June 9, 2025 • 34 mins
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In this episode of Organizing an ADHD Brain, Megs takes it back to where it all began—recording from the closet. She opens up about what it’s really like to live with ADHD, breaking down common misconceptions and sharing the very real challenges so many of us face.
From executive function struggles to time blindness, impulsivity, and big emotional waves, Megs dives into personal stories and practical strategies to manage clutter and create systems that actually work for your brain.
This episode is a heartfelt reminder of the power of self-advocacy—and the importance of speaking up and sharing your story so the people in your life can better understand you.
Plus, Megs shares what’s coming next for the podcast, including exciting guest interviews you won’t want to miss!
00:49 Understanding ADHD: A Personal Perspective
02:09 Key ADHD Traits and Challenges
04:03 Balancing Interests and Responsibilities
06:12 The Struggle with Organizing
08:48 People Pleasing and Self-Discovery
12:28 The Loud ADHD Brain
20:06 Fight or Flight: ADHD and Perfectionism
28:41 Community and Support
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Megs (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
I am coming to you from mycloset, and if you've been here
since the very beginning, youknow that when I first started
recording my podcast, I wasrecording in my closet.
Part of it is because the soundis soaked up by all of the
(00:20):
clothes, And another reason isbecause the room that I normally
record the podcast in, all thestuff has been sold.
And I still have a desk inthere.
But it is so echoy, even withall the soundproof tiles.
And it feels so weird.
It's just weird.
Things are changing and I feellike my nervous system is a
little out of whack.
Some days I ask myself, what thehell am I doing?
(00:43):
And then other days, I know thatwe're on this new adventure for
a reason and that there'ssomething calling us back east.
this week I wanted to recordthis podcast because I have a
lot of clients who have peoplein their life that don't
understand what A DHD is.
So I'm going to attempt to.
Talk to you about what's goingon inside my brain, but then
(01:05):
also share some experiences thatI've heard from other people so
that people who are quoteunquote neurotypical might start
to understand what it's like totruly have a DHD and how we're
not trying to make your lifemore difficult by having a DHD,
but this is just our livedexperience.
(01:26):
This episode is dedicated to thewoman whose husband didn't even
believe that A DHD was realuntil their son got diagnosed
and started to understand hislived experience.
This episode is dedicated to anyof you who have been called
lazy, but can't understand howto take that laziness out of
(01:47):
your life.
It is dedicated to the peoplewho have felt misunderstood most
of their lives, but also feellike they can conquer the world
in some aspects of their life.
It's dedicated to all of you,really.
And I hope this is exactly whatyou need to hear, and I hope
that this brings some clarity tothe people in your life if you
can send this to them to helpthem understand truly what
(02:08):
you're going through.
The things that I'll talk to youabout during this episode are
executive function.
And when I talk about executivefunction, that is the ability to
break larger tasks into smallertasks, like truly break it down
into step-by-step instructionsthat we can understand.
I'm gonna talk about timeblindness and not truly having a
(02:29):
concept behind the time thatwe're spending on something, or
the time that something needs tohappen.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout impulsivity and the fact
that that is a real common thingthat comes along with having a
DHD and it's part of our fightor flight response when we are
trying to deal with life ingeneral or something that
(02:51):
triggers us.
And I'll also talk to you alittle bit about emotions.
We feel.
Emotions really, really big.
Oftentimes a lot bigger thanneurotypical people, which is
why, sometimes we can havebigger emotional outbursts, and
that could be on both ends ofthe spectrum.
It could be with anger, but itcan also be with happiness.
sometimes, people with A DHD aresome of the most fun people to
(03:14):
be around.
it's hard to separate organizingout of all of the other A DHD
stuff.
So I will talk about it today,but I'm also gonna talk about
the other stuff that comes alongbecause all of it's important.
I really can't separate me fromthe A DHD.
So there are some things thatyou'll hear that you may not
experience, and there are somethings that you won't hear
(03:36):
because I just haven't said themyet.
I am gonna do a follow-upepisode where I'll talk a little
bit more about your experiences.
So after you're done today,Please send me an email info at
organizing an adhd brain.com.
Send me your story.
Tell me what you would like yourneurotypical friends and
families to understand about youso I can share it on a future
(04:00):
podcast episode.
Let's go ahead and just jumpright in.
I get excited about a lot ofthings We have an interest based
nervous system, and what thatmeans is that.
Doing mundane tasks like washingthe dishes or throwing away
trash brings us no excitementwhatsoever.
Even when we complete it, whichis why oftentimes we're gonna
(04:22):
avoid doing the things that weknow we need to do to do the
things that we really want todo.
And that's why you'll findpeople with A DHD may be
painting a mural in the livingroom instead of washing the
dishes that have been there forsix days.
Very real thing that could behappening.
But I get excited about a lot ofthings.
And what I mean by that is I getexcited about my business.
(04:44):
I get excited about the growthof my business and the podcast,
but I also love gardening and Ilove coloring, and I love
painting and I love doing craftswith my kids, and I love being a
mom.
And I also want to go toliterally every event, not only
at my kids' school, but I wannasign them up for everything.
I want to be the bestdaughter-in-law you could ever
(05:04):
have, and I also wanna be thebest wife, and I wanna be the
best mom.
I also wanna be the best friend,but not just to one person.
I wanna be the best friend to 25people because everyone is
important.
Everything is important.
There's so many things out therethat are so amazing, except when
everything is important, nothingis important.
(05:24):
And oftentimes we underestimatethe amount of time that goes
into truly developingrelationships that mean
something to us.
So I get excited about a lot,and I love to take charge.
I want to be in charge of a lot.
I know I can do it all, but thenwhen it comes down to actually
going to all of these events andactually being friends with
(05:48):
everyone and actually being thebest at everything I could
possibly want to do.
I don't take time intoconsideration there.
I'm just excited because I trulywant all of that.
But when everything isimportant, nothing is important
because I cannot take my brainand focus on one thing because I
(06:10):
have extended it to everything.
Which, why does this relate toorganizing?
Because when I'm overextendingmyself, not only on my kids'
activities, But also with friendactivities and family activities
and trying to get my businessgoing and, and doing this and
that, it means that organizinggets put on the back burner.
It's overwhelming, but that'sthe thing that I would've chosen
(06:32):
to ignore I know that it'sthere.
It's incredibly overwhelming tome, but I don't have time to
stop and do it.
And guess what?
It's not gonna bring me anydopamine.
So I'm gonna continue to ignoreit, and I'm gonna do the things
that are way more fun, eventhough I'm overwhelmed.
So now I have no time on myhand, and I'm also trying to do
all of these organizing things,but I say this Because sometimes
(06:55):
people equate not beingorganized and having clutter
everywhere with being lazy, butthat's not it at all.
It's just the fact that one wewere never taught and organizing
is a lot harder than one mightthink.
I went into this businessthinking, yeah, of course I can
be an organizer.
And now that I know so much, I'mlike, holy crap, no wonder I
(07:17):
failed so much.
Based on all of my efforts intrying to do this, but yes.
Okay, so number one, you weren'ttaught how to get this
organizing done.
Number two, you don't have anytime.
