April 29, 2025 • 44 mins
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In this episode, the host shares her excitement about a recent interview with Russ from ADHD Big Brother. They discuss the importance of community, especially when managing ADHD. The host also updates listeners on her personal life, including a cross-country move and how she's tackling the associated challenges. Russ and the host delve into the concept of body doubling for productivity and discuss the unique aspects and benefits of Russ's ADHD community. Additionally, the host shares upcoming changes to her own community's platform and details about coaching opportunities and other resources.
03:56 Community and Support Systems
04:42 Interview with Russ: ADHD and Community
07:01 Body Doubling and Productivity Hacks
13:53 The Power of Community in ADHD Management
21:32 The Struggle of Perfectionism
22:43 Balancing Work and Family
23:52 The Comparison Trap
24:33 Finding Your Community
25:59 The Power of Positive Thinking
31:40 Reframing Failures
32:58 Joining the ADHD Community
Join the Organizing an ADHD Brain COMMUNITY waitlist for the FALL: What is the Community?
Looking for ADHD-friendly support with decluttering, organizing, or just making life feel a little less chaotic? The new Ways To Connect page is your go-to hub for real-life tools, gentle guidance, and ways to connect—free and paid, no pressure.
The TO DO list Daily Planner is available here! TO DO List Daily Planner
The ULTIMATE Recycling & Disposal Guide: Disposal Guide
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yeti Stereo Microphone & F (00:00):
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to the show.
Thank you for your patience.
I know I didn't drop my normalshow on Monday this week.
Regardless.
I'm so excited to share with youanother interview that I had
with Russ from the A DHD BigBrother.
I interviewed him lastSeptember.
He's so comical.
So hilarious.
And today we're talking a littlebit about community.
(00:21):
In other news, in life updatenews, we are officially moving
across the country.
We are under contract on ourhouse.
We're selling it.
And I know a lot of you arelike, please keep your house,
don't sell it, right?
Like investment, all that stuff.
But ultimately.
We know we wanna move and we'rejust not ready to rent our house
out.
It's not something that is inthe cards for us.
(00:43):
And so we are going to figureout how to use our money in
other ways and figure out how tomake money in other ways and
that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
So our plan is to leaveColorado,'cause that's where we
are right now, around July, andwe'll make our way back to
Massachusetts is where we'replanning to land.
That's where I grew up.
(01:04):
And I am really excited.
We did the estimate of what itwould be to move all of our
stuff back east, and it was over$6,000.
Actually, if we didn't get ridof a darn thing, it would've
been over$10,000, almost$11,000.
That's a lot of money and notmoney that I necessarily wanna
spend on just moving stuff.
So my husband and I looked ateach other and we're like, what
(01:26):
if we sold.
Everything.
And so that is what we're doing.
It feels a little strangebecause oftentimes I talk to you
about when you're working in aspace and you're decluttering
and you're organizing, part ofit is envisioning what does it
look like at the end?
What's that end result for you?
And then you get to decide whattiny actions you can take to
(01:47):
start to build that end result.
And that's part of it, right?
And part of it is regulation andtaking care of yourself.
All this other stuff.
Now we're looking at our stuffand we're just like, oh.
How do we just let go ofeverything?
So it's a little bit at a time.
What I'm gonna do coming up heresoon in my community is take a
video of my house and where Ihave everything so you can see
(02:09):
how I have it set up right now.
And then what's really cool isas we build our home back east,
we're gonna start to be justreally super intentional about
what we buy for our house backthere.
At some points I aspire to be aminimalist.
I was talking to Dana Kay Whiteabout this, and She actually
brought this up how sometimesthat's too much.
(02:30):
It's like starting a diet andyou wanna be a bodybuilder right
away, but you're like 200 poundsoverweight.
So there's some other thingsthat need to happen first.
It's so similar in declutteringand organizing that I.
Yeah, that could be anaspiration one day, but
understanding that, take it backa few layers, take it back a few
steps, quite a few steps becauseultimately to get to that point
(02:52):
it takes work and it reallytakes time.
One of my clients, and he'slistening, he shared this
example about how when you'regrowing asparagus.
You can't just plant asparagusand get amazing asparagus in the
first year.
It actually has to, I don't knowif this is the right word,
germinate, or it has to process.
(03:13):
It has to have time to reallystart to thrive.
You can't really eat asparagusthat you are growing yourself
until three to four years in.
It takes some time.
I thought that was fascinating,but it's so similar to
organizing.
You're not growing asparagus,but you're building habits and
you're changing the way thatyou've been your entire life.
That takes time.
(03:33):
Whether you're working with acoach or you're doing it on your
own, change takes time.
It takes believing in yourself.
It takes understanding that.
You don't wanna live this wayanymore, which takes you out of
your comfort zone and puts youin a zone to grow into a new and
different person.
So anyways, we're letting go ofeverything and I am really
(03:55):
excited about it.
One of the things I'm gonna bedoing in the community this
month is doing a presentation onFacebook Marketplace.
I am.
I don't talk about this toooften on the podcast, but I'm a
Facebook marketplace queen.
Like down to what you'relisting, what to list it for,
how to speak to people, what tosay to people, and to ensure
(04:16):
that you're not gonna getscammed.
That's really important too.
But I'm gonna give apresentation on that.
But stay tuned.
I am really excited to sharewith you all of these other
eventful happenings that aregoing on in our life and trying
to figure out what's next.
Now, we are gonna be travelingback east, not with our stuff,
but we do have two kids and fouranimals.
(04:37):
So it'll be a journey and anexciting adventure On that note,
I'm really excited to welcomeRuss back to the community.
He has his own community, the ADHD, big Brother.
I've been there a couple timeshosting decluttering sessions,
body doubling sessions, andsupporting people through what
it's like to get organized withan A DHD brain.
(04:57):
But what he does in hiscommunity, he takes it to a
totally different level.
They're not just focusing onorganizing, although that's what
they did this month in theircommunity.
But he's also talking about howto get this stuff done, like the
dishes or the laundry and thingslike that.
So I'm really excited to sharethis conversation with you
today.
On that note, let's jump in.
(05:23):
I'm so excited to beinterviewing you for the podcast
again because you're, I thinkyou're the first.
Re-guest.
Oh.
Second guest.
Like person coming for a secondtime.
I know, right?
I've had intentions to havepeople back, It was so cool
'cause when I interviewed youthe first time, it was so easy.
It was so fun.
And then, we just became friendsafter that.
(05:44):
now we're friends.
And this is just what we'regonna do now.
Done and done.
Makes it easy.
Makes life really easy.
Yeah.
Okay, now we're besties.
And now let's do anotherinterview.
Now let's do it.
So I wanna tell you guys, if youhaven't heard our first
interview, Russ is one of myfavorite, A DHD humans.
So he has a podcast called ADHD, big Brother.
He talks about brain spaghettiand talks about depression in A
(06:05):
DHD and how real it is, but thenalso just like the real things
that come along with a DHD.
And he also has this incrediblecommunity called the A DHD, big
Brother, same as the podcast,where he helps people with a DHD
get shit done.
And so there's group coaching,there's like body doubling
rooms, there's all kinds ofthemed months.
It's so freaking cool.
(06:26):
And then Russ, you're also acoach, so you do a little bit of
everything and you're so fun.
I'm always talking about you.
I'm like, do you guys know Rus?
He's my friend.
And I just love that you're hereagain, so welcome.
Is there anything that I missed?
No, I'm like, I wanna meet thatguy.
I'm like, he sounds pretty cool.
Yeah, he is cool.
He's cool.
That was a really niceintroduction.
(06:47):
I appreciate that.
Heck yeah.
And by the way, we talk aboutyou all the time too.
People are always like thedecluttering sessions that
you've done in our community andthe workshops and stuff, it are
phenomenal.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's been what I love about yourcommunity.
And so to fill you guys in, Icome into Russ's community and
I'll host full body bodydoubling dec clutter of
(07:10):
sessions.
And if you're not familiar withbody doubling, I'll give you my
example.
I'd love to ask you too whatyour opinion is, but it's just
this proven technique to supportpeople, especially with A DHD to
get through doing this.
Stuff.
So if you show up and you sayyou're gonna do something,
there's something about it thathelps you get the stuff done,
even without someone twistingyour arm or telling you that you
(07:31):
have to do it.
So we do these full declutteringsessions where we talk through
letting go.
We pick a space, even I'mdecluttering at the same time
and we're just talking throughit.
And I've met some incrediblepeople in your community.
So fun.
They're so cool.
I really like them.
Yeah.
Like it's just so fun to see.
What all the A DHD people aredoing.
(07:52):
But yeah.
What is, what's, tell me aboutbody doubling in your opinion.
Yeah I'll just say, yeah, it isa great collective of people in
there, and those body doublingsessions have been awesome.
I was late to the body doublinggame, so I'll have to shout out
Rivka because Rivka has been acommunity member for I think
over a year now.
after a while being in thecommunity, she brought up Have
(08:12):
you ever heard of creating abody double room that we could
do that?
That's always open.
she had been a member of anothercommunity that did that.
And she said there was a lot ofbenefit to it.
And I was like it's really notfor me.
I don't, that's, I don't, I wasso not into body doubling.
Sure.
As, and I wanna speak to this alittle bit too,'cause about the
idea that we as ADHDers, we willpoo poh things.
(08:34):
Because we can't see themworking for us.
Because, oh, we know us.
I know me.
That won't work for me.
And so I was like, okay.
But it's, it's a paid community.
So if your customer, I guessright, if your community member
is this would be a great thingto have, you're like,
absolutely, let's go.
I'll put it up.
I probably won't use it'causeit's not for me, but I'll make
one.
(08:55):
And it is probably one of thefavorite things in the
community.
I am in there every day.
Oh, to explain the bodydoubling, I guess was the
original question though was,the phrase that I always come to
is I got it off of a researchpaper one time.
I.
That hills are never as steepwhen you walk them with a
friend.
And I think that's beautiful.
I think that's a beautiful wayto look at this.
(09:15):
Yeah.
And so we as ADHDers have a realhard time initiating tasks that
suck, that are stupid.
