December 11, 2024 • 50 mins
Ever wondered how the virtual world of gaming can become a lifeline for mental health? We chat with Brooke, the innovative mind behind Royalty Design Co and the Pinky Promise Project, who shares her transformative journey from facing bullying and societal pressures to becoming a mental health advocate. Through her personal battles with suicidal thoughts, Brooke found inspiration to launch the Pinky Promise Project, aiming to spare others from the pain of mental health struggles and loneliness. Our conversation sheds light on the evolution of mental health discussions, pushing beyond traditional paths and embracing supportive spaces that break down stigma.
We also explore the unexpected comfort and community found in video games. Reflecting on our childhood memories of playing games like Mario Kart and Mario Party, we appreciate how they've evolved into a critical source of escape and connection. Brooke speaks candidly about her Twitch community, which provided a much-needed lifeline during her darkest days. We dive into the mental health benefits of these virtual interactions, where genuine friendships blossom, and a sense of belonging emerges, offering a sanctuary away from physical social demands.
Finally, we touch on the diverse world of therapeutic practices and self-care techniques.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Brooke.
I am the owner of RoyaltyDesign Co, the host of Babbling
Tat Podcast and the founder ofthe Pinky Promise Project.
You can find everything onTat's Corner at
RoyaltyDesignCocom or on socialsat XXTatQueenXX, and everything
is linked right through thereall about mental health and
(00:22):
growing through this mess calledlife together, because we stick
together and we heal together.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello beautiful souls and welcome to Oroasis
Community Podcast.
I am Dr Roldan, your host.
I am a doctor in clinicalpsychology, a BIPOC therapist
professor and a mindful somaticcoach.
While I am a therapist,remember I'm not your therapist.
This podcast is not asubstitute for professional
(00:51):
mental health care, but we haveresources in our website and
Instagram to support you in thatsearch.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Welcome everybody and thank you so much for joining
us in another wonderful episodeof our Oasis community podcast.
Today I have a friend, a gamerfriend and just an adorable
human being that I call myfriend, brooke.
So grab your cup of tea, coffeeor any warm beverage or cold
beverage that makes you feelcozy and cheers my friend.
(01:20):
And today we are going to talkabout being human.
What do I mean with being human?
We all have been in the darkestplaces of our soul and
sometimes life hit us hard and,as we know, not everybody has
access to mental health or noteverybody feels comfortable
going to a therapist.
So Brooke is going to share withus her story and how she
(01:42):
created the Pinky Project thatwhen you guys hear it, it's just
such a warming thing for myheart and for all the brave
souls that are survivors of SI.
This is for you, and this isyour trigger warning that if you
need to take care of you, we'regoing to be talking about
suicide ideation, suicide,mental health and why not?
So please take a break.
(02:03):
If this is not the episode foryou, don't worry.
We have a meditation, one thatyou can go check before getting
this one.
But this is your triggerwarning and final warning.
So, brooke, tell us about you,tell us how you are here and how
you almost went wearing.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, hello.
Thank you so much for having mehere.
It is an honor and a pleasure,and just thank you for having me
here.
I am Brooke.
I am the owner of RoyaltyDesign Co, which is a store that
has mental health apparel,merch products, that sort of
thing, with plenty more to comelater.
And the main thing on RoyaltyDesign Co is the Pinky Promise
(02:42):
Project, which is my mentalhealth project.
We got, oh, there we go.
I should have wore the one onthe other side.
It's my mental health projectthat I created in 2022.
I created it to save my ownlife, but we will progress to
that in a moment.
Back up a little more, becausethere's so much more before all
of that.
I have struggled with mentalhealth my entire life.
(03:04):
For all of that, I havestruggled with mental health my
entire life, whether it wasbullying or home life or just
not fitting in.
That's been me my entire life.
The first time I had suicidalthoughts I was eight years old
and they just continuouslyprogressed throughout my entire
life.
And back then, in those days inthe 90s, it was very mental
(03:24):
health.
The whole thing was very, very,very different, right, right,
anxiety wasn't really a thing.
You just you definitely didn'ttalk about it, like if we think
nowadays, you know, mentalhealth is kind of weird thing to
talk about.
Back then it was like you justdidn't, you sucked it up, you
dealt with it and you just kepton keeping on and toughen up.
It wasn't okay to not be okay,at least like in the outside
(03:45):
world and internalize that myentire life and from a very
young age, I had the feelingthat I never wanted someone else
to feel the way that I felt,because it was just so painful
and it was so sad and it wasvery, very lonely and just the
constant like what is wrong withme?
What is wrong with me to whereno one wants to be around me, no
(04:06):
one wants to be friends with me.
Like I get good grades, I saythe things like yeah, my family
doesn't have money for me tohave the trendy clothes.
But you know, like I'm okay,I'm kind of weird, but like,
what's wrong with being weird?
Like I like playing sports.
I'm kind of a tomboy.
I hated pink.
I was not your girly girl typeof a no, like I wouldn't touch
pink, Like it's lava, it's goingto give me cooties, like no.
(04:28):
So that was also, you know,weird because I wasn't a super
big girly girl and it's just allthese different things and it's
like why are all these thingswrong with me?
Because that's not who I am andthat's not like who I want to
be and why do I have to be likethat?
But society was very much likethis is how you to be, this is
who you need to be and you needto, you know, follow this step
(04:48):
of things.
You need to get good grades andthen go to college and then do
this and do that.
And you know, like follow thelist, the road of life as it's
painted on a white picket fencepicture, and it's just it's's.
It was so hard feeling like youjust don't necessarily like fit
(05:08):
into that, like why do I haveto like I loved school and I
loved learning and I lovedcollege and all of those things?
I mean I didn't.
I didn't go to college.
Technically I'm a beauty schooldropout, so hey, it's okay to
it's okay to pivot and no,college is not for everybody.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
so if you're listening to this, are like, oh
my, they're just college nerds.
No, not everybody goes tocollege.
Yes, I am a professor of auniversity, but I always say,
you know, there is alwaysstraight school.
College is not for everybodyand sometimes we just go, like
you say, because it's A, b, c.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
And this is what people have told us, especially
our parents.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So if you are a youngster or a college I hate
saying a college dropout I calllike.
You know how we havegluten-free people and like
vegetarian, so we have like nocollege people.
You know, like I'm like you sayI'm allergic to pink, I'm
allergic to college.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Now, yeah, that's, that's okay.
It's okay, we haveentrepreneurs.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
We have a beauty school.
We have right now we have adecline in plumbing and
carpentry, so blue collar isabsolutely incredible.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yes, little random key ADHD scroll moment, but I
think, instead of what like proband stats and whatever you
learn in math and all of thoserandom things like have, have a
blue collar type of a you knowexperience type of, yeah, a
class thing, like I rememberwhen, like, auto and woodworking
were in school and then theytook it out when I was still in
(06:35):
school.
Yeah, like I.
Yeah, no, that's it is okay tobe a blue collar.
I was a blue collar like I didit my entire pregnancy.
I was an insulator.
I I helped build the TeslaGigafactory and I am so proud of
that.
That's why I love tractors.
Right, right.
It's okay to not take atraditional path and to be
different.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
It is okay If you haven't seen Brooks.
She has a TikTok and every dayshe goes for every sunset and
every sunrise and I love herbecause she's always in front of
a truck or construction thingbut, it looks so glamorous and
I'm like how in the world shemakes this look so glamorous?
you know, but this old sayingthat if you're struggling with
(07:14):
your mental health because Ihave a good friend that their
parents are like one is anastrophysicist and the mom is a
doctor, a they are a welderbecause they're, I cannot do any
of those things.
One, because they haveattention deficit disorder and
two, because school system wasnot creative for people with
different learning abilities.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And they can create the most beautiful things,
Incredible.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And it makes three times more than their parents,
which I was like anyways, andwithout the college debt of all
of it, and then it's okay.
So I guess, to bring this allback to mental health and all of
the things in the path of life.
It is okay to experiment with it.
It is okay to experiment withdifferent things.
(07:59):
Yeah, to figure out what makesyou happy.
If college is not the route foryou and you like to work with
your hands, or you like to becreative and artsy, fartsy, or
my brain likes this and I liketo do this.
I taught everything.
I taught myself everything Iknow about my business, my store
, being a Twitch streamer, acontent creator, everything from
Google and YouTube, hours ofGoogle and YouTube.
(08:21):
There was no college-ing fornone of that.
Like taught myself everything.
Like there is.
So it is okay to view it as anexperiment.
And that it is okay, you know,because, like with experiments,
if you don't get the end resultthat you want, you just try it
again.
Yeah, and it is okay.
Then you try little differentthings that well, this didn't
work, but I liked this, I likedthis piece of it.
(08:41):
So I'm going to experiment withsomething else that still has
that piece of it and it's.
I read a book called theSelf-Love Experiment.
Yes, somewhere up here,somewhere back here, but the
biggest thing that I pulled fromthat, that I've tried to embody
in life so hard is viewing yourlife, your self-love, your
career, like your mindset,things, figuring out who we are,
(09:04):
because I feel like we'vemasked so much over the years,
of being told this is who youneed to be, this is the society
way of being, this is correct,this is proper.
You're weird.
Don't do that in public.
Like whatever it may be.
Like we put on all these masksand we cover ourselves and feel
like this is the era where we'relike shrek in the onion.
Right, you need to like peelback the layers, right.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
So like get to the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
We're unmasking and peeling off the layers.
But to do that we need toexperiment to figure out what
those things are inside of usthat really make us tick.
So viewing it as an experimentto where it's okay to not have
success at the end of it, thatit's not a failure.
You're just learning somethingthat you did or didn't like and
(09:49):
for these reasons, you're goingto keep moving forward and try
again.
Yeah, Taking that sense offailure and wasting time and if
I'm going to waste time, I'm noteven going to do it anyways.
Or what's the point?
It's just going to be a waste.
Like I'm really bad abouttalking myself out of things and
telling myself, oh well, it'sjust for me it's a waste.
Like what's the point?
Like no, it's not worth it.
It is worth it, you are worthit.
And viewing it as an experimenthas really helped me personally
.
Just go for so many things andit's okay if they didn't end up
(10:12):
panning out like it's totallyokay and it's.
It's helped me give myself thatgrace just as an experiment.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Video games, and we mentioned that one.
Brooke and I, we are all gamers, but Brooke is way better than
me.
But games teach you resiliency,teach you those tools of like
okay, it didn't work like this.
Oh well, I die.
I have like all these threelives to do this right, or you
learn to like to ask for help,to investigate.
(10:42):
So let's now dive into thevideo game world.
How do you got into it, why areyou into it and why you're a
twitch streamer?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
so growing up I actually did not play video
games very often.
Um, it was not a thing in thehouse growing up.
My dad had a nintendo 64 and ifI was at his house, my brother
and I I would play Mario Party,mario Kart or whatever together.
