June 23, 2025 • 53 mins
YNAB: You Need a Budget
In this episode, the host celebrates Pride Month and introduces her digital sidekick, Amanda Guadalupi. They discuss the challenges of living in a constantly changing world and how emotions are particularly complex for those with ADHD. The conversation covers a variety of topics, including the importance of asking oneself 'how am I doing?', the journey of starting a business, and the continuous evolution in both professional and personal life. Amanda shares her story of being newly diagnosed with ADHD, her experience working with the host, and how she integrates her passions into her business. They also explore tools for organization, the importance of small beginnings (including starting), and the value of supportive communities. The episode concludes with an invitation to join their community and participate in upcoming events focused on decluttering and personal growth.
Amanda Guadalupi is the founder of Mind Your Queer Business, where co-creation and big feelings build unforgettable brands. She feels the most aligned with entrepreneurs who feel a little too human for business as usual. She’s a queer, neurodivergent strategist who accidentally built a business after recovering from burnout, grief, while also becoming a parent and getting diagnosed with ADHD. (It was a lot.)
Now she supports values-driven entrepreneurs in building brands with soul, and helps them use AI to amplify their voice, not replace it. Her work lives at the intersection of identity, visibility, authenticity—and the kind of strategy that won’t make you rich overnight, but might actually feel good to live inside. On her new blog Mind Your Queer Mama, she explores the mess, meaning, and magic of being a neurodivergent parent and entrepreneur. She lives in Vermont with her partner and their wild little wonder. When she's not working with creatives, you can find her knee deep in sensory bin filler & forgetting that she's turning 39, not 40.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindyourqueerbusiness/
Website: www.mindyourqueerbusiness.com
03:06 Meet Amanda Guadalupi
04:17 Amanda's Journey and Business Insights
08:45 Branding and Personal Growth
17:46 Organizing Tips for ADHD
21:13 Tools and Strategies for Business Organization
25:32 Overcoming Overwhelm and Embracing Consistency
26:59 The Power of Community and Support
28:53 Starting Small and Taking Action
31:33 Embracing Growth and Self-Acceptance
39:07 Intentional Living and Room Swaps
Join the Organizing an ADHD Brain COMMUNITY waitlist for the FALL: What is the Community?
Looking for ADHD-friendly support with decluttering, organizing, or just making life feel a little less chaotic? The new Ways To Connect page is your go-to hub for real-life tools, gentle guidance, and ways to connect—free and paid, no pressure.
The TO DO list Daily Planner is available here! TO DO List Daily Planner
The ULTIMATE Recycling & Disposal Guide: Disposal Guide
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
This week I'm really excited towish you a happy Pride month,
which I haven't done yet.
Oh my goodness.
And also introduce you to mydigital sidekick, Amanda
Guadalupe.
And she is absolutelyincredible.
We have a very lightheartedconversation in the podcast this
(00:22):
week, but I also know that a lotof you listening I might be
thinking about how heavy theworld feels right now, no matter
where you are, where you live,what you're feeling, what your
beliefs are, we are gettinginundated with information and
stuff being thrown at us at sucha rapid speed.
(00:42):
It's hard to even begin toprocess it or double check it or
find a resource that backs up.
How to understand this in a waythat makes sense or how we can
keep our families safe in aworld that is constantly
changing with leadership.
Let's be honest, that isn't veryreassuring on a regular basis.
One thing I talk about here, butwe don't talk about a lot with A
DHD is how emotions run rampant.
(01:04):
When it comes to the way thatour brain works, things often
become hard.
Because there's a lot ofemotions that come up when we're
transitioning from one thing toanother and handling everything
that's happening in our lives,or sometimes even the lack of
emotion until something triggersus.
So I invite you this week totake a step back and ask
(01:26):
yourself, how am I doing?
How am I actually doing?
So how are you?
Seriously?
How are you doing?
Are you okay?
And it's okay to not be okay.
I just want you to know thatyou're not alone, no matter how
you're feeling.
And it's okay to not be okay.
One moment.
(01:46):
And to also be smiling, laughingin the next, because no matter
how crazy.
No matter how much our world ischanging on a regular basis,
it's very important that we holdour heads high and we continue
to speak up, and we continue tohold our communities together,
our friends, the people whobuild us up, the people who
(02:08):
light us up, because it'sthrough that positive energy
that will help us keep going.
And yes, we will cry.
There will be days that are somuch harder than others and
we'll also find ways to lifteach other up.
That's important too.
With that said, I really hopeyou enjoy this episode today.
Amanda and I hilariously findout that we're the same age in
(02:29):
this episode, and also how tallwe are.
So many unique, fun things.
We also talk about just gettingstarted, like what does it mean
to get started?
There's so many people that Ispeak to that don't know where
to start.
I am gonna do another episode onsome really great ideas on how
to get started with A DHD whenit comes to not only my advice
(02:50):
as a coach, but how I do itmyself.
One of the things that Iencourage you to do.
Is, ask yourself how you are andif you're tired, if you're
overwhelmed, take the rest Youneed so much.
With that said, here's Amanda.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
I am so excited to introduce youto my friend and digital
(03:14):
sidekick.
Amanda, welcome to the show.
Amanda, hello.
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited, to just be apart of it.
I love what you do and I happento know a lot about what you do
because Amanda has been helpingme in the business for months
now.
I think we met last November,October-ish I think so.
(03:39):
It was cool because I hadstarted my business a year
earlier and I was at my witsend, as they say, and didn't
know.
Gosh, like what I needed to donext.
I just knew I needed help.
And so I had been talking aboutjust obviously running the
business on the podcast, andthen I posted on LinkedIn that I
(04:01):
was looking for an assistant,someone to support me, and lo
and behold, you found me.
But tell me a little bit aboutyour journey and how you found
me.
Because I just love the story.
It's just so fun in how ourworld's collided and it all
worked out.
Yeah, I totally agree.
I was a more newly diagnosed,adhd or I think it was like the
(04:21):
fall leading up to meeting you.
and so I was trying to absorb asmuch content as I could and just
finding podcasts that feltaligned with where I was at.
And I really started listeningto some of your episodes and
just really enjoyed your guests,really enjoyed your tone, and
just how you spoke about.
something that could just seemso easy, but as we know, like
(04:43):
it's really difficult when youhave a DHD, but just you had
such like a, likeself-acceptance, energy to the
whole idea of organizing and itwas so much more than just a
space.
And I was like, I need thispodcast.
And so I just started listeningthrough and I think you had
someone on who had maybe avirtual assistant or something
(05:04):
like that, and then found you onLinkedIn and saw that you had
actually made a post about it.
And at the time I was reallyonly, working with a couple of
people.
I was mostly full time stay athome mom, but I was ready to
take the next step or go back toa nine to five.
It was one or the other.
and I just had to reach out.
I had to throw my hat in,because you were exactly the
(05:26):
kind of person that I would wantto work with.
That's so cool.
And thank you for reaching out.
And it worked out because we metand then in classic A DHD form.
I don't think I reached back outfor another three weeks or so.
Then I was like, let's do this.
Let's make it happen.
Honestly, it's been so helpfulbecause I think in so much of
our lives, as a professionalorganizer, I'm good at the
(05:48):
physical stuff and I'm good atexplaining that through and
helping you make decisions.
But when it comes to managingthis business, this is a whole
nother level.
And now I not only have to be anexpert at finances, which you
know,'cause you're running yourown business too.
Mm-hmm.
You have to be an expertmarketer and then you have to be
an expert at, customer serviceand speaking to people.
(06:08):
And there's so much that goesinto it.
And hiring you has been one ofthe best things I could have
ever done for myself becauseyou've removed some of the
barriers to getting stuff doneand helped me with your
expertise and some of the thingsthat I'm just not an expert at,
which has been fascinating.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour business.
(06:30):
What do you do and.
How do you show up in thisworld?
Yeah.
my business mind, your queerbusiness was born at a really,
just such a raw, weird time inmy life, of being a new parent
and, newly diagnosed and justhad a lot of personal
(06:50):
intersecting.
Big catalyst happening.
and it was born because I, ifyou look at my resume, like it
was very clear I had a DHD, it'svery clear.
I didn't know.
But I have all these interestingjobs and I can wear many hats
and I love working for smallbusinesses and love working for
CEOs and love just getting inthere and being the right hand,
(07:11):
to my detriment.
I had this really robustskillset, like pretty, pretty
crazy when it comes to doingthis, more admin stuff to some
more design stuff.
And I've always been a creative,I've always, it's just it me to
make art.
I wouldn't necessarily callmyself an artist, but I'm an
idea person and I think that'swhy, i've worked the jobs that I
(07:34):
have worked and been able topivot and go for jobs that I'm
not quite qualified for, butthen like crush it, the A DHD,
but the longevity in that is, isnot, it's not viable for me.
And I just kept feeling myboundaries, just getting pulled
out so much.
And ultimately I was like, well,what if I take all these skills
(07:55):
and use them in a way that feelsaligned with my own values and
aligned with the time I canspend on it?
And just see what happens.
And it started off with mostlyadmin and automations and behind
the scenes stuff.
And as my business has grown,you've really helped me with
(08:17):
this.
I've started to just see, someof my other skill sets that I
know have been underutilizedwith branding, and with design
and with, certain otherofferings that I'm really trying
to bring forth in my business.
that's been the evolution to nowand it's still unfolding because
that is the beauty of havingyour own, business, right?
It's never finished I've finallycome to terms with like, oh,
(08:39):
it's always going to beevolving.
Forever.
Yeah.
I'm gonna relate this back toorganizing'cause I think you
make such a good point.
I was even talking to a newbusiness owner this morning.
There's like eight thoughts atonce, but I was talking to a new
business owner this morning andI was telling her how, when I
first started my business I waslike, I will be the.
(09:01):
Exception to the rule, I'm gonnabe so successful my first year.
It's gonna be amazing.
And yes, I launched the podcast.
It was incredible.
And I grew, but also there wereso many things I had to learn
along the way that I wouldn'thave possibly been able to learn
overnight.
Not only about myself, but.
But about the business and trulywhat I wanted to do and my niche
(09:24):
and who I was talking to.
I bring that back to organizingbecause it's so important to
start.
It doesn't matter where youstart, but as long as you're
starting and you're takingaction, that's what matters.
When I first started workingwith you, I was talking to you
about my brand and I had, one ofmy friends, an incredible
graphic designer, helped me puttogether my original package.
(09:45):
I was mindful moves organizingwith megs, and then I had this
really cool circle that I stillhave.
Mm-hmm.
And then I had these really coollike succulent designs, but I
had a really muted colorpalette.
And it felt right at the timebecause as I was looking into
organizing, everything around meand everything I had researched
was like, oh, it needs to becalm.
(10:06):
It needs to be subtle.
It just needs to be, a reallychill vibe.
But as we continued to work witheach other, I was like, I know
it kind of like orange.
Like let's, what if we saidorange here?
and then I had teal in one of mycolors.
So you were like, you saidorange.
Here's some ideas for you.
Which got my brain a little bitmore wrapped around the idea of
(10:29):
change.
But it didn't happen overnight.
It was, I said something, youtook action on it.
Which bridged This gap of thisbarrier I had because I knew
that changing my branding and mycolors I wanted it to happen
overnight, but it felt like thishuge project, right?
It just gradually happened overtime and now I am just
(10:51):
organizing an A DHD brain.
There's teal and there's orange,and there's pinks, and it's
bright and it makes my brainhappy.
