May 19, 2025 • 28 mins
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In this episode, I’m sharing what it’s really been like preparing for one of the biggest transitions of my life—selling our home, letting go of most of our belongings, and getting ready for a full-on summer adventure with my family.
But here's the thing... I’m not trying to become a minimalist.
I like my stuff. I love color, creativity, and having spaces that feel like me.
And for so many of us with ADHD, minimalism can feel more like diet culture for your house—shame-filled, all-or-nothing, and totally unrealistic.
I talk about what it means to declutter intentionally without trying to erase yourself in the process. You’ll hear about how my relationship with "stuff" has evolved, how I’ve learned to trust myself in what I keep (and what I don’t), and how I’ve stopped buying things hoping they’ll one day “fit in” somewhere.
Instead, I'm focusing on buying and keeping things that have a purpose—things that support the version of me I’m becoming.
Whether you’re drowning in decisions or just starting to think about making a change, I hope this episode helps you feel seen, supported, and less alone.
And if you’re craving a place to untangle all of this alongside others who truly get it—I’d love for you to join my ADHD-friendly community. We’re all about progress over perfection, small wins, and creating homes that feel like peace.
03:26 Understanding Minimalism
04:28 Personal Preferences and Challenges
05:35 All or Nothing Mindset
07:43 Intentional Living
10:04 Practical Tips and Personal Stories
17:25 Encouragement and Community
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, welcome back to anotherepisode of organizing an A DHD
Brain.
It is springtime and I am soexcited about our adventure that
my family and I are about toembark on this summer.
So if you're new here, we areabout to sell our house and
we're selling everything we ownmost everything.
(00:20):
And if you're watching onYouTube,'cause I'll be posting
this on YouTube this week.
I don't know that my scene willlook the same next week.
I'm looking at the artwork onthe walls and the couch that's
behind me and these two reallycool cabinets that we bought
last year to complete my office.
And I don't know that this isgonna be the same next week, and
(00:41):
it feels a little weird and it'sexciting and it's scary and it's
sad.
It's bittersweet, but it's fun.
And it's adventurous.
As we look at letting go, I gotinspired for this episode today
to talk about why I don't aspireto be a minimalist, which seems
counterproductive to what I'mactually doing in my home.
(01:02):
So I've been letting go for solong, but part of it was because
I had so much, Before we divein, something that has been
coming up for me this week isjust how I've noticed my nervous
system reaction to a lot of justthe stuff that's happening in
our lives.
Not only letting go, but I'mstill building this business
(01:23):
and.
Understanding what I can handleand taking on enough, but not
too much so that I'm notoverdoing it.
Like how do I have boundarieswhen it doesn't feel like
anything's gonna slow downanytime soon?
Because it feels like our futureis so unknown.
It's scary and it's exciting,right?
Like it's all these things.
(01:44):
So we sold this table in ourfront hallway the other day, and
I remember my husband and Ireally being so purposeful about
what we were gonna put in thatfront hallway.
And part of it was because wehad gotten something before, but
it was really big and bulky.
And we found this table that wasperfect.
It was thin enough.
It met our decor needs, all ofthese things.
And then just last week we soldit.
(02:06):
And even my husband was like,oh, this feels so real now.
This feels like it's reallyhappening, and it doesn't feel
like there's a lot of normalhappening in our life right now.
And in fact, it's gonna get lessand less normal as we let more
and more go as we get closer toleaving and traveling across the
country.
It's been interesting because asI approach my clutter now as I
(02:29):
approach my stuff, I'm lookingat it from a different
perspective, but also some ofthe same perspectives that I had
when I first starteddecluttering years and years ago
about, wow, how do I letsomething go and let it feel?
Okay, I'm letting go ofeverything, but I don't want to
be a minimalist.
(02:50):
I wanna be.
An intentionalist.
I remember watching thedocumentary The Minimalists a
really long time ago.
It was two guys and then theywrote a book on it too.
It was great.
It was so awesome.
And that was originally what Iwanted to do was to become a
minimalist.
I just knew I had so much stuffand I saw what they had and I
was like, Ooh, what anincredible thing to aspire to
(03:12):
be.
As I started to take action andas I started to create clarity
and understanding in my ownlife, I started to see more and
more that's not actually what Iwanted after all.
And I wanna tell you a littlebit more about that.
So first up, I just wanna lookup minimalism.
Let's see what minimalismactually means.
Minimalism in essence, is aboutintentionally living with fewer
(03:36):
possessions, focusing on whattruly matters.
And eliminating unnecessarydistractions.
It's a philosophy thatencourages a simpler, more
mindful way of life, focusing onexperiences, meaningful
relationships, and personalgrowth over material
accumulation.
So it's focus on intentionality.
It's about making mindfulchoices about what you bring
(03:58):
into your life, both physicallyand mentally.
Prioritizing meaning and value.
It's about identifying whatbrings you joy and purpose in
surrounding yourself with thosethings.
Reducing distractions toclutter, so create a more
peaceful and unclutteredenvironment, both physically and
emotionally.
It's about living with less andorder to have freedom, time and
energy to pursue what trulymatters, and then eliminating
(04:21):
unnecessary possessions andcommitments.
Minimalists often find more timeand energy to focus on their
passions and goals.
I like my stuff.
I really like color.
And I really like books and Ilike pillows, and I like artwork
that hangs on the wall.
In fact, I really wanna hang aviolin on my wall someday.
(04:43):
I just think it'd be incredible.
And I like plants everywhere asa form of decor.
I even created mossy pictures inmy bedroom with gold outlines to
it.
I think when we think ofminimalism, we think of this in
an all or nothing mindset.
Whereas, okay, I've got a lot ofstuff.
(05:04):
This is where I'm at now.
In order to get where I'm going,I need to do it all.
And that's why sometimes when welook at our clutter, we go into
fight mode and we're like,that's it.
I'm getting rid of everything inthis moment right now, and no
one has a say in it.
I'm just throwing a bunch ofstuff away because I can't
handle it anymore.
But when it comes to A DHD, wedon't necessarily go about
(05:26):
attacking our clutter in a waythat really helps us, which is
why so many of us avoid startingin the first place.
