July 28, 2025 • 50 mins
An executive function and ADHD coach for adults, Kate draws on over a decade of experience as an educator to help clients understand how they think, learn, and get things done. Her approach is strengths-based, collaborative, and infused with curiosity and compassion. She’s also passionate about community building and helping adults give themselves more grace in their struggles.
Connect with Kate: SAGE Collective
This episode introduces the concept of executive function coaching, featuring special guest Kate, an experienced executive function coach. The discussion covers the challenges individuals with ADHD face, particularly related to executive function, and how coaching can help overcome these barriers. The host and Kate share personal experiences and insights into the world of ADHD, emphasizing the importance of understanding one’s own needs and finding personalized solutions. Key topics include the role of executive function in daily life, the impact of sensory issues, and strategies for time management and reducing distractions. They also highlight the unique strengths of individuals with ADHD and the importance of building on these strengths for personal growth. The episode concludes with ways to connect with Kate and join her community for further support.
02:35 Meet Kate: Executive Function Coach
03:07 Kate's Journey and Background
09:00 Understanding Executive Function Coaching
10:23 Challenges and Misconceptions of ADHD
17:35 Tools and Strategies for ADHD Management
23:55 The Struggle to Implement Knowledge
24:40 Understanding Highly Sensitive People
27:38 Personal Experiences with Sensitivity
31:26 Music and Emotional Connection
35:38 Coaching and ADHD
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Looking for ADHD-friendly support with decluttering, organizing, or just making life feel a little less chaotic? The new Ways To Connect page is your go-to hub for real-life tools, gentle guidance, and ways to connect—free and paid, no pressure.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
I am really excited to introduceyou to the guest today.
Executive function coaching isnot something I even realized
was a thing, and that's trulywhat a DHD coaching is.
So many of the deficits that wedeal with on a regular basis
have to do with executivefunction.
(00:21):
'cause executive function isabout how we take action on so
many of the things or theinaction we're not taking.
In our lives on theorganization, on the little
things, the things that we knowwe wanna do, but all of these
other things are taking up spacein our lives.
As I've been reflecting thisweek it's been interesting'cause
(00:42):
we're going through thistransitionary period in our
lives.
We have left Colorado, we soldour home, and we are going to be
renting when we end up on theeast coast.
And right now we're renting aswe make our way there.
We are traveling with fouranimals, two kids.
It's me and my husband, andwe're trying to make the most of
(01:02):
our lives while also figuringout what's next.
My husband is job searchingright now and figuring out
what's next in his life.
I'm also laying the foundationand doing a lot of educational
work for my own coachingabilities and systems that I
wanna have in place for the nextthing.
What's coming up in the fall?
I'm super excited to share thatwith you when it's ready, but as
(01:26):
I'm taking my own advice, I'mreally sitting with the peace.
And starting to notice so manyof the things around me, and I'm
gonna be honest, at some points,I've really wanted to stop
talking about organizing so thatI can become a full on expert in
the bugs that I am seeing on aregular basis like milli ps and
(01:48):
spiders and oh my gosh, and Idon't want them around me, but
they're fascinating to look at.
Just fascinating.
And we've done a lot of Googlesearching on the habits of bugs,
and I didn't really realize thatwe would find so many snails.
We are in the woods.
We are in a forest right now,and we have found snails
(02:09):
everywhere.
We've also seen 10 bears so far,possibly the same bears, but
multiple times on this trip.
The last time I remember seeinga bear was when I was growing
up, probably about 20 years ago,and now we've seen them so
often.
I will tell you so much moreabout our journey and the
exploration.
We've done more when I launchedseason three this fall, but for
(02:33):
now, let's go ahead and jumpinto this episode.
i'm so excited to introduce youto my new friend Kate.
We met through another guestmelissa Snow, she is the
surrogate mom to my cat Teddy,who you guys have listened to
and all know.
but she is this incrediblenetworking queen and connected
myself and Kate.
And Kate is a executivefunctioning coach, which you
(02:56):
might be thinking, holy crap, Ididn't even know that this was a
thing.
And it freaking is.
And it's so amazing.
I'm so excited to interview hertoday and tell you all about
what she does.
Kate, tell us a little bit aboutyour journey into becoming an
executive functioning coach.
Sure.
Thank you so much for having me,and I love your enthusiasm.
(03:18):
so I'm Kate am the owner of sef.
Coaching, and I've been doingthis for just over two years
now, but my background is ineducation.
I have two education degrees.
I'm a licensed teacher.
I taught in the classroom for 13years, mostly high school
English and the last half of mycareer I worked in private
(03:41):
school for students withdiagnosed.
Attention issues and or learningdifferences.
We had only four students perclassroom, so I really got to
know those students.
And I worked with such adiversity of learning profiles
and I loved it.
A couple years ago I was goingthrough a lot of change in my
(04:02):
life.
separation, eventually adivorce, moving out, thinking I
was gonna move states.
And I was thinking about.
What else I could do with mybackground.
I ended up completing an A DHDcoach training program.
I opened my own business and Icoach mostly local clients here
(04:23):
in the triangle, North Carolina.
So Durham, Raleigh, chapel Hillarea.
and I use, my understanding ofthe process of learning my
knowledge of neurodiversity andmy training as coach to work
with adults.
That's incredible.
How cool.
Thank you.
I love it.
I love what I do.
I bet it's such a rewardingexperience.
(04:45):
And can you share with us if youhave a DHD?
Yeah, that's a reallyinteresting question.
So I, for a long time thought,oh no, not me.
Because of all of the reasonsthat I think women in particular
are denied a diagnosis, I.
(05:06):
Did well in school.
I loved school.
of course there were subjectsand classes that I struggled
with, but I didn't have a hardtime keeping up with homework.
got good grades and I haven'tstruggled to hold down a job.
Like I've heard so many peoplewith stories of oh, I to get a
diagnosis, but my doctor said,you work full time, I've told
(05:28):
myself all those stories too.
But the more I learn about folkswith A DHD and the more I learn
about the way, female presentingpeople mask a DHD symptoms, and
the more I learn about myclients and how things show up
for them, I think, you knowwhat?
(05:49):
I think that probably is true.
So I'm not diagnosed.
I was saying to you before westarted recording.
The highly sensitive personprofile definitely fits me.
that's of course not apsychological diagnosis, but
it's a profile that I reallyresonate with strongly and for
so long, that was how Iexplained the things about
(06:10):
myself, that didn't seem like,things other people did, but now
I'm starting to see myselfthrough a different kind of
lens.
Yeah.
That helps me relate to clients.
so often clients say somethingthat I think, wow, I have never
put that together before, butthat actually fits me too.
Oh, that's fascinating.
(06:30):
And I wanna, first, I just wannahighlight the fact that so many
of the people listening areeither late diagnosed, then
diagnosed their whole lives, orat least as a young child, or
they're in the middle.
They either don't know how toseek a diagnosis or they're like
getting close to it, but it'stoo expensive.
All those other things.
(06:51):
Yes.
Or just exploring what it meansto have a DHD and I.
I just wanna highlight that it'sokay to be wherever you need to
be in this journey.
Especially with social mediaright now, I've seen videos
coming up about this is whatreal A DHD is, and if you don't
have this, then you don't havereal A DHD.
(07:11):
And I was like, oh my gosh, allof us are trying to figure this
shit out and we don't needsomeone else coming in here and
telling us what we should andshouldn't think about ourselves
because right at the end of theday, it's so individualistic it.
pursue or avoid gettingdiagnoses for very individual,
(07:35):
unique reasons.
It's a long process.
It's an expensive process.
in some cases, having thediagnosis can make people feel a
little more limited.
But yeah, it's a frameworkthrough which you can understand
yourself, but it doesn't explaineverything about.
The layered and beautiful humanbeing that you are.
(07:56):
we all, I don't think the goalfor anybody should be to explain
everything about themselvesthrough any kind of diagnosis or
label because so much of what wedo and the way we think and move
through the world is just who weare, and it's helpful.
It can be helpful, again to havelike frameworks, archetypes,
(08:19):
templates.
It can't explain everythingabout who you are, and no one
person can explain the holisticview of somebody else.
So yeah, people having theaudacity to say oh, you don't do
fill in the blank.
You can't have adhd, especiallywhen it's medical and mental
(08:39):
health professionals who aredenying people their lived
experience, that's, that can bereally harmful.
And I see that in clients too.
Absolutely.
And that's so frustrating.
And so if you're listening tothis and you are struggling with
that, just want you to know thatyou're accepted here no matter
where you are on this journey.
Back to you.
(09:00):
Tell us what the heck isexecutive function coaching?
Yes.
I'm sighing a little bitbecause, just going behind the
scenes of marketing yourself asa coach.
Sometimes ends up being more ofa full-time job than coaching
itself.
I wish there was a succinct,clear way to explain what I do,
(09:21):
because I am an executivefunction coach.
That's the term for the types ofskills that I help people with.
But if you don't know what thatmeans, executive functioning
actually is the set of cognitiveskills that help us execute
functions.
So it's the skills that help usget things done in everyday
life.
we tend to talk about it inacademic and work context, but
(09:43):
it's so much more than that.
A metaphor that I've heard isit's like air traffic control
for your brain.
So in the same way that airtraffic control agents don't
actually mechanically fly andland the plane themselves, but
they set up the conditions sothat things happen in the right
order.
thinking a couple steps ahead,making a plan, setting
(10:06):
priorities, managing time,avoiding distractions, saying
this isn't.
Important right now.
I'll come back to that later.
It's all of those skills thathelp us set up the conditions so
that we can get things done ineveryday life.
Wow.
So why do people with A DHDstruggle with executive
(10:28):
function?
It's a really good question, andI also think it's important for
people to know you don't.
Either diagnosed or suspected tostruggle with executive
functioning.
and not all of my clients dohave a DH ADHD or even suspect
that they have a DH adhd.
But I would say the reason thathumans in general struggle with
(10:49):
executive functioning is becausewe have to continue that air
traffic control metaphor.
We have so much on our radar atall times.
And you were mentioning likepreparing for moving.
I mean there's so much that goeswith that life change that's on
your radar and in the backgroundall the time.