And for me it's very calmingbecause dopamine is calming for
me, right?
I see these colors and theybring me so much joy.
So you allow that to happen forme, but it wouldn't have
(11:12):
happened if I didn't have thatadditional support.
That kind of just like flippedyour nudge in the direction of
what I said I wanted anyway.
that's why I love branding workso much because when we are.
In the thick of our business.
It is so personal.
We are right there.
Like we can't see, the forestfor the trees or whatever that
(11:35):
saying is like, we're right.
We're up against it.
So everything just feels like atany moment you can make the
wrong decision and everythingcould just be done.
Like it's so, it's the stakesfeel so high when it's our own
brand.
And what I love to do,especially when I'm so
passionate about what anentrepreneur does, which is
(11:55):
again, like why I work withpeople that I really wanna work
with, is that I see them, right?
I see you.
I feel this.
Potential with these colors.
And you had some reallywonderful, professional photos
that had been taken, but I couldtell you weren't quite ready for
just, we didn't know each otheryet.
(12:15):
and I just was like, oh, this iswho me is.
I'm not someone who's gonna belike, okay, here.
This is who you're gonna be.
I'm just an amplifier, you'realready who you are and my job
is just to pump up the volume.
I think people get it wrong alot of the time when they come
to people for brand help andsay, okay, I have no idea who I
am.
(12:36):
Tell me who I am.
I feel like that's just like arecipe for, rebranding, a year
down the road.
And so I love that it was suchan organic and such a flow of a
process, for you and for me.
And really, like for anyonethat's doing branding, the.
Biggest piece of advice I cangive you is to trust your
instincts over any trend, overany website that you kind of
(13:00):
like, trust your instincts.
If you wanted to do something,but maybe somebody else is doing
it, it doesn't matter.
Like yours is gonna bedifferent, I promise.
that's what I've learned workingwith branding specifically.
'cause it's so personal.
when I first went into thatphoto session, it was with a
friend of mine and she, oh mygosh, she's such a great
photographer in the ColoradoSprings area.
(13:22):
Lafe photography, if you're inthis area.
She's been taking our photoslike my whole.
Actually since I met Adam, weactually met working at the
brewery with her and she tookphotos of us before we even got
engaged, which I remember, andthey're kind of embarrassing.
I hope she has them somewhere.
But I went into this session andshe's like, oh, what are your
(13:42):
brand colors?
And I was like, I don't knowwhat you're saying.
I had brought orange pants withme.
I had an orange blazer.
I had a pink tank top.
And she's like, wow, these aresome bright colors.
And that was exactly who I was.
But of course I chose theseother muted tones because I
think I was trying to fit in tosomething that I thought I was
(14:05):
supposed to be.
But it's been really cool tohave these really bright colored
photos that we've establishedthis like real brand of mind out
of itself.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
That, and I think the tips thatyou offer and like how you
approach organizing, for, youknow, neurodiverse people, it is
more colorful, right?
(14:25):
I feel like I've learned so muchabout just.
Being at peace with the messymiddle.
'cause I'm for sure in the messymiddle.
Which is why I love the benefitsof working with you, is that I
get to enjoy the community andget to, you know, just be a part
of it.
Yeah, no, that's, I appreciateyou saying that too, because,
coming back to the journey ofbuilding a business, the journey
(14:47):
of organizing is the same.
There's no sprint that you'retrying to reach the end of,
right?
Mm-hmm.
This is a marathon, and even onthat marathon, there's no end
point.
You're not gonna cross thefinish line one day and be like,
I did it.
We're gonna be like, and this ishow I experienced it.
I like earlier this year, evenlast year, I was like, oh, I
(15:09):
have a lot less stuff.
I've really come so far I'mcurious, as you started
exploring your own A DHDdiagnosis and listening to
podcasts, what do you think isthe most valuable?
Piece of information that you'velearned about yourself over this
last year or even six monthsthat you could share with
(15:31):
everyone?
I think for me, there was thisweird, like permission, that had
been like gifted to me somehowto just be myself, and.
There was this moment ofrealizing, when you have a DHD,
like you're a heavy masker, youhave this mask on and you're
just, you're performing so muchof the time.
(15:51):
And I was so fused to my facethat I didn't even realize I had
it on for decades.
And all of a sudden you don'thave a mask on anymore, but you
also have the option to put somedifferent masks on and to really
just play around with thedifferent versions of you that
show up on any given day.
so just being myself, likereally being myself.
(16:14):
And it's crazy that it feelslike it's taken me, I mean, I'll
be 39 in July and I feel likeit's just taken me so long to
get to a point where I'm like,oh, I can wear whatever I want
and I can structure thisbusiness however I want and I
can, decide how much of my innersaboteur I'm gonna let in today.
(16:35):
I just feel like I have a lotmore agency over myself, as
someone who is more newlydiagnosed than I ever did
before.
That's so cool.
We're discovering'cause I'mgonna be 39 in June.
Holy smokes.
I literally said to Adam lastnight, I'm like, we're gonna be
40 next year.
I don't think I knew we were thesame.
(16:56):
Are you a, Gemini?
Yeah.
So what are, are you a Pisces?
No.
Cancer.
Cancer, okay.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I don't know a ton about thesigns, but, people send me
things about them and I'm like,thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
That's so funny that we're thesame age.
I had no idea.
our version of that, we have tokeep it to business, which is
also very like looselystructured.
I don't know how tall you are.
(17:17):
I don't know.
There's just so many things thatI don't know about you.
so how are you to learn?
I'm five one.
What?
Oh my god.
Yeah.
I have a, I have a bigpersonality.
Yeah.
But I am five, one and a half.
I'm five, seven and a half,that's so interesting.
That is fun to know.
'cause when you do meet peoplein person and then you're like,
(17:38):
whoa, I didn't even realize theheight like it, it doesn't make
a difference, obviously.
But it is interesting in my mindI'm like, well what if you're
six foot?
It just would be funny, yeah.
Okay.
So in your business, now thatyou have a DHD, what have you
learned about organizing in yourown life?
From being in my world andunderstanding your brain a
little bit more?
(17:58):
I think like starting small,these manageable bites of
organizing.
And part of that too is justhaving tools as someone who has
a DHD now, like I'm, I chosemedication and I love
medication.
and so I do feel like for thefirst time ever I'm able to bite
off just enough, to really feellike I have accomplished
(18:21):
something.
Without just pulling everythingout and then just crashing,
which is very on brand for me.
so I feel like I've learned tojust be a little more realistic
about what you can do in a dayand starting with something
small for sure.
Yeah.
Those are like the big things.
And putting things where youwould look for them.
(18:43):
Yeah, that's a big one for me.
Like clear bins.
Like it would have been socounterintuitive a couple years
ago to put anything in a clearbin, like cringe.
but now so much of my stufflives, where I can easily see
it.
Like if I pull it out, I can 360view of it's somewhere in this
bin.
when I first started thisjourney, I was kind of against
labels.
(19:04):
I was like, Ugh, I don't feellike putting a label on
everything.
We don't need labels.
And then after realizing howmuch inventory we have in our
own damn homes, if you don't puta label on it, you're never
going to be able to figure outwhere it goes.
And it's funny'cause I had aclient, actually my friend, who
is the graphic designer, she waslike, I don't really wanna do
labels.
And I was like, you have so manymediums that you're working
(19:27):
with.
I encourage you to do at leastsome labels.
Let's do some and then let'smove to the next step.
I feel like for me too, like ifyou have a spouse that you want
to stay married to, you alsoprobably want labels.
just because I know, my versionof.
What goes together and the whybehind it.
You'd have to be real psychic tofigure out my system sometimes.
(19:50):
So either working together withmy wife on does this make sense
for us?
or like really good labels orelse it's like they can't find
the, arts and crafts stuff forRex.
And that's frustrating when I'mtrying to work and it's
frustrating for everyone.
So I'm a label personpersonally.
Yeah.
But not an over labeler.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's a happy medium.
(20:11):
We just, we're sellingeverything, right?
And so we have, in our laundryroom, we have a big sign that
says laundry in the room.
And I put on Facebookmarketplace.
I'm like, do you ever findyourself not knowing what room
you're in?
Or even what to do in that room.
Well, you're in luck because Ihave a sign for you.
So we sold it this morning and Iput it outside and I was like,
(20:33):
Aw, I looked at the ceiling.
'cause like things are changingand Adam's like, do you not know
where you are right now?
But I'm like, I don't, I dunnowhere It's fun to make fun of
it, right?
But labels are so helpful andwhy we label our rooms with
these big signs.
I don't know.
Not everyone needs to do it, butI thought it was pretty
hilarious.
I feel like year two of beingtogether with my wife, we've
(20:56):
been together almost 11 yearsnow.
I was gifted a label maker, sothat should tell you something
about my personality with likegold tape.
It was like a gold tape.
Refills, label maker.
So that pretty much sums me up,right?
It's very telling of mypersonality., Even back then.
So how do you stay organized inyour business?
(21:16):
You've grown from when I firstmet you and now you're doing so
much more.
How do you stay organized andcoordinated?
'cause it's different than thephysical space.
While there's a lot that's verysimilar at the same time.
I would say I'm not necessarilyin a, in the best flow of okay,
I have my systems, they'reworking for me.
but in the short term, thebiggest thing that I've learned
(21:38):
is that, everyone's gonna try tothrow a tool at you that's gonna
help and say, oh, try thisthing, try this thing.
This is what I use.
My inclination to someone with ADHD is to be like, yes, fix it,
please.
I don't wanna have to worryabout it.
but usually i'll use the toolfor a little bit, I will stop
using it, and then I have tofigure out another solution.
So I've just started building myown solutions.
(22:00):
Even if it's something as simpleas like a Google sheet with
some, fancy formatting.
Just something that I know, it'slike the idea, if I've built it,
I understand it.
Yeah, I will use it.
So some of these platforms andCRMs and, kind of project
management tools, they have apretty high barrier to entry if
(22:21):
you wanna actually use them in away that's gonna make less work
for you.
For me right now, just having myown little systems that I'm
building seems to be, helpingwith just getting some clarity
for what I do, for who and how Istructure it.
What are the terms and just thestuff that, I wish I didn't have
to worry about it.
(22:42):
But it's important movingforward, to just have some more
consistency.
And I'm sure you understandthis.
Yeah.
and I love what you said aboutthe tool.
There's so many tools out there,like a planner.
The infamous planner, we allwant them.
Plus they're beautiful, and thenthey have this promise of
perfect organization, and that'swhat we're seeking.
(23:04):
We're seeking this perfection,but someone else has designed
it, which means that now we'retrying to fit in their box of
what's expected of us.
So if I buy a planner that has ahabit tracker and I'm not used
to tracking my habits and now Ihaven't done it, that's a
failure to me.
Like my perceived failure.
Yeah.
Now it hasn't been filled out,so now I feel like I'm not
(23:25):
accomplishing what the plannerhas put forth for me.
Agreed.
But you hit the nail on the headis when you start to understand
what you do and start outsimpler, you get to build upon
what you're doing and theneventually you can seek out some
of these other platforms as asolution to what you're already
(23:47):
doing.
But I agree, I don't think thatyou should start there.
One of my clients sent me avideo of one of those skylight
calendars.
Have you seen those?
Yeah.
It's got like a picture flow.
There's a calendar.
There's like a meal plan.
There's all kinds of really coolthings on there.
I also have one, and I set it uponce.
I spent a little bit of time onit.