We were never meant to be thisbusy, but we are so constantly
busy and inundated with stuffand honestly, I'd much rather go
(07:37):
and scroll on my phone and get adopamine hit than go and
organize something that I'm notgonna be able to keep organized
after a long time.
Anyway.
Also caveat to this, this is whoI was.
This isn't who I am anymore.
As far as the organizing piece,I've done a lot on building
trust with myself and believingin myself to keep things
organized, and I have that trustnow because I have practiced.
(08:01):
So this is a little bit of ablend between who I am and who I
was.
Then my A DHD hasn't gone away,but there are a lot of ways that
I've learned how to work with mybrain to understand how I can be
organized and keep a home whereI don't have to struggle to
clean it every time someone'scoming over and so on and so
(08:22):
forth.
Okay.
That's one of the reasons why Isay when everything is
important, nothing is important.
I say that so much because whenwe're so focused on everything,
we can't be focused on anything,which means that our expertise
and our insanely creativebeautiful brains are gonna be so
spread thin that the overwhelmis gonna take over and we're not
(08:44):
going to be able to use ourbrains to their fullest
potential.
People pleasing is in my nature.
My whole life I have been tryingto make other people happy and
just showing up because I loveit when other people are happy.
I am by nature just a positiveperson, right?
And I try not to be too positivebecause again, I see everybody
(09:07):
complaining about people beingtoo positive everywhere.
And I'm like, no, I don't wantthat to be me.
I need to complain aboutsomething just so that they see
I'm a normal human.
Okay, but.
That was me.
People pleasing.
Again, I'm a genuinely positiveperson, but also crap happens
and I'm happy to talk about thattoo.
But I would prefer to look atthings on the bright side.
(09:27):
That's just who I am as a personI'm not gonna apologize to for
that.
ever.
People pleasing has always beenin my nature and I didn't
realize I was doing it, but I'veconstantly showed up to try to
make others happy, to try topredict what other people want.
I don't ask them, I just thinkthat I know what they want.
(09:47):
What a dickhead move that was,how dare I decide what someone
else wants without evenconfirming with them.
Here I am just walking aroundassuming I know, what's gonna
make everyone else happy.
And I've never taken the time totruly look inward and ask myself
what I wanted.
(10:08):
So two weekends ago for mybirthday, we went up to
Breckenridge in Colorado.
And we haven't really taken timeaway since I started this
business because, I'm notgetting a corporate salary like
I used to.
I was really excited.
We had our kids come up onSaturday and I was trying to
think, what would everyone wannado?
And then I was like, whoa.
(10:29):
What do I want to do?
And asking myself that questionallowed me to say, okay, I wanna
go hiking for sure.
My husband and my daughter donot like hiking.
My other daughter does.
So I was like, okay, but whatcould we do where it's an
everyone thing?
And my husband actually told methat he didn't like hiking
because it always felt like wewere in a rush to get to the top
(10:51):
or to get somewhere, or it wassuper boring until we got to the
adventure at the top.
And then my other daughter, Shejust really doesn't like bugs.
So we found this hike that.
I wanted to go on but would makeeveryone else happy at the same
time.
and my husband had said in thecar on the way there that
morning that he wanted to see amoose.
(11:13):
So we took this beautiful hike.
And we saw moose in the wild itwas so cool.
This is nothing to do with ADHD, but it does have everything
to do with focusing on what Iwanted instead of what everyone
else wanted.
By doing something that I wantedto do, everyone else was happy
as well.
And we were able to create thisreally beautiful, incredible
(11:36):
memory.
But people pleasing isexhausting, and I don't know why
I do it.
It's actually trulyuncomfortable when I am thinking
about what I want instead ofwhat other people want.
But in the end.
I have been able to createboundaries in a way that I've
never been able to do my entirelife.
And it has been so powerful.
But for some of you listening,you might still be at the
(11:58):
beginning by saying, oh, I'm arecovering people pleaser.
But you're like, I have no ideawhat the hell to do, to not do
the things that I've done mywhole life.
And one of them is to startasking, oh, what do I want?
What do I want?
Because in the end.
That is what matters, and that'swhat's gonna fill up your cup
when you think about what youwant.
(12:18):
And not in a narcissistic way,but in a way that, Hey, what do
I need right now?
And then how is that gonnasupport me showing up for others
as well?
Okay.
Moving on to how loud it is inmy brain.
My brain is constantly on.
It is constantly going, and itis constantly thinking of the
next thing.
(12:40):
It's like a runaway train.
A train that's leaving thestation.
It might start off a little bitslow, but then it starts going
downhill and there's absolutelyno breaks on the train, and it
is a train of thought.
Haha.
That's probably why they havethat phrase.
But that train of thought takesus down this pathway.
(13:01):
Of connecting all of these newneuropathways to understand
what's next.
Now, this could happen in somany different ways.
I'll just give you an example.
This is how my brain works.
I'm gonna try to do this in realtime.
I'm sitting here in my closetand I'm looking at this dress
that I wore for my niece'swedding and it's beautiful and
I've worn it twice.
So do I keep it or do I let itgo?
Now?
(13:22):
It looks really good on me, butultimately I've already worn it
a couple times.
I've taken pictures in it, so doI really need to keep it?
But isn't that stupid?
Why do we have to let go ofsomething that has been worn a
couple times and people haveseen it in pictures before?
I'm not like a queen or aprincess or anything.
It doesn't matter if I wearthings multiple times and I
really like this dress.
(13:43):
Anyways, I could continuously goon this path.
I would start to think aboutmaybe the wedding I was at,
where I wore it, or maybe mylittle birthday party that I
wore it at.
I don't know that that's thegreatest example, but when I
start to think about myself aslazy or not a good friend, or I
start to doubt myself, and thistypically happens around the
(14:03):
time of my month that I'mgetting my period, that is when
my brain turns into a really,really mean.
Place to be.
And that's because my hormonesare changing during that time.
So I'm not getting the regulardose of the things that my body
uses to thrive.
when I start to think of myselfin a negative way, my train of
(14:24):
thought connects me to all ofthe reasons why this is true,
and it'll continue to take medown this runaway train of
thought unless I'm practicingways to put the brakes on.
This can also happen in businessideas.
I can get a new business ideaand take this on a new train of
(14:45):
thought, connecting all of theseincredible ideas together, and
it truly brings a fresh set of adopamine hit to my brain.
It's so exciting, but I'mconstantly thinking about things
very recently I have been askingmy husband what he means by
saying certain things out loud,and it's been kind of
fascinating because I alwaysthought that I knew what he
(15:06):
meant by saying certain things,but by clarifying with him, it's
actually helped me understandhim a little bit more.
And sometimes when I'm askinghim like, did you mean to say it
this way?
He's like, oh my gosh, no, thatis not what I meant to say by
saying that.
But I am constantly creatingstories in my head about what's
(15:27):
going on, which I then have totake it a step back and say,
okay, what is true?
What's really true in thissituation?
What do I know to be a fact sothat I could take it from there?
the point of me saying this isthat sometimes.
We are very good at ignoringwhat's going on around us
because it's so loud in ourbrains, because we are going
(15:47):
down this pathway of no returnand we're in the back part of
our brain.
