February 11, 2025 • 30 mins
Can a powerful group of women change the political landscape of a nation? In this episode, I explore how Black women have consistently been at the forefront of political activism in the United States. With the startling statistic of 92% of Black women supporting Doug Jones in Alabama, I delve into the critical role they play in pushing back against alarming executive actions. As part of our discussion, I bring to light the importance of resilience and solidarity, reminding us of the collective strength needed to navigate these tumultuous times.
Personal well-being and community building take center stage as I unpack the emotional and physical toll of activism on Black women. History shows us that while Black women lead social justice movements, they often do so without sufficient support. I share cautionary tales, like that of Eric Garner's daughter, to highlight the dire need for self-care and community-centric efforts. As social services dwindle, mutual aid becomes a lifeline, and I emphasize the necessity of balancing activism with nurturing our own health and well-being.
I recount my own journey towards a healthier lifestyle, highlighting key areas like physical health, relationship-building, financial stability, and mental well-being. Through personal stories, I encourage listeners to embrace change, manage stress, and focus on self-growth. This episode is not just a call for empowerment but a guide to readiness, arming listeners, especially Black women, with the tools to face future challenges.
LINKS & THINGS...
📚MY BOOK📚
Grace, Actually: Faith, Love, Loss & Black Womanhood
💌SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER! 💌
https://www.outheretrynasurvive.com/newslettersignup
📧 BUSINESS INQUIRIES📧
💐SUBSCRIBE TO MY PODCAST INNER CIRCLE
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/supporters/new
💻MY BLOG💻
🔗 https://outheretrynasurvive.com
⚡️CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL⚡️
📲INSTAGRAM -https://www.instagram.com/grace_sandra_
📲TIK-TOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@OutHereTrynaSurvive
📲FACEBOOK -https://www.facebook.com/gracesandrawrites
📲TWITTER - https://mobile.twitter.com/Grace_Sandra_
🖇AFFILIATE INFO🖇
Affiliate Links included. I only recommend products & services I use myself & love. Using affiliate links helps me & is no extra cost to you.
🎗SUPPORT🎗
💐Support here: https://www.patreon.com/GraceSandra
🎶MUSIC🎶
All music & permissions provided by: Epidemic Sound.
🔗 https://www.epidemicsound.com/referral/vm2l9
🙏🏾Thank you for watching + liking + commenting + sharing!
🤎🤎🤎Love you, OHTS Fam! 🤎🤎🤎
❤️🩹,
Grace
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
what in the actual fuck is happening here in this,
here, united States of America,like what is going on?
Hey, girl, hey.
So today's a little bit of adifferent episode.
I'm deviating from my usualplan.
I'm sitting here, I got mysweatpants on you can't see on
YouTube but my legs are up.
I've got my warm cup of hot teawith honey because I'm having
(00:24):
throat issues, so I might besucking on a cough drop
throughout this episode a littlebit.
But I had planned for aValentine's Day episode for the
first time in my life y'all.
I had planned ahead enough.
Okay, I never plan ahead.
I'm trying to be more diligentand responsible and consistent
with this podcast.
I planned ahead enough to evenplan that I was going to have on
(00:44):
a little heart sweater, whichI'm showing y'all on YouTube if
you're watching, and my littlered pop socket filter for
Valentine's Day, because thisepisode today is February the
4th.
Today is Tuesday, february 4th,but this episode is going out
next week.
So happy Valentine's Day weeky'all.
And I wanted to do a specialValentine's Day episode, but I
felt like, in light of thecurrent events, like that's just
(01:05):
really not the tip I'm on.
So this is just like a littlebit of a deviation, just to talk
about what in the world shouldwe do or not do about this
current regime.
Let's just call it a regime.
And on top of all that y'all, Iain't got nothing to talk about
for Valentine's Day.
(01:26):
I am single as a MF and Pringle.
I am by choice.
I have no roster, not a singleroster, not nothing.
The list is empty.
And I'm smiling because I'mreally, really.
It's just a good feeling tofeel at peace with an empty
roster by choice.
(01:46):
So I'm not going out onValentine's Day.
I don't have plans.
Ain't nobody taking me nowhereby choice?
I definitely could choose oneor two or three or four if I
wanted to pick one to take meout somewhere, but I would
rather, honestly, be by myself.
And, and actually Valentine'sDay falls on Friday, which is
the day I always have pizzamovie night with my kids.
(02:07):
So I'm going to do that forValentine's Day.
And we're all single.