(24:07):
We have a chore chart on it.
We used it about half the year,and now we just use it as
pictures.
They're just going back andforth, and my client who
messaged me, she's like, Ibought one of these and I never
use it.
And I'm like, okay.
I think in the community.
I'd love to have a month wherewe talk about, let's get out the
stuff that we bought but neverused and see if it could
(24:29):
actually help us in our life.
what could it add to our livesinstead of having to reinvent
the wheel.
I think that that's a greatidea.
'cause I know that I have thingslike that that I'm not
optimizing.
This thing was supposed to makesomething else easier, but it
felt hard at the time, but maybeit won't feel as hard right now.
Or maybe I'm in a differentplace to have more space.
(24:49):
Right.
More bandwidth to tackle it.
I use, for budgeting.
You need a budget.
I love, Me too.
They're such a cool company.
I'm a fan.
They're a really cool company.
I used to get alerts when I wasjob hunting for when jobs would
open up and I'm like, I love,yeah.
They were on a couple podcaststhat I used to listen to and I
like the way that they giveevery dollar a job.
(25:10):
So that was a good example forme is I tried to use it once and
it's cool'cause they have a freetrial where you don't have to
put your credit card informationin, which is top notch.
But when I first started, Isynced everything.
I put every account I had inthere, every credit card.
Then I even included investmentsor like my mortgage, everything.
(25:32):
Mm-hmm.
And I got so overwhelmed and itfelt like.
Too much to handle that I ranaway, and it wasn't until a year
later that I heard about themagain.
Mm-hmm.
And I was like, what if I tookthe time to enter things
manually and just kept it to thesimplest form of the ins and
(25:52):
outs of my checking account.
And then I could add a littlebit over time and I have now
been a dedicated user for yearsbecause that's like what we need
to remember with the tools andwe're not consistent, like
consistency is not in our book,which is okay.
Because it's about continuity.
It's about coming back to thethings that we know have worked
(26:13):
for us in the past and makingthem work for us again, but
maybe in a new and improved kindof way because we're looking at
it from a different lens in adifferent perspective.
Yeah, and I know personally, ifmy brain has been given that
challenge to figure the thingout and I'm up for it.
I'm gonna retain that,information better.
I'm gonna use it the way it'ssupposed to be used in a way
(26:34):
that will work for me.
and if I am, reaching for a toolfor a quick fix, it's probably
not gonna be a good fit.
But if I'm reaching for a toolbecause I wanna learn, it's
probably gonna be a better fit.
And so I really try to payattention to which is it Am I
just overwhelmed in themreaching or am I, grounded and
like looking to level up?
Interesting.
(26:54):
I love that.
Take that away.
Everyone that's delicious.
Tell me, we started thecommunity in the beginning of
the year and now we've moved toa new platform, which has been
top notch aside.
from a great platform me notbeing able to figure out how to
send a link to people to signup.
I'll get there.
However, what do you think hasbeen the biggest difference or
(27:16):
something that you've noticedjust being a part of community
that is also trying to getorganized?
Yeah.
I mean I love just having aplace to go that is not
Instagram or the news I lovestarting to wire my brain to
click that app instead.
and then I get to just like.
Around energy of like-mindedpeople who are, all kind of in
(27:40):
their own organizing journey.
who all have a DHD there's thisit's like a quiet support right
now.
'cause the group's growing, andI still just go there and
sometimes it's like, ah, I waseven rereading people's, intros
to, I have a DHD I'm gonnaforget even the people that are
in there.
I was just like rereading,learning again about people that
are in there.
(28:00):
'cause I am interested in whatpeople are doing and wanna be
supportive and wanna know wherepeople are in their journey.
So that engagement is what getsme the most excited.
It felt like it, left some weirdbox that it was in and it feels
like it, went out into theworld.
Leaving Wix and going to circle,it feels like it's got a lot
more to offer.
I agree.
And I, I just started, so whenyou join, you get a free
(28:22):
coaching, a one-on-one with me,which we should totally do, we
should do for you and I, talkingabout like your organizing
journey.
'cause I'd love to ask you somequestions.
I feel like I'm always avoidingthat with you.
let's do it.
So you get a free one-on-one 30minute call and.
It's been really powerfulbecause, and I work one-on-one
(28:42):
with people, and so I reallydive into their worlds.
And in a perfect world, I wouldhave the time to truly dive into
everyone's life, but that's notthe case.
But I was talking to a woman theother day about just not knowing
where to start.
And so I've been thinking aboutthat a ton because one of my
clients said that the other daytoo, and we're just so nervous
(29:04):
about being right and startingin the perfect place.
Where, when it comes down to it,it's about starting and part of
starting is simply just makingthe decision that you don't
wanna live the way that you'reliving anymore.
Like for me, I had no idea whatto ask for from you, which is
why it took me from having theconversation with you to see
(29:25):
what you did.
To finally saying, I'm ready,but I still don't know what to
ask for from you.
And even sometimes now I stilldon't know what to ask for from
you, but we're learning andwe're growing.
And the point is, is that whenyou start taking action in the
direction of where you wanna go,you start to truly understand
(29:46):
what's next.
And I was thinking about it thismorning, do you think that
anyone regrets?
Starting where they did.
When I think about it, I don'teven remember where I started or
it being wrong or right.
I just did it.
I think in the moment I didn'tknow where to start.
But like when I finally did it,I don't, I would never go back
(30:07):
and not start because I feellike I needed to start in a
different place.
I know.
I had taken some time off aftermy son was born.
We made a conscious decision todo that.
and I knew that I wanted to pickup a little bit of work, but I
didn't know how, and I just feltreally overwhelmed with it.
And some acquaintances of minethat are now really good friends
(30:28):
were like, can you help withthis?
We just, we know that you can dothis.
Please help.
And I was I don't.
Know if I'm ready to jump backinto whatever, because I was so
burnt out on whatever washappening years prior.
And I remember just being like,I just have to start, I just
have to see what it feels liketo not work for a company, just
(30:49):
see how it feels to help themout.
And I remember talking to mywife and saying.
I could probably have moreclients wouldn't that be cool if
I could cover our overhead?
I think I would probably go wildif I could cover our overhead.
Yeah.
that would be so cool.
But in my mind being like, thatfeels so far away.
And then fast forward, gettingto that point.
(31:11):
I'm not even celebrating it.
No, I absolutely love that.
'cause look at where you arenow.
I'm so grateful to be on thisjourney with you because it's so
cool to see you grow and eventhe women that I started this
podcast journey with to seewhere they were and where they
are now.
And yeah, the point is to startand to build on it.
(31:32):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And there's a power that it'slike, it can feel really tough
to have a late in lifediagnosis.
I had so much grief around likewho I could have been and all
these versions of myself that Icould have done anything, right?
I could have done anything.
Once I move through that and Istill feel it, but as I'm moving
through it, I'm just like, whoa.
I get to do anything.
(31:53):
Yeah.
it's pretty cool that like youcan start and that's that
permission that I'm talkingabout, right?
yes.
Where I don't know if I wouldgive myself this permission if I
were, neurotypical.
Yeah, like, I don't know, likewhat would be happening with the
chemicals in my brain.
Which is why I think we makegreat entrepreneurs.
(32:13):
you and I are pretty open abouttalking about our therapy
journey too, is just coping withthe growth through a lot of this
instead of asking what if we nowsay what now?
Mm-hmm.
Because it is very easy to lookback.
I actually just recently threwaway some of my journals from
when I was in high school.
'cause I read them, I reflectedon it and I'm like, okay, I
(32:34):
think I'm ready to let these gonow because.
It reminded me so much of who Iwas and how much of that person
I'm not anymore.
Yeah.
But also being able to imagineme giving her a hug because she
would be so proud of the woman Iam today.
These like little versions of usthat show up as we get older.
(32:55):
Are so powerful, especially likewhen we let them come forth and
then tend to them a little bit,and give them that hug that they
need.
And just even sometimes anapology like, oh man, we weren't
so nice to ourselves.
In that moment.
Right.
it's so powerful that, thatlittle work that we can do with
our empowered self to all ofthese little selves.
(33:16):
And I'm not even talking aboutmy kid self, I'm talking about
like myself four years ago.
Mm-hmm.
seeing that person being like,oh man, I wasn't being kind
enough to myself and I can seethat version feeling so sad
about that, Yeah, I never feltlike I was enough and I
constantly, I think what'sreally powerful for me nowadays
(33:37):
is that I was constantly showingup for other people and I felt
like when I let them down orperceived to have let them down
and maybe they beat me upbecause of it, I would try to
show up more to reconcile and todo more so that I would get
approval.
So to show up for myself in thisway has been a really powerful
(34:00):
transition.
I'm still learning this is agrowth journey.
And again, I don't think there'san end point, right?
Yeah.
But I do think that the more Ispeak about the way that my
brain works and the more Iunderstand it, I grow.
And one thing I realized morerecently is, sometimes I put
myself down because I.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I coachpeople on this and I can't even
(34:24):
manage it myself.
And so here I am shaming myselfbecause I'm not perfect.
But truthfully, I'm coachingwomen and men.
I'm coaching people andaccepting themselves for who
they are.
And then sometimes I'm shamingmyself.
And so that's something I'veactually really come to in the
last couple months too, is.
and yesterday I should like sayit's freaking okay that I also
(34:48):
have a DHD.
And I'm still teaching peoplehow to understand their brains.
And it's okay that I have acoach.
It's okay that I have peoplesaying kind and beautiful,
supportive words to me.
I feel like we talked about thisnot even that long ago maybe it
was even just like a quick textof like.
I'm not buying what anyone'sselling if they haven't
(35:09):
struggled.
If I can't tell that, like theyhaven't had a journey.
it's probably not gonna alignwith the reality of struggle,
right?
With the reality that there arestruggles that come.
With having a DHD with manythings in life.
And if I look to you and I lookto your brand and I see, this
perceived perfection, there'snothing that's gonna resonate.
(35:33):
For me.
And that's my, my brand is don'texpect perfection.
Like this is the weird stuffover here.
But I'm leaning into that,right?
and that's who I wanna surroundmyself with is the people who,
get it wrong.
And then do it anyway.
Right?
And just grow.
I wanna see people grow.
I wanna see my mentors and mycoaches, and I wanna see them
all grow.
I don't wanna think they'refully realized.
(35:55):
yeah, because that's no fun.
I said to my boss in thecorporate world one time, I was
like, can you tell me about atime that you failed?
And then you learned from it.
And he looked at me like I wasinsane.
And I was like, no, seriously.
I wanna know about yourfailures.
And how grew to the person thatyou are now?
'cause I recognized that in himthat he was successful and he
(36:18):
was doing some great things.
He couldn't answer me.
I don't even remember hisresponse.
I just remember the feeling inthat moment and how insecure I
think it made him feel.
But what's fascinating, is thatyou don't learn from your
successes.
You learn from your failures.
That's the only thing that'steaching you anything.
(36:41):
There's some podcasts out there.
I don't know which one, butthere's an episode called like
Failing Forward.
Like falling forward, like youfall in your face, but really
you do get somewhere, right?
You get a little bit ahead, andyou learn so much and you feel
the feeling of disappointment orwhat didn't work or what needs
to change.
You really learn how to feel it.
Then you get back up and you doit again.
(37:03):
Yeah.
I mean, and it hurts like thefailure does.
It's terrible.
Like mentally it's terrible.
Squish you, it's awful, but thenyou grow from it.