I was always Princess Peach andmy favorite map was her
birthday cake.
(11:12):
Yeah, that was my favorite one.
That's pretty much the onlything I remember from the N64.
Oh, and my controller was thepurple see-through one.
Yeah, that was when he had iton the cartridges to make sure,
like if they didn't work andwhatever.
But on that that was my real,like video gaming experience
growing up as a kid.
Eventually my dad later got anxbox and I used to play tau fang
(11:33):
, so like mortal combat type ofa thing with fighters and you,
yeah, um, but even then I didn'tplay it very often and it's got
a lot of time there and at myhouse that wasn't like video
games, just weren't a thing.
So growing up I actually didn'treally play video games, but in
the sense of just games as awhole, I would play the ever
(11:54):
loving crap out of board gamesand card games.
Yes, just because I didn't havevideo games as an option, right
?
So my grandma and I we wouldplay card games and board games
and dominoes and dice games.
So in that sense of you don'thave to like same concept of
games, in that type of sense,kind of like what we talked on
the panel back in March atWonderCon, like, even if you're
(12:15):
not well, I'm not a gamer, videogames don't apply to me Like
those little games you play onyour phone that little you know,
yeah, if you play, like to playsolitary, you like to play, you
know, dominoes or dice orwhatever, like it's still a game
, even if it's just not likevirtual, like games, a game.
I think that's also why I lovesports so much, like right it's
a game right?
um, anyways, back to video games.
(12:37):
So I just I never really playedvideo games like ever growing
up.
So it's it's very, veryinteresting to be in the space
of video games now and to loveit so much now and for it to be
such a peaceful escape.
Like I still can't walk andlook on controller to this day.
I still can't.
I'll still get stuck in acorner.
It'll make me sick if mysensitivity is up too high, like
(12:59):
I can't.
I can't do the thing.
I play mouse and key.
I am not that good of a gamer.
So your comment earlier earliersaying I'm Ben absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I only do the cozy.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I used to do Mortal Kombat and all that I was going
to say I'm a button master onMortal Kombat, like Mario Party,
the mini games, I'm kind ofokay, but Mario Kart, my
driving's not A1.
I'm not, I'm not your next f1racer.
I tell you that right now.
No, no, absolutely not not me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
So for for people listening to us and I will put
the link uh, we did a panelabout the benefits on mental
health on video games and that'swhy brooke was referring to in
wondercon last.
We did that panel because, one,both of us know how life-saving
video games can be for somebodythat's struggling and you will
(13:50):
be like what?
No?
And also the other thing isthat people think that video
gamers are under the ground inthe basement or in a room all
stinky and stuff like that.
No, that was like the typicalnerd movie of the 90s.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's not like that, like stereotype.
Yeah, way back then.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, it's not like that.
Your nerd is Silicon Valley, amansion with all the nuts, so it
has changed Very much.
Yeah, but tell me, tell ourpublic a little bit about that
panel.
It meant a lot to you, but itmeant a lot to me to show people
(14:30):
the power of community Allthese podcasts in our Oasis
community.
Is that Like, take a break, grabsome tools and go back to live
life right, however that lookslike, but now you have a
community ruling for you, sotell me about community and
video games and how that, in away, saves lives.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
So my Twitch community, very much, was a very
, very, very big role in savingmy life in 2021 and 2022.
Big role in saving my life in2021 and 2022.
I was at the lowest low of mylife and I felt very, very alone
(15:14):
.
And not even just that I feltalone, I just I was.
I was very, very much alone.
I could not call mom, call dador insert person here like that.
That was very much, and I didnot.
I did not care if I woke up andsaw the next day, but my twitch
community was there and I wouldgo live every night and play
call of duty with my communityjust for a couple hours and even
(15:37):
if the tears were streaming andI would, you know, even come on
stream, be like you know what.
Guys, I'm sorry, I just I'mmentally I'm not here, I can't
do this tonight and we wouldjust hang out and just chit chat
for a little bit.
And next thing, you know, it'sbeen an hour or two and I'm like
you know what, let's load upand let's play a game, like,
let's run some, come on, let'sgo, and they were just there for
me, even though I was supposedto be there for them as like the
(15:58):
streamer, right, like you know,that community is there like,
yeah, I'm here for you guys,let's go.
And they were all yeah, and theywere all there for me and that
community only existed because Igot into video games, like
because I started streaming onTwitch, because I allowed myself
to open up to the idea of thereare tons of other people out
(16:20):
there in the world that alsofeel pain and have hard days and
just want to unmask and just bethemselves and not have that
have to require so much extraeffort and nonsense.
And then the fear of well,thankfully it's virtual, but the
fear of, you know, going out inpublic and trying to socialize,
(16:42):
to find your people, to findyour community right.
Maybe you live in the middle ofnowhere, maybe money's a thing
and maybe you're not confidentin yourself, in your appearance
or you know you just get socialanxiety, like it's being able to
pop in and out of a virtualcommunity where they just
honestlyyou might not even huh, they
(17:03):
just love you to be seen ofpopping in and out.
You know, technically you might.
Your name might not even benoticed unless you engage in
that community to be able tofind if that is a room that you
want to be in from the comfortof your home or your couch or
wherever, like on your phone, onyour computer, like that
(17:23):
virtual community was so, so, somuch in video games created
that Without video games, youknow that wouldn't have been a
thing and like, granted, call ofDuty, there's a lot of toxicity
in that.
So that's probably not the bestexample to use for finding
friends.
But I found my best friend, mybest friend that my son calls
Auntie Harry, in a Call of Dutylobby because of my Twitch
(17:45):
stream.
I didn't have anyone to squadwith and they were like hey, I
have a spot, do you want to run?
And I'm like I spend all mytime dead, like I don't even
know how to walk and look, I'mtrying to figure out mouse and
keyboard.
I don't know how to put on aplate.
I don't know how to shoot LikeI don't Sure.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Like.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I'm dead weight but like, yeah, let's go join up.
And my best friend ever since.
So there are so many people outthere.
(18:19):
I mean, granted, you're goingto get a lot of the nastiness,
and in any video game you'regoing to get the one-offs in any
part of life.
Anywhere, I mean, you go to any, any store, any type of
restaurant or type of outing.
You're gonna get all of thosepeople in real life.
So I don't know, I think it'sjust over magnified in the
online space.
Just it's like real life too.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Guys, right, it's just to to piggyback on that,
because then they say oh, thereis the predators, this, this,
all that.
Outside.
The only thing in in videogames is like it shows really
fast, like if you have somebodythat you can tell is having one
of those days that they justright and they will take it on
people, and immediately you justkick them, kick them out or
(19:03):
block them and peace out.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's almost.
What's better about the videogame virtual community is that
you can do that in real life younecessarily can't do that.
You can't be like hey tosomeone's face in real life,
like you might get punched orsomething.
It's just not going to go verywell.
But in the virtual world, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I love also the virtual world and video games,
because once upon a time well,not still I have a chronic
illness and it will put me outof life, if you will, for months
, right, so like six months at atime.
I cannot even get up out of bed, oh my gosh.
But I can be halo, I can go andlike, put all the aggression
and frustration in a game.
(19:41):
I can go and explore differentworlds, all in the comfort of my
bed.
Not because I was well, I am aproud nerd, but it wasn't
because but it wasn't that I wasunder, like you know, the
basement or anything like that.
I was actually suffering.
And dad going to sell that infinal fantasy are my favorites,
(20:03):
because you can fly and do allthese things and you can be the
pretty princess that just slayseverybody.
Um, and in the music too, itwas very soothing and very
helpful, especially in thosemoments when you are in such a
dark place and you don't havecontrol of anything in your life
, like nothing.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But you can have control of who you go beat up in
mortal kombat if you're masterchief know like or go in Diablo
and be a wizard and go runthrough something, Right yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
So, yes, it's escapism, but at the same time,
it's almost a therapeutic way toreact to a lot of traumatic
events that you go through andalso a way to heal, because we
can change the outcome that wedidn't have before, right?
So for all my streamers, forall my gamers, I see you, we
(20:54):
love you and we thank you forwhat you do, even when you're
cranky and not very appropriate.
If you're hearing and you're aminor, please don't do that.
We kick you out of the room.
Yeah, don't, please don't.
The other thing that is verybeautiful is now they have
create rooms where it's almostlike a support group, where you
go and say stay 24 hours therebecause you have society, asian
(21:17):
or something happened, and weall talk to you because it only
takes eight minutes for somebodyto save a life.
What do I mean with that?
And you have hear me sayingthis a bunch of times in these
episodes, especially inSeptember because we don't tend
to talk to each other even foreight minutes.
We don't like wait what's up,hi bye, instead of like how are
(21:40):
you doing?
And sometimes you don't evenknow how.
Are you really right?
No, but really.
And what I like about the videogames is like hey, are you
ready for this?
Do you know how to use thiscontroller?
Blah, blah, blah.
Yes, I know.
But then they will tell you oh,I don't want you in my group
because you don't know how to dothis.
But then they think about itand say but I can teach you
after we win and I'm like okay,you know.
(22:04):
So that can matter.
And sometimes the tough love itnormal but to feel accepted, to
feel seen, to feel like youbelong there, right, and so that
brings me to see the point inmoving forward, just as a whole
in life.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So I was very much struggling, still going live
streaming.
My community is still there.
(22:47):
For me, it was very, very easyto see that I was not doing okay
, but that I was still showingup and like trying to be okay.
And then one night one of mymods, my moderators on Twitch
she sent me a text because shewas also very much struggling
and she was like hey, tat, Ican't do this.
Like I saw the screenshots ofthe text to this day, just
because I know that, lookingback, like every time I think of
those texts, I know thatthey're there.
I have yet to go back andactually like look and find them
for a really long time, but Iknow they're there because this
(23:08):
is how this project started,right, uh, but it was a thread
of text of you know, basically Ican't do this anymore, like I'm
sorry.
And I was like no, hey, like I'mright there with you, like I
don't want to do this anymoreeither, but we're going to keep
doing it.
And I'm like pinky, promise methat.
And she's like well, no, if Ican keep a pinky promise, like I
might break it, like I'm notgoing to make one.
And I was like no, that's thewhole point of the pinky promise
.
Like that's why I said what Isaid, like we're going to do
(23:29):
this and like if I'm doing it,you're doing it.
Like every sunrise, everysunset, and it literally just
like came out of like well, myfingers, like it just kind of
like created itself right thereand at the time, twitch streamer
(23:50):
, TikTok creator, I was already,I was having growth on both of
my platforms and then I alreadyhad Royalty Design Co for my
storefront to make merch for mystream, and I like to design and
be creative.
Anyways, I've had like a howshould I work like a shirt
business of like making anddesigning shirts since 2018.
So that wasn't yes, yes.
