April 21, 2025 • 22 mins
In this episode, we discuss neurodivergence, particularly ADHD & Autism, and how it affects daily life. The host shares experiences of learning to understand and organize a neurodivergent brain while emphasizing the importance of empathy, education, and community support. Through personal anecdotes, the host illustrates the challenges and triumphs of navigating life with ADHD, offering insights and strategies for embracing brain differences. With another perspective on 'Autism ruins families', the episode also covers the intersection of neurodivergence with parenting, societal stigma, and the value of diverse lived experiences. Listeners are encouraged to approach neurodivergence with curiosity and compassion, helping to foster understanding and reduce shame.
00:23 Understanding Neurodivergence
01:11 Executive Dysfunction and Perfectionism
02:25 Curiosity Over Shame
06:31 Parenting and Neurodivergence
14:39 Diversity and Neurodiversity
19:47 Conclusion and Community
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yeti Stereo Microphone & F (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
Happy Easter if you celebratedthis past weekend and happy
weekend.
If you just celebrated aweekend, because all are
important, as long as you'retaking time for yourself
Normally this week I would go inwith an interview because I have
a ton of them in the works thatI could release to you, and I've
got a couple more interviewscoming up this week that I'm
(00:21):
really excited about.
But I really wanted to talkabout being neurodivergent,
having a DHD, and what thattruly means because it's so much
more than just understandingyour brain and then being able
to organize, and then life is apeach, I often joke around about
going into the organizingbusiness and wanting to create
Pinterest perfect pantries andwanting to create spaces that
(00:42):
looked perfect.
I wanted to find the perfect binthat fit in the space so that
you would be able to figure outwhat to put in places, and then
life would just be so mucheasier.
But once I started to understandmy brain, by reading books, by
listening to people, byinterviewing people, by talking
to people about sharedexperiences, I realized it was
so much more than that.
(01:03):
And so when we think aboutneurodivergency, it's a brain
difference, our brains workdifferently than the
neurotypical brain, and that'sokay.
Case in point, we have executivedysfunction.
And so one thing that myself anda lot of my clients deal with is
this perfectionist mindset isthat we want everything to be
perfect.
(01:23):
Pinterest perfect pantries,right?
We want things to look sobeautiful.
We want things to appear sobeautiful, but oftentimes it's
gonna take more than a day toget there.
But we want instantgratification and we want
everything all at once ornothing at all.
Because when it comes toexecutive function, we have
trouble breaking up these bigprojects and these big dreams of
(01:45):
ours.
Into smaller tasks, andoftentimes those tasks are
mundane.
They're the things that we don'twant to do because we have an
interest-based nervous system.
We wanna go to the things thatinterest us the most, that bring
us a dopamine kick right away.
We're going to avoid the thingslike doing the dishes or let me
quickly plan out what this couldlook like.
(02:07):
We just wanna go with the flowand we wanna do things because
they genuinely interest us.
When that happens, we don'tattack the big things.
We simply just do the thingsthat we have to do.
It prevents us from being ableto get to that end result, to
what it looks like at the end.
By doing so much research onNeurodivergency and A DHD, it's
(02:29):
allowed me to understand mybrain so much better so that I
could help others understandthat you're not broken.
It's just about going aboutthings differently.
The more education we have aboutA DHD and autism, it allows us
to see things from a differentperspective instead of just
saying, gosh, I really wish thatI could finish that project or
(02:50):
even just start it.
And why am I so lazy?
Why can't I do it?
You can now look at it from theperspective of, oh, I'm not
great with executive function.
I wonder what it would be liketo break down this project into
small tasks.
And you're not gonna be good atit right away because that's not
the way that your brainoperates, but the more you
practice.
(03:11):
You could, I'm not saying thatyour executive dysfunction goes
away because it doesn't, you'renot healed from A DHD, but you
get to start approaching thingsfrom a different perspective,
out of curiosity instead of froma place of shame and guilt.
'cause I remember.
I would invite people over, Iwould spend hours trying to
clean things and throw things inplaces and hide things to
(03:34):
pretend that this is what myhouse looked like on a regular
basis.
By the time my friends wouldleave or my family would leave,
I would be so exhausted andthings would go right back to
the way they were because thingsdidn't have a place.
And I literally tried to just doit too fast.
There's nothing wrong with mebecause I did that.
It's just because I had no ideathat my brain was different.
(03:56):
I was trying to go about thingsfrom the way that I had learned
them growing up.
And that's another thing that wedon't talk about very often is,
is not only these neurodivergentbrains that we're dealing with,
but also the fact that likelyour parents had neurodivergent
brains too.