And I think once youcontinuously do it, you continue
to take action and then you seewhere you fail and you start to
succeed.
The mental anguish of it, thehard part of the actual feelings
of it, it gets easier.
(37:24):
Not in that it doesn't feel thesame, but you recognize that
feeling as growth.
You start to look at it andyou're like, oh, I'm growing
Maybe a little sarcastically atfirst.
Yeah.
But then.
You can say, oh, this is onlygonna last for about a day or
two, and then I get to seewhat's on the other side that
I'm growing from and learningfrom and understanding about
(37:46):
myself.
But you don't get there unlessyou start.
The action is what gets you tothe successes and the failures.
So many of us are so nervousabout failing that we don't
start.
I love future thinking,obviously manifestation and
things like that, and my friendCrystal, who owns a yoga studio
down the road from me.
(38:06):
She was talking about how she'salways wanted to open this yoga
studio.
It's never been the right time,but she had a friend who had
passed away from cancer and shehad always wanted to open a yoga
studio.
This friend who had passed away.
So she's like, I'm not gonna letthat be me.
I'm not gonna not do somethingand let it be too late.
(38:28):
And so she did it, and I thinkthat's really what, you know as
far as a DHD goes.
There's so much that can beinhibiting.
And then when you start torealize that you have control
over so much of what you decideto do in this world, just by
taking a tiny action instead oftrying to conquer the world in a
day, which we want.
(38:49):
Which really comes from adysregulated state.
It's that fight or flight typeof situation.
But when you start to take thesetiny actions, you see how far it
can lead you.
Absolutely.
we don't talk about it much.
I feel like I've had my ownlittle evolution with it.
I love that.
but you recently did a room swapwhere mm-hmm.
(39:10):
We're in one room and you werein Rex's room where he plays.
Mm-hmm.
And then you decided to swaprooms, which is where you're at
right now.
Mm-hmm.
But when I asked you, I waslike, well, what's the vision in
each room?
Have you thought about what youtruly want each room to be?
And you were like, oh.
So how did that change the waythat you went about that?
(39:31):
Just kind of knowing what youwanted, or did you put more
thought into what you wanted atthe end of it?
So before we even started, afterwe'd had that conversation, I.
Sat down with Jen and I waslike, let's talk about this.
Which is so different than likethe logistics of actually
navigating a room switch.
Um, and I think just right offthe jump, it just helped to like
(39:53):
regulate us both to just thinkabout a feeling instead of, all
the work that was gonna have tohappen, which was just kind of
creating this tension.
Uh, so we did, we thought aboutit, like what we wanted to be
and what we didn't want it tobe, and.
it was a really helpful exercisein making sure that this space,
which is now like my office isin here, we call it the den now.
(40:15):
now the whole old living room ishis playroom, and it's still
unfolding.
We're still figuring out whatthat looks like.
But now this is the adult room.
there's like a tiny toddlerchair over there, but that's it,
it's so nice to just have aspace that after he goes to bed,
we come in here and we just feellike we're not gonna step on a
Lego.
That's so nice.
And that was the intention, alot of people, when I ask them
(40:37):
that question, they're like, Ihave no idea what I want.
I just don't want this.
And it's like, okay, you don'twant this.
That's the start, but now whatdo you want?
We just expect life to happen tous.
Like one day I'll figure it out.
I should know how to organize,so I might as well, one day do
it.
And it's the difference betweenjust surviving, right?
A room swap and then likethriving in a room swap, right?
(40:57):
even just thinking a little moreabout what you want, it feels
like such a luxury when you're aparent.
Like, what do I want?
Just checking in with that Ithink was really good for us.
Tell us a little bit about yourpassion projects right now.
What are you doing aside from,building websites and being
creative and helping?
Seemingly organized A DHDentrepreneurs build their dreams
(41:19):
too.
this whole idea of leaning intowho I authentically am and just
being myself, I'm trying tofigure out how can I fit the
rest of me, which doesn't eveninvolve the websites into my
brand.
And really the biggest way is.
This blog that I am going to belaunching soon and hopefully
whenever, I don't know how longepisodes take to, to do all the
(41:42):
things to come out, but I'mgonna set it up, for the first
kind of blog to release in thenext couple of days.
And it's free, but, the blog isdeeply personal and, it's called
Mind Your Queer Mama.
So it's a take on my business,but really the intersection of
motherhood and entrepreneurshipand a DHD and there's no way to
(42:02):
just tear'em apart.
They will always exist together.
so it's a little bit, I wouldn'tsay it's tips and tricks, but
there might be some like littlenuggets in there, of wisdom.
so that's one thing I'm workingon.
Then I'm also just really tryingto Expand some of my offerings
for, I call themEntrepre-not-sures for folks who
(42:25):
are like maybe right on the edgeand aren't ready for a website,
they don't even know exactlywhat.
But they know that they're tiredof, of doing the nine to five
thing.
I wouldn't call it businesscoaching, it's not that.
but really I just, it's just tohelp with a little bit of self
clarity.
I'm doing a lot of work around,archetypes and doing some
(42:46):
archetype, readings forentrepreneur to help them see
which version of themselvesthey're stepping forward.
which mask are we, eitherputting on, taking off, which
one do we need to let go of?
And I think archetypes do areally wonderful job of helping
with pattern recognition and,just like a little more with
(43:07):
self-acceptance when we canunderstand and name this part
that's coming out right now.
first of all the nameEentrepre-not-sure.
Freaking brilliant.
I absolutely love that and Ilove what you're doing.
I love the blog.
I was talking to someone theother day.
if you're following me on myemail journey, I love writing, I
love speaking, I love,expressing myself.
(43:27):
This is such a beautiful way todo it, to, start to really
understand who you are and justby sharing your journey, whether
there's tips or tricks oranything, it's just about
knowing that you're not alone inthis journey.
When you and your wife areraising this beautiful,
incredible little boy, and youare not only an entrepreneur,
(43:47):
but you are an excellent mom.
Just the way that you prioritizebeing there for your son and.
helping him live his best lifeand just teaching him, you make
these incredible sensory boxesthat are like my side project.
It's so fun and you have acreative ability in so many
(44:08):
other ways than just what you'redoing.
And I think that so many of us,we've got these great ideas, but
you are taking action on so manyof these great ideas, and it's
so cool to see you blooming andblossoming into this version of
you that is you.
It's just you.
You're not showing up for anyoneelse, aside from, of course,
your wife and Rex, but you'reshowing up for you and truly
(44:31):
being yourself as you promoteyour business, and I love your
business name.
Because you're attracting whoyou want to work with, but you
also work with so manyheterosexual clients.
Yeah.
I feel like most of my clientsright now are, are very
heterosexual.
It's all about being a reallyintentional and fierce ally.
I work with all kinds of people,just don't be a jerk.
(44:53):
If there's one thing I've neverhad, any shame over it is being
queer.
I came out really early.
there was no weird oh, likereligion or there was just, I
never had anything to lose bybeing out.
Yeah.
Thankfully it's a privilege tosay that.
So I'm happy to put it on my,the name of my business.
Especially if it deters people,from clicking, let's connect.
(45:16):
It helps, it really does, tojust thin things out a little
bit.
But I work with everybody, Justno jerks.
Yeah.
No hate.
No hate, just like really,well-intentioned, aligned folks.
I love that.
That's really cool.
All right.
We're gonna drop all of yourcontact information in the show
notes below.
(45:37):
Is there anything else you'dlike to share?
You know, it's been such a.
Pleasure and such a journey tojust be, I call it, in my
business, I call it co-creating.
Like when I work with clients,we co-create.
It's not like a here, let me dothis for you.
It's always this collaborationand working together.
And I do feel like we have areally, really good connection
(46:02):
and it's more rare than youthink to find someone who is
like that, who can just begenuine like I want you to do.
Well, you think they would justbe all around, but it's, it's
not.
so I appreciate you so much.
I want you do.
And, I'm excited to see howthings continue to grow.
And y'all, if you're not oncircle yet, like if you have it,
(46:24):
find the thing.
you gotta just try it out andjust be part of the little fun
party.
there's memes.
Come join.
Yeah.
Come to our party.
Don't scroll on Instagram.
come do something better.
thanks for joining us.
This was such a funconversation.
My love.
I can't wait.
So fun.
Let people see what we do.
We do this every week.
We just sit here and we talkabout, we usually have some
(46:46):
filters on because we have tokeep it to business.
But this has been so lovely andI can't wait till you're back on
the east coast.
We're gonna have a hangoutsometime.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
I had so much fun recording thisepisode with Amanda, and there
were a couple things that I tookaway that I wanted to share with
you.
And remember, as any episodegoes, taking one thing away is
okay.
(47:06):
It's okay that you'd never comeback to this episode.
Even if there was something thatyou really wanted to hear, you
will continue to seek theinformation that you want and
you'll continue to take away newthings.
One thing I really loved abouther discovery and her A DHD
diagnosis was just permission tobe herself.
That she didn't have to conformto what other people or what she
thought other people needed herto be.
(47:28):
She was allowed to just show upas herself.
And I think a lot of us, if weare people pleasers in any way,
are continuing to learn thatthat is okay, that it's okay to
start small.
That actually the smaller youstart, the easier it is.
The teeny, tiniest action in thedirection of you being more
organized is huge.
(47:49):
That can be as simple as goingto your spice cabinet and
throwing out an old spice thatis expired, and what a great
excuse to get one thing outtathe spice cupboard.
We also had a really awesomeconversation about tools and
this month in the membershipwe're talking about tools and it
has been so fun.
So first I wanna highlight whatAmanda said.
(48:10):
She talks about how when she'sseeking a tool for a quick fix,
it's not gonna work.
But when she's seeking a tool tolearn, that's when she knows
it's gonna be a good fit.
Part of this is we're lookingfor something to do in the
moment and it's like thatdopamine hit, that impulsivity
that comes up.
That's often something thatcorrelates with A DHD.
(48:33):
But on the other side, if we'remaking a conscious decision on
what we wanna do next and weknow what's gonna fit into our
lives and we're looking to learnmore, that's where we know it's
gonna help us.
And then this month, becausewe've been working on this in
the community and I'm cleaningout everything, I found my old
Fitbit and I decided to chargeit up and I put it on my wrist.
(48:55):
I didn't like the way that itfelt, so I switched it to the
other side'cause that's what myhusband suggested.
And then I watched a video.
On how to use it, and I waswearing it wrong.
So now I've been using it forweeks because I watched a video
on how to use it.
Now there's still elements of itthat I'm not taking advantage
of, but I really like seeing howmuch movement I have during the
(49:15):
day.
It's keeping me very aware andmotivated to do more.
Also, we both love YNA, Icouldn't recommend it more.
And I put the link to it down inthe show notes below.
Another thing she mentionedabout organizing was just
surviving through it versusthriving through it.
And there are a lot ofdifferences that come up when it
comes to organizing.
We could survive through it byemptying a closet in a weekend
(49:38):
and try to put it back together,or we could thrive through it.
By understanding how we couldfit little, small, incremental
bites of organizing into our dayto make small changes throughout
time, because let's be honest,if you're doing it in a weekend,
it's not lasting.
Right.
There's a reason why you'relistening to this because you're
seeking more, and that is notthe way to do it.
(50:00):
I've done it.
I did it a lot, actually toomany times to count, and now I
have a podcast telling you notto do it.
You're still gonna do it,honestly, you are.
But the more you do that, butthen also start to do these
little bite size incrementalorganizing things, you'll start
to realize how beneficial it isto do smaller things.