We're not necessarily in ourprefrontal cortex where we do
all of the executive functioningand the real thinking.
We are somewhere else.
We've literally gone to thisother land it's daydreaming I
guess, but it's more of justlike my brain is always on.
(16:09):
It's constantly on.
I'm constantly thinking of whatto do next, what I'm doing next.
There's colors, there'spatterns, there's all kinds of
things happening on there, but Ican't turn it off.
It's very, very difficult toturn it off.
My daughter actually told me theother day that she couldn't hear
me because her brain was tooloud, and I was like, oh my God,
(16:29):
I can't believe that you wereable to find those words and
tell me that.
I don't know that I would'vebeen able to say that as a kid.
Here's another example of what ADHD is like I would imagine a
lot of you can relate to this inour day to day, I can be on my
way to do something and I knowexactly what I'm doing next, and
I'm actually genuinely excitedabout it.
Like I feel the feeling in mybody of what I'm doing next, and
(16:52):
I go to do it, and then it'sgone.
I don't know what it was that Iwas going to do.
Sometimes it's crossing thethreshold into a new room.
You just walk into it and you'relike, I don't know why I am
here.
I just know that I'm supposed tobe here.
And that's why we sometimesretrace our steps to go back to
where we came from to see how wegot there.
(17:14):
This is actually working memory.
I forgot to say this in thebeginning, but working memory is
the part of our brain where westore the things that we want to
do in our prefrontal cortex sothat we know what's coming next.
But because our brain is workingso fast and we're getting
distracted by things along theway, the working memory slots
that we have can get bumpedpretty easily.
there would be times when Iwould be in the car and I knew
(17:36):
that I would have to dosomething on the way home, and I
would be saying it to myself andI'm like, okay, what if I
repeated this in my head acouple times?
As I was repeating this, I wouldbe like, I know that as soon as
I get home I'm gonna forget.
How do I make peace with this?
And I would be annoyed.
I would have the thing in mymind, and I know that I need to
do this, but as soon as I gothome.
(17:58):
It would be out the window andsure enough, I would get home
and I would forget it's sofrustrating because there are
things I genuinely know I wantand need to do.
In the corporate world, I usedto play with silly putty all day
long, and I would, make thislittle snapping noise.
In fact, in some of thepodcasts, you can actually hear
me playing with it in thebackground.
(18:19):
But the silly putty helps tokeep me focused on the task at
hand.
So I'll do it while I'm workingthrough my to-do list with my
business.
I'll do it while I am on thephone with clients.
I will do it while I'm recordinga podcast.
I'm not actually doing it rightnow because I am smushed in
between my drawers behind thedress I was just talking about,
(18:40):
and the massage table we havesitting in the back of our
closet.
Fidgeting is very helpfulbecause of our hyperactivity.
And hyperactivity can show up inthe brain.
Right?
A-D-H-D-I.
Attention deficit HyperactivityDisorder.
the hyperactivity, oftentimespeople don't realize that the
hyperactivity is in the wordbecause it's either hyperactive
in our brain or hyperactive inour body, and oftentimes it is
(19:05):
both.
Regardless.
The hyperactivity in our bodieswe just need to be doing
something.
I remember as a kid, we wouldwatch Touch by an angel on
Sunday nights before the weekstarted, and I was always
looking forward to it, but mymom would never come and sit
down.
She was just always doingsomething.
It was washing the dishes or shehad to clean the kitchen, or
(19:26):
then she had to put things awayand then.
I think she knew that once shesat down, she wasn't gonna be
able to do all these otherthings.
So playing with something helpskeep me focused on what I wanna
do.
So I will actually play withSilly Putty while we're watching
TV so that I stay and I focus onwhat I'm doing, but.
That is also a state ofdysregulation where I'm just,
(19:49):
like I'm in go mode.
So I feel like I need to keepgoing to be doing something to
be productive'cause I'm in thisproductive mode and I'm afraid
that if I stop that I'm gonnalose all the momentum and all
the things that I would'vegotten done by stopping in this
moment, I'm not gonna be able toget done anymore.
Which is so interesting and Idon't have enough time to get
into it today, when it comes toA DHD, we have been in a fight
(20:12):
or flight mode our entire life,and fight or flight shows up in
multiple ways.
Fight flight, freezer, fawn,this gets triggered by our
amygdala.
Our amygdala is in the back ofour brain.
I actually used to do apresentation on this in the
corporate world, having no ideahad a DHD, but how the amygdala
responded in certain situations,the amygdala is our response
(20:35):
mechanism in the brain thathelps us understand if we need
to run from a lion or if we canplay with it if it's a friendly
lion.
But in most cases, our fight orflight response with A DHD has
been triggered our entire lives.
In fact, A DHD, I learned thisfrom a therapist friend of mine.
The A DHD symptoms that we haveare very similar to trauma
(20:57):
symptoms in trauma victims.
Regardless, this fight or flightresponse, we have shows up in
multiple places in our lives.
And it's this state ofdysregulation being in fight
flight freezer fawn, thatprevents us from getting the
things done that we need to getdone, like clutter, like
(21:19):
eliminating the additional stuffwe have in our life.
Perfectionism is actually afight or flight response, and we
strive for perfectionismbecause, well, we wanna be the
best at everything we do.
perfectionism shows up in ourclutter and in the stuff that we
have all over the place, andoftentimes it's there because we
(21:41):
want this perfect end result.
We want a Pinterest perfectpantry.
We want this after that looks soincredibly amazing.
We wanna be able to do it in aweekend, which is why you'll
find us emptying an entirecloset to be able to get
something done, because we aregonna put it back in the most
intricately amazing way youcould have ever thought
(22:01):
possible.
But the thing is, is that we gotall of this dopamine in the
beginning of the project andthen halfway through we lost
interest.
Because it's not interestinganymore.
It's exhausting.
There's so many decisions thatcome with organizing and letting
go, and oftentimes there's stepsthat we forget along the way,
like decluttering, and insteadof decluttering, we're just
(22:23):
organizing our chaos.
And when we organize our chaos,we do it in a way at the end
that feels like it could work.
But then we forget tocommunicate and we don't put
labels on things, and we justhope for the best, only to find
out that days later.
I've ruined it.
The family's ruined it, and whywould I ever try to do something
(22:43):
like this again?
It's exhausting.
So I still want so much theperfection, but now I'm gonna
avoid it until I can take twoweeks off and truly be
organized.
But we all know that that's notrealistic either.
And honestly, a lot of the timeswe approach our clutter like we
are being attacked by a lion.
So some of us go off and weresearch how many ways can we
(23:04):
attack this clutter?
How much can I learn about beingorganized before I do this so I
can start to take action andthen we don't take action.
Or I fight it because someone'scoming over, so I'm going to
throw everything in a cabinet,or I'm gonna put everything in
the front room that nobody'sgonna go in.
Like, Monica's closet andfriends, we're gonna just hide
everything and it doesn'tmatter.
(23:27):
That's just where it's gonna go.
or I'm gonna flit all over theplace.
I'm gonna start in one area, andthen I'm gonna go over here and
I'm gonna do a little bit here,but then I'm gonna start a load
of laundry, and then I'm gonnado some dishes, but nothing's
ever gonna get done because I'mgoing from one place to another.