So that wasn't something thatwas necessarily new to me, but
it was something that I had justlike was necessarily new to me,
but it was something that I hadjust like already been doing
(24:11):
anyway.
So I was like, well, okay, Ihave a platform, I'm able to
make merchandise for it, and Ialready have a community of
people that already feel thisway, because there'd be people.
So my community was very muchno matter who you are, no matter
where you live, they're fromaustralia, all over the globe,
and stream on different timezones, different walks of life,
different religious beliefs,different marital belief, like
(24:35):
you name, like people of all,all walks of life in my
community would be together andbe a community, no matter what
type of day you had hey, I had arough one.
Hey, come here and hang out andbe as you are, like it is okay
to to be you and to be here andto take a breath, like you are
welcome here, no matter whattype of bad day you are.
Like it is okay to be you andto be here and to take a breath,
like you are welcome here, nomatter what type of bad day you
had.
We are here just to hang outand to literally be a vibe Like
(24:56):
that was the whole concept of it.
It was a very welcoming place.
So my community already sees mystream and stuff as a welcoming
place for mental health.
If you had a bad day, like youcan find someone here in this
community that will be able tobe friends with you or run games
with you, and like you couldfind your best friend in my
community maybe.
So I was like, well, I have aplatform and a way of all this
(25:17):
and since I was little I've hadthat feeling of I don't want
other people to feel the painthat I do Right.
So it's already been growing inme my entire life.
I think, if anything, I can atleast save mine and my friend's
life, mm-hmm, and hopefullysomebody else's too.
So that night I drew up askeleton hand.
And then I slapped it on asweater on the wrist part, right
(25:39):
here where my logo is.
I put the hands on her sweaterright here and I had my crown
logo, like over here on thesweater.
But the wrist had the pinkypromise and I didn't tell her.
And I told him like, you haveto call me when you get it, like
.
And then so she opened.
I made her close her eyes whenshe opened it.
She was video timing me and sheopened it and just all the
tears and from that moment I'mlike this is I'm going to make
something of this and I'm goingto help change at least somebody
(26:00):
else's life and in turn, itended up saving mine.
And so in these last two years,the Pinky Promise Project is in
all 50 states.
It has been shipped to all 50states and four other countries
and has over 2 million views onTikTok in two years and there's
been over 150.
There's a digital Pinky Promisepledge.
There's these little like cardsright here that I have on my
(26:22):
website, but there's a digitalversion of this that you can
sign.
There's over 200 people thathave signed it and these little
pledge cards.
I have handed out over 3,500 inthe last year that I have had
these cards going.
So, in the sense of impactingother people and including a K
through 12, aside from that3,500, there's a K through 12
(26:43):
charter school in New York.
Their superintendent found meon TikTok and said I want this
project to be in my school andtheir entire K through 12 got
these cards.
I even like locally a couple ofmy schools.
I'm getting in touch with,working with them because
bullying is a very, very bigthing everywhere, but especially
in the youth.
Not something else.
I feel like mental health isvery much.
There's.
(27:03):
Something else that goes on isthat people don't think that
kids have mental health problemslike it starts somewhere, even
if because feelings are hard,like I am going to be 31 next
month and feelings are hard, letalone for a little one through
17 year old, like all all ages.
Like it's it's a very seriousthing through all all ages.
(27:25):
There's a line in the pledgethat is dedicated to a youth
that committed suicide to be abuddy, not a bully, because he
was bullied so hard, and hisfamily members are a part of the
community.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
And just to piggyback on that, I love that you're
wearing red, because the firstsemester of college we call it
the red zone.
We call it the red zone becausethe first two months of
September and October collegestudents are the most depressed,
the most suicide attemptshappen, the most sexual assaults
happen, the most ODs happen.
(27:58):
Because you know you have kids.
Either they were to shelter andthey got run free and they
don't know anything about whatis in there, or they have never
been exposed to these things, orthey are pressured to things,
believe it or not.
In in university you also getbullied.
It's when you have roommates,is when you you're in sororities
, fraternities, etc.
Talking about not feeling wellenough and fit enough, right, um
(28:20):
, and the pressures ofperforming.
Brooke doesn't know this, butby the time that this episode
will air, 170 new pledges aregoing to be coming her way from
the university.
Because I teach a class that isabout wellness and mental health
for freshmen.
Part of the exercise will besomething like that right, wink,
(28:43):
wink.
If you're hearing this andyou're my student, please, the
random surprise.
But because if you'restruggling and you're my student
, please, they're in thesurprise.
But because if you'restruggling and you're not like I
don't do video games, I'm notin streaming and blah, blah,
blah, and I don't have nobody,just YouTube.
You can text 741741.
That is a warm line foremergencies, so you can text
(29:04):
somebody in the other side.
A counselor or a professionalor a volunteer is going to come
and text with you Because,remember, it only takes 10
minutes to harm those feelingsand save your life.
Now, if you are struggling withyour mental health, I have put
all resources in the footnotes,but also know you are not alone.
(29:24):
Suicide attempts and suicidecompletion are the number two
leading cause of death in peoplebetween 16 and 25.
So if you're struggling withthat, just know that life is
hard but life gets better, likein a video game.
(29:46):
You know you're like you say Idon't know how to walk, I don't
know how to get out of thiscorner, but somebody comes in
and guides you out of it.
Right, and I know there aresituations where it feels
impossible to get out, but thereis help out there and with that
I ask you, brooke, what otherthan the video games have helped
you to stay healthy?
(30:07):
Do you go to therapy?
Do you do coaching?
Healthy to, do you go totherapy?
Do you do coaching.
Do you what?
What got you out of it otherthan the?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
video games and gaming.
Well, a lot of things honestly.
A majority of everything that Ido in my life is therapeutic
for me in some way, and I thinkthat's kind of because of this
current era that I'm in withlike self-love.
So everything I do I'm tryingto be very intentional about,
like this is filling up my cup,or this is putting energy
forward for my family or, youknow, my business.
(30:36):
I try to be very intentionalabout it.
But music, honestly, music isso therapeutic and like car
karaoke, I tell you what.
You crank that up, you rolldown them windows, yes, roll
them down, get on the freewayand just car karaoke.
To that, I tell you, you wantto.
(30:56):
I know gas is expensive, I meanyou're in.
California.
Yeah, I know, I didn't say inNevada gas is expensive, but it
is worth it.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Even if you're just driving in a loop is worth it
well, if you think about it, atherapy session is like 200
dollars a session you're notgoing to spend 200 on gas.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I mean, shoot, get a red bull or a starbucks, go for
a drive and then get some mickeyd french fries on the way home
or a dairy queen blizzard, andthat's still cheaper than like a
paying for a therapy sessionand you got some.
Got to go outside in the sun,you got to work on your throat
chakra a little bit, you got tohear a vibe that you really like
and get out, whether it's anger, sadness, whatever feeling.
I mean I could be feeling so sadand listen to such a happy song
(31:39):
and then just like scream atthe top of my lungs and like
feel better, or the opposite,like it's, it's wild.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
So music was huge yes , and it's a scientific research
about the music and how wecorrelate to it, because you're
engaging in all your senses withmusic.
But also, do you ever didtherapy?
And, by the way, this is notdiscouraging people to go to
therapy.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I very much support going to therapy or finding a
coach because I very muchbelieve so.
I had a hard experience withtherapy.
So I went to therapy when I wasyounger, did not have a good
experience Therapy back in thelate 90s, early, no, so that.
So that's my first experiencewith therapy, which pretty much
tore me off of therapy the restof my life until there was a
(32:29):
point to where I had to go totherapy.
Right, so I did.
I loved my therapist.
She was great, um, but thenthere was a point to where I
felt like I wasn't getting thehelp I needed and I didn't know
how to vocalize that to herbecause I was very worried about
hurting her feelings and thenmy sessions almost ended up
seeming like a waste of time.
So if you are going to therapyor you have a coach and you feel
(32:52):
that stagnant type of a thing,I understand that feeling and
it's very, very hard to vocalizeit.
But please spare yourself thetime, the energy, the
frustration and the money at theend of it to vocalize that and
say it.
You don't have to come out andbe like, you know, a crazy, hey,
you're not helping me andyou're a terrible therapist or
(33:12):
whatever, like hey, this is howI'm feeling, right?
We're supposed to be talkingabout feelings, right?
So hey, this is how I'm feeling,and lately I feel like I'm just
having a hard time getting thetools that I need to move
forward, because I'm stillstruggling with the same things
in my tool house, like my toolbelt has not gotten an upgrade
and it needs an upgrade, so canyou help me upgrade that, or can
(33:34):
you help point me in adirection of someone that can
help me upgrade that, becausethere's so many different types
of therapies yeah, like so manydifferent kinds.
So maybe that just one therapyor therapist or type of therapy
isn't what you need right now,and it's okay to experiment with
it, like I talked about earlier, and to go through stages of
right now I need therapy NowI've worked through that and
(33:55):
right now I need a coach to helppush me forward.
Like my tool house is awesome,but now I need a guide to help
push me forward with my tools,type of like a thing with my
tools type of like a thing I Ialways recommend when you go to
therapy.
Therapy is not forever, by theway.
I know it is not for everybody.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I would love that because I'm a therapist.
But no, therapy is not foreverand there is different flavors
of therapy, like in video games,different levels, because you
have different monsters toattack, right?
Yes, so if you go to therapyand you feel stagnant, just ask
your therapist what is your plan?
Because we all, as therapists,we create a plan, right Like a
(34:34):
map of where we want to take youor where you need to be to free
you, really kind of thing.
And if you are feeling stuck oryou feel like that connection
is not there anymore, thattherapeutic connection, it's
okay to say peace out.
As therapists, we are human, butwe don't get our feelings hurt
(34:54):
because we're supposed to beblank slates, right?
For example, I work with activeduty and first responders and
chronically ill and we alwaysmake the joke that we're like I
like sad things, and becausethey're like you should enjoy
this too much and because theywere like I have one in
particular that I love, it waswhy you changed the trajectory
(35:16):
of my therapy.
I used to do only kids andteens, and why not?
And this particular set ofclients?
They were like whatever we toldyou, as dark as it is, we don't
worry that you cannot take itKind of like we were saying we
don't worry that we're going tohurt your feelings, and that
kind of peace that it gives aperson that somebody else can
(35:37):
hold.
That heavy lift, yes, is whatyou need Now when we talk about
coaches.
Coaches are your cheerleadersfor one objective only, meaning
I want to lose weight, I want toeat healthier, I want to set a
goal to sell this many things orI want to get this many
followers.
That is what a coach does.
(35:58):
It's hard when a coach startstalking about like, oh, let's
heal your inner child, and stufflike that, if you haven't gone
first to therapy because theycan open wounds, that they are
too big.