(50:21):
This month in the community,like I said, we're talking about
tools.
Next month we are talking aboutdigital file clean out, and then
the following month We are gonnabe talking about planning
routines as school is up andcoming.
Oh my gosh, I can't believewe're only two months away,
which is so crazy.
on June 25th, 12:00 PM MountainStandard Time or 2:00 PM Eastern
(50:43):
Time, I'm going to be giving apresentation on tools that come
back from the graveyard and whywe handle tools, the way that we
do some different perspectiveson things, and kind of just
revisiting some of the toolsthat you've used before and if
they really have fit into yourlife or why they didn't.
So we have a really goodconversation about that coming
up if you're ready to join thecommunity.
(51:06):
Go to the show notes below,click on the link, join the
community, and sign up, andwe'll see you there.
The next event is this Saturdaywe have a body doubling
decluttering session we'redecluttering together, we're
getting rid of things, we'rehaving conversations about
letting go, and we're doing ittogether, which is a proven A
DHD technique.
The community closes at the endof June, So if you're ready to
(51:30):
join join now.
Otherwise, your next opportunitywon't be until the fall of 2025.
Don't forget to check in withyourself to ask how you're
doing, and I will see you nextweek.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
This week I'm really excited towish you a happy Pride month,
which I haven't done yet.
Oh my goodness.
And also introduce you to mydigital sidekick, Amanda
Guadalupe.
And she is absolutelyincredible.
We have a very lightheartedconversation in the podcast this
(00:22):
week, but I also know that a lotof you listening I might be
thinking about how heavy theworld feels right now, no matter
where you are, where you live,what you're feeling, what your
beliefs are, we are gettinginundated with information and
stuff being thrown at us at sucha rapid speed.
(00:42):
It's hard to even begin toprocess it or double check it or
find a resource that backs up.
How to understand this in a waythat makes sense or how we can
keep our families safe in aworld that is constantly
changing with leadership.
Let's be honest, that isn't veryreassuring on a regular basis.
One thing I talk about here, butwe don't talk about a lot with A
DHD is how emotions run rampant.
(01:04):
When it comes to the way thatour brain works, things often
become hard.
Because there's a lot ofemotions that come up when we're
transitioning from one thing toanother and handling everything
that's happening in our lives,or sometimes even the lack of
emotion until something triggersus.
So I invite you this week totake a step back and ask
(01:26):
yourself, how am I doing?
How am I actually doing?
So how are you?
Seriously?
How are you doing?
Are you okay?
And it's okay to not be okay.
I just want you to know thatyou're not alone, no matter how
you're feeling.
And it's okay to not be okay.
One moment.
(01:46):
And to also be smiling, laughingin the next, because no matter
how crazy.
No matter how much our world ischanging on a regular basis,
it's very important that we holdour heads high and we continue
to speak up, and we continue tohold our communities together,
our friends, the people whobuild us up, the people who
(02:08):
light us up, because it'sthrough that positive energy
that will help us keep going.
And yes, we will cry.
There will be days that are somuch harder than others and
we'll also find ways to lifteach other up.
That's important too.
With that said, I really hopeyou enjoy this episode today.
Amanda and I hilariously findout that we're the same age in
(02:29):
this episode, and also how tallwe are.
So many unique, fun things.
We also talk about just gettingstarted, like what does it mean
to get started?
There's so many people that Ispeak to that don't know where
to start.
I am gonna do another episode onsome really great ideas on how
to get started with A DHD whenit comes to not only my advice
(02:50):
as a coach, but how I do itmyself.
One of the things that Iencourage you to do.
Is, ask yourself how you are andif you're tired, if you're
overwhelmed, take the rest Youneed so much.
With that said, here's Amanda.
Welcome back to organizing an ADHD Brain.
I am so excited to introduce youto my friend and digital
(03:14):
sidekick.
Amanda, welcome to the show.
Amanda, hello.
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited, to just be apart of it.
I love what you do and I happento know a lot about what you do
because Amanda has been helpingme in the business for months
now.
I think we met last November,October-ish I think so.
(03:39):
It was cool because I hadstarted my business a year
earlier and I was at my witsend, as they say, and didn't
know.
Gosh, like what I needed to donext.
I just knew I needed help.
And so I had been talking aboutjust obviously running the
business on the podcast, andthen I posted on LinkedIn that I
(04:01):
was looking for an assistant,someone to support me, and lo
and behold, you found me.
But tell me a little bit aboutyour journey and how you found
me.
Because I just love the story.
It's just so fun in how ourworld's collided and it all
worked out.
Yeah, I totally agree.
I was a more newly diagnosed,adhd or I think it was like the
(04:21):
fall leading up to meeting you.
and so I was trying to absorb asmuch content as I could and just
finding podcasts that feltaligned with where I was at.
And I really started listeningto some of your episodes and
just really enjoyed your guests,really enjoyed your tone, and
just how you spoke about.
something that could just seemso easy, but as we know, like
(04:43):
it's really difficult when youhave a DHD, but just you had
such like a, likeself-acceptance, energy to the
whole idea of organizing and itwas so much more than just a
space.
And I was like, I need thispodcast.
And so I just started listeningthrough and I think you had
someone on who had maybe avirtual assistant or something
(05:04):
like that, and then found you onLinkedIn and saw that you had
actually made a post about it.
And at the time I was reallyonly, working with a couple of
people.
I was mostly full time stay athome mom, but I was ready to
take the next step or go back toa nine to five.
It was one or the other.
and I just had to reach out.
I had to throw my hat in,because you were exactly the
(05:26):
kind of person that I would wantto work with.
That's so cool.
And thank you for reaching out.
And it worked out because we metand then in classic A DHD form.
I don't think I reached back outfor another three weeks or so.
Then I was like, let's do this.
Let's make it happen.
Honestly, it's been so helpfulbecause I think in so much of
our lives, as a professionalorganizer, I'm good at the
(05:48):
physical stuff and I'm good atexplaining that through and
helping you make decisions.
But when it comes to managingthis business, this is a whole
nother level.
And now I not only have to be anexpert at finances, which you
know,'cause you're running yourown business too.
Mm-hmm.
You have to be an expertmarketer and then you have to be
an expert at, customer serviceand speaking to people.
(06:08):
And there's so much that goesinto it.
And hiring you has been one ofthe best things I could have
ever done for myself becauseyou've removed some of the
barriers to getting stuff doneand helped me with your
expertise and some of the thingsthat I'm just not an expert at,
which has been fascinating.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour business.
(06:30):
What do you do and.
How do you show up in thisworld?
Yeah.
my business mind, your queerbusiness was born at a really,
just such a raw, weird time inmy life, of being a new parent
and, newly diagnosed and justhad a lot of personal
(06:50):
intersecting.
Big catalyst happening.
and it was born because I, ifyou look at my resume, like it
was very clear I had a DHD, it'svery clear.
I didn't know.
But I have all these interestingjobs and I can wear many hats
and I love working for smallbusinesses and love working for
CEOs and love just getting inthere and being the right hand,
(07:11):
to my detriment.
I had this really robustskillset, like pretty, pretty
crazy when it comes to doingthis, more admin stuff to some
more design stuff.
And I've always been a creative,I've always, it's just it me to
make art.
I wouldn't necessarily callmyself an artist, but I'm an
idea person and I think that'swhy, i've worked the jobs that I
(07:34):
have worked and been able topivot and go for jobs that I'm
not quite qualified for, butthen like crush it, the A DHD,
but the longevity in that is, isnot, it's not viable for me.
And I just kept feeling myboundaries, just getting pulled
out so much.
And ultimately I was like, well,what if I take all these skills
(07:55):
and use them in a way that feelsaligned with my own values and
aligned with the time I canspend on it?
And just see what happens.
And it started off with mostlyadmin and automations and behind
the scenes stuff.
And as my business has grown,you've really helped me with
(08:17):
this.
I've started to just see, someof my other skill sets that I
know have been underutilizedwith branding, and with design
and with, certain otherofferings that I'm really trying
to bring forth in my business.
that's been the evolution to nowand it's still unfolding because
that is the beauty of havingyour own, business, right?
It's never finished I've finallycome to terms with like, oh,
(08:39):
it's always going to beevolving.
Forever.
Yeah.
I'm gonna relate this back toorganizing'cause I think you
make such a good point.
I was even talking to a newbusiness owner this morning.
There's like eight thoughts atonce, but I was talking to a new
business owner this morning andI was telling her how, when I
first started my business I waslike, I will be the.
(09:01):
Exception to the rule, I'm gonnabe so successful my first year.
It's gonna be amazing.
And yes, I launched the podcast.
It was incredible.
And I grew, but also there wereso many things I had to learn
along the way that I wouldn'thave possibly been able to learn
overnight.
Not only about myself, but.
But about the business and trulywhat I wanted to do and my niche
(09:24):
and who I was talking to.
I bring that back to organizingbecause it's so important to
start.
It doesn't matter where youstart, but as long as you're
starting and you're takingaction, that's what matters.
When I first started workingwith you, I was talking to you
about my brand and I had, one ofmy friends, an incredible
graphic designer, helped me puttogether my original package.
(09:45):
I was mindful moves organizingwith megs, and then I had this
really cool circle that I stillhave.
Mm-hmm.
And then I had these really coollike succulent designs, but I
had a really muted colorpalette.
And it felt right at the timebecause as I was looking into
organizing, everything around meand everything I had researched
was like, oh, it needs to becalm.
(10:06):
It needs to be subtle.
It just needs to be, a reallychill vibe.
But as we continued to work witheach other, I was like, I know
it kind of like orange.
Like let's, what if we saidorange here?
and then I had teal in one of mycolors.
So you were like, you saidorange.
Here's some ideas for you.
Which got my brain a little bitmore wrapped around the idea of
(10:29):
change.
But it didn't happen overnight.
It was, I said something, youtook action on it.
Which bridged This gap of thisbarrier I had because I knew
that changing my branding and mycolors I wanted it to happen
overnight, but it felt like thishuge project, right?
It just gradually happened overtime and now I am just
(10:51):
organizing an A DHD brain.
There's teal and there's orange,and there's pinks, and it's
bright and it makes my brainhappy.
And for me it's very calmingbecause dopamine is calming for
me, right?
I see these colors and theybring me so much joy.
So you allow that to happen forme, but it wouldn't have
(11:12):
happened if I didn't have thatadditional support.
That kind of just like flippedyour nudge in the direction of
what I said I wanted anyway.
that's why I love branding workso much because when we are.
In the thick of our business.
It is so personal.
We are right there.
Like we can't see, the forestfor the trees or whatever that
(11:35):
saying is like, we're right.
We're up against it.
So everything just feels like atany moment you can make the
wrong decision and everythingcould just be done.
Like it's so, it's the stakesfeel so high when it's our own
brand.
And what I love to do,especially when I'm so
passionate about what anentrepreneur does, which is
(11:55):
again, like why I work withpeople that I really wanna work
with, is that I see them, right?
I see you.
I feel this.
Potential with these colors.
And you had some reallywonderful, professional photos
that had been taken, but I couldtell you weren't quite ready for
just, we didn't know each otheryet.
(12:15):
and I just was like, oh, this iswho me is.
I'm not someone who's gonna belike, okay, here.
This is who you're gonna be.
I'm just an amplifier, you'realready who you are and my job
is just to pump up the volume.