But a lot of them didn't knowhow to communicate with us how
to get things done in a way thatmade sense and that's because
(04:18):
their parents before them.
Didn't treat them like they hada say at all.
They just told them what to doand how to act, and they either
obliged or they didn't.
And so it's so interesting to bein this generation that we're in
today because we are learninghow to use our voice in a
different way.
We are learning how to parentour kids differently and the
(04:39):
more information that comes outabout A DHD and autism or any
sort of neurodivergency, itallows us to understand
ourselves from a perspectivewhere we can approach the world
in different ways, and we don'thave to just do it because
someone told us that this is howyou do it, and you either
succeed or fail, and then that'sit.
You get to try it from theperspective of what would make
(05:00):
sense for you and how it wouldwork for you.
This curiosity allows us toapproach a project from this
space of understanding that it'sokay to not be good at something
immediately, but alsounderstanding what could work
for your brain and what mightnot work for your brain.
That's what I love so much aboutso many neurodivergent creators
(05:21):
out there talking about thissubject because.
For example, organizing.
This is on my brain all the timeand my brain if I let it run
with a subject, it allows it tobuild these new neuro pathways
where I can find answers for somany different things.
I have been thinking aboutorganizing now for.
Over a year and a half since Istarted my business, I have been
(05:43):
approaching it from theperspective of how do we do it
so that it sticks, so that it'snot something that we have to
keep coming back to time andtime again.
That's gonna make it harder forus to live.
I.
But what Neurodivergent creatorsdo is also make it a reality
that it's okay.
That just because you know howto do something or know how your
(06:04):
brain works, doesn't mean thatit's gonna be easy, and it's
okay to still struggle gainingan understanding of what's gonna
work for you and how to eventake action.
But that curiosity is gonnareplace the shame and the guilt
that so many of us have felt ourentire lives.
And it's replaced with openness.
It's about what now, what nowcan I do to understand my life a
(06:27):
little bit better?
And from a place ofunderstanding instead of from a
place of shame and guilt.
I wanted to do this episodetoday because I have talked
about my daughter possiblyhaving autism on this channel
quite a few times and I'm openabout it.
There's information going aroundright now about how autism ruins
families.
What an interesting way to putan entire group of people in one
(06:51):
category.
This is important to talk aboutwhen it comes to organizing or
anything because autism onlyruins families.
If it's your perspective thatthat is the truth, if you've
decided to own that as yourbelief, then you will look for
all of the evidence presented toyou that sustains that belief.
(07:14):
And so if you see a momstruggling with an autistic
nonverbal.
Son or daughter, but you don'tnecessarily know their lived
experience, you're gonna say,wow, that's awful.
It's probably ruined theirfamily because you see how hard
it could be to live with a sonor daughter who's nonverbal and
could need a lot more help asidefrom that, but autism doesn't
(07:37):
ruin families.
It's a misunderstanding of aneurodivergency that ruins
families.
It's the lack of support thatruins families.
It is stigma that creates stressand harm that ruins families.
And this comes with a DHD too.
I was just in a communitydecluttering last week, and
(07:58):
there was a young man who wastalking about whether or not he
discloses that he has a DHD ashe's.
Going to apply for new jobs, andthat's ultimately up to you.
You get to decide what youdisclose to a new employer or
whatever, but they're going tohave their own perception on it
based on what they were told.
And if they believe somethingnegatively about what neuro
(08:20):
divergent means, then no matterwho you are, how you show up,
they're going to look for theevidence that sustains their
beliefs until one day you provethem wrong because you're
absolutely incredible.
But my advice for that personwas, you know, Hey, I come from
the corporate world.
I've seen it done.
I've seen people announce theirA DHD, and I've also talked to a
(08:40):
lot of professionals where theystart to talk about, instead of
announcing that you have a DHD,what if you talked about what
your accommodations and needsare as a human being.
What if you went into theworkplace and simply said, Hey,
I need noise cancelingheadphones and that's going to
help me work best.
Is that something that you canaccommodate for me?
And in some cases in thecorporate world, you'll have to
(09:00):
go through a channel to be ableto be provided that additional
assistance.
But that's something that youdon't necessarily have to
disclose to your direct leader.
But that's why the education ofthis is so incredibly important.
It's so important that we'retalking about this because it
creates empathy and compassion.
It creates a space where we getto talk about the things and the
(09:22):
struggles that we're goingthrough to start to come up with
some solutions for it.
Now, it doesn't mean that youalways need a solution for every
struggle you're having.
Sometimes you just need tostruggle and just to work
through it, and that's okay.
Right?
Sometimes even myself, as I'mcontinuing to organize my home
and declutter and let go, I dostill struggle.