And so no matter who you are,you have a limited amount of
(11:15):
that cognitive energy per day touse.
And if you are sleep deprivedand anxious and.
Chronically stressed or dealingwith chronic pain, if you have
unresolved emotional conflictsthat are on your radar, all of
that stuff takes away from thatcognitive energy.
(11:39):
And there's a commonmisconception that if you have a
DHD, you don't have as muchattention, capacity as other
people do.
Which is not true.
It just means you struggle tocontrol where that attention
goes.
So for folks with A DHD, ifthey're already naturally
struggling to attend to things,to hold things in their working
(12:01):
memory, a lot of it is decisionfatigue too.
Trying to prioritize takes a lotof decision making energy, and
so just having your energy putin so many different places all
the time, of course, it's hardto manage your time and to set
priorities and to break a bigplan into steps.
(12:24):
No, that's huge.
I think when I first gotdiagnosed with A-D-H-D-I.
Just naturally thought, oh cool.
I just can't focus on things.
And I went through this denialperiod and I'm like, maybe I
don't have adhd.
And they were wrong.
And I've actually talked to somany other people and they're
like, I went through the samething.
It's just this weird thing whereyou don't even realize that you
(12:45):
are in denial and you think youjust know so much more.
But one thing I didn't realizewere how many.
Aspects of A-D-H-D-I didn'tunderstand, I just thought that
A DHD meant oh, hyperactive, buthow does that relate to me?
And when it comes to executivefunction, I have this all or
(13:05):
nothing mentality, and I stilldo, I still have this all or
nothing mentality, but becauseI'm aware of my executive
dysfunction, I understand thatit's hard for me to go at
something.
And break it up into smallsteps.
But when I remember that, when Isay, oh, I want all or nothing,
(13:27):
but I know that there's certainthings that I have to do first.
Yes.
What's one thing I could doright now?
I love that it helps me break itdown into the smallest thing I
could possibly do.
Yes.
So like I know that's somethingthat we address in coaching.
For organizing, right?
When it comes to executivefunction coaching, what do
(13:48):
people typically reach out toyou for?
what is their struggle?
What are they trying to achieve,and what kind of transformations
do you help them achieve?
Yeah, that's a great question.
It's a great multi-part questionthat, yeah, you might have to
remind me of some of the laterparts.
It's interesting too, because.
People reach out to me for somany different reasons and it's
(14:09):
often what they think they wantto work on is not what we
actually end up working on.
Which is really, I love that.
I love that.
Like I love that organic processof coaching and just seeing what
emerges.
But I would say I could namesome typical patterns when
people reach out to.
Formed relationships with threedifferent library systems in the
(14:29):
area here.
And I hold events and givepresentations about executive
functioning at those libraries.
So often people will come tothat because they'll see
keywords like time management orprocrastination, things where
they think oh, I know what thatlooks like for me.
I wanna go hear more about thisand myself.
(14:49):
And that's often how peoplelearn the term executive
functioning.
So often people come topresentations and then they
hear, oh, that's me.
That's the thing I do.
That's the thing I need helpwith.
And they'll reach out after theyhave heard me give a
presentation.
So that's one.
another one is I think oftenpeople expressed needs for
(15:11):
themselves, come out of likequarterly meetings with
supervisors at work becausethey'll use very corporate
language about I need help withmy time management and
productivity, or, I need helpmanaging my progress through
long term tasks.
Like often there's a workoriented.
(15:33):
Productivity need that peoplecome to me for.
And then I also have people whooften have gotten a recent A DH
ADHD diagnosis or, have startedto suspect it about themselves
and they feel like it often thelanguage is I need help getting
that under control.
(15:54):
which is always.
Interest in a coachingrelationship to help somebody
break down.
what does that actually mean foryou to have your ADHD under
control?
Where is that messaging comingfrom?
Is this actually somethingthat's necessary or is it
something you've been told isnecessary?
there's so much to unravelthere.
so I would say those areprobably three common patterns
(16:15):
that people come to me for.
But again, I think there arelike undercurrents of needs
beneath those things that oftencome out.
I'll just, give a not specificenough to be personal example
from a client that I workedwith.
So there was somebody who cameto me because he was getting
(16:36):
distracted during the day and hethought he needed help avoiding
distractions.
So that was like what he told mehe needed a coach for and after,
really coaching, it's a lot ofconversation.
it's uncovering patterns andhelping people figure out what
they know about themselves.
that client and I figured outthat really what he needed help
(16:59):
with was figuring out what wasuseful about that.
Kind of distraction, because ifwe do something over and over
again, it's usually serving somekind of purpose.
So figuring out what was usefulabout that and validating that
need, not shutting it off andavoiding it, but finding
healthy, balanced ways to engagewith what was the very real need
(17:22):
underneath that.
That's a good example of oftenpeople say, I need help with,
fill in the blank.
There's so much more underneaththat, and I love helping people
figure that out.
Ooh, I like that a lot.
And I, what's beautiful aboutthat is when it comes to A DHD,
a lot of the times we're tryingto find solutions that are a
(17:45):
neurotypical solution.
with time management, I need tohave a perfect schedule that I
follow to a t every single day.
And if I fail, then I'm afailure, right?
Yes.
But you're gonna help me dothat.
Help me find this perfectschedule.
Yeah.
I will adhere to every day, whenin reality it's about finding
what works for you specifically.
Absolutely.
And I think on top of that, ourculture is I don't know how to
(18:08):
say it, but it's, this commoncultural messaging of if you
find the right product coachplanner thing to throw money at.
Problem.
And so I think I see that incoaching too.
I see people who think this isgonna be the thing that if I
spend money on a coachingpackage, it's gonna fix it and
(18:30):
I'm never gonna have anyproblems.
But helping people realize, likeit's so much more complicated
than that, but we're taught thatif we just find the thing to
throw money at, that's going tofix it.
and part of it is just We knowwe need tools to survive.
Yes.
There's so many incredible toolsout there.
Yes.
(18:50):
But there's no one tool that'sgonna solve everything for us.
It's about making a decision tochange too, and knowing that it
can't happen overnight.
And breaking it down andfiguring out like, what's one
step that I can take toward thisfuture?
I wanna live.
Yes.
I love that.
And I think too, we're usingtools.
It's an interactive relationshipbecause it's not just about the
(19:12):
tool, it's about the personwho's using it.
And we have to understand bothhow the tool works, but what do
we know about ourselves thatmakes that tool the right fit
for us?
Just applying a tool withoutunderstanding our own needs it,
it might work for a couple daysand it might be interesting, but
it's not really going to besustainable if you don't
(19:34):
understand your relationshipwith.
The tool and like the biggerneed.
Yeah.
What is really interesting, so Ihave a community.
I think you have a communitytoo, don't you?
yes.
I definitely wanna talk aboutthat.
Yeah.
'cause my goal for this podcastisn't for you to just fall in
love with me and work with onlyme.
It's really just, if you'relistening to this, I want you to
find the right person for you.
(19:55):
If I'm your person, I'mcredible, but if Kate's your
person.
Also incredible because I can'tserve the world.
Kate can't serve the world.
It's about listening andfiguring out who speaks to you
so that you can now take thenext steps towards figuring out
your A DHD.
So case in point, in mycommunity this month, we are
(20:16):
talking about the tools thatwe've used and then have gone to
the tool graveyard, right?
Like it's the planner that westarted using and then it like
goes and lives in the corner.
that was in the month of June.
So as I'm going through all ofmy stuff in my home, I found my
Fitbit and I was like, why did Istop using this?
So I put it on my right hand andI was like, oh my gosh, I hate
(20:37):
the way that it feels.
That's why I stopped using it.
So then my husband was like, putit on your left hand.
Maybe that'll be better for you.
And I was like, sure.
I guess I'll try that.
But I put it on my left hand andI was like, still hate it, hate
this feeling.
But I wanted to try it because Iliked like the aspect of it.
Just this tracking thing.
(20:57):
Yeah.
Where I didn't have to bring myphone everywhere.
I had something.
So then I watched a video realquick because it was doing some
sort of scan on my body and I'mlike, this is cool.
I watched the video, it showedme where to put it on my wrist,
and it wasn't where I had it.
So I had been wearing it on thewrong space on my wrist the
whole time.
(21:18):
So after watching this video, acute little how to video, that
took me 30 seconds.
I've now figured out how to usemy Fitbit in a way that works
amazing for me.
Knowing that I've had a Fitbit,I probably would've never gone
out and bought one again, but Ifound it.
I decided to try to use it.
Then I watched a video to showme how, and that made all the
(21:40):
difference in the world.
And so for me, like a lot of thetimes when it comes to tools,
it's that dopamine hit.
I get this dopamine hit rightaway.
I am so excited about it.
Yes.
And when I go back to it or whenI try, or like sometimes I'll
just forget about it and that'sokay too.
But if you do have a tool thatyou've left and you wanna come
(22:00):
back to it, you can.
That's available to you.
So anyways, I had to highlightthat.
Yeah.
I was like, holy crap, thiswhole time, yes.
I've been just wearing it wrong.
yes.
Can I say something about thatactually, yes, please do.
Yeah.
So something that my coachingbrain is attending to is, it
sounds like the way you had beenwearing it before, it sounds
like there may have been asensory issue underneath that.
(22:23):
I see this with clients too,like there's often a sensory and
or processing need underneath atool not working for you.
Like an example that comes tomind is people who put reminders
on their digital calendar andthey get the popups.
But if you're not a strongvisual processor, all of those
(22:43):
alerts just fade into thebackground.
It's like noise.
So you're following advice thatworks for a lot of people, and
that is something that I thinkcalendar reminders can work for
both neurotypical and neurodivergent people, but it might
not work with your individualprocessing and sensory profile.
So that's an example where ifyou keep forcing yourself to
(23:06):
keep up with.
Appointments in exactly that waybecause you tell yourself it
should work because it works forquote unquote everybody else.
But if there's a very realreason why that doesn't work for
you, you're not honoringyourself and it's not gonna
stick.
And working with a coach allowsthem to say what's not working
(23:26):
and why?
What's the barrier there?
yes.
