June 30, 2025 • 22 mins
In this special episode, the host shares her ongoing journey of moving across the country with her neurodivergent family. She candidly discusses the chaos and emotional whirlwind associated with the move, touching upon the unique challenges posed by ADHD. Topics include the disorder's impact on organization, the emotional rollercoaster of moving, and practical tips for managing clutter and overwhelm. The host also highlights the importance of self-regulation and self-care, offering a glimpse into her personal methods for maintaining balance during this hectic time. The episode wraps up with an invitation to join her community, designed to support other women in organizing their lives while managing ADHD.
05:12 Emotional Rollercoaster
07:40 Managing Working Memory
10:22 Decluttering Tips for Movers
12:49 The Importance of Regulation
17:13 Community and Support
Join the Organizing an ADHD Brain COMMUNITY waitlist for the FALL: What is the Community?
Looking for ADHD-friendly support with decluttering, organizing, or just making life feel a little less chaotic? The new Ways To Connect page is your go-to hub for real-life tools, gentle guidance, and ways to connect—free and paid, no pressure.
The TO DO list Daily Planner is available here! TO DO List Daily Planner
The ULTIMATE Recycling & Disposal Guide: Disposal Guide
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to a very specialepisode of me in my closet,
because I don't have a recordingstudio right now.
I haven't really opened up aboutwhat's going on with the move we
are about to close on our houseon July 14th, and we're gonna
begin a trek across the countryto land on the East Coast, and
it's been, shall we say, hectic,exhausting.
(00:23):
Full of excitement, tears.
I go through periods of beinghappy, sad.
There's all kinds of emotionsthat are coming up for me right
now and for my family, and it'sbeen an interesting turn of
events.
So this week I wanna talk to youabout moving with A DHD because.
It's not just me, it is myentire family.
(00:45):
We are a neurodivergent family,which means that organization
can be a challenge for us.
the first thing I wanna talkabout is the chaos.
Chaos is normal.
Chaos is expected in our livesand because we're often so
chaotic in our heads and we'reso hyperactively thinking about
one thing versus the otherthing, versus the next thing,
(01:07):
versus the thing that happenedpreviously, that chaos can
manifest in our world around us.
which is why a lot of us haveclutter.
All around us because we can'tquite manage everything that's
going on in our head and wecan't quite manage everything
that is physically manifestedaround us as well.
So through A lot of decisionmaking and through a lot of
(01:29):
trying to understand my ownbrain, getting an A DHD
diagnosis, learning how to sellon Facebook marketplace, reading
every single book that's outthere on learning how to let go
and declutter and organize in away that works for me.
I am at the point where my lifefeels so incredibly chaotic and
I thought.
Oh, I'm gonna get to the pointwith this move that it's gonna
(01:51):
just feel normal.
It'll just feel like I'm incontrol of things.
It's a cute thought and also notvery realistic because we have
kids who have a lot of feelingsabout everything that's going
on.
We've got a lot of people thatwe wanna see as we're trying to
leave Colorado.
We had to buy a new car, whichwe did last week.
(02:12):
We're also purchasing a trailerso that we can.
Bring just a few items with us,and as furniture is leaving our
house, the places that we wouldnormally go to look for things,
because we trust ourselves toput things back where they go,
that's not the reality anylonger.
So not only are things leavingand we're changing things, but
(02:34):
we're creating chaos because weare not used to living where
things don't go back, where theygo.
Just this morning I was lookingfor the Q-tips and we had a
garage sale this weekend and Isold our Q-tip holder along with
the rest of the decor in thebathroom but I'm standing there
(02:55):
looking on the bathroom counterfor our Q-tip holder.
But it's not there anymorebecause I put the Q-Tips in a
traveling case right behind me,so it's not very far away.
I was standing there for about45 seconds when I realized.
What the hell am I looking for?
I was looking for I had thispicture in my mind of what I was
looking for, but wasn't activelyin my brain saying, oh, I need a
(03:17):
Q-tip.
Let me look for this.
I was looking for the containerthat it was in.
And this should show you thestate of things because I'm
crying a little bit right now atabout the Q-Tips.
And this leads me into thesecond thing is that while you
might start to get a handle onthings, if you are moving, you
are not gonna know where thingsare.
And that's part of just makingpeace with it I think looking
(03:39):
back on it, I could have donethings a little bit differently
and I'm doing a great job.
Ultimately when it comes to, wehave one room up front where,
which is all the things thatwe're bringing with us.
The garage is where we'reselling things and we're having
another garage sale nextweekend.
We have some things that westill have to go through and
we're still making decisions on.