And so I'm not saying that youcannot go to neither.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
What I'm saying is sometimes we need both because,
yeah, sometimes you can use themtogether to move forward and
that you might end up getting toa certain stage where you're
like, okay, I'm done with thistype of therapy and can change
therapies or change type ofcoaches, or like I've really
been looking into traumacoaching lately, right, but yeah
, there's so many differentthings out there and it is okay
(36:34):
to experiment, it is okay to doyour research, it is okay to
call and ask and do thequestions.
Right, because ultimately andyou being a therapist, I'm
looking at you for your grantsand to see if my assumption is
right on this but you at the end, just want everybody to get the
help that they need, whetherthat is with you or not, and if
you cannot provide the services,the resources that that person
(36:58):
is looking for, you are not justgoing to be like, yeah, come
here, we'll figure it out.
You'll be like, hey, I mightnot be the the one, but I know
these lists of people and I canhelp point you in that direction
.
Right, like it is okay to askthe questions instead of just
well, sounds all right, let'sgive it a go, right, and and
then end up leaving likepotential bad taste in your
mouth or therapy when it justwasn't that type or that person,
(37:21):
right, that wasn't your flavorto help you move forward, right?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Right.
And again, tying it to videogames.
It's like not all video gamesare made for everybody.
No, you know, like you have thecozy ones, you have the gory
ones, you have the action ones.
The same with card games orwhatever game that you play.
You try and you're like this isnot for me, but you try.
(37:46):
And now you know One thing mynugget for everybody is therapy
or coaching can only feeluncomfortable, but not painful.
Yes, if it feels painful, thenit's a bad sign.
Also, just because we'retherapists, we are not gods no
at all and everything else Right.
So if you find that too, likeyou know, and if you are with a
(38:09):
coach also, another thing that Iput as a red flag and I train
coaches in trauma-informed andethics is if they're selling you
things when you're in the thickof the like.
You know you're like in thatthick and say, oh, by the way, I
have this other course that youcan do.
I'm like no, no.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Ground for the hill E-break.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
E-break.
But we say all this because,yes, sometimes we don't have the
money or the resources to go totherapy or even for a coach.
So we have music, we havecommunities.
I think the thing that saveslives more than anything is
community, and it's somethingthat we have lost in this
country.
For people that is hearing usoutside of the United States, we
(38:53):
have lost being in community,and we are human beings and we
were meant to be in circles ofcommunity, because when one
falls, we all fall.
So what will be your threenuggets and red flags for
anybody that is hearing us aboutmental health and how to take
care of themselves?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Well to touch on the additional things other than
just music and community thatcan help save.
I believe movement is the bestmedicine.
So, whether it is yoga, takinga walk, stretching, working out
out I work out in the garageevery single morning.
Uh, lately I've been taking thedogs on walks, we've been
(39:33):
trying to lap them around, justtrying to get outside more, get
some extra steps in before thesnow comes.
But, um, I truly believemovement is the best medicine.
I can tell I was a certifiedpersonal trainer.
I lost I gained 100 pounds whenI had my son I.
I have since lost it all.
Before that I had anotherweight loss transformation type
of a thing.
I gained a ton of weight afterhigh school.
I've been all over the list, butfitness has always been a
(39:54):
mental safe place for me,whether it was in a gym or just
working out at home.
I was a beach body coach, likeyears ago, coincidentally before
the big C word hit in 2020 andall the things shut down and all
that Coincidentally, butanyways, movement, any type of
movement, just move your bodyand listen to your body, and
(40:16):
it's hard to listen to ourselveswhen we don't want to listen to
ourselves and when we don'tallow ourselves to see ourselves
, so it's hard to know what wewant.
But I truly believe movement isthe best medicine.
And journaling and a lot ofpeople I know that just just
journal it out, just journal itout, like.
And then people get a pad andpaper and a pencil and you're
like okay, now, what Right?
(40:37):
What do I write?
Do I write a prompt?
Am I writing what the color myshoes are Like?
Speaker 3 (40:41):
what the sun's like Right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Yeah, like what I was thinking about 20 minutes ago,
what I was thinking about 20minutes ago, what I'm going to
have for dinner like what am Idoing?
Speaker 3 (40:49):
I'm so glad that you brought the journaling because
in fact in this episode I put afree journal, but I call it
beginner journal because it hasall kinds of journaling it has
color journaling, it has promptjournaling, it has emotion
journaling because, as you say,journaling is not just writing
the color of your shoes.
It can start there.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
It can start there.
There's nothing wrong withstarting there If you're like I
just need to get, because thatis the really hard thing for me
sometimes is feeling veryblocked, like mental block, like
pen to paper.
I have all these ideas and thenpen to paper and it just stops
and it's like I just need tostart going.
So I will literally startwriting.
This morning my coffee wasreally good and I'm not going to
write negative, poopy things.
(41:31):
I'm going to write positivethings, to invoke the positivity
that I am trying to continuegrowing.
So I, if anything that's, I'mgoing to.
My coffee was really good.
The birds didn't make me angrythis morning.
They were really peaceful.
Instead, you, you know,sometimes when they start
squawking some, you know, somemornings like oh, it's so nice,
and other mornings like do youmind?
Right, you had three too manycups of coffee shush, like right
(41:52):
, we're done, right, so juststarting somewhere and putting
pen to paper.
There's plenty of journalprompts, um, whether it be
online or linked um in thedescription.
And then I actually did designa journal.
It's a guided journal, a dailyjournal called the Promise of
Purpose.
There there's like a dailyaffirmation and just guided and
it's it's little, it's quick.
(42:13):
This whole thing is literallylike if your brain is going, by
the time you've answered justthese things and you feel like
you got some stuff on your chestyou just want to write out and
put in the universe.
Or you want to manifest, or youhave emotions yeah, you need to
get off your chest.
Or you have an idea that youdon't want to lose, or something
is just on your heart and youjust feel like you need to put
it on paper.
(42:33):
That's what that big emptything's for.
Um, it's on amazon.
We can link it below too, yes,but there are so many things out
there to help guide you throughthat journaling process until
you can, because it's okay toexperiment with it right, right
and see what you like and whatyou don't.
So, now, like, let's say, theone that's linked below.
You like a piece of the prompt?
And then something that's inthis one you like.
And then you saw something onTikTok that you like too.
(42:54):
Right, okay, get a blankjournal.
Like I have a stationaryproblem.
I tell you what.
Yeah, yep, we get a blank one.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
We get a blank one.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
We throw some cute stickers on it or whatever.
If it's not already cute on theoutside, got it.
And then you take the pieces ofthe things and you make your
own journal routine or whateverit may be Same with like working
out or even like creating amorning routine, because
sometimes having structure hashelped.
Yep, sometimes having structurehas helped me when I am
(43:25):
mentally not in a good placeeither, knowing that I need to
show up for myself and do thethings to take care of myself,
because right now my braindoesn't want to give myself love
and I'm being mean to myself.
But I know that I have mynormal morning routine that I
have created over time, overyears, that I still change all
the time, like it is not alocked in solid in stone, like
(43:45):
it is okay to be flexible.
The biggest thing withconsistency is adaptability.
That's really what consistencyis?
It's just being able to adaptand still do the things that you
need to do.
Be able to consistently show upfor yourself and love yourself,
which is very, very hard.
Being able to adapt to how yourbrain is chemically going or
your life is going at that pointin time, and still show up for
(44:08):
yourself and to do the corethings to make sure that you are
still prioritizing yourself andfilling your cup up.
So the morning routinePersonally, I wake up and work
out.
Sometimes I try to journal andthen I have like my tarot cards.
I try to do it.
You know I get like my inner,my innerness, okay.
You know I get like my inner,my innerness, okay.
But when I am really struggling, I will turn to the most basic
(44:31):
morning type of a routine for meto make sure that I am checking
the boxes for myself, because Idon't.
I know I'm going to feel somuch worse later in the day and
then I'm going to be mad atmyself even more for not just
doing the things in the morningbecause I was awake anyways in
my head being mean to myself,like it's just a revolving door,
you know how it's the Ferriswheel, right.
(44:53):
So movement journaling, figuringout little things like that,
whether it's throughout your dayor in a big routine, to give
yourself a little bit of love,to fill up your cup.
Just a little bit For me.
If you guys end up following meon socials, you'll see I
randomly go find tractors in thedesert or on a construction day
.
They make me happy and I feellike a crazy person off the side
(45:17):
of the road on the dirt to gorun and take a picture like a.
TikTok in front of a tractor.
I really really do and there'llbe busy roads, it'll be outside
the freeway Like just keep cars, no-transcript, and whatever,
(45:56):
whatever, like that is notreality for everybody.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
And that is not self-care, that's consumerism.
We have a we have an episodeactually talking about that.
By the way, PSA, One lesson toit, because self-care is not
that.
In fact, self-care has aWesternized and consumerized
that totally lost what it was.
But to wrap it up, Brooke, I'mso honored to be in your
(46:26):
presence because you're such aninspiration to each and one of
us and for everybody that'slistening.
Remember you are not alone,Even in the darkest days that
you feel you are.
There is communities, there issupport.
You can text to 741-741.
You can call 988 if it's really, really bad.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
And I believe you can also text 9882.
You can text 988.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
And we're going to put in Brooke's webpage and in
my page.
You have a plethora of warmlines.
What is a warm line?
It's a line that you call whenyou're like not doing well, but
you are not so in this otherspectrum that you need emergency
care.
This one is just I'm having ahard day, I need to talk to
somebody today, and that is foranybody that is struggling with
(47:12):
body image, with mental image,with emotions, and also for
people that have gone through alot.
So, if you are hearing us,please go check those websites,
put it in your phone.
In fact, if you're hearing meright now and you're seeing me,
please grab your phone and justtext 741741.
Put that face and see what itpops back, because that way,
(47:34):
don't worry, they don't continueasking you.
They ask you if they want totalk to us and you say no, thank
you.
They don't send the police toyou, they don't send emergency.
It's just I want you to havethat phone number and that text
line because it saves lives,truly, truly saves lives, kind
of like the Twitch communitysaved Brooke's life and it has
saved many, many other lives.
(47:54):
So today, ask everybody, go tothe website and sign up for the
Pinky Promise.
And for now, please raise yourlittle pinky and let's make a
promise for every sunset andevery sunrise.
Thank you, brooke, I appreciateyou, I love you, I appreciate
you, I love you and until nexttime.
Bye everybody.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Let me just pause it as we conclude today's episode.
Take a moment to reflect.
Be proud of the journey, forevery step that brings you
closer to who you truly are.
Embrace the kindness towardsyourself as you did to each one
of our guests.
Honor the bravery in youractions and celebrate the
(48:43):
importance of mental wellnesswith us.
And remember it's an exercisethat we practice daily.
Continue to grow and flourish,knowing that we are in this
training for our mental wellnesstogether.
We are so proud to have you aspart of our community, so join
(49:04):
us on Instagram at our OasisCommunity Podcast for more
inspiring conversations,valuable resources and supported
content, including journals,worksheets and content in
Spanish.