(09:43):
There are some days where I evenlook at myself and I'm like.
Who am I to go and talk aboutorganizing because I'm still
struggling, right?
But that's the lived humanexperience.
We're not made to not struggle.
We're made to struggle throughand then share the experiences
of how we've come out on theother side.
And so I'm here to tell you thatI have failed a ton of times,
(10:04):
but I've failed enough to saythat my mistakes have taught me
who I am and how I can show uptoday so that I can teach you
and I can help you understandyour own lived experience to
find the solutions that makesense for you.
So coming back to my 6-year-old,I've suspected that she's on the
spectrum.
She doesn't like cracks in herclothes.
She's very specific about herclothes, we buy her leggings.
(10:25):
But if the leggings don't fit aspecific way and even the seam
goes a specific way, then theywill not work.
We have to donate them.
She will not touch them again.
And then if her pants flare out,or if they're tight on her
ankle, she has to have specificshoes.
She's very specific about thetype of socks that she wears.
She is very specific about whather wants and needs are, and she
(10:48):
knows when something feels goodand she knows when something
does not feel good.
In the autism community and ADHD in general, we talk a lot
about tantrums.
That's something that's happeneda lot.
I suspect she's on a spectrum,but in order for us to get a
diagnosis, it's$2,000.
So if she is autistic, then I'mreally proud of her resilience
(11:09):
and uniqueness.
And also over the last month anda half, she's probably watched
the sound of music, I think 25times.
I'm not over exaggerating.
She can recite every singlesong.
That girl probably knows thatmovie better than I do, and it
is my favorite movie.
Growing up, I used to watch itwith my mom.
(11:29):
Those things indicate to me thatshe is on a spectrum of sorts,
and so if she isn't, say sheisn't on the autism spectrum
whatsoever.
Learning about autism throughneurodivergent parenting groups
have helped me feel seen in away that I've never felt seen as
(11:50):
a parent before.
It helped me understand thatthese lived experiences that I
have with my own daughters.
Are not unique to me.
They've helped me understandthat there's different ways of
going about it than simply justputting a child in time out or
telling them that they need tosuppress their feelings when
they're having a temper tantrumwhen they don't know what to do
(12:12):
with them.
but by understanding some ofthese unique needs of my
daughters, I've been able toshow up as a parent in a
completely different way.
Then I ever knew, We are doingthis incredible service to our
kids by learning a little bitmore about it now, and this
directly relates to organizingbecause we were never taught.
(12:34):
If you are in a space right nowwhere your clutter is all over
the place and you don't knowwhere to put things, it's
because you were never taught.
It's not because your brain isbroken, it's because you were
never taught how, in a way thatmakes sense for your brain.
And so when it comes to handlingmy kids and their
neurodivergence, I think it'sfascinating because I first
(12:55):
started to learn more about mykids and how to parent a little
bit differently through Mindfulas a mother.
I found them on TikTok.
They've been on the podcast, andI'm also in their membership
group because.
I learned so much about how toparent in a different way, and
it allows me to come up withdifferent ways to parent them
too.
So again, as far as thediagnosis goes, I'm not putting
(13:16):
a label on my kids except that Iam.
And what it's done for me isit's allowed me to show up as a
completely different human beingbecause I've learned so much
more about what their needs areand honestly about what my own
darn needs are.
The nervous system and how wereact to certain things,
especially clutter and our ownorganizing methods is another
thing I'll talk about in anepisode soon.
(13:37):
It's definitely something that Iwanna highlight and I wanna give
you some of the tools that Ilike to use with my own clients
and some of the things that I'mdeveloping, but.
Understanding your own emotionalstates and your own habits when
it comes to the things that youdo is gonna be one of the keys
to changing your life andunderstanding your life in a new
(14:00):
way, and being neurodivergent ina neurotypical designed world
can feel challenging, butunderstanding our nervous system
creates pathway to harmony, andinstead of being in that
constant struggle, you becomeaware because while your brain
naturally wants you to docertain things, and there are
certain things that you arenaturally going to do because
(14:21):
your brain is different, we'vealso learned so much about why
our brain does the things thatwe do, that we get to understand
it in a completely differentway.
Which is why there's a DHDcoaches out there and people
trying to help you understandthings from a perspective where
you can take control of yourlife.
When we think about diversity inthis world, we often think about
(14:43):
people who are black and white,right?
Different races.
But when I think about diversityand how I've grown up learning
about diversity, not only inschool but in the corporate
world, and then in the worldthat I'm living in, people are
listening to this podcast allover the world.
You and I have completelydifferent lived experiences,
whether you're living in Texas,Massachusetts, Canada, France,
(15:07):
South Africa, we all havedifferences of thought and of
upbringing.