That's flight.
Or I'm gonna see it, I'm gonnabe annoyed by it, be
overwhelmed, and I'm gonna befrozen.
(23:48):
I'm not gonna be able to takeanother step in the direction of
where I wanna go.
Those are all of these crazyways that we approach our
clutter.
And honestly, I've approached myclutter in every single one of
these ways.
Our brains are just differentand that's why it's,
neurodivergence, right?
Divergence is different.
When we have a different brain,we have to learn how to work
(24:09):
with our brains that make sensefor us and with us, but
oftentimes with so much of theworld, not understanding how our
brains work, includingourselves.
when the whole world expects usto act and perform a certain way
and we're not able to do it.
They label us in their own wayby saying you're lazy or you get
(24:30):
distracted really easily.
You're not able to focus.
How many times have we all heardsomething like that?
Or why the hell do you keepprocrastinating something?
Why do you do this?
Why do you do that?
And we're made to feel so awfulabout the things that genuinely
are symptoms of the way that ourbrain works.
A woman commented on a threadspost that I had, her name is
(24:51):
Laura Mill Ross.
It looks like she's another ADHD coach, and she said it's
like being given an iPhone whenyou've used an Android your
entire life.
What a powerful statement thatis.
Having a DHD is like being giventhe keys to an airplane or a jet
that can go incredibly fast, butyou don't have a pilot's
(25:14):
license.
My digital sidekick, who Iinterviewed too, her name is
Amanda, you're gonna hear on thepodcast soon.
She said it's like living in ajungle of overstimulation,
trying to chart a path throughit with tenderness and tenacity,
all while my mind holds all theideas, all the feelings, and all
the half finished projects.
(25:34):
When you're learning how to workwith your brain, that's
different and you've beenexpected to perform and to be a
certain way your entire life, itfeels really overwhelming.
But then you start to listen topodcasts and you start to see
that, oh my gosh, I'm not alonein this.
That's how I started.
I read a book and I was like,holy crap.
Other people have a DH ADHD too.
This is amazing.
And my brain isn't the only onelike mine out there.
(25:58):
And when you start to see that,that learning how to work with
yourself actually helps you livea life that's more peaceful and
one that you can actually startto breathe a little bit, you can
start to trust yourself a littlebit.
You start to understand how youcan ask other people for help,
or you can send this podcast tothem and say, I'm not lazy.
This is just how my brain works.
(26:20):
And actually, if you supportedme and you said things like,
Hey, I see that you might bestruggling with this.
How might I be able to supportyou?
And the first answer honestlymight be, I have no idea.
But the fact that you asked meis so incredible, and thank you
so much because.
By someone asking you thatquestion, you start to look for
(26:40):
it too.
Like, I wonder how someone couldhelp me through this.
How could it be beneficial ifthey, you know, broke things
down?
Like, Hey, I have this projectthat's I've been putting off
forever, in my closet oroutside, or gardening.
Someone might be able to seethat and say, Hey, I noticed
that you bought those plantslast week, but you still haven't
been able to plant them and itlooks like they might be dying.
(27:03):
I know that you have a lot onyour plate.
gardening probably is not thebest example because that's the
first thing I'm gonna do toavoid everything else I have
going on in my life.
Okay.
Let's think of something else.
Oh, let's come back to the muralwe were talking about.
We could say, Hey, I noticedthat you're almost done with
that mural and you've got thepaint and all the paint brushes
still sitting out, and it lookslike there's a lot of stuff
(27:24):
there.
I'd love to be able to help youput that back together.
Is there a way that I cansupport you getting that done?
Is there a way that we can makeit fun again so you feel like
you can complete this project?
Because we get such a gooddopamine hit at the beginning of
a project that we want to get itdone.
It's not that we don't want it,but that dopamine is not there
anymore.
(27:45):
So getting back to a projectthat's already in motion doesn't
feel as great.
That's also often why we have somany hobbies that we don't come
back to, and then we have like ahobby grave that we need to go
and bury somewhere.
I could go on and on and onabout how my brain works for so
long, but I really wanna hearfrom you.
So please reach out to me infoat organizing an adhd brain.com.
(28:08):
What do you want someone who'sneurotypical to understand about
your brain so that they canstart to work with you instead
of against you?
And this is so important when itcomes to organizing, but also in
how you live your life.
Advocating for yourself in yourwork and being an entrepreneur
or just as an employee.
There's so many different waysthat understanding your brain is
(28:29):
gonna support you, and justbecause you listen to this
podcast doesn't mean that yourbrain works like mine.
It just means that you have aneurodivergence that you get to
get behind and start tounderstand in a way that's gonna
make sense for you.
I have a community.
It's called organizing an A DHDBrain.
It's on the platform that isCircle.
I love it.
The people in there arebeautiful, and this month we're
(28:51):
talking about the tools that weuse.
I never come back to.
And actually what's really coolis the conversation this month
is we're also talking about thetools that we have come back to.
A lot of us have actually triedsomething and then we gave up
for a year and then came back toit a year later, which is so
cool to hear.
'cause I knew I did that and Isee other people are doing that
too.
At the end of this month, youare no longer gonna be able to
(29:14):
sign up for the community.
I'm closing it for the summer.
As we're focusing on the move,I'm still gonna be super active
in there, but I really wannatake time to nurture the people
that are there, get to knowthem.
When you do sign up after youcomplete onboarding, which is
like super easy videos to walkthrough so you understand how to
use the community.
You get a free 30 minutecoaching with me so that we can
talk about what's most importantfor you I got that from Russ,
(29:37):
from the A DHD brother, so thankyou, Russ.
Shout out to you.
it's been so great just gettingto know the people that are
there.
Community is so beneficial,especially when you know that
you are not the only one goingthrough this.
You are not.
I do have one spot left forcoaching this summer, only one,
and then I'm gonna start a waitlist for the fall.
(29:58):
I only worked with a limitedamount of people, one-on-one.
It's so important to me that I'mable to dive into your life and
really get to know you.
'cause that's the only way wecan start to create solutions
that make sense for your brain.
This is not a one size fits alltype of thing.
I'm working with you to find outwhat works for you and then of
course, providing you withexpertise along the way.
(30:20):
So if you're interested, reachout.
My calendar is in the show notesbelow.
Join the community by going toorganizing an ADHD
brain.com/community.
You'll see all the events thatwe have going on, everything
else that's going on.
thanks so much for tuning in.
I'm gonna continue to keep youup to date with this journey of
letting everything go, movingacross the country.
(30:43):
It is definitely a lesson inunderstanding what my nervous
system can handle now that we'remaking such a gigantic change.
Actually today, I donatedliterally 250 CDs and DVDs to
Goodwill.
It made me a little sick atfirst, and I did it because we
(31:04):
never used them, and why am Ikeeping these things that we
never use?
And then I started going off onthis, like we spent so much
money on CDs and DVDs and we hadownership of them and now we
stream literally everything.
I kept probably about A hundredDVDs for the girls if we do
decide to buy a motor home todrive across the country.
but for now that will counttowards tax savings next year.
(31:28):
And I feel good about that.
