July 7, 2025 • 31 mins
Ron Souers is an ADHD advocate, podcast host, and author dedicated to empowering adults with ADHD to embrace their differences and unlock their true potential.
Connect with Ron:
Don't Mind Me, I Just Have ADHD!
Website: https://dadhdwss.com/
In this episode, the host shares the emotional journey of an impending move to Massachusetts, touching upon the chaos and mixed feelings involved. They introduce Ron, a factory worker with ADHD who started a podcast called 'Don't Mind Me, I’m Different.' Ron discusses his late diagnosis of ADHD, workplace challenges, and how mindfulness practices have helped him manage depression and stay organized. The conversation also delves into Ron's coaching program aimed at helping introverted individuals with ADHD become more socially confident. Both the host and Ron emphasize the importance of routines, positive self-talk, and the therapeutic value of open conversations about mental health.
01:38 Garage Sale and Decluttering
02:00 Introducing Ron and His Journey
03:36 Ron’s ADHD and Depression Story
09:17 Mindfulness and Routine
13:57 Podcasting and Helping Others
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
We have one week until we closeon our house and we start our
trek across the United States toget to the East coast.
We're moving to Massachusetts.
We are so excited and we areterrified, and there are so many
emotions that go into this, andI was thinking about it
yesterday and how when peopletalk about something being hard.
(00:25):
you don't naturally start tothink about what does hard mean?
Heart means that you feel souncomfortable, you wanna run
away as fast as possible.
But when something is already inmotion, there's nowhere to go.
But to sit with theuncomfortable, to sit with the
feelings that come along withthe uncomfortable, there's
excitement, there's sadness,there's nervousness.
(00:47):
There's.
The unknown, the feeling of justreally not knowing what's next.
Our routine is out the window.
Nothing has a place in our homeanymore, especially as we let
things go.
Not only do I not know where tofind things, but my husband
doesn't know where to findthings, and we're losing our
minds just a little bit.
Everything we do plan on takingwith us, we put into our front
(01:09):
room the office that you mayhave seen in a video before.
It does not look like thatanymore and we are slowly
letting go.
We are emptying out cabinets oneby one, and I'm so proud of all
of the work I have done to getto where I am right now because.
We're able to make some reallygood conscious decisions on
(01:29):
getting things out of our housebecause we've been doing this
for so long.
It's not something that we'restarting from scratch just
because we're moving.
It's something we've been doingfor years.
I did get complimented this lastweekend on how organized my
garage sale was.
I was very proud of that.
But part of it too is because wehad.
So little still to leave outthere.
(01:51):
And in fact, our garage sale wasreally the stuff that we
would've brought with us in theevent that we didn't try to sell
everything at the end here.
Let's go into talking about thisepisode.
I recorded this way back inMarch.
My friend Ron and I met becausehe had been doing some research
about A DHD, found my podcastand included some information I
had shared on his website.
(02:12):
I was so flattered him and Istarted chatting.
I was interviewed on his podcastand I invited him to be on mine
as well.
I love his story.
What's really neat about him isfirst of all, he works full-time
in a factory, but then hedecided that he wanted to start
a podcast and it's called, don'tMind Me, I'm Different, and he's
also working on becoming acoach.
(02:33):
He's a prosocial coach, so hehelps people with A DHD become
more social.
He also talks a lot aboutdepression and how that can
affect us on a regular basis.
So I'm really excited tointroduce you to him.
He is the type of person thatloves to find the positive in
people and is just reallyinterested in having
(02:54):
conversations and the way thathe describes in the podcast
today.
Kid-like Conversations where wejust naturally ask questions
that people wanna know thatwe've forgotten how to ask those
questions.
I'm so excited to introduce youto him.
So without further ado, here'smy interview with Ron.
Ron, welcome to the podcast.
(03:15):
Hey, Megan.
I'm thrilled and honored to beon here.
Yeah, I definitely am flatteredand appreciate that.
Heck yeah.
I'm so excited to chat with youa little bit about your journey,
talk to you about your podcast,and maybe dive into a little bit
of how depression affects uswith A DHD and at least some of
(03:35):
our experiences.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour journey.
How did you discover you had aDHD.
yeah, it was for me, I didn'tknow that I had it until about
two, two and a half years ago.
And people had kept telling methat I needed to slow down my
whole life and, I just thoughtthey.
(03:57):
didn't know what they weretalking about.
I couldn't sit still and Ididn't know why and I just
thought that was like normal.
So what ended up happening was Igot to the point where I was
getting written up for safety.
Violations at my job one, I hadlike almost crushed my hand with
a power lift.
(04:19):
One of those power lift jacks.
Because somebody had said myname while I was, moving that I
was trying to walk it off.
I'm fine.
I ended up having to say'causenothing had seriously happened,
but it became an incident.
And then, I ended up droppingtwo totes and it could have been
(04:39):
a lot more serious.
They're like huge totes, like300 gallon totes.
Luckily I had a person in mylife who was like, you need to
talk to your.
Primary care about this andschedule an appointment.
And I was like, you know what?
I might lose my job like this issomething that I need to look
at.
Even in that session, with myprimary care, she didn't really
(05:03):
want to point towards A DHD andat that time I thought there was
a difference between a DD and ADHD.
I was very confused and she waslike, you know what?
here's a list of ofpsychologists.
And it was like.
A huge list of different types.
And I had to figure out by myown research who to call and who
(05:27):
to set up.
And I was like, at that point Ineed the help right now.
I was pretty sure I had a DHD, Ifinally was able to see my
therapist and, confirm that and,those sessions in the beginning
were very eye-opening, but alsovery like when he said to slow
down and do nothing, that waslike a knee jerk reaction for
(05:50):
me.
I was like, that's not somethingI want to do.
But I've been able to practicethat in my life, and it has
really helped me to give mespace, and be okay with where
I'm at and with things nothappening the way I would like
'em to.
(06:11):
So I really like the way thatyou described that and before we
started recording, we talked alittle bit about that.
I was sharing how yesterday Ijust felt so dysregulated and
all of these things that Inormally go to, to practice
mindfulness or to get myselfback into my conscious brain
instead of going down thisrabbit hole of doom.
They weren't working because Iwas just so focused on what was
(06:34):
going wrong and it is thisconstant practice.
And the more you do it, the moreyou get familiar with that
practice, the more you know thatit is in your back pocket.