That's diversity.
We also have difference of skincolor diversity, right?
But because we have differencesof skin color, it means that we
were brought up and we havedifferent lived experiences from
the way that we were brought updifferently.
(15:28):
But it's also diversity ofculture and the way that we
learned how to perceive certainthings.
It's diversity of beliefs andthe way that we grew up learning
about these beliefs, and nowwe're looking for the evidence
to sustain these beliefs.
And then it's diversity of theway that our brain works.
And neurodiversity comes in manydifferent forms.
(15:48):
It's a DHD, it's autism, it'sdyslexia, and beyond.
The way that our brains work isfascinating.
And when my therapist finallysaid that my brain doesn't work
like everyone else's, I was inshock and awe.
I just thought that everyonecould do it so much better than
I could.
But it was when I started tounderstand my brain that I was
able to take it so much furtherbecause I understood I wasn't
(16:12):
broken, I was different.
And I had to learn about how todo things a little bit
differently and what a blessingthat was.
So because we're different andbecause we are having these
conversations, because we'relearning about one another, we
get to show up so much better inthis world.
There's value in our livedexperiences.
(16:34):
And sharing these experiencesfosters empathy.
I.
It reduces stigma and judgment,and we get to build compassion
by sharing these diverseexperiences, and each and every
one of us is diverse and uniquein our own ways.
This all comes back to the day Ifinally understood that buying
the perfect bin was never goingto solve my organizing needs,
(16:57):
that creating a Pinterestperfect pantry or having my
fridge perfectly organized wasnot going to solve all of my
problems.
It wasn't going to be the answerto what my A DHD brain needed.
But that's why I continued tobecome an organizer, and that's
why I created this podcast, andthat's why I'm on a mission to
help you understand that justbecause you're different doesn't
(17:19):
mean you're not broken.
It just means that we all need alittle bit more education and
think about the incrediblethings that we're gonna continue
to learn is just because I knowa lot now and I'm sharing it
with you, and just because youknow a lot now and you're
sharing it with others, doesn'tmean that we're not gonna grow
and we're gonna learn.
Over this next year, we aregoing to learn so much together,
(17:40):
and it's gonna take us from thislevel to this level because
that's the way that informationis being delivered to us in this
world.
It is so rapid, so fast paced.
So if we know something one day,we're gonna know something
totally different the next day.
Something I'm really proud ofover the last year and a half is
I've been able to embrace myselfin a way that I've never
(18:02):
embraced myself before.
Some know it as masking, right?
We act a certain way in front ofa group of people because we
know it's gonna make them happy.
But what about us?
I know using my voice makes meincredibly happy, and I'm so
proud to come to you and sharewith you what I feel on a
regular basis and how things canchange in your life if you start
(18:22):
to believe in yourself a littlebit more and understand that
you're not coming from a placeof laziness and ditching the
shame.
I am always striving to, tolearn about my A DHD brain more
because it allows others to dothe same.
And I'm gonna be honest, I'vethought about getting an autism
diagnosis.
I've thought about looking intothat, but it's so expensive.
(18:44):
As I've learned to understandmyself, I've learned to
understand my brain so muchmore, and if I can do it, so can
you not because it's easy.
Because knowing yourself deeplymakes change possible.
It allows you to say, okay,instead of making other people
happy, what is it that I want?
(19:05):
What is it that would make mylife easier?
If you're navigating your ownneurodivergency and you don't
necessarily know how tocommunicate it with others, send
them this podcast.
Maybe it could help them opentheir eyes a little bit more,
but I would encourage you tothen also approach your loved
ones neurodivergency withopenness, curiosity, and
(19:26):
compassion, because there's somuch that we can learn from our
kids and from other people inour families who are open to
learning more as well.
If this resonated with you atall, It would mean the world to
me if you wanted to reach outand share your own story or if
you had any questions about liveto share this episode today.
On that note, I hope you have anincredible week.
(19:47):
I am working right now ontransitioning my membership,
which is the organizing and aDHD brain membership over to a
platform called Circle.
It looks to be so much more ADHD friendly based on the
research I've done, and my goodfriend Russ from the A DHD, big
Brother hosts his platformthere, and I really, really like
it.
May 1st will be your chance tojoin the membership again, get
(20:09):
some group coaching, meet otherpeople who are also trying to
get decluttered and understandtheir darn brains in a way that
works for them, but also havetime to body double and have
time to get to a declutteringsession with a group of people
who are also making the decisionto get decluttered and we'll do
it together.
There's so much power incommunity when it comes to being
neurodiverse because you get tounderstand that you're not alone
(20:32):
in this.