And if someone goes to Goodwilland finds those incredible CDs
and also this, Indiana Jonescomputer game that I had a
really long time ago, that wasprobably one of my favorite
computer games ever to play.
I hope it just makes their lifebetter.
next week.
I'm really excited.
I am going to have.
(31:48):
My friend Inger Shey on, I mether on LinkedIn.
She is a community for blackwomen with A DHD.
I am so pumped to shout her outbecause every woman, every man,
anyone with A DHD needs to findtheir right community to help
them thrive in life.
I'll see you next week.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
I am coming to you from mycloset, and if you've been here
since the very beginning, youknow that when I first started
recording my podcast, I wasrecording in my closet.
Part of it is because the soundis soaked up by all of the
(00:20):
clothes, And another reason isbecause the room that I normally
record the podcast in, all thestuff has been sold.
And I still have a desk inthere.
But it is so echoy, even withall the soundproof tiles.
And it feels so weird.
It's just weird.
Things are changing and I feellike my nervous system is a
little out of whack.
Some days I ask myself, what thehell am I doing?
(00:43):
And then other days, I know thatwe're on this new adventure for
a reason and that there'ssomething calling us back east.
this week I wanted to recordthis podcast because I have a
lot of clients who have peoplein their life that don't
understand what A DHD is.
So I'm going to attempt to.
Talk to you about what's goingon inside my brain, but then
(01:05):
also share some experiences thatI've heard from other people so
that people who are quoteunquote neurotypical might start
to understand what it's like totruly have a DHD and how we're
not trying to make your lifemore difficult by having a DHD,
but this is just our livedexperience.
(01:26):
This episode is dedicated to thewoman whose husband didn't even
believe that A DHD was realuntil their son got diagnosed
and started to understand hislived experience.
This episode is dedicated to anyof you who have been called
lazy, but can't understand howto take that laziness out of
(01:47):
your life.
It is dedicated to the peoplewho have felt misunderstood most
of their lives, but also feellike they can conquer the world
in some aspects of their life.
It's dedicated to all of you,really.
And I hope this is exactly whatyou need to hear, and I hope
that this brings some clarity tothe people in your life if you
can send this to them to helpthem understand truly what
(02:08):
you're going through.
The things that I'll talk to youabout during this episode are
executive function.
And when I talk about executivefunction, that is the ability to
break larger tasks into smallertasks, like truly break it down
into step-by-step instructionsthat we can understand.
I'm gonna talk about timeblindness and not truly having a
(02:29):
concept behind the time thatwe're spending on something, or
the time that something needs tohappen.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout impulsivity and the fact
that that is a real common thingthat comes along with having a
DHD and it's part of our fightor flight response when we are
trying to deal with life ingeneral or something that
(02:51):
triggers us.
And I'll also talk to you alittle bit about emotions.
We feel.
Emotions really, really big.
Oftentimes a lot bigger thanneurotypical people, which is
why, sometimes we can havebigger emotional outbursts, and
that could be on both ends ofthe spectrum.
It could be with anger, but itcan also be with happiness.
sometimes, people with A DHD aresome of the most fun people to
(03:14):
be around.
it's hard to separate organizingout of all of the other A DHD
stuff.
So I will talk about it today,but I'm also gonna talk about
the other stuff that comes alongbecause all of it's important.
I really can't separate me fromthe A DHD.
So there are some things thatyou'll hear that you may not
experience, and there are somethings that you won't hear
(03:36):
because I just haven't said themyet.
I am gonna do a follow-upepisode where I'll talk a little
bit more about your experiences.
So after you're done today,Please send me an email info at
organizing an adhd brain.com.
Send me your story.
Tell me what you would like yourneurotypical friends and
families to understand about youso I can share it on a future
(04:00):
podcast episode.
Let's go ahead and just jumpright in.
I get excited about a lot ofthings We have an interest based
nervous system, and what thatmeans is that.
Doing mundane tasks like washingthe dishes or throwing away
trash brings us no excitementwhatsoever.
Even when we complete it, whichis why oftentimes we're gonna
(04:22):
avoid doing the things that weknow we need to do to do the
things that we really want todo.
And that's why you'll findpeople with A DHD may be
painting a mural in the livingroom instead of washing the
dishes that have been there forsix days.
Very real thing that could behappening.
But I get excited about a lot ofthings.
And what I mean by that is I getexcited about my business.
(04:44):
I get excited about the growthof my business and the podcast,
but I also love gardening and Ilove coloring, and I love
painting and I love doing craftswith my kids, and I love being a
mom.
And I also want to go toliterally every event, not only
at my kids' school, but I wannasign them up for everything.
I want to be the bestdaughter-in-law you could ever
(05:04):
have, and I also wanna be thebest wife, and I wanna be the
best mom.
I also wanna be the best friend,but not just to one person.
I wanna be the best friend to 25people because everyone is
important.
Everything is important.
There's so many things out therethat are so amazing, except when
everything is important, nothingis important.
(05:24):
And oftentimes we underestimatethe amount of time that goes
into truly developingrelationships that mean
something to us.
So I get excited about a lot,and I love to take charge.
I want to be in charge of a lot.
I know I can do it all, but thenwhen it comes down to actually
going to all of these events andactually being friends with
(05:48):
everyone and actually being thebest at everything I could
possibly want to do.
I don't take time intoconsideration there.
I'm just excited because I trulywant all of that.
But when everything isimportant, nothing is important
because I cannot take my brainand focus on one thing because I
(06:10):
have extended it to everything.
Which, why does this relate toorganizing?
Because when I'm overextendingmyself, not only on my kids'
activities, But also with friendactivities and family activities
and trying to get my businessgoing and, and doing this and
that, it means that organizinggets put on the back burner.
It's overwhelming, but that'sthe thing that I would've chosen
(06:32):
to ignore I know that it'sthere.
It's incredibly overwhelming tome, but I don't have time to
stop and do it.
And guess what?
It's not gonna bring me anydopamine.
So I'm gonna continue to ignoreit, and I'm gonna do the things
that are way more fun, eventhough I'm overwhelmed.
So now I have no time on myhand, and I'm also trying to do
all of these organizing things,but I say this Because sometimes
(06:55):
people equate not beingorganized and having clutter
everywhere with being lazy, butthat's not it at all.
It's just the fact that one wewere never taught and organizing
is a lot harder than one mightthink.
I went into this businessthinking, yeah, of course I can
be an organizer.
And now that I know so much, I'mlike, holy crap, no wonder I
(07:17):
failed so much.
Based on all of my efforts intrying to do this, but yes.
Okay, so number one, you weren'ttaught how to get this
organizing done.
Number two, you don't have anytime.
We were never meant to be thisbusy, but we are so constantly
busy and inundated with stuffand honestly, I'd much rather go
(07:37):
and scroll on my phone and get adopamine hit than go and
organize something that I'm notgonna be able to keep organized
after a long time.
Anyway.
Also caveat to this, this is whoI was.
This isn't who I am anymore.
As far as the organizing piece,I've done a lot on building
trust with myself and believingin myself to keep things
organized, and I have that trustnow because I have practiced.
(08:01):
So this is a little bit of ablend between who I am and who I
was.