And even if you don't wanna doit in real time, you seek it out
anyway because it's gonnasupport you yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
some days where I'm like, I, doI even have this?
(06:56):
Like I'm so good with I'm socalm and patient, but it's like
I.
Days like today where we weretalking about, I just want to
burn everything down.
That I've worked so hard becauseit's not where I thought it
would be, or where I imagined itcould be, even though I've never
done it, something like thatbefore.
So it's like a window inside themind of what it's like to have a
(07:18):
DHD.
Yeah.
Like normal people don't Justdecide to light things on fire
like that they worked on,they're like, let's give it some
more time, honestly, it makes mefeel a little bit better knowing
that other people are feelingthat way too.
Because, you don't show up thesame every day.
You show up with who you arethat day, right?
Like we're one big chemistryexperiment as one of my friends
(07:41):
would say.
Yeah.
And every day we show up alittle bit different in the
world that we live in and thejob that we have to go to, the
things that we have to take careof and.
We don't do well withconsistency.
Where do we find the continuity?
Where are we able to continue tocome back to showing up?
That's really powerful thatyou've been able to start this
podcast and continue putting outshows.
And you're past your seventhepisode, right?
(08:03):
Yeah, I actually just put outepisode 16 Yesterday, and it's
called, the Miracle Drug, howExercise and Diet really help to
regulate your A DHD.
It's one of the top things thatyou can do.
I've tried it in my life,anything that I put out on my
podcast, i've done the researchon that.
(08:24):
I'm not just putting out there'cause wow, this looks like
something cool that I should putout there.
I'm doing this to help otherpeople with, the A DHD and I
actually have somebody at mywork that's he said that, he
tells me like the voice that youhave.
you've put terms on the thingsthat I feel and it's it's that
(08:47):
kind of validation that helpsme, just a little bit to you
know, it's not about helping,thousands of people.
It's about really helping likein depth that one person.
Yeah.
When you're putting out podcastepisodes and managing,'cause you
work full-time during the weekas well.
(09:07):
Yeah.
And then also, buildingsomething on the side.
How do you keep yourselforganized and what are some of
the mindfulness practices thathelp you?
Yeah.
The biggest thing that reallyhelps me is is a routine, like
getting up and doing, like thesame thing and actually it
starts out at night.
'Cause I went from watching TVuntil two o'clock in the morning
(09:29):
after I got off work, now Idon't do that typically during
the week.
Usually maybe I might have oneday in the week where I watch
one show.
But then it gets me to thisplace where I'm going to bed
without watching tv, withoutlike those blue screens.
And then I get up and usually Igo for a walk.
(09:50):
I try to incorporate mindfulnessinto that walk, like just paying
attention to the walk, notthinking about what I gotta do
in the rest of the day.
Like even the steps orespecially the birds, like I
love, being curious about thebirds that are walking around
and the fact that.
I'm getting sunshine, which ishuge for depression.
(10:13):
In the morning,'cause I am not amorning person, or at least I
didn't think I was.
But now that I've been doingthis routine.
And like eating breakfast andthen, getting exercise.
Because when you get exercise,you actually have 10% to 15%
more ability.
After you get the exercise forabout two to four hours, so
(10:36):
you're more inclined to learnand absorb that information and
focus on it.
So I found that my optimal timeis between eight and 11.
at three hours spot is where Ican get the most done, where I'm
the most productive, that's whenI usually try to focus on the
things that I would like to doin the day.
(10:56):
And then I go to work and.
I usually try to take a break.
And do a formal practice ofmindfulness.
It could be really anythingfrom, there's like a loving
gratitude meditation and Iusually have it like sprinkled
throughout the day.
Like little reminders like withstickers especially with
(11:17):
breathing, to ground my practiceand the reality, it was like I'm
living a good life.
Like I may not like reallyenjoy, exactly where I'm at, but
I'm able to do things within myjob.
That make it enjoyable, likeputting stickers in random spots
to remind me and being curiousto see if those stickers will
(11:39):
actually stay there.
That's really cool because notonly are you doing that for
yourself, but you're spreadinghappiness in other ways because
other people are gonna see that.
Although like I know thatsometimes if someone tells me to
smile on the wrong day, I amlike, Nope.
Uhuh.
But I think it's so beautifulthat you're able to.
(11:59):
To do that.
That's so cool that you've foundthat works for you.
and thank you for asking thatquestion.
I've found, like even if I don'thelp anybody, but I'm focusing
on myself, so you take like theother side of the depression and
it's i'm gonna be depressed.
I'm not gonna do the things thatI want to do.
I'm gonna be behind, and noone's gonna know why it's gonna,
(12:22):
it steals your time.
It steals your joy.
It's a thief, but on the flipside of that, if I'm mindful.
Like I come in and all thepeople around me are gonna have
a different experience with whoI am that day just by trying to
be more mindful or noticingsomebody's strength.
(12:45):
That they're using in that day,it's called strength spotting.
So I try to compliment somebodyon what they're doing, if
they're being curious, like foryou, you're having perseverance
and creativity, and you'rereally showing that and it's
needed.
So those are the things that.
I'm really trying to incorporatein my life.
(13:05):
It doesn't always come out thatway, but it's like when I'm
feeling down, it's like I knowwho I can be.
And I'm trying to get back tothat place better, faster.
It's so cool.
Thanks.
No, I really love it.
'cause I think there's so manypeople out there that are
struggling with depression andstruggling with these negative
thoughts that they have aboutthemselves that it doesn't feel.
(13:28):
There's this other side of it,but I've struggled with
depression a lot.
During high school, college, inand out of it throughout
adulthood.
And it's been a struggle.
and I know you've been vocalabout it on your podcast too,
which I love because I think themore that we talk about it, the
more we can make it real.
It's a real thing that so manypeople struggle with.
(13:49):
And if we talk about it a littlebit more, we can help one
another get out of it and figureout.
What is beyond the depressionand what that looks like.
So can you share with us alittle bit about your journey?
I didn't realize just howdepressed I really was because
like a lot of people withdepression mask it and, deny it.
Oh, I'm not depressed becausethat's weak or whatever.
(14:11):
that is, but since I've beendoing mindfulness, it opens up
that, observation of it's okayto be depressed.
It's okay.
I'm not gonna fight this.
Because the more I fight it, theworse it's gonna get.