Yeah.
help me understand the barrier,because there's something that's
making you not wanna go back tothat.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love the coaching question ofwhat has almost worked for you
in the past, woo.
That tells you so much as acoach.
Oh my gosh, that's such a goodquestion.
Yes.
I love it.
Feel free to steal and share.
(23:47):
That's a great one.
Oh my God.
Because I don't even rememberwhere I heard that.
I think probably on a podcast.
And I think also having peoplename what doesn't work for you
is really useful.
But what almost worked for you?
I think that's really cool.
It's so interesting too becausea lot of people come to me,
they've read all the books,they've listened to all the
podcasts, they almost know moreabout organizing than I do, and
I'm like, yeah, they subscribeto all the YouTube channels.
(24:08):
Yeah.
I'm like, whoa, you guys arefans of this organizing stuff.
But so far they haven't beenable to get anything to stick.
And that's when you need a coachto drive the action, there's
something missing between Theknowledge point and the action
piece.
That's where a lot of us gethung up to is we've done all the
research and we know what to do.
(24:29):
We're so incredibly intelligentand we've not only gained the
knowledge, but now we've createdall of these new neuro pathways
to create all of these otherbeautiful and brilliant ways to
accomplish something.
But now we don't know where tostart I wanted to ask you, you
had talked about being a highlysensitive person earlier.
Can you tell us a little bitmore about.
What that actually looks like,because I've heard a lot of
(24:51):
therapists talk about it andlike I've, you tell me I'm
highly sensitive, Yeah.
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh, yes.
Yeah.
So what does it mean to be ahighly sensitive person?
Ooh, that's a good question.
And I will admit this is notsomething I have Read up on
recently, Do you wanna Googleit?
Okay, let's do it.
While you do that, I'm gonnatalk a little bit too and say I
do think, I feel a weirdpressure to cite my sources as I
(25:14):
talk about things.
And it's a balance between, Iwanna give credit to the people.
Who have come with the ideas,but I think there's also this
weird fear of I don't wantpeople to think that.
I think I came up with this ideabecause I know I didn't.
I think that's a reallyinteresting point that you bring
up because when I first enteredthe organizing world, I thought
I had to come up with my ownmethod, my own way of doing
(25:36):
things.
And everything had to be unique,this is where my political
science degree comes into play,is that all of these ancient
philosophers literally learnedfrom one another.
Plato?
To Socrates, to Aristotle.
It's a legacy.
They learned from one anotherand as they learned.
Their brains created this newway of thinking and this evolved
(25:57):
way of thinking to this pointthat yes, now we are inundated
with so much information.
And yes, there are some uniqueand beautiful ideas out there,
but we're living in this day andage where there's actually not a
ton of unique ideas anymore.
We're all getting ideas from oneanother.
And it's more just aboutsupporting one another and like
(26:19):
just by you and I having aconversation, Kate, I already
have new coaching questions toask and like I love it.
We're literally learning fromone another..
Yeah, cite the sources, cite theinformation, the studies, the
deliciousness, and yep.
There's so much to be said fromgaining this information from
reliable sources and moving onand sharing it and Letting that
(26:40):
be what we gain from it.
But I feel you on that so much.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
So a highly sensitive person.
I just Googled this.
This is literally the AIoverview on Google.
So a highly sensitive person issomeone with a heightened
sensitivity to physical,emotional, and social stimuli.
This trait, also known assensory processing sensitivity
(27:04):
affects about 15 to 20% of thepopulation.
HSPs experience the world moredeeply leading to both
challenges and strengths.
Key characteristics areheightened sensory awareness,
easily overwhelmed by loudnoises, bright lights, strong
smells and crowded places.
Deep emotional processing,empathy and intuition.
(27:25):
Intricate inner life.
So they tend to be thoughtful.
Reflective.
Have a rich inner world.
Creativity and appreciation forbeauty.
They have a deep appreciationfor art, music, and other forms
of beauty.
My husband took me to a showlast week.
We went to see Ann Juliet inDenver, and it was.
So good.
And I'm sitting there imaginingmyself up on stage, singing and
(27:48):
dancing and I'm a part of itall.
And yeah, like that is, that'sme to a tee.
Thanks for that overview.
That kind of helped jog mymemory of, when you know
something about yourself sodeeply, you almost forget how to
define it to other peoplebecause you're so up here and
you have to verbalize it.
Oh my, yeah.
Most of us have only one brainour whole lives, and you don't
(28:09):
know what it's like in somebodyelse's brain.
For me it shows up in a coupledifferent ways.
I do think I have felt, I'verealized that something that is
just true at the core of mybeing is a deep emotional
connection to music.
and we'll see if I can talkabout this without getting
choked up, but it's okay if Ido.
Mom tells me when I was reallyyoung in church.
(28:30):
Before I could really talk muchlike I would cry silently, just
like tears coming down my faceat the somber sad music in
church.
And she said she just picked upon I could emotionally feel
music before I could talk aboutit.
And I have just always felt somuch solace in listening to
(28:53):
music.
I don't play music.
I went through a.
For a while, which we don'twanna talk about that.
But I just remember feeling notconsistently throughout
childhood, but there weredefinitely periods, particularly
in middle school, where I feltlonely and misunderstood and
music helped me feel comforted.
(29:15):
I've always had a love of deeplylistening to music and picking
apart the layers and noticingthings.
So I think I pick up on thingsthat other people wouldn't.
I also feel like I'm one ofthose people who notices subtle
shifts in other people's bodylanguage and tone of voice and
(29:37):
mood.
Which can be helpful coachingfor sure.
I read people well, on subtlelevels.
I'm definitely distracted bynoises one of the worst is if I
hear like a squeaking or abuzzing or a beeping in the
background, and I don't knowwhere it's coming from.
(30:01):
It's really hard for me to focuson anything else until I figure
out what that noise is.
I feel weather changes in mybody.
I often get really bad headacheswhen a pressure changes coming,
and that's been true for me aslong as I can remember.
I also think I'm more, in tunewith my body than some people
(30:24):
are.
I usually know when I'm gettingsick really early.
I used to get a sinus infectionevery year without fail really.
And I would go to urgent careand I would know that I had a
sinus infection too early for itto show up in the test.
I remember a couple times, likehaving to come back in two days
and then they said, oh, you havea sinus infection.
(30:46):
yes, I've known this for two orthree days.
but again, and some of thosethings I feel like I'm always
picking up on, likeenvironmental stimuli.
Is that highly sensitive?
Is that a DHD?
Is that anxiety, like I wannaknow what's gonna happen.
So I'm scanning my environment.
there's so much overlap betweenthose things and it's
(31:09):
interesting but complicated.
I feel that so much and yeah.
How does it show up for you?
what's really interesting is thelabels we feel like we need to
put on it, but also.
It just is like that is my livedexperience.
It's your lived experience.
Music is huge for me, so I havesang my whole life and what's
(31:33):
really powerful, I went toschool for music and then my dad
told me that I would never makeany money in music, and so I
switched to a business major andthen didn't know what I wanted
to do.
Finally switched to a politicalscience major, but music.
Is something I've always comeback to.
Like in my community, one of thefirst things I did was create
playlists.
I was like, oh, use these todeclutter too, because it's so
(31:56):
important you get that dopaminehit.
Even now in the world, I'mseeing all these new creators
come up with the sounds thatthey're creating with their
voices.
It's nothing like I've everheard before.
Just like our world is evolvingin thought and organization and
understanding who we are aspeople more, I also see this
(32:17):
evolution in music and theartists that are out there.
I wanna sing, but I'm like, ohmy, I don't think there's a
place for me out there anymore,but I love singing so much that
I do it regardless.
that's gonna happen.
Good, good.
Yes.
But there's something more aboutit.
It is really deeply emotionalfor me as well, when you were
talking, it reminded me aboutwhen I was younger, I made so
(32:40):
many mixed CDs.
I would make them for my sister,I would make them for my
friends, and they would becalled all the most ridiculous
things.
And yeah, that was such a funway for me to say these are all
my favorite songs right now.
I think that they should be yourfavorite songs too.
That was my love language ofgiving music, I was really into
the glee soundtracks andmusicals and things like that.
(33:01):
And some of my friends wouldmake fun of me for it.
And then I thought, I was like,oh, these aren't things that I
should be like, that's not ascool, right?
So I need to stop liking that asmuch.
I should like these things.
I think that's something that werecognize is that.
Oh, I see that you don'tnecessarily like that about me.
I don't have to like somethingjust because the world expects
(33:22):
me to like something, I don'thave to say something just
because the world accepts me tosay this because I'm actually
not gonna please everyone aroundme, in fact, I'm never going to
be able to make everyone happy,so I should just make myself
happy.
because when I'm happy, everyoneelse around me gets to be happy
too.
(33:43):
It's infectious.
But that's a beautiful thing andthat is something that is Just
beautiful.
I keep coming back to that wordabout whether it's high
sensitivity or neurodivergenceor just who you are as a person,
but like the ability to bevulnerable by showing your own
enthusiasm and helping otherpeople bring that out in
(34:04):
themselves, I think is just,it's so beautiful.
But that you're right.
Like in the end, if I enjoy it.
That's something that I really,I have figured out about myself
now that I've gotten a divorceand I'm living by myself for the
first time as an adult, but likereally getting to figure out
like what is important to me andwhat do I enjoy when I'm by
(34:25):
myself and learning to, I lovemy own company.
Love the same things that youdo.
that's just, it's a gift, it's abonus.
And it's not necessary to havepeople who like the same things
that you do.
But man, it's fun when you findthat.
my partner also really lovesmusic and he plays music.
And it's been cool because heunderstands how music is made
(34:47):
and.
The way songs are composed, butwe love making song chains, so
what we do is we make a sharedplaylist.
I thought of this when you saidmaking playlists earlier, but
like one of us will pick a songto start and then the other one
will pick a song that's similarto it in some way.
oh, like the tone of the guitarsis really similar in this second
(35:09):
song.
Or the baseline reminds me ofthis song, or.
This song is about whatever thetopic is.
Here's another one about that.
Yeah.
And we'll just build a chain andtake turns picking the songs.