(04:01):
I do have Doom piles everywhere.
Yep.
Professional organizer here, andI've got doom piles.
one of them is all the stuff weneed to do, some minor fix ups
before we leave.
Another is a pile of toys that,the girls haven't decided if
they wanna take or go yet, Ishare this because it reminds me
of when I first started.
(04:22):
When I first thought there wasabsolutely no hope for me that I
wouldn't be able to get anythingunder control, it just reminded
me how much trust I had to buildwith myself in order to start
creating homes for things.
And I started to create homesfor things by using the phrase,
(04:44):
where would I go to look forthis if I were trying to find
it?
Where would future me go to lookfor it if I were trying to find
it?
And that's worked for years,except that now that we're
moving the places that I wouldgo to look for things, to find
them aren't there anymore.
And the habits that I've createdfor myself, I'm having to break
(05:08):
because we are shaking thingsup.
We are really shaking things up.
I'd say number three.
I'll share the emotions.
And with a DHD, we feel emotionswith everything that we do.
There's so much emotion.
Sometimes it's immense joy orhappiness.
(05:28):
Sometimes it's immense sadness,there's a lot going into every
decision that we're making now.
Because it defines our future.
There's a lot of happiness.
Like we're excited, we're veryexcited about this next chapter
of our lives, but we're reallysad.
It's very sad to leave behindthe life that we've created here
(05:51):
and the friends that we've had.
And that we've met and thatwe've built relationships with.
The dogs are saying hi.
They're like, what are you doingin the closet, mom, thanks.
Thanks for the lick.
Okay guys, I'm recording apodcast.
Yeah.
Can I have a minute?
Can I have a minute?
Thanks for the love.
Okay.
Alright.
Go see Dad.
Go see Dad.
(06:12):
Go on.
On Friday night, we got a bunchof the neighbors together.
We all brought our campingchairs out to one of my friend's
houses.
All the kids came with theirbikes and they all rode around
the cul-de-sac until it was darkoutside.
We brought water balloons and meand the other moms filled them
up and we had all of the kidsstand out on the sidewalk until
(06:35):
I yelled Crocodile and as soonas I yelled they were able to
come up and get water balloonsas the adults were pegging them.
It's really pretty hilarious.
I'm sad to say goodbye to thatmoment, and I'm not saying
goodbye to that'cause that's amemory.
I'm sad to say goodbye to thisneighborhood.
And because I flex so much inthis space of what it's like to
(06:56):
say goodbye and knowing.
That it's just going to make mestronger and reminding myself
that I trust myself to make theright decisions, and my husband
and I trust each other to leadus in the right direction.
I'm okay with the sadness.
I'm okay with the letting go,and it's because I flex that
(07:16):
muzzle.
Now what I suggest start withmoving and selling everything.
No.
This is an evolutionary process,but the emotions are big ones.
What I'm remembering as we gothrough this is to feel them.
I was just mopping my kitchenfloor that no longer has a
kitchen table in it, and Istarted crying and I am allowed
(07:38):
to, so I'm gonna do it.
I think the fourth thing I'lltalk about here is my working
memory and how I always say onthe podcast when everything is
important, nothing is important,and the reason why I say that is
because when we're thinkingabout so many things.
About being the best mom about,having the best body or being in
(08:00):
the best shape, or, trying tosign up our kids for everything
or having a capsule wardrobe andredoing our floors or maybe
doing another project ordecluttering or wanting to do
this and that, and this andthat, and this and that.
When we're thinking about all ofthose things, none of them is
important because.
(08:22):
They're all important, but if wehave our brain in all of these
different compartments, itdoesn't allow anything to take
precedence or priority, and thishappens with A DHD, it's very
hard to set priorities becausewe get excited about so many
things we want to do so manythings.
We wanna say yes to all of theevents.
(08:44):
We want to do all the thingswith all the people.
But when we do that, we forgetto take care of ourselves and
the things that are the mostimportant without us truly
realizing it.
But knowing that about ourselvesgives us the opportunity to
think about it and notice itmore.
Which means that when we've donethe noticing, we start to say,
wow, how could I do thisdifferently?
(09:06):
How could I figure this out?
And just because we'reapproaching it from a different
perspective, because we knowwhat our brain does.
Doesn't mean that we always seeit in the moment.
Right now I am seeing thateverything feels like it's
important and as we're planningour trip back to the east coast,
I know that I am going to needto pack for the trip and figure
(09:27):
out which clothes we're gonnawear while we're traveling back
to the East coast.
Will we need stuff for thebeach?
Will we need stuff for hiking?
Things like that.
But that is not.