Sometimes I just gotta ride thatwave and be curious about okay,
what is this telling me aboutwho I am?
(14:34):
in the beginning talking aboutdepression on my podcast, it was
difficult,'cause it's it'sdepressing.
Yeah.
'Cause it's vulnerable.
It's yeah.
for me.
I love to talk about depression,when it's happening.
Because that is like one of thebest things I can do for myself
is to talk about it, and hearothers, especially when others
(14:55):
are bringing up their owndepression.
Because I'm like, yeah, thatthis opened the door that wasn't
there, and it's like.
It's crazy because like mostpeople like for you it's I see
you all the time and you'regreat and you're just, you're
full of joy and got great humorand and it's like, how can this
person be depressed?
(15:15):
And it's for me, it's some daysI'm on and I'm like, like the
other day I'm like learningSpanish and I'm like, really?
Me too.
Awesome.
That's so cool.
How long have you been learning?
Sorry.
We'll come back, but that's soneat.
Yeah, it's it's been threemonths, but like I, I went in
and I was like, pump for it and'cause I'm like learn, learning
(15:36):
this new stuff and I want topractice it.
And I've got, some Spanishfriends at, amiga in mijo.
Yeah.
So I'm like, but something couldhappen in my life.
That I didn't expect, like allof a sudden I'm like my podcast
isn't doing as great as Ithought it would, or my dad
(15:56):
asked me a question is, are youmaking any money with it?
Because that's his barometer ofsuccess.
Yeah.
And it couldn't, but it's reallynot about that at this point.
But like that affects my wholemood Moving forward.
And if I'm not able to like,talk about that and express
that, it just remains trapped upinside.
(16:18):
it's nothing but dark and itfeels like you're in a trap.
Yeah.
And It gets scary dark in ourbrains sometimes.
And especially with A DHD, weruminate on so much.
So we can get caught on one ortwo thoughts and then in our
brains connect all of theseneuro pathways of like, why all
(16:39):
of that is true.
Like we're looking for all theevidence.
One reason why I smile a lot ismy mom was deaf and she is deaf.
She's still deaf.
She did not cured, but when shewould meet new people, she
always had a smile on her face,and we grow up by mimicking the
people around us.
So I mimicked her.
So I learned how to smile.
(17:01):
But what's interesting is that Ismiled throughout depression,
right?
It's not that the smiling curedit, it's just the way that I
masked it.
And I don't think that I trulyknew I was depressed at the time
too.
So that's a really good pointthat you bring up.
It's not like we're going aroundbeing like, I'm depressed.
It's like going around likethis.
Life is really hard to liveright now.
I don't know what's going on,but I'm gonna put a smile on
(17:23):
anyways.
'cause that's what other peopleare doing.
I just really appreciate yousharing your perspective.
'cause it could look sodifferent from person to person,
but understanding that there'sways out of it is really
helpful.
But it's a practice.
It's a practice that can bedifficult and one thing I notice
now is, especially like when Igo through a phase where, maybe
(17:44):
the podcast isn't doing what Iwanted it to do and I start to
talk down on myself, I can flipit, I can flip that script, and
I'm getting better at doingthat.
But I noticed that my brainwants to go back to the ways
that I've always practiced.
I've always practiced talkingdown to myself.
(18:05):
And so when I start to seesomething negative, my brain's
Ooh, let's go down this journey.
'cause we're really good atthat.
So it is about retrainingyourself and creating new neuro
pathways to create thepositivity in your life that
you're looking for.
The hope, the joyfulness, thepurpose on why you're here on
this earth.
Yeah, definitely.
And one of the other things thathas really helped me is I go out
(18:27):
and I get interviews in thestreet and I asked'em about a
DHD, whether they have it ornot.
And like this week it was aboutexercise and diet, whether
they're getting, what they'redoing.
I met a guy who's he actuallyworks at a place for,
neurodivergent children to givethem exercise as a group.
And I was like, what is the oddsof me running into this guy when
(18:51):
I'm like for this podcast.
And that's where I feel like I'mconnected to who I'm supposed to
be, but it's also like I'mdeveloping a coaching.
Program to help people like methat are introverted, that are
dealing a DHD and dealing withdepression to be able to be more
(19:11):
pro-social in order battle thatdepression and overcome that
depression because what it'sdone for me is helped me to be
more confident.
I don't feel trapped.
And, it's not about just talkingto just anybody.
It's about going deep quickly.
(19:32):
Yeah.
So I'm Talking about A DHD anddepression and even suicide with
people that I've just met.
Wow.
And one of the episodes wastalking about, what it's like to
be black and have a DHD and thatwas it was difficult, for me, my
mind's like, how can you evenask somebody that, you know, but
(19:53):
the response that I got fromthat, they were like, I'm so
glad you're out here doing this.
We need that.
So it definitely was worth it.
It is challenging.
Like I do get rejected, but it'slike the ones that I do stop,
are worth the conversation.
And yeah, I was like, like Iwant to practice what I'm
(20:13):
coaching.
And that's one of the thingsthat I do is like I say, push
yourself, push your limits.
'cause my social battery is likeat the end of the last session,
like my social battery was.
Just about dead.
And I was still like, you knowwhat?
I'm gonna still try to ask'causein my head, families probably
(20:36):
won't want to do an interview.
And when I asked, I was like,excuse me, can I ask you a quick
question?
And they were like, Nope.
Yeah.
So I'd got rejected like fourtimes before I finally got the
last interview.
And they were, Jehovah Witnessesand they looked like they were
packing it up.
And I was like, you know what'sone more?
(20:57):
No.
I had already gotten enough, butI was like, they were one of the
better interviews of the day.
And if I didn't push throughthat, take my own medicine, like
I wouldn't have had thatexperience and it was a great
experience.
That's so cool.
I love that you're having theseconversations and especially the
(21:18):
conversation about race is likewith our world right now in the
state of being that it is, we'rescared to have the conversation.
We're scared of being wrong.
We're scared of saying somethingthat's gonna offend someone
else.
But the truth is that the morecurious we get about other
people's experiences, the morewe're going to be able to bring
people together.
We can start to understand eachother as humans and as people
(21:40):
just trying to survive andthrive out here in this world.
But it takes, yeah, trulyunderstanding and asking more
questions to get there, which iswhy what we're doing is so darn
cool.
It's so funny'cause it's so easyto be like, oh, there's another
A DHD podcast.