And when I first started tounderstand that it made a world
of a difference If you areinterested in coaching, I have
some really cool newopportunities coming up on May
1st as well.
Right now my program is 90 days,but I also know that doesn't
work for everyone in theirbudget, and so I've created some
smaller programs to be able towork with me.
(20:54):
So that way if you can't committo the 90 days, I'm here for you
and I've got some support thatcould fit you exactly where you
are.
Thanks for tuning in.
I'll see you next week.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
Happy Easter if you celebratedthis past weekend and happy
weekend.
If you just celebrated aweekend, because all are
important, as long as you'retaking time for yourself
Normally this week I would go inwith an interview because I have
a ton of them in the works thatI could release to you, and I've
got a couple more interviewscoming up this week that I'm
(00:21):
really excited about.
But I really wanted to talkabout being neurodivergent,
having a DHD, and what thattruly means because it's so much
more than just understandingyour brain and then being able
to organize, and then life is apeach, I often joke around about
going into the organizingbusiness and wanting to create
Pinterest perfect pantries andwanting to create spaces that
(00:42):
looked perfect.
I wanted to find the perfect binthat fit in the space so that
you would be able to figure outwhat to put in places, and then
life would just be so mucheasier.
But once I started to understandmy brain, by reading books, by
listening to people, byinterviewing people, by talking
to people about sharedexperiences, I realized it was
so much more than that.
(01:03):
And so when we think aboutneurodivergency, it's a brain
difference, our brains workdifferently than the
neurotypical brain, and that'sokay.
Case in point, we have executivedysfunction.
And so one thing that myself anda lot of my clients deal with is
this perfectionist mindset isthat we want everything to be
perfect.
(01:23):
Pinterest perfect pantries,right?
We want things to look sobeautiful.
We want things to appear sobeautiful, but oftentimes it's
gonna take more than a day toget there.
But we want instantgratification and we want
everything all at once ornothing at all.
Because when it comes toexecutive function, we have
trouble breaking up these bigprojects and these big dreams of
(01:45):
ours.
Into smaller tasks, andoftentimes those tasks are
mundane.
They're the things that we don'twant to do because we have an
interest-based nervous system.
We wanna go to the things thatinterest us the most, that bring
us a dopamine kick right away.
We're going to avoid the thingslike doing the dishes or let me
quickly plan out what this couldlook like.
(02:07):
We just wanna go with the flowand we wanna do things because
they genuinely interest us.
When that happens, we don'tattack the big things.
We simply just do the thingsthat we have to do.
It prevents us from being ableto get to that end result, to
what it looks like at the end.
By doing so much research onNeurodivergency and A DHD, it's
(02:29):
allowed me to understand mybrain so much better so that I
could help others understandthat you're not broken.
It's just about going aboutthings differently.
The more education we have aboutA DHD and autism, it allows us
to see things from a differentperspective instead of just
saying, gosh, I really wish thatI could finish that project or
(02:50):
even just start it.
And why am I so lazy?
Why can't I do it?
You can now look at it from theperspective of, oh, I'm not
great with executive function.
I wonder what it would be liketo break down this project into
small tasks.
And you're not gonna be good atit right away because that's not
the way that your brainoperates, but the more you
practice.
(03:11):
You could, I'm not saying thatyour executive dysfunction goes
away because it doesn't, you'renot healed from A DHD, but you
get to start approaching thingsfrom a different perspective,
out of curiosity instead of froma place of shame and guilt.
'cause I remember.
I would invite people over, Iwould spend hours trying to
clean things and throw things inplaces and hide things to
(03:34):
pretend that this is what myhouse looked like on a regular
basis.
By the time my friends wouldleave or my family would leave,
I would be so exhausted andthings would go right back to
the way they were because thingsdidn't have a place.
And I literally tried to just doit too fast.
There's nothing wrong with mebecause I did that.
It's just because I had no ideathat my brain was different.
(03:56):
I was trying to go about thingsfrom the way that I had learned
them growing up.
And that's another thing that wedon't talk about very often is,
is not only these neurodivergentbrains that we're dealing with,
but also the fact that likelyour parents had neurodivergent
brains too.
But a lot of them didn't knowhow to communicate with us how
to get things done in a way thatmade sense and that's because
(04:18):
their parents before them.
Didn't treat them like they hada say at all.
They just told them what to doand how to act, and they either
obliged or they didn't.
And so it's so interesting to bein this generation that we're in
today because we are learninghow to use our voice in a
different way.
We are learning how to parentour kids differently and the
(04:39):
more information that comes outabout A DHD and autism or any
sort of neurodivergency, itallows us to understand
ourselves from a perspectivewhere we can approach the world
in different ways, and we don'thave to just do it because
someone told us that this is howyou do it, and you either
succeed or fail, and then that'sit.