Yeah, for lack of a better word,they're dumb and, but they're
important.
We are wired for interest and sowe, it's a real hard slog.
So you go to these virtualrooms.
Obviously if it was in person,it would probably be even easier
(09:37):
to get done because you're bothphysically there and you're like
what We said we're gonna work onthis thing.
So I guess and you're workingside by side doesn't have to be
the same thing.
It's two people.
Spending time in the same timeworking on something and just
the fact that there's anotherbody there, there's a
psychological term for it.
(09:58):
I don't, whatever.
Yeah it's for all of us laypeople, it's just try it, you
know how you go to the gym andit's easier to do the workout
when there's a personal trainer.
Yeah.
Like you pay for people, you'rea nutritionist an organization
expert.
Seriously.
Yeah.
It's easier, like thosedeclutter sessions, right?
There's so many things that Iwould never do but having
(10:22):
somebody there and just shootingthe shit and talking while it's
happening is super helpful.
Here's a great example is, so wedid a, a declutter session on
our own a while ago.
And it was, I think it was justme and Stephanie one of our
community members.
And while we were decluttering,she was doing something in her
(10:43):
kitchen.
I think maybe it was underneaththe sink or something.
And I was doing my spice rackand that cupboard.
I just talked about this somuch, but the emotional drain
of.
Seeing that I bought like a lotof garlic powder brings up all
these triggers of oh my God, amI having dementia?
Am I gonna be like my grandma?
And am I losing my mind?
(11:04):
If I was doing that work bymyself, I would've sunk, it
would've depressed me and Iwould've stopped.
But I had Stephanie there oncamera, we're both cleaning and
going, oh my god, I'm the guythat gets eight garlic powders.
And it was less of a blow.
So it can really help lightenthe load.
(11:24):
Difficult tasks.
Does that talk about bodydoubling enough?
It's when you clone yourselfspeaking of cloning, I saw this
trick the other day of.
Have you seen so you're not onsocial media, but there's like
this meme going around that'sokay, give me your unhinged A
DHD hacks and what would you doto get things done?
And someone put in the commentslike, I have an alter ego and
(11:47):
I've named it, and that's.
The ego, or that's the personthat does all the shitty stuff.
That's the person that does allthe stuff that I don't wanna do.
I was talking to one of myclients about it the other day.
We were like, what would Frankdo because he sounds boring.
What would Frank do?
And if your name is Frank, andif you're listening to, I'm sure
you're not boring, but thisparticular Frank, all Franks are
boring.
Oh, Frank, almost a hundredpercent positive.
(12:09):
No.
Okay.
That's good to know.
Get ready for your emails.
N.
And I don't like your podcast.
Yeah.
One star review.
So body doubling has beenincredible.
It's, yeah.
I did a body doubling session inmy community the other day.
I fixed my sliding glass door,my back door.
So for an entire year I havebeen trying to push it and then
(12:30):
like I have to struggle to getit to lock, to actually get the
full door to lock.
Guess how many minutes it tookme to fix?
It took me how many you thoughtit was gonna take?
Probably five hours.
I thought I was gonna have tohire someone, I thought for
sure, something's wrong withthis door to the point that it's
warped, right?
It literally took me watching aYouTube video while I was in the
(12:52):
body doubling session and thengetting a screwdriver, and I
literally had to hold it up,screw it a couple times, and
then it works perfectly.
And my husband got home and Iwas like.
I am a champion and I cannotwait to tell you how much of a
champion I am, but it's thingslike that I wouldn't have taken
the time to do it because it Ifigured out a way to work with
(13:13):
it.
And it's like clutter.
It's all the stuff we don'twanna do.
I, it comes back to peoplesaying.
Oh my gosh, that thing that I'vebeen putting off for a year, it
only took me five minutes to do.
Yeah.
But just knowing that isn'tenough to get it done.
It's not enough to get all thethings done because Yeah, you've
got all of those little microtasks all over the place.
There's so many things that needto get done.
(13:35):
Totally.
So tell us a little bit moreabout what you do in your
community.
After this recording, I'll be inthe body double room in my
community.
We have an audio on one fordecluttering.
Cool.
But then we also have audio offone where it's just now I gotta
get my shit done.
So you type in the chat.
I'm doing this.
in the community, in general, Ithink you gotta go back to like
(13:56):
why I built the community.
Yeah.
Let me ask you that, right?
Why did you build thiscommunity?
Lemme phrase it like a DavidLetterman question.
Really interested way.
What's the origin story of thiscom?
What do you call it, a Comm cCommunity.
Yeah, group of people.
It's, I in the coaching world isit's my answer to appointment
(14:17):
amnesia, really.
Coaching is great.
So for people that can affordone-on-one coaching, it's great.
It's awesome.
You get really one-on-one directattention.
You get a thought partner andall that stuff.
You don't get a guarantee thatyou're gonna do any of the work.
not to toot my own horn, mysessions with people are very
motivating.
I get all, I get juiced up by itand they get juiced up so that
(14:37):
by the time we leave, there's acommitment and there's I'm a on
Tuesday and Thursday, I'm gonnado this, that, and that next
thing.
And it takes a while for peopleto get on the other end of A DHD
got me again, A DHD got meagain.
And you're like, okay, great.
Know we gotta get over thathurdle.
Community is the answer for thatforgetfulness that we have for
(15:00):
that that feeling of likeisolation of worthlessness that
we have of I can't do anything.
I'm a loser.
And it attacks in a shame-freeway.
The remedial, the easy, allthose things that we know that
we can do on our own, but thatwe're not.
I built a community based on, itwas also on a, an addiction quit
(15:23):
group that I was a part of yearsago.
Really getting over nicotine.
Yeah.
And we were, you just post everyday.
Nicotine, it was like, no matterwhat, one day at a time, right?
No matter what, I'm not gonnachew today, come hell or high
water, I'm not chewing.
And then you go in and you justare like, I hate this.
I'm mad.
Everybody's a asshole.
I, maybe I'm the asshole.
(15:43):
It was like, together we are allgoing through this painful
process and quitting, and Iwanted that for A DHD and for
getting shit done.
So how can we, no matter whathappens, what are we gonna
commit to achieving today?
And knowing that we're postingthat to a group of fellow
(16:04):
ADHDers, shame free.
You can say, I'm gonna fold twopieces of articles of clothing
today.
Yeah.
And that's it.
And we gamify it with daystreaks.
And if you get to a hundreddays, you're a school spaghetti
master.
And we have, we have people inour community.
Stephanie, shout out toStephanie, who's over a year in
a row of doing every day like400 days in a row.
(16:28):
What of doing the thing that shesaid she was gonna do.
Wow.
Some days it's five things.
I'm gonna do these five and somedays it's like I got nothing in
the tank.
I'm going to read in my hammocktoday.
That's my what I'm going to do.
We can do this stuff.
Like my mentor Dana Rayburn hercatchphrase, it's not a
catchphrase, it's the, we can dohard things.
(16:48):
Yeah.
And we make things hard that weknow, are easy.
So what is our A DHD way ofdoing what we perceive the
normies doing?
Super easy.
Yeah.
And I think.
It is imperative, especially atfirst when we're trying to
manage our A DHD that we do itin a community or we do it
(17:10):
together.
Yeah.
And I think the proof is in thepudding on that.
Like the proof is in thecommunity, people that show up
are doing shit.
And here's another case in pointthe whole point of it all right,
is to show up and publicly failat the thing that we say we're
gonna do.
And know that I'm not gonna bejudged.
(17:31):
I said I was gonna do thedishes.
I didn't do the dishes.
I feel like a piece of shit.
Am I a piece of shit?
No, you're not.
What got in the way.
And it's like this groupcoaching of people saying, this
is what I do.
This is what you might thinkabout doing.
And it's people showing back upand saying, okay, gonna do the
dishes today's the day I'm gonnado the dishes.
Here's why I didn't do'emyesterday.
I totally forgot, okay, how am Igonna remember?
(17:53):
And it's literally a DHDcoaching.
Supremely low priced A DHDcoaching for multiple people.
It's a no brainer to me, but Oh,it's so cool.
I just love what you're doing.
'cause right now you're in yourgroup, you're doing a 30 day
decluttering challenge for themonth of April.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Part of what makes the communityawesome is A DHD people are
(18:14):
super creative.
Yeah.
We are the best of coming upwith cool shit.
One member brought in a 30 daydecluttering challenge.
So every day it's like some,somebody's process.
I don't know whose process itis, it's a PDF that she shared
and cool.
It's every day is a thing.
So then you post and you'relike, okay, today's day five.
I'm clearing out my car, theseare things I would never do.
(18:38):
Like I, I have deleted all theapps on my phone.
I have one page of apps, by theway.
That's amazing.
That's a flex.
I have one page, zero games onmy phone.
That's crazy.
Zero social media on my phone.
Wow.
And another part of that is Jenis a member of our community
who's brilliant at.
(19:00):
The graphics design work on thisis brilliant.
She created a game of to help uswith our doom scrolling and so
you get points for variousthings that you're doing that
are anti doom scrolling.
Cool.
And it's I'm doing it for thepoints.
I told my girlfriend, I waslike, okay, I have Instagram I
have Instagram on my phone justas a watcher.
(19:22):
Because like my girlfriendshares recipe things with me.
Should we make this for dinner?
I deleted it.
I'm like, I'm so sorry, but Ineed these points.
Yeah.
I'm meant to win the game.
So I don't have, I get 750points a day for this shit.
I am sorry.
We're gonna have to communicatein another way about rest.
Yeah.
We have to find a different wayto connect.
And I, yeah, I've been workingon my own doom scrolling.
(19:43):
I'm trying to figure out how tobe off social media altogether.
Yeah, I deleted Facebook and nowit's just like.
How do I communicate or get theinformation that I want and need
and connect with people in a waythat's not on social media and
I've been longing for this for areally long time, so I think
having a game is so brilliantbecause I've tried a lot of
(20:06):
different apps.
I really want them to work, butit's also like that intention
behind it and really wanting itbecause then like when I am in a
dysregulated state, I gostraight from my phone.
And to decompress, to numb out.
But that's not necessarily thehealthy way I wanna do it, so
That's so freaking cool.