Right?
That's how I felt.
I'm sure you've felt that way atsome point.
Yeah, but the truth is thatthere's no other, Ron talking
(22:03):
about a DHD.
And there's no other Megstalking about a DHD and
organizing, like we bring ourown humanity and our own
thoughts and our own experiencesto the podcast, which is why
it's so cool that we're out heredoing this because, I might not
be for everyone, but there issomeone out there for everyone.
You will be able to find someoneto work with who's going to
(22:25):
support you in getting to yourgoals, and you're the coaching
program that you're developing,are people able to work with you
now?
I'm actually working with oneguy, it's still very early on
but he's been having very much asimilar, experience as me, One
thing that he was telling me washe was trying to get a new house
(22:46):
and he went to this office.
they were like, oh, you need anappointment?
To be in here.
we can't just take walk-ins.
And he started commenting on,the environment and how it was
really nice and well puttogether.
she ended up giving him time atthat point, so it opened up a
whole conversation that wouldn'thave been there because he was
(23:09):
more open not being like, soself-centered and I didn't get
my way.
Yeah.
But okay, since I'm here, let mecomment on this.
Or, just like generally for meit's not very hard.
It's just, I think for us itmight be.
It's just about getting morecurious.
Yeah.
Like that childlike curiosity.
(23:31):
Like, why are you wearingshorts?
Why did you decide to come outhere today?
Like kid questions.
That we've shut away.
Yeah.
Or put away, because we thinkthat we're gonna get a negative
response.
Yeah.
And we might, one of thequestions that I ask is what was
the best part of your day?
And almost always gets a smileon that person's face.
(23:53):
'Cause they have to think aboutit.
Yeah.
It gets'em to stop and think,and that's more about that's
what I like to bring out.
What I love about interviews andpodcasts in general is that
we're getting to know each othermore than what most of us are
doing with our familiesnowadays.
I'll speak from my ownexperience, but my husband and I
(24:14):
told our families that we'regoing to be moving from Colorado
back to Massachusetts, andinitially there was a lot of
judgment and reaction, right?
Right away.
What the hell are you doing?
And my dad told me.
I have some opinions, I've gotsome things I wanna caution you
on, and I stopped him.
I was like, I love you.
(24:34):
I love you respectfully, and ifyou would like to give me
opinions and thoughts and thingswe should consider, I need you
to know more about what we'redoing first.
And so I implore to askquestions.
If you would like to give us anyopinions on what's happening, I
need you to at least know thebasis of it.
So ask away.
Ask the questions you wannaknow.
(24:55):
He asked me about 10 questionsin a row.
I shared everything with him.
'cause I'm an open book.
I don't mind sharing the things.
It's so important that peoplewho want to know the answers, if
they're asking the questions,I'm gonna tell you the answer
'cause that's important to me,And he goes, wow, I'm just glad
that you're finally sharing allof this with me and how I'm
like.
Okay.
(25:16):
Yes.
And I just wanna point out thatI'm sharing with you because you
are asking me the questions thatyou wanna know.
Yeah.
And so I'm answering, sometimesthis might be like an inner
child thing.
I shut down when I don't know ifpeople wanna know things about
me.
So I'm not gonna share if you'renot genuinely curious about
Something that I'm doing becausethat's probably I don't wanna
(25:37):
bother you type of thing, but.
I just wanted to say I am gladthat you stood up for yourself
there, and created a much morepositive conversation with your
father.
'cause that is one of the thingsthat is huge for building
self-confidence, especially withADHD is like being able to know
your boundaries.
(25:57):
Yeah.
and to set those in a healthyway, and that's awesome that
you're doing that.
I'm learning and practicing.
Where else where can we findyour podcast?
Oh, you can find it on Apple.
It's called, don't Mind Me, I'mDifferent.
Yeah it's got 16 episodes in atrailer.
And yeah, if you have anysuggestions on what topics you'd
(26:19):
like to hear moving forward.
The next episode is gonna be onwomen's history and actually how
a DHD shows up differently inwomen.
And I've got a lot of fantasticinterviews for that.
Ron, you're doing some beautifulwork out there.
Keep going.
Thank you, because you too, allof the listeners here are gonna
(26:40):
come and fall in love with yourpodcast.
So thank you so much for joiningme.
I hope you have an amazing day.
Yeah, you too.
Thanks.
Okay.
You might have noticed that wedidn't talk fully about
organizing in that conversation,but here's the thing.
When you're organizing with ADHD and decluttering and making
all these decisions, all ofthese things come into play we
(27:01):
work through so many emotionswhen we're letting go and when
we're putting things in placesand learning how to trust
ourselves.
It's important for us to listento these conversations about
having a DHD and what it's likefor other people, because we
start to see ourselves in theselived experiences.
Understanding ourselves a littlebit differently because we see
how someone has met themselvesin a different way.
(27:23):
Like Ron, when he discovered hisdepression and how important it
was for him to be able to talkabout it.
It's important for us to be ableto talk about our clutter, to be
able to talk about ourorganizing in a way that makes
sense for us, in a way that wecan start to wrap our brains
around making the differencethat we need to make in our own
lives.
He also talks about routine andhow it's important for him to
(27:44):
have a routine that he followsin the morning, that starts at
night, the night before, howdepression is a regular thing
that he supports people with andhas to be able to support
himself with and just recognizewhat's real.
And I loved our conversationabout retraining our positive
talk, the way we speak toourselves, because that's where
a lot of the work is done.
(28:06):
So many of the people that Iwork with when I was working in
people's homes, they were somean to themselves, so unkind
about the clutter that wastaking up their lives because
they were embarrassed.
And it's almost like we feellike we need to put ourselves
down so other people know that,hey, we're not proud of this
either, right?
We need you to know that.
We also feel like that'sprobably what you think.
(28:27):
So I'm gonna put myself downfirst, but that's not the case,
guys.
Like we've got to be able to sayI'm working on this.
This is something that I wouldlike to change.
I don't necessarily know how itstarts within.
I'm gonna post all of Ron'sinformation in the show notes
below.
And then just another quickannouncement for you.
I'm not taking any more coachingclients right now.
I do have a wait list on mywebsite, So if you're interested
(28:50):
in possibly being a one-on-oneclient come this fall, I'd love
to have a chat with you if yougo to organizing an ADHD
brain.com and click on Ways toConnect.