I think people get it wrong alot of the time when they come
to people for brand help andsay, okay, I have no idea who I
am.
(12:36):
Tell me who I am.
I feel like that's just like arecipe for, rebranding, a year
down the road.
And so I love that it was suchan organic and such a flow of a
process, for you and for me.
And really, like for anyonethat's doing branding, the.
Biggest piece of advice I cangive you is to trust your
instincts over any trend, overany website that you kind of
(13:00):
like, trust your instincts.
If you wanted to do something,but maybe somebody else is doing
it, it doesn't matter.
Like yours is gonna bedifferent, I promise.
that's what I've learned workingwith branding specifically.
'cause it's so personal.
when I first went into thatphoto session, it was with a
friend of mine and she, oh mygosh, she's such a great
photographer in the ColoradoSprings area.
(13:22):
Lafe photography, if you're inthis area.
She's been taking our photoslike my whole.
Actually since I met Adam, weactually met working at the
brewery with her and she tookphotos of us before we even got
engaged, which I remember, andthey're kind of embarrassing.
I hope she has them somewhere.
But I went into this session andshe's like, oh, what are your
(13:42):
brand colors?
And I was like, I don't knowwhat you're saying.
I had brought orange pants withme.
I had an orange blazer.
I had a pink tank top.
And she's like, wow, these aresome bright colors.
And that was exactly who I was.
But of course I chose theseother muted tones because I
think I was trying to fit in tosomething that I thought I was
(14:05):
supposed to be.
But it's been really cool tohave these really bright colored
photos that we've establishedthis like real brand of mind out
of itself.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
That, and I think the tips thatyou offer and like how you
approach organizing, for, youknow, neurodiverse people, it is
more colorful, right?
(14:25):
I feel like I've learned so muchabout just.
Being at peace with the messymiddle.
'cause I'm for sure in the messymiddle.
Which is why I love the benefitsof working with you, is that I
get to enjoy the community andget to, you know, just be a part
of it.
Yeah, no, that's, I appreciateyou saying that too, because,
coming back to the journey ofbuilding a business, the journey
(14:47):
of organizing is the same.
There's no sprint that you'retrying to reach the end of,
right?
Mm-hmm.
This is a marathon, and even onthat marathon, there's no end
point.
You're not gonna cross thefinish line one day and be like,
I did it.
We're gonna be like, and this ishow I experienced it.
I like earlier this year, evenlast year, I was like, oh, I
(15:09):
have a lot less stuff.
I've really come so far I'mcurious, as you started
exploring your own A DHDdiagnosis and listening to
podcasts, what do you think isthe most valuable?
Piece of information that you'velearned about yourself over this
last year or even six monthsthat you could share with
(15:31):
everyone?
I think for me, there was thisweird, like permission, that had
been like gifted to me somehowto just be myself, and.
There was this moment ofrealizing, when you have a DHD,
like you're a heavy masker, youhave this mask on and you're
just, you're performing so muchof the time.
(15:51):
And I was so fused to my facethat I didn't even realize I had
it on for decades.
And all of a sudden you don'thave a mask on anymore, but you
also have the option to put somedifferent masks on and to really
just play around with thedifferent versions of you that
show up on any given day.
so just being myself, likereally being myself.
(16:14):
And it's crazy that it feelslike it's taken me, I mean, I'll
be 39 in July and I feel likeit's just taken me so long to
get to a point where I'm like,oh, I can wear whatever I want
and I can structure thisbusiness however I want and I
can, decide how much of my innersaboteur I'm gonna let in today.
(16:35):
I just feel like I have a lotmore agency over myself, as
someone who is more newlydiagnosed than I ever did
before.
That's so cool.
We're discovering'cause I'mgonna be 39 in June.
Holy smokes.
I literally said to Adam lastnight, I'm like, we're gonna be
40 next year.
I don't think I knew we were thesame.
(16:56):
Are you a, Gemini?
Yeah.
So what are, are you a Pisces?
No.
Cancer.
Cancer, okay.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I don't know a ton about thesigns, but, people send me
things about them and I'm like,thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
That's so funny that we're thesame age.
I had no idea.
our version of that, we have tokeep it to business, which is
also very like looselystructured.
I don't know how tall you are.
(17:17):
I don't know.
There's just so many things thatI don't know about you.
so how are you to learn?
I'm five one.
What?
Oh my god.
Yeah.
I have a, I have a bigpersonality.
Yeah.
But I am five, one and a half.
I'm five, seven and a half,that's so interesting.
That is fun to know.
'cause when you do meet peoplein person and then you're like,
(17:38):
whoa, I didn't even realize theheight like it, it doesn't make
a difference, obviously.
But it is interesting in my mindI'm like, well what if you're
six foot?
It just would be funny, yeah.
Okay.
So in your business, now thatyou have a DHD, what have you
learned about organizing in yourown life?
From being in my world andunderstanding your brain a
little bit more?
(17:58):
I think like starting small,these manageable bites of
organizing.
And part of that too is justhaving tools as someone who has
a DHD now, like I'm, I chosemedication and I love
medication.
and so I do feel like for thefirst time ever I'm able to bite
off just enough, to really feellike I have accomplished
(18:21):
something.
Without just pulling everythingout and then just crashing,
which is very on brand for me.
so I feel like I've learned tojust be a little more realistic
about what you can do in a dayand starting with something
small for sure.
Yeah.
Those are like the big things.
And putting things where youwould look for them.
(18:43):
Yeah, that's a big one for me.
Like clear bins.
Like it would have been socounterintuitive a couple years
ago to put anything in a clearbin, like cringe.
but now so much of my stufflives, where I can easily see
it.
Like if I pull it out, I can 360view of it's somewhere in this
bin.
when I first started thisjourney, I was kind of against
labels.
(19:04):
I was like, Ugh, I don't feellike putting a label on
everything.
We don't need labels.
And then after realizing howmuch inventory we have in our
own damn homes, if you don't puta label on it, you're never
going to be able to figure outwhere it goes.
And it's funny'cause I had aclient, actually my friend, who
is the graphic designer, she waslike, I don't really wanna do
labels.
And I was like, you have so manymediums that you're working
(19:27):
with.
I encourage you to do at leastsome labels.
Let's do some and then let'smove to the next step.
I feel like for me too, like ifyou have a spouse that you want
to stay married to, you alsoprobably want labels.
just because I know, my versionof.
What goes together and the whybehind it.
You'd have to be real psychic tofigure out my system sometimes.
(19:50):
So either working together withmy wife on does this make sense
for us?
or like really good labels orelse it's like they can't find
the, arts and crafts stuff forRex.
And that's frustrating when I'mtrying to work and it's
frustrating for everyone.
So I'm a label personpersonally.
Yeah.
But not an over labeler.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's a happy medium.
(20:11):
We just, we're sellingeverything, right?
And so we have, in our laundryroom, we have a big sign that
says laundry in the room.
And I put on Facebookmarketplace.
I'm like, do you ever findyourself not knowing what room
you're in?
Or even what to do in that room.
Well, you're in luck because Ihave a sign for you.
So we sold it this morning and Iput it outside and I was like,
(20:33):
Aw, I looked at the ceiling.
'cause like things are changingand Adam's like, do you not know
where you are right now?
But I'm like, I don't, I dunnowhere It's fun to make fun of
it, right?
But labels are so helpful andwhy we label our rooms with
these big signs.
I don't know.
Not everyone needs to do it, butI thought it was pretty
hilarious.
I feel like year two of beingtogether with my wife, we've
(20:56):
been together almost 11 yearsnow.
I was gifted a label maker, sothat should tell you something
about my personality with likegold tape.
It was like a gold tape.
Refills, label maker.
So that pretty much sums me up,right?
It's very telling of mypersonality., Even back then.
So how do you stay organized inyour business?
(21:16):
You've grown from when I firstmet you and now you're doing so
much more.
How do you stay organized andcoordinated?
'cause it's different than thephysical space.
While there's a lot that's verysimilar at the same time.
I would say I'm not necessarilyin a, in the best flow of okay,
I have my systems, they'reworking for me.
but in the short term, thebiggest thing that I've learned
(21:38):
is that, everyone's gonna try tothrow a tool at you that's gonna
help and say, oh, try thisthing, try this thing.
This is what I use.
My inclination to someone with ADHD is to be like, yes, fix it,
please.
I don't wanna have to worryabout it.
but usually i'll use the toolfor a little bit, I will stop
using it, and then I have tofigure out another solution.
So I've just started building myown solutions.
(22:00):
Even if it's something as simpleas like a Google sheet with
some, fancy formatting.
Just something that I know, it'slike the idea, if I've built it,
I understand it.
Yeah, I will use it.
So some of these platforms andCRMs and, kind of project
management tools, they have apretty high barrier to entry if
(22:21):
you wanna actually use them in away that's gonna make less work
for you.
For me right now, just having myown little systems that I'm
building seems to be, helpingwith just getting some clarity
for what I do, for who and how Istructure it.
What are the terms and just thestuff that, I wish I didn't have
to worry about it.
(22:42):
But it's important movingforward, to just have some more
consistency.
And I'm sure you understandthis.
Yeah.
and I love what you said aboutthe tool.
There's so many tools out there,like a planner.
The infamous planner, we allwant them.
Plus they're beautiful, and thenthey have this promise of
perfect organization, and that'swhat we're seeking.
(23:04):
We're seeking this perfection,but someone else has designed
it, which means that now we'retrying to fit in their box of
what's expected of us.
So if I buy a planner that has ahabit tracker and I'm not used
to tracking my habits and now Ihaven't done it, that's a
failure to me.
Like my perceived failure.
Yeah.
Now it hasn't been filled out,so now I feel like I'm not
(23:25):
accomplishing what the plannerhas put forth for me.
Agreed.
But you hit the nail on the headis when you start to understand
what you do and start outsimpler, you get to build upon
what you're doing and theneventually you can seek out some
of these other platforms as asolution to what you're already
(23:47):
doing.
But I agree, I don't think thatyou should start there.
One of my clients sent me avideo of one of those skylight
calendars.
Have you seen those?
Yeah.
It's got like a picture flow.
There's a calendar.
There's like a meal plan.
There's all kinds of really coolthings on there.
I also have one, and I set it uponce.
I spent a little bit of time onit.
(24:07):
We have a chore chart on it.
We used it about half the year,and now we just use it as
pictures.
They're just going back andforth, and my client who
messaged me, she's like, Ibought one of these and I never
use it.
And I'm like, okay.
I think in the community.
I'd love to have a month wherewe talk about, let's get out the
stuff that we bought but neverused and see if it could
(24:29):
actually help us in our life.
what could it add to our livesinstead of having to reinvent
the wheel.
I think that that's a greatidea.
'cause I know that I have thingslike that that I'm not
optimizing.
This thing was supposed to makesomething else easier, but it
felt hard at the time, but maybeit won't feel as hard right now.
Or maybe I'm in a differentplace to have more space.
(24:49):
Right.
More bandwidth to tackle it.
I use, for budgeting.
You need a budget.
I love, Me too.
They're such a cool company.
I'm a fan.
They're a really cool company.
I used to get alerts when I wasjob hunting for when jobs would
open up and I'm like, I love,yeah.
They were on a couple podcaststhat I used to listen to and I
like the way that they giveevery dollar a job.
(25:10):
So that was a good example forme is I tried to use it once and
it's cool'cause they have a freetrial where you don't have to
put your credit card informationin, which is top notch.
But when I first started, Isynced everything.
I put every account I had inthere, every credit card.