When I first got diagnosed withA DHD, it wasn't until I started
(20:27):
reading books about people whohad a DHD and learning about
their own lived experiences thatI started to feel seen for the
first time and started to feel,yeah.
Understood in a way that Ididn't have to prove myself and
I didn't have to explain why Iwas late or why I couldn't
remember people's birthdays orall of these different things.
So yeah, getting in front ofpeople with a DHD and knowing
(20:51):
that they have the same brain asyou just helps you feel like you
don't have to prove yourself.
Yeah, you can show up.
Know that you have a lot ofsimilar.
Struggles so that you can get infront of it in a way that feels
like you're not doing it alone.
Because when you're doing italone, oh man, it's isolating.
It's so isolating.
Big time.
And don't you like I find thisbig time I wasn't diagnosed
(21:12):
until I was 40.
Yeah, and I'm 49 right now, butlike in my thirties and stuff
everything about me was, I gottado this on my own.
I'm a grown man and I can doright.
And so everything was aboutisolating and cocooning and
going, okay, I'm gonna just goaway and I'm gonna transform on
my own.
And then I'll emerge thisbutterfly and people will see me
and I'll be like, look, I got myshit together.
Look at me.
(21:33):
And it's never, it's like agnarled butterfly with a half
broken wing and you're like, ohshit, I gotta go back in the
cocoon.
This is the thing that communityhelps us with.
It gets us on the other end of,you don't have to do it by
yourself, and it's often notpossible to do it by ourselves.
Totally.
I don't know if you could relateto this, but I have this thing
where I have this amazing daywhere I've done everything.
(21:56):
I've gotten so much done andthen I'm like, I've figured it
out I conquered my brain.
I just need to do that day forall the rest of the days.
And then I don't recreate it.
And then I'm struggling torecreate this perfect day that I
had and I'm not doing it.
And, it's because that's the waythat my brain works.
(22:18):
And it's accepting that throughunderstanding I'm gonna show up
differently every single daybased on, how I slept the night
before, what's going on in mylife, how my working memory is
supporting me or not supportingme.
There's so many things that gointo it, but even just
understanding or being remindedthat it's not going to be.
Perfect.
(22:38):
Every single day like I used toduring Covid or even not during
Covid.
Whenever I would have my kidshome and I was working in the
corporate world, I would belike, it's fine.
I can work.
I can work totally fine, andthey can also be home.
And I can do all the things.
I literally tried to do this somany times, even working like
(22:58):
building my business.
I'm like, they, they'll be home,they'll be outside.
Like I'll feed them and it'll beperfect because they'll see mom
working and it's always hell,every time I'm like, maybe if I
go about it differently, so I'msaying this to say.
I think it's so good to seeother people struggling too with
those same things so that we canremind each other Hey, what if
(23:19):
you came up with somethingrealistic?
What if your kids were home andyou did take some time out of
your day to actually spend timewith them?
And so then when you're sittingthem in front of the TV for two
hours while you're trying to getstuff done, you feel fine about
it because you guys just wentand did a nature walk for two
hours.
So Totally.
It's like just understandingthat there's balance that you
(23:39):
can create.
It's just sometimes we try to doit all, but when everything is
important, nothing is importantand can all fall to the wayside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes those perspectives arehard to have when you're by
yourself.
Like when you don't have anybodyto bounce that off of and you
think everybody else seems to bedoing things perfectly well and
finding good, why am I not doingeverything perfectly well and
(24:02):
finding good all the time?
And then by comparison, peoplesay, not to compare yourself to
other people, but that is howsocieties work.
That's like how we are.
Yeah.
That's one of my biggesttakeaways from some
organizational psychologyclasses I was in was like,
that's how people look aroundand go, how is everybody?
Hey, behaving in our society?
Yeah.
How might I behave?
(24:23):
And then they go, oh, so we.
We just do shit.
Okay.
So we do the dishes we dolaundry.
These are responsibilities thatwe suck up and do.
Why can't I do that?
I guess I'm not a good member ofour society or it's, we need to
be around our own skullspaghetti people, our own brain
people.
Yeah.
So that we can go, what's normalfor us.
(24:45):
Usually it's chaos and it's likeI operate under high urgency.
Then we as a group go, okay, weneed to do these things that
these normies are doingapparently really easy.
What's our way to do thatwithout feeling like we're
idiots about it?
I'm gonna go on passionatetangents and it's always gonna
(25:07):
come back to fucking laundrymag.
Yeah.
I work on decluttering andorganizing and some people are
like, I really wanna, like, howdo you do your laundry?
And I'm like.
My, my husband does all of it.
So I, you delegate, delegate.
So that's he's a champion andthat's the job he's taken.
So I don't have to do it.
So wow.
I don't know.
I highly recommend it.
(25:27):
It's amazing.
but you know, the comparisonthing.
'cause I was thinking about thatliterally yesterday.
So I love that you brought it upbecause I do think that age old
phrase, comparison is the thiefof joy.
Yes.
In some cases, right?
It's the thief of joy.
When you are just starting abusiness and you look at someone
who's had a business for 10years and then you start to
shame yourself because you'renot where they are.
(25:49):
Duh.
Obviously you're not where theyare because they have done so
much more behind the scenes.
It has taken them years to getto where they are now.
But it is amazing to start tocompare yourself, to understand
how other people operate andwhat you could do to get where
you want to go and to start tosay, okay.
If they did it this way, Iwonder how I could make that fit
(26:12):
into my life.
Because I think when it comes tocomparison, even just reading
self-help books or understandinghow to get stuff done, no matter
what, it's never gonna look thesame for you.
It's never going to be like, oh,I followed these instructions
perfectly and now it's working.
No, it's, I've followed theseinstructions the way I would see
them working and it either worksor it doesn't, I think the
(26:33):
comparison is It is important tosee what other people are doing.
'cause that's how we learn,that's how we learn how to react
to people.
That's how we learn what's funnyand what's not funny, right?
It's how we learn what thesocietal norms are.
It's natural to see what otherpeople are doing.
And to say, okay, how do I fitin there?
But.
With a DHD, it's different.
And so you've gotta understandthat the way that you're going
(26:54):
to operate in this world isgoing to be different.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
Yeah.
It's just about, you gotta findother people that are doing it
your way too.
Yeah, because then it feelsbetter.
I have this my history comesthere.
There's a lot of I'm not goodenough, and there's
self-loathing that comes withthat.
And it's almost like that, thereticular activator thing,
right?
Where if I'm thinking a certainway, you know that thing where
you're like, oh, if you're, I'mgonna buy a Volkswagen bug.
(27:16):
And so then you just startseeing them everywhere.
Yes.
Yeah it's like that, but forlike proof that I'm a piece of
garbage, right?
That self-loathing I am comingfrom a place of self-loathing,
so I'm always looking for data.
Not me personally.
I'm not trying to look for it,but my brain will be like, oh,
look at all these reasons whyyou're not like that person.
'cause they're better than you.
You're not like that person.
They're more successful thanyou.
(27:37):
So here you wanted to proof thatyou're no good.
The brain is just doing its job.
I'm like, oh God, brain shutoff.
But it's coming back to thatmanifestation thing is like
thoughts become things.
Yes.
What you think about it stemsfrom your beliefs.
And if you genuinely believethat you can't do a certain
thing, like what you saidearlier too, you're like, that's
not gonna work for me.
(27:58):
You've already decided I can'tdo things.
I believe I can't do somethinglike that, and so therefore I'm
gonna decide already that'snever gonna work for me.
But because you already thinkthis about yourself, you do, you
look for the evidence.
But I think that's what's coolabout working in a DHD groups is
that you then start tounderstand that you can do this.
I did a podcast interview thismorning and she was like what's
(28:22):
one of the coolest things aboutThe mindset shift that you see
when you're coaching someone andI'm like, oh.
When they finally start tobelieve that they can actually
do it.
Oh, it's so cool.
It's just like the seeing itinside themselves and then
there's regression, right?
They go back and they're like,oh, maybe I can't, but yeah, I
can, but maybe I can't.
But yes, I absolutely can.
(28:43):
It's like that internal battleof getting to this other side.
But when you finally realize youcan do it, you start to see the
evidence more and more.
It's look for the butterflies.
Have you ever heard of thatphrase?
I probably brought it up before,but when you are intentional
about like looking for somethingspecific hey, I tell me how many
butterflies you see this week.
(29:03):
Now you're gonna be looking forthe butterflies.
Whereas right, in most of yourlife, you're just gonna go along
and maybe look for the assholesbecause you believe that most
people are assholes, right?
But intentionally looking forthe good.
Look for the helpers, look forthe people that are smiling.
My gosh, like when you put yourintentions into that, you're
gonna find that and you're gonnasee the evidence all around you.
(29:23):
And it's beautiful.
It's really neat.
You made me think of a challengefor the community.
Let's bring this back tocommunity.
Let's, yeah.
So if there's a challenge,right?
This is how my brain works.
I turn everything into a game.
Yeah.
And to be like, okay, what's thecompetition?
The game is that you all agreeon something positive that
you're gonna look at for theweek.
So then it's top of mind everyday in the daily accountability,
(29:44):
right?
And then you go, okay, so I'mgonna look for, what are my
butterflies?
The challenge would be lookingfor the butterflies or something
like that, right?
Yeah, totally.
You spend an entire week going,how many kind people can you get
in touch with or can you meet?
Or how many people can you getto smile like in, in a week or
something like that?
And then you tally it, so you'realways like, I got three more
(30:06):
today.
And now you're actually goingafter it, right?
Not because you're going after asmile, but because you're going
after a number in a game thatyou're playing with somebody
else.
That's a great idea.
I love it.
Can I call it the Megs butterflychallenge?
I would be honored.
I think people will eat that upin the community.
They, that challenges areawesome.
(30:27):
They're great.
And.
It's just about when you startto reframe things in the way
that you wanna see them.
I'll give you an example of likereal life.
So we had this interview thismorning and I had this great
idea.
I was like, what if we had abunch of people watching our
interview?
Wouldn't that be so cool?
And then we could fieldquestions from the audience.