You'll see so many differentways to work with me, either for
free in my community, or ofcourse one-on-one.
And right now, my community isalso closed for the rest of the
(29:11):
summer, and I'll reopen that inthe fall as we continue to let
go, organize and build anamazing community where we
support each other, gettingthrough these ridiculous
emotions that are sometimesstanding in our way.
If you can think of it, wish meluck as we're about to trek
across the country with my twogirls, four animals and a whole
(29:33):
lot of hope for where we'regoing in the future.
thanks so much for tuning in,and I'll see you next week.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
We have one week until we closeon our house and we start our
trek across the United States toget to the East coast.
We're moving to Massachusetts.
We are so excited and we areterrified, and there are so many
emotions that go into this, andI was thinking about it
yesterday and how when peopletalk about something being hard.
(00:25):
you don't naturally start tothink about what does hard mean?
Heart means that you feel souncomfortable, you wanna run
away as fast as possible.
But when something is already inmotion, there's nowhere to go.
But to sit with theuncomfortable, to sit with the
feelings that come along withthe uncomfortable, there's
excitement, there's sadness,there's nervousness.
(00:47):
There's.
The unknown, the feeling of justreally not knowing what's next.
Our routine is out the window.
Nothing has a place in our homeanymore, especially as we let
things go.
Not only do I not know where tofind things, but my husband
doesn't know where to findthings, and we're losing our
minds just a little bit.
Everything we do plan on takingwith us, we put into our front
(01:09):
room the office that you mayhave seen in a video before.
It does not look like thatanymore and we are slowly
letting go.
We are emptying out cabinets oneby one, and I'm so proud of all
of the work I have done to getto where I am right now because.
We're able to make some reallygood conscious decisions on
(01:29):
getting things out of our housebecause we've been doing this
for so long.
It's not something that we'restarting from scratch just
because we're moving.
It's something we've been doingfor years.
I did get complimented this lastweekend on how organized my
garage sale was.
I was very proud of that.
But part of it too is because wehad.
So little still to leave outthere.
(01:51):
And in fact, our garage sale wasreally the stuff that we
would've brought with us in theevent that we didn't try to sell
everything at the end here.
Let's go into talking about thisepisode.
I recorded this way back inMarch.
My friend Ron and I met becausehe had been doing some research
about A DHD, found my podcastand included some information I
had shared on his website.
(02:12):
I was so flattered him and Istarted chatting.
I was interviewed on his podcastand I invited him to be on mine
as well.
I love his story.
What's really neat about him isfirst of all, he works full-time
in a factory, but then hedecided that he wanted to start
a podcast and it's called, don'tMind Me, I'm Different, and he's
also working on becoming acoach.
(02:33):
He's a prosocial coach, so hehelps people with A DHD become
more social.
He also talks a lot aboutdepression and how that can
affect us on a regular basis.
So I'm really excited tointroduce you to him.
He is the type of person thatloves to find the positive in
people and is just reallyinterested in having
(02:54):
conversations and the way thathe describes in the podcast
today.
Kid-like Conversations where wejust naturally ask questions
that people wanna know thatwe've forgotten how to ask those
questions.
I'm so excited to introduce youto him.
So without further ado, here'smy interview with Ron.
Ron, welcome to the podcast.
(03:15):
Hey, Megan.
I'm thrilled and honored to beon here.
Yeah, I definitely am flatteredand appreciate that.
Heck yeah.
I'm so excited to chat with youa little bit about your journey,
talk to you about your podcast,and maybe dive into a little bit
of how depression affects uswith A DHD and at least some of
(03:35):
our experiences.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour journey.
How did you discover you had aDHD.
yeah, it was for me, I didn'tknow that I had it until about
two, two and a half years ago.
And people had kept telling methat I needed to slow down my
whole life and, I just thoughtthey.
(03:57):
didn't know what they weretalking about.
I couldn't sit still and Ididn't know why and I just
thought that was like normal.
So what ended up happening was Igot to the point where I was
getting written up for safety.
Violations at my job one, I hadlike almost crushed my hand with
a power lift.
(04:19):
One of those power lift jacks.
Because somebody had said myname while I was, moving that I
was trying to walk it off.
I'm fine.
I ended up having to say'causenothing had seriously happened,
but it became an incident.
And then, I ended up droppingtwo totes and it could have been
(04:39):
a lot more serious.
They're like huge totes, like300 gallon totes.
Luckily I had a person in mylife who was like, you need to
talk to your.
Primary care about this andschedule an appointment.
And I was like, you know what?
I might lose my job like this issomething that I need to look
at.
Even in that session, with myprimary care, she didn't really
(05:03):
want to point towards A DHD andat that time I thought there was
a difference between a DD and ADHD.
I was very confused and she waslike, you know what?
here's a list of ofpsychologists.
And it was like.
A huge list of different types.
And I had to figure out by myown research who to call and who
(05:27):
to set up.
And I was like, at that point Ineed the help right now.
I was pretty sure I had a DHD, Ifinally was able to see my
therapist and, confirm that and,those sessions in the beginning
were very eye-opening, but alsovery like when he said to slow
down and do nothing, that waslike a knee jerk reaction for
(05:50):
me.
I was like, that's not somethingI want to do.
But I've been able to practicethat in my life, and it has
really helped me to give mespace, and be okay with where
I'm at and with things nothappening the way I would like
'em to.
(06:11):
So I really like the way thatyou described that and before we
started recording, we talked alittle bit about that.
I was sharing how yesterday Ijust felt so dysregulated and
all of these things that Inormally go to, to practice
mindfulness or to get myselfback into my conscious brain
instead of going down thisrabbit hole of doom.
They weren't working because Iwas just so focused on what was
(06:34):
going wrong and it is thisconstant practice.
And the more you do it, the moreyou get familiar with that
practice, the more you know thatit is in your back pocket.
And even if you don't wanna doit in real time, you seek it out
anyway because it's gonnasupport you yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
some days where I'm like, I, doI even have this?
(06:56):
Like I'm so good with I'm socalm and patient, but it's like
I.
Days like today where we weretalking about, I just want to
burn everything down.
That I've worked so hard becauseit's not where I thought it
would be, or where I imagined itcould be, even though I've never
done it, something like thatbefore.
So it's like a window inside themind of what it's like to have a
(07:18):
DHD.
Yeah.