Then my A DHD hasn't gone away,but there are a lot of ways that
I've learned how to work with mybrain to understand how I can be
organized and keep a home whereI don't have to struggle to
clean it every time someone'scoming over and so on and so
(08:22):
forth.
Okay.
That's one of the reasons why Isay when everything is
important, nothing is important.
I say that so much because whenwe're so focused on everything,
we can't be focused on anything,which means that our expertise
and our insanely creativebeautiful brains are gonna be so
spread thin that the overwhelmis gonna take over and we're not
(08:44):
going to be able to use ourbrains to their fullest
potential.
People pleasing is in my nature.
My whole life I have been tryingto make other people happy and
just showing up because I loveit when other people are happy.
I am by nature just a positiveperson, right?
And I try not to be too positivebecause again, I see everybody
(09:07):
complaining about people beingtoo positive everywhere.
And I'm like, no, I don't wantthat to be me.
I need to complain aboutsomething just so that they see
I'm a normal human.
Okay, but.
That was me.
People pleasing.
Again, I'm a genuinely positiveperson, but also crap happens
and I'm happy to talk about thattoo.
But I would prefer to look atthings on the bright side.
(09:27):
That's just who I am as a personI'm not gonna apologize to for
that.
ever.
People pleasing has always beenin my nature and I didn't
realize I was doing it, but I'veconstantly showed up to try to
make others happy, to try topredict what other people want.
I don't ask them, I just thinkthat I know what they want.
(09:47):
What a dickhead move that was,how dare I decide what someone
else wants without evenconfirming with them.
Here I am just walking aroundassuming I know, what's gonna
make everyone else happy.
And I've never taken the time totruly look inward and ask myself
what I wanted.
(10:08):
So two weekends ago for mybirthday, we went up to
Breckenridge in Colorado.
And we haven't really taken timeaway since I started this
business because, I'm notgetting a corporate salary like
I used to.
I was really excited.
We had our kids come up onSaturday and I was trying to
think, what would everyone wannado?
And then I was like, whoa.
(10:29):
What do I want to do?
And asking myself that questionallowed me to say, okay, I wanna
go hiking for sure.
My husband and my daughter donot like hiking.
My other daughter does.
So I was like, okay, but whatcould we do where it's an
everyone thing?
And my husband actually told methat he didn't like hiking
because it always felt like wewere in a rush to get to the top
(10:51):
or to get somewhere, or it wassuper boring until we got to the
adventure at the top.
And then my other daughter, Shejust really doesn't like bugs.
So we found this hike that.
I wanted to go on but would makeeveryone else happy at the same
time.
and my husband had said in thecar on the way there that
morning that he wanted to see amoose.
(11:13):
So we took this beautiful hike.
And we saw moose in the wild itwas so cool.
This is nothing to do with ADHD, but it does have everything
to do with focusing on what Iwanted instead of what everyone
else wanted.
By doing something that I wantedto do, everyone else was happy
as well.
And we were able to create thisreally beautiful, incredible
(11:36):
memory.
But people pleasing isexhausting, and I don't know why
I do it.
It's actually trulyuncomfortable when I am thinking
about what I want instead ofwhat other people want.
But in the end.
I have been able to createboundaries in a way that I've
never been able to do my entirelife.
And it has been so powerful.
But for some of you listening,you might still be at the
(11:58):
beginning by saying, oh, I'm arecovering people pleaser.
But you're like, I have no ideawhat the hell to do, to not do
the things that I've done mywhole life.
And one of them is to startasking, oh, what do I want?
What do I want?
Because in the end.
That is what matters, and that'swhat's gonna fill up your cup
when you think about what youwant.
(12:18):
And not in a narcissistic way,but in a way that, Hey, what do
I need right now?
And then how is that gonnasupport me showing up for others
as well?
Okay.
Moving on to how loud it is inmy brain.
My brain is constantly on.
It is constantly going, and itis constantly thinking of the
next thing.
(12:40):
It's like a runaway train.
A train that's leaving thestation.
It might start off a little bitslow, but then it starts going
downhill and there's absolutelyno breaks on the train, and it
is a train of thought.
Haha.
That's probably why they havethat phrase.
But that train of thought takesus down this pathway.
(13:01):
Of connecting all of these newneuropathways to understand
what's next.
Now, this could happen in somany different ways.
I'll just give you an example.
This is how my brain works.
I'm gonna try to do this in realtime.
I'm sitting here in my closetand I'm looking at this dress
that I wore for my niece'swedding and it's beautiful and
I've worn it twice.
So do I keep it or do I let itgo?
Now?
(13:22):
It looks really good on me, butultimately I've already worn it
a couple times.
I've taken pictures in it, so doI really need to keep it?
But isn't that stupid?
Why do we have to let go ofsomething that has been worn a
couple times and people haveseen it in pictures before?
I'm not like a queen or aprincess or anything.
It doesn't matter if I wearthings multiple times and I
really like this dress.
(13:43):
Anyways, I could continuously goon this path.
I would start to think aboutmaybe the wedding I was at,
where I wore it, or maybe mylittle birthday party that I
wore it at.
I don't know that that's thegreatest example, but when I
start to think about myself aslazy or not a good friend, or I
start to doubt myself, and thistypically happens around the
(14:03):
time of my month that I'mgetting my period, that is when
my brain turns into a really,really mean.
Place to be.
And that's because my hormonesare changing during that time.
So I'm not getting the regulardose of the things that my body
uses to thrive.
when I start to think of myselfin a negative way, my train of
(14:24):
thought connects me to all ofthe reasons why this is true,
and it'll continue to take medown this runaway train of
thought unless I'm practicingways to put the brakes on.
This can also happen in businessideas.
I can get a new business ideaand take this on a new train of
(14:45):
thought, connecting all of theseincredible ideas together, and
it truly brings a fresh set of adopamine hit to my brain.
It's so exciting, but I'mconstantly thinking about things
very recently I have been askingmy husband what he means by
saying certain things out loud,and it's been kind of
fascinating because I alwaysthought that I knew what he
(15:06):
meant by saying certain things,but by clarifying with him, it's
actually helped me understandhim a little bit more.
And sometimes when I'm askinghim like, did you mean to say it
this way?
He's like, oh my gosh, no, thatis not what I meant to say by
saying that.
But I am constantly creatingstories in my head about what's
(15:27):
going on, which I then have totake it a step back and say,
okay, what is true?
What's really true in thissituation?
What do I know to be a fact sothat I could take it from there?
the point of me saying this isthat sometimes.
We are very good at ignoringwhat's going on around us
because it's so loud in ourbrains, because we are going
(15:47):
down this pathway of no returnand we're in the back part of
our brain.
We're not necessarily in ourprefrontal cortex where we do
all of the executive functioningand the real thinking.
We are somewhere else.
We've literally gone to thisother land it's daydreaming I
guess, but it's more of justlike my brain is always on.
(16:09):
It's constantly on.
I'm constantly thinking of whatto do next, what I'm doing next.
There's colors, there'spatterns, there's all kinds of
things happening on there, but Ican't turn it off.
It's very, very difficult toturn it off.