But then it's a cool thing likethen when we're driving around
to listen back to these songchains that we have made.
And it's just, it's so much fun.
(35:29):
It's such a cool way to engagewith music and I love it.
That's my new favorite thing.
Great.
That's so cool.
When it comes to coaching andwhat we do.
I know that.
When I'm working with someone,they're so buried in stuff and
executive dysfunctionimpulsivity that it's hard to
truly embrace how a DHD could bea positive thing and how it can
(35:52):
be something that you can thrivewith.
Right?
Which is why like that wholesuperpower, non superpower, our
whole argument exists withcoaching.
What I've noticed is that byletting go and uncovering how to
work with your brain, you get todiscover some of these
incredible things that eitheryou did have previously or new
(36:16):
things now that, I don't have asmuch stuff in my home.
My future is so much more clearbecause I'm not holding on to my
past.
It's been really cool to seethat in so many of my clients.
And so as you see peoplediscovering how they can get a
hold of their future, what haveyou noticed for them?
(36:38):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I was thinking too about all ornothing thinking patterns which
show up so often for people witha DHD.
And about how it's natural to.
Throughout your lifetime.
Yeah, but sometimes people whoare in those all or nothing
thinking patterns, forget that.
So they think either this is alifelong hobby or if I take a
(37:02):
break from it, I'm never gonnado it again.
And of course that's not true.
What do you see when peoplestart to get a hold of how to
work with their own brain?
What kind of transformations doyou see?
And how do you see that?
Opening up their ownpossibilities of how they can
live their life to the fullest,listening to more music or like
discovering a new hobby, thingslike that.
(37:25):
I would definitely considermyself a strengths based coach.
so helping people build on theirstrengths.
And when people.
Hear that oh, capitalize on yourstrengths.
Build on your strengths.
It can sometimes be received inlike a participation trophy kind
of way of that's just somethingthat a coach does to make me
feel better about myself.
But it's not, you're right thatA DHD does present individual
(37:50):
strengths for people.
So one example is that peoplewho have DHD are often good at
recognizing patterns.
If people don't already knowthat about themselves, helping
them realize that and thenseeing how they can use that as
a way to continue learning aboutthemselves.
So like they know that they hatethe paperwork that they have to
(38:12):
do at work, but getting them topick that apart and figure out
like, what does that.
That particular dreaded task,what pattern exists there that
shows up in other places in yourlife and then getting a new lens
to understand things like, it'snot about the paperwork, it's
that I have to do it inisolation, or, somebody else
(38:36):
dictates the timeline.
I have to get that done,whatever it is, like helping
people use their strengths tofigure out what is true about
them.
Then gives them a pathway tomove forward.
And just that question of likewhen people struggle, helping
them not ask themselves What iswrong with me?
Or why can't I do this?
(38:57):
But what do I know about myselfthat is making this hard right
now?
That is such an empowering wayto think of your life, to be
able to think of.
What is true about me, not whatis wrong with me, but what is
true about me that makes thishard.
Figuring that out for themselvescan be just really empowering.
(39:19):
Yeah, and also to that point,what is true about me?
based on what I have believedabout myself for so long.
But how can I change that beliefto create a new truth?
Yeah.
And what does that look like?
What kind of action steps can Itake in that direction?
Like one of my first coachingclients ever told me I can't be
organized, so why would I eventry?
(39:41):
And it's'cause she thought thatonce she got organized, she
wasn't gonna be able to sustainit.
And so of course if you believethat, that will be your truth.
Of course, if you believe thatyou're always gonna be playing
catch up and always going to bein this zone of like constantly
go, go, go.
Or on the flip side, constantlyimmobile trying to just figure
(40:05):
out what's next, but not beingable to actually take action on
it, then that's gonna be yourtruth.
I love having a podcast'cause itjust allows us to not only talk
about what we do, but Genuinelyhow we approach the world and
the things that we truly loveabout what we do, and of course
how we live our lives.
So tell us a little bit abouthow people can work with you and
(40:26):
how people can get in touch withyou.
Sure.
Yeah.
And I wanted to say earlier,'cause I don't think I named it,
I really appreciate that yousaid, you want people to find
the right person for them.
Yeah.
And I really appreciate that andthat's important in my work too.
like sometimes we have realized.
There's actually a differenttype of coach that they need, or
(40:46):
therapy is more of a prioritythan working on executive
function coaching.
But yeah, it's really importantfor people to find what they
need in the moment.
my website is stage BF.
and that's a great place tolearn about the two main
coaching packages that I offer.
there is also a place to learnabout the events, the virtual
and in-person events, includingmy library events that I hold.
(41:09):
And I also have a pretty new.
Discord, accountabilitycommunity called the Sage
Collective.
And there's information aboutthat on my website as well.
But, I have a couple differentlevels of membership.
I have text-based only support,and we've got channels for.
Resource.
We have a hive mind channelwhere we do group
(41:31):
troubleshooting.
of course we've got memes and apets channel and a tangents
channel and stuff like that too.
But we also have, body doubling,virtual coworking that we do.
There's a two hour block everyweek.
But also the option to set upyour own coworking session at
any time.
I have office hours where peoplecan drop in for help, and I have
(41:55):
a once a month open house event,which anybody who's interested
in the community can join.
And I call that my monthly planand prep event, where we look
ahead to the next month and talkabout things that might be on
our calendars, how to plan forthem.
Birthdays we need to buy cardsfor.
if you've got vacation planningin time to get ready for that.
(42:18):
Anything like that.
Really just group brainstorming,planning to get ready for the
month ahead.
it's still pretty new, but I'mreally proud of it and I've been
getting great feedback about it.
It's so cool.
Oh my gosh.
I love so many of those ideas.
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
Thank you.
Kate, thank you so much forjoining me on the podcast.
I'm so excited to share you withmy audience and I hope you have
(42:38):
a great day.
Thank you so much.
I really enjoyed re-listening tothat episode.
There were so many nuggets ofreally great information and I
learned so much from Kate justspeaking with her.
Kate and I were talking at onepoint learning how to work with
your brain, and when it comes tothe perfect schedule, I had
talked about.
This is the schedule I'm gonnawork with every single day, and
(43:01):
it's going to be perfect.
We expect perfection fromourselves because let's be
honest, there are some dayswhere we show up and it's
absolutely incredible.
But part of our neurodivergentbrain is that we exist in a
different capacity as we show upon a regular basis.
We're gonna show up some daysand we're gonna be ready to
(43:22):
conquer the world, and we'regonna show up some days and we
can't understand why we can't dothe damn thing that we put on
our to-do list to do that day.
Sometimes it's just one thingand we're like, oh my gosh, why
can't I possibly execute this?
Understanding that aboutourselves allows us to figure
out the type of schedule thatworks for us, the type of tool
(43:45):
that works for us.
Because what's also interestingabout this is that just because
you know something works for oneA DHD brain doesn't mean that
it's gonna work for yours.
That's why when it comes tocoaching, it's not a one size
fits all.
It's not about knowing the exactprocess.
It's about understanding theperson that you're working with
so that you can help them findthe solutions that are gonna
(44:08):
work for them.
So often people come to me andthey're like, well, what do you
do?
How do you do this?
And how do you do that?
And I'll provide suggestions,absolutely.
But when I write myself helpbook, it's going to be about.
Asking yourself the question,how could this work for me?
Or based on the way that I learnthings, how might this not work
(44:28):
for me?
Could I still give it a try?
Knowing what I know andunderstanding who I am so that I
can make the next best decisionfor myself?
I find this really interestingand I didn't truly get into the
weeds with this, but I wanted toget into a little bit of the
weeds as I summarized thisbecause it is really important
when you're trying to understandwhat works for you because you
(44:52):
know it might work that you wakeup super early and it might work
that you sleep until 9:00 AM.
It just depends on who you areand what your needs are, and you
get to decide.
What works for you and let thatbe your success.
I also loved when Kate pointedout that I had a sensory issue
with my Fitbit.
(45:13):
I did have a sensory issue andhonestly, I stopped using it all
together.
Actually, in one of my webinarsthat I looked at it and I was
like, and honestly I don't evenlike it.
I tried it again.
I don't like it.
I've examined it, I've asked thequestions.
It's just not something that'sgonna work for me.
But I gave it a really good try.
There's aspects of it that I doreally like, but sensory things,
(45:33):
especially on my wrists, I'venoticed are very important.
I can't wear things on my wrist.
That's not the case foreveryone, but I now know that
about myself, and it could bethat I find something that works
a little bit differently.
That's okay too.
What's interesting aboutorganizing and coaching in the A
DHD is that the more I learn,the more I realize how much
(45:57):
there is to learn how muchinformation is out there to help
people and guide them and tosupport them in what works for
them.
Coming back to what I had saidearlier about some of my clients
that come to me and knoweverything there is to know
about organizing, but nothingworks for them.
A lot of the times we do allthis research and we're like, oh
(46:20):
my gosh, I don't know where tostart.
I don't know how to do this.
I don't know which method I'mgonna start with, and therefore
I don't know what I'm going totry first.
It's almost better that you gointo it with a blank slate
because knowing too much canprevent you from taking those
next steps.
But once you start, you start tounderstand what could work for
(46:42):
you, what could make sense, andthen you get to ask those
questions of what I like whatKate was saying.
What's something that's almostworked for you in the past and
identifying the barrier tomaking that become something
that could work so much more.
Also wasn't Kate's idea of thesong chain, the coolest idea in
the entire world.
(47:03):
I am gonna go to my Spotify,create a new playlist, and start
this with my husbandimmediately.
He loves music.
I love music, and it's somethingthat we bonded over when we
first met, I hope you all go andcheck out Kate and just
understand that there's optionsfor you out there.
I will say coaching is notalways the most affordable
(47:25):
solution, but it gives you somereally awesome updates on how to
have some guidance for thefuture, and if coaching is not
right for you financially.
Check out some of thesecommunities that are out there,
whether it's mine, whether it'sKate's, there's so many, i've
had Russ from the A DHD, bigBrother on here.
He's got an awesome community.