Like normal people don't Justdecide to light things on fire
like that they worked on,they're like, let's give it some
more time, honestly, it makes mefeel a little bit better knowing
that other people are feelingthat way too.
Because, you don't show up thesame every day.
You show up with who you arethat day, right?
Like we're one big chemistryexperiment as one of my friends
(07:41):
would say.
Yeah.
And every day we show up alittle bit different in the
world that we live in and thejob that we have to go to, the
things that we have to take careof and.
We don't do well withconsistency.
Where do we find the continuity?
Where are we able to continue tocome back to showing up?
That's really powerful thatyou've been able to start this
podcast and continue putting outshows.
And you're past your seventhepisode, right?
(08:03):
Yeah, I actually just put outepisode 16 Yesterday, and it's
called, the Miracle Drug, howExercise and Diet really help to
regulate your A DHD.
It's one of the top things thatyou can do.
I've tried it in my life,anything that I put out on my
podcast, i've done the researchon that.
(08:24):
I'm not just putting out there'cause wow, this looks like
something cool that I should putout there.
I'm doing this to help otherpeople with, the A DHD and I
actually have somebody at mywork that's he said that, he
tells me like the voice that youhave.
you've put terms on the thingsthat I feel and it's it's that
(08:47):
kind of validation that helpsme, just a little bit to you
know, it's not about helping,thousands of people.
It's about really helping likein depth that one person.
Yeah.
When you're putting out podcastepisodes and managing,'cause you
work full-time during the weekas well.
(09:07):
Yeah.
And then also, buildingsomething on the side.
How do you keep yourselforganized and what are some of
the mindfulness practices thathelp you?
Yeah.
The biggest thing that reallyhelps me is is a routine, like
getting up and doing, like thesame thing and actually it
starts out at night.
'Cause I went from watching TVuntil two o'clock in the morning
(09:29):
after I got off work, now Idon't do that typically during
the week.
Usually maybe I might have oneday in the week where I watch
one show.
But then it gets me to thisplace where I'm going to bed
without watching tv, withoutlike those blue screens.
And then I get up and usually Igo for a walk.
(09:50):
I try to incorporate mindfulnessinto that walk, like just paying
attention to the walk, notthinking about what I gotta do
in the rest of the day.
Like even the steps orespecially the birds, like I
love, being curious about thebirds that are walking around
and the fact that.
I'm getting sunshine, which ishuge for depression.
(10:13):
In the morning,'cause I am not amorning person, or at least I
didn't think I was.
But now that I've been doingthis routine.
And like eating breakfast andthen, getting exercise.
Because when you get exercise,you actually have 10% to 15%
more ability.
After you get the exercise forabout two to four hours, so
(10:36):
you're more inclined to learnand absorb that information and
focus on it.
So I found that my optimal timeis between eight and 11.
at three hours spot is where Ican get the most done, where I'm
the most productive, that's whenI usually try to focus on the
things that I would like to doin the day.
(10:56):
And then I go to work and.
I usually try to take a break.
And do a formal practice ofmindfulness.
It could be really anythingfrom, there's like a loving
gratitude meditation and Iusually have it like sprinkled
throughout the day.
Like little reminders like withstickers especially with
(11:17):
breathing, to ground my practiceand the reality, it was like I'm
living a good life.
Like I may not like reallyenjoy, exactly where I'm at, but
I'm able to do things within myjob.
That make it enjoyable, likeputting stickers in random spots
to remind me and being curiousto see if those stickers will
(11:39):
actually stay there.
That's really cool because notonly are you doing that for
yourself, but you're spreadinghappiness in other ways because
other people are gonna see that.
Although like I know thatsometimes if someone tells me to
smile on the wrong day, I amlike, Nope.
Uhuh.
But I think it's so beautifulthat you're able to.
(11:59):
To do that.
That's so cool that you've foundthat works for you.
and thank you for asking thatquestion.
I've found, like even if I don'thelp anybody, but I'm focusing
on myself, so you take like theother side of the depression and
it's i'm gonna be depressed.
I'm not gonna do the things thatI want to do.
I'm gonna be behind, and noone's gonna know why it's gonna,
(12:22):
it steals your time.
It steals your joy.
It's a thief, but on the flipside of that, if I'm mindful.
Like I come in and all thepeople around me are gonna have
a different experience with whoI am that day just by trying to
be more mindful or noticingsomebody's strength.
(12:45):
That they're using in that day,it's called strength spotting.
So I try to compliment somebodyon what they're doing, if
they're being curious, like foryou, you're having perseverance
and creativity, and you'rereally showing that and it's
needed.
So those are the things that.
I'm really trying to incorporatein my life.
(13:05):
It doesn't always come out thatway, but it's like when I'm
feeling down, it's like I knowwho I can be.
And I'm trying to get back tothat place better, faster.
It's so cool.
Thanks.
No, I really love it.
'cause I think there's so manypeople out there that are
struggling with depression andstruggling with these negative
thoughts that they have aboutthemselves that it doesn't feel.
(13:28):
There's this other side of it,but I've struggled with
depression a lot.
During high school, college, inand out of it throughout
adulthood.
And it's been a struggle.
and I know you've been vocalabout it on your podcast too,
which I love because I think themore that we talk about it, the
more we can make it real.
It's a real thing that so manypeople struggle with.
(13:49):
And if we talk about it a littlebit more, we can help one
another get out of it and figureout.
What is beyond the depressionand what that looks like.
So can you share with us alittle bit about your journey?
I didn't realize just howdepressed I really was because
like a lot of people withdepression mask it and, deny it.
Oh, I'm not depressed becausethat's weak or whatever.
(14:11):
that is, but since I've beendoing mindfulness, it opens up
that, observation of it's okayto be depressed.
It's okay.
I'm not gonna fight this.
Because the more I fight it, theworse it's gonna get.
Sometimes I just gotta ride thatwave and be curious about okay,
what is this telling me aboutwho I am?
(14:34):
in the beginning talking aboutdepression on my podcast, it was
difficult,'cause it's it'sdepressing.
Yeah.
'Cause it's vulnerable.
It's yeah.
for me.
I love to talk about depression,when it's happening.
Because that is like one of thebest things I can do for myself
is to talk about it, and hearothers, especially when others
(14:55):
are bringing up their owndepression.
Because I'm like, yeah, thatthis opened the door that wasn't
there, and it's like.