Then I even included investmentsor like my mortgage, everything.
(25:32):
Mm-hmm.
And I got so overwhelmed and itfelt like.
Too much to handle that I ranaway, and it wasn't until a year
later that I heard about themagain.
Mm-hmm.
And I was like, what if I tookthe time to enter things
manually and just kept it to thesimplest form of the ins and
(25:52):
outs of my checking account.
And then I could add a littlebit over time and I have now
been a dedicated user for yearsbecause that's like what we need
to remember with the tools andwe're not consistent, like
consistency is not in our book,which is okay.
Because it's about continuity.
It's about coming back to thethings that we know have worked
(26:13):
for us in the past and makingthem work for us again, but
maybe in a new and improved kindof way because we're looking at
it from a different lens in adifferent perspective.
Yeah, and I know personally, ifmy brain has been given that
challenge to figure the thingout and I'm up for it.
I'm gonna retain that,information better.
I'm gonna use it the way it'ssupposed to be used in a way
(26:34):
that will work for me.
and if I am, reaching for a toolfor a quick fix, it's probably
not gonna be a good fit.
But if I'm reaching for a toolbecause I wanna learn, it's
probably gonna be a better fit.
And so I really try to payattention to which is it Am I
just overwhelmed in themreaching or am I, grounded and
like looking to level up?
Interesting.
(26:54):
I love that.
Take that away.
Everyone that's delicious.
Tell me, we started thecommunity in the beginning of
the year and now we've moved toa new platform, which has been
top notch aside.
from a great platform me notbeing able to figure out how to
send a link to people to signup.
I'll get there.
However, what do you think hasbeen the biggest difference or
(27:16):
something that you've noticedjust being a part of community
that is also trying to getorganized?
Yeah.
I mean I love just having aplace to go that is not
Instagram or the news I lovestarting to wire my brain to
click that app instead.
and then I get to just like.
Around energy of like-mindedpeople who are, all kind of in
(27:40):
their own organizing journey.
who all have a DHD there's thisit's like a quiet support right
now.
'cause the group's growing, andI still just go there and
sometimes it's like, ah, I waseven rereading people's, intros
to, I have a DHD I'm gonnaforget even the people that are
in there.
I was just like rereading,learning again about people that
are in there.
(28:00):
'cause I am interested in whatpeople are doing and wanna be
supportive and wanna know wherepeople are in their journey.
So that engagement is what getsme the most excited.
It felt like it, left some weirdbox that it was in and it feels
like it, went out into theworld.
Leaving Wix and going to circle,it feels like it's got a lot
more to offer.
I agree.
And I, I just started, so whenyou join, you get a free
(28:22):
coaching, a one-on-one with me,which we should totally do, we
should do for you and I, talkingabout like your organizing
journey.
'cause I'd love to ask you somequestions.
I feel like I'm always avoidingthat with you.
let's do it.
So you get a free one-on-one 30minute call and.
It's been really powerfulbecause, and I work one-on-one
(28:42):
with people, and so I reallydive into their worlds.
And in a perfect world, I wouldhave the time to truly dive into
everyone's life, but that's notthe case.
But I was talking to a woman theother day about just not knowing
where to start.
And so I've been thinking aboutthat a ton because one of my
clients said that the other daytoo, and we're just so nervous
(29:04):
about being right and startingin the perfect place.
Where, when it comes down to it,it's about starting and part of
starting is simply just makingthe decision that you don't
wanna live the way that you'reliving anymore.
Like for me, I had no idea whatto ask for from you, which is
why it took me from having theconversation with you to see
(29:25):
what you did.
To finally saying, I'm ready,but I still don't know what to
ask for from you.
And even sometimes now I stilldon't know what to ask for from
you, but we're learning andwe're growing.
And the point is, is that whenyou start taking action in the
direction of where you wanna go,you start to truly understand
(29:46):
what's next.
And I was thinking about it thismorning, do you think that
anyone regrets?
Starting where they did.
When I think about it, I don'teven remember where I started or
it being wrong or right.
I just did it.
I think in the moment I didn'tknow where to start.
But like when I finally did it,I don't, I would never go back
(30:07):
and not start because I feellike I needed to start in a
different place.
I know.
I had taken some time off aftermy son was born.
We made a conscious decision todo that.
and I knew that I wanted to pickup a little bit of work, but I
didn't know how, and I just feltreally overwhelmed with it.
And some acquaintances of minethat are now really good friends
(30:28):
were like, can you help withthis?
We just, we know that you can dothis.
Please help.
And I was I don't.
Know if I'm ready to jump backinto whatever, because I was so
burnt out on whatever washappening years prior.
And I remember just being like,I just have to start, I just
have to see what it feels liketo not work for a company, just
(30:49):
see how it feels to help themout.
And I remember talking to mywife and saying.
I could probably have moreclients wouldn't that be cool if
I could cover our overhead?
I think I would probably go wildif I could cover our overhead.
Yeah.
that would be so cool.
But in my mind being like, thatfeels so far away.
And then fast forward, gettingto that point.
(31:11):
I'm not even celebrating it.
No, I absolutely love that.
'cause look at where you arenow.
I'm so grateful to be on thisjourney with you because it's so
cool to see you grow and eventhe women that I started this
podcast journey with to seewhere they were and where they
are now.
And yeah, the point is to startand to build on it.
(31:32):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And there's a power that it'slike, it can feel really tough
to have a late in lifediagnosis.
I had so much grief around likewho I could have been and all
these versions of myself that Icould have done anything, right?
I could have done anything.
Once I move through that and Istill feel it, but as I'm moving
through it, I'm just like, whoa.
I get to do anything.
(31:53):
Yeah.
it's pretty cool that like youcan start and that's that
permission that I'm talkingabout, right?
yes.
Where I don't know if I wouldgive myself this permission if I
were, neurotypical.
Yeah, like, I don't know, likewhat would be happening with the
chemicals in my brain.
Which is why I think we makegreat entrepreneurs.
(32:13):
you and I are pretty open abouttalking about our therapy
journey too, is just coping withthe growth through a lot of this
instead of asking what if we nowsay what now?
Mm-hmm.
Because it is very easy to lookback.
I actually just recently threwaway some of my journals from
when I was in high school.
'cause I read them, I reflectedon it and I'm like, okay, I
(32:34):
think I'm ready to let these gonow because.
It reminded me so much of who Iwas and how much of that person
I'm not anymore.
Yeah.
But also being able to imagineme giving her a hug because she
would be so proud of the woman Iam today.
These like little versions of usthat show up as we get older.
(32:55):
Are so powerful, especially likewhen we let them come forth and
then tend to them a little bit,and give them that hug that they
need.
And just even sometimes anapology like, oh man, we weren't
so nice to ourselves.
In that moment.
Right.
it's so powerful that, thatlittle work that we can do with
our empowered self to all ofthese little selves.
(33:16):
And I'm not even talking aboutmy kid self, I'm talking about
like myself four years ago.
Mm-hmm.
seeing that person being like,oh man, I wasn't being kind
enough to myself and I can seethat version feeling so sad
about that, Yeah, I never feltlike I was enough and I
constantly, I think what'sreally powerful for me nowadays
(33:37):
is that I was constantly showingup for other people and I felt
like when I let them down orperceived to have let them down
and maybe they beat me upbecause of it, I would try to
show up more to reconcile and todo more so that I would get
approval.
So to show up for myself in thisway has been a really powerful
(34:00):
transition.
I'm still learning this is agrowth journey.
And again, I don't think there'san end point, right?
Yeah.
But I do think that the more Ispeak about the way that my
brain works and the more Iunderstand it, I grow.
And one thing I realized morerecently is, sometimes I put
myself down because I.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I coachpeople on this and I can't even
(34:24):
manage it myself.
And so here I am shaming myselfbecause I'm not perfect.
But truthfully, I'm coachingwomen and men.
I'm coaching people andaccepting themselves for who
they are.
And then sometimes I'm shamingmyself.
And so that's something I'veactually really come to in the
last couple months too, is.
and yesterday I should like sayit's freaking okay that I also
(34:48):
have a DHD.
And I'm still teaching peoplehow to understand their brains.
And it's okay that I have acoach.
It's okay that I have peoplesaying kind and beautiful,
supportive words to me.
I feel like we talked about thisnot even that long ago maybe it
was even just like a quick textof like.
I'm not buying what anyone'sselling if they haven't
(35:09):
struggled.
If I can't tell that, like theyhaven't had a journey.
it's probably not gonna alignwith the reality of struggle,
right?
With the reality that there arestruggles that come.
With having a DHD with manythings in life.
And if I look to you and I lookto your brand and I see, this
perceived perfection, there'snothing that's gonna resonate.
(35:33):
For me.
And that's my, my brand is don'texpect perfection.
Like this is the weird stuffover here.
But I'm leaning into that,right?
and that's who I wanna surroundmyself with is the people who,
get it wrong.
And then do it anyway.
Right?
And just grow.
I wanna see people grow.
I wanna see my mentors and mycoaches, and I wanna see them
all grow.
I don't wanna think they'refully realized.
(35:55):
yeah, because that's no fun.
I said to my boss in thecorporate world one time, I was
like, can you tell me about atime that you failed?
And then you learned from it.
And he looked at me like I wasinsane.
And I was like, no, seriously.
I wanna know about yourfailures.
And how grew to the person thatyou are now?
'cause I recognized that in himthat he was successful and he
(36:18):
was doing some great things.
He couldn't answer me.
I don't even remember hisresponse.
I just remember the feeling inthat moment and how insecure I
think it made him feel.
But what's fascinating, is thatyou don't learn from your
successes.
You learn from your failures.
That's the only thing that'steaching you anything.
(36:41):
There's some podcasts out there.
I don't know which one, butthere's an episode called like
Failing Forward.
Like falling forward, like youfall in your face, but really
you do get somewhere, right?
You get a little bit ahead, andyou learn so much and you feel
the feeling of disappointment orwhat didn't work or what needs
to change.
You really learn how to feel it.
Then you get back up and you doit again.
(37:03):
Yeah.
I mean, and it hurts like thefailure does.
It's terrible.
Like mentally it's terrible.
Squish you, it's awful, but thenyou grow from it.
And I think once youcontinuously do it, you continue
to take action and then you seewhere you fail and you start to
succeed.
The mental anguish of it, thehard part of the actual feelings
of it, it gets easier.
(37:24):
Not in that it doesn't feel thesame, but you recognize that
feeling as growth.
You start to look at it andyou're like, oh, I'm growing
Maybe a little sarcastically atfirst.
Yeah.
But then.
You can say, oh, this is onlygonna last for about a day or
two, and then I get to seewhat's on the other side that
I'm growing from and learningfrom and understanding about
(37:46):
myself.
But you don't get there unlessyou start.
The action is what gets you tothe successes and the failures.
So many of us are so nervousabout failing that we don't
start.
I love future thinking,obviously manifestation and
things like that, and my friendCrystal, who owns a yoga studio
down the road from me.
(38:06):
She was talking about how she'salways wanted to open this yoga
studio.
It's never been the right time,but she had a friend who had
passed away from cancer and shehad always wanted to open a yoga
studio.
This friend who had passed away.
So she's like, I'm not gonna letthat be me.
I'm not gonna not do somethingand let it be too late.
(38:28):
And so she did it, and I thinkthat's really what, you know as
far as a DHD goes.
There's so much that can beinhibiting.