Find other people who havebrains that work like yours
(47:48):
because you will find that thosepeople will help lift you up and
help you understand yourself,help you celebrate yourself in a
way that you never thoughtpossible.
And we thrive when we havepraise.
It's important to recognize thepositive, as I have been
mentioning, I'm not currentlytaking on any new coaching
(48:09):
clients as I'm focusing onsupporting the amazing women and
men I'm already working withright now.
And while the A DHD organizingcommunity is closed to new
members for now.
It will reopen in the fall.
If you would like to be thefirst to know when spots open,
you can join the wait list forcoaching or the community at
(48:29):
organizing an ADHDbrain.com/community.
I'll be keeping you up to datewith anything and everything
that's going to be coming upthis fall.
Just remember that no matterwhere you are, the perfect place
to start is exactly where youare.
On that note, I'll see you nextweek.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to another episodeof organizing an A DHD Brain.
I am really excited to introduceyou to the guest today.
Executive function coaching isnot something I even realized
was a thing, and that's trulywhat a DHD coaching is.
So many of the deficits that wedeal with on a regular basis
have to do with executivefunction.
(00:21):
'cause executive function isabout how we take action on so
many of the things or theinaction we're not taking.
In our lives on theorganization, on the little
things, the things that we knowwe wanna do, but all of these
other things are taking up spacein our lives.
As I've been reflecting thisweek it's been interesting'cause
(00:42):
we're going through thistransitionary period in our
lives.
We have left Colorado, we soldour home, and we are going to be
renting when we end up on theeast coast.
And right now we're renting aswe make our way there.
We are traveling with fouranimals, two kids.
It's me and my husband, andwe're trying to make the most of
(01:02):
our lives while also figuringout what's next.
My husband is job searchingright now and figuring out
what's next in his life.
I'm also laying the foundationand doing a lot of educational
work for my own coachingabilities and systems that I
wanna have in place for the nextthing.
What's coming up in the fall?
I'm super excited to share thatwith you when it's ready, but as
(01:26):
I'm taking my own advice, I'mreally sitting with the peace.
And starting to notice so manyof the things around me, and I'm
gonna be honest, at some points,I've really wanted to stop
talking about organizing so thatI can become a full on expert in
the bugs that I am seeing on aregular basis like milli ps and
(01:48):
spiders and oh my gosh, and Idon't want them around me, but
they're fascinating to look at.
Just fascinating.
And we've done a lot of Googlesearching on the habits of bugs,
and I didn't really realize thatwe would find so many snails.
We are in the woods.
We are in a forest right now,and we have found snails
(02:09):
everywhere.
We've also seen 10 bears so far,possibly the same bears, but
multiple times on this trip.
The last time I remember seeinga bear was when I was growing
up, probably about 20 years ago,and now we've seen them so
often.
I will tell you so much moreabout our journey and the
exploration.
We've done more when I launchedseason three this fall, but for
(02:33):
now, let's go ahead and jumpinto this episode.
i'm so excited to introduce youto my new friend Kate.
We met through another guestmelissa Snow, she is the
surrogate mom to my cat Teddy,who you guys have listened to
and all know.
but she is this incrediblenetworking queen and connected
myself and Kate.
And Kate is a executivefunctioning coach, which you
(02:56):
might be thinking, holy crap, Ididn't even know that this was a
thing.
And it freaking is.
And it's so amazing.
I'm so excited to interview hertoday and tell you all about
what she does.
Kate, tell us a little bit aboutyour journey into becoming an
executive functioning coach.
Sure.
Thank you so much for having me,and I love your enthusiasm.
(03:18):
so I'm Kate am the owner of sef.
Coaching, and I've been doingthis for just over two years
now, but my background is ineducation.
I have two education degrees.
I'm a licensed teacher.
I taught in the classroom for 13years, mostly high school
English and the last half of mycareer I worked in private
(03:41):
school for students withdiagnosed.
Attention issues and or learningdifferences.
We had only four students perclassroom, so I really got to
know those students.
And I worked with such adiversity of learning profiles
and I loved it.
A couple years ago I was goingthrough a lot of change in my
(04:02):
life.
separation, eventually adivorce, moving out, thinking I
was gonna move states.
And I was thinking about.
What else I could do with mybackground.
I ended up completing an A DHDcoach training program.
I opened my own business and Icoach mostly local clients here
(04:23):
in the triangle, North Carolina.
So Durham, Raleigh, chapel Hillarea.
and I use, my understanding ofthe process of learning my
knowledge of neurodiversity andmy training as coach to work
with adults.
That's incredible.
How cool.
Thank you.
I love it.
I love what I do.
I bet it's such a rewardingexperience.
(04:45):
And can you share with us if youhave a DHD?
Yeah, that's a reallyinteresting question.
So I, for a long time thought,oh no, not me.
Because of all of the reasonsthat I think women in particular
are denied a diagnosis, I.
(05:06):
Did well in school.
I loved school.
of course there were subjectsand classes that I struggled
with, but I didn't have a hardtime keeping up with homework.
got good grades and I haven'tstruggled to hold down a job.
Like I've heard so many peoplewith stories of oh, I to get a
diagnosis, but my doctor said,you work full time, I've told
(05:28):
myself all those stories too.
But the more I learn about folkswith A DHD and the more I learn
about the way, female presentingpeople mask a DHD symptoms, and
the more I learn about myclients and how things show up
for them, I think, you knowwhat?
(05:49):
I think that probably is true.
So I'm not diagnosed.
I was saying to you before westarted recording.
The highly sensitive personprofile definitely fits me.
that's of course not apsychological diagnosis, but
it's a profile that I reallyresonate with strongly and for
so long, that was how Iexplained the things about
(06:10):
myself, that didn't seem like,things other people did, but now
I'm starting to see myselfthrough a different kind of
lens.
Yeah.
That helps me relate to clients.
so often clients say somethingthat I think, wow, I have never
put that together before, butthat actually fits me too.
Oh, that's fascinating.
(06:30):
And I wanna, first, I just wannahighlight the fact that so many
of the people listening areeither late diagnosed, then
diagnosed their whole lives, orat least as a young child, or
they're in the middle.
They either don't know how toseek a diagnosis or they're like
getting close to it, but it'stoo expensive.
All those other things.
(06:51):
Yes.
Or just exploring what it meansto have a DHD and I.
I just wanna highlight that it'sokay to be wherever you need to
be in this journey.
Especially with social mediaright now, I've seen videos
coming up about this is whatreal A DHD is, and if you don't
have this, then you don't havereal A DHD.
(07:11):
And I was like, oh my gosh, allof us are trying to figure this
shit out and we don't needsomeone else coming in here and
telling us what we should andshouldn't think about ourselves
because right at the end of theday, it's so individualistic it.
pursue or avoid gettingdiagnoses for very individual,
(07:35):
unique reasons.
It's a long process.
It's an expensive process.
in some cases, having thediagnosis can make people feel a
little more limited.
But yeah, it's a frameworkthrough which you can understand
yourself, but it doesn't explaineverything about.
The layered and beautiful humanbeing that you are.
(07:56):
we all, I don't think the goalfor anybody should be to explain
everything about themselvesthrough any kind of diagnosis or
label because so much of what wedo and the way we think and move
through the world is just who weare, and it's helpful.
It can be helpful, again to havelike frameworks, archetypes,
(08:19):
templates.
It can't explain everythingabout who you are, and no one
person can explain the holisticview of somebody else.
So yeah, people having theaudacity to say oh, you don't do
fill in the blank.
You can't have adhd, especiallywhen it's medical and mental
(08:39):
health professionals who aredenying people their lived
experience, that's, that can bereally harmful.
And I see that in clients too.
Absolutely.
And that's so frustrating.
And so if you're listening tothis and you are struggling with
that, just want you to know thatyou're accepted here no matter
where you are on this journey.
Back to you.
(09:00):
Tell us what the heck isexecutive function coaching?
Yes.
I'm sighing a little bitbecause, just going behind the
scenes of marketing yourself asa coach.
Sometimes ends up being more ofa full-time job than coaching
itself.
I wish there was a succinct,clear way to explain what I do,
(09:21):
because I am an executivefunction coach.
That's the term for the types ofskills that I help people with.
But if you don't know what thatmeans, executive functioning
actually is the set of cognitiveskills that help us execute
functions.
So it's the skills that help usget things done in everyday
life.
we tend to talk about it inacademic and work context, but
(09:43):
it's so much more than that.
A metaphor that I've heard isit's like air traffic control
for your brain.
So in the same way that airtraffic control agents don't
actually mechanically fly andland the plane themselves, but
they set up the conditions sothat things happen in the right
order.
thinking a couple steps ahead,making a plan, setting
(10:06):
priorities, managing time,avoiding distractions, saying
this isn't.
Important right now.
I'll come back to that later.
It's all of those skills thathelp us set up the conditions so
that we can get things done ineveryday life.
Wow.
So why do people with A DHDstruggle with executive
(10:28):
function?
It's a really good question, andI also think it's important for
people to know you don't.
Either diagnosed or suspected tostruggle with executive
functioning.
and not all of my clients dohave a DH ADHD or even suspect
that they have a DH adhd.
But I would say the reason thathumans in general struggle with
(10:49):
executive functioning is becausewe have to continue that air
traffic control metaphor.
We have so much on our radar atall times.
And you were mentioning likepreparing for moving.
I mean there's so much that goeswith that life change that's on
your radar and in the backgroundall the time.
And so no matter who you are,you have a limited amount of
(11:15):
that cognitive energy per day touse.
And if you are sleep deprivedand anxious and.
Chronically stressed or dealingwith chronic pain, if you have
unresolved emotional conflictsthat are on your radar, all of
that stuff takes away from thatcognitive energy.
(11:39):
And there's a commonmisconception that if you have a
DHD, you don't have as muchattention, capacity as other
people do.
Which is not true.
It just means you struggle tocontrol where that attention
goes.
So for folks with A DHD, ifthey're already naturally
struggling to attend to things,to hold things in their working
(12:01):
memory, a lot of it is decisionfatigue too.
Trying to prioritize takes a lotof decision making energy, and
so just having your energy putin so many different places all
the time, of course, it's hardto manage your time and to set
priorities and to break a bigplan into steps.
