this is more in the
therapeutic or counseling lane.
(12:27):
I actually have somerecommendations to some
therapists or counselors.
If you're willing, I'm happy toshare that with you.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So you did a.
What about Bob?
You just transferred over toanother person.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Here's my business card?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah yeah.
Is his business card?
Yeah, yeah.
So that's deep, because I knowa lot of people.
They hear these things, like Isay, all the time.
You hear it but you don't knowexactly what it is that you're
getting into.
So it's always smart to askthese questions.
You know what I mean and evenon your side of what you can and
cannot deal with, you know whatyou're qualified to deal with
(13:02):
or not In that training.
Do you work with any type oftherapists?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
you know that say, well, this is some techniques
that you could use, and all tohelp your clients.
Absolutely so in our coachtraining program.
Well, we have several coachtraining programs, but in all of
them I typically have acounselor or a therapist.
We have a couple of them on ourstaff.
I have them come in and do amodule, a training module,
around what therapy is, what iscounseling, what types of ways
(13:32):
do they actually support clients?
And in my training I'm one ofthe lead facilitators.
I do a whole module on whatcoaching is and what coaching is
not, and how is coaching andwhat we do different than what a
therapist does, different thanwhat a mentor does.
I get confused all the time withwhat we do, a mentor and how is
(13:55):
it different from a consultantand what a consultant does.
And I've heard time and timeagain the light bulbs that go
off when we do this training areso loud like you can literally
hear.
You know the students like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait.
So wait a minute.
So I don't have to understandor know a whole lot or be an
(14:18):
expert in counseling If theclient brings up some type of
counseling topic.
No, it's not your job, it's notyour lane, and what I hear
oftentimes a lot of theepiphanies that our students get
is they then start to figureout.
Their job as coach is a loteasier than they thought it was.
(14:43):
Coach is a lot easier than theythought it was.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
It's a lot easier because they don't have to be
the expert and they don't haveto perform.
And you know, something thatyou say interesting was I didn't
realize, until you actuallysaid it, how many categories
there are mentors, counselors,consultants.
You know it's like wow, I'venever really thought about how
many lanes there are it's a lotof.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It's a lot of carpetbagging in that field yeah
, it is.
It is because it's like you knowsome people like you're sitting
there looking at them, like,like you don't, like I'm looking
at you and I'm hearing all theaccolades and different things
that come along with you.
So I mean then I can sit backand say, all right, she's
successful, I can listen to her.
You know I mean.
But then I can sit back and say, all right, she's successful, I
can listen to her.
You know what I mean.
But then there's other peoplethat you're looking at like,
come on, man, like I got thesame thing you got.
I mean I can't take advice.
(15:30):
Well, I guess you can takeadvice from anybody, but you
know, I mean I'm not going topay you to coach me, you know,
and you're not doing much betterthan I am.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I mean first, it's just like they say about like
drug counselors.
They say that how can you be adrug counselor if you've never
been on drugs?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
You know, how can you , how can you connect, and I
imagine that there are stillways you know.
Under, as you said, there'sstill value or benefit that you
can get from folks.
But what I want from a coach isI don't need for my coach to
have weathered all the stormsthat I've weathered in order to
support me around weathering myown, but I do need my coach to
(16:10):
have weathered some storms, orat least a storm is exactly,
exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So now, if we go on to a other space of that, like I
know, this is just, like youknow, you might be career
guidance on this.
But what about everyday life?
Like you know, living, if Icould say, the best life you can
possibly live, living in yourauthentic self um, tell us about
that.
Like you have people that comeand ask you well, you know,
(16:37):
sophia, this is, you know, notmore or less like career driven
goals, but this is what I'mtrying to achieve in life.
You know, out of my life, whatare examples of that that you
can give our audience, becausewe have a lot of people that you
know might come to you for thatas well.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Well, you know what I ?
What I've noticed over, youknow, all these years I've been
doing this work, is a lot oftimes people come to coaching
because they actually don'tbelieve they can have what they
want.
Why am I getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Uh-oh hold on.
Are you about to cry on thismicrophone?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I felt something.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay, don't do that.
We'll make a meme out of you,man.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I've been looking for a freelancer to make some.
Yeah, a lot of times they comeand they actually don't really
believe they can have what it isthey want, and they're coming
to a coach or anotherparaprofessional to validate or
to give them permission to havewhat they want.
(17:43):
And so in my work with myclients, I support them first of
all on getting clear, clearabout what you want.
And a lot of times people willnot even allow themselves to
dream that big because theircontext is it's never worked
before or their context is well,I came from this certain
(18:06):
neighborhood and that justdoesn't happen in my environment
.
So how is it that I couldpossibly do this or be this?
And one of the things that'sthat's most helpful in the work
that we do is to just allow theclient to first of all dream.
Can you dream Like if there wasnothing holding you back?
(18:28):
Money's not an object,resources, nothing.
What is it that you want?
And I've been really fascinatedwith how much people struggle
over actually articulating thatright, because a lot of times
they've been told they can'thave it.
I mean, I was raised in SouthCentral LA.
(18:49):
Shout out what's up.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Oh yeah, well, hold on, she's the real deal, folks.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That's the other American Vietnam.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
On the other side, you know, don't have this cool
experience, don't have this coolexperience.
So back then, if I had gone toa coach and a coach asked me
what it is I want to do or whois it that I want to be in this
world, my realm of possibilityprobably would have been very
small.
Well, actually many times itwas.
(19:24):
But you know, thank goodnessfor a praying grandmother, thank
goodness for prayinggrandmother, thank goodness for
having people in my life thattaught me you are in this
environment, but you're not ofthis environment, so you
actually can do something evenoutside this environment.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, I do experience that a lot with clients who
come to me and also coachingstudents who come to me and who
don't believe that they couldsupport somebody in having what
they really desire.
What happens when that personthat you're coaching, like they
just don't do the work?
Like how do you get them to geton track?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
and do what they have to do.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Seeing that, look right there, yeah you saw me
laughing right there, saw that.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
What I have heard myself say a lot in some
coaching sessions, especiallywhen they're checking me out.
We're just now starting, maybeI'm doing a sample coaching
session with them so they cantry me out.
I also say to them I'm checkingyou out too, because not
everybody is my client, and Ialso say oftentimes I can't want
(20:40):
your dream more than you do.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Please say that again .
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I can't, I cannot want your dream more than you do
.
Exactly, I want your dream morethan you do.
Guess who's doing the work?
I'm doing the work, I'm doingthe heavy lifting and you know,
one of my favorite things isthat, that easy button.
You know you push it and saysthat was easy, that's how I want
(21:05):
to live my life.
You know you push it and saysthat was easy, that's how I want
to live my life.
I want my personal and myprofessional life to be easy.
So it wouldn't be an easy life,an easy career as a coach if I
am like holding on and strivingand grinding so that your dream
can become reality and yousitting over there and you're
not doing the work.
And so what I suggest that ourcoaching students do and coaches
(21:28):
that I mentor, is that may notbe the time for that person to
really invest in coaching.
Yeah, just may not be the time,or I may not be the coach for
them.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, and that's the same thing that Brian was saying
when we interviewed him is that, you know, it might not have
been that particular time forthat person?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
You know, and so you just got to hold off, I guess,
and wait and see what they do.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
You know, or they?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
can wait and see what they want to do.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
That's kind of deep because that's I mean I come
from a spiritual background, soI kind of look at that like
church.
You know what I mean.
Like you know, like you cantalk somebody into you know,
like yo, this is what we shoulddo and this is God and this is
the scriptures and things likethat.
But until they actually want tocome in, you know and do the
work themselves, then it's untilyou know, it's on them, bottom
(22:17):
line, it's on them basically,absolutely.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You know what the famous quote is I can lead a
horse to water, but I can't makehim drink.
That's right.
So, as a coach, I can supportyou and get into the water, but
I can't control whether or notyou drink or not.
And here's the thing that Ishare with coaching students a
lot is don't be so quick to giveup on people.
(22:42):
Also, let's say that person,given the scenario, andre, that
you just gave, like they're notreally committed.
They're kind of kicking the canevery week, you know, every
coaching session.
They still haven't done all thethings they said they were
going to do.
I don't necessarily throw in thetowel on them, but I start
getting curious and asking themquestions and maybe even making
a reflection to them about whatI noticed.
(23:04):
Hey, sharon, I noticed that youhave been talking about
starting your road of dating.
You've been talking about itfor the last four coaching
sessions.
How many dates have you been on?
Zero.
What got in the way, right?
(23:27):
I didn't expect to do a littlecoaching demo here, but here we
go.
Yeah, what got in the way ofyou not having what it is that
you said you were committed to?
Right?
So I didn't tell her what to do.
All I did was reflect what Isee.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
That's right, kind of like a soft calling to the
carpet of your foolishness.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Exactly, yeah, I hear you Exactly, most people don't
believe work brings success.
You know what I mean.