It's crazy because like mostpeople like for you it's I see
you all the time and you'regreat and you're just, you're
full of joy and got great humorand and it's like, how can this
person be depressed?
(15:15):
And it's for me, it's some daysI'm on and I'm like, like the
other day I'm like learningSpanish and I'm like, really?
Me too.
Awesome.
That's so cool.
How long have you been learning?
Sorry.
We'll come back, but that's soneat.
Yeah, it's it's been threemonths, but like I, I went in
and I was like, pump for it and'cause I'm like learn, learning
(15:36):
this new stuff and I want topractice it.
And I've got, some Spanishfriends at, amiga in mijo.
Yeah.
So I'm like, but something couldhappen in my life.
That I didn't expect, like allof a sudden I'm like my podcast
isn't doing as great as Ithought it would, or my dad
(15:56):
asked me a question is, are youmaking any money with it?
Because that's his barometer ofsuccess.
Yeah.
And it couldn't, but it's reallynot about that at this point.
But like that affects my wholemood Moving forward.
And if I'm not able to like,talk about that and express
that, it just remains trapped upinside.
(16:18):
it's nothing but dark and itfeels like you're in a trap.
Yeah.
And It gets scary dark in ourbrains sometimes.
And especially with A DHD, weruminate on so much.
So we can get caught on one ortwo thoughts and then in our
brains connect all of theseneuro pathways of like, why all
(16:39):
of that is true.
Like we're looking for all theevidence.
One reason why I smile a lot ismy mom was deaf and she is deaf.
She's still deaf.
She did not cured, but when shewould meet new people, she
always had a smile on her face,and we grow up by mimicking the
people around us.
So I mimicked her.
So I learned how to smile.
(17:01):
But what's interesting is that Ismiled throughout depression,
right?
It's not that the smiling curedit, it's just the way that I
masked it.
And I don't think that I trulyknew I was depressed at the time
too.
So that's a really good pointthat you bring up.
It's not like we're going aroundbeing like, I'm depressed.
It's like going around likethis.
Life is really hard to liveright now.
I don't know what's going on,but I'm gonna put a smile on
(17:23):
anyways.
'cause that's what other peopleare doing.
I just really appreciate yousharing your perspective.
'cause it could look sodifferent from person to person,
but understanding that there'sways out of it is really
helpful.
But it's a practice.
It's a practice that can bedifficult and one thing I notice
now is, especially like when Igo through a phase where, maybe
(17:44):
the podcast isn't doing what Iwanted it to do and I start to
talk down on myself, I can flipit, I can flip that script, and
I'm getting better at doingthat.
But I noticed that my brainwants to go back to the ways
that I've always practiced.
I've always practiced talkingdown to myself.
(18:05):
And so when I start to seesomething negative, my brain's
Ooh, let's go down this journey.
'cause we're really good atthat.
So it is about retrainingyourself and creating new neuro
pathways to create thepositivity in your life that
you're looking for.
The hope, the joyfulness, thepurpose on why you're here on
this earth.
Yeah, definitely.
And one of the other things thathas really helped me is I go out
(18:27):
and I get interviews in thestreet and I asked'em about a
DHD, whether they have it ornot.
And like this week it was aboutexercise and diet, whether
they're getting, what they'redoing.
I met a guy who's he actuallyworks at a place for,
neurodivergent children to givethem exercise as a group.
And I was like, what is the oddsof me running into this guy when
(18:51):
I'm like for this podcast.
And that's where I feel like I'mconnected to who I'm supposed to
be, but it's also like I'mdeveloping a coaching.
Program to help people like methat are introverted, that are
dealing a DHD and dealing withdepression to be able to be more
(19:11):
pro-social in order battle thatdepression and overcome that
depression because what it'sdone for me is helped me to be
more confident.
I don't feel trapped.
And, it's not about just talkingto just anybody.
It's about going deep quickly.
(19:32):
Yeah.
So I'm Talking about A DHD anddepression and even suicide with
people that I've just met.
Wow.
And one of the episodes wastalking about, what it's like to
be black and have a DHD and thatwas it was difficult, for me, my
mind's like, how can you evenask somebody that, you know, but
(19:53):
the response that I got fromthat, they were like, I'm so
glad you're out here doing this.
We need that.
So it definitely was worth it.
It is challenging.
Like I do get rejected, but it'slike the ones that I do stop,
are worth the conversation.
And yeah, I was like, like Iwant to practice what I'm
(20:13):
coaching.
And that's one of the thingsthat I do is like I say, push
yourself, push your limits.
'cause my social battery is likeat the end of the last session,
like my social battery was.
Just about dead.
And I was still like, you knowwhat?
I'm gonna still try to ask'causein my head, families probably
(20:36):
won't want to do an interview.
And when I asked, I was like,excuse me, can I ask you a quick
question?
And they were like, Nope.
Yeah.
So I'd got rejected like fourtimes before I finally got the
last interview.
And they were, Jehovah Witnessesand they looked like they were
packing it up.
And I was like, you know what'sone more?
(20:57):
No.
I had already gotten enough, butI was like, they were one of the
better interviews of the day.
And if I didn't push throughthat, take my own medicine, like
I wouldn't have had thatexperience and it was a great
experience.
That's so cool.
I love that you're having theseconversations and especially the
(21:18):
conversation about race is likewith our world right now in the
state of being that it is, we'rescared to have the conversation.
We're scared of being wrong.
We're scared of saying somethingthat's gonna offend someone
else.
But the truth is that the morecurious we get about other
people's experiences, the morewe're going to be able to bring
people together.
We can start to understand eachother as humans and as people
(21:40):
just trying to survive andthrive out here in this world.
But it takes, yeah, trulyunderstanding and asking more
questions to get there, which iswhy what we're doing is so darn
cool.
It's so funny'cause it's so easyto be like, oh, there's another
A DHD podcast.
Right?
That's how I felt.
I'm sure you've felt that way atsome point.
Yeah, but the truth is thatthere's no other, Ron talking
(22:03):
about a DHD.
And there's no other Megstalking about a DHD and
organizing, like we bring ourown humanity and our own
thoughts and our own experiencesto the podcast, which is why
it's so cool that we're out heredoing this because, I might not
be for everyone, but there issomeone out there for everyone.
You will be able to find someoneto work with who's going to
(22:25):
support you in getting to yourgoals, and you're the coaching
program that you're developing,are people able to work with you
now?