But coming back to that all ornothing mindset, that all or
nothing mindset comes fromperfectionism.
We're seeking this perfectenvironment.
Where everything has a place,everything has a label,
(05:46):
everything has this perfectcontainer.
We know exactly what wallpaperis there and we wanna retile our
floors and make sure thateverything is perfect.
And at that point can we finallyrest and relax and say, I did
it.
I made it.
I don't aspire to be aminimalist because I see so many
similarities of minimalism withthis all or nothing mindset that
(06:10):
I've had with so many otherthings in my life.
Case in point.
Eating.
I've talked about having aneating disorder before and it's
so common in women with ADHDthat we have all or nothing.
And it's okay, if I know I'm notsupposed to have sugar, then I'm
not gonna have any sugar becauseeven having just one I know I'm
gonna try to have all.
And that can sometimes happenwhen we start with the clutter
(06:32):
and say, oh my gosh, I'm notgonna buy anything off of Amazon
anymore.
But then what do we do?
We're like, oh my gosh, i'mgoing into fight or flight mode,
and the only thing that's gonnahelp me get out of this is going
and impulse buying somethingbecause I know it's gonna make
me feel better, even though whenthe box gets here, I might let
it sit somewhere for literallyever, until I finally open up
and realize that this was justan impulse buy that made me feel
(06:55):
better in the moment, I don'teven remember getting it.
But when I think of minimalism,it's almost like I can't trust
myself, right?
I can't trust myself to keepanything, and I'm not gonna
succeed unless I have thelittlest amount of things that I
could possibly need in order tobe able to succeed.
But the problem here is it'slike diet culture for your home.
(07:17):
So now you're starting from aplace where you've never been
able to keep somethingdecluttered or organized before,
and now you're trying to get tothis place.
Of perfection, so to speak, it'sstarting from never being on a
diet before.
Maybe this is a brand new diet,and now you want to be a hundred
pounds less in 30 days, but weall know that's not realistic.
(07:40):
That's not a life that we cantruly sustain.
This is a journey.
And when you start to takeaction, no matter where you
start, because anywhere is theperfect place to start.
And when you start takingaction, you start to bring
clarity into your life so thatyou truly understand what kind
of life you wanna live.
(08:01):
And I think that's the mainpoint that I really, truly wanna
make here is that.
It is not about striving forthis like complete overhaul and
change and difference that youneed to make in your life.
It's about making smallstrategic changes that you can
actually sustain.
When my mom used to ask me toclean my room when I was a kid,
(08:23):
it would be such a mess by thetime she asked me to do it.
'Cause I never did it on my own.
I would never just likeproactively say.
Wow, what a messy room.
Let me go ahead and tidy up.
That was never on my mind.
Literally never.
So when she would ask me toclean my room, that was the time
for me to do an overhaul.
My bed has been in every singleplace in the room.
(08:43):
I'm picturing it right now.
I grew up in this old.
Farmhouse that was built in the18 hundreds.
part of the ceiling is comingin, so my bed could only fit
strategically in certain places,but if it could fit in a place,
I found the place that it couldfit in because I figured out
every single possibleconfiguration I could have that
bed in.
In addition to that, I moved thefurniture around and then all of
(09:05):
this little stuff, the littlethings, all the things that
needed to be put away, they gotshoved somewhere.
In a drawer under the bedanywhere I could think of.
I was probably intentional withsome things, but I didn't know
how to organize.
I didn't know how to put thingsaway, in a way that I could find
them again.
So I just overhauled the entireroom so that I could feel like
(09:26):
it was something I could beproud of, but the truth is I was
never able to keep up with it Ithrive on different, I love
adventure.
That's probably why we're movingacross the country again.
But it was this all or nothingmentality.
I'm like, okay well, if I'mreally gonna make a change well,
this is exciting, right?
There's that dopamine hit foryou.
I get to do a project.
This is my interior designproject in my room.
(09:49):
But the truth is that in orderfor me to truly be in control of
my stuff.
I needed to understand how tolet go.
I needed to let go of some ofthe things that truly weren't
filling up my cup in thosemoments so that I could
understand how to live a lifethat mattered.
I saw a video of anotherprofessional organizer the other
day, and I so wish I had hername because I would totally
(10:09):
shout her out.
But she said that.
When you buy something, you givethat thing a job.
You're giving that thing a jobto do in your home.
And if that thing is no longerdoing the job in your home, then
you need to figure out if youneed to let it go or not.
You need to figure out if it'sadding to your life or not.
And I think that's a reallysimple way of looking at things
(10:30):
okay, I like, let's take paperclips for example.
I'm gonna buy paper clips toclip papers together.
But the truth is, in my reality,I actually don't ever need a
paperclip.
And so if I come across one, itgoes in the trash because I
don't buy them.
I don't need them.
It's not something that helps mein my life, because if I ever
(10:51):
get to the point where I need toclip papers together I'll use my
stapler, or.
I likely will find somethingelse in my caboodles of oodles
of things somewhere because Istill have a lot of stuff.
Another reason why I don'tnecessarily aspire to be a
minimalist in the traditionalsense where you type in
minimalism on a Google search,and you'll see a lot of beige
(11:12):
walls and don't come at me.
My walls in the back areagreeable gray, but I also have
a mountain behind me, you cansee, and I've got quotes up on
the wall in gold lettering, andI can see two plants.
And I've got bookends of HarryPotter running through the books
and coming out.
Platform nine and three quarterson the other end.
And I've got my diploma and Ilike everything that I have in
(11:33):
this room is strategicallyplaced.
I love my stuff and I lovecolor.
And I did a podcast episode withEllie who is an artist out of.
Copenhagen.
And we were talking about colorand how color helps us live a
better life.
It helps us get the dopaminethat we're looking for on a
regular basis.
(11:54):
And let me tell you, some of thepeople that I work with, my,
clients, their homes.
Are really cool, like the designfeatures are incredible and like
lights and wallpaper and thefurniture that was chosen and
the colors on the walls, likeit's top notch.