My daughter actually told me theother day that she couldn't hear
me because her brain was tooloud, and I was like, oh my God,
(16:29):
I can't believe that you wereable to find those words and
tell me that.
I don't know that I would'vebeen able to say that as a kid.
Here's another example of what ADHD is like I would imagine a
lot of you can relate to this inour day to day, I can be on my
way to do something and I knowexactly what I'm doing next, and
I'm actually genuinely excitedabout it.
Like I feel the feeling in mybody of what I'm doing next, and
(16:52):
I go to do it, and then it'sgone.
I don't know what it was that Iwas going to do.
Sometimes it's crossing thethreshold into a new room.
You just walk into it and you'relike, I don't know why I am
here.
I just know that I'm supposed tobe here.
And that's why we sometimesretrace our steps to go back to
where we came from to see how wegot there.
(17:14):
This is actually working memory.
I forgot to say this in thebeginning, but working memory is
the part of our brain where westore the things that we want to
do in our prefrontal cortex sothat we know what's coming next.
But because our brain is workingso fast and we're getting
distracted by things along theway, the working memory slots
that we have can get bumpedpretty easily.
there would be times when Iwould be in the car and I knew
(17:36):
that I would have to dosomething on the way home, and I
would be saying it to myself andI'm like, okay, what if I
repeated this in my head acouple times?
As I was repeating this, I wouldbe like, I know that as soon as
I get home I'm gonna forget.
How do I make peace with this?
And I would be annoyed.
I would have the thing in mymind, and I know that I need to
do this, but as soon as I gothome.
(17:58):
It would be out the window andsure enough, I would get home
and I would forget it's sofrustrating because there are
things I genuinely know I wantand need to do.
In the corporate world, I usedto play with silly putty all day
long, and I would, make thislittle snapping noise.
In fact, in some of thepodcasts, you can actually hear
me playing with it in thebackground.
(18:19):
But the silly putty helps tokeep me focused on the task at
hand.
So I'll do it while I'm workingthrough my to-do list with my
business.
I'll do it while I am on thephone with clients.
I will do it while I'm recordinga podcast.
I'm not actually doing it rightnow because I am smushed in
between my drawers behind thedress I was just talking about,
(18:40):
and the massage table we havesitting in the back of our
closet.
Fidgeting is very helpfulbecause of our hyperactivity.
And hyperactivity can show up inthe brain.
Right?
A-D-H-D-I.
Attention deficit HyperactivityDisorder.
the hyperactivity, oftentimespeople don't realize that the
hyperactivity is in the wordbecause it's either hyperactive
in our brain or hyperactive inour body, and oftentimes it is
(19:05):
both.
Regardless.
The hyperactivity in our bodieswe just need to be doing
something.
I remember as a kid, we wouldwatch Touch by an angel on
Sunday nights before the weekstarted, and I was always
looking forward to it, but mymom would never come and sit
down.
She was just always doingsomething.
It was washing the dishes or shehad to clean the kitchen, or
(19:26):
then she had to put things awayand then.
I think she knew that once shesat down, she wasn't gonna be
able to do all these otherthings.
So playing with something helpskeep me focused on what I wanna
do.
So I will actually play withSilly Putty while we're watching
TV so that I stay and I focus onwhat I'm doing, but.
That is also a state ofdysregulation where I'm just,
(19:49):
like I'm in go mode.
So I feel like I need to keepgoing to be doing something to
be productive'cause I'm in thisproductive mode and I'm afraid
that if I stop that I'm gonnalose all the momentum and all
the things that I would'vegotten done by stopping in this
moment, I'm not gonna be able toget done anymore.
Which is so interesting and Idon't have enough time to get
into it today, when it comes toA DHD, we have been in a fight
(20:12):
or flight mode our entire life,and fight or flight shows up in
multiple ways.
Fight flight, freezer, fawn,this gets triggered by our
amygdala.
Our amygdala is in the back ofour brain.
I actually used to do apresentation on this in the
corporate world, having no ideahad a DHD, but how the amygdala
responded in certain situations,the amygdala is our response
(20:35):
mechanism in the brain thathelps us understand if we need
to run from a lion or if we canplay with it if it's a friendly
lion.
But in most cases, our fight orflight response with A DHD has
been triggered our entire lives.
In fact, A DHD, I learned thisfrom a therapist friend of mine.
The A DHD symptoms that we haveare very similar to trauma
(20:57):
symptoms in trauma victims.
Regardless, this fight or flightresponse, we have shows up in
multiple places in our lives.
And it's this state ofdysregulation being in fight
flight freezer fawn, thatprevents us from getting the
things done that we need to getdone, like clutter, like
(21:19):
eliminating the additional stuffwe have in our life.
Perfectionism is actually afight or flight response, and we
strive for perfectionismbecause, well, we wanna be the
best at everything we do.
perfectionism shows up in ourclutter and in the stuff that we
have all over the place, andoftentimes it's there because we
(21:41):
want this perfect end result.
We want a Pinterest perfectpantry.
We want this after that looks soincredibly amazing.
We wanna be able to do it in aweekend, which is why you'll
find us emptying an entirecloset to be able to get
something done, because we aregonna put it back in the most
intricately amazing way youcould have ever thought
(22:01):
possible.
But the thing is, is that we gotall of this dopamine in the
beginning of the project andthen halfway through we lost
interest.
Because it's not interestinganymore.
It's exhausting.
There's so many decisions thatcome with organizing and letting
go, and oftentimes there's stepsthat we forget along the way,
like decluttering, and insteadof decluttering, we're just
(22:23):
organizing our chaos.
And when we organize our chaos,we do it in a way at the end
that feels like it could work.
But then we forget tocommunicate and we don't put
labels on things, and we justhope for the best, only to find
out that days later.
I've ruined it.
The family's ruined it, and whywould I ever try to do something
(22:43):
like this again?
It's exhausting.
So I still want so much theperfection, but now I'm gonna
avoid it until I can take twoweeks off and truly be
organized.
But we all know that that's notrealistic either.
And honestly, a lot of the timeswe approach our clutter like we
are being attacked by a lion.
So some of us go off and weresearch how many ways can we
(23:04):
attack this clutter?
How much can I learn about beingorganized before I do this so I
can start to take action andthen we don't take action.
Or I fight it because someone'scoming over, so I'm going to
throw everything in a cabinet,or I'm gonna put everything in
the front room that nobody'sgonna go in.
Like, Monica's closet andfriends, we're gonna just hide
everything and it doesn'tmatter.
(23:27):
That's just where it's gonna go.
or I'm gonna flit all over theplace.
I'm gonna start in one area, andthen I'm gonna go over here and
I'm gonna do a little bit here,but then I'm gonna start a load
of laundry, and then I'm gonnado some dishes, but nothing's
ever gonna get done because I'mgoing from one place to another.
That's flight.
Or I'm gonna see it, I'm gonnabe annoyed by it, be
overwhelmed, and I'm gonna befrozen.
(23:48):
I'm not gonna be able to takeanother step in the direction of
where I wanna go.
Those are all of these crazyways that we approach our
clutter.
And honestly, I've approached myclutter in every single one of
these ways.
Our brains are just differentand that's why it's,
neurodivergence, right?
Divergence is different.