Like I think most people think,like it happened to you by
accident, like things got betterby accident.
You know, I say that because Ithink I was one of those people
at one time, like even like mestarting out at church and I
remember seeing like people withgood families and you know, um,
I'm seeing brother, sister andthey daughter and they son and
(24:13):
they go into church together andthey have a family and I'm
thinking like man, I would liketo have that.
You know.
I mean like, how do I go aboutdoing that, you know, and uh,
getting better in my life andstuff like that.
So, but again, things gotbetter for me.
You know I what I mean, becauseI did some work.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Because you did the work.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah right.
But a lot of people don'tbelieve it works, the work works
.
Oh my God.
You know that was one of myfirst hashtags.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Really For years.
Wow, oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I better go trademark that though.
You should yeah.
Hold on hold.
On hold on.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I might have a career in this thing Coaching the
coach.
What's wrong with you?
That's right.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I done saved a lot of undesirables in my life.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You got to do the work.
The work works and it does.
It's, it works it works.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So how fulfilling is that for you, like as a as a
person, when you see the successyou know um, the success of one
of your clients, you know andyou sit back and you're looking
like, wow, I remember when youcame in and you were this way.
Now you walking, walk in thatway.
Well, how do you feelpersonally?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Oh my gosh.
I can tell you all that I amclear that the work I do Is God
ordained and I was purposed todo this work because sometimes I
literally feel like you know, Idon't always share this with a
(25:50):
whole lot of people becausepeople are like you're weird,
which that's okay.
It sometimes feels like anout-of-body experience when I'm
literally in that coachingsession and even coach training.
When I'm training and I'mtalking to these coaches and I'm
training them around, dwellingin possibility, and I see them
(26:11):
go from here like, oh, there'sno way, I'm not good enough, I'm
not going to be a strong enoughcoach to by the time they
graduate and they're like I cancoach anybody, right?
It is an out-of-body experienceto see people actually get an
epiphany or get awareness thatthey are the cause of what they
(26:34):
have or don't have in theirlives.
And they actually have somestake in the ground, they have
control, a lot of control overwhat they actually have in their
life, or they don't see Likethey have that it is.
It is, I'm addicted to it.
I'll put it that way yeah, I'maddicted now and helping people?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
do you find a little piece of yourself and a lot of
your clients like, say,sometimes you'd be talking to
yourself?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
every single one, every single client, and the
majority of my clients are don'tlook like me.
A lot of them don't look like mebecause I work with a lot of
C-suite executives, mostly inthe IT arena.
A lot of times they don't looklike me and it's still an out of
body experience to even seethese people, these executives
(27:25):
who have this.
This definition of what itmeans to be a CEO or what it
means to be the senior VP isthis way.
I must show up.
This way.
I can't show up as my authenticself, because this is what it
looks like to be a C-suiteexecutive, To see them go from
that mindset and swing thependulum all the way the other
(27:47):
way and actually get thisawareness that they can actually
still be successful as aC-suite executive while being
themselves.
See, when I was in corporate, Ididn't have that relationship.
I was told, especially being aBlack woman in corporate America
also.
You have to be this way.
(28:07):
You cannot go into thiscorporation being your authentic
self, and many times, manyyears, I wasn't, I wasn't.
So you say, how does it feel?
It feels darn good, it feelsgreat to work for myself too, so
that I can show up as myauthentic self.
Speaking of that, I had someonesay to me you got to stop
(28:30):
showing up the way you'reshowing up on social media.
One moment you're twerking ordancing or having a good time
and the next moment you're on amic speaking to 150,000 people.
Those corporations are notgoing to hire you by you being
your playful self.
And what I said to her, to mycolleague, is the corporations
(28:53):
that hire me and I'm proud Ihave a whole list the
corporations who hire me.
They know me, they know who Iam.
They're hiring my authenticself.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
They're hiring you.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
They're hiring me and those that don't, because they
judge me and say, oh my gosh,she's too much energy, she's too
much of this or too much ofthat.
She's talking about thatanointed stuff I will never know
, Right, cause they won't hireme.
How would I ever know?
So I'm going to, I'm going tobet and keep banking on being my
(29:24):
authentic self and working withthose companies.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
So let me ask what are some tips you can give our
listeners in terms of being yourauthentic self and doing the
work Like?
What are a few tips withoutgiving away the store, Cause I
know you still got a business torun.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Well, I will.
I will first say to compare usto despair, to compare us to
despair, to compare is todespair.
Stop looking on social mediafor who you should be and how
you should show up in a space.
Stop comparing yourself withthose people.
(30:01):
Those people are not you, theywere not giving your unique
gifts and talents.
So to compare to despair,sometimes I have to come off of
you know, don't watch the news,don't go on social media and
remind myself of who I am andthat my unique gifts, that I am
enough.
Secondly, I also wouldencourage people to get more
(30:24):
information about theirsaboteurs and the way that they
self-sabotage.
How do you sabotage yourselffrom being your highest and
greatest selves?
And it can show up in so manydifferent ways, so many
different ways.
And in our coach trainingschool we do a lot of work, a
(30:47):
lot of training of the coachingstudents on how to support
clients around their saboteurswhen their saboteurs get really
loud and when their innercritics are saying girl, who do
you think you are?
Well, you want a promotion.
Do you feel like you juststarted this job and now you're
talking about being a seniormanager?
(31:08):
Right, we have tools and wetrain them to use tools and I
use tools all the time in mywork to support that client with
maybe taking a look and seeingthere might be a different way.
Or those self-saboteurs thatare talking in my ear.
They may not be truthful.
They may not be truthful.
(31:30):
So get to know more about yourunique gifts and get to more,
get to know more about yourbarriers and how you may
self-sabotage, and then I'll sayand share that with your coach
Okay, so the coach can hold youaccountable.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Yeah, so the coach can hold you accountable.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah, so the coach can hold you accountable that's
very important.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I think that's pretty much it says like you got to
get rid of your a lot of times.
You got to get rid of yoursurroundings, like you got to
start all over, you know, I mean, and like get the people around
you that are going the samedirection that you're going, you
know andre, I tell you that hasbeen a.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
How do I say this?
I've been on that journey for awhile.
Um, I started to notice that Iwas surrounding myself with,
with people who were notnecessarily where I wanted to be
, but it was safe to besurrounded by those people.
(32:34):
Here we go.
I'm totally outing myself now.
It was safe to be around.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
That's all of us.
What you're about to say is allof us pretty much, Thank you.
It's the people you love.
You feel comfortable around.
You know what I mean, butthey're not going the same way
you're going.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
They're not going, they're not rowing in the same
direction.
And what I discovered not justin coaching, but also in therapy
I'm a big, big supporter oftherapy and coaching working
together in tandem what Idiscovered is I kept surrounding
myself with those type ofpeople because it made it easier
(33:09):
for me to put my light under abushel, it made it easier for me
to downplay my gifts because Ifelt uncomfortable standing out
from the crowd.
So why don't I just keepstanding in this crowd and not
standing out?
And then I came to the point inmy life where I'm like I'm not
(33:32):
this anymore, like I have somegoals, I have some things.
You know, if I'm being honestwith myself, I don't want this,
I want this life.
And I got a lot of support, youknow, from my coaches.
I have more than one therapistmy clergy from around
surrounding myself with peoplewhose lives I wanted to emulate.
(33:54):
I wanted what they have Right,I wanted to experience what they
were experiencing.
And it's been tough.
Like I said, I'm still on thejourney.
I'm still on the journey.
I'm still doing some housecleaning.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Aren't we all.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
That's never ending.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
That's never ending.
Yeah, that's never going tostop.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Never ending.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
So let me talk about your books here.
So you are a published author,don't?
Speaker 3 (34:19):
think I wasn't going to touch on that.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
All right, so yeah, so you have what?
How many books so far?
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I now have eight books and I'm working on the
ninth.
Yeah, eight time publisher.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, and you have one that says Fierce and
Vulnerable, a Colored Girl'sTruth, trials and Triumphs and
that debuted.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
That's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I was going to ask you which one out of the eight
was your favorite, I'll say alleight of them.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
But that is a favorite of mine because to me,
that fierce vulnerability bookcould be the poster for the work
that I do as a coach.
So here I am.
I didn't even consider myself awriter, didn't like to write,
(35:08):
but I was given a directdownload and I know your
listeners.
Many can relate to what thatmeans.
I was given a direct downloadto go put this story in a book
and I'm like wait a minute.
So, first of all, not only do Inot like to write, I don't feel
like I'm great as a writer and Idefinitely can't write fiction.
(35:29):
But you want me to go write afiction book and I did it.
I did it.
I said I will be obedient and Itook the stories of a lot of
the women that I have surroundedmyself with and I took a lot of
my own story and I createdthese four black women and I put
it down on paper.
(35:50):
And I kid you not, when Ipublished that book on Amazon,
it went to the number one slot,the number one new release for
books by women and plays bywomen overnight.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Nice, yeah, I was.