But here's the thing, justbecause you do those things like
(12:15):
a complete overhaul of yourhome, doesn't mean that you're
now going to be all of a suddenorganized and inspired to put
everything back where it goes.
Nope, we still have a DHD afterall.
And that's why I always say it'snot the bin that's gonna make
you organized.
It's the strategies, it's thesystems that work for you.
It's working with the brain youalready have, not with the brain
(12:36):
you wish you had.
Because the truth is this A DHDisn't going away.
I still have time blindness, Istill have executive function
issues.
I still struggle on a dailybasis with so many of the ways
that our brain work.
But I also embrace it now alittle bit more.
Okay, so coming back to this,all or nothing thinking.
(12:59):
I do think that intentionalliving is a really cool place to
get to, but when you'restarting, or even when you're
halfway along the journey, youtruly start to realize how long
this process could take you.
Because it does take a goodamount of time.
It's not something that you cando overnight or in a week or in
a weekend or in a month.
(13:20):
You just can't, unless you're atthis like weird place where you
just need to declutter one roomand that's it.
Cool.
Like Monica's closet andfriends, I think about that all
the time.
We should all have a closetwhere we can just throw
anything, right?
That's not gonna be in our way.
Anyway.
I don't know if this is greatadvice, but if you have a
closet, I think that's amazingpart of this is being on a
journey, right?
We're all on a journey.
(13:40):
We've all been on a journey ourwhole lives, and sometimes we
forget with our working memory,how far we have truly come and
the foundation we are buildingoff of.
Because we've come so far, wehave done so much, and we are
not starting from scratch.
No matter where you are in yourhome, you're not starting from
scratch.
You have gotten rid ofsomething.
You have let go of something.
(14:00):
You have actually gone to adonation place before but this
intentional living thing is areally cool thing.
When I first became aprofessional organizer, I would
not have been able to tell youthese same things.
These came from a learnedexperience, and gosh, I cannot
wait to see where I'm at in ayear to be able to tell you what
else I've learned and how I'vegrown.
(14:21):
But in this moment, what I willtell you, what I couldn't have
told you a year ago is thatintentional living is
incredible.
Last year around January afterChristmas, I tried to cancel
Amazon.
Because I was like, this is it.
I don't need it anymore.
I'm just going to be way moreintentional with the way that I
spend.
But I couldn't do it.
(14:43):
There were still so many thingsand part of my coping
mechanisms, part of the way thatI dealt with my own stress and
the way that I handle life wasgoing to Amazon shopping,
getting that instantgratification, and then I went
and reinstated Amazon in orderto get to where I am now.
There's this frame hanging on mywall right now.
It looks like a window.
It's cool because it's it'stall, it's got panes in it.
(15:05):
But when I finally got it home,I bought it'cause I was like, I
like this.
I'm gonna buy it.
I'm gonna put it in my house.
But I had no actual place for itto go.
And it got hung up.
It was more just, I'm gonna fillthis in.
I'm just gonna put things inplaces because I have it and I'm
not gonna go out and spend moremoney'cause I already spent this
money, so why would I spend moremoney on this?
(15:26):
I was looking at it the otherday and I'm like, that's so
interesting how I now buythings.
'cause I don't buy things justto buy things anymore.
I buy them with intentionality.
I talked about this a little bitat Christmas time too.
When it comes to my kids' thingslike, especially when it comes
to my kids' things, I need toknow where it's gonna go because
now I'm not only managing my ownstuff, but I have to manage
their stuff too.
(15:47):
And they have a DHD, so tryingto figure out how to help them
clean up and put things away.
So that's a whole otheradventure.
But this year we went to Ikea atthe end of March, and I found
these really amazing bins.
It was white and it had a bamboocover on it, which is, so my
aesthetic right now, I'm justlike, Ooh, I really like that.
And it would fit in reallynicely with something.
(16:10):
But I couldn't quite put myfinger on what I could use it
for.
And I was like, oh my gosh,Megan, you can't buy this if
you're just gonna buy it to buyit because you are not about
that life anymore.
You're not gonna have it onhand.
You're not gonna use it as abackup thing.
And I left the store without it.
Oh my gosh.
I left the store without it, butI never stopped thinking about
(16:30):
it hilariously.
'cause it's just a bin.
This last Mother's day, I gotmarkers, I got brand new markers
for my beautiful coloring bookthat I color all my plants in
and my flowers, because that'smy preference, that I didn't
have a place for my markers.
They came in a container thatwasn't easy to use and I need
things to be easy And I waslike, oh my gosh.
(16:52):
I can buy the bin because Idon't have anything here.
I did try.
I went and looked at I think Ihad a zipper case that I was
trying to use for the markers,and I was like, this doesn't
work.
And secretly inside I was like,yes, I can go and buy this darn
bin that I have been putting offbuying because I finally have a
purpose for it.
But interestingly enough, that'snever been the way that I've
(17:14):
purchased things before.
I was so dysregulated andoverwhelmed by my clutter.
I was looking for any way toescape and any way to make
myself feel better in thosemoments.
If you're in those moments rightnow and I'm like, I'm getting a
little teary eyed about it, justcrazy, but like seriously, if
you're in those moments rightnow, I just want you to know
that you're not alone.
(17:35):
And that it does, it feelsoverwhelming.
It's super overwhelming to startto attack your clutter from a
place where you feel like you'rein control because you're not
gonna be in control right away.
Your clutter's gonna be therefor a little bit.
You're not gonna make you trulynoticeable differences unless
you break your back on a Sunday,emptying an entire closet to put
(17:56):
it back together again to notmake any true progress because
someone's gonna mess it up downthe line.
You're not alone because youdon't have to be a minimalist.
You don't have to redecorateyour room.
You just have to start.
If you're surrounded by stuffand you're frozen right now,
makes sense.
It's your nervous systemreacting to your environment.
So at this point, you're like Iliterally cannot do it.
(18:19):
You're not lazy.
You're overwhelmed, becauseguess what?
The clutter is not the onlything that you are dealing with.
We are literally never meant tobe this busy.
And now it feels like everythingout there, all of these tools,
all of these things out thereare just meant to make you more
busy.