(12:24):
No, that's huge.
I think when I first gotdiagnosed with A-D-H-D-I.
Just naturally thought, oh cool.
I just can't focus on things.
And I went through this denialperiod and I'm like, maybe I
don't have adhd.
And they were wrong.
And I've actually talked to somany other people and they're
like, I went through the samething.
It's just this weird thing whereyou don't even realize that you
(12:45):
are in denial and you think youjust know so much more.
But one thing I didn't realizewere how many.
Aspects of A-D-H-D-I didn'tunderstand, I just thought that
A DHD meant oh, hyperactive, buthow does that relate to me?
And when it comes to executivefunction, I have this all or
(13:05):
nothing mentality, and I stilldo, I still have this all or
nothing mentality, but becauseI'm aware of my executive
dysfunction, I understand thatit's hard for me to go at
something.
And break it up into smallsteps.
But when I remember that, when Isay, oh, I want all or nothing,
(13:27):
but I know that there's certainthings that I have to do first.
Yes.
What's one thing I could doright now?
I love that it helps me break itdown into the smallest thing I
could possibly do.
Yes.
So like I know that's somethingthat we address in coaching.
For organizing, right?
When it comes to executivefunction coaching, what do
(13:48):
people typically reach out toyou for?
what is their struggle?
What are they trying to achieve,and what kind of transformations
do you help them achieve?
Yeah, that's a great question.
It's a great multi-part questionthat, yeah, you might have to
remind me of some of the laterparts.
It's interesting too, because.
People reach out to me for somany different reasons and it's
(14:09):
often what they think they wantto work on is not what we
actually end up working on.
Which is really, I love that.
I love that.
Like I love that organic processof coaching and just seeing what
emerges.
But I would say I could namesome typical patterns when
people reach out to.
Formed relationships with threedifferent library systems in the
(14:29):
area here.
And I hold events and givepresentations about executive
functioning at those libraries.
So often people will come tothat because they'll see
keywords like time management orprocrastination, things where
they think oh, I know what thatlooks like for me.
I wanna go hear more about thisand myself.
(14:49):
And that's often how peoplelearn the term executive
functioning.
So often people come topresentations and then they
hear, oh, that's me.
That's the thing I do.
That's the thing I need helpwith.
And they'll reach out after theyhave heard me give a
presentation.
So that's one.
another one is I think oftenpeople expressed needs for
(15:11):
themselves, come out of likequarterly meetings with
supervisors at work becausethey'll use very corporate
language about I need help withmy time management and
productivity, or, I need helpmanaging my progress through
long term tasks.
Like often there's a workoriented.
(15:33):
Productivity need that peoplecome to me for.
And then I also have people whooften have gotten a recent A DH
ADHD diagnosis or, have startedto suspect it about themselves
and they feel like it often thelanguage is I need help getting
that under control.
(15:54):
which is always.
Interest in a coachingrelationship to help somebody
break down.
what does that actually mean foryou to have your ADHD under
control?
Where is that messaging comingfrom?
Is this actually somethingthat's necessary or is it
something you've been told isnecessary?
there's so much to unravelthere.
so I would say those areprobably three common patterns
(16:15):
that people come to me for.
But again, I think there arelike undercurrents of needs
beneath those things that oftencome out.
I'll just, give a not specificenough to be personal example
from a client that I workedwith.
So there was somebody who cameto me because he was getting
(16:36):
distracted during the day and hethought he needed help avoiding
distractions.
So that was like what he told mehe needed a coach for and after,
really coaching, it's a lot ofconversation.
it's uncovering patterns andhelping people figure out what
they know about themselves.
that client and I figured outthat really what he needed help
(16:59):
with was figuring out what wasuseful about that.
Kind of distraction, because ifwe do something over and over
again, it's usually serving somekind of purpose.
So figuring out what was usefulabout that and validating that
need, not shutting it off andavoiding it, but finding
healthy, balanced ways to engagewith what was the very real need
(17:22):
underneath that.
That's a good example of oftenpeople say, I need help with,
fill in the blank.
There's so much more underneaththat, and I love helping people
figure that out.
Ooh, I like that a lot.
And I, what's beautiful aboutthat is when it comes to A DHD,
a lot of the times we're tryingto find solutions that are a
(17:45):
neurotypical solution.
with time management, I need tohave a perfect schedule that I
follow to a t every single day.
And if I fail, then I'm afailure, right?
Yes.
But you're gonna help me dothat.
Help me find this perfectschedule.
Yeah.
I will adhere to every day, whenin reality it's about finding
what works for you specifically.
Absolutely.
And I think on top of that, ourculture is I don't know how to
(18:08):
say it, but it's, this commoncultural messaging of if you
find the right product coachplanner thing to throw money at.
Problem.
And so I think I see that incoaching too.
I see people who think this isgonna be the thing that if I
spend money on a coachingpackage, it's gonna fix it and
(18:30):
I'm never gonna have anyproblems.
But helping people realize, likeit's so much more complicated
than that, but we're taught thatif we just find the thing to
throw money at, that's going tofix it.
and part of it is just We knowwe need tools to survive.
Yes.
There's so many incredible toolsout there.
Yes.
(18:50):
But there's no one tool that'sgonna solve everything for us.
It's about making a decision tochange too, and knowing that it
can't happen overnight.
And breaking it down andfiguring out like, what's one
step that I can take toward thisfuture?
I wanna live.
Yes.
I love that.
And I think too, we're usingtools.
It's an interactive relationshipbecause it's not just about the
(19:12):
tool, it's about the personwho's using it.
And we have to understand bothhow the tool works, but what do
we know about ourselves thatmakes that tool the right fit
for us?
Just applying a tool withoutunderstanding our own needs it,
it might work for a couple daysand it might be interesting, but
it's not really going to besustainable if you don't
(19:34):
understand your relationshipwith.
The tool and like the biggerneed.
Yeah.
What is really interesting, so Ihave a community.
I think you have a communitytoo, don't you?
yes.
I definitely wanna talk aboutthat.
Yeah.
'cause my goal for this podcastisn't for you to just fall in
love with me and work with onlyme.
It's really just, if you'relistening to this, I want you to
find the right person for you.
(19:55):
If I'm your person, I'mcredible, but if Kate's your
person.
Also incredible because I can'tserve the world.
Kate can't serve the world.
It's about listening andfiguring out who speaks to you
so that you can now take thenext steps towards figuring out
your A DHD.
So case in point, in mycommunity this month, we are
(20:16):
talking about the tools thatwe've used and then have gone to
the tool graveyard, right?
Like it's the planner that westarted using and then it like
goes and lives in the corner.
that was in the month of June.
So as I'm going through all ofmy stuff in my home, I found my
Fitbit and I was like, why did Istop using this?
So I put it on my right hand andI was like, oh my gosh, I hate
(20:37):
the way that it feels.
That's why I stopped using it.
So then my husband was like, putit on your left hand.
Maybe that'll be better for you.
And I was like, sure.
I guess I'll try that.
But I put it on my left hand andI was like, still hate it, hate
this feeling.
But I wanted to try it because Iliked like the aspect of it.
Just this tracking thing.
(20:57):
Yeah.
Where I didn't have to bring myphone everywhere.
I had something.
So then I watched a video realquick because it was doing some
sort of scan on my body and I'mlike, this is cool.
I watched the video, it showedme where to put it on my wrist,
and it wasn't where I had it.
So I had been wearing it on thewrong space on my wrist the
whole time.
(21:18):
So after watching this video, acute little how to video, that
took me 30 seconds.
I've now figured out how to usemy Fitbit in a way that works
amazing for me.
Knowing that I've had a Fitbit,I probably would've never gone
out and bought one again, but Ifound it.
I decided to try to use it.
Then I watched a video to showme how, and that made all the
(21:40):
difference in the world.
And so for me, like a lot of thetimes when it comes to tools,
it's that dopamine hit.
I get this dopamine hit rightaway.
I am so excited about it.
Yes.
And when I go back to it or whenI try, or like sometimes I'll
just forget about it and that'sokay too.
But if you do have a tool thatyou've left and you wanna come
(22:00):
back to it, you can.
That's available to you.
So anyways, I had to highlightthat.
Yeah.
I was like, holy crap, thiswhole time, yes.
I've been just wearing it wrong.
yes.
Can I say something about thatactually, yes, please do.
Yeah.
So something that my coachingbrain is attending to is, it
sounds like the way you had beenwearing it before, it sounds
like there may have been asensory issue underneath that.
(22:23):
I see this with clients too,like there's often a sensory and
or processing need underneath atool not working for you.
Like an example that comes tomind is people who put reminders
on their digital calendar andthey get the popups.
But if you're not a strongvisual processor, all of those
(22:43):
alerts just fade into thebackground.
It's like noise.
So you're following advice thatworks for a lot of people, and
that is something that I thinkcalendar reminders can work for
both neurotypical and neurodivergent people, but it might
not work with your individualprocessing and sensory profile.
So that's an example where ifyou keep forcing yourself to
(23:06):
keep up with.
Appointments in exactly that waybecause you tell yourself it
should work because it works forquote unquote everybody else.
But if there's a very realreason why that doesn't work for
you, you're not honoringyourself and it's not gonna
stick.
And working with a coach allowsthem to say what's not working
(23:26):
and why?
What's the barrier there?
yes.
Yeah.
help me understand the barrier,because there's something that's
making you not wanna go back tothat.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love the coaching question ofwhat has almost worked for you
in the past, woo.
That tells you so much as acoach.
Oh my gosh, that's such a goodquestion.
Yes.
I love it.
Feel free to steal and share.
(23:47):
That's a great one.
Oh my God.
Because I don't even rememberwhere I heard that.
I think probably on a podcast.
And I think also having peoplename what doesn't work for you
is really useful.
But what almost worked for you?
I think that's really cool.
It's so interesting too becausea lot of people come to me,
they've read all the books,they've listened to all the
podcasts, they almost know moreabout organizing than I do, and
I'm like, yeah, they subscribeto all the YouTube channels.
(24:08):
Yeah.
I'm like, whoa, you guys arefans of this organizing stuff.