What's most important tomorrow?
I've got to break it down andsay, what are three things that
I could do tomorrow that's gonnaget us closer to being able to
(09:48):
leave this house on July 14th?
The working memory, the best wayI've heard it described it's as
if we have, four slots up herein our front brain where we're
doing most of our thinking andour decision making, but when
emotions come into play, thattakes up one of the slots.
And when you're running abusiness that's gonna take up
(10:09):
another slot, especially whenthere's so much going on there.
When you're trying to manageother people's emotions, things
could just keep getting bumpedand it's so much easier to
forget what could be the mostimportant thing.
Number five, and I'm gonna saythis for the people who might be
moving now, you found thispodcast, and you're like, oh,
I'm moving and I wanna selleverything.
(10:30):
This sounds like a great idea.
Here's what I will say aboutthat.
If you're a couple weeks awayfrom moving, a month away from
moving, two months away frommoving, if you have not been
working on decluttering yourhome for a very long time.
This is a very long process andas we're selling stuff, as we're
(10:52):
having garage sales, postingthings on Facebook marketplace,
it is another full-time job.
It is a lot of work.
It's a lot of time, it's a lotof exhaustion and if it's
something that you're trying forthe first time, it's gonna cause
some stress, actually, a lot ofstress.
I remember moving, I've movedacross the country.
I've moved from apartment toapartment, and when it gets down
(11:15):
to the wire like this, it's soeasy to just throw things in a
box and say, I'll deal with itwhen I get there.
And I'm not doing that this timeThe only reason why I'm not
doing that this time is becauseit's taken me years to get to
this point where I know whatfills up my life.
I've made very strategicdecisions, and I've stopped
(11:35):
myself from being able toimpulsively shop or impulsively
do this or that.
It doesn't mean that I don'tstill have those impulses.
I just now am able to thinkthings through a little bit so
if you're at the point whereyou'd really like to sell things
you don't wanna take as muchwith you, I truly encourage you
to take a ton to Goodwill.
(11:56):
Take a box to Goodwill everysingle day.
I say Goodwill because it'seasy.
They take everything and theyhave the best hours.
If you're used to goingsomewhere else, and you know
what?
Their limits and their rules areamazing, but there's a lot of
limits and rules for a lot ofthe places that you donate to
and that's another barrier toyou getting stuff out of your
(12:17):
house.
So if that's one of thebarriers, eliminate that barrier
by taking it to the easiestplace, the place that'll be
closest to you.
And just being realistic withyourself, being realistic about
what you're able to accomplish,what you're able to do as you're
going through such a stressfultime.
Because I don't know that thereis a way to truly slow down.
(12:41):
With that being said, number sixis reminding yourself that you
are in no rush.
I've talked just a little bitabout regulation on the podcast,
and I will continue to talkabout this as we go through the
summer and into this fall.
Regulation I have found is oneof the most important things to
(13:02):
recognize when you have a DHD.
We are in a constant fight orflight mode and we handle so
many of the situations we're infight, flight, freeze, or fawn
mode.
This includes but is not limitedto the way that you approach
your clutter.
It's when we're in ourprefrontal cortex, when we take
some deep breaths, we get backto that front brain to make
(13:24):
conscious decisions that we canmake decisions that support us a
little bit more.
So something I have beennoticing as we're exhausted, as
we're pushing ourselves, aswe're losing our minds, setting
things down and not knowingwhere they are, because we don't
have our normal surfacesanymore.
I've noticed more and more whenI'm tired.
(13:46):
For example, last Friday I wasexhausted and when I noticed
normally I would push through.
I would try to ignore it, whichworks.
I'm very good at ignoring whenmy body is telling me something,
but because I'm noticing howexhausted I am, I took myself
outside and sat in my favoriteegg chair and did the 5 4, 3, 2,
(14:10):
1 regulation method.
I just recorded a video For mycommunity on this, we have a
regulation station in thecommunity and it's just
different ideas on how to getyourself back to the front of
your brain so you can makeconscious decisions.
you noticed five things aroundyou look at them with your eyes,
you feel four things around you.
(14:31):
So feel them and you can evensay, oh, I feel this dress and
it feels soft.
Three things that you can hear.
Two things that you can smelland one thing that you can taste
and one thing that you'regrateful for.
Gratitude is so important in ourlives.
Just being grateful for thethings that we have around us.
You can always find somethingelse to be grateful for, even if
(14:52):
life feels like it's coming downaround you.
But as I sat there, I reallystarted to notice how much I
love my backyard.
And how calm I felt in thatmoment.
Just being peaceful with thebreeze and the way the trees
were moving.