They're like, oh, you can't fitthat all in.
Let me show you how you can fiteverything in.
(18:42):
It's no, I need to be able to doless.
We all need a do not do list sothat we can reference it when
things continue to come up andwe continue to get excited about
them.
Because if you're surrounded byclutter, my friend, you are not
lazy.
Some of you are on this journeyand you're doing it one step at
(19:02):
a time.
Some of you have been on thisjourney for a long time and
you're like, I can't make anyprogress.
What the heck is wrong with me?
And some of you are justbeginning.
No matter where you are.
I just want you to know thatyou're not behind.
You're exactly where you need tobe.
You had to go through all thesethings in life in order for you
to get to where you are in thismoment, and you are exactly
(19:23):
where you need to be.
I know what I need to know.
I know what I wanna do, and Iknow where I have been.
And today I only am today.
I don't have yesterday.
I don't have tomorrow.
So i'm gonna do with today thebest thing I know how to do.
You could listen to every singleepisode of this podcast.
You could listen to every singleepisode of any podcast that has
(19:43):
to do with decluttering orminimalism or organizing, and
you could try to do everythingthat they say to a t to
perfection.
You could read every self-helpbook out there and take
incredible notes and try toexecute that to perfection.
But what's cool about all ofthis stuff, about my podcast,
about the self-help books,everything that you hear is
(20:06):
going to be interpreted.
Through your own lens, whichmeans that you get to take it
and make it your own.
You get to take it and createthis life that you get to be
proud of.
Like you could create a podcastof letting go because I've
inspired you or Dana K White hasinspired you.
Or the clutter bug has inspiredyou.
(20:27):
Any of these people out there.
You could do that.
You could decide to embrace yourA DHD in a way that you're now
gonna find some way to helppeople embrace theirs too,
because there's so much to knowabout our brains that help you
succeed.
On the other side, minimalism isnot the answer.
It's got some really cool stuffto it, right?
(20:47):
And if you really want white,blank walls and, if that's
really what you want.
That's awesome, but just knowthat it's gonna take a really
long time to get there.
But that's a good thing becausewith each and every step that
you take, you get to build thisnew version of yourself.
Once you start to take action inyour home, you start to realize
(21:10):
that you are capable of this.
And then you start to look forother ways that you can be
capable and you do the dishesevery night and you're like,
wow, never done the dishes.
Every night.
You even try not to do thedishes one night and you're
like, oh my gosh, I physicallycan't now not do the dishes.
Obviously not the same personanymore, but you start to build
into this version of you younever thought possible.
(21:35):
I remember I was listening to apodcast.
It was Jenna Kutcher and thefinancial feminist.
I've only listened to a coupleepisodes, but this one really
spoke to me and they weretalking about how can you
imagine if we had this amount ofsuccess overnight?
And they were like, Oh my gosh,that would've been awful.
And I think about that sometimesI aspire to have, more and more
people come into my circle andmore and more people reach out
(21:57):
to me for all of these things.
But the truth is that I lovewhere I'm at right now.
I love meeting you.
I love the community that I'vedeveloped that's intimate and I
really get to know you.
And I really get to understandwho you are and what you need so
that I can grow too.
Because it reminds me of whereI've been and it reminds me of
where I'm at now, but it helpsme help you develop the mindset
(22:21):
that you want and need to get towhere you want to be.
Because this isn't just aboutgetting organized.
It's about believing in yourselfin a completely different way
and believing that you canactually succeed because if you
don't, there's your biggestroadblock right there.
And changing your beliefs is awhole nother podcast.
Okay, so in the end, thank youso much for listening.
(22:43):
Maybe I do aspire to be aminimalist, but I also just
really like stuff and I lovecolor and I love being
intentional with my space nowbecause I see how much that
truly fills me up.
And I'm also freaked out aboutletting everything go.
Holy smokes.
This is a lot.
It is a whole play on my nervoussystem.
And I'm like, what the hell am Idoing?
And I'm also having to help mygirls understand that this is
(23:06):
okay.
And then my husband's just alongfor the ride.
He is like, this is cool.
It's fine.
So like this is a journey.
And it's so interesting to be onthis journey'cause I never ever
saw myself this way, but becauseI was able to let go and uncover
and be on this journey, I wasable to see this truth.
That I could do this, that thisis a reality that I can make
(23:27):
happen, and I'm in control ofthat, despite all the clutter.
If this conversation hit homeand you're sitting in a space
full of clutter, or maybe you'vemade some progress, but you need
a little bit of extra support.
Maybe you're full of stuff, fullof shame or full of dreams and
you don't know where to start.
You are not alone.
And I have the organizing and aDHD brain community that I have
(23:50):
just recently moved over toCircle And it's incredible.
So I've got a ton of tools.
We have two virtualdecluttering, body doubling
sessions each month we have twobody doubling sessions that are
just quiet body doubling.
So do whatever you need to do.
I.
and then we also have groupcoaching every single month.
This month I'm going to teachyou how to sell on Facebook
(24:13):
marketplace.
It actually seems super easy,but I'm gonna give you some of
the things that I've known, likeeven how to speak to people, how
to negotiate with people, so itmakes it super easy to sell.
this is something I've beendoing for years now.
Which is funny, I'm not onFacebook anymore, but I now
commandeered my husband'sFacebook because I realized we
(24:35):
had so much to sell still, itallows me to not be on Facebook
socially.
It just allows me to be onFacebook to sell, so I can't
wait for that to happen in thecommunity.
We're gonna be doing a webinareach and every month too.
So I'm gonna link the join linkdown below.
When you join, you get enteredinto a drawing to win a free
(24:56):
decluttering session with me,and you get a 30 minute
one-on-one coaching session withme just for completing the
onboarding, which is super easy,really short.
It's$37 a month, and this monthuntil June 1st, which is my
birthday, you can join and get$10 off, the code is welcome.
10.
You can actually join monthly,quarterly, or yearly.
(25:19):
But the code will only workthrough June 1st As far as
coaching goes, I am doing verylimited coaching this summer
because we are traveling.