You get to try it from theperspective of what would make
(05:00):
sense for you and how it wouldwork for you.
This curiosity allows us toapproach a project from this
space of understanding that it'sokay to not be good at something
immediately, but alsounderstanding what could work
for your brain and what mightnot work for your brain.
That's what I love so much aboutso many neurodivergent creators
(05:21):
out there talking about thissubject because.
For example, organizing.
This is on my brain all the timeand my brain if I let it run
with a subject, it allows it tobuild these new neuro pathways
where I can find answers for somany different things.
I have been thinking aboutorganizing now for.
Over a year and a half since Istarted my business, I have been
(05:43):
approaching it from theperspective of how do we do it
so that it sticks, so that it'snot something that we have to
keep coming back to time andtime again.
That's gonna make it harder forus to live.
I.
But what Neurodivergent creatorsdo is also make it a reality
that it's okay.
That just because you know howto do something or know how your
(06:04):
brain works, doesn't mean thatit's gonna be easy, and it's
okay to still struggle gainingan understanding of what's gonna
work for you and how to eventake action.
But that curiosity is gonnareplace the shame and the guilt
that so many of us have felt ourentire lives.
And it's replaced with openness.
It's about what now, what nowcan I do to understand my life a
(06:27):
little bit better?
And from a place ofunderstanding instead of from a
place of shame and guilt.
I wanted to do this episodetoday because I have talked
about my daughter possiblyhaving autism on this channel
quite a few times and I'm openabout it.
There's information going aroundright now about how autism ruins
families.
What an interesting way to putan entire group of people in one
(06:51):
category.
This is important to talk aboutwhen it comes to organizing or
anything because autism onlyruins families.
If it's your perspective thatthat is the truth, if you've
decided to own that as yourbelief, then you will look for
all of the evidence presented toyou that sustains that belief.
(07:14):
And so if you see a momstruggling with an autistic
nonverbal.
Son or daughter, but you don'tnecessarily know their lived
experience, you're gonna say,wow, that's awful.
It's probably ruined theirfamily because you see how hard
it could be to live with a sonor daughter who's nonverbal and
could need a lot more help asidefrom that, but autism doesn't
(07:37):
ruin families.
It's a misunderstanding of aneurodivergency that ruins
families.
It's the lack of support thatruins families.
It is stigma that creates stressand harm that ruins families.
And this comes with a DHD too.
I was just in a communitydecluttering last week, and
(07:58):
there was a young man who wastalking about whether or not he
discloses that he has a DHD ashe's.
Going to apply for new jobs, andthat's ultimately up to you.
You get to decide what youdisclose to a new employer or
whatever, but they're going tohave their own perception on it
based on what they were told.
And if they believe somethingnegatively about what neuro
(08:20):
divergent means, then no matterwho you are, how you show up,
they're going to look for theevidence that sustains their
beliefs until one day you provethem wrong because you're
absolutely incredible.
But my advice for that personwas, you know, Hey, I come from
the corporate world.
I've seen it done.
I've seen people announce theirA DHD, and I've also talked to a
(08:40):
lot of professionals where theystart to talk about, instead of
announcing that you have a DHD,what if you talked about what
your accommodations and needsare as a human being.
What if you went into theworkplace and simply said, Hey,
I need noise cancelingheadphones and that's going to
help me work best.
Is that something that you canaccommodate for me?
And in some cases in thecorporate world, you'll have to
(09:00):
go through a channel to be ableto be provided that additional
assistance.
But that's something that youdon't necessarily have to
disclose to your direct leader.
But that's why the education ofthis is so incredibly important.
It's so important that we'retalking about this because it
creates empathy and compassion.
It creates a space where we getto talk about the things and the
(09:22):
struggles that we're goingthrough to start to come up with
some solutions for it.
Now, it doesn't mean that youalways need a solution for every
struggle you're having.
Sometimes you just need tostruggle and just to work
through it, and that's okay.
Right?
Sometimes even myself, as I'mcontinuing to organize my home
and declutter and let go, I dostill struggle.
(09:43):
There are some days where I evenlook at myself and I'm like.
Who am I to go and talk aboutorganizing because I'm still
struggling, right?
But that's the lived humanexperience.
We're not made to not struggle.
We're made to struggle throughand then share the experiences
of how we've come out on theother side.
And so I'm here to tell you thatI have failed a ton of times,
(10:04):
but I've failed enough to saythat my mistakes have taught me
who I am and how I can show uptoday so that I can teach you
and I can help you understandyour own lived experience to
find the solutions that makesense for you.