Exciting things are in thehorizon.
Our Oasis Community break roomsare coming soon to grab tools
(49:26):
and take a break for your mentalhealth.
Also, we are featuring oursix-month training ethical
mental health coaching program,designed for new and experienced
coaches, as well as holisticand healing professionals.
Enroll to create a safe andtransformative experience to
your clients.
Links in the bio.
Until next time, take care,stay connected and welcome to
(49:53):
our Oasis community.
Hi, I'm Brooke.
I am the owner of RoyaltyDesign Co, the host of Babbling
Tat Podcast and the founder ofthe Pinky Promise Project.
You can find everything onTat's Corner at
RoyaltyDesignCocom or on socialsat XXTatQueenXX, and everything
is linked right through thereall about mental health and
(00:22):
growing through this mess calledlife together, because we stick
together and we heal together.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello beautiful souls and welcome to Oroasis
Community Podcast.
I am Dr Roldan, your host.
I am a doctor in clinicalpsychology, a BIPOC therapist
professor and a mindful somaticcoach.
While I am a therapist,remember I'm not your therapist.
This podcast is not asubstitute for professional
(00:51):
mental health care, but we haveresources in our website and
Instagram to support you in thatsearch.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Welcome everybody and thank you so much for joining
us in another wonderful episodeof our Oasis community podcast.
Today I have a friend, a gamerfriend and just an adorable
human being that I call myfriend, brooke.
So grab your cup of tea, coffeeor any warm beverage or cold
beverage that makes you feelcozy and cheers my friend.
(01:20):
And today we are going to talkabout being human.
What do I mean with being human?
We all have been in the darkestplaces of our soul and
sometimes life hit us hard and,as we know, not everybody has
access to mental health or noteverybody feels comfortable
going to a therapist.
So Brooke is going to share withus her story and how she
(01:42):
created the Pinky Project thatwhen you guys hear it, it's just
such a warming thing for myheart and for all the brave
souls that are survivors of SI.
This is for you, and this isyour trigger warning that if you
need to take care of you, we'regoing to be talking about
suicide ideation, suicide,mental health and why not?
So please take a break.
(02:03):
If this is not the episode foryou, don't worry.
We have a meditation, one thatyou can go check before getting
this one.
But this is your triggerwarning and final warning.
So, brooke, tell us about you,tell us how you are here and how
you almost went wearing.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, hello.
Thank you so much for having mehere.
It is an honor and a pleasure,and just thank you for having me
here.
I am Brooke.
I am the owner of RoyaltyDesign Co, which is a store that
has mental health apparel,merch products, that sort of
thing, with plenty more to comelater.
And the main thing on RoyaltyDesign Co is the Pinky Promise
(02:42):
Project, which is my mentalhealth project.
We got, oh, there we go.
I should have wore the one onthe other side.
It's my mental health projectthat I created in 2022.
I created it to save my ownlife, but we will progress to
that in a moment.
Back up a little more, becausethere's so much more before all
of that.
I have struggled with mentalhealth my entire life.
(03:04):
For all of that, I havestruggled with mental health my
entire life, whether it wasbullying or home life or just
not fitting in.
That's been me my entire life.
The first time I had suicidalthoughts I was eight years old
and they just continuouslyprogressed throughout my entire
life.
And back then, in those days inthe 90s, it was very mental
(03:24):
health.
The whole thing was very, very,very different, right, right,
anxiety wasn't really a thing.
You just you definitely didn'ttalk about it, like if we think
nowadays, you know, mentalhealth is kind of weird thing to
talk about.
Back then it was like you justdidn't, you sucked it up, you
dealt with it and you just kepton keeping on and toughen up.
It wasn't okay to not be okay,at least like in the outside
(03:45):
world and internalize that myentire life and from a very
young age, I had the feelingthat I never wanted someone else
to feel the way that I felt,because it was just so painful
and it was so sad and it wasvery, very lonely and just the
constant like what is wrong withme?
What is wrong with me to whereno one wants to be around me, no
(04:06):
one wants to be friends with me.
Like I get good grades, I saythe things like yeah, my family
doesn't have money for me tohave the trendy clothes.
But you know, like I'm okay,I'm kind of weird, but like,
what's wrong with being weird?
Like I like playing sports.
I'm kind of a tomboy.
I hated pink.
I was not your girly girl typeof a no, like I wouldn't touch
pink, Like it's lava, it's goingto give me cooties, like no.
(04:28):
So that was also, you know,weird because I wasn't a super
big girly girl and it's just allthese different things and it's
like why are all these thingswrong with me?
Because that's not who I am andthat's not like who I want to
be and why do I have to be likethat?
But society was very much likethis is how you to be, this is
who you need to be and you needto, you know, follow this step
(04:48):
of things.
You need to get good grades andthen go to college and then do
this and do that.
And you know, like follow thelist, the road of life as it's
painted on a white picket fencepicture, and it's just it's's.
It was so hard feeling like youjust don't necessarily like fit
(05:08):
into that, like why do I haveto like I loved school and I
loved learning and I lovedcollege and all of those things?
I mean I didn't.
I didn't go to college.
Technically I'm a beauty schooldropout, so hey, it's okay to
it's okay to pivot and no,college is not for everybody.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
so if you're listening to this, are like, oh
my, they're just college nerds.
No, not everybody goes tocollege.
Yes, I am a professor of auniversity, but I always say,
you know, there is alwaysstraight school.
College is not for everybodyand sometimes we just go, like
you say, because it's A, b, c.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
And this is what people have told us, especially
our parents.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So if you are a youngster or a college I hate
saying a college dropout I calllike.
You know how we havegluten-free people and like
vegetarian, so we have like nocollege people.
You know, like I'm like you sayI'm allergic to pink, I'm
allergic to college.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Now, yeah, that's, that's okay.
It's okay, we haveentrepreneurs.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
We have a beauty school.
We have right now we have adecline in plumbing and
carpentry, so blue collar isabsolutely incredible.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yes, little random key ADHD scroll moment, but I
think, instead of what like proband stats and whatever you
learn in math and all of thoserandom things like have, have a
blue collar type of a you knowexperience type of, yeah, a
class thing, like I rememberwhen, like, auto and woodworking
were in school and then theytook it out when I was still in
(06:35):
school.
Yeah, like I.
Yeah, no, that's it is okay tobe a blue collar.
I was a blue collar like I didit my entire pregnancy.
I was an insulator.
I I helped build the TeslaGigafactory and I am so proud of
that.
That's why I love tractors.
Right, right.
It's okay to not take atraditional path and to be
different.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
It is okay If you haven't seen Brooks.
She has a TikTok and every dayshe goes for every sunset and
every sunrise and I love herbecause she's always in front of
a truck or construction thingbut, it looks so glamorous and
I'm like how in the world shemakes this look so glamorous?
you know, but this old sayingthat if you're struggling with
(07:14):
your mental health because Ihave a good friend that their
parents are like one is anastrophysicist and the mom is a
doctor, a they are a welderbecause they're, I cannot do any
of those things.
One, because they haveattention deficit disorder and
two, because school system wasnot creative for people with
different learning abilities.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
And they can create the most beautiful things,
Incredible.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And it makes three times more than their parents,
which I was like anyways, andwithout the college debt of all
of it, and then it's okay.
So I guess, to bring this allback to mental health and all of
the things in the path of life.
It is okay to experiment with it.
It is okay to experiment withdifferent things.
(07:59):
Yeah, to figure out what makesyou happy.
If college is not the route foryou and you like to work with
your hands, or you like to becreative and artsy, fartsy, or
my brain likes this and I liketo do this.
I taught everything.
I taught myself everything Iknow about my business, my store
, being a Twitch streamer, acontent creator, everything from
Google and YouTube, hours ofGoogle and YouTube.
(08:21):
There was no college-ing fornone of that.
Like taught myself everything.
Like there is.
So it is okay to view it as anexperiment.
And that it is okay, you know,because, like with experiments,
if you don't get the end resultthat you want, you just try it
again.
Yeah, and it is okay.
Then you try little differentthings that well, this didn't
work, but I liked this, I likedthis piece of it.
(08:41):
So I'm going to experiment withsomething else that still has
that piece of it and it's.
I read a book called theSelf-Love Experiment.
Yes, somewhere up here,somewhere back here, but the
biggest thing that I pulled fromthat, that I've tried to embody
in life so hard is viewing yourlife, your self-love, your
career, like your mindset,things, figuring out who we are,
(09:04):
because I feel like we'vemasked so much over the years,
of being told this is who youneed to be, this is the society
way of being, this is correct,this is proper.
You're weird.
Don't do that in public.
Like whatever it may be.
Like we put on all these masksand we cover ourselves and feel
like this is the era where we'relike shrek in the onion.
Right, you need to like peelback the layers, right.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
So like get to the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
We're unmasking and peeling off the layers.
But to do that we need toexperiment to figure out what
those things are inside of usthat really make us tick.
So viewing it as an experimentto where it's okay to not have
success at the end of it, thatit's not a failure.
You're just learning somethingthat you did or didn't like and
(09:49):
for these reasons, you're goingto keep moving forward and try
again.
Yeah, Taking that sense offailure and wasting time and if
I'm going to waste time, I'm noteven going to do it anyways.
Or what's the point?
It's just going to be a waste.
Like I'm really bad abouttalking myself out of things and
telling myself, oh well, it'sjust for me it's a waste.
Like what's the point?
Like no, it's not worth it.
It is worth it, you are worthit.
And viewing it as an experimenthas really helped me personally
.
Just go for so many things andit's okay if they didn't end up
(10:12):
panning out like it's totallyokay and it's.
It's helped me give myself thatgrace just as an experiment.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Video games, and we mentioned that one.
Brooke and I, we are all gamers, but Brooke is way better than
me.
But games teach you resiliency,teach you those tools of like
okay, it didn't work like this.
Oh well, I die.
I have like all these threelives to do this right, or you
learn to like to ask for help,to investigate.
(10:42):
So let's now dive into thevideo game world.
How do you got into it, why areyou into it and why you're a
twitch streamer?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
so growing up I actually did not play video
games very often.
Um, it was not a thing in thehouse growing up.
My dad had a nintendo 64 and ifI was at his house, my brother
and I I would play Mario Party,mario Kart or whatever together.
I was always Princess Peach andmy favorite map was her
birthday cake.
(11:12):
Yeah, that was my favorite one.
That's pretty much the onlything I remember from the N64.
Oh, and my controller was thepurple see-through one.
Yeah, that was when he had iton the cartridges to make sure,
like if they didn't work andwhatever.
But on that that was my real,like video gaming experience
growing up as a kid.