I sent out one email to mycommunity and was like, let's do
(30:49):
this.
Guess what?
Nobody read that or saw it ordid anything with it.
And so initially they're likenot interested in that Russ guy.
He curses too much and I don'tthink he takes life serious.
Exactly.
Wow.
That's actually what people toldme in their brain.
initially I was coming into thismeeting, I'm like.
Russ is probably gonna be sodisappointed in me.
(31:10):
Like I said, I had this greatidea you probably didn't even
remember.
But like I'm creating this storyabout what it was.
But the truth of the matter, thefacts of the matter is that I
wanted to do this.
I didn't have a plan.
I executed one email and we knowYeah.
That we need lots of remindersand lots of support and lots of
things telling us whensomething's happening in order
(31:32):
to make room for it.
Yeah.
Also, people are busy.
And therefore it didn't work outin the way that I originally
wanted it to.
So instead of shaming myself, Ilooked for what could I do
differently next time?
There's a whole bunch of thingsI could do differently next
time.
Yep.
And like ultimately, we're stillhaving this really cool
interview that people are gonnalisten to.
And it's gonna be awesome Andsorry you missed my one email
(31:55):
everyone I think it's just aboutreframing the way that we see
ourselves and being allowed todo that.
It comes back from the way wesaw ourselves our whole lives.
I know I've always been so usedto putting myself down and it
wasn't until the last five yearsthat I've really worked on
building myself up instead.
Oh, that's rad.
Yeah, kick ass.
I think a lot of these thingstoo, the, in our business is
(32:17):
trial and error.
Yeah.
We get great ideas all the time.
I'm like, this would be superawesome.
Wouldn't it be fun?
And then it's like crickets.
And you're like, oh,historically this was me 10
years ago.
Because I've done this plenty.
I'm not even saying this isabout this today's event.
Yeah.
I've done so many things whereI'm the only one that showed up.
And I'm by myself going, do Ikeep recording?
(32:39):
Am I guess I'm just gonna starttalking about seaweed But like
you learn from those things.
Yeah.
And like at the core issomething important.
Yeah.
So I have a friend of mine,she's like, it's just collecting
data.
You're just collecting data onthe stuff you're doing.
And it really that's really whatit comes down to.
So tell us more about like, howpeople can join your community,
(33:01):
what that looks like.
Give us all the deets.
Oh, here's the dates.
By joining, by Jan, Oh yeah.
Radio host.
Absolutely.
Radio pause for commercial.
Are you down in the dumps?
Do you, having trouble gettingstarted.
Why don't you look into the ADHDBig Brother?
it's a really easy process tojoin.
It's, you join, you getonboarded.
(33:21):
There's a few videos.
'cause when you join acommunity, you want to know
what's the culture, how does itwork?
What are the rituals?
How do you even use theplatform?
And so you're on circle now,right?
Community.
So come on, let's go Circle isthe platform that we use.
It's super awesome and when youjoin, you go through the
onboarding videos to tell youhow to do it.
(33:42):
And then at the end I give you achecklist of a couple things to
do, post a win.
It explains the spaces right,and how you can get along.
And then I do a free coachingcall with everybody once they're
done onboarding.
So just to get FaceTime, I wantto meet you.
I want to know who the hell youare.
Yeah.
And then I want to be there tobe like, oh, if you're
(34:05):
struggling, like this is myparticular A DHD hurdle, I'll
give you like that coachingstart to be like, try this
space.
Try the, where does it hurtspace.
We have spaces that are designedto be like, oh, you have trouble
getting started.
Here's all the webinars thatwe've done on that.
Here's the posts, here's somestrategies.
Here's where in the communityyou can take action on that.
(34:27):
Like the organization we haveyour, the in, in the
organization space, the Megs.
Declutter sessions, Meg'swebinar.
And then do you have a wholespace in your community
dedicated to me?
I should change the name toMeg's organization Center.
That's so cool.
All the stuff is cool.
My community is not built.
(34:48):
For Hey, let's just all talkabout how hard life is and let's
just be relatable to each other.
That's intrinsic.
That happens.
You're going to get that.
But it's like you can join aFacebook group.
You can join free places allover the place to be like, Hey
isn't this funny?
Or isn't this hard?
My community is made for thedoing of the work.
So the thing where you've doneall the research you've you're
(35:10):
in therapy, you're going to an ADHD coach, but you're not doing
the work.
You're not doing the work of thebook, you're not doing the work
of your therapist, you're notdoing the work of your A DHD
coach.
We have a platform built to makeit as easy as possible to do the
work, and we will help hold youaccountable, which is glorious.
(35:31):
That's so cool.
Yeah.
You even have a spot foraccountability buddies, right?
Yes.
This is what it's all about.
We have an accountability buddyspace where you can put on a
Google sheet your name, the kindof accountability you're looking
for, and then other people willanother member will join, and
then I call it a 30 dayrelationship, I think is good.
Yeah.
then I give you methodologiesquestions to ask each other on
(35:52):
your accountability sessions.
And then we have a publicmeeting room that you can book
out for free to have your Zoommeetings if you don't have it on
your own.
Oh.
That way.
And I like, cool.
30 days is good, right?
'cause if it's a shittyrelationship, you're like, I
don't like this person.
And then you're like, okay,that's fine.
Cool.
Your 30 days is up and then moveon, or whatever.
Yeah.
That the accountability it iseverything.
(36:14):
Yeah.
External accountability.
If I share with your audienceone thing that I think is
imperative in getting your shittogether with a DHD, it's
externalizing youraccountability.
If at first, get rid of thementality that.
I gotta be able to do this on myown.
I, we all know you can do it onyour own.
(36:36):
I can do laundry on my own andthe dishes on my own, but if I'm
not doing it, then something ismissing.
Get with a buddy, this isliterally the magical elixir of
ADHD.
That's that's everyone'smissing.
Oh no.
I'm sure there's a book outthere I can read.
There's a book out there that'sgonna solve everything and
everything's gonna click, andthen I'm gonna be able to move
forward.
(36:57):
I love the body double room.
I love knowing that I'm sloggingthrough something and somebody
else is getting their work done,and I get to be a part of their
success.
There's something magical aboutthat.
So I like giving up the ideathat maybe I can do the laundry
on my own.
But I do think that a lot ofpeople aspire to try to do it on
(37:17):
their own and they think thatthey should have to do it on
their own.
And asking for help is anegative thing sometimes.
But it's not, in fact, askingfor help and removing the
barriers.
Like I know when my husbandhelps me do something, like if
he just does one step of it, Ican do the rest so much easier.
Even like my personal assistant,like when she does one thing,
(37:40):
I'm able to do all the rest ofit because she has removed a
barrier for me.
She has removed one of the stepsfrom me having to accomplish it
and just being in a room full ofpeople removes the step of
actually getting yourself to thejob.
That's the barrier.
You are now in it like you arefacing me uncomfortable with
everyone else, but you'reuncomfortable together instead
(38:00):
of having to do it on your own.
So that's awesome.
Yeah, it's really freaking cool.
I'm so pumped about yourcommunity.
I think it's amazing.
It's award-winning and yes, onengagement heck yeah.
That's so legit.
And so if you're ready to join,I'm gonna put everything in the
show notes below so that you cancome check out Russ and see what
(38:21):
he has to offer.
To see what you've been able tocreate and the people that are
in the community, like what anincredible space for people to
go and get things done and toask questions and to feel
normal.
It's just, it's it's really coolwhat you've done.
And I'm really proud of you.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Yeah.
If people don't know or theywant talk before about the
community you can put theCalendly link for a 30 minute
(38:43):
call.
Oh, cool.
And I'll just shoot the shitwith people.
Everybody on the planet gets onefree 30 minute call if they want
to just.
Talk.
And it doesn't have to be aboutcoaching, I'm happy to, I'll
talk all day long about thiscommunity.
I love that.
That's really cool that youoffer that.
Thanks Megs thanks for beinghere, Russ.
Yeti Stereo Microphone & (39:03):
Wasn't that so awesome?
I love the passion with whichRuss talks about his community.
He has been building it and likethe people he's talking about, I
know them.
They're so cool.
There's incredible humans inthere, and it's just so fun to
see all of these incredible ADHD brains out there thriving
and figuring out how to do thestuff that is mundane is not
(39:24):
fun.
So to join Russ's community,just go to the show notes below,
or go to adhd big brother.comand you can join his community
there.
I know he also has a ton ofreally cool stuff like free
events if you're not ready tojoin yet, but you can see what
it's all about.
So you can get an idea if thisis the space for you.
Also, I have a message forJanine who left me a podcast
(39:47):
review back on April 6th.
You had me cracking up.
So here's the review.
I like listening to this podcastwhile cleaning and doing
laundry.
The information is helpful andnot just for a DHD.
The in the interviews and topicsare excellent.
That said, for the sake of allthat is good in the world,
(40:09):
please edit the volume so thatthe cutaways for the reviews are
not screaming into my ears.
Okay.
Fair enough.
I had no idea.
So thank you so much.
I was laughing because.
The art with which you wrote,that was beautiful.
And I heard you loud and cleareven though you didn't actually
say it out loud.
(40:29):
And I immediately took it outbecause I didn't know how to
edit for volume.
So while I'm incredible atorganizing, I'm still learning
this whole podcast thing and allof the video editing and sound
editing stuff.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
If you guys have feedback,please share it with me.
I am a solo woman over heredoing my thing.
(40:50):
I do have a business supportmanager who helps me with
marketing and I have abookkeeper, but other than that,
it's mostly me over here.
So if you have feedback, let meknow.
And if it's positive feedbackand and you do want to share a
review, please do.
Otherwise, you can just email meor go get the dopamine menu and
put your feedback in the requestfor the dopamine menu.
(41:12):
That's easy too.
Super quick announcement aboutthe community.
I am transitioning over toCircle, which is so A DHD
Friendly.
That's where the A DHD BigBrother is housed, and it's just
really awesome.
I'm so excited to be moving mycommunity over there.
That said, if you decide to joinmy community before May 2nd,
(41:33):
you'll still get the communityprice of$27 a month.
And actually when we move thecommunity over to circle, you'll
get grandfathered into thatprice.