So coming back to my 6-year-old,I've suspected that she's on the
spectrum.
She doesn't like cracks in herclothes.
She's very specific about herclothes, we buy her leggings.
(10:25):
But if the leggings don't fit aspecific way and even the seam
goes a specific way, then theywill not work.
We have to donate them.
She will not touch them again.
And then if her pants flare out,or if they're tight on her
ankle, she has to have specificshoes.
She's very specific about thetype of socks that she wears.
She is very specific about whather wants and needs are, and she
(10:48):
knows when something feels goodand she knows when something
does not feel good.
In the autism community and ADHD in general, we talk a lot
about tantrums.
That's something that's happeneda lot.
I suspect she's on a spectrum,but in order for us to get a
diagnosis, it's$2,000.
So if she is autistic, then I'mreally proud of her resilience
(11:09):
and uniqueness.
And also over the last month anda half, she's probably watched
the sound of music, I think 25times.
I'm not over exaggerating.
She can recite every singlesong.
That girl probably knows thatmovie better than I do, and it
is my favorite movie.
Growing up, I used to watch itwith my mom.
(11:29):
Those things indicate to me thatshe is on a spectrum of sorts,
and so if she isn't, say sheisn't on the autism spectrum
whatsoever.
Learning about autism throughneurodivergent parenting groups
have helped me feel seen in away that I've never felt seen as
(11:50):
a parent before.
It helped me understand thatthese lived experiences that I
have with my own daughters.
Are not unique to me.
They've helped me understandthat there's different ways of
going about it than simply justputting a child in time out or
telling them that they need tosuppress their feelings when
they're having a temper tantrumwhen they don't know what to do
(12:12):
with them.
but by understanding some ofthese unique needs of my
daughters, I've been able toshow up as a parent in a
completely different way.
Then I ever knew, We are doingthis incredible service to our
kids by learning a little bitmore about it now, and this
directly relates to organizingbecause we were never taught.
(12:34):
If you are in a space right nowwhere your clutter is all over
the place and you don't knowwhere to put things, it's
because you were never taught.
It's not because your brain isbroken, it's because you were
never taught how, in a way thatmakes sense for your brain.
And so when it comes to handlingmy kids and their
neurodivergence, I think it'sfascinating because I first
(12:55):
started to learn more about mykids and how to parent a little
bit differently through Mindfulas a mother.
I found them on TikTok.
They've been on the podcast, andI'm also in their membership
group because.
I learned so much about how toparent in a different way, and
it allows me to come up withdifferent ways to parent them
too.
So again, as far as thediagnosis goes, I'm not putting
(13:16):
a label on my kids except that Iam.
And what it's done for me isit's allowed me to show up as a
completely different human beingbecause I've learned so much
more about what their needs areand honestly about what my own
darn needs are.
The nervous system and how wereact to certain things,
especially clutter and our ownorganizing methods is another
thing I'll talk about in anepisode soon.
(13:37):
It's definitely something that Iwanna highlight and I wanna give
you some of the tools that Ilike to use with my own clients
and some of the things that I'mdeveloping, but.
Understanding your own emotionalstates and your own habits when
it comes to the things that youdo is gonna be one of the keys
to changing your life andunderstanding your life in a new
(14:00):
way, and being neurodivergent ina neurotypical designed world
can feel challenging, butunderstanding our nervous system
creates pathway to harmony, andinstead of being in that
constant struggle, you becomeaware because while your brain
naturally wants you to docertain things, and there are
certain things that you arenaturally going to do because
(14:21):
your brain is different, we'vealso learned so much about why
our brain does the things thatwe do, that we get to understand
it in a completely differentway.
Which is why there's a DHDcoaches out there and people
trying to help you understandthings from a perspective where
you can take control of yourlife.
When we think about diversity inthis world, we often think about
(14:43):
people who are black and white,right?
Different races.
But when I think about diversityand how I've grown up learning
about diversity, not only inschool but in the corporate
world, and then in the worldthat I'm living in, people are
listening to this podcast allover the world.
You and I have completelydifferent lived experiences,
whether you're living in Texas,Massachusetts, Canada, France,
(15:07):
South Africa, we all havedifferences of thought and of
upbringing.
That's diversity.
We also have difference of skincolor diversity, right?
But because we have differencesof skin color, it means that we
were brought up and we havedifferent lived experiences from
the way that we were brought updifferently.
(15:28):
But it's also diversity ofculture and the way that we
learned how to perceive certainthings.
It's diversity of beliefs andthe way that we grew up learning
about these beliefs, and nowwe're looking for the evidence
to sustain these beliefs.