Or even just noticing the dogsand them sitting.
And I love when they put theirface in the air and smell the
(15:13):
air.
It's very peaceful.
I wasn't out there for reallymore than five minutes, but
taking that rest was so amazing.
Just like we handle so manythings with this all or nothing
attitude.
Sometimes we feel like we needto do that when we're taking a
rest or giving ourselves somequote unquote self care.
(15:33):
But it only takes a minute orfive minutes or however much
time you can truly spare insteadof pushing through.
How could you take a moment foryourself?
And I've noticed that a lot morelately.
We actually planned massages fortoday.
My husband and I knew we weregonna need to get outta the
house after having so muchchaos.
So I had a massage first, and myhusband took the girls out to
(15:55):
eat and then they went puck puttgolfing.
Then my husband had a massagenext and I took the girls to a
park in downtown ColoradoSprings and they also played on
the splash pad.
And it was amazing.
But as we were driving home, wehad some other plans or some
other things that we wanted todo, and I noticed how tired I
was and I said, no we've gottago home.
(16:17):
I'm feeling exhausted right now,and if I don't take a rest, I'm
going to burn myself out.
And I just don't wanna do itanymore.
I don't want everything to takeprecedence because as I've said
so many times, again, our to-dolist is never gonna get any
shorter.
In fact, this house, there's somany things I'd like to do
(16:39):
before I leave, just to get itready for the new owners.
And guess what?
I'm not gonna be able to geteverything done.
And the to-do list is nevergoing to get any shorter.
But what I can do is I can getin front of it and I can take
time to pause.
I can practice taking time topause.
I can create a habit of takingtime to pause of disconnecting
(17:00):
from my phone of rememberingthat it's okay to be bored.
It's okay that I'm not in a rushand reminding myself that even
when I feel like I'm in a rushsometimes I'm just doing that to
myself.
So in the end, I just wannaremind you that a DHD doesn't go
away.
While it doesn't go away, thereare ways to manage A DHD in a
(17:22):
way that makes sense for you.
And part of that comes withawareness and comes with the
fact that we were never meant tobe this busy.
There's so much information,there's so much technology,
there's so much advancementhappening every single day.
We couldn't possibly keep upwith everything.
But that doesn't mean that's nota reason to start.
(17:43):
I am so excited.
so for the rest of the summer,I've got some really amazing
interviews coming up.
I'm gonna do one more soloepisode before we leave, and I
am no longer taking one-on-oneclients this summer.
If you're listening to thistoday on Monday, June 30th, this
is the last day to join theorganizing and a DHD Brain
(18:06):
community.
I really wanna take some time tonurture the people that are
there so that we can get to knoweach other, get to know what's
going on, and really figure outhow to get started so that we
can find the momentum tocontinue to understand that
we're not alone.
That you might be embarrassedabout the crap that you have
everywhere, but guess what?
(18:28):
So many other people are too.
And knowing that you're notalone is part of that ridiculous
battle.
Just knowing that, oh my gosh ifI feel shame and she feels
shame, we could feel shametogether, but we could also feel
empowered together to get onething done, to do the little
stuff and to feel celebratedbecause Megs has done it too.
And now she's on a totally otherside of things.
(18:50):
I've evolved.
I've been where you're at.
I know what it's like to feeloverwhelmed by your clutter, and
let me tell you, I know whatit's like again right now, in
this moment as our freaking lifeis getting turned upside down
and I don't feel like I'm incontrol of anything.
And that's why I created thecommunity because I wanted women
(19:11):
to know.
That just because you feel likeyour world is upside down and
you can't ever get unburied, ifyou will, from the stuff around
you.
I'm here as living proof to tellyou that you can, and there are
so many other women who are alsoin my community that will tell
you the same.
One of my favorite things waswhen one of my coaching clients
(19:33):
that I had been working withfor.
Oh gosh.
About six months came into thecommunity and we were having one
of our very first group coachingsessions, and she told me in our
session that week, she waslistening to the way someone
else was describing theirclutter and she realized how far
she had come.
It just gave her the perspectiveshe needed to realize how much
(19:56):
work she'd done to get where sheis now.
There was still so much she wasworking on and.
She saw and gave herself creditfor the fact that she had gotten
to where she is.
That's part of it.
We're all gonna be on differentlevels.
We're all gonna be at differentpoints, but I created this
community for you and for me sothat we could have each other
(20:19):
because it's about A DHD, butit's also about figuring out
what lights us up now, not thepast, not the future.
What lights us up in this momentand how can we truly uncover
that in our lives?
so that we can uncover thatstuff and it's not hidden by our
past or our future.