I'm actually working with oneguy, it's still very early on
but he's been having very much asimilar, experience as me, One
thing that he was telling me washe was trying to get a new house
(22:46):
and he went to this office.
they were like, oh, you need anappointment?
To be in here.
we can't just take walk-ins.
And he started commenting on,the environment and how it was
really nice and well puttogether.
she ended up giving him time atthat point, so it opened up a
whole conversation that wouldn'thave been there because he was
(23:09):
more open not being like, soself-centered and I didn't get
my way.
Yeah.
But okay, since I'm here, let mecomment on this.
Or, just like generally for meit's not very hard.
It's just, I think for us itmight be.
It's just about getting morecurious.
Yeah.
Like that childlike curiosity.
(23:31):
Like, why are you wearingshorts?
Why did you decide to come outhere today?
Like kid questions.
That we've shut away.
Yeah.
Or put away, because we thinkthat we're gonna get a negative
response.
Yeah.
And we might, one of thequestions that I ask is what was
the best part of your day?
And almost always gets a smileon that person's face.
(23:53):
'Cause they have to think aboutit.
Yeah.
It gets'em to stop and think,and that's more about that's
what I like to bring out.
What I love about interviews andpodcasts in general is that
we're getting to know each othermore than what most of us are
doing with our familiesnowadays.
I'll speak from my ownexperience, but my husband and I
(24:14):
told our families that we'regoing to be moving from Colorado
back to Massachusetts, andinitially there was a lot of
judgment and reaction, right?
Right away.
What the hell are you doing?
And my dad told me.
I have some opinions, I've gotsome things I wanna caution you
on, and I stopped him.
I was like, I love you.
(24:34):
I love you respectfully, and ifyou would like to give me
opinions and thoughts and thingswe should consider, I need you
to know more about what we'redoing first.
And so I implore to askquestions.
If you would like to give us anyopinions on what's happening, I
need you to at least know thebasis of it.
So ask away.
Ask the questions you wannaknow.
(24:55):
He asked me about 10 questionsin a row.
I shared everything with him.
'cause I'm an open book.
I don't mind sharing the things.
It's so important that peoplewho want to know the answers, if
they're asking the questions,I'm gonna tell you the answer
'cause that's important to me,And he goes, wow, I'm just glad
that you're finally sharing allof this with me and how I'm
like.
Okay.
(25:16):
Yes.
And I just wanna point out thatI'm sharing with you because you
are asking me the questions thatyou wanna know.
Yeah.
And so I'm answering, sometimesthis might be like an inner
child thing.
I shut down when I don't know ifpeople wanna know things about
me.
So I'm not gonna share if you'renot genuinely curious about
Something that I'm doing becausethat's probably I don't wanna
(25:37):
bother you type of thing, but.
I just wanted to say I am gladthat you stood up for yourself
there, and created a much morepositive conversation with your
father.
'cause that is one of the thingsthat is huge for building
self-confidence, especially withADHD is like being able to know
your boundaries.
(25:57):
Yeah.
and to set those in a healthyway, and that's awesome that
you're doing that.
I'm learning and practicing.
Where else where can we findyour podcast?
Oh, you can find it on Apple.
It's called, don't Mind Me, I'mDifferent.
Yeah it's got 16 episodes in atrailer.
And yeah, if you have anysuggestions on what topics you'd
(26:19):
like to hear moving forward.
The next episode is gonna be onwomen's history and actually how
a DHD shows up differently inwomen.
And I've got a lot of fantasticinterviews for that.
Ron, you're doing some beautifulwork out there.
Keep going.
Thank you, because you too, allof the listeners here are gonna
(26:40):
come and fall in love with yourpodcast.
So thank you so much for joiningme.
I hope you have an amazing day.
Yeah, you too.
Thanks.
Okay.
You might have noticed that wedidn't talk fully about
organizing in that conversation,but here's the thing.
When you're organizing with ADHD and decluttering and making
all these decisions, all ofthese things come into play we
(27:01):
work through so many emotionswhen we're letting go and when
we're putting things in placesand learning how to trust
ourselves.
It's important for us to listento these conversations about
having a DHD and what it's likefor other people, because we
start to see ourselves in theselived experiences.
Understanding ourselves a littlebit differently because we see
how someone has met themselvesin a different way.
(27:23):
Like Ron, when he discovered hisdepression and how important it
was for him to be able to talkabout it.
It's important for us to be ableto talk about our clutter, to be
able to talk about ourorganizing in a way that makes
sense for us, in a way that wecan start to wrap our brains
around making the differencethat we need to make in our own
lives.
He also talks about routine andhow it's important for him to
(27:44):
have a routine that he followsin the morning, that starts at
night, the night before, howdepression is a regular thing
that he supports people with andhas to be able to support
himself with and just recognizewhat's real.
And I loved our conversationabout retraining our positive
talk, the way we speak toourselves, because that's where
a lot of the work is done.
(28:06):
So many of the people that Iwork with when I was working in
people's homes, they were somean to themselves, so unkind
about the clutter that wastaking up their lives because
they were embarrassed.
And it's almost like we feellike we need to put ourselves
down so other people know that,hey, we're not proud of this
either, right?
We need you to know that.
We also feel like that'sprobably what you think.
(28:27):
So I'm gonna put myself downfirst, but that's not the case,
guys.
Like we've got to be able to sayI'm working on this.
This is something that I wouldlike to change.
I don't necessarily know how itstarts within.
I'm gonna post all of Ron'sinformation in the show notes
below.
And then just another quickannouncement for you.
I'm not taking any more coachingclients right now.
I do have a wait list on mywebsite, So if you're interested
(28:50):
in possibly being a one-on-oneclient come this fall, I'd love
to have a chat with you if yougo to organizing an ADHD
brain.com and click on Ways toConnect.
You'll see so many differentways to work with me, either for
free in my community, or ofcourse one-on-one.
And right now, my community isalso closed for the rest of the
(29:11):
summer, and I'll reopen that inthe fall as we continue to let
go, organize and build anamazing community where we
support each other, gettingthrough these ridiculous
emotions that are sometimesstanding in our way.
If you can think of it, wish meluck as we're about to trek
across the country with my twogirls, four animals and a whole
(29:33):
lot of hope for where we'regoing in the future.
thanks so much for tuning in,and I'll see you next week.
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