So anyone in the community rightnow, we'll just keep that price
forever because why not?
That's really cool.
Then I am going to be launchingthe New Circle community on May
(41:53):
15th, so stay tuned for that.
I'll be sharing a bunch ofinformation on my email list, so
when you sign up for thedopamine menu, just check,
subscribe, and I'll just keepyou in the loop.
I try not to be annoying, but ifit's not for you, just on
subscribe.
Super easy.
And right now for the month ofMay, I only have two coaching
spots available.
So if you are interested andyou're ready to get started,
(42:15):
just book a call in the shownotes below, and I can't wait to
talk to you on that note.
Have an incredible week andthank you again for your
patience this week.
Hey, beautiful people.
Welcome back to the show.
Thank you for your patience.
I know I didn't drop my normalshow on Monday this week.
Regardless.
I'm so excited to share with youanother interview that I had
with Russ from the A DHD BigBrother.
I interviewed him lastSeptember.
He's so comical.
So hilarious.
And today we're talking a littlebit about community.
(00:21):
In other news, in life updatenews, we are officially moving
across the country.
We are under contract on ourhouse.
We're selling it.
And I know a lot of you arelike, please keep your house,
don't sell it, right?
Like investment, all that stuff.
But ultimately.
We know we wanna move and we'rejust not ready to rent our house
out.
It's not something that is inthe cards for us.
(00:43):
And so we are going to figureout how to use our money in
other ways and figure out how tomake money in other ways and
that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
So our plan is to leaveColorado,'cause that's where we
are right now, around July, andwe'll make our way back to
Massachusetts is where we'replanning to land.
That's where I grew up.
(01:04):
And I am really excited.
We did the estimate of what itwould be to move all of our
stuff back east, and it was over$6,000.
Actually, if we didn't get ridof a darn thing, it would've
been over$10,000, almost$11,000.
That's a lot of money and notmoney that I necessarily wanna
spend on just moving stuff.
So my husband and I looked ateach other and we're like, what
(01:26):
if we sold.
Everything.
And so that is what we're doing.
It feels a little strangebecause oftentimes I talk to you
about when you're working in aspace and you're decluttering
and you're organizing, part ofit is envisioning what does it
look like at the end?
What's that end result for you?
And then you get to decide whattiny actions you can take to
(01:47):
start to build that end result.
And that's part of it, right?
And part of it is regulation andtaking care of yourself.
All this other stuff.
Now we're looking at our stuffand we're just like, oh.
How do we just let go ofeverything?
So it's a little bit at a time.
What I'm gonna do coming up heresoon in my community is take a
video of my house and where Ihave everything so you can see
(02:09):
how I have it set up right now.
And then what's really cool isas we build our home back east,
we're gonna start to be justreally super intentional about
what we buy for our house backthere.
At some points I aspire to be aminimalist.
I was talking to Dana Kay Whiteabout this, and She actually
brought this up how sometimesthat's too much.
(02:30):
It's like starting a diet andyou wanna be a bodybuilder right
away, but you're like 200 poundsoverweight.
So there's some other thingsthat need to happen first.
It's so similar in declutteringand organizing that I.
Yeah, that could be anaspiration one day, but
understanding that, take it backa few layers, take it back a few
steps, quite a few steps becauseultimately to get to that point
(02:52):
it takes work and it reallytakes time.
One of my clients, and he'slistening, he shared this
example about how when you'regrowing asparagus.
You can't just plant asparagusand get amazing asparagus in the
first year.
It actually has to, I don't knowif this is the right word,
germinate, or it has to process.
(03:13):
It has to have time to reallystart to thrive.
You can't really eat asparagusthat you are growing yourself
until three to four years in.
It takes some time.
I thought that was fascinating,but it's so similar to
organizing.
You're not growing asparagus,but you're building habits and
you're changing the way thatyou've been your entire life.
That takes time.
(03:33):
Whether you're working with acoach or you're doing it on your
own, change takes time.
It takes believing in yourself.
It takes understanding that.
You don't wanna live this wayanymore, which takes you out of
your comfort zone and puts youin a zone to grow into a new and
different person.
So anyways, we're letting go ofeverything and I am really
(03:55):
excited about it.
One of the things I'm gonna bedoing in the community this
month is doing a presentation onFacebook Marketplace.
I am.
I don't talk about this toooften on the podcast, but I'm a
Facebook marketplace queen.
Like down to what you'relisting, what to list it for,
how to speak to people, what tosay to people, and to ensure
(04:16):
that you're not gonna getscammed.
That's really important too.
But I'm gonna give apresentation on that.
But stay tuned.
I am really excited to sharewith you all of these other
eventful happenings that aregoing on in our life and trying
to figure out what's next.
Now, we are gonna be travelingback east, not with our stuff,
but we do have two kids and fouranimals.
(04:37):
So it'll be a journey and anexciting adventure On that note,
I'm really excited to welcomeRuss back to the community.
He has his own community, the ADHD, big Brother.
I've been there a couple timeshosting decluttering sessions,
body doubling sessions, andsupporting people through what
it's like to get organized withan A DHD brain.
(04:57):
But what he does in hiscommunity, he takes it to a
totally different level.
They're not just focusing onorganizing, although that's what
they did this month in theircommunity.
But he's also talking about howto get this stuff done, like the
dishes or the laundry and thingslike that.
So I'm really excited to sharethis conversation with you
today.
On that note, let's jump in.
(05:23):
I'm so excited to beinterviewing you for the podcast
again because you're, I thinkyou're the first.
Re-guest.
Oh.
Second guest.
Like person coming for a secondtime.
I know, right?
I've had intentions to havepeople back, It was so cool
'cause when I interviewed youthe first time, it was so easy.
It was so fun.
And then, we just became friendsafter that.
(05:44):
now we're friends.
And this is just what we'regonna do now.
Done and done.
Makes it easy.
Makes life really easy.
Yeah.
Okay, now we're besties.
And now let's do anotherinterview.
Now let's do it.
So I wanna tell you guys, if youhaven't heard our first
interview, Russ is one of myfavorite, A DHD humans.
So he has a podcast called ADHD, big Brother.
He talks about brain spaghettiand talks about depression in A
(06:05):
DHD and how real it is, but thenalso just like the real things
that come along with a DHD.
And he also has this incrediblecommunity called the A DHD, big
Brother, same as the podcast,where he helps people with a DHD
get shit done.
And so there's group coaching,there's like body doubling
rooms, there's all kinds ofthemed months.
It's so freaking cool.
(06:26):
And then Russ, you're also acoach, so you do a little bit of
everything and you're so fun.
I'm always talking about you.
I'm like, do you guys know Rus?
He's my friend.
And I just love that you're hereagain, so welcome.
Is there anything that I missed?
No, I'm like, I wanna meet thatguy.
I'm like, he sounds pretty cool.
Yeah, he is cool.
He's cool.
That was a really niceintroduction.
(06:47):
I appreciate that.
Heck yeah.
And by the way, we talk aboutyou all the time too.
People are always like thedecluttering sessions that
you've done in our community andthe workshops and stuff, it are
phenomenal.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's been what I love about yourcommunity.
And so to fill you guys in, Icome into Russ's community and
I'll host full body bodydoubling dec clutter of
(07:10):
sessions.
And if you're not familiar withbody doubling, I'll give you my
example.
I'd love to ask you too whatyour opinion is, but it's just
this proven technique to supportpeople, especially with A DHD to
get through doing this.
Stuff.
So if you show up and you sayyou're gonna do something,
there's something about it thathelps you get the stuff done,
even without someone twistingyour arm or telling you that you
(07:31):
have to do it.
So we do these full declutteringsessions where we talk through
letting go.
We pick a space, even I'mdecluttering at the same time
and we're just talking throughit.
And I've met some incrediblepeople in your community.
So fun.
They're so cool.
I really like them.
Yeah.
Like it's just so fun to see.
What all the A DHD people aredoing.
(07:52):
But yeah.
What is, what's, tell me aboutbody doubling in your opinion.
Yeah I'll just say, yeah, it isa great collective of people in
there, and those body doublingsessions have been awesome.
I was late to the body doublinggame, so I'll have to shout out
Rivka because Rivka has been acommunity member for I think
over a year now.
after a while being in thecommunity, she brought up Have
(08:12):
you ever heard of creating abody double room that we could
do that?
That's always open.
she had been a member of anothercommunity that did that.
And she said there was a lot ofbenefit to it.
And I was like it's really notfor me.
I don't, that's, I don't, I wasso not into body doubling.
Sure.
As, and I wanna speak to this alittle bit too,'cause about the
idea that we as ADHDers, we willpoo poh things.
(08:34):
Because we can't see themworking for us.
Because, oh, we know us.
I know me.
That won't work for me.
And so I was like, okay.
But it's, it's a paid community.
So if your customer, I guessright, if your community member
is this would be a great thingto have, you're like,
absolutely, let's go.
I'll put it up.
I probably won't use it'causeit's not for me, but I'll make
one.
(08:55):
And it is probably one of thefavorite things in the
community.
I am in there every day.
Oh, to explain the bodydoubling, I guess was the
original question though was,the phrase that I always come to
is I got it off of a researchpaper one time.
I.
That hills are never as steepwhen you walk them with a
friend.
And I think that's beautiful.
I think that's a beautiful wayto look at this.
(09:15):
Yeah.
And so we as ADHDers have a realhard time initiating tasks that
suck, that are stupid.
Yeah, for lack of a better word,they're dumb and, but they're
important.
We are wired for interest and sowe, it's a real hard slog.
So you go to these virtualrooms.
Obviously if it was in person,it would probably be even easier
(09:37):
to get done because you're bothphysically there and you're like
what We said we're gonna work onthis thing.
So I guess and you're workingside by side doesn't have to be
the same thing.
It's two people.
Spending time in the same timeworking on something and just
the fact that there's anotherbody there, there's a
psychological term for it.
(09:58):
I don't, whatever.
Yeah it's for all of us laypeople, it's just try it, you
know how you go to the gym andit's easier to do the workout
when there's a personal trainer.
Yeah.
Like you pay for people, you'rea nutritionist an organization
expert.