It's right out there in the openfor us to see.
(20:40):
So I invite you in organizing anA DHD brain community.
It's$37 a month or$33 a month ifyou purchase by the quarter.
And then you can do the math.
There's a yearly membership too.
So go check it out.
Regardless, thank you so muchfor being a part of this
podcast.
I'm honored that you're herelistening.
if this podcast has resonatedwith you at all, I would be
(21:02):
honored.
If you take a moment to go,leave me a review and tell me
what you've thought or even justsend me a message.
I hope you're having anincredible summer, and I will
see you next week.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to a very specialepisode of me in my closet,
because I don't have a recordingstudio right now.
I haven't really opened up aboutwhat's going on with the move we
are about to close on our houseon July 14th, and we're gonna
begin a trek across the countryto land on the East Coast, and
it's been, shall we say, hectic,exhausting.
(00:23):
Full of excitement, tears.
I go through periods of beinghappy, sad.
There's all kinds of emotionsthat are coming up for me right
now and for my family, and it'sbeen an interesting turn of
events.
So this week I wanna talk to youabout moving with A DHD because.
It's not just me, it is myentire family.
(00:45):
We are a neurodivergent family,which means that organization
can be a challenge for us.
the first thing I wanna talkabout is the chaos.
Chaos is normal.
Chaos is expected in our livesand because we're often so
chaotic in our heads and we'reso hyperactively thinking about
one thing versus the otherthing, versus the next thing,
(01:07):
versus the thing that happenedpreviously, that chaos can
manifest in our world around us.
which is why a lot of us haveclutter.
All around us because we can'tquite manage everything that's
going on in our head and wecan't quite manage everything
that is physically manifestedaround us as well.
So through A lot of decisionmaking and through a lot of
(01:29):
trying to understand my ownbrain, getting an A DHD
diagnosis, learning how to sellon Facebook marketplace, reading
every single book that's outthere on learning how to let go
and declutter and organize in away that works for me.
I am at the point where my lifefeels so incredibly chaotic and
I thought.
Oh, I'm gonna get to the pointwith this move that it's gonna
(01:51):
just feel normal.
It'll just feel like I'm incontrol of things.
It's a cute thought and also notvery realistic because we have
kids who have a lot of feelingsabout everything that's going
on.
We've got a lot of people thatwe wanna see as we're trying to
leave Colorado.
We had to buy a new car, whichwe did last week.
(02:12):
We're also purchasing a trailerso that we can.
Bring just a few items with us,and as furniture is leaving our
house, the places that we wouldnormally go to look for things,
because we trust ourselves toput things back where they go,
that's not the reality anylonger.
So not only are things leavingand we're changing things, but
(02:34):
we're creating chaos because weare not used to living where
things don't go back, where theygo.
Just this morning I was lookingfor the Q-tips and we had a
garage sale this weekend and Isold our Q-tip holder along with
the rest of the decor in thebathroom but I'm standing there
(02:55):
looking on the bathroom counterfor our Q-tip holder.
But it's not there anymorebecause I put the Q-Tips in a
traveling case right behind me,so it's not very far away.
I was standing there for about45 seconds when I realized.
What the hell am I looking for?
I was looking for I had thispicture in my mind of what I was
looking for, but wasn't activelyin my brain saying, oh, I need a
(03:17):
Q-tip.
Let me look for this.
I was looking for the containerthat it was in.
And this should show you thestate of things because I'm
crying a little bit right now atabout the Q-Tips.
And this leads me into thesecond thing is that while you
might start to get a handle onthings, if you are moving, you
are not gonna know where thingsare.
And that's part of just makingpeace with it I think looking
(03:39):
back on it, I could have donethings a little bit differently
and I'm doing a great job.
Ultimately when it comes to, wehave one room up front where,
which is all the things thatwe're bringing with us.
The garage is where we'reselling things and we're having
another garage sale nextweekend.
We have some things that westill have to go through and
we're still making decisions on.
(04:01):
I do have Doom piles everywhere.
Yep.
Professional organizer here, andI've got doom piles.
one of them is all the stuff weneed to do, some minor fix ups
before we leave.
Another is a pile of toys that,the girls haven't decided if
they wanna take or go yet, Ishare this because it reminds me
of when I first started.
(04:22):
When I first thought there wasabsolutely no hope for me that I
wouldn't be able to get anythingunder control, it just reminded
me how much trust I had to buildwith myself in order to start
creating homes for things.
And I started to create homesfor things by using the phrase,
(04:44):
where would I go to look forthis if I were trying to find
it?