When we have a different brain,we have to learn how to work
(24:09):
with our brains that make sensefor us and with us, but
oftentimes with so much of theworld, not understanding how our
brains work, includingourselves.
when the whole world expects usto act and perform a certain way
and we're not able to do it.
They label us in their own wayby saying you're lazy or you get
(24:30):
distracted really easily.
You're not able to focus.
How many times have we all heardsomething like that?
Or why the hell do you keepprocrastinating something?
Why do you do this?
Why do you do that?
And we're made to feel so awfulabout the things that genuinely
are symptoms of the way that ourbrain works.
A woman commented on a threadspost that I had, her name is
(24:51):
Laura Mill Ross.
It looks like she's another ADHD coach, and she said it's
like being given an iPhone whenyou've used an Android your
entire life.
What a powerful statement thatis.
Having a DHD is like being giventhe keys to an airplane or a jet
that can go incredibly fast, butyou don't have a pilot's
(25:14):
license.
My digital sidekick, who Iinterviewed too, her name is
Amanda, you're gonna hear on thepodcast soon.
She said it's like living in ajungle of overstimulation,
trying to chart a path throughit with tenderness and tenacity,
all while my mind holds all theideas, all the feelings, and all
the half finished projects.
(25:34):
When you're learning how to workwith your brain, that's
different and you've beenexpected to perform and to be a
certain way your entire life, itfeels really overwhelming.
But then you start to listen topodcasts and you start to see
that, oh my gosh, I'm not alonein this.
That's how I started.
I read a book and I was like,holy crap.
Other people have a DH ADHD too.
This is amazing.
And my brain isn't the only onelike mine out there.
(25:58):
And when you start to see that,that learning how to work with
yourself actually helps you livea life that's more peaceful and
one that you can actually startto breathe a little bit, you can
start to trust yourself a littlebit.
You start to understand how youcan ask other people for help,
or you can send this podcast tothem and say, I'm not lazy.
This is just how my brain works.
(26:20):
And actually, if you supportedme and you said things like,
Hey, I see that you might bestruggling with this.
How might I be able to supportyou?
And the first answer honestlymight be, I have no idea.
But the fact that you asked meis so incredible, and thank you
so much because.
By someone asking you thatquestion, you start to look for
(26:40):
it too.
Like, I wonder how someone couldhelp me through this.
How could it be beneficial ifthey, you know, broke things
down?
Like, Hey, I have this projectthat's I've been putting off
forever, in my closet oroutside, or gardening.
Someone might be able to seethat and say, Hey, I noticed
that you bought those plantslast week, but you still haven't
been able to plant them and itlooks like they might be dying.
(27:03):
I know that you have a lot onyour plate.
gardening probably is not thebest example because that's the
first thing I'm gonna do toavoid everything else I have
going on in my life.
Okay.
Let's think of something else.
Oh, let's come back to the muralwe were talking about.
We could say, Hey, I noticedthat you're almost done with
that mural and you've got thepaint and all the paint brushes
still sitting out, and it lookslike there's a lot of stuff
(27:24):
there.
I'd love to be able to help youput that back together.
Is there a way that I cansupport you getting that done?
Is there a way that we can makeit fun again so you feel like
you can complete this project?
Because we get such a gooddopamine hit at the beginning of
a project that we want to get itdone.
It's not that we don't want it,but that dopamine is not there
anymore.
(27:45):
So getting back to a projectthat's already in motion doesn't
feel as great.
That's also often why we have somany hobbies that we don't come
back to, and then we have like ahobby grave that we need to go
and bury somewhere.
I could go on and on and onabout how my brain works for so
long, but I really wanna hearfrom you.
So please reach out to me infoat organizing an adhd brain.com.
(28:08):
What do you want someone who'sneurotypical to understand about
your brain so that they canstart to work with you instead
of against you?
And this is so important when itcomes to organizing, but also in
how you live your life.
Advocating for yourself in yourwork and being an entrepreneur
or just as an employee.
There's so many different waysthat understanding your brain is
(28:29):
gonna support you, and justbecause you listen to this
podcast doesn't mean that yourbrain works like mine.
It just means that you have aneurodivergence that you get to
get behind and start tounderstand in a way that's gonna
make sense for you.
I have a community.
It's called organizing an A DHDBrain.
It's on the platform that isCircle.
I love it.
The people in there arebeautiful, and this month we're
(28:51):
talking about the tools that weuse.
I never come back to.
And actually what's really coolis the conversation this month
is we're also talking about thetools that we have come back to.
A lot of us have actually triedsomething and then we gave up
for a year and then came back toit a year later, which is so
cool to hear.
'cause I knew I did that and Isee other people are doing that
too.
At the end of this month, youare no longer gonna be able to
(29:14):
sign up for the community.
I'm closing it for the summer.
As we're focusing on the move,I'm still gonna be super active
in there, but I really wannatake time to nurture the people
that are there, get to knowthem.
When you do sign up after youcomplete onboarding, which is
like super easy videos to walkthrough so you understand how to
use the community.
You get a free 30 minutecoaching with me so that we can
talk about what's most importantfor you I got that from Russ,
(29:37):
from the A DHD brother, so thankyou, Russ.
Shout out to you.
it's been so great just gettingto know the people that are
there.
Community is so beneficial,especially when you know that
you are not the only one goingthrough this.
You are not.
I do have one spot left forcoaching this summer, only one,
and then I'm gonna start a waitlist for the fall.
(29:58):
I only worked with a limitedamount of people, one-on-one.
It's so important to me that I'mable to dive into your life and
really get to know you.
'cause that's the only way wecan start to create solutions
that make sense for your brain.
This is not a one size fits alltype of thing.
I'm working with you to find outwhat works for you and then of
course, providing you withexpertise along the way.
(30:20):
So if you're interested, reachout.
My calendar is in the show notesbelow.
Join the community by going toorganizing an ADHD
brain.com/community.
You'll see all the events thatwe have going on, everything
else that's going on.
thanks so much for tuning in.
I'm gonna continue to keep youup to date with this journey of
letting everything go, movingacross the country.
(30:43):
It is definitely a lesson inunderstanding what my nervous
system can handle now that we'remaking such a gigantic change.
Actually today, I donatedliterally 250 CDs and DVDs to
Goodwill.
It made me a little sick atfirst, and I did it because we
(31:04):
never used them, and why am Ikeeping these things that we
never use?
And then I started going off onthis, like we spent so much
money on CDs and DVDs and we hadownership of them and now we
stream literally everything.
I kept probably about A hundredDVDs for the girls if we do
decide to buy a motor home todrive across the country.
but for now that will counttowards tax savings next year.
(31:28):
And I feel good about that.
And if someone goes to Goodwilland finds those incredible CDs
and also this, Indiana Jonescomputer game that I had a
really long time ago, that wasprobably one of my favorite
computer games ever to play.
I hope it just makes their lifebetter.
next week.
I'm really excited.
I am going to have.
(31:48):
My friend Inger Shey on, I mether on LinkedIn.
She is a community for blackwomen with A DHD.
I am so pumped to shout her outbecause every woman, every man,
anyone with A DHD needs to findtheir right community to help
them thrive in life.
I'll see you next week.
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