I do have an almost full load ofcoaching clients right now.
If you are interested, the calllink in the show notes below
does now work because apparentlyfor weeks it wasn't working
(25:41):
Thank you guys so much fortuning in.
Hey, if you do have time, Iwould love if you could leave a
review for the podcast, how itsupported you.
If there was something that youtook away from this episode
even, or in episodes previously,it would mean the world to me if
you would drop a comment or evensend me a text message to let me
know if this has impacted you atall.
I'm so excited to keep you onthis journey with us moving
(26:03):
across the country and figuringout what we do next.
We sold our car last Friday andlike it's happening, all of
these things are happening, andI'm still coming in hot with
more podcast episodes.
I'll see you next week.
Hey, welcome back to anotherepisode of organizing an A DHD
Brain.
It is springtime and I am soexcited about our adventure that
my family and I are about toembark on this summer.
So if you're new here, we areabout to sell our house and
we're selling everything we ownmost everything.
(00:20):
And if you're watching onYouTube,'cause I'll be posting
this on YouTube this week.
I don't know that my scene willlook the same next week.
I'm looking at the artwork onthe walls and the couch that's
behind me and these two reallycool cabinets that we bought
last year to complete my office.
And I don't know that this isgonna be the same next week, and
(00:41):
it feels a little weird and it'sexciting and it's scary and it's
sad.
It's bittersweet, but it's fun.
And it's adventurous.
As we look at letting go, I gotinspired for this episode today
to talk about why I don't aspireto be a minimalist, which seems
counterproductive to what I'mactually doing in my home.
(01:02):
So I've been letting go for solong, but part of it was because
I had so much, Before we divein, something that has been
coming up for me this week isjust how I've noticed my nervous
system reaction to a lot of justthe stuff that's happening in
our lives.
Not only letting go, but I'mstill building this business
(01:23):
and.
Understanding what I can handleand taking on enough, but not
too much so that I'm notoverdoing it.
Like how do I have boundarieswhen it doesn't feel like
anything's gonna slow downanytime soon?
Because it feels like our futureis so unknown.
It's scary and it's exciting,right?
Like it's all these things.
(01:44):
So we sold this table in ourfront hallway the other day, and
I remember my husband and Ireally being so purposeful about
what we were gonna put in thatfront hallway.
And part of it was because wehad gotten something before, but
it was really big and bulky.
And we found this table that wasperfect.
It was thin enough.
It met our decor needs, all ofthese things.
And then just last week we soldit.
(02:06):
And even my husband was like,oh, this feels so real now.
This feels like it's reallyhappening, and it doesn't feel
like there's a lot of normalhappening in our life right now.
And in fact, it's gonna get lessand less normal as we let more
and more go as we get closer toleaving and traveling across the
country.
It's been interesting because asI approach my clutter now as I
(02:29):
approach my stuff, I'm lookingat it from a different
perspective, but also some ofthe same perspectives that I had
when I first starteddecluttering years and years ago
about, wow, how do I letsomething go and let it feel?
Okay, I'm letting go ofeverything, but I don't want to
be a minimalist.
(02:50):
I wanna be.
An intentionalist.
I remember watching thedocumentary The Minimalists a
really long time ago.
It was two guys and then theywrote a book on it too.
It was great.
It was so awesome.
And that was originally what Iwanted to do was to become a
minimalist.
I just knew I had so much stuffand I saw what they had and I
was like, Ooh, what anincredible thing to aspire to
(03:12):
be.
As I started to take action andas I started to create clarity
and understanding in my ownlife, I started to see more and
more that's not actually what Iwanted after all.
And I wanna tell you a littlebit more about that.
So first up, I just wanna lookup minimalism.
Let's see what minimalismactually means.
Minimalism in essence, is aboutintentionally living with fewer
(03:36):
possessions, focusing on whattruly matters.
And eliminating unnecessarydistractions.
It's a philosophy thatencourages a simpler, more
mindful way of life, focusing onexperiences, meaningful
relationships, and personalgrowth over material
accumulation.
So it's focus on intentionality.
It's about making mindfulchoices about what you bring
(03:58):
into your life, both physicallyand mentally.
Prioritizing meaning and value.
It's about identifying whatbrings you joy and purpose in
surrounding yourself with thosethings.
Reducing distractions toclutter, so create a more
peaceful and unclutteredenvironment, both physically and
emotionally.
It's about living with less andorder to have freedom, time and
energy to pursue what trulymatters, and then eliminating
(04:21):
unnecessary possessions andcommitments.
Minimalists often find more timeand energy to focus on their
passions and goals.
I like my stuff.
I really like color.
And I really like books and Ilike pillows, and I like artwork
that hangs on the wall.
In fact, I really wanna hang aviolin on my wall someday.
(04:43):
I just think it'd be incredible.
And I like plants everywhere asa form of decor.
I even created mossy pictures inmy bedroom with gold outlines to
it.
I think when we think ofminimalism, we think of this in
an all or nothing mindset.
Whereas, okay, I've got a lot ofstuff.
(05:04):
This is where I'm at now.
In order to get where I'm going,I need to do it all.
And that's why sometimes when welook at our clutter, we go into
fight mode and we're like,that's it.
I'm getting rid of everything inthis moment right now, and no
one has a say in it.
I'm just throwing a bunch ofstuff away because I can't
handle it anymore.
But when it comes to A DHD, wedon't necessarily go about
(05:26):
attacking our clutter in a waythat really helps us, which is
why so many of us avoid startingin the first place.
But coming back to that all ornothing mindset, that all or
nothing mindset comes fromperfectionism.
We're seeking this perfectenvironment.
Where everything has a place,everything has a label,
(05:46):
everything has this perfectcontainer.
We know exactly what wallpaperis there and we wanna retile our
floors and make sure thateverything is perfect.
And at that point can we finallyrest and relax and say, I did
it.
I made it.
I don't aspire to be aminimalist because I see so many
similarities of minimalism withthis all or nothing mindset that
(06:10):
I've had with so many otherthings in my life.
Case in point.
Eating.
I've talked about having aneating disorder before and it's
so common in women with ADHDthat we have all or nothing.