Where would future me go to lookfor it if I were trying to find
it?
And that's worked for years,except that now that we're
moving the places that I wouldgo to look for things, to find
them aren't there anymore.
And the habits that I've createdfor myself, I'm having to break
(05:08):
because we are shaking thingsup.
We are really shaking things up.
I'd say number three.
I'll share the emotions.
And with a DHD, we feel emotionswith everything that we do.
There's so much emotion.
Sometimes it's immense joy orhappiness.
(05:28):
Sometimes it's immense sadness,there's a lot going into every
decision that we're making now.
Because it defines our future.
There's a lot of happiness.
Like we're excited, we're veryexcited about this next chapter
of our lives, but we're reallysad.
It's very sad to leave behindthe life that we've created here
(05:51):
and the friends that we've had.
And that we've met and thatwe've built relationships with.
The dogs are saying hi.
They're like, what are you doingin the closet, mom, thanks.
Thanks for the lick.
Okay guys, I'm recording apodcast.
Yeah.
Can I have a minute?
Can I have a minute?
Thanks for the love.
Okay.
Alright.
Go see Dad.
Go see Dad.
(06:12):
Go on.
On Friday night, we got a bunchof the neighbors together.
We all brought our campingchairs out to one of my friend's
houses.
All the kids came with theirbikes and they all rode around
the cul-de-sac until it was darkoutside.
We brought water balloons and meand the other moms filled them
up and we had all of the kidsstand out on the sidewalk until
(06:35):
I yelled Crocodile and as soonas I yelled they were able to
come up and get water balloonsas the adults were pegging them.
It's really pretty hilarious.
I'm sad to say goodbye to thatmoment, and I'm not saying
goodbye to that'cause that's amemory.
I'm sad to say goodbye to thisneighborhood.
And because I flex so much inthis space of what it's like to
(06:56):
say goodbye and knowing.
That it's just going to make mestronger and reminding myself
that I trust myself to make theright decisions, and my husband
and I trust each other to leadus in the right direction.
I'm okay with the sadness.
I'm okay with the letting go,and it's because I flex that
(07:16):
muzzle.
Now what I suggest start withmoving and selling everything.
No.
This is an evolutionary process,but the emotions are big ones.
What I'm remembering as we gothrough this is to feel them.
I was just mopping my kitchenfloor that no longer has a
kitchen table in it, and Istarted crying and I am allowed
(07:38):
to, so I'm gonna do it.
I think the fourth thing I'lltalk about here is my working
memory and how I always say onthe podcast when everything is
important, nothing is important,and the reason why I say that is
because when we're thinkingabout so many things.
About being the best mom about,having the best body or being in
(08:00):
the best shape, or, trying tosign up our kids for everything
or having a capsule wardrobe andredoing our floors or maybe
doing another project ordecluttering or wanting to do
this and that, and this andthat, and this and that.
When we're thinking about all ofthose things, none of them is
important because.
(08:22):
They're all important, but if wehave our brain in all of these
different compartments, itdoesn't allow anything to take
precedence or priority, and thishappens with A DHD, it's very
hard to set priorities becausewe get excited about so many
things we want to do so manythings.
We wanna say yes to all of theevents.
(08:44):
We want to do all the thingswith all the people.
But when we do that, we forgetto take care of ourselves and
the things that are the mostimportant without us truly
realizing it.
But knowing that about ourselvesgives us the opportunity to
think about it and notice itmore.
Which means that when we've donethe noticing, we start to say,
wow, how could I do thisdifferently?
(09:06):
How could I figure this out?
And just because we'reapproaching it from a different
perspective, because we knowwhat our brain does.
Doesn't mean that we always seeit in the moment.
Right now I am seeing thateverything feels like it's
important and as we're planningour trip back to the east coast,
I know that I am going to needto pack for the trip and figure
(09:27):
out which clothes we're gonnawear while we're traveling back
to the East coast.
Will we need stuff for thebeach?
Will we need stuff for hiking?
Things like that.
But that is not.
What's most important tomorrow?
I've got to break it down andsay, what are three things that
I could do tomorrow that's gonnaget us closer to being able to
(09:48):
leave this house on July 14th?
The working memory, the best wayI've heard it described it's as
if we have, four slots up herein our front brain where we're
doing most of our thinking andour decision making, but when
emotions come into play, thattakes up one of the slots.
And when you're running abusiness that's gonna take up
(10:09):
another slot, especially whenthere's so much going on there.
When you're trying to manageother people's emotions, things
could just keep getting bumpedand it's so much easier to
forget what could be the mostimportant thing.