I was just looking at that, wow, and it's.
You know, for a person I'venever aspired to write.
I never thought that this is abut see, you're a victim of your
own success, because it's thesame thing that you deal with
your clients is that you mightthink it's unachievable but it's
there, the whole time.
You're just helping to pull itout a little bit right.
So also, too, you also haveEase and Flow, a 31-day journal
(36:31):
to clear and connected andcourageous.
Clear, connected and courageousabout life.
To get clear and collected.
Clear, collected and courageousabout life.
Aside from writing tonguetwisters, I mean, how was that
experience writing that book foryou?
See, but it helps you rememberbecause you got to keep saying
it over and over.
Yeah, you got to keep saying itover and over.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
You got to keep saying it over and over.
Well, I will tell you that thatjournal that was my very first
book.
Actually, same thing, divine,download, go write this journal,
go create this journal.
That journal was actuallycreated in the hospital, while I
was sitting in a recliner andmy husband was in the hospital
(37:10):
bed having, uh, just recoveredfrom his first brain surgery.
My husband, um, unfortunately,um encountered a stroke and then
a brain tumor was discovered.
I will say he's doing great.
He's doing great, that'swonderful.
Yes, and I love journalingalready, so I would always
(37:32):
journal.
But in that space and time ofmy life I just like looking at a
blank page to journal.
I'm like I don't even knowwhere to start.
I had so many emotions.
Can you imagine so many thingsgoing on?
I'm like what am I supposed towrite?
And I said you know, thatdoesn't work.
(37:53):
I need something else.
And the direct download I gotwas go create what you need
right now.
Go create what you need.
And I'm like, okay, well, Ineed a book that's going to ask
me some questions, at least toget me started, maybe some
journal prompts or something.
I need a book that's going toask me some questions, at least
to get me started, maybe somejournal prompts or something.
I need a book that's going toask me, that's going to remind
me of who I am.
You know a place for me towrite down every day who I am,
(38:16):
because in this environment ofdealing with a hundred medical
professionals who are telling methat this ain't looking good
like, I need people to remind me.
I need myself to be able toremind me.
And so from that I created thisjournal, literally sitting in
the hospital recliner and calleda graphic designer.
I said here's my idea.
(38:36):
I know it sounds cuckoo forCocoa Puffs.
I just need you to go, takethis and make it look like a
book had never written a book,done anything.
And she said, sophia, I'm goingto go one step further.
But she didn't do this workeither.
She said I'm going to go onestep further.
I'm actually going to hold yourhand and you and I are going to
(38:56):
figure out how to self-publishthis journal on Amazon.
And it became an Amazonbestseller in less than two
weeks.
Wow in less than two weeks.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Wow, oh, look at this .
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Listen.
I had a horrible life thatturned around too.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I need to write me something.
Man, that's the thing you do.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
But not to say you had a horrible life.
But we come from you knowhumble beginnings and stuff like
that Sure.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, we had experiences.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Yeah experiences we had experiences and that's the
piece you all asked me earlierabout the authenticity piece.
That is what people want.
They want to know that they arenot so different than you.
They want to know that you canrelate to them and resonate with
you, know their fears and theiraccomplishments and things that
(39:47):
stop them.
They want to know you're real.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, and then coming to a person like yourself is
just wonderful, like you said,in the real part of it it's like
, you know, if I'm looking atyou and I'm walking in a door
and I haven't experienced whatyou experienced, it's going to
be hard for me to say to you Ican't do this and I can't do
that, when I'm talking to youand you've done so much, you
know, coming from yourcircumstances, you know.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yes and absolutely.
And it's like you know, ifyou're walking in the door and
I'm supposed to trust you andI'm supposed to hire you, in
order to hire you I have to beable to trust you.
And the best way for me tolearn or to see that I can trust
you is by you being yourself,by you being yourself.
And you know, I just want to, Iwant to relieve so many coaches
(40:32):
like there are hundreds ofthousands of coaches on this
planet and when I see them onthe internet, social media, like
sometimes I literally just I'min pain for them because they're
working so hard, because theyhave the concept that they have
to be perfect.
Not only do I have to haveweathered what you, the concept
that they have to be perfect,not only do I have to have
weathered what you weathered, Ihave to have come out on the
(40:54):
side of perfection and I'm likeno, no, no, no, no, no.
I want to scream it from therooftops.
No, they do want you to havesome expertise, but, most
importantly, they want to knowthat you are comfortable enough,
even sharing that your weatherthe store right.
That you're not Right, I tellyou.
It makes my job easy.
I was so grateful when Ifinally learned that in coach
(41:18):
training that I didn't have tobe perfect, didn't have to be
perfect, but I can still supportpeople.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
You can still support people.
So there's nothing wrong withthat and it's good because, like
you say, you can you learn itfrom them as well as they learn
it from you, and you know, Iguess, a part of you grows every
time you sit down and you talkto somebody.
It's like I can see some ofmyself in you yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
And I don't have to perform because you know I have
one client.
Of course, I can't give awaythe confidences, but let's just
say this client is theequivalent of like the third or
fourth person in command atHewlett Packard.
I'm just making this up Right?
I know how to turn on mycomputer and turn it off.
(42:03):
You see I'm having technicaldifficulties.
So I am not an IT specialist,IT specialist what I shared with
him when we first startedworking together.
I said I want to be clear I amnot an IT expert, have no desire
to be one.
However, I do have a little bitof experience with the industry
that you're in because I usedto be the director of HR for
very large IT organizations.
(42:23):
So I know how to hire youpeople, but I am not an expert
on mainframes.
I don't even know what thatmeans.
And I'm saying this to him aswe're starting beginning to work
together to make it clear andto level, set expectations
around the work that I do.
I'm not coming in here as an ITexpert.
I'm coming here as an expert incoaching and is supporting you
(42:47):
with having what it is that youwanted, and I'm so grateful that
I do get the opportunity towork with a lot of executives
and I think the reason that theykeep coming back and they refer
me is because of my willingnessto say I am not an expert in
your industry.
I'm not.
(43:08):
And those folks that you see outthere on the internet no shade
to the coaches.
First of all, you, a coach, youget snaps from me, but a lot of
the coaches you see on theinternet they are actually
consultants.
As a consultant, I am an expertin a certain area, so I
actually wear a hat as aconsultant as well.
(43:29):
When people hire me as aconsultant, I better be an
expert.
They're expecting me to come inand, you know, re-engineer some
processes for them.
They're hiring me as aconsultant, as a trainer, to
come in and do some type ofprofessional development
training with their teams.
I better know something, but asa coach, I don't have to be an
(43:50):
expert in that field.
Right, that's the biggestdifference, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Right and I think they come back to because of the
balance.
Like you have like a qualitywhere it's like you're down to
earth, you're very professional,but you're down to earth and
you know you make things inlayman terms, whereas you know
we can sit down and you knowyou're very professional, but
you're down to earth and youknow you make things in layman's
terms, whereas you know we cansit down and you know you're one
of those people that have thatvery strange quality, whereas,
like you can, you know, I usedto say this about Malcolm X
(44:18):
Malcolm X can stand in front ofan audience of people and he can
speak to the gutter person onthe corner and he can speak to a
college you know college gradand they both got, you know this
wonderful, you know wonderfulinformation.
You know what I mean.
So I think you have that kindof quality, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
I really appreciate that and you know, in the past I
wouldn't have been even beenable to receive what you just
said, andre oh yeah, go ahead,because I Tell me why, tell me
why.
Because I didn't relate tomyself as who you just described
, right, but because of thepower of work, as you said
(44:58):
earlier, doing the work, thework works because I've done so
much work over here, right, Ican hear that and not only hear
it, I can hear it and receive it.
And I also agree with you.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Well, you know, you know a lot of times, like you
said a lot of times, people maynot take it as a compliment, but
you know it's just kind of like.
You know I don't want to sayyou're my grandmother, nothing
crazy like that.
But when I speak, when I whenI'm, what I'm about to say is
like my grandmother can speak tothe funeral director in our
family.
She can speak to, you know, thejailbird.
(45:33):
She can speak to the person youknow that got several degrees
and she can make them all feellike you know they're five year
olds.
You know what I mean and theycan take some information.
So that's what I'm saying.
And then she has a very she's avery powerful person and she
doesn't even have.
You know, you know theeducation, that you know most of
the people that you know in ourfamily that she talks to.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
And she doesn't have to because she is being her
authentic self and using her Godgiven gifts, right, right, she
probably doesn't have to workhard to inspire people and have
people keep coming back to her.
They have to work hard toinspire people and have people
keep coming back to her, right?
My grandmother was a ministerand she owned restaurants and
(46:17):
there would be lines wrappedaround her building for people
waiting, not just for her food.
Her food was great.
It was great, granny.
Thank you, her food was great.
But they were wrapped aroundthe building to just have a few
minutes to come and talk to her,for the very reason you just
described, because she didn'tjudge them.
She could relate to anyone.