Seriously.
Yeah.
It's easier, like thosedeclutter sessions, right?
There's so many things that Iwould never do but having
(10:22):
somebody there and just shootingthe shit and talking while it's
happening is super helpful.
Here's a great example is, so wedid a, a declutter session on
our own a while ago.
And it was, I think it was justme and Stephanie one of our
community members.
And while we were decluttering,she was doing something in her
(10:43):
kitchen.
I think maybe it was underneaththe sink or something.
And I was doing my spice rackand that cupboard.
I just talked about this somuch, but the emotional drain
of.
Seeing that I bought like a lotof garlic powder brings up all
these triggers of oh my God, amI having dementia?
Am I gonna be like my grandma?
And am I losing my mind?
(11:04):
If I was doing that work bymyself, I would've sunk, it
would've depressed me and Iwould've stopped.
But I had Stephanie there oncamera, we're both cleaning and
going, oh my god, I'm the guythat gets eight garlic powders.
And it was less of a blow.
So it can really help lightenthe load.
(11:24):
Difficult tasks.
Does that talk about bodydoubling enough?
It's when you clone yourselfspeaking of cloning, I saw this
trick the other day of.
Have you seen so you're not onsocial media, but there's like
this meme going around that'sokay, give me your unhinged A
DHD hacks and what would you doto get things done?
And someone put in the commentslike, I have an alter ego and
(11:47):
I've named it, and that's.
The ego, or that's the personthat does all the shitty stuff.
That's the person that does allthe stuff that I don't wanna do.
I was talking to one of myclients about it the other day.
We were like, what would Frankdo because he sounds boring.
What would Frank do?
And if your name is Frank, andif you're listening to, I'm sure
you're not boring, but thisparticular Frank, all Franks are
boring.
Oh, Frank, almost a hundredpercent positive.
(12:09):
No.
Okay.
That's good to know.
Get ready for your emails.
N.
And I don't like your podcast.
Yeah.
One star review.
So body doubling has beenincredible.
It's, yeah.
I did a body doubling session inmy community the other day.
I fixed my sliding glass door,my back door.
So for an entire year I havebeen trying to push it and then
(12:30):
like I have to struggle to getit to lock, to actually get the
full door to lock.
Guess how many minutes it tookme to fix?
It took me how many you thoughtit was gonna take?
Probably five hours.
I thought I was gonna have tohire someone, I thought for
sure, something's wrong withthis door to the point that it's
warped, right?
It literally took me watching aYouTube video while I was in the
(12:52):
body doubling session and thengetting a screwdriver, and I
literally had to hold it up,screw it a couple times, and
then it works perfectly.
And my husband got home and Iwas like.
I am a champion and I cannotwait to tell you how much of a
champion I am, but it's thingslike that I wouldn't have taken
the time to do it because it Ifigured out a way to work with
(13:13):
it.
And it's like clutter.
It's all the stuff we don'twanna do.
I, it comes back to peoplesaying.
Oh my gosh, that thing that I'vebeen putting off for a year, it
only took me five minutes to do.
Yeah.
But just knowing that isn'tenough to get it done.
It's not enough to get all thethings done because Yeah, you've
got all of those little microtasks all over the place.
There's so many things that needto get done.
(13:35):
Totally.
So tell us a little bit moreabout what you do in your
community.
After this recording, I'll be inthe body double room in my
community.
We have an audio on one fordecluttering.
Cool.
But then we also have audio offone where it's just now I gotta
get my shit done.
So you type in the chat.
I'm doing this.
in the community, in general, Ithink you gotta go back to like
(13:56):
why I built the community.
Yeah.
Let me ask you that, right?
Why did you build thiscommunity?
Lemme phrase it like a DavidLetterman question.
Really interested way.
What's the origin story of thiscom?
What do you call it, a Comm cCommunity.
Yeah, group of people.
It's, I in the coaching world isit's my answer to appointment
(14:17):
amnesia, really.
Coaching is great.
So for people that can affordone-on-one coaching, it's great.
It's awesome.
You get really one-on-one directattention.
You get a thought partner andall that stuff.
You don't get a guarantee thatyou're gonna do any of the work.
not to toot my own horn, mysessions with people are very
motivating.
I get all, I get juiced up by itand they get juiced up so that
(14:37):
by the time we leave, there's acommitment and there's I'm a on
Tuesday and Thursday, I'm gonnado this, that, and that next
thing.
And it takes a while for peopleto get on the other end of A DHD
got me again, A DHD got meagain.
And you're like, okay, great.
Know we gotta get over thathurdle.
Community is the answer for thatforgetfulness that we have for
(15:00):
that that feeling of likeisolation of worthlessness that
we have of I can't do anything.
I'm a loser.
And it attacks in a shame-freeway.
The remedial, the easy, allthose things that we know that
we can do on our own, but thatwe're not.
I built a community based on, itwas also on a, an addiction quit
(15:23):
group that I was a part of yearsago.
Really getting over nicotine.
Yeah.
And we were, you just post everyday.
Nicotine, it was like, no matterwhat, one day at a time, right?
No matter what, I'm not gonnachew today, come hell or high
water, I'm not chewing.
And then you go in and you justare like, I hate this.
I'm mad.
Everybody's a asshole.
I, maybe I'm the asshole.
(15:43):
It was like, together we are allgoing through this painful
process and quitting, and Iwanted that for A DHD and for
getting shit done.
So how can we, no matter whathappens, what are we gonna
commit to achieving today?
And knowing that we're postingthat to a group of fellow
(16:04):
ADHDers, shame free.
You can say, I'm gonna fold twopieces of articles of clothing
today.
Yeah.
And that's it.
And we gamify it with daystreaks.
And if you get to a hundreddays, you're a school spaghetti
master.
And we have, we have people inour community.
Stephanie, shout out toStephanie, who's over a year in
a row of doing every day like400 days in a row.
(16:28):
What of doing the thing that shesaid she was gonna do.
Wow.
Some days it's five things.
I'm gonna do these five and somedays it's like I got nothing in
the tank.
I'm going to read in my hammocktoday.
That's my what I'm going to do.
We can do this stuff.
Like my mentor Dana Rayburn hercatchphrase, it's not a
catchphrase, it's the, we can dohard things.
(16:48):
Yeah.
And we make things hard that weknow, are easy.
So what is our A DHD way ofdoing what we perceive the
normies doing?
Super easy.
Yeah.
And I think.
It is imperative, especially atfirst when we're trying to
manage our A DHD that we do itin a community or we do it
(17:10):
together.
Yeah.
And I think the proof is in thepudding on that.
Like the proof is in thecommunity, people that show up
are doing shit.
And here's another case in pointthe whole point of it all right,
is to show up and publicly failat the thing that we say we're
gonna do.
And know that I'm not gonna bejudged.
(17:31):
I said I was gonna do thedishes.
I didn't do the dishes.
I feel like a piece of shit.
Am I a piece of shit?
No, you're not.
What got in the way.
And it's like this groupcoaching of people saying, this
is what I do.
This is what you might thinkabout doing.
And it's people showing back upand saying, okay, gonna do the
dishes today's the day I'm gonnado the dishes.
Here's why I didn't do'emyesterday.
I totally forgot, okay, how am Igonna remember?
(17:53):
And it's literally a DHDcoaching.
Supremely low priced A DHDcoaching for multiple people.
It's a no brainer to me, but Oh,it's so cool.
I just love what you're doing.
'cause right now you're in yourgroup, you're doing a 30 day
decluttering challenge for themonth of April.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Part of what makes the communityawesome is A DHD people are
(18:14):
super creative.
Yeah.
We are the best of coming upwith cool shit.
One member brought in a 30 daydecluttering challenge.
So every day it's like some,somebody's process.
I don't know whose process itis, it's a PDF that she shared
and cool.
It's every day is a thing.
So then you post and you'relike, okay, today's day five.
I'm clearing out my car, theseare things I would never do.
(18:38):
Like I, I have deleted all theapps on my phone.
I have one page of apps, by theway.
That's amazing.
That's a flex.
I have one page, zero games onmy phone.
That's crazy.
Zero social media on my phone.
Wow.
And another part of that is Jenis a member of our community
who's brilliant at.
(19:00):
The graphics design work on thisis brilliant.
She created a game of to help uswith our doom scrolling and so
you get points for variousthings that you're doing that
are anti doom scrolling.
Cool.
And it's I'm doing it for thepoints.
I told my girlfriend, I waslike, okay, I have Instagram I
have Instagram on my phone justas a watcher.
(19:22):
Because like my girlfriendshares recipe things with me.
Should we make this for dinner?
I deleted it.
I'm like, I'm so sorry, but Ineed these points.
Yeah.
I'm meant to win the game.
So I don't have, I get 750points a day for this shit.
I am sorry.
We're gonna have to communicatein another way about rest.
Yeah.
We have to find a different wayto connect.
And I, yeah, I've been workingon my own doom scrolling.
(19:43):
I'm trying to figure out how tobe off social media altogether.
Yeah, I deleted Facebook and nowit's just like.
How do I communicate or get theinformation that I want and need
and connect with people in a waythat's not on social media and
I've been longing for this for areally long time, so I think
having a game is so brilliantbecause I've tried a lot of
(20:06):
different apps.
I really want them to work, butit's also like that intention
behind it and really wanting itbecause then like when I am in a
dysregulated state, I gostraight from my phone.
And to decompress, to numb out.
But that's not necessarily thehealthy way I wanna do it, so
That's so freaking cool.
When I first got diagnosed withA DHD, it wasn't until I started
(20:27):
reading books about people whohad a DHD and learning about
their own lived experiences thatI started to feel seen for the
first time and started to feel,yeah.
Understood in a way that Ididn't have to prove myself and
I didn't have to explain why Iwas late or why I couldn't
remember people's birthdays orall of these different things.
So yeah, getting in front ofpeople with a DHD and knowing
(20:51):
that they have the same brain asyou just helps you feel like you
don't have to prove yourself.
Yeah, you can show up.
Know that you have a lot ofsimilar.
Struggles so that you can get infront of it in a way that feels
like you're not doing it alone.