And then when you start torealize that you have control
over so much of what you decideto do in this world, just by
taking a tiny action instead oftrying to conquer the world in a
day, which we want.
(38:49):
Which really comes from adysregulated state.
It's that fight or flight typeof situation.
But when you start to take thesetiny actions, you see how far it
can lead you.
Absolutely.
we don't talk about it much.
I feel like I've had my ownlittle evolution with it.
I love that.
but you recently did a room swapwhere mm-hmm.
(39:10):
We're in one room and you werein Rex's room where he plays.
Mm-hmm.
And then you decided to swaprooms, which is where you're at
right now.
Mm-hmm.
But when I asked you, I waslike, well, what's the vision in
each room?
Have you thought about what youtruly want each room to be?
And you were like, oh.
So how did that change the waythat you went about that?
(39:31):
Just kind of knowing what youwanted, or did you put more
thought into what you wanted atthe end of it?
So before we even started, afterwe'd had that conversation, I.
Sat down with Jen and I waslike, let's talk about this.
Which is so different than likethe logistics of actually
navigating a room switch.
Um, and I think just right offthe jump, it just helped to like
(39:53):
regulate us both to just thinkabout a feeling instead of, all
the work that was gonna have tohappen, which was just kind of
creating this tension.
Uh, so we did, we thought aboutit, like what we wanted to be
and what we didn't want it tobe, and.
it was a really helpful exercisein making sure that this space,
which is now like my office isin here, we call it the den now.
(40:15):
now the whole old living room ishis playroom, and it's still
unfolding.
We're still figuring out whatthat looks like.
But now this is the adult room.
there's like a tiny toddlerchair over there, but that's it,
it's so nice to just have aspace that after he goes to bed,
we come in here and we just feellike we're not gonna step on a
Lego.
That's so nice.
And that was the intention, alot of people, when I ask them
(40:37):
that question, they're like, Ihave no idea what I want.
I just don't want this.
And it's like, okay, you don'twant this.
That's the start, but now whatdo you want?
We just expect life to happen tous.
Like one day I'll figure it out.
I should know how to organize,so I might as well, one day do
it.
And it's the difference betweenjust surviving, right?
A room swap and then likethriving in a room swap, right?
(40:57):
even just thinking a little moreabout what you want, it feels
like such a luxury when you're aparent.
Like, what do I want?
Just checking in with that Ithink was really good for us.
Tell us a little bit about yourpassion projects right now.
What are you doing aside from,building websites and being
creative and helping?
Seemingly organized A DHDentrepreneurs build their dreams
(41:19):
too.
this whole idea of leaning intowho I authentically am and just
being myself, I'm trying tofigure out how can I fit the
rest of me, which doesn't eveninvolve the websites into my
brand.
And really the biggest way is.
This blog that I am going to belaunching soon and hopefully
whenever, I don't know how longepisodes take to, to do all the
(41:42):
things to come out, but I'mgonna set it up, for the first
kind of blog to release in thenext couple of days.
And it's free, but, the blog isdeeply personal and, it's called
Mind Your Queer Mama.
So it's a take on my business,but really the intersection of
motherhood and entrepreneurshipand a DHD and there's no way to
(42:02):
just tear'em apart.
They will always exist together.
so it's a little bit, I wouldn'tsay it's tips and tricks, but
there might be some like littlenuggets in there, of wisdom.
so that's one thing I'm workingon.
Then I'm also just really tryingto Expand some of my offerings
for, I call themEntrepre-not-sures for folks who
(42:25):
are like maybe right on the edgeand aren't ready for a website,
they don't even know exactlywhat.
But they know that they're tiredof, of doing the nine to five
thing.
I wouldn't call it businesscoaching, it's not that.
but really I just, it's just tohelp with a little bit of self
clarity.
I'm doing a lot of work around,archetypes and doing some
(42:46):
archetype, readings forentrepreneur to help them see
which version of themselvesthey're stepping forward.
which mask are we, eitherputting on, taking off, which
one do we need to let go of?
And I think archetypes do areally wonderful job of helping
with pattern recognition and,just like a little more with
(43:07):
self-acceptance when we canunderstand and name this part
that's coming out right now.
first of all the nameEentrepre-not-sure.
Freaking brilliant.
I absolutely love that and Ilove what you're doing.
I love the blog.
I was talking to someone theother day.
if you're following me on myemail journey, I love writing, I
love speaking, I love,expressing myself.
(43:27):
This is such a beautiful way todo it, to, start to really
understand who you are and justby sharing your journey, whether
there's tips or tricks oranything, it's just about
knowing that you're not alone inthis journey.
When you and your wife areraising this beautiful,
incredible little boy, and youare not only an entrepreneur,
(43:47):
but you are an excellent mom.
Just the way that you prioritizebeing there for your son and.
helping him live his best lifeand just teaching him, you make
these incredible sensory boxesthat are like my side project.
It's so fun and you have acreative ability in so many
(44:08):
other ways than just what you'redoing.
And I think that so many of us,we've got these great ideas, but
you are taking action on so manyof these great ideas, and it's
so cool to see you blooming andblossoming into this version of
you that is you.
It's just you.
You're not showing up for anyoneelse, aside from, of course,
your wife and Rex, but you'reshowing up for you and truly
(44:31):
being yourself as you promoteyour business, and I love your
business name.
Because you're attracting whoyou want to work with, but you
also work with so manyheterosexual clients.
Yeah.
I feel like most of my clientsright now are, are very
heterosexual.
It's all about being a reallyintentional and fierce ally.
I work with all kinds of people,just don't be a jerk.
(44:53):
If there's one thing I've neverhad, any shame over it is being
queer.
I came out really early.
there was no weird oh, likereligion or there was just, I
never had anything to lose bybeing out.
Yeah.
Thankfully it's a privilege tosay that.
So I'm happy to put it on my,the name of my business.
Especially if it deters people,from clicking, let's connect.
(45:16):
It helps, it really does, tojust thin things out a little
bit.
But I work with everybody, Justno jerks.
Yeah.
No hate.
No hate, just like really,well-intentioned, aligned folks.
I love that.
That's really cool.
All right.
We're gonna drop all of yourcontact information in the show
notes below.
(45:37):
Is there anything else you'dlike to share?
You know, it's been such a.
Pleasure and such a journey tojust be, I call it, in my
business, I call it co-creating.
Like when I work with clients,we co-create.
It's not like a here, let me dothis for you.
It's always this collaborationand working together.
And I do feel like we have areally, really good connection
(46:02):
and it's more rare than youthink to find someone who is
like that, who can just begenuine like I want you to do.
Well, you think they would justbe all around, but it's, it's
not.
so I appreciate you so much.
I want you do.
And, I'm excited to see howthings continue to grow.
And y'all, if you're not oncircle yet, like if you have it,
(46:24):
find the thing.
you gotta just try it out andjust be part of the little fun
party.
there's memes.
Come join.
Yeah.
Come to our party.
Don't scroll on Instagram.
come do something better.
thanks for joining us.
This was such a funconversation.
My love.
I can't wait.
So fun.
Let people see what we do.
We do this every week.
We just sit here and we talkabout, we usually have some
(46:46):
filters on because we have tokeep it to business.
But this has been so lovely andI can't wait till you're back on
the east coast.
We're gonna have a hangoutsometime.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
I had so much fun recording thisepisode with Amanda, and there
were a couple things that I tookaway that I wanted to share with
you.
And remember, as any episodegoes, taking one thing away is
okay.
(47:06):
It's okay that you'd never comeback to this episode.
Even if there was something thatyou really wanted to hear, you
will continue to seek theinformation that you want and
you'll continue to take away newthings.
One thing I really loved abouther discovery and her A DHD
diagnosis was just permission tobe herself.
That she didn't have to conformto what other people or what she
thought other people needed herto be.
(47:28):
She was allowed to just show upas herself.
And I think a lot of us, if weare people pleasers in any way,
are continuing to learn thatthat is okay, that it's okay to
start small.
That actually the smaller youstart, the easier it is.
The teeny, tiniest action in thedirection of you being more
organized is huge.
(47:49):
That can be as simple as goingto your spice cabinet and
throwing out an old spice thatis expired, and what a great
excuse to get one thing outtathe spice cupboard.
We also had a really awesomeconversation about tools and
this month in the membershipwe're talking about tools and it
has been so fun.
So first I wanna highlight whatAmanda said.
(48:10):
She talks about how when she'sseeking a tool for a quick fix,
it's not gonna work.
But when she's seeking a tool tolearn, that's when she knows
it's gonna be a good fit.
Part of this is we're lookingfor something to do in the
moment and it's like thatdopamine hit, that impulsivity
that comes up.
That's often something thatcorrelates with A DHD.
(48:33):
But on the other side, if we'remaking a conscious decision on
what we wanna do next and weknow what's gonna fit into our
lives and we're looking to learnmore, that's where we know it's
gonna help us.
And then this month, becausewe've been working on this in
the community and I'm cleaningout everything, I found my old
Fitbit and I decided to chargeit up and I put it on my wrist.
(48:55):
I didn't like the way that itfelt, so I switched it to the
other side'cause that's what myhusband suggested.
And then I watched a video.
On how to use it, and I waswearing it wrong.
So now I've been using it forweeks because I watched a video
on how to use it.
Now there's still elements of itthat I'm not taking advantage
of, but I really like seeing howmuch movement I have during the
(49:15):
day.
It's keeping me very aware andmotivated to do more.
Also, we both love YNA, Icouldn't recommend it more.
And I put the link to it down inthe show notes below.
Another thing she mentionedabout organizing was just
surviving through it versusthriving through it.
And there are a lot ofdifferences that come up when it
comes to organizing.
We could survive through it byemptying a closet in a weekend
(49:38):
and try to put it back together,or we could thrive through it.
By understanding how we couldfit little, small, incremental
bites of organizing into our dayto make small changes throughout
time, because let's be honest,if you're doing it in a weekend,
it's not lasting.
Right.
There's a reason why you'relistening to this because you're
seeking more, and that is notthe way to do it.
(50:00):
I've done it.
I did it a lot, actually toomany times to count, and now I
have a podcast telling you notto do it.
You're still gonna do it,honestly, you are.
But the more you do that, butthen also start to do these
little bite size incrementalorganizing things, you'll start
to realize how beneficial it isto do smaller things.
(50:21):
This month in the community,like I said, we're talking about
tools.
Next month we are talking aboutdigital file clean out, and then
the following month We are gonnabe talking about planning
routines as school is up andcoming.
Oh my gosh, I can't believewe're only two months away,
which is so crazy.
on June 25th, 12:00 PM MountainStandard Time or 2:00 PM Eastern
(50:43):
Time, I'm going to be giving apresentation on tools that come
back from the graveyard and whywe handle tools, the way that we
do some different perspectiveson things, and kind of just
revisiting some of the toolsthat you've used before and if
they really have fit into yourlife or why they didn't.
So we have a really goodconversation about that coming
up if you're ready to join thecommunity.
(51:06):
Go to the show notes below,click on the link, join the
community, and sign up, andwe'll see you there.
The next event is this Saturdaywe have a body doubling
decluttering session we'redecluttering together, we're
getting rid of things, we'rehaving conversations about
letting go, and we're doing ittogether, which is a proven A
DHD technique.
The community closes at the endof June, So if you're ready to
(51:30):
join join now.
Otherwise, your next opportunitywon't be until the fall of 2025.
Don't forget to check in withyourself to ask how you're
doing, and I will see you nextweek.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.