Eventually my dad later got anxbox and I used to play tau fang
(11:33):
, so like mortal combat type ofa thing with fighters and you,
yeah, um, but even then I didn'tplay it very often and it's got
a lot of time there and at myhouse that wasn't like video
games, just weren't a thing.
So growing up I actually didn'treally play video games, but in
the sense of just games as awhole, I would play the ever
(11:54):
loving crap out of board gamesand card games.
Yes, just because I didn't havevideo games as an option, right
?
So my grandma and I we wouldplay card games and board games
and dominoes and dice games.
So in that sense of you don'thave to like same concept of
games, in that type of sense,kind of like what we talked on
the panel back in March atWonderCon, like, even if you're
(12:15):
not well, I'm not a gamer, videogames don't apply to me Like
those little games you play onyour phone that little you know,
yeah, if you play, like to playsolitary, you like to play, you
know, dominoes or dice orwhatever, like it's still a game
, even if it's just not likevirtual, like games, a game.
I think that's also why I lovesports so much, like right it's
a game right?
um, anyways, back to video games.
(12:37):
So I just I never really playedvideo games like ever growing
up.
So it's it's very, veryinteresting to be in the space
of video games now and to loveit so much now and for it to be
such a peaceful escape.
Like I still can't walk andlook on controller to this day.
I still can't.
I'll still get stuck in acorner.
It'll make me sick if mysensitivity is up too high, like
(12:59):
I can't.
I can't do the thing.
I play mouse and key.
I am not that good of a gamer.
So your comment earlier earliersaying I'm Ben absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I only do the cozy.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I used to do Mortal Kombat and all that I was going
to say I'm a button master onMortal Kombat, like Mario Party,
the mini games, I'm kind ofokay, but Mario Kart, my
driving's not A1.
I'm not, I'm not your next f1racer.
I tell you that right now.
No, no, absolutely not not me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
So for for people listening to us and I will put
the link uh, we did a panelabout the benefits on mental
health on video games and that'swhy brooke was referring to in
wondercon last.
We did that panel because, one,both of us know how life-saving
video games can be for somebodythat's struggling and you will
(13:50):
be like what?
No?
And also the other thing isthat people think that video
gamers are under the ground inthe basement or in a room all
stinky and stuff like that.
No, that was like the typicalnerd movie of the 90s.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
It's not like that, like stereotype.
Yeah, way back then.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, it's not like that.
Your nerd is Silicon Valley, amansion with all the nuts, so it
has changed Very much.
Yeah, but tell me, tell ourpublic a little bit about that
panel.
It meant a lot to you, but itmeant a lot to me to show people
(14:30):
the power of community Allthese podcasts in our Oasis
community.
Is that Like, take a break, grabsome tools and go back to live
life right, however that lookslike, but now you have a
community ruling for you, sotell me about community and
video games and how that, in away, saves lives.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
So my Twitch community, very much, was a very
, very, very big role in savingmy life in 2021 and 2022.
Big role in saving my life in2021 and 2022.
I was at the lowest low of mylife and I felt very, very alone
(15:14):
.
And not even just that I feltalone, I just I was.
I was very, very much alone.
I could not call mom, call dador insert person here like that.
That was very much, and I didnot.
I did not care if I woke up andsaw the next day, but my twitch
community was there and I wouldgo live every night and play
call of duty with my communityjust for a couple hours and even
(15:37):
if the tears were streaming andI would, you know, even come on
stream, be like you know what.
Guys, I'm sorry, I just I'mmentally I'm not here, I can't
do this tonight and we wouldjust hang out and just chit chat
for a little bit.
And next thing, you know, it'sbeen an hour or two and I'm like
you know what, let's load upand let's play a game, like,
let's run some, come on, let'sgo, and they were just there for
me, even though I was supposedto be there for them as like the
(15:58):
streamer, right, like you know,that community is there like,
yeah, I'm here for you guys,let's go.
And they were all yeah, and theywere all there for me and that
community only existed because Igot into video games, like
because I started streaming onTwitch, because I allowed myself
to open up to the idea of thereare tons of other people out
(16:20):
there in the world that alsofeel pain and have hard days and
just want to unmask and just bethemselves and not have that
have to require so much extraeffort and nonsense.
And then the fear of well,thankfully it's virtual, but the
fear of, you know, going out inpublic and trying to socialize,
(16:42):
to find your people, to findyour community right.
Maybe you live in the middle ofnowhere, maybe money's a thing
and maybe you're not confidentin yourself, in your appearance
or you know you just get socialanxiety, like it's being able to
pop in and out of a virtualcommunity where they just
honestlyyou might not even huh, they
(17:03):
just love you to be seen ofpopping in and out.
You know, technically you might.
Your name might not even benoticed unless you engage in
that community to be able tofind if that is a room that you
want to be in from the comfortof your home or your couch or
wherever, like on your phone, onyour computer, like that
(17:23):
virtual community was so, so, somuch in video games created
that Without video games, youknow that wouldn't have been a
thing and like, granted, call ofDuty, there's a lot of toxicity
in that.
So that's probably not the bestexample to use for finding
friends.
But I found my best friend, mybest friend that my son calls
Auntie Harry, in a Call of Dutylobby because of my Twitch
(17:45):
stream.
I didn't have anyone to squadwith and they were like hey, I
have a spot, do you want to run?
And I'm like I spend all mytime dead, like I don't even
know how to walk and look, I'mtrying to figure out mouse and
keyboard.
I don't know how to put on aplate.
I don't know how to shoot LikeI don't Sure.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Like.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I'm dead weight but like, yeah, let's go join up.
And my best friend ever since.
So there are so many people outthere.
(18:19):
I mean, granted, you're goingto get a lot of the nastiness,
and in any video game you'regoing to get the one-offs in any
part of life.
Anywhere, I mean, you go to any, any store, any type of
restaurant or type of outing.
You're gonna get all of thosepeople in real life.
So I don't know, I think it'sjust over magnified in the
online space.
Just it's like real life too.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Guys, right, it's just to to piggyback on that,
because then they say oh, thereis the predators, this, this,
all that.
Outside.
The only thing in in videogames is like it shows really
fast, like if you have somebodythat you can tell is having one
of those days that they justright and they will take it on
people, and immediately you justkick them, kick them out or
(19:03):
block them and peace out.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's almost.
What's better about the videogame virtual community is that
you can do that in real life younecessarily can't do that.
You can't be like hey tosomeone's face in real life,
like you might get punched orsomething.
It's just not going to go verywell.
But in the virtual world, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I love also the virtual world and video games,
because once upon a time well,not still I have a chronic
illness and it will put me outof life, if you will, for months
, right, so like six months at atime.
I cannot even get up out of bed, oh my gosh.
But I can be halo, I can go andlike, put all the aggression
and frustration in a game.
(19:41):
I can go and explore differentworlds, all in the comfort of my
bed.
Not because I was well, I am aproud nerd, but it wasn't
because but it wasn't that I wasunder, like you know, the
basement or anything like that.
I was actually suffering.
And dad going to sell that infinal fantasy are my favorites,
(20:03):
because you can fly and do allthese things and you can be the
pretty princess that just slayseverybody.
Um, and in the music too, itwas very soothing and very
helpful, especially in thosemoments when you are in such a
dark place and you don't havecontrol of anything in your life
, like nothing.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But you can have control of who you go beat up in
mortal kombat if you're masterchief know like or go in Diablo
and be a wizard and go runthrough something, Right yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
So, yes, it's escapism, but at the same time,
it's almost a therapeutic way toreact to a lot of traumatic
events that you go through andalso a way to heal, because we
can change the outcome that wedidn't have before, right?
So for all my streamers, forall my gamers, I see you, we
(20:54):
love you and we thank you forwhat you do, even when you're
cranky and not very appropriate.
If you're hearing and you're aminor, please don't do that.
We kick you out of the room.
Yeah, don't, please don't.
The other thing that is verybeautiful is now they have
create rooms where it's almostlike a support group, where you
go and say stay 24 hours therebecause you have society, asian
(21:17):
or something happened, and weall talk to you because it only
takes eight minutes for somebodyto save a life.
What do I mean with that?
And you have hear me sayingthis a bunch of times in these
episodes, especially inSeptember because we don't tend
to talk to each other even foreight minutes.
We don't like wait what's up,hi bye, instead of like how are
(21:40):
you doing?
And sometimes you don't evenknow how.
Are you really right?
No, but really.
And what I like about the videogames is like hey, are you
ready for this?
Do you know how to use thiscontroller?
Blah, blah, blah.
Yes, I know.
But then they will tell you oh,I don't want you in my group
because you don't know how to dothis.
But then they think about itand say but I can teach you
after we win and I'm like okay,you know.
(22:04):
So that can matter.
And sometimes the tough love itnormal but to feel accepted, to
feel seen, to feel like youbelong there, right, and so that
brings me to see the point inmoving forward, just as a whole
in life.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So I was very much struggling, still going live
streaming.
My community is still there.
(22:47):
For me, it was very, very easyto see that I was not doing okay
, but that I was still showingup and like trying to be okay.
And then one night one of mymods, my moderators on Twitch
she sent me a text because shewas also very much struggling
and she was like hey, tat, Ican't do this.
Like I saw the screenshots ofthe text to this day, just
because I know that, lookingback, like every time I think of
those texts, I know thatthey're there.
I have yet to go back andactually like look and find them
for a really long time, but Iknow they're there because this
(23:08):
is how this project started,right, uh, but it was a thread
of text of you know, basically Ican't do this anymore, like I'm
sorry.
And I was like no, hey, like I'mright there with you, like I
don't want to do this anymoreeither, but we're going to keep
doing it.
And I'm like pinky, promise methat.
And she's like well, no, if Ican keep a pinky promise, like I
might break it, like I'm notgoing to make one.
And I was like no, that's thewhole point of the pinky promise
.
Like that's why I said what Isaid, like we're going to do
(23:29):
this and like if I'm doing it,you're doing it.
Like every sunrise, everysunset, and it literally just
like came out of like well, myfingers, like it just kind of
like created itself right thereand at the time, twitch streamer
(23:50):
, TikTok creator, I was already,I was having growth on both of
my platforms and then I alreadyhad Royalty Design Co for my
storefront to make merch for mystream, and I like to design and
be creative.
Anyways, I've had like a howshould I work like a shirt
business of like making anddesigning shirts since 2018.
So that wasn't yes, yes.
So that wasn't something thatwas necessarily new to me, but
it was something that I had justlike was necessarily new to me,
but it was something that I hadjust like already been doing
(24:11):
anyway.
So I was like, well, okay, Ihave a platform, I'm able to
make merchandise for it, and Ialready have a community of
people that already feel thisway, because there'd be people.
So my community was very muchno matter who you are, no matter
where you live, they're fromaustralia, all over the globe,
and stream on different timezones, different walks of life,
different religious beliefs,different marital belief, like
(24:35):
you name, like people of all,all walks of life in my
community would be together andbe a community, no matter what
type of day you had hey, I had arough one.