Because when you're doing italone, oh man, it's isolating.
It's so isolating.
Big time.
And don't you like I find thisbig time I wasn't diagnosed
(21:12):
until I was 40.
Yeah, and I'm 49 right now, butlike in my thirties and stuff
everything about me was, I gottado this on my own.
I'm a grown man and I can doright.
And so everything was aboutisolating and cocooning and
going, okay, I'm gonna just goaway and I'm gonna transform on
my own.
And then I'll emerge thisbutterfly and people will see me
and I'll be like, look, I got myshit together.
Look at me.
(21:33):
And it's never, it's like agnarled butterfly with a half
broken wing and you're like, ohshit, I gotta go back in the
cocoon.
This is the thing that communityhelps us with.
It gets us on the other end of,you don't have to do it by
yourself, and it's often notpossible to do it by ourselves.
Totally.
I don't know if you could relateto this, but I have this thing
where I have this amazing daywhere I've done everything.
(21:56):
I've gotten so much done andthen I'm like, I've figured it
out I conquered my brain.
I just need to do that day forall the rest of the days.
And then I don't recreate it.
And then I'm struggling torecreate this perfect day that I
had and I'm not doing it.
And, it's because that's the waythat my brain works.
(22:18):
And it's accepting that throughunderstanding I'm gonna show up
differently every single daybased on, how I slept the night
before, what's going on in mylife, how my working memory is
supporting me or not supportingme.
There's so many things that gointo it, but even just
understanding or being remindedthat it's not going to be.
Perfect.
(22:38):
Every single day like I used toduring Covid or even not during
Covid.
Whenever I would have my kidshome and I was working in the
corporate world, I would belike, it's fine.
I can work.
I can work totally fine, andthey can also be home.
And I can do all the things.
I literally tried to do this somany times, even working like
(22:58):
building my business.
I'm like, they, they'll be home,they'll be outside.
Like I'll feed them and it'll beperfect because they'll see mom
working and it's always hell,every time I'm like, maybe if I
go about it differently, so I'msaying this to say.
I think it's so good to seeother people struggling too with
those same things so that we canremind each other Hey, what if
(23:19):
you came up with somethingrealistic?
What if your kids were home andyou did take some time out of
your day to actually spend timewith them?
And so then when you're sittingthem in front of the TV for two
hours while you're trying to getstuff done, you feel fine about
it because you guys just wentand did a nature walk for two
hours.
So Totally.
It's like just understandingthat there's balance that you
(23:39):
can create.
It's just sometimes we try to doit all, but when everything is
important, nothing is importantand can all fall to the wayside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes those perspectives arehard to have when you're by
yourself.
Like when you don't have anybodyto bounce that off of and you
think everybody else seems to bedoing things perfectly well and
finding good, why am I not doingeverything perfectly well and
(24:02):
finding good all the time?
And then by comparison, peoplesay, not to compare yourself to
other people, but that is howsocieties work.
That's like how we are.
Yeah.
That's one of my biggesttakeaways from some
organizational psychologyclasses I was in was like,
that's how people look aroundand go, how is everybody?
Hey, behaving in our society?
Yeah.
How might I behave?
(24:23):
And then they go, oh, so we.
We just do shit.
Okay.
So we do the dishes we dolaundry.
These are responsibilities thatwe suck up and do.
Why can't I do that?
I guess I'm not a good member ofour society or it's, we need to
be around our own skullspaghetti people, our own brain
people.
Yeah.
So that we can go, what's normalfor us.
(24:45):
Usually it's chaos and it's likeI operate under high urgency.
Then we as a group go, okay, weneed to do these things that
these normies are doingapparently really easy.
What's our way to do thatwithout feeling like we're
idiots about it?
I'm gonna go on passionatetangents and it's always gonna
(25:07):
come back to fucking laundrymag.
Yeah.
I work on decluttering andorganizing and some people are
like, I really wanna, like, howdo you do your laundry?
And I'm like.
My, my husband does all of it.
So I, you delegate, delegate.
So that's he's a champion andthat's the job he's taken.
So I don't have to do it.
So wow.
I don't know.
I highly recommend it.
(25:27):
It's amazing.
but you know, the comparisonthing.
'cause I was thinking about thatliterally yesterday.
So I love that you brought it upbecause I do think that age old
phrase, comparison is the thiefof joy.
Yes.
In some cases, right?
It's the thief of joy.
When you are just starting abusiness and you look at someone
who's had a business for 10years and then you start to
shame yourself because you'renot where they are.
(25:49):
Duh.
Obviously you're not where theyare because they have done so
much more behind the scenes.
It has taken them years to getto where they are now.
But it is amazing to start tocompare yourself, to understand
how other people operate andwhat you could do to get where
you want to go and to start tosay, okay.
If they did it this way, Iwonder how I could make that fit
(26:12):
into my life.
Because I think when it comes tocomparison, even just reading
self-help books or understandinghow to get stuff done, no matter
what, it's never gonna look thesame for you.
It's never going to be like, oh,I followed these instructions
perfectly and now it's working.
No, it's, I've followed theseinstructions the way I would see
them working and it either worksor it doesn't, I think the
(26:33):
comparison is It is important tosee what other people are doing.
'cause that's how we learn,that's how we learn how to react
to people.
That's how we learn what's funnyand what's not funny, right?
It's how we learn what thesocietal norms are.
It's natural to see what otherpeople are doing.
And to say, okay, how do I fitin there?
But.
With a DHD, it's different.
And so you've gotta understandthat the way that you're going
(26:54):
to operate in this world isgoing to be different.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
Yeah.
It's just about, you gotta findother people that are doing it
your way too.
Yeah, because then it feelsbetter.
I have this my history comesthere.
There's a lot of I'm not goodenough, and there's
self-loathing that comes withthat.
And it's almost like that, thereticular activator thing,
right?
Where if I'm thinking a certainway, you know that thing where
you're like, oh, if you're, I'mgonna buy a Volkswagen bug.
(27:16):
And so then you just startseeing them everywhere.
Yes.
Yeah it's like that, but forlike proof that I'm a piece of
garbage, right?
That self-loathing I am comingfrom a place of self-loathing,
so I'm always looking for data.
Not me personally.
I'm not trying to look for it,but my brain will be like, oh,
look at all these reasons whyyou're not like that person.
'cause they're better than you.
You're not like that person.
They're more successful thanyou.
(27:37):
So here you wanted to proof thatyou're no good.
The brain is just doing its job.
I'm like, oh God, brain shutoff.
But it's coming back to thatmanifestation thing is like
thoughts become things.
Yes.
What you think about it stemsfrom your beliefs.
And if you genuinely believethat you can't do a certain
thing, like what you saidearlier too, you're like, that's
not gonna work for me.
(27:58):
You've already decided I can'tdo things.
I believe I can't do somethinglike that, and so therefore I'm
gonna decide already that'snever gonna work for me.
But because you already thinkthis about yourself, you do, you
look for the evidence.
But I think that's what's coolabout working in a DHD groups is
that you then start tounderstand that you can do this.
I did a podcast interview thismorning and she was like what's
(28:22):
one of the coolest things aboutThe mindset shift that you see
when you're coaching someone andI'm like, oh.
When they finally start tobelieve that they can actually
do it.
Oh, it's so cool.
It's just like the seeing itinside themselves and then
there's regression, right?
They go back and they're like,oh, maybe I can't, but yeah, I
can, but maybe I can't.
But yes, I absolutely can.
(28:43):
It's like that internal battleof getting to this other side.
But when you finally realize youcan do it, you start to see the
evidence more and more.
It's look for the butterflies.
Have you ever heard of thatphrase?
I probably brought it up before,but when you are intentional
about like looking for somethingspecific hey, I tell me how many
butterflies you see this week.
(29:03):
Now you're gonna be looking forthe butterflies.
Whereas right, in most of yourlife, you're just gonna go along
and maybe look for the assholesbecause you believe that most
people are assholes, right?
But intentionally looking forthe good.
Look for the helpers, look forthe people that are smiling.
My gosh, like when you put yourintentions into that, you're
gonna find that and you're gonnasee the evidence all around you.
(29:23):
And it's beautiful.
It's really neat.
You made me think of a challengefor the community.
Let's bring this back tocommunity.
Let's, yeah.
So if there's a challenge,right?
This is how my brain works.
I turn everything into a game.
Yeah.
And to be like, okay, what's thecompetition?
The game is that you all agreeon something positive that
you're gonna look at for theweek.
So then it's top of mind everyday in the daily accountability,
(29:44):
right?
And then you go, okay, so I'mgonna look for, what are my
butterflies?
The challenge would be lookingfor the butterflies or something
like that, right?
Yeah, totally.
You spend an entire week going,how many kind people can you get
in touch with or can you meet?
Or how many people can you getto smile like in, in a week or
something like that?
And then you tally it, so you'realways like, I got three more
(30:06):
today.
And now you're actually goingafter it, right?
Not because you're going after asmile, but because you're going
after a number in a game thatyou're playing with somebody
else.
That's a great idea.
I love it.
Can I call it the Megs butterflychallenge?
I would be honored.
I think people will eat that upin the community.
They, that challenges areawesome.
(30:27):
They're great.
And.
It's just about when you startto reframe things in the way
that you wanna see them.
I'll give you an example of likereal life.
So we had this interview thismorning and I had this great
idea.
I was like, what if we had abunch of people watching our
interview?
Wouldn't that be so cool?
And then we could fieldquestions from the audience.
I sent out one email to mycommunity and was like, let's do
(30:49):
this.
Guess what?
Nobody read that or saw it ordid anything with it.
And so initially they're likenot interested in that Russ guy.
He curses too much and I don'tthink he takes life serious.
Exactly.
Wow.
That's actually what people toldme in their brain.
initially I was coming into thismeeting, I'm like.
Russ is probably gonna be sodisappointed in me.
(31:10):
Like I said, I had this greatidea you probably didn't even
remember.
But like I'm creating this storyabout what it was.
But the truth of the matter, thefacts of the matter is that I
wanted to do this.
I didn't have a plan.
I executed one email and we knowYeah.