(46:38):
So you have politicians comingin all the way to somebody who
was homeless and she couldrelate to every single person.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
So you have some good space, sophia, so I'm grateful.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
So I'm grateful.
I think I got that from her,that's good, that's a good thing
.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
All right.
So before we wrap, it's twothings.
I want you to let everybodyknow where they can reach you,
where they can get your books,which I'm going to put all this
in the description folks, thewebsite, the books and
everything.
But again, I'm not going totell you a story.
So let everybody know.
Let everybody know where theycan reach you, how they can get
your books.
You know, hire you for speakingengagements?
(47:18):
Go ahead and let it rip, sophia.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Thank you so much.
So I'm on LinkedIn as SophiaCasey.
You can always find me there.
Most places is going to saySophia Casey MCC, which stands
for master certified coach,cause I'm always going to put
that acronym behind my name,cause I'm proud of that.
There aren't many that looklike me and there are only 2,100
of us in the world, so you'realways going to see Sophia Casey
MCC.
And then I would.
I have three companies, but Iwould direct them to our coach
(47:47):
training school, which is, I see, li Rising dot com, and there
they can find all the things,all the things about OK, and
also can you impart some type ofon our audience, some type of
encouraging words?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Words of wisdom, something that you can, you know
that you don't mind letting itgo for free on this one.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I don't mind.
I don't mind giving away somefreebies.
So what I would say is you knowa lot of times what comes up in
coaching conversations and thework that I do is around people
not being in relationship orgood relationships with their
(48:34):
coworkers, colleagues, theirmanagers, their boo bae
honeysuckles Right.
And one of the quotes that I wasgiven years and years ago
literally transformed the waythat I relate to people,
especially when you're in aconflict or something and in
(48:54):
these political times weprobably all in conflict type of
conversations, and that quoteis you can be right or you can
be in relationship.
You can be in relationship.
You can be right or you can bein relationship, and what that
(49:15):
means in a nutshell, which oneare you committed to?
Are you committed to thisrelationship and being connected
with this person heart to heart, soul to soul, or are you more
committed to being right?
And so when I ask myself thatand I'm in a conflict or some
type of tough conversation if Ivote for I'm committed to the
(49:35):
relationship, I probably wouldsay things differently to that
other person.
On the other end, I probablywould show up differently.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
That's a good one.
Right there, it definitely isAlright.
So if you walk through yourlife and never helped anybody,
then you haven't lived fredhampton, and I say that because
obviously, sophia, you've helpeda lot of people in your work,
all right, and I want you tocontinue, or we want you to
(50:08):
continue to keep doing that, allright.
Speaker 3 (50:10):
So, with that being said, you know you always got an
open platform here.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Anytime you want to come on and you know, discuss,
next time you publish a book youcome on and yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I would love that.
Thank you, I love talking toyou all.
It's, it's ease and flow.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
That's right, that's how it's supposed to be.
I got to applaud that before.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
All right.
So, with that being said, folks, I'm going to go ahead and let
you get our handles.
Thank you once again, sophiaCasey, mcc.
All right, the only one mypodcast is available on all
major platforms to stream yourpodcast on.
All right, the Only One MicPodcast is available on all
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Also, check out our Only OneMic Podcast YouTube channel to
watch the past and currentepisodes, and please don't
forget to rate the show andsubscribe folks.
(50:57):
Also check us out on Instagramand Twitter at TheOnlyOneMicP1.
Facebook and LinkedIn atTheOnlyOneMicPodcast.
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You can email us attheonlyonemike00 at gmailcom or
call us with your comments andquestions at 302-367-7219.
(51:17):
And we might even play it onthe show.
We thank you once again for yourtime, sophia Casey.
Continue this wonderful work,thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you All right, and weencourage you, the listener, to
speak your truth quietly andclearly and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant,because they too have their
story to tell.
(51:37):
So until next time, please keepin mind if you never had to run
from the Ku Klux Klan, then youshouldn't have to run from a
black man.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Peace, peace.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
I love it.
Brothers and sisters.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Give me a moment with your friend.
I've never been up to a levelfor my thoughts before.
Welcome to the Only One MicPodcast Carl Girard and Brooklyn
Dre riding on this one.
We also got a very, veryspecial guest, miss Sophia Casey
.
She is the CEO of Sophia CaseyEnterprises and founder and
(00:37):
chief empowerment officer of theInternational Coaching and
Leadership Institute.
Risen Sophia, how you doingwhat's?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
going on Sophia Better now, Better now.
So however I was doing before,it doesn't matter.
I'm doing great now.
I'm so grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Oh, grateful to have you, grateful to have you.
So, as always, you know, wewere super excited to have you
on and I know that you're in thecoaching space.
So I got to ask you as my firstquestion, you know, because we
had another brother on here,brian Isom.
I love listening to that BrianIsom very good brother and so I
(01:16):
had to ask Brian.
I said you know what, brian?
What is a coach?
What qualifies a coach?
You know, because we got a lotof people in the space that say
I'm a coach here, I'm a coachthere, I'm a coach financing,
I'm a coach, life coach and this, but it's like what makes you
qualified to do that?
You know what I mean and whichhe said you got to ask that
(01:36):
question.
So I'm going to ask you thatsame question, for you to answer
for our audience what is acoach?
How do you define it?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
So well, first of all , I put a disclaimer up front is
that I'm about to step on a lotof toes right now.
Okay, all right.
So out there in those internetstreets, the definition of coach
is somebody that you've hiredto tell you what to do.
An example is like a book coach.
(02:04):
A book coach you'll hire a bookcoach for that book coach to
tell you exactly how to publishyour book, write and publish
your book, and they may evenpromise that you're going to be
a bestseller.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
My definition of coaching and the definition of
coaching that I use in myexecutive coaching work and also
at our coach training school,ICLI Rising, says that I relate
to you as naturally resourceful.
I relate to you as not someonewho is broken that needs to be
fixed.
So when you hire me as yourexecutive coach or as your life
(02:39):
coach, you're hiring me tosupport you with advancing the
ball.
I am an American football fan.
I just say American footballbecause my family is Jamaican
and they say football issomething else.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Right, right, hold on .
We got to stop for a second.
Shout out to the yard man, theyard man.
Yeah, we got to give it up forhim Come on.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I have to clarify American football.
So a big fan and a big part ofAmerican football says that you
will advance the ball 10 yards,another 10 yards, another 10
yards, and so my job as yourexecutive coach, your life coach
, as your executive life coach,is to support you with advancing
the ball.
You get to say what the goal is.
(03:24):
You get to say what the goal is.
You get to say what the ball is.
I am there to support you.
Now, if you give me permission,we have an agreement from time
to time I also can give you alittle bit of telling you what
to do, but that's only becauseyou gave me permission.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Right, right.
So it's pretty much advice.
You can take it or leave it.
You know what I mean.
It's like I can kind of giveyou some advice on what to do,
but not tell you what to do.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yes, and the thing about the our, our, our version
of coaching is that I'm actuallynot going to go to advice
giving right away.
I'm not.
I'm going to save that at thebottom of my toolbox.
My toolbox is click, click.
She's so clear and cute, she'sall blinged out.
(04:08):
So I'm digging to my blingedout toolbox, but advice giving
is way at the bottom.
So what's on top of that?
What's before that?
Waiting for CJ to tell me whatit is that he wants out of his
life?
Waiting for Andre to actuallycome up with some ideas of what
resources he can tap into toactually advance that ball to
get what he wants.
(04:28):
Before I go and pull out, hey,I think you should do this.
Hey, I actually used to be amanager and this is what I did
back when I was a manager.
So and I struggle with that inthe beginning of my coaching
career I've been a certifiedcoach for over a decade and I
struggled because I was aconsultant and I also was a
(04:49):
director of HR.
We told people what to do, likethat was my thought.
So it was a big, big mindsetshift for me.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Okay, so yeah, coach, coach, lady and mentor the
words that are like thrownaround.
You know like.
You know, everybody's not alady.
You know what?
The words that are thrownaround?
Everybody's not a lady.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Lady is different, you can see it when it comes to
the door, and I like to add onking and queen as well.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's a term that's thrown around to everybody yeah,
we're from New York, soeverybody's calling each other
king and queen.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You ain't the king.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah, I said I was going to step on some toes,
y'all.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
This is what we do.
You got to call it what it is.
So let's talk about the journeythat got you from A to B.
So, like you started off, yousaid you was a manager and all.
So what was the shift that saidyou know what?
I'm going to go ahead and go inthis direction and open up my
business and have my business bethis, Basically trying to say
(05:55):
Sophia, tell the audience whoyou are.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
That got you where you are right now.
Well, I am the way that I cameinto this work.
I actually was doing coaching.
I worked for the federalgovernment.
My longest stint was at theWhite House.
We won't name which presidentand vice president, but anyway I
worked at the White House for awhile and then my longest stint
was at the I got to tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I'm sorry there's so many questions I got.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
You was on the other team, yeah you was on the other
team.