Hey, come here and hang out andbe as you are, like it is okay
to to be you and to be here andto take a breath, like you are
welcome here, no matter whattype of bad day you are.
Like it is okay to be you andto be here and to take a breath,
like you are welcome here, nomatter what type of bad day you
had.
We are here just to hang outand to literally be a vibe Like
(24:56):
that was the whole concept of it.
It was a very welcoming place.
So my community already sees mystream and stuff as a welcoming
place for mental health.
If you had a bad day, like youcan find someone here in this
community that will be able tobe friends with you or run games
with you, and like you couldfind your best friend in my
community maybe.
So I was like, well, I have aplatform and a way of all this
(25:17):
and since I was little I've hadthat feeling of I don't want
other people to feel the painthat I do Right.
So it's already been growing inme my entire life.
I think, if anything, I can atleast save mine and my friend's
life, mm-hmm, and hopefullysomebody else's too.
So that night I drew up askeleton hand.
And then I slapped it on asweater on the wrist part, right
(25:39):
here where my logo is.
I put the hands on her sweaterright here and I had my crown
logo, like over here on thesweater.
But the wrist had the pinkypromise and I didn't tell her.
And I told him like, you haveto call me when you get it, like
.
And then so she opened.
I made her close her eyes whenshe opened it.
She was video timing me and sheopened it and just all the
tears and from that moment I'mlike this is I'm going to make
something of this and I'm goingto help change at least somebody
(26:00):
else's life and in turn, itended up saving mine.
And so in these last two years,the Pinky Promise Project is in
all 50 states.
It has been shipped to all 50states and four other countries
and has over 2 million views onTikTok in two years and there's
been over 150.
There's a digital Pinky Promisepledge.
There's these little like cardsright here that I have on my
(26:22):
website, but there's a digitalversion of this that you can
sign.
There's over 200 people thathave signed it and these little
pledge cards.
I have handed out over 3,500 inthe last year that I have had
these cards going.
So, in the sense of impactingother people and including a K
through 12, aside from that3,500, there's a K through 12
(26:43):
charter school in New York.
Their superintendent found meon TikTok and said I want this
project to be in my school andtheir entire K through 12 got
these cards.
I even like locally a couple ofmy schools.
I'm getting in touch with,working with them because
bullying is a very, very bigthing everywhere, but especially
in the youth.
Not something else.
I feel like mental health isvery much.
There's.
(27:03):
Something else that goes on isthat people don't think that
kids have mental health problemslike it starts somewhere, even
if because feelings are hard,like I am going to be 31 next
month and feelings are hard, letalone for a little one through
17 year old, like all all ages.
Like it's it's a very seriousthing through all all ages.
(27:25):
There's a line in the pledgethat is dedicated to a youth
that committed suicide to be abuddy, not a bully, because he
was bullied so hard, and hisfamily members are a part of the
community.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
And just to piggyback on that, I love that you're
wearing red, because the firstsemester of college we call it
the red zone.
We call it the red zone becausethe first two months of
September and October collegestudents are the most depressed,
the most suicide attemptshappen, the most sexual assaults
happen, the most ODs happen.
(27:58):
Because you know you have kids.
Either they were to shelter andthey got run free and they
don't know anything about whatis in there, or they have never
been exposed to these things, orthey are pressured to things,
believe it or not.
In in university you also getbullied.
It's when you have roommates,is when you you're in sororities
, fraternities, etc.
Talking about not feeling wellenough and fit enough, right, um
(28:20):
, and the pressures ofperforming.
Brooke doesn't know this, butby the time that this episode
will air, 170 new pledges aregoing to be coming her way from
the university.
Because I teach a class that isabout wellness and mental health
for freshmen.
Part of the exercise will besomething like that right, wink,
(28:43):
wink.
If you're hearing this andyou're my student, please, the
random surprise.
But because if you'restruggling and you're my student
, please, they're in thesurprise.
But because if you'restruggling and you're not like I
don't do video games, I'm notin streaming and blah, blah,
blah, and I don't have nobody,just YouTube.
You can text 741741.
That is a warm line foremergencies, so you can text
(29:04):
somebody in the other side.
A counselor or a professionalor a volunteer is going to come
and text with you Because,remember, it only takes 10
minutes to harm those feelingsand save your life.
Now, if you are struggling withyour mental health, I have put
all resources in the footnotes,but also know you are not alone.
(29:24):
Suicide attempts and suicidecompletion are the number two
leading cause of death in peoplebetween 16 and 25.
So if you're struggling withthat, just know that life is
hard but life gets better, likein a video game.
(29:46):
You know you're like you say Idon't know how to walk, I don't
know how to get out of thiscorner, but somebody comes in
and guides you out of it.
Right, and I know there aresituations where it feels
impossible to get out, but thereis help out there and with that
I ask you, brooke, what otherthan the video games have helped
you to stay healthy?
(30:07):
Do you go to therapy?
Do you do coaching?
Healthy to, do you go totherapy?
Do you do coaching.
Do you what?
What got you out of it otherthan the?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
video games and gaming.
Well, a lot of things honestly.
A majority of everything that Ido in my life is therapeutic
for me in some way, and I thinkthat's kind of because of this
current era that I'm in withlike self-love.
So everything I do I'm tryingto be very intentional about,
like this is filling up my cup,or this is putting energy
forward for my family or, youknow, my business.
(30:36):
I try to be very intentionalabout it.
But music, honestly, music isso therapeutic and like car
karaoke, I tell you what.
You crank that up, you rolldown them windows, yes, roll
them down, get on the freewayand just car karaoke.
To that, I tell you, you wantto.
(30:56):
I know gas is expensive, I meanyou're in.
California.
Yeah, I know, I didn't say inNevada gas is expensive, but it
is worth it.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Even if you're just driving in a loop is worth it
well, if you think about it, atherapy session is like 200
dollars a session you're notgoing to spend 200 on gas.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I mean, shoot, get a red bull or a starbucks, go for
a drive and then get some mickeyd french fries on the way home
or a dairy queen blizzard, andthat's still cheaper than like a
paying for a therapy sessionand you got some.
Got to go outside in the sun,you got to work on your throat
chakra a little bit, you got tohear a vibe that you really like
and get out, whether it's anger, sadness, whatever feeling.
I mean I could be feeling so sadand listen to such a happy song
(31:39):
and then just like scream atthe top of my lungs and like
feel better, or the opposite,like it's, it's wild.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
So music was huge yes , and it's a scientific research
about the music and how wecorrelate to it, because you're
engaging in all your senses withmusic.
But also, do you ever didtherapy?
And, by the way, this is notdiscouraging people to go to
therapy.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I very much support going to therapy or finding a
coach because I very muchbelieve so.
I had a hard experience withtherapy.
So I went to therapy when I wasyounger, did not have a good
experience Therapy back in thelate 90s, early, no, so that.
So that's my first experiencewith therapy, which pretty much
tore me off of therapy the restof my life until there was a
(32:29):
point to where I had to go totherapy.
Right, so I did.
I loved my therapist.
She was great, um, but thenthere was a point to where I
felt like I wasn't getting thehelp I needed and I didn't know
how to vocalize that to herbecause I was very worried about
hurting her feelings and thenmy sessions almost ended up
seeming like a waste of time.
So if you are going to therapyor you have a coach and you feel
(32:52):
that stagnant type of a thing,I understand that feeling and
it's very, very hard to vocalizeit.
But please spare yourself thetime, the energy, the
frustration and the money at theend of it to vocalize that and
say it.
You don't have to come out andbe like, you know, a crazy, hey,
you're not helping me andyou're a terrible therapist or
(33:12):
whatever, like hey, this is howI'm feeling, right?
We're supposed to be talkingabout feelings, right?
So hey, this is how I'm feeling,and lately I feel like I'm just
having a hard time getting thetools that I need to move
forward, because I'm stillstruggling with the same things
in my tool house, like my toolbelt has not gotten an upgrade
and it needs an upgrade, so canyou help me upgrade that, or can
(33:34):
you help point me in adirection of someone that can
help me upgrade that, becausethere's so many different types
of therapies yeah, like so manydifferent kinds.
So maybe that just one therapyor therapist or type of therapy
isn't what you need right now,and it's okay to experiment with
it, like I talked about earlier, and to go through stages of
right now I need therapy NowI've worked through that and
(33:55):
right now I need a coach to helppush me forward.
Like my tool house is awesome,but now I need a guide to help
push me forward with my tools,type of like a thing with my
tools type of like a thing I Ialways recommend when you go to
therapy.
Therapy is not forever, by theway.
I know it is not for everybody.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I would love that because I'm a therapist.
But no, therapy is not foreverand there is different flavors
of therapy, like in video games,different levels, because you
have different monsters toattack, right?
Yes, so if you go to therapyand you feel stagnant, just ask
your therapist what is your plan?
Because we all, as therapists,we create a plan, right Like a
(34:34):
map of where we want to take youor where you need to be to free
you, really kind of thing.
And if you are feeling stuck oryou feel like that connection
is not there anymore, thattherapeutic connection, it's
okay to say peace out.
As therapists, we are human, butwe don't get our feelings hurt
(34:54):
because we're supposed to beblank slates, right?
For example, I work with activeduty and first responders and
chronically ill and we alwaysmake the joke that we're like I
like sad things, and becausethey're like you should enjoy
this too much and because theywere like I have one in
particular that I love, it waswhy you changed the trajectory
(35:16):
of my therapy.
I used to do only kids andteens, and why not?
And this particular set ofclients?
They were like whatever we toldyou, as dark as it is, we don't
worry that you cannot take itKind of like we were saying we
don't worry that we're going tohurt your feelings, and that
kind of peace that it gives aperson that somebody else can
(35:37):
hold.
That heavy lift, yes, is whatyou need Now when we talk about
coaches.
Coaches are your cheerleadersfor one objective only, meaning
I want to lose weight, I want toeat healthier, I want to set a
goal to sell this many things orI want to get this many
followers.
That is what a coach does.
(35:58):
It's hard when a coach startstalking about like, oh, let's
heal your inner child, and stufflike that, if you haven't gone
first to therapy because theycan open wounds, that they are
too big.
And so I'm not saying that youcannot go to neither.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
What I'm saying is sometimes we need both because,
yeah, sometimes you can use themtogether to move forward and
that you might end up getting toa certain stage where you're
like, okay, I'm done with thistype of therapy and can change
therapies or change type ofcoaches, or like I've really
been looking into traumacoaching lately, right, but yeah
, there's so many differentthings out there and it is okay
(36:34):
to experiment, it is okay to doyour research, it is okay to
call and ask and do thequestions.
Right, because ultimately andyou being a therapist, I'm
looking at you for your grantsand to see if my assumption is
right on this but you at the end, just want everybody to get the
help that they need, whetherthat is with you or not, and if
you cannot provide the services,the resources that that person
(36:58):
is looking for, you are not justgoing to be like, yeah, come
here, we'll figure it out.