That we need lots of remindersand lots of support and lots of
things telling us whensomething's happening in order
(31:32):
to make room for it.
Yeah.
Also, people are busy.
And therefore it didn't work outin the way that I originally
wanted it to.
So instead of shaming myself, Ilooked for what could I do
differently next time?
There's a whole bunch of thingsI could do differently next
time.
Yep.
And like ultimately, we're stillhaving this really cool
interview that people are gonnalisten to.
And it's gonna be awesome Andsorry you missed my one email
(31:55):
everyone I think it's just aboutreframing the way that we see
ourselves and being allowed todo that.
It comes back from the way wesaw ourselves our whole lives.
I know I've always been so usedto putting myself down and it
wasn't until the last five yearsthat I've really worked on
building myself up instead.
Oh, that's rad.
Yeah, kick ass.
I think a lot of these thingstoo, the, in our business is
(32:17):
trial and error.
Yeah.
We get great ideas all the time.
I'm like, this would be superawesome.
Wouldn't it be fun?
And then it's like crickets.
And you're like, oh,historically this was me 10
years ago.
Because I've done this plenty.
I'm not even saying this isabout this today's event.
Yeah.
I've done so many things whereI'm the only one that showed up.
And I'm by myself going, do Ikeep recording?
(32:39):
Am I guess I'm just gonna starttalking about seaweed But like
you learn from those things.
Yeah.
And like at the core issomething important.
Yeah.
So I have a friend of mine,she's like, it's just collecting
data.
You're just collecting data onthe stuff you're doing.
And it really that's really whatit comes down to.
So tell us more about like, howpeople can join your community,
(33:01):
what that looks like.
Give us all the deets.
Oh, here's the dates.
By joining, by Jan, Oh yeah.
Radio host.
Absolutely.
Radio pause for commercial.
Are you down in the dumps?
Do you, having trouble gettingstarted.
Why don't you look into the ADHDBig Brother?
it's a really easy process tojoin.
It's, you join, you getonboarded.
(33:21):
There's a few videos.
'cause when you join acommunity, you want to know
what's the culture, how does itwork?
What are the rituals?
How do you even use theplatform?
And so you're on circle now,right?
Community.
So come on, let's go Circle isthe platform that we use.
It's super awesome and when youjoin, you go through the
onboarding videos to tell youhow to do it.
(33:42):
And then at the end I give you achecklist of a couple things to
do, post a win.
It explains the spaces right,and how you can get along.
And then I do a free coachingcall with everybody once they're
done onboarding.
So just to get FaceTime, I wantto meet you.
I want to know who the hell youare.
Yeah.
And then I want to be there tobe like, oh, if you're
(34:05):
struggling, like this is myparticular A DHD hurdle, I'll
give you like that coachingstart to be like, try this
space.
Try the, where does it hurtspace.
We have spaces that are designedto be like, oh, you have trouble
getting started.
Here's all the webinars thatwe've done on that.
Here's the posts, here's somestrategies.
Here's where in the communityyou can take action on that.
(34:27):
Like the organization we haveyour, the in, in the
organization space, the Megs.
Declutter sessions, Meg'swebinar.
And then do you have a wholespace in your community
dedicated to me?
I should change the name toMeg's organization Center.
That's so cool.
All the stuff is cool.
My community is not built.
(34:48):
For Hey, let's just all talkabout how hard life is and let's
just be relatable to each other.
That's intrinsic.
That happens.
You're going to get that.
But it's like you can join aFacebook group.
You can join free places allover the place to be like, Hey
isn't this funny?
Or isn't this hard?
My community is made for thedoing of the work.
So the thing where you've doneall the research you've you're
(35:10):
in therapy, you're going to an ADHD coach, but you're not doing
the work.
You're not doing the work of thebook, you're not doing the work
of your therapist, you're notdoing the work of your A DHD
coach.
We have a platform built to makeit as easy as possible to do the
work, and we will help hold youaccountable, which is glorious.
(35:31):
That's so cool.
Yeah.
You even have a spot foraccountability buddies, right?
Yes.
This is what it's all about.
We have an accountability buddyspace where you can put on a
Google sheet your name, the kindof accountability you're looking
for, and then other people willanother member will join, and
then I call it a 30 dayrelationship, I think is good.
Yeah.
then I give you methodologiesquestions to ask each other on
(35:52):
your accountability sessions.
And then we have a publicmeeting room that you can book
out for free to have your Zoommeetings if you don't have it on
your own.
Oh.
That way.
And I like, cool.
30 days is good, right?
'cause if it's a shittyrelationship, you're like, I
don't like this person.
And then you're like, okay,that's fine.
Cool.
Your 30 days is up and then moveon, or whatever.
Yeah.
That the accountability it iseverything.
(36:14):
Yeah.
External accountability.
If I share with your audienceone thing that I think is
imperative in getting your shittogether with a DHD, it's
externalizing youraccountability.
If at first, get rid of thementality that.
I gotta be able to do this on myown.
I, we all know you can do it onyour own.
(36:36):
I can do laundry on my own andthe dishes on my own, but if I'm
not doing it, then something ismissing.
Get with a buddy, this isliterally the magical elixir of
ADHD.
That's that's everyone'smissing.
Oh no.
I'm sure there's a book outthere I can read.
There's a book out there that'sgonna solve everything and
everything's gonna click, andthen I'm gonna be able to move
forward.
(36:57):
I love the body double room.
I love knowing that I'm sloggingthrough something and somebody
else is getting their work done,and I get to be a part of their
success.
There's something magical aboutthat.
So I like giving up the ideathat maybe I can do the laundry
on my own.
But I do think that a lot ofpeople aspire to try to do it on
(37:17):
their own and they think thatthey should have to do it on
their own.
And asking for help is anegative thing sometimes.
But it's not, in fact, askingfor help and removing the
barriers.
Like I know when my husbandhelps me do something, like if
he just does one step of it, Ican do the rest so much easier.
Even like my personal assistant,like when she does one thing,
(37:40):
I'm able to do all the rest ofit because she has removed a
barrier for me.
She has removed one of the stepsfrom me having to accomplish it
and just being in a room full ofpeople removes the step of
actually getting yourself to thejob.
That's the barrier.
You are now in it like you arefacing me uncomfortable with
everyone else, but you'reuncomfortable together instead
(38:00):
of having to do it on your own.
So that's awesome.
Yeah, it's really freaking cool.
I'm so pumped about yourcommunity.
I think it's amazing.
It's award-winning and yes, onengagement heck yeah.
That's so legit.
And so if you're ready to join,I'm gonna put everything in the
show notes below so that you cancome check out Russ and see what
(38:21):
he has to offer.
To see what you've been able tocreate and the people that are
in the community, like what anincredible space for people to
go and get things done and toask questions and to feel
normal.
It's just, it's it's really coolwhat you've done.
And I'm really proud of you.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Yeah.
If people don't know or theywant talk before about the
community you can put theCalendly link for a 30 minute
(38:43):
call.
Oh, cool.
And I'll just shoot the shitwith people.
Everybody on the planet gets onefree 30 minute call if they want
to just.
Talk.
And it doesn't have to be aboutcoaching, I'm happy to, I'll
talk all day long about thiscommunity.
I love that.
That's really cool that youoffer that.
Thanks Megs thanks for beinghere, Russ.
Yeti Stereo Microphone & (39:03):
Wasn't that so awesome?
I love the passion with whichRuss talks about his community.
He has been building it and likethe people he's talking about, I
know them.
They're so cool.
There's incredible humans inthere, and it's just so fun to
see all of these incredible ADHD brains out there thriving
and figuring out how to do thestuff that is mundane is not
(39:24):
fun.
So to join Russ's community,just go to the show notes below,
or go to adhd big brother.comand you can join his community
there.
I know he also has a ton ofreally cool stuff like free
events if you're not ready tojoin yet, but you can see what
it's all about.
So you can get an idea if thisis the space for you.
Also, I have a message forJanine who left me a podcast
(39:47):
review back on April 6th.
You had me cracking up.
So here's the review.
I like listening to this podcastwhile cleaning and doing
laundry.
The information is helpful andnot just for a DHD.
The in the interviews and topicsare excellent.
That said, for the sake of allthat is good in the world,
(40:09):
please edit the volume so thatthe cutaways for the reviews are
not screaming into my ears.
Okay.
Fair enough.
I had no idea.
So thank you so much.
I was laughing because.
The art with which you wrote,that was beautiful.
And I heard you loud and cleareven though you didn't actually
say it out loud.
(40:29):
And I immediately took it outbecause I didn't know how to
edit for volume.
So while I'm incredible atorganizing, I'm still learning
this whole podcast thing and allof the video editing and sound
editing stuff.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
If you guys have feedback,please share it with me.
I am a solo woman over heredoing my thing.
(40:50):
I do have a business supportmanager who helps me with
marketing and I have abookkeeper, but other than that,
it's mostly me over here.
So if you have feedback, let meknow.
And if it's positive feedbackand and you do want to share a
review, please do.
Otherwise, you can just email meor go get the dopamine menu and
put your feedback in the requestfor the dopamine menu.
(41:12):
That's easy too.
Super quick announcement aboutthe community.
I am transitioning over toCircle, which is so A DHD
Friendly.
That's where the A DHD BigBrother is housed, and it's just
really awesome.
I'm so excited to be moving mycommunity over there.
That said, if you decide to joinmy community before May 2nd,
(41:33):
you'll still get the communityprice of$27 a month.
And actually when we move thecommunity over to circle, you'll
get grandfathered into thatprice.
So anyone in the community rightnow, we'll just keep that price
forever because why not?
That's really cool.
Then I am going to be launchingthe New Circle community on May
(41:53):
15th, so stay tuned for that.
I'll be sharing a bunch ofinformation on my email list, so
when you sign up for thedopamine menu, just check,
subscribe, and I'll just keepyou in the loop.
I try not to be annoying, but ifit's not for you, just on
subscribe.
Super easy.
And right now for the month ofMay, I only have two coaching
spots available.
So if you are interested andyou're ready to get started,
(42:15):
just book a call in the shownotes below, and I can't wait to
talk to you on that note.
Have an incredible week andthank you again for your
patience this week.
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