But so far they haven't beenable to get anything to stick.
And that's when you need a coachto drive the action, there's
something missing between Theknowledge point and the action
piece.
That's where a lot of us gethung up to is we've done all the
research and we know what to do.
(24:29):
We're so incredibly intelligentand we've not only gained the
knowledge, but now we've createdall of these new neuro pathways
to create all of these otherbeautiful and brilliant ways to
accomplish something.
But now we don't know where tostart I wanted to ask you, you
had talked about being a highlysensitive person earlier.
Can you tell us a little bitmore about.
What that actually looks like,because I've heard a lot of
(24:51):
therapists talk about it andlike I've, you tell me I'm
highly sensitive, Yeah.
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh, yes.
Yeah.
So what does it mean to be ahighly sensitive person?
Ooh, that's a good question.
And I will admit this is notsomething I have Read up on
recently, Do you wanna Googleit?
Okay, let's do it.
While you do that, I'm gonnatalk a little bit too and say I
do think, I feel a weirdpressure to cite my sources as I
(25:14):
talk about things.
And it's a balance between, Iwanna give credit to the people.
Who have come with the ideas,but I think there's also this
weird fear of I don't wantpeople to think that.
I think I came up with this ideabecause I know I didn't.
I think that's a reallyinteresting point that you bring
up because when I first enteredthe organizing world, I thought
I had to come up with my ownmethod, my own way of doing
(25:36):
things.
And everything had to be unique,this is where my political
science degree comes into play,is that all of these ancient
philosophers literally learnedfrom one another.
Plato?
To Socrates, to Aristotle.
It's a legacy.
They learned from one anotherand as they learned.
Their brains created this newway of thinking and this evolved
(25:57):
way of thinking to this pointthat yes, now we are inundated
with so much information.
And yes, there are some uniqueand beautiful ideas out there,
but we're living in this day andage where there's actually not a
ton of unique ideas anymore.
We're all getting ideas from oneanother.
And it's more just aboutsupporting one another and like
(26:19):
just by you and I having aconversation, Kate, I already
have new coaching questions toask and like I love it.
We're literally learning fromone another..
Yeah, cite the sources, cite theinformation, the studies, the
deliciousness, and yep.
There's so much to be said fromgaining this information from
reliable sources and moving onand sharing it and Letting that
(26:40):
be what we gain from it.
But I feel you on that so much.
Yeah.
Thank you for that.
So a highly sensitive person.
I just Googled this.
This is literally the AIoverview on Google.
So a highly sensitive person issomeone with a heightened
sensitivity to physical,emotional, and social stimuli.
This trait, also known assensory processing sensitivity
(27:04):
affects about 15 to 20% of thepopulation.
HSPs experience the world moredeeply leading to both
challenges and strengths.
Key characteristics areheightened sensory awareness,
easily overwhelmed by loudnoises, bright lights, strong
smells and crowded places.
Deep emotional processing,empathy and intuition.
(27:25):
Intricate inner life.
So they tend to be thoughtful.
Reflective.
Have a rich inner world.
Creativity and appreciation forbeauty.
They have a deep appreciationfor art, music, and other forms
of beauty.
My husband took me to a showlast week.
We went to see Ann Juliet inDenver, and it was.
So good.
And I'm sitting there imaginingmyself up on stage, singing and
(27:48):
dancing and I'm a part of itall.
And yeah, like that is, that'sme to a tee.
Thanks for that overview.
That kind of helped jog mymemory of, when you know
something about yourself sodeeply, you almost forget how to
define it to other peoplebecause you're so up here and
you have to verbalize it.
Oh my, yeah.
Most of us have only one brainour whole lives, and you don't
(28:09):
know what it's like in somebodyelse's brain.
For me it shows up in a coupledifferent ways.
I do think I have felt, I'verealized that something that is
just true at the core of mybeing is a deep emotional
connection to music.
and we'll see if I can talkabout this without getting
choked up, but it's okay if Ido.
Mom tells me when I was reallyyoung in church.
(28:30):
Before I could really talk muchlike I would cry silently, just
like tears coming down my faceat the somber sad music in
church.
And she said she just picked upon I could emotionally feel
music before I could talk aboutit.
And I have just always felt somuch solace in listening to
(28:53):
music.
I don't play music.
I went through a.
For a while, which we don'twanna talk about that.
But I just remember feeling notconsistently throughout
childhood, but there weredefinitely periods, particularly
in middle school, where I feltlonely and misunderstood and
music helped me feel comforted.
(29:15):
I've always had a love of deeplylistening to music and picking
apart the layers and noticingthings.
So I think I pick up on thingsthat other people wouldn't.
I also feel like I'm one ofthose people who notices subtle
shifts in other people's bodylanguage and tone of voice and
(29:37):
mood.
Which can be helpful coachingfor sure.
I read people well, on subtlelevels.
I'm definitely distracted bynoises one of the worst is if I
hear like a squeaking or abuzzing or a beeping in the
background, and I don't knowwhere it's coming from.
(30:01):
It's really hard for me to focuson anything else until I figure
out what that noise is.
I feel weather changes in mybody.
I often get really bad headacheswhen a pressure changes coming,
and that's been true for me aslong as I can remember.
I also think I'm more, in tunewith my body than some people
(30:24):
are.
I usually know when I'm gettingsick really early.
I used to get a sinus infectionevery year without fail really.
And I would go to urgent careand I would know that I had a
sinus infection too early for itto show up in the test.
I remember a couple times, likehaving to come back in two days
and then they said, oh, you havea sinus infection.
(30:46):
yes, I've known this for two orthree days.
but again, and some of thosethings I feel like I'm always
picking up on, likeenvironmental stimuli.
Is that highly sensitive?
Is that a DHD?
Is that anxiety, like I wannaknow what's gonna happen.
So I'm scanning my environment.
there's so much overlap betweenthose things and it's
(31:09):
interesting but complicated.
I feel that so much and yeah.
How does it show up for you?
what's really interesting is thelabels we feel like we need to
put on it, but also.
It just is like that is my livedexperience.
It's your lived experience.
Music is huge for me, so I havesang my whole life and what's
(31:33):
really powerful, I went toschool for music and then my dad
told me that I would never makeany money in music, and so I
switched to a business major andthen didn't know what I wanted
to do.
Finally switched to a politicalscience major, but music.
Is something I've always comeback to.
Like in my community, one of thefirst things I did was create
playlists.
I was like, oh, use these todeclutter too, because it's so
(31:56):
important you get that dopaminehit.
Even now in the world, I'mseeing all these new creators
come up with the sounds thatthey're creating with their
voices.
It's nothing like I've everheard before.
Just like our world is evolvingin thought and organization and
understanding who we are aspeople more, I also see this
(32:17):
evolution in music and theartists that are out there.
I wanna sing, but I'm like, ohmy, I don't think there's a
place for me out there anymore,but I love singing so much that
I do it regardless.
that's gonna happen.
Good, good.
Yes.
But there's something more aboutit.
It is really deeply emotionalfor me as well, when you were
talking, it reminded me aboutwhen I was younger, I made so
(32:40):
many mixed CDs.
I would make them for my sister,I would make them for my
friends, and they would becalled all the most ridiculous
things.
And yeah, that was such a funway for me to say these are all
my favorite songs right now.
I think that they should be yourfavorite songs too.
That was my love language ofgiving music, I was really into
the glee soundtracks andmusicals and things like that.
(33:01):
And some of my friends wouldmake fun of me for it.
And then I thought, I was like,oh, these aren't things that I
should be like, that's not ascool, right?
So I need to stop liking that asmuch.
I should like these things.
I think that's something that werecognize is that.
Oh, I see that you don'tnecessarily like that about me.
I don't have to like somethingjust because the world expects
(33:22):
me to like something, I don'thave to say something just
because the world accepts me tosay this because I'm actually
not gonna please everyone aroundme, in fact, I'm never going to
be able to make everyone happy,so I should just make myself
happy.
because when I'm happy, everyoneelse around me gets to be happy
too.
(33:43):
It's infectious.
But that's a beautiful thing andthat is something that is Just
beautiful.
I keep coming back to that wordabout whether it's high
sensitivity or neurodivergenceor just who you are as a person,
but like the ability to bevulnerable by showing your own
enthusiasm and helping otherpeople bring that out in
(34:04):
themselves, I think is just,it's so beautiful.
But that you're right.
Like in the end, if I enjoy it.
That's something that I really,I have figured out about myself
now that I've gotten a divorceand I'm living by myself for the
first time as an adult, but likereally getting to figure out
like what is important to me andwhat do I enjoy when I'm by
(34:25):
myself and learning to, I lovemy own company.
Love the same things that youdo.
that's just, it's a gift, it's abonus.
And it's not necessary to havepeople who like the same things
that you do.
But man, it's fun when you findthat.
my partner also really lovesmusic and he plays music.
And it's been cool because heunderstands how music is made
(34:47):
and.
The way songs are composed, butwe love making song chains, so
what we do is we make a sharedplaylist.
I thought of this when you saidmaking playlists earlier, but
like one of us will pick a songto start and then the other one
will pick a song that's similarto it in some way.
oh, like the tone of the guitarsis really similar in this second
(35:09):
song.
Or the baseline reminds me ofthis song, or.
This song is about whatever thetopic is.
Here's another one about that.
Yeah.
And we'll just build a chain andtake turns picking the songs.
But then it's a cool thing likethen when we're driving around
to listen back to these songchains that we have made.
And it's just, it's so much fun.
(35:29):
It's such a cool way to engagewith music and I love it.
That's my new favorite thing.
Great.
That's so cool.
When it comes to coaching andwhat we do.
I know that.
When I'm working with someone,they're so buried in stuff and
executive dysfunctionimpulsivity that it's hard to
truly embrace how a DHD could bea positive thing and how it can
(35:52):
be something that you can thrivewith.
Right?
Which is why like that wholesuperpower, non superpower, our
whole argument exists withcoaching.
What I've noticed is that byletting go and uncovering how to
work with your brain, you get todiscover some of these
incredible things that eitheryou did have previously or new
(36:16):
things now that, I don't have asmuch stuff in my home.