You was on the other team.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I did not say that.
No no no, actually, I do notmind sharing.
I was a former director ofFirst Impressions that's the
title that was given to me and Iworked for the Clinton Gore
campaign, specifically for AlGore, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Well, all right, I thought you were talking about
that I thought you were talkingabout my foot.
I was about to say whoa, whatare we doing with this?
What is it?
45y, five or whatever, four orfive, but go ahead, I'm sorry.
I mean I interrupt you.
I can share that.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I was doing coaching, but it wasn't called that.
The coaching industry is stillrelatively young it's only about
30 years old and I just didn'tknow that that's what I was
doing.
And then a sorority sisterShout out to Delta Sigma Theta
was doing.
And then a sorority sistershout out to Delta Sigma Theta.
A sorority sister shared withme that she had made some like
serious changes in her life andI could actually tell like
(07:13):
something was different abouther.
I was like what are you doing?
There's something differentabout you.
I could just tell that she hada more positive outlook related
to her life and she said, oh,I've been working with a coach
and I'm like what, who she'slike?
Well, you should just talk tohim.
I got on a call with her coachand literally 10 minutes into
(07:34):
the conversation, I was likeyou're hired.
Because I was blown away by how, with his support, I was able
to like to hone in on my issues,my barriers, what was stopping
me, my self-saboteurs, likeliterally in minutes.
And I was like, okay, I want totry this out some more.
(07:54):
And then that coach introducedme to coach training, invited me
to a coach training program,in-person coach training program
where I got to actually observecoach training students
coaching being coached.
30 minutes into thatobservation I turned to him and
whispered how do I sign up, howdo I enroll?
(08:14):
And I literally paid sixteenthousand five hundred dollars to
enroll that day in coachtraining and I went to a year
long coach training program inthe wonderful state of New York.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Nice Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No cool.
So let me ask, because you know, um, if I come to you, let's
just say, like we'll walkthrough a session, like, say,
I'll come to you and I say, allright, sophia, you know, I want
to I don't know be an astronaut,I don't know, I'm just throwing
something out there, all right,how would you, how would you
interact with a client in termsof you know, this is the goal
that they're trying to achieveand what would you say?
What would you say in terms ofthis is what you need to do to
(08:52):
get there?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I appreciate you asking that because a lot of
coaches and I'm like I'm astraight shooter, okay so a lot
of untrained coaches what theywould do is, right away, start,
probably start sweating becausethey may not know anything about
becoming an astronaut, but theywill start sweating, start
thinking about what can I tellhim, what advice could I give
(09:14):
him, trying to think of a plan?
But because of my definition ofcoaching, where I relate to you
as perfectly capable and wholeand complete, I would just ask
you a lot of questions aboutthat dream, that goal.
Why is it important to you tobecome an astronaut?
So I'd want to know a lot moreabout you, why that's important
(09:36):
to you, what your why is aroundthat?
Well, before I get intooffering you any advice and in
fact in our first conversation Iprobably wouldn't offer any
advice whatsoever Just listen tothe person and just see where
they.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Do you have those people that their goals just
seem like.
I don't know.
If I'm like a, like you know120 pound guy coming to say I
want to be a professionalwrestler.
I mean, like do you got to tellthem?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I don't know if that's gonna work out you know
that that can get sticky, youcan get challenging.
Um, in the beginning of mycoaching career, um, I did make
some missteps and and I would umqualify or or invalidate
people's goals because I wouldlook at their dreams through the
(10:25):
filters of my fears.
Someone came to me and said, oh, I want to do this grandiose
thing.
I was looking and judging, ifyou will, their goal through my
experiences, through my fears,through what I thought was
possible, and thank goodness forformal coach training that
taught me not to do that, or atleast to turn down the volume on
(10:48):
that and just hear from themhow they feel.
Do they feel it's possible?
And even if they feel it'simpossible, what would have them
relate to it as more possiblethan not?
So, as a coach, you're nevergoing to hear me say to a client
(11:09):
what are you talking about?
Willis, you can't be that.
You want to be an Amazon numberone bestseller who would come
out as number one on Amazon.
You know how many books are onAmazon.
You want to be number one andyou've never written a book.
You don't even know what youwant to write the book about.
You still will not hear me saythat is not a valid goal for you
(11:33):
to have.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
You have to pack up the books on somebody and just
say, listen, I can't help you.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
There have been times I have said that, Andre, but
you know-.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Just close the folder on them.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's it.
Like I'm sorry, Let me give youmy business.
Let me give you my businesscolleagues card.
Yeah, there have been a fewtimes where the conversation has
gone that way, and but thosetimes it was mostly because the
people were relating to coachingas therapy.
(12:05):
So they were coming to methinking my job as a coach was
to support them around healingthings that happened in the past
and that is not my lane.
And so and I don't just, Idon't just kick them out, of
course, I still support themeven right then and say I will
tell them like hey, it soundslike this is more in the
therapeutic or counseling lane.
(12:27):
I actually have somerecommendations to some
therapists or counselors.
If you're willing, I'm happy toshare that with you.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So you did a.
What about Bob?
You just transferred over toanother person.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Here's my business card?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah yeah.
Is his business card?
Yeah, yeah.
So that's deep, because I knowa lot of people.
They hear these things, like Isay, all the time.
You hear it but you don't knowexactly what it is that you're
getting into.
So it's always smart to askthese questions.
You know what I mean and evenon your side of what you can and
cannot deal with, you know whatyou're qualified to deal with
(13:02):
or not In that training.
Do you work with any type oftherapists?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
you know that say, well, this is some techniques
that you could use, and all tohelp your clients.
Absolutely so in our coachtraining program.
Well, we have several coachtraining programs, but in all of
them I typically have acounselor or a therapist.
We have a couple of them on ourstaff.
I have them come in and do amodule, a training module,
around what therapy is, what iscounseling, what types of ways
(13:32):
do they actually support clients?
And in my training I'm one ofthe lead facilitators.
I do a whole module on whatcoaching is and what coaching is
not, and how is coaching andwhat we do different than what a
therapist does, different thanwhat a mentor does.
I get confused all the time withwhat we do, a mentor and how is
(13:55):
it different from a consultantand what a consultant does.
And I've heard time and timeagain the light bulbs that go
off when we do this training areso loud like you can literally
hear.
You know the students like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait.
So wait a minute.
So I don't have to understandor know a whole lot or be an
(14:18):
expert in counseling If theclient brings up some type of
counseling topic.
No, it's not your job, it's notyour lane, and what I hear
oftentimes a lot of theepiphanies that our students get
is they then start to figureout.
Their job as coach is a loteasier than they thought it was.
(14:43):
Coach is a lot easier than theythought it was.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
It's a lot easier because they don't have to be
the expert and they don't haveto perform.
And you know, something thatyou say interesting was I didn't
realize, until you actuallysaid it, how many categories
there are mentors, counselors,consultants.
You know it's like wow, I'venever really thought about how
many lanes there are it's a lotof.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It's a lot of carpetbagging in that field yeah
, it is.
It is because it's like you knowsome people like you're sitting
there looking at them, like,like you don't, like I'm looking
at you and I'm hearing all theaccolades and different things
that come along with you.
So I mean then I can sit backand say, all right, she's
successful, I can listen to her.
You know I mean.
But then I can sit back and say, all right, she's successful, I
can listen to her.
You know what I mean.
But then there's other peoplethat you're looking at like,
come on, man, like I got thesame thing you got.
I mean I can't take advice.
(15:30):
Well, I guess you can takeadvice from anybody, but you
know, I mean I'm not going topay you to coach me, you know,
and you're not doing much betterthan I am.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I mean first, it's just like they say about like
drug counselors.
They say that how can you be adrug counselor if you've never
been on drugs?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
You know, how can you , how can you connect, and I
imagine that there are stillways you know.
Under, as you said, there'sstill value or benefit that you
can get from folks.
But what I want from a coach isI don't need for my coach to
have weathered all the stormsthat I've weathered in order to
support me around weathering myown, but I do need my coach to
(16:10):
have weathered some storms, orat least a storm is exactly,
exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So now, if we go on to a other space of that, like I
know, this is just, like youknow, you might be career
guidance on this.
But what about everyday life?
Like you know, living, if Icould say, the best life you can
possibly live, living in yourauthentic self um, tell us about
that.
Like you have people that comeand ask you well, you know,
(16:37):
sophia, this is, you know, notmore or less like career driven
goals, but this is what I'mtrying to achieve in life.
You know, out of my life, whatare examples of that that you
can give our audience, becausewe have a lot of people that you
know might come to you for thatas well.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Well, you know what I ?
What I've noticed over, youknow, all these years I've been
doing this work, is a lot oftimes people come to coaching
because they actually don'tbelieve they can have what they
want.
Why am I getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Uh-oh hold on.
Are you about to cry on thismicrophone?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I felt something.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay, don't do that.