Number five, and I'm gonna saythis for the people who might be
moving now, you found thispodcast, and you're like, oh,
I'm moving and I wanna selleverything.
(10:30):
This sounds like a great idea.
Here's what I will say aboutthat.
If you're a couple weeks awayfrom moving, a month away from
moving, two months away frommoving, if you have not been
working on decluttering yourhome for a very long time.
This is a very long process andas we're selling stuff, as we're
(10:52):
having garage sales, postingthings on Facebook marketplace,
it is another full-time job.
It is a lot of work.
It's a lot of time, it's a lotof exhaustion and if it's
something that you're trying forthe first time, it's gonna cause
some stress, actually, a lot ofstress.
I remember moving, I've movedacross the country.
I've moved from apartment toapartment, and when it gets down
(11:15):
to the wire like this, it's soeasy to just throw things in a
box and say, I'll deal with itwhen I get there.
And I'm not doing that this timeThe only reason why I'm not
doing that this time is becauseit's taken me years to get to
this point where I know whatfills up my life.
I've made very strategicdecisions, and I've stopped
(11:35):
myself from being able toimpulsively shop or impulsively
do this or that.
It doesn't mean that I don'tstill have those impulses.
I just now am able to thinkthings through a little bit so
if you're at the point whereyou'd really like to sell things
you don't wanna take as muchwith you, I truly encourage you
to take a ton to Goodwill.
(11:56):
Take a box to Goodwill everysingle day.
I say Goodwill because it'seasy.
They take everything and theyhave the best hours.
If you're used to goingsomewhere else, and you know
what?
Their limits and their rules areamazing, but there's a lot of
limits and rules for a lot ofthe places that you donate to
and that's another barrier toyou getting stuff out of your
(12:17):
house.
So if that's one of thebarriers, eliminate that barrier
by taking it to the easiestplace, the place that'll be
closest to you.
And just being realistic withyourself, being realistic about
what you're able to accomplish,what you're able to do as you're
going through such a stressfultime.
Because I don't know that thereis a way to truly slow down.
(12:41):
With that being said, number sixis reminding yourself that you
are in no rush.
I've talked just a little bitabout regulation on the podcast,
and I will continue to talkabout this as we go through the
summer and into this fall.
Regulation I have found is oneof the most important things to
(13:02):
recognize when you have a DHD.
We are in a constant fight orflight mode and we handle so
many of the situations we're infight, flight, freeze, or fawn
mode.
This includes but is not limitedto the way that you approach
your clutter.
It's when we're in ourprefrontal cortex, when we take
some deep breaths, we get backto that front brain to make
(13:24):
conscious decisions that we canmake decisions that support us a
little bit more.
So something I have beennoticing as we're exhausted, as
we're pushing ourselves, aswe're losing our minds, setting
things down and not knowingwhere they are, because we don't
have our normal surfacesanymore.
I've noticed more and more whenI'm tired.
(13:46):
For example, last Friday I wasexhausted and when I noticed
normally I would push through.
I would try to ignore it, whichworks.
I'm very good at ignoring whenmy body is telling me something,
but because I'm noticing howexhausted I am, I took myself
outside and sat in my favoriteegg chair and did the 5 4, 3, 2,
(14:10):
1 regulation method.
I just recorded a video For mycommunity on this, we have a
regulation station in thecommunity and it's just
different ideas on how to getyourself back to the front of
your brain so you can makeconscious decisions.
you noticed five things aroundyou look at them with your eyes,
you feel four things around you.
(14:31):
So feel them and you can evensay, oh, I feel this dress and
it feels soft.
Three things that you can hear.
Two things that you can smelland one thing that you can taste
and one thing that you'regrateful for.
Gratitude is so important in ourlives.
Just being grateful for thethings that we have around us.
You can always find somethingelse to be grateful for, even if
(14:52):
life feels like it's coming downaround you.
But as I sat there, I reallystarted to notice how much I
love my backyard.
And how calm I felt in thatmoment.
Just being peaceful with thebreeze and the way the trees
were moving.
Or even just noticing the dogsand them sitting.
And I love when they put theirface in the air and smell the
(15:13):
air.
It's very peaceful.
I wasn't out there for reallymore than five minutes, but
taking that rest was so amazing.
Just like we handle so manythings with this all or nothing
attitude.
Sometimes we feel like we needto do that when we're taking a
rest or giving ourselves somequote unquote self care.
(15:33):
But it only takes a minute orfive minutes or however much
time you can truly spare insteadof pushing through.
How could you take a moment foryourself?
And I've noticed that a lot morelately.
We actually planned massages fortoday.