You'll be like, hey, I mightnot be the the one, but I know
these lists of people and I canhelp point you in that direction
.
Right, like it is okay to askthe questions instead of just
well, sounds all right, let'sgive it a go, right, and and
then end up leaving likepotential bad taste in your
mouth or therapy when it justwasn't that type or that person,
(37:21):
right, that wasn't your flavorto help you move forward, right?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Right.
And again, tying it to videogames.
It's like not all video gamesare made for everybody.
No, you know, like you have thecozy ones, you have the gory
ones, you have the action ones.
The same with card games orwhatever game that you play.
You try and you're like this isnot for me, but you try.
(37:46):
And now you know One thing mynugget for everybody is therapy
or coaching can only feeluncomfortable, but not painful.
Yes, if it feels painful, thenit's a bad sign.
Also, just because we'retherapists, we are not gods no
at all and everything else Right.
So if you find that too, likeyou know, and if you are with a
(38:09):
coach also, another thing that Iput as a red flag and I train
coaches in trauma-informed andethics is if they're selling you
things when you're in the thickof the like.
You know you're like in thatthick and say, oh, by the way, I
have this other course that youcan do.
I'm like no, no.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Ground for the hill E-break.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
E-break.
But we say all this because,yes, sometimes we don't have the
money or the resources to go totherapy or even for a coach.
So we have music, we havecommunities.
I think the thing that saveslives more than anything is
community, and it's somethingthat we have lost in this
country.
For people that is hearing usoutside of the United States, we
(38:53):
have lost being in community,and we are human beings and we
were meant to be in circles ofcommunity, because when one
falls, we all fall.
So what will be your threenuggets and red flags for
anybody that is hearing us aboutmental health and how to take
care of themselves?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Well to touch on the additional things other than
just music and community thatcan help save.
I believe movement is the bestmedicine.
So, whether it is yoga, takinga walk, stretching, working out
out I work out in the garageevery single morning.
Uh, lately I've been taking thedogs on walks, we've been
(39:33):
trying to lap them around, justtrying to get outside more, get
some extra steps in before thesnow comes.
But, um, I truly believemovement is the best medicine.
I can tell I was a certifiedpersonal trainer.
I lost I gained 100 pounds whenI had my son I.
I have since lost it all.
Before that I had anotherweight loss transformation type
of a thing.
I gained a ton of weight afterhigh school.
I've been all over the list, butfitness has always been a
(39:54):
mental safe place for me,whether it was in a gym or just
working out at home.
I was a beach body coach, likeyears ago, coincidentally before
the big C word hit in 2020 andall the things shut down and all
that Coincidentally, butanyways, movement, any type of
movement, just move your bodyand listen to your body, and
(40:16):
it's hard to listen to ourselveswhen we don't want to listen to
ourselves and when we don'tallow ourselves to see ourselves
, so it's hard to know what wewant.
But I truly believe movement isthe best medicine.
And journaling and a lot ofpeople I know that just just
journal it out, just journal itout, like.
And then people get a pad andpaper and a pencil and you're
like okay, now, what Right?
(40:37):
What do I write?
Do I write a prompt?
Am I writing what the color myshoes are Like?
Speaker 3 (40:41):
what the sun's like Right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Yeah, like what I was thinking about 20 minutes ago,
what I was thinking about 20minutes ago, what I'm going to
have for dinner like what am Idoing?
Speaker 3 (40:49):
I'm so glad that you brought the journaling because
in fact in this episode I put afree journal, but I call it
beginner journal because it hasall kinds of journaling it has
color journaling, it has promptjournaling, it has emotion
journaling because, as you say,journaling is not just writing
the color of your shoes.
It can start there.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
It can start there.
There's nothing wrong withstarting there If you're like I
just need to get, because thatis the really hard thing for me
sometimes is feeling veryblocked, like mental block, like
pen to paper.
I have all these ideas and thenpen to paper and it just stops
and it's like I just need tostart going.
So I will literally startwriting.
This morning my coffee wasreally good and I'm not going to
write negative, poopy things.
(41:31):
I'm going to write positivethings, to invoke the positivity
that I am trying to continuegrowing.
So I, if anything that's, I'mgoing to.
My coffee was really good.
The birds didn't make me angrythis morning.
They were really peaceful.
Instead, you, you know,sometimes when they start
squawking some, you know, somemornings like oh, it's so nice,
and other mornings like do youmind?
Right, you had three too manycups of coffee shush, like right
(41:52):
, we're done, right, so juststarting somewhere and putting
pen to paper.
There's plenty of journalprompts, um, whether it be
online or linked um in thedescription.
And then I actually did designa journal.
It's a guided journal, a dailyjournal called the Promise of
Purpose.
There there's like a dailyaffirmation and just guided and
it's it's little, it's quick.
(42:13):
This whole thing is literallylike if your brain is going, by
the time you've answered justthese things and you feel like
you got some stuff on your chestyou just want to write out and
put in the universe.
Or you want to manifest, or youhave emotions yeah, you need to
get off your chest.
Or you have an idea that youdon't want to lose, or something
is just on your heart and youjust feel like you need to put
it on paper.
(42:33):
That's what that big emptything's for.
Um, it's on amazon.
We can link it below too, yes,but there are so many things out
there to help guide you throughthat journaling process until
you can, because it's okay toexperiment with it right, right
and see what you like and whatyou don't.
So, now, like, let's say, theone that's linked below.
You like a piece of the prompt?
And then something that's inthis one you like.
And then you saw something onTikTok that you like too.
(42:54):
Right, okay, get a blankjournal.
Like I have a stationaryproblem.
I tell you what.
Yeah, yep, we get a blank one.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
We get a blank one.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
We throw some cute stickers on it or whatever.
If it's not already cute on theoutside, got it.
And then you take the pieces ofthe things and you make your
own journal routine or whateverit may be Same with like working
out or even like creating amorning routine, because
sometimes having structure hashelped.
Yep, sometimes having structurehas helped me when I am
(43:25):
mentally not in a good placeeither, knowing that I need to
show up for myself and do thethings to take care of myself,
because right now my braindoesn't want to give myself love
and I'm being mean to myself.
But I know that I have mynormal morning routine that I
have created over time, overyears, that I still change all
the time, like it is not alocked in solid in stone, like
(43:45):
it is okay to be flexible.
The biggest thing withconsistency is adaptability.
That's really what consistencyis?
It's just being able to adaptand still do the things that you
need to do.
Be able to consistently show upfor yourself and love yourself,
which is very, very hard.
Being able to adapt to how yourbrain is chemically going or
your life is going at that pointin time, and still show up for
(44:08):
yourself and to do the corethings to make sure that you are
still prioritizing yourself andfilling your cup up.
So the morning routinePersonally, I wake up and work
out.
Sometimes I try to journal andthen I have like my tarot cards.
I try to do it.
You know I get like my inner,my innerness, okay.
You know I get like my inner,my innerness, okay.
But when I am really struggling, I will turn to the most basic
(44:31):
morning type of a routine for meto make sure that I am checking
the boxes for myself, because Idon't.
I know I'm going to feel somuch worse later in the day and
then I'm going to be mad atmyself even more for not just
doing the things in the morningbecause I was awake anyways in
my head being mean to myself,like it's just a revolving door,
you know how it's the Ferriswheel, right.
(44:53):
So movement journaling, figuringout little things like that,
whether it's throughout your dayor in a big routine, to give
yourself a little bit of love,to fill up your cup.
Just a little bit For me.
If you guys end up following meon socials, you'll see I
randomly go find tractors in thedesert or on a construction day
.
They make me happy and I feellike a crazy person off the side
(45:17):
of the road on the dirt to gorun and take a picture like a.
TikTok in front of a tractor.
I really really do and there'llbe busy roads, it'll be outside
the freeway Like just keep cars, no-transcript, and whatever,
(45:56):
whatever, like that is notreality for everybody.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
And that is not self-care, that's consumerism.
We have a we have an episodeactually talking about that.
By the way, PSA, One lesson toit, because self-care is not
that.
In fact, self-care has aWesternized and consumerized
that totally lost what it was.
But to wrap it up, Brooke, I'mso honored to be in your
(46:26):
presence because you're such aninspiration to each and one of
us and for everybody that'slistening.
Remember you are not alone,Even in the darkest days that
you feel you are.
There is communities, there issupport.
You can text to 741-741.
You can call 988 if it's really, really bad.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
And I believe you can also text 9882.
You can text 988.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
And we're going to put in Brooke's webpage and in
my page.
You have a plethora of warmlines.
What is a warm line?
It's a line that you call whenyou're like not doing well, but
you are not so in this otherspectrum that you need emergency
care.
This one is just I'm having ahard day, I need to talk to
somebody today, and that is foranybody that is struggling with
(47:12):
body image, with mental image,with emotions, and also for
people that have gone through alot.
So, if you are hearing us,please go check those websites,
put it in your phone.
In fact, if you're hearing meright now and you're seeing me,
please grab your phone and justtext 741741.
Put that face and see what itpops back, because that way,
(47:34):
don't worry, they don't continueasking you.
They ask you if they want totalk to us and you say no, thank
you.
They don't send the police toyou, they don't send emergency.
It's just I want you to havethat phone number and that text
line because it saves lives,truly, truly saves lives, kind
of like the Twitch communitysaved Brooke's life and it has
saved many, many other lives.
(47:54):
So today, ask everybody, go tothe website and sign up for the
Pinky Promise.
And for now, please raise yourlittle pinky and let's make a
promise for every sunset andevery sunrise.
Thank you, brooke, I appreciateyou, I love you, I appreciate
you, I love you and until nexttime.
Bye everybody.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Let me just pause it as we conclude today's episode.
Take a moment to reflect.
Be proud of the journey, forevery step that brings you
closer to who you truly are.
Embrace the kindness towardsyourself as you did to each one
of our guests.
Honor the bravery in youractions and celebrate the
(48:43):
importance of mental wellnesswith us.
And remember it's an exercisethat we practice daily.
Continue to grow and flourish,knowing that we are in this
training for our mental wellnesstogether.
We are so proud to have you aspart of our community, so join
(49:04):
us on Instagram at our OasisCommunity Podcast for more
inspiring conversations,valuable resources and supported
content, including journals,worksheets and content in
Spanish.
Exciting things are in thehorizon.
Our Oasis Community break roomsare coming soon to grab tools
(49:26):
and take a break for your mentalhealth.
Also, we are featuring oursix-month training ethical
mental health coaching program,designed for new and experienced
coaches, as well as holisticand healing professionals.
Enroll to create a safe andtransformative experience to
your clients.
Links in the bio.
Until next time, take care,stay connected and welcome to
(49:53):
our Oasis community.
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