And it's okay, if I know I'm notsupposed to have sugar, then I'm
not gonna have any sugar becauseeven having just one I know I'm
gonna try to have all.
And that can sometimes happenwhen we start with the clutter
(06:32):
and say, oh my gosh, I'm notgonna buy anything off of Amazon
anymore.
But then what do we do?
We're like, oh my gosh, i'mgoing into fight or flight mode,
and the only thing that's gonnahelp me get out of this is going
and impulse buying somethingbecause I know it's gonna make
me feel better, even though whenthe box gets here, I might let
it sit somewhere for literallyever, until I finally open up
and realize that this was justan impulse buy that made me feel
(06:55):
better in the moment, I don'teven remember getting it.
But when I think of minimalism,it's almost like I can't trust
myself, right?
I can't trust myself to keepanything, and I'm not gonna
succeed unless I have thelittlest amount of things that I
could possibly need in order tobe able to succeed.
But the problem here is it'slike diet culture for your home.
(07:17):
So now you're starting from aplace where you've never been
able to keep somethingdecluttered or organized before,
and now you're trying to get tothis place.
Of perfection, so to speak, it'sstarting from never being on a
diet before.
Maybe this is a brand new diet,and now you want to be a hundred
pounds less in 30 days, but weall know that's not realistic.
(07:40):
That's not a life that we cantruly sustain.
This is a journey.
And when you start to takeaction, no matter where you
start, because anywhere is theperfect place to start.
And when you start takingaction, you start to bring
clarity into your life so thatyou truly understand what kind
of life you wanna live.
(08:01):
And I think that's the mainpoint that I really, truly wanna
make here is that.
It is not about striving forthis like complete overhaul and
change and difference that youneed to make in your life.
It's about making smallstrategic changes that you can
actually sustain.
When my mom used to ask me toclean my room when I was a kid,
(08:23):
it would be such a mess by thetime she asked me to do it.
'Cause I never did it on my own.
I would never just likeproactively say.
Wow, what a messy room.
Let me go ahead and tidy up.
That was never on my mind.
Literally never.
So when she would ask me toclean my room, that was the time
for me to do an overhaul.
My bed has been in every singleplace in the room.
(08:43):
I'm picturing it right now.
I grew up in this old.
Farmhouse that was built in the18 hundreds.
part of the ceiling is comingin, so my bed could only fit
strategically in certain places,but if it could fit in a place,
I found the place that it couldfit in because I figured out
every single possibleconfiguration I could have that
bed in.
In addition to that, I moved thefurniture around and then all of
(09:05):
this little stuff, the littlethings, all the things that
needed to be put away, they gotshoved somewhere.
In a drawer under the bedanywhere I could think of.
I was probably intentional withsome things, but I didn't know
how to organize.
I didn't know how to put thingsaway, in a way that I could find
them again.
So I just overhauled the entireroom so that I could feel like
(09:26):
it was something I could beproud of, but the truth is I was
never able to keep up with it Ithrive on different, I love
adventure.
That's probably why we're movingacross the country again.
But it was this all or nothingmentality.
I'm like, okay well, if I'mreally gonna make a change well,
this is exciting, right?
There's that dopamine hit foryou.
I get to do a project.
This is my interior designproject in my room.
(09:49):
But the truth is that in orderfor me to truly be in control of
my stuff.
I needed to understand how tolet go.
I needed to let go of some ofthe things that truly weren't
filling up my cup in thosemoments so that I could
understand how to live a lifethat mattered.
I saw a video of anotherprofessional organizer the other
day, and I so wish I had hername because I would totally
(10:09):
shout her out.
But she said that.
When you buy something, you givethat thing a job.
You're giving that thing a jobto do in your home.
And if that thing is no longerdoing the job in your home, then
you need to figure out if youneed to let it go or not.
You need to figure out if it'sadding to your life or not.
And I think that's a reallysimple way of looking at things
(10:30):
okay, I like, let's take paperclips for example.
I'm gonna buy paper clips toclip papers together.
But the truth is, in my reality,I actually don't ever need a
paperclip.
And so if I come across one, itgoes in the trash because I
don't buy them.
I don't need them.
It's not something that helps mein my life, because if I ever
(10:51):
get to the point where I need toclip papers together I'll use my
stapler, or.
I likely will find somethingelse in my caboodles of oodles
of things somewhere because Istill have a lot of stuff.
Another reason why I don'tnecessarily aspire to be a
minimalist in the traditionalsense where you type in
minimalism on a Google search,and you'll see a lot of beige
(11:12):
walls and don't come at me.
My walls in the back areagreeable gray, but I also have
a mountain behind me, you cansee, and I've got quotes up on
the wall in gold lettering, andI can see two plants.
And I've got bookends of HarryPotter running through the books
and coming out.
Platform nine and three quarterson the other end.
And I've got my diploma and Ilike everything that I have in
(11:33):
this room is strategicallyplaced.
I love my stuff and I lovecolor.
And I did a podcast episode withEllie who is an artist out of.
Copenhagen.
And we were talking about colorand how color helps us live a
better life.
It helps us get the dopaminethat we're looking for on a
regular basis.
(11:54):
And let me tell you, some of thepeople that I work with, my,
clients, their homes.
Are really cool, like the designfeatures are incredible and like
lights and wallpaper and thefurniture that was chosen and
the colors on the walls, likeit's top notch.
But here's the thing, justbecause you do those things like
(12:15):
a complete overhaul of yourhome, doesn't mean that you're
now going to be all of a suddenorganized and inspired to put
everything back where it goes.
Nope, we still have a DHD afterall.
And that's why I always say it'snot the bin that's gonna make
you organized.
It's the strategies, it's thesystems that work for you.
It's working with the brain youalready have, not with the brain
(12:36):
you wish you had.
Because the truth is this A DHDisn't going away.
I still have time blindness, Istill have executive function
issues.
I still struggle on a dailybasis with so many of the ways
that our brain work.
But I also embrace it now alittle bit more.
Okay, so coming back to this,all or nothing thinking.