We'll make a meme out of you,man.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I've been looking for a freelancer to make some.
Yeah, a lot of times they comeand they actually don't really
believe they can have what it isthey want, and they're coming
to a coach or anotherparaprofessional to validate or
to give them permission to havewhat they want.
(17:43):
And so in my work with myclients, I support them first of
all on getting clear, clearabout what you want.
And a lot of times people willnot even allow themselves to
dream that big because theircontext is it's never worked
before or their context is well,I came from this certain
(18:06):
neighborhood and that justdoesn't happen in my environment
.
So how is it that I couldpossibly do this or be this?
And one of the things that'sthat's most helpful in the work
that we do is to just allow theclient to first of all dream.
Can you dream Like if there wasnothing holding you back?
(18:28):
Money's not an object,resources, nothing.
What is it that you want?
And I've been really fascinatedwith how much people struggle
over actually articulating thatright, because a lot of times
they've been told they can'thave it.
I mean, I was raised in SouthCentral LA.
(18:49):
Shout out what's up.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Oh yeah, well, hold on, she's the real deal, folks.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That's the other American Vietnam.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
On the other side, you know, don't have this cool
experience, don't have this coolexperience.
So back then, if I had gone toa coach and a coach asked me
what it is I want to do or whois it that I want to be in this
world, my realm of possibilityprobably would have been very
small.
Well, actually many times itwas.
(19:24):
But you know, thank goodnessfor a praying grandmother, thank
goodness for prayinggrandmother, thank goodness for
having people in my life thattaught me you are in this
environment, but you're not ofthis environment, so you
actually can do something evenoutside this environment.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, I do experience that a lot with clients who
come to me and also coachingstudents who come to me and who
don't believe that they couldsupport somebody in having what
they really desire.
What happens when that personthat you're coaching, like they
just don't do the work?
Like how do you get them to geton track?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
and do what they have to do.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Seeing that, look right there, yeah you saw me
laughing right there, saw that.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
What I have heard myself say a lot in some
coaching sessions, especiallywhen they're checking me out.
We're just now starting, maybeI'm doing a sample coaching
session with them so they cantry me out.
I also say to them I'm checkingyou out too, because not
everybody is my client, and Ialso say oftentimes I can't want
(20:40):
your dream more than you do.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Please say that again .
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I can't, I cannot want your dream more than you do
.
Exactly, I want your dream morethan you do.
Guess who's doing the work?
I'm doing the work, I'm doingthe heavy lifting and you know,
one of my favorite things isthat, that easy button.
You know you push it and saysthat was easy, that's how I want
(21:05):
to live my life.
You know you push it and saysthat was easy, that's how I want
to live my life.
I want my personal and myprofessional life to be easy.
So it wouldn't be an easy life,an easy career as a coach if I
am like holding on and strivingand grinding so that your dream
can become reality and yousitting over there and you're
not doing the work.
And so what I suggest that ourcoaching students do and coaches
(21:28):
that I mentor, is that may notbe the time for that person to
really invest in coaching.
Yeah, just may not be the time,or I may not be the coach for
them.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, and that's the same thing that Brian was saying
when we interviewed him is that, you know, it might not have
been that particular time forthat person?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
You know, and so you just got to hold off, I guess,
and wait and see what they do.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
You know, or they?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
can wait and see what they want to do.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
That's kind of deep because that's I mean I come
from a spiritual background, soI kind of look at that like
church.
You know what I mean.
Like you know, like you cantalk somebody into you know,
like yo, this is what we shoulddo and this is God and this is
the scriptures and things likethat.
But until they actually want tocome in, you know and do the
work themselves, then it's untilyou know, it's on them, bottom
(22:17):
line, it's on them basically,absolutely.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You know what the famous quote is I can lead a
horse to water, but I can't makehim drink.
That's right.
So, as a coach, I can supportyou and get into the water, but
I can't control whether or notyou drink or not.
And here's the thing that Ishare with coaching students a
lot is don't be so quick to giveup on people.
(22:42):
Also, let's say that person,given the scenario, andre, that
you just gave, like they're notreally committed.
They're kind of kicking the canevery week, you know, every
coaching session.
They still haven't done all thethings they said they were
going to do.
I don't necessarily throw in thetowel on them, but I start
getting curious and asking themquestions and maybe even making
a reflection to them about whatI noticed.
(23:04):
Hey, sharon, I noticed that youhave been talking about
starting your road of dating.
You've been talking about itfor the last four coaching
sessions.
How many dates have you been on?
Zero.
What got in the way, right?
(23:27):
I didn't expect to do a littlecoaching demo here, but here we
go.
Yeah, what got in the way ofyou not having what it is that
you said you were committed to?
Right?
So I didn't tell her what to do.
All I did was reflect what Isee.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
That's right, kind of like a soft calling to the
carpet of your foolishness.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Exactly, yeah, I hear you Exactly, most people don't
believe work brings success.
You know what I mean.
Like I think most people think,like it happened to you by
accident, like things got betterby accident.
You know, I say that because Ithink I was one of those people
at one time, like even like mestarting out at church and I
remember seeing like people withgood families and you know, um,
I'm seeing brother, sister andthey daughter and they son and
(24:13):
they go into church together andthey have a family and I'm
thinking like man, I would liketo have that.
You know.
I mean like, how do I go aboutdoing that, you know, and uh,
getting better in my life andstuff like that.
So, but again, things gotbetter for me.
You know I what I mean, becauseI did some work.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Because you did the work.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah right.
But a lot of people don'tbelieve it works, the work works
.
Oh my God.
You know that was one of myfirst hashtags.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Really For years.
Wow, oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I better go trademark that though.
You should yeah.
Hold on hold.
On hold on.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I might have a career in this thing Coaching the
coach.
What's wrong with you?
That's right.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I done saved a lot of undesirables in my life.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You got to do the work.
The work works and it does.
It's, it works it works.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So how fulfilling is that for you, like as a as a
person, when you see the successyou know um, the success of one
of your clients, you know andyou sit back and you're looking
like, wow, I remember when youcame in and you were this way.
Now you walking, walk in thatway.
Well, how do you feelpersonally?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Oh my gosh.
I can tell you all that I amclear that the work I do Is God
ordained and I was purposed todo this work because sometimes I
literally feel like you know, Idon't always share this with a
(25:50):
whole lot of people becausepeople are like you're weird,
which that's okay.
It sometimes feels like anout-of-body experience when I'm
literally in that coachingsession and even coach training.
When I'm training and I'mtalking to these coaches and I'm
training them around, dwellingin possibility, and I see them
(26:11):
go from here like, oh, there'sno way, I'm not good enough, I'm
not going to be a strong enoughcoach to by the time they
graduate and they're like I cancoach anybody, right?
It is an out-of-body experienceto see people actually get an
epiphany or get awareness thatthey are the cause of what they
(26:34):
have or don't have in theirlives.
And they actually have somestake in the ground, they have
control, a lot of control overwhat they actually have in their
life, or they don't see Likethey have that it is.
It is, I'm addicted to it.
I'll put it that way yeah, I'maddicted now and helping people?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
do you find a little piece of yourself and a lot of
your clients like, say,sometimes you'd be talking to
yourself?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
every single one, every single client, and the
majority of my clients are don'tlook like me.
A lot of them don't look like mebecause I work with a lot of
C-suite executives, mostly inthe IT arena.
A lot of times they don't looklike me and it's still an out of
body experience to even seethese people, these executives
(27:25):
who have this.
This definition of what itmeans to be a CEO or what it
means to be the senior VP isthis way.
I must show up.
This way.
I can't show up as my authenticself, because this is what it
looks like to be a C-suiteexecutive, To see them go from
that mindset and swing thependulum all the way the other
(27:47):
way and actually get thisawareness that they can actually
still be successful as aC-suite executive while being
themselves.
See, when I was in corporate, Ididn't have that relationship.
I was told, especially being aBlack woman in corporate America
also.
You have to be this way.
(28:07):
You cannot go into thiscorporation being your authentic
self, and many times, manyyears, I wasn't, I wasn't.
So you say, how does it feel?
It feels darn good, it feelsgreat to work for myself too, so
that I can show up as myauthentic self.
Speaking of that, I had someonesay to me you got to stop
(28:30):
showing up the way you'reshowing up on social media.
One moment you're twerking ordancing or having a good time
and the next moment you're on amic speaking to 150,000 people.
Those corporations are notgoing to hire you by you being
your playful self.
And what I said to her, to mycolleague, is the corporations
(28:53):
that hire me and I'm proud Ihave a whole list the
corporations who hire me.
They know me, they know who Iam.
They're hiring my authenticself.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
They're hiring you.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
They're hiring me and those that don't, because they
judge me and say, oh my gosh,she's too much energy, she's too
much of this or too much ofthat.
She's talking about thatanointed stuff I will never know
, Right, cause they won't hireme.
How would I ever know?