My husband and I knew we weregonna need to get outta the
house after having so muchchaos.
So I had a massage first, and myhusband took the girls out to
(15:55):
eat and then they went puck puttgolfing.
Then my husband had a massagenext and I took the girls to a
park in downtown ColoradoSprings and they also played on
the splash pad.
And it was amazing.
But as we were driving home, wehad some other plans or some
other things that we wanted todo, and I noticed how tired I
was and I said, no we've gottago home.
(16:17):
I'm feeling exhausted right now,and if I don't take a rest, I'm
going to burn myself out.
And I just don't wanna do itanymore.
I don't want everything to takeprecedence because as I've said
so many times, again, our to-dolist is never gonna get any
shorter.
In fact, this house, there's somany things I'd like to do
(16:39):
before I leave, just to get itready for the new owners.
And guess what?
I'm not gonna be able to geteverything done.
And the to-do list is nevergoing to get any shorter.
But what I can do is I can getin front of it and I can take
time to pause.
I can practice taking time topause.
I can create a habit of takingtime to pause of disconnecting
(17:00):
from my phone of rememberingthat it's okay to be bored.
It's okay that I'm not in a rushand reminding myself that even
when I feel like I'm in a rushsometimes I'm just doing that to
myself.
So in the end, I just wannaremind you that a DHD doesn't go
away.
While it doesn't go away, thereare ways to manage A DHD in a
(17:22):
way that makes sense for you.
And part of that comes withawareness and comes with the
fact that we were never meant tobe this busy.
There's so much information,there's so much technology,
there's so much advancementhappening every single day.
We couldn't possibly keep upwith everything.
But that doesn't mean that's nota reason to start.
(17:43):
I am so excited.
so for the rest of the summer,I've got some really amazing
interviews coming up.
I'm gonna do one more soloepisode before we leave, and I
am no longer taking one-on-oneclients this summer.
If you're listening to thistoday on Monday, June 30th, this
is the last day to join theorganizing and a DHD Brain
(18:06):
community.
I really wanna take some time tonurture the people that are
there so that we can get to knoweach other, get to know what's
going on, and really figure outhow to get started so that we
can find the momentum tocontinue to understand that
we're not alone.
That you might be embarrassedabout the crap that you have
everywhere, but guess what?
(18:28):
So many other people are too.
And knowing that you're notalone is part of that ridiculous
battle.
Just knowing that, oh my gosh ifI feel shame and she feels
shame, we could feel shametogether, but we could also feel
empowered together to get onething done, to do the little
stuff and to feel celebratedbecause Megs has done it too.
And now she's on a totally otherside of things.
(18:50):
I've evolved.
I've been where you're at.
I know what it's like to feeloverwhelmed by your clutter, and
let me tell you, I know whatit's like again right now, in
this moment as our freaking lifeis getting turned upside down
and I don't feel like I'm incontrol of anything.
And that's why I created thecommunity because I wanted women
(19:11):
to know.
That just because you feel likeyour world is upside down and
you can't ever get unburied, ifyou will, from the stuff around
you.
I'm here as living proof to tellyou that you can, and there are
so many other women who are alsoin my community that will tell
you the same.
One of my favorite things waswhen one of my coaching clients
(19:33):
that I had been working withfor.
Oh gosh.
About six months came into thecommunity and we were having one
of our very first group coachingsessions, and she told me in our
session that week, she waslistening to the way someone
else was describing theirclutter and she realized how far
she had come.
It just gave her the perspectiveshe needed to realize how much
(19:56):
work she'd done to get where sheis now.
There was still so much she wasworking on and.
She saw and gave herself creditfor the fact that she had gotten
to where she is.
That's part of it.
We're all gonna be on differentlevels.
We're all gonna be at differentpoints, but I created this
community for you and for me sothat we could have each other
(20:19):
because it's about A DHD, butit's also about figuring out
what lights us up now, not thepast, not the future.
What lights us up in this momentand how can we truly uncover
that in our lives?
so that we can uncover thatstuff and it's not hidden by our
past or our future.
It's right out there in the openfor us to see.
(20:40):
So I invite you in organizing anA DHD brain community.
It's$37 a month or$33 a month ifyou purchase by the quarter.
And then you can do the math.
There's a yearly membership too.
So go check it out.
Regardless, thank you so muchfor being a part of this
podcast.
I'm honored that you're herelistening.
if this podcast has resonatedwith you at all, I would be
(21:02):
honored.
If you take a moment to go,leave me a review and tell me
what you've thought or even justsend me a message.
I hope you're having anincredible summer, and I will
see you next week.
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