(12:59):
I do think that intentionalliving is a really cool place to
get to, but when you'restarting, or even when you're
halfway along the journey, youtruly start to realize how long
this process could take you.
Because it does take a goodamount of time.
It's not something that you cando overnight or in a week or in
a weekend or in a month.
(13:20):
You just can't, unless you're atthis like weird place where you
just need to declutter one roomand that's it.
Cool.
Like Monica's closet andfriends, I think about that all
the time.
We should all have a closetwhere we can just throw
anything, right?
That's not gonna be in our way.
Anyway.
I don't know if this is greatadvice, but if you have a
closet, I think that's amazingpart of this is being on a
journey, right?
We're all on a journey.
(13:40):
We've all been on a journey ourwhole lives, and sometimes we
forget with our working memory,how far we have truly come and
the foundation we are buildingoff of.
Because we've come so far, wehave done so much, and we are
not starting from scratch.
No matter where you are in yourhome, you're not starting from
scratch.
You have gotten rid ofsomething.
You have let go of something.
(14:00):
You have actually gone to adonation place before but this
intentional living thing is areally cool thing.
When I first became aprofessional organizer, I would
not have been able to tell youthese same things.
These came from a learnedexperience, and gosh, I cannot
wait to see where I'm at in ayear to be able to tell you what
else I've learned and how I'vegrown.
(14:21):
But in this moment, what I willtell you, what I couldn't have
told you a year ago is thatintentional living is
incredible.
Last year around January afterChristmas, I tried to cancel
Amazon.
Because I was like, this is it.
I don't need it anymore.
I'm just going to be way moreintentional with the way that I
spend.
But I couldn't do it.
(14:43):
There were still so many thingsand part of my coping
mechanisms, part of the way thatI dealt with my own stress and
the way that I handle life wasgoing to Amazon shopping,
getting that instantgratification, and then I went
and reinstated Amazon in orderto get to where I am now.
There's this frame hanging on mywall right now.
It looks like a window.
It's cool because it's it'stall, it's got panes in it.
(15:05):
But when I finally got it home,I bought it'cause I was like, I
like this.
I'm gonna buy it.
I'm gonna put it in my house.
But I had no actual place for itto go.
And it got hung up.
It was more just, I'm gonna fillthis in.
I'm just gonna put things inplaces because I have it and I'm
not gonna go out and spend moremoney'cause I already spent this
money, so why would I spend moremoney on this?
(15:26):
I was looking at it the otherday and I'm like, that's so
interesting how I now buythings.
'cause I don't buy things justto buy things anymore.
I buy them with intentionality.
I talked about this a little bitat Christmas time too.
When it comes to my kids' thingslike, especially when it comes
to my kids' things, I need toknow where it's gonna go because
now I'm not only managing my ownstuff, but I have to manage
their stuff too.
(15:47):
And they have a DHD, so tryingto figure out how to help them
clean up and put things away.
So that's a whole otheradventure.
But this year we went to Ikea atthe end of March, and I found
these really amazing bins.
It was white and it had a bamboocover on it, which is, so my
aesthetic right now, I'm justlike, Ooh, I really like that.
And it would fit in reallynicely with something.
(16:10):
But I couldn't quite put myfinger on what I could use it
for.
And I was like, oh my gosh,Megan, you can't buy this if
you're just gonna buy it to buyit because you are not about
that life anymore.
You're not gonna have it onhand.
You're not gonna use it as abackup thing.
And I left the store without it.
Oh my gosh.
I left the store without it, butI never stopped thinking about
(16:30):
it hilariously.
'cause it's just a bin.
This last Mother's day, I gotmarkers, I got brand new markers
for my beautiful coloring bookthat I color all my plants in
and my flowers, because that'smy preference, that I didn't
have a place for my markers.
They came in a container thatwasn't easy to use and I need
things to be easy And I waslike, oh my gosh.
(16:52):
I can buy the bin because Idon't have anything here.
I did try.
I went and looked at I think Ihad a zipper case that I was
trying to use for the markers,and I was like, this doesn't
work.
And secretly inside I was like,yes, I can go and buy this darn
bin that I have been putting offbuying because I finally have a
purpose for it.
But interestingly enough, that'snever been the way that I've
(17:14):
purchased things before.
I was so dysregulated andoverwhelmed by my clutter.
I was looking for any way toescape and any way to make
myself feel better in thosemoments.
If you're in those moments rightnow and I'm like, I'm getting a
little teary eyed about it, justcrazy, but like seriously, if
you're in those moments rightnow, I just want you to know
that you're not alone.
(17:35):
And that it does, it feelsoverwhelming.
It's super overwhelming to startto attack your clutter from a
place where you feel like you'rein control because you're not
gonna be in control right away.
Your clutter's gonna be therefor a little bit.
You're not gonna make you trulynoticeable differences unless
you break your back on a Sunday,emptying an entire closet to put
(17:56):
it back together again to notmake any true progress because
someone's gonna mess it up downthe line.
You're not alone because youdon't have to be a minimalist.
You don't have to redecorateyour room.
You just have to start.
If you're surrounded by stuffand you're frozen right now,
makes sense.
It's your nervous systemreacting to your environment.
So at this point, you're like Iliterally cannot do it.
(18:19):
You're not lazy.
You're overwhelmed, becauseguess what?
The clutter is not the onlything that you are dealing with.
We are literally never meant tobe this busy.
And now it feels like everythingout there, all of these tools,
all of these things out thereare just meant to make you more
busy.
They're like, oh, you can't fitthat all in.
Let me show you how you can fiteverything in.
(18:42):
It's no, I need to be able to doless.
We all need a do not do list sothat we can reference it when
things continue to come up andwe continue to get excited about
them.
Because if you're surrounded byclutter, my friend, you are not
lazy.
Some of you are on this journeyand you're doing it one step at
(19:02):
a time.
Some of you have been on thisjourney for a long time and
you're like, I can't make anyprogress.
What the heck is wrong with me?
And some of you are justbeginning.
No matter where you are.
I just want you to know thatyou're not behind.
You're exactly where you need tobe.