So I'm going to, I'm going tobet and keep banking on being my
(29:24):
authentic self and working withthose companies.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
So let me ask what are some tips you can give our
listeners in terms of being yourauthentic self and doing the
work Like?
What are a few tips withoutgiving away the store, Cause I
know you still got a business torun.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Well, I will.
I will first say to compare usto despair, to compare us to
despair, to compare is todespair.
Stop looking on social mediafor who you should be and how
you should show up in a space.
Stop comparing yourself withthose people.
(30:01):
Those people are not you, theywere not giving your unique
gifts and talents.
So to compare to despair,sometimes I have to come off of
you know, don't watch the news,don't go on social media and
remind myself of who I am andthat my unique gifts, that I am
enough.
Secondly, I also wouldencourage people to get more
(30:24):
information about theirsaboteurs and the way that they
self-sabotage.
How do you sabotage yourselffrom being your highest and
greatest selves?
And it can show up in so manydifferent ways, so many
different ways.
And in our coach trainingschool we do a lot of work, a
(30:47):
lot of training of the coachingstudents on how to support
clients around their saboteurswhen their saboteurs get really
loud and when their innercritics are saying girl, who do
you think you are?
Well, you want a promotion.
Do you feel like you juststarted this job and now you're
talking about being a seniormanager?
(31:08):
Right, we have tools and wetrain them to use tools and I
use tools all the time in mywork to support that client with
maybe taking a look and seeingthere might be a different way.
Or those self-saboteurs thatare talking in my ear.
They may not be truthful.
They may not be truthful.
(31:30):
So get to know more about yourunique gifts and get to more,
get to know more about yourbarriers and how you may
self-sabotage, and then I'll sayand share that with your coach
Okay, so the coach can hold youaccountable.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Yeah, so the coach can hold you accountable.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah, so the coach can hold you accountable that's
very important.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I think that's pretty much it says like you got to
get rid of your a lot of times.
You got to get rid of yoursurroundings, like you got to
start all over, you know, I mean, and like get the people around
you that are going the samedirection that you're going, you
know andre, I tell you that hasbeen a.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
How do I say this?
I've been on that journey for awhile.
Um, I started to notice that Iwas surrounding myself with,
with people who were notnecessarily where I wanted to be
, but it was safe to besurrounded by those people.
(32:34):
Here we go.
I'm totally outing myself now.
It was safe to be around.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
That's all of us.
What you're about to say is allof us pretty much, Thank you.
It's the people you love.
You feel comfortable around.
You know what I mean, butthey're not going the same way
you're going.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
They're not going, they're not rowing in the same
direction.
And what I discovered not justin coaching, but also in therapy
I'm a big, big supporter oftherapy and coaching working
together in tandem what Idiscovered is I kept surrounding
myself with those type ofpeople because it made it easier
(33:09):
for me to put my light under abushel, it made it easier for me
to downplay my gifts because Ifelt uncomfortable standing out
from the crowd.
So why don't I just keepstanding in this crowd and not
standing out?
And then I came to the point inmy life where I'm like I'm not
(33:32):
this anymore, like I have somegoals, I have some things.
You know, if I'm being honestwith myself, I don't want this,
I want this life.
And I got a lot of support, youknow, from my coaches.
I have more than one therapistmy clergy from around
surrounding myself with peoplewhose lives I wanted to emulate.
(33:54):
I wanted what they have Right,I wanted to experience what they
were experiencing.
And it's been tough.
Like I said, I'm still on thejourney.
I'm still on the journey.
I'm still doing some housecleaning.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Aren't we all.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
That's never ending.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
That's never ending.
Yeah, that's never going tostop.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Never ending.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
So let me talk about your books here.
So you are a published author,don't?
Speaker 3 (34:19):
think I wasn't going to touch on that.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
All right, so yeah, so you have what?
How many books so far?
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I now have eight books and I'm working on the
ninth.
Yeah, eight time publisher.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, and you have one that says Fierce and
Vulnerable, a Colored Girl'sTruth, trials and Triumphs and
that debuted.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
That's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I was going to ask you which one out of the eight
was your favorite, I'll say alleight of them.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
But that is a favorite of mine because to me,
that fierce vulnerability bookcould be the poster for the work
that I do as a coach.
So here I am.
I didn't even consider myself awriter, didn't like to write,
(35:08):
but I was given a directdownload and I know your
listeners.
Many can relate to what thatmeans.
I was given a direct downloadto go put this story in a book
and I'm like wait a minute.
So, first of all, not only do Inot like to write, I don't feel
like I'm great as a writer and Idefinitely can't write fiction.
(35:29):
But you want me to go write afiction book and I did it.
I did it.
I said I will be obedient and Itook the stories of a lot of
the women that I have surroundedmyself with and I took a lot of
my own story and I createdthese four black women and I put
it down on paper.
(35:50):
And I kid you not, when Ipublished that book on Amazon,
it went to the number one slot,the number one new release for
books by women and plays bywomen overnight.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Nice, yeah, I was.
I was just looking at that, wow, and it's.
You know, for a person I'venever aspired to write.
I never thought that this is abut see, you're a victim of your
own success, because it's thesame thing that you deal with
your clients is that you mightthink it's unachievable but it's
there, the whole time.
You're just helping to pull itout a little bit right.
So also, too, you also haveEase and Flow, a 31-day journal
(36:31):
to clear and connected andcourageous.
Clear, connected and courageousabout life.
To get clear and collected.
Clear, collected and courageousabout life.
Aside from writing tonguetwisters, I mean, how was that
experience writing that book foryou?
See, but it helps you rememberbecause you got to keep saying
it over and over.
Yeah, you got to keep saying itover and over.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
You got to keep saying it over and over.
Well, I will tell you that thatjournal that was my very first
book.
Actually, same thing, divine,download, go write this journal,
go create this journal.
That journal was actuallycreated in the hospital, while I
was sitting in a recliner andmy husband was in the hospital
(37:10):
bed having, uh, just recoveredfrom his first brain surgery.
My husband, um, unfortunately,um encountered a stroke and then
a brain tumor was discovered.
I will say he's doing great.
He's doing great, that'swonderful.
Yes, and I love journalingalready, so I would always
(37:32):
journal.
But in that space and time ofmy life I just like looking at a
blank page to journal.
I'm like I don't even knowwhere to start.
I had so many emotions.
Can you imagine so many thingsgoing on?
I'm like what am I supposed towrite?
And I said you know, thatdoesn't work.
(37:53):
I need something else.
And the direct download I gotwas go create what you need
right now.
Go create what you need.
And I'm like, okay, well, Ineed a book that's going to ask
me some questions, at least toget me started, maybe some
journal prompts or something.
I need a book that's going toask me some questions, at least
to get me started, maybe somejournal prompts or something.
I need a book that's going toask me, that's going to remind
me of who I am.
You know a place for me towrite down every day who I am,
(38:16):
because in this environment ofdealing with a hundred medical
professionals who are telling methat this ain't looking good
like, I need people to remind me.
I need myself to be able toremind me.
And so from that I created thisjournal, literally sitting in
the hospital recliner and calleda graphic designer.
I said here's my idea.
(38:36):
I know it sounds cuckoo forCocoa Puffs.
I just need you to go, takethis and make it look like a
book had never written a book,done anything.
And she said, sophia, I'm goingto go one step further.
But she didn't do this workeither.
She said I'm going to go onestep further.
I'm actually going to hold yourhand and you and I are going to
(38:56):
figure out how to self-publishthis journal on Amazon.
And it became an Amazonbestseller in less than two
weeks.
Wow in less than two weeks.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Wow, oh, look at this .
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Listen.
I had a horrible life thatturned around too.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I need to write me something.
Man, that's the thing you do.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
But not to say you had a horrible life.
But we come from you knowhumble beginnings and stuff like
that Sure.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, we had experiences.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Yeah experiences we had experiences and that's the
piece you all asked me earlierabout the authenticity piece.
That is what people want.
They want to know that they arenot so different than you.
They want to know that you canrelate to them and resonate with
you, know their fears and theiraccomplishments and things that
(39:47):
stop them.
They want to know you're real.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, and then coming to a person like yourself is
just wonderful, like you said,in the real part of it it's like
, you know, if I'm looking atyou and I'm walking in a door
and I haven't experienced whatyou experienced, it's going to
be hard for me to say to you Ican't do this and I can't do
that, when I'm talking to youand you've done so much, you
know, coming from yourcircumstances, you know.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Yes and absolutely.
And it's like you know, ifyou're walking in the door and
I'm supposed to trust you andI'm supposed to hire you, in
order to hire you I have to beable to trust you.
And the best way for me tolearn or to see that I can trust
you is by you being yourself,by you being yourself.
And you know, I just want to, Iwant to relieve so many coaches
(40:32):
like there are hundreds ofthousands of coaches on this
planet and when I see them onthe internet, social media, like
sometimes I literally just I'min pain for them because they're
working so hard, because theyhave the concept that they have
to be perfect.