My future is so much more clearbecause I'm not holding on to my
past.
It's been really cool to seethat in so many of my clients.
And so as you see peoplediscovering how they can get a
hold of their future, what haveyou noticed for them?
(36:38):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I was thinking too about all ornothing thinking patterns which
show up so often for people witha DHD.
And about how it's natural to.
Throughout your lifetime.
Yeah, but sometimes people whoare in those all or nothing
thinking patterns, forget that.
So they think either this is alifelong hobby or if I take a
(37:02):
break from it, I'm never gonnado it again.
And of course that's not true.
What do you see when peoplestart to get a hold of how to
work with their own brain?
What kind of transformations doyou see?
And how do you see that?
Opening up their ownpossibilities of how they can
live their life to the fullest,listening to more music or like
discovering a new hobby, thingslike that.
(37:25):
I would definitely considermyself a strengths based coach.
so helping people build on theirstrengths.
And when people.
Hear that oh, capitalize on yourstrengths.
Build on your strengths.
It can sometimes be received inlike a participation trophy kind
of way of that's just somethingthat a coach does to make me
feel better about myself.
But it's not, you're right thatA DHD does present individual
(37:50):
strengths for people.
So one example is that peoplewho have DHD are often good at
recognizing patterns.
If people don't already knowthat about themselves, helping
them realize that and thenseeing how they can use that as
a way to continue learning aboutthemselves.
So like they know that they hatethe paperwork that they have to
(38:12):
do at work, but getting them topick that apart and figure out
like, what does that.
That particular dreaded task,what pattern exists there that
shows up in other places in yourlife and then getting a new lens
to understand things like, it'snot about the paperwork, it's
that I have to do it inisolation, or, somebody else
(38:36):
dictates the timeline.
I have to get that done,whatever it is, like helping
people use their strengths tofigure out what is true about
them.
Then gives them a pathway tomove forward.
And just that question of likewhen people struggle, helping
them not ask themselves What iswrong with me?
Or why can't I do this?
(38:57):
But what do I know about myselfthat is making this hard right
now?
That is such an empowering wayto think of your life, to be
able to think of.
What is true about me, not whatis wrong with me, but what is
true about me that makes thishard.
Figuring that out for themselvescan be just really empowering.
(39:19):
Yeah, and also to that point,what is true about me?
based on what I have believedabout myself for so long.
But how can I change that beliefto create a new truth?
Yeah.
And what does that look like?
What kind of action steps can Itake in that direction?
Like one of my first coachingclients ever told me I can't be
organized, so why would I eventry?
(39:41):
And it's'cause she thought thatonce she got organized, she
wasn't gonna be able to sustainit.
And so of course if you believethat, that will be your truth.
Of course, if you believe thatyou're always gonna be playing
catch up and always going to bein this zone of like constantly
go, go, go.
Or on the flip side, constantlyimmobile trying to just figure
(40:05):
out what's next, but not beingable to actually take action on
it, then that's gonna be yourtruth.
I love having a podcast'cause itjust allows us to not only talk
about what we do, but Genuinelyhow we approach the world and
the things that we truly loveabout what we do, and of course
how we live our lives.
So tell us a little bit abouthow people can work with you and
(40:26):
how people can get in touch withyou.
Sure.
Yeah.
And I wanted to say earlier,'cause I don't think I named it,
I really appreciate that yousaid, you want people to find
the right person for them.
Yeah.
And I really appreciate that andthat's important in my work too.
like sometimes we have realized.
There's actually a differenttype of coach that they need, or
(40:46):
therapy is more of a prioritythan working on executive
function coaching.
But yeah, it's really importantfor people to find what they
need in the moment.
my website is stage BF.
and that's a great place tolearn about the two main
coaching packages that I offer.
there is also a place to learnabout the events, the virtual
and in-person events, includingmy library events that I hold.
(41:09):
And I also have a pretty new.
Discord, accountabilitycommunity called the Sage
Collective.
And there's information aboutthat on my website as well.
But, I have a couple differentlevels of membership.
I have text-based only support,and we've got channels for.
Resource.
We have a hive mind channelwhere we do group
(41:31):
troubleshooting.
of course we've got memes and apets channel and a tangents
channel and stuff like that too.
But we also have, body doubling,virtual coworking that we do.
There's a two hour block everyweek.
But also the option to set upyour own coworking session at
any time.
I have office hours where peoplecan drop in for help, and I have
(41:55):
a once a month open house event,which anybody who's interested
in the community can join.
And I call that my monthly planand prep event, where we look
ahead to the next month and talkabout things that might be on
our calendars, how to plan forthem.
Birthdays we need to buy cardsfor.
if you've got vacation planningin time to get ready for that.
(42:18):
Anything like that.
Really just group brainstorming,planning to get ready for the
month ahead.
it's still pretty new, but I'mreally proud of it and I've been
getting great feedback about it.
It's so cool.
Oh my gosh.
I love so many of those ideas.
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
Thank you.
Kate, thank you so much forjoining me on the podcast.
I'm so excited to share you withmy audience and I hope you have
(42:38):
a great day.
Thank you so much.
I really enjoyed re-listening tothat episode.
There were so many nuggets ofreally great information and I
learned so much from Kate justspeaking with her.
Kate and I were talking at onepoint learning how to work with
your brain, and when it comes tothe perfect schedule, I had
talked about.
This is the schedule I'm gonnawork with every single day, and
(43:01):
it's going to be perfect.
We expect perfection fromourselves because let's be
honest, there are some dayswhere we show up and it's
absolutely incredible.
But part of our neurodivergentbrain is that we exist in a
different capacity as we show upon a regular basis.
We're gonna show up some daysand we're gonna be ready to
(43:22):
conquer the world, and we'regonna show up some days and we
can't understand why we can't dothe damn thing that we put on
our to-do list to do that day.
Sometimes it's just one thingand we're like, oh my gosh, why
can't I possibly execute this?
Understanding that aboutourselves allows us to figure
out the type of schedule thatworks for us, the type of tool
(43:45):
that works for us.
Because what's also interestingabout this is that just because
you know something works for oneA DHD brain doesn't mean that
it's gonna work for yours.
That's why when it comes tocoaching, it's not a one size
fits all.
It's not about knowing the exactprocess.
It's about understanding theperson that you're working with
so that you can help them findthe solutions that are gonna
(44:08):
work for them.
So often people come to me andthey're like, well, what do you
do?
How do you do this?
And how do you do that?
And I'll provide suggestions,absolutely.
But when I write myself helpbook, it's going to be about.
Asking yourself the question,how could this work for me?
Or based on the way that I learnthings, how might this not work
(44:28):
for me?
Could I still give it a try?
Knowing what I know andunderstanding who I am so that I
can make the next best decisionfor myself?
I find this really interestingand I didn't truly get into the
weeds with this, but I wanted toget into a little bit of the
weeds as I summarized thisbecause it is really important
when you're trying to understandwhat works for you because you
(44:52):
know it might work that you wakeup super early and it might work
that you sleep until 9:00 AM.
It just depends on who you areand what your needs are, and you
get to decide.
What works for you and let thatbe your success.
I also loved when Kate pointedout that I had a sensory issue
with my Fitbit.
(45:13):
I did have a sensory issue andhonestly, I stopped using it all
together.
Actually, in one of my webinarsthat I looked at it and I was
like, and honestly I don't evenlike it.
I tried it again.
I don't like it.
I've examined it, I've asked thequestions.
It's just not something that'sgonna work for me.
But I gave it a really good try.
There's aspects of it that I doreally like, but sensory things,
(45:33):
especially on my wrists, I'venoticed are very important.
I can't wear things on my wrist.
That's not the case foreveryone, but I now know that
about myself, and it could bethat I find something that works
a little bit differently.
That's okay too.
What's interesting aboutorganizing and coaching in the A
DHD is that the more I learn,the more I realize how much
(45:57):
there is to learn how muchinformation is out there to help
people and guide them and tosupport them in what works for
them.
Coming back to what I had saidearlier about some of my clients
that come to me and knoweverything there is to know
about organizing, but nothingworks for them.
A lot of the times we do allthis research and we're like, oh
(46:20):
my gosh, I don't know where tostart.
I don't know how to do this.
I don't know which method I'mgonna start with, and therefore
I don't know what I'm going totry first.
It's almost better that you gointo it with a blank slate
because knowing too much canprevent you from taking those
next steps.
But once you start, you start tounderstand what could work for
(46:42):
you, what could make sense, andthen you get to ask those
questions of what I like whatKate was saying.
What's something that's almostworked for you in the past and
identifying the barrier tomaking that become something
that could work so much more.
Also wasn't Kate's idea of thesong chain, the coolest idea in
the entire world.
(47:03):
I am gonna go to my Spotify,create a new playlist, and start
this with my husbandimmediately.
He loves music.
I love music, and it's somethingthat we bonded over when we
first met, I hope you all go andcheck out Kate and just
understand that there's optionsfor you out there.
I will say coaching is notalways the most affordable
(47:25):
solution, but it gives you somereally awesome updates on how to
have some guidance for thefuture, and if coaching is not
right for you financially.
Check out some of thesecommunities that are out there,
whether it's mine, whether it'sKate's, there's so many, i've
had Russ from the A DHD, bigBrother on here.
He's got an awesome community.
Find other people who havebrains that work like yours
(47:48):
because you will find that thosepeople will help lift you up and
help you understand yourself,help you celebrate yourself in a
way that you never thoughtpossible.
And we thrive when we havepraise.
It's important to recognize thepositive, as I have been
mentioning, I'm not currentlytaking on any new coaching
(48:09):
clients as I'm focusing onsupporting the amazing women and
men I'm already working withright now.
And while the A DHD organizingcommunity is closed to new
members for now.
It will reopen in the fall.
If you would like to be thefirst to know when spots open,
you can join the wait list forcoaching or the community at
(48:29):
organizing an ADHDbrain.com/community.
I'll be keeping you up to datewith anything and everything
that's going to be coming upthis fall.
Just remember that no matterwhere you are, the perfect place
to start is exactly where youare.
On that note, I'll see you nextweek.
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