And then it's diversity of theway that our brain works.
And neurodiversity comes in manydifferent forms.
(15:48):
It's a DHD, it's autism, it'sdyslexia, and beyond.
The way that our brains work isfascinating.
And when my therapist finallysaid that my brain doesn't work
like everyone else's, I was inshock and awe.
I just thought that everyonecould do it so much better than
I could.
But it was when I started tounderstand my brain that I was
able to take it so much furtherbecause I understood I wasn't
(16:12):
broken, I was different.
And I had to learn about how todo things a little bit
differently and what a blessingthat was.
So because we're different andbecause we are having these
conversations, because we'relearning about one another, we
get to show up so much better inthis world.
There's value in our livedexperiences.
(16:34):
And sharing these experiencesfosters empathy.
I.
It reduces stigma and judgment,and we get to build compassion
by sharing these diverseexperiences, and each and every
one of us is diverse and uniquein our own ways.
This all comes back to the day Ifinally understood that buying
the perfect bin was never goingto solve my organizing needs,
(16:57):
that creating a Pinterestperfect pantry or having my
fridge perfectly organized wasnot going to solve all of my
problems.
It wasn't going to be the answerto what my A DHD brain needed.
But that's why I continued tobecome an organizer, and that's
why I created this podcast, andthat's why I'm on a mission to
help you understand that justbecause you're different doesn't
(17:19):
mean you're not broken.
It just means that we all need alittle bit more education and
think about the incrediblethings that we're gonna continue
to learn is just because I knowa lot now and I'm sharing it
with you, and just because youknow a lot now and you're
sharing it with others, doesn'tmean that we're not gonna grow
and we're gonna learn.
Over this next year, we aregoing to learn so much together,
(17:40):
and it's gonna take us from thislevel to this level because
that's the way that informationis being delivered to us in this
world.
It is so rapid, so fast paced.
So if we know something one day,we're gonna know something
totally different the next day.
Something I'm really proud ofover the last year and a half is
I've been able to embrace myselfin a way that I've never
(18:02):
embraced myself before.
Some know it as masking, right?
We act a certain way in front ofa group of people because we
know it's gonna make them happy.
But what about us?
I know using my voice makes meincredibly happy, and I'm so
proud to come to you and sharewith you what I feel on a
regular basis and how things canchange in your life if you start
(18:22):
to believe in yourself a littlebit more and understand that
you're not coming from a placeof laziness and ditching the
shame.
I am always striving to, tolearn about my A DHD brain more
because it allows others to dothe same.
And I'm gonna be honest, I'vethought about getting an autism
diagnosis.
I've thought about looking intothat, but it's so expensive.
(18:44):
As I've learned to understandmyself, I've learned to
understand my brain so muchmore, and if I can do it, so can
you not because it's easy.
Because knowing yourself deeplymakes change possible.
It allows you to say, okay,instead of making other people
happy, what is it that I want?
(19:05):
What is it that would make mylife easier?
If you're navigating your ownneurodivergency and you don't
necessarily know how tocommunicate it with others, send
them this podcast.
Maybe it could help them opentheir eyes a little bit more,
but I would encourage you tothen also approach your loved
ones neurodivergency withopenness, curiosity, and
(19:26):
compassion, because there's somuch that we can learn from our
kids and from other people inour families who are open to
learning more as well.
If this resonated with you atall, It would mean the world to
me if you wanted to reach outand share your own story or if
you had any questions about liveto share this episode today.
On that note, I hope you have anincredible week.
(19:47):
I am working right now ontransitioning my membership,
which is the organizing and aDHD brain membership over to a
platform called Circle.
It looks to be so much more ADHD friendly based on the
research I've done, and my goodfriend Russ from the A DHD, big
Brother hosts his platformthere, and I really, really like
it.
May 1st will be your chance tojoin the membership again, get
(20:09):
some group coaching, meet otherpeople who are also trying to
get decluttered and understandtheir darn brains in a way that
works for them, but also havetime to body double and have
time to get to a declutteringsession with a group of people
who are also making the decisionto get decluttered and we'll do
it together.
There's so much power incommunity when it comes to being
neurodiverse because you get tounderstand that you're not alone
(20:32):
in this.
And when I first started tounderstand that it made a world
of a difference If you areinterested in coaching, I have
some really cool newopportunities coming up on May
1st as well.
Right now my program is 90 days,but I also know that doesn't
work for everyone in theirbudget, and so I've created some
smaller programs to be able towork with me.
(20:54):
So that way if you can't committo the 90 days, I'm here for you
and I've got some support thatcould fit you exactly where you
are.
Thanks for tuning in.
I'll see you next week.
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