Not only do I have to haveweathered what you, the concept
that they have to be perfect,not only do I have to have
weathered what you weathered, Ihave to have come out on the
(40:54):
side of perfection and I'm likeno, no, no, no, no, no.
I want to scream it from therooftops.
No, they do want you to havesome expertise, but, most
importantly, they want to knowthat you are comfortable enough,
even sharing that your weatherthe store right.
That you're not Right, I tellyou.
It makes my job easy.
I was so grateful when Ifinally learned that in coach
(41:18):
training that I didn't have tobe perfect, didn't have to be
perfect, but I can still supportpeople.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
You can still support people.
So there's nothing wrong withthat and it's good because, like
you say, you can you learn itfrom them as well as they learn
it from you, and you know, Iguess, a part of you grows every
time you sit down and you talkto somebody.
It's like I can see some ofmyself in you yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
And I don't have to perform because you know I have
one client.
Of course, I can't give awaythe confidences, but let's just
say this client is theequivalent of like the third or
fourth person in command atHewlett Packard.
I'm just making this up Right?
I know how to turn on mycomputer and turn it off.
(42:03):
You see I'm having technicaldifficulties.
So I am not an IT specialist,IT specialist what I shared with
him when we first startedworking together.
I said I want to be clear I amnot an IT expert, have no desire
to be one.
However, I do have a little bitof experience with the industry
that you're in because I usedto be the director of HR for
very large IT organizations.
(42:23):
So I know how to hire youpeople, but I am not an expert
on mainframes.
I don't even know what thatmeans.
And I'm saying this to him aswe're starting beginning to work
together to make it clear andto level, set expectations
around the work that I do.
I'm not coming in here as an ITexpert.
I'm coming here as an expert incoaching and is supporting you
(42:47):
with having what it is that youwanted, and I'm so grateful that
I do get the opportunity towork with a lot of executives
and I think the reason that theykeep coming back and they refer
me is because of my willingnessto say I am not an expert in
your industry.
I'm not.
(43:08):
And those folks that you see outthere on the internet no shade
to the coaches.
First of all, you, a coach, youget snaps from me, but a lot of
the coaches you see on theinternet they are actually
consultants.
As a consultant, I am an expertin a certain area, so I
actually wear a hat as aconsultant as well.
(43:29):
When people hire me as aconsultant, I better be an
expert.
They're expecting me to come inand, you know, re-engineer some
processes for them.
They're hiring me as aconsultant, as a trainer, to
come in and do some type ofprofessional development
training with their teams.
I better know something, but asa coach, I don't have to be an
(43:50):
expert in that field.
Right, that's the biggestdifference, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Right and I think they come back to because of the
balance.
Like you have like a qualitywhere it's like you're down to
earth, you're very professional,but you're down to earth and
you know you make things inlayman terms, whereas you know
we can sit down and you knowyou're very professional, but
you're down to earth and youknow you make things in layman's
terms, whereas you know we cansit down and you know you're one
of those people that have thatvery strange quality, whereas,
like you can, you know, I usedto say this about Malcolm X
(44:18):
Malcolm X can stand in front ofan audience of people and he can
speak to the gutter person onthe corner and he can speak to a
college you know college gradand they both got, you know this
wonderful, you know wonderfulinformation.
You know what I mean.
So I think you have that kindof quality, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
I really appreciate that and you know, in the past I
wouldn't have been even beenable to receive what you just
said, andre oh yeah, go ahead,because I Tell me why, tell me
why.
Because I didn't relate tomyself as who you just described
, right, but because of thepower of work, as you said
(44:58):
earlier, doing the work, thework works because I've done so
much work over here, right, Ican hear that and not only hear
it, I can hear it and receive it.
And I also agree with you.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Well, you know, you know a lot of times, like you
said a lot of times, people maynot take it as a compliment, but
you know it's just kind of like.
You know I don't want to sayyou're my grandmother, nothing
crazy like that.
But when I speak, when I whenI'm, what I'm about to say is
like my grandmother can speak tothe funeral director in our
family.
She can speak to, you know, thejailbird.
(45:33):
She can speak to the person youknow that got several degrees
and she can make them all feellike you know they're five year
olds.
You know what I mean and theycan take some information.
So that's what I'm saying.
And then she has a very she's avery powerful person and she
doesn't even have.
You know, you know theeducation, that you know most of
the people that you know in ourfamily that she talks to.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
And she doesn't have to because she is being her
authentic self and using her Godgiven gifts, right, right, she
probably doesn't have to workhard to inspire people and have
people keep coming back to her.
They have to work hard toinspire people and have people
keep coming back to her, right?
My grandmother was a ministerand she owned restaurants and
(46:17):
there would be lines wrappedaround her building for people
waiting, not just for her food.
Her food was great.
It was great, granny.
Thank you, her food was great.
But they were wrapped aroundthe building to just have a few
minutes to come and talk to her,for the very reason you just
described, because she didn'tjudge them.
She could relate to anyone.
(46:38):
So you have politicians comingin all the way to somebody who
was homeless and she couldrelate to every single person.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
So you have some good space, sophia, so I'm grateful.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
So I'm grateful.
I think I got that from her,that's good, that's a good thing
.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
All right.
So before we wrap, it's twothings.
I want you to let everybodyknow where they can reach you,
where they can get your books,which I'm going to put all this
in the description folks, thewebsite, the books and
everything.
But again, I'm not going totell you a story.
So let everybody know.
Let everybody know where theycan reach you, how they can get
your books.
You know, hire you for speakingengagements?
(47:18):
Go ahead and let it rip, sophia.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Thank you so much.
So I'm on LinkedIn as SophiaCasey.
You can always find me there.
Most places is going to saySophia Casey MCC, which stands
for master certified coach,cause I'm always going to put
that acronym behind my name,cause I'm proud of that.
There aren't many that looklike me and there are only 2,100
of us in the world, so you'realways going to see Sophia Casey
MCC.
And then I would.
I have three companies, but Iwould direct them to our coach
(47:47):
training school, which is, I see, li Rising dot com, and there
they can find all the things,all the things about OK, and
also can you impart some type ofon our audience, some type of
encouraging words?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Words of wisdom, something that you can, you know
that you don't mind letting itgo for free on this one.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I don't mind.
I don't mind giving away somefreebies.
So what I would say is you knowa lot of times what comes up in
coaching conversations and thework that I do is around people
not being in relationship orgood relationships with their
(48:34):
coworkers, colleagues, theirmanagers, their boo bae
honeysuckles Right.
And one of the quotes that I wasgiven years and years ago
literally transformed the waythat I relate to people,
especially when you're in aconflict or something and in
(48:54):
these political times weprobably all in conflict type of
conversations, and that quoteis you can be right or you can
be in relationship.
You can be in relationship.
You can be right or you can bein relationship, and what that
(49:15):
means in a nutshell, which oneare you committed to?
Are you committed to thisrelationship and being connected
with this person heart to heart, soul to soul, or are you more
committed to being right?
And so when I ask myself thatand I'm in a conflict or some
type of tough conversation if Ivote for I'm committed to the
(49:35):
relationship, I probably wouldsay things differently to that
other person.
On the other end, I probablywould show up differently.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
That's a good one.
Right there, it definitely isAlright.
So if you walk through yourlife and never helped anybody,
then you haven't lived fredhampton, and I say that because
obviously, sophia, you've helpeda lot of people in your work,
all right, and I want you tocontinue, or we want you to
(50:08):
continue to keep doing that, allright.
Speaker 3 (50:10):
So, with that being said, you know you always got an
open platform here.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Anytime you want to come on and you know, discuss,
next time you publish a book youcome on and yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I would love that.
Thank you, I love talking toyou all.
It's, it's ease and flow.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
That's right, that's how it's supposed to be.
I got to applaud that before.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
All right.
So, with that being said, folks, I'm going to go ahead and let
you get our handles.
Thank you once again, sophiaCasey, mcc.
All right, the only one mypodcast is available on all
major platforms to stream yourpodcast on.
All right, the Only One MicPodcast is available on all
major platforms to stream yourpodcasts on.
Also, check out our Only OneMic Podcast YouTube channel to
watch the past and currentepisodes, and please don't
forget to rate the show andsubscribe folks.
(50:57):
Also check us out on Instagramand Twitter at TheOnlyOneMicP1.
Facebook and LinkedIn atTheOnlyOneMicPodcast.
Facebook and LinkedIn at theOnly One Mike Podcast.
You can email us attheonlyonemike00 at gmailcom or
call us with your comments andquestions at 302-367-7219.
(51:17):
And we might even play it onthe show.
We thank you once again for yourtime, sophia Casey.
Continue this wonderful work,thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you All right, and weencourage you, the listener, to
speak your truth quietly andclearly and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant,because they too have their
story to tell.
(51:37):
So until next time, please keepin mind if you never had to run
from the Ku Klux Klan, then youshouldn't have to run from a
black man.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
Peace, peace.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
I love it.
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