You had to go through all thesethings in life in order for you
to get to where you are in thismoment, and you are exactly
(19:23):
where you need to be.
I know what I need to know.
I know what I wanna do, and Iknow where I have been.
And today I only am today.
I don't have yesterday.
I don't have tomorrow.
So i'm gonna do with today thebest thing I know how to do.
You could listen to every singleepisode of this podcast.
You could listen to every singleepisode of any podcast that has
(19:43):
to do with decluttering orminimalism or organizing, and
you could try to do everythingthat they say to a t to
perfection.
You could read every self-helpbook out there and take
incredible notes and try toexecute that to perfection.
But what's cool about all ofthis stuff, about my podcast,
about the self-help books,everything that you hear is
(20:06):
going to be interpreted.
Through your own lens, whichmeans that you get to take it
and make it your own.
You get to take it and createthis life that you get to be
proud of.
Like you could create a podcastof letting go because I've
inspired you or Dana K White hasinspired you.
Or the clutter bug has inspiredyou.
(20:27):
Any of these people out there.
You could do that.
You could decide to embrace yourA DHD in a way that you're now
gonna find some way to helppeople embrace theirs too,
because there's so much to knowabout our brains that help you
succeed.
On the other side, minimalism isnot the answer.
It's got some really cool stuffto it, right?
(20:47):
And if you really want white,blank walls and, if that's
really what you want.
That's awesome, but just knowthat it's gonna take a really
long time to get there.
But that's a good thing becausewith each and every step that
you take, you get to build thisnew version of yourself.
Once you start to take action inyour home, you start to realize
(21:10):
that you are capable of this.
And then you start to look forother ways that you can be
capable and you do the dishesevery night and you're like,
wow, never done the dishes.
Every night.
You even try not to do thedishes one night and you're
like, oh my gosh, I physicallycan't now not do the dishes.
Obviously not the same personanymore, but you start to build
into this version of you younever thought possible.
(21:35):
I remember I was listening to apodcast.
It was Jenna Kutcher and thefinancial feminist.
I've only listened to a coupleepisodes, but this one really
spoke to me and they weretalking about how can you
imagine if we had this amount ofsuccess overnight?
And they were like, Oh my gosh,that would've been awful.
And I think about that sometimesI aspire to have, more and more
people come into my circle andmore and more people reach out
(21:57):
to me for all of these things.
But the truth is that I lovewhere I'm at right now.
I love meeting you.
I love the community that I'vedeveloped that's intimate and I
really get to know you.
And I really get to understandwho you are and what you need so
that I can grow too.
Because it reminds me of whereI've been and it reminds me of
where I'm at now, but it helpsme help you develop the mindset
(22:21):
that you want and need to get towhere you want to be.
Because this isn't just aboutgetting organized.
It's about believing in yourselfin a completely different way
and believing that you canactually succeed because if you
don't, there's your biggestroadblock right there.
And changing your beliefs is awhole nother podcast.
Okay, so in the end, thank youso much for listening.
(22:43):
Maybe I do aspire to be aminimalist, but I also just
really like stuff and I lovecolor and I love being
intentional with my space nowbecause I see how much that
truly fills me up.
And I'm also freaked out aboutletting everything go.
Holy smokes.
This is a lot.
It is a whole play on my nervoussystem.
And I'm like, what the hell am Idoing?
And I'm also having to help mygirls understand that this is
(23:06):
okay.
And then my husband's just alongfor the ride.
He is like, this is cool.
It's fine.
So like this is a journey.
And it's so interesting to be onthis journey'cause I never ever
saw myself this way, but becauseI was able to let go and uncover
and be on this journey, I wasable to see this truth.
That I could do this, that thisis a reality that I can make
(23:27):
happen, and I'm in control ofthat, despite all the clutter.
If this conversation hit homeand you're sitting in a space
full of clutter, or maybe you'vemade some progress, but you need
a little bit of extra support.
Maybe you're full of stuff, fullof shame or full of dreams and
you don't know where to start.
You are not alone.
And I have the organizing and aDHD brain community that I have
(23:50):
just recently moved over toCircle And it's incredible.
So I've got a ton of tools.
We have two virtualdecluttering, body doubling
sessions each month we have twobody doubling sessions that are
just quiet body doubling.
So do whatever you need to do.
I.
and then we also have groupcoaching every single month.
This month I'm going to teachyou how to sell on Facebook
(24:13):
marketplace.
It actually seems super easy,but I'm gonna give you some of
the things that I've known, likeeven how to speak to people, how
to negotiate with people, so itmakes it super easy to sell.
this is something I've beendoing for years now.
Which is funny, I'm not onFacebook anymore, but I now
commandeered my husband'sFacebook because I realized we
(24:35):
had so much to sell still, itallows me to not be on Facebook
socially.
It just allows me to be onFacebook to sell, so I can't
wait for that to happen in thecommunity.
We're gonna be doing a webinareach and every month too.
So I'm gonna link the join linkdown below.
When you join, you get enteredinto a drawing to win a free
(24:56):
decluttering session with me,and you get a 30 minute
one-on-one coaching session withme just for completing the
onboarding, which is super easy,really short.
It's$37 a month, and this monthuntil June 1st, which is my
birthday, you can join and get$10 off, the code is welcome.
10.
You can actually join monthly,quarterly, or yearly.
(25:19):
But the code will only workthrough June 1st As far as
coaching goes, I am doing verylimited coaching this summer
because we are traveling.
I do have an almost full load ofcoaching clients right now.
If you are interested, the calllink in the show notes below
does now work because apparentlyfor weeks it wasn't working
(25:41):
Thank you guys so much fortuning in.
Hey, if you do have time, Iwould love if you could leave a
review for the podcast, how itsupported you.
If there was something that youtook away from this episode
even, or in episodes previously,it would mean the world to me if
you would drop a comment or evensend me a text message to let me
know if this has impacted you atall.
I'm so excited to keep you onthis journey with us moving
(26:03):
across the country and figuringout what we do next.
We sold our car last Friday andlike it's happening, all of
these things are happening, andI'm still coming in hot with
more podcast episodes.
I'll see you next week.
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