My sons had girlfriends and nowthey don't, and so we will all
just be together on Valentine'sDay.
Single is Pringles together andit's a glorious thing.
But anyway, y'all, let me justintroduce you to the podcast If
you're new.
This is a hope orientedstorytelling space.
(02:28):
A warm hug of solidarity fromme to you and an encouragement
and in celebration of ourresilience and our desire to not
just survive but to thrive aswell.
I am Grace Sandra.
I'm an author and activist, amom and just a woman who's very
deeply interested in Black womensurviving, and this
administration has me a littlebit scurred.
(02:50):
So let's talk about it.
Welcome to episode Y'all.
Where to even start?
There's so much going on, as weall know.
The president has made so manyexecutive orders.
A flurry of executive going on.
As we all know.
The president has made so manyexecutive orders, a flurry of
executive orders in the last.
You know what has it even been?
Has it even been 10 days, 19 to30?
(03:13):
Less than two weeks.
It's been less than two weeksin the amount of damage that
he's caused, the amount ofdivision that he's caused, not
just him, him and all hiscronies, including the man who
bought him the presidency, hislittle bitch, ilanazi.
We just gonna call her Ilanazibecause that is what she did on
(03:34):
inauguration day with the thing,which I'm not gonna do, but
y'all get it.
It's just been a crush of onedetrimental thing after another
that not only did Black womenprepare everyone, for we planned
for it.
There are several organizationsthat literally formed
themselves up within just daysto mobilize around Kamala, and
(03:57):
now we are called the 92%.
The phrase 92% refers to thepercentage of Black women who
voted for Doug Jones in the 2017special election for US Senate
in Alabama and has since becomea symbol of Black women's
political power and activism andis often used to celebrate
their role in social andpolitical change.
It talks about how there'st-shirts and merch now, how
(04:20):
social media campaigns are usingthe hashtag and Black women
activists are organizing aroundthe idea of 92%.
All I know is that Black womencame out in droves to vote
against this maniac.
Because we knew.
Because we knew and it is notentirely, completely surprising
(04:42):
what's happened, even though itfeels like oh my God, like, wow,
our democracy is crumbling.
This is surprising, but at thesame time, it's like he
literally told us he was goingto do all this stuff.
We literally had the Project 25playbook.
We literally had it.
Everyone could look at it.
And why would we believe afelon who says, yeah, I'm not
about the Project 2025 thing?
(05:02):
Why would we believe him?
Black women didn't.
I don't think there was anyblack women who were like oh
yeah, yeah, he says he's notgoing to do Project 2025.
And I believe him.
The only one who did, we allknow, is Candace Owens, who is
the.
You know, I'm not gonna say,I'm not gonna say what she is,
but we all know what she is.
(05:23):
But anyway, I think it's safeto say none of us here respect
her opinion, we'll just leave itat that, okay.
So yesterday my friend postedsomething that I hadn't seen
before Our acting Undersecretaryof State for Public Diplomacy,
darren Beattie.
In October.
He tweeted competent white menmust be in charge if you want
things to work.
Unfortunately, our entirenational ideology is predicated
(05:47):
on coddling the feelings ofwomen and minorities and
demoralizing competent white men.
And I saw a different friendwho, like, reposted that and she
just she's a white woman andshe was just kind of like in
shock and awe and just, oh myGod, I can't believe he said
that and I can't believe that hewas still hired, and I can't
believe and I can't, god, Ican't believe he said that and I
can't believe that he was stillhired, and I can't believe and
I can't believe and I can'tbelieve, and I was just thinking
(06:08):
like the idea that men thinkthat white men think they're
being demoralized, the idea thatwhite men think that they are
the only ones competent andcapable of doing anything.
It's not a new idea to me.
It's not a new idea to, I'msure, a lot of you.
(06:30):
I knew at a very young age Imean I'm talking five, six,
seven that little white boysthought that they were better
than the girls.
And I knew that little whitegirls felt like they were better
than the black people Because Igrew up in going to white with
(06:51):
a white family, going to whitechurches, white schools and
living in a black neighborhoodand participating with some of
my black family members sometime.
So I had a foot in both worldsand it was very obvious to me
from a very young age thatlittle white boys were being
socialized, that they werebetter humans and more competent
humans.
I think it's just somethingthat all black people know.
(07:13):
I mean, tell me if I'm wrong,but like all black people know,
when you're raised in Americathat everybody else thinks
they're better than you.
So for them to say it out loud,they're saying they're saying
it out loud now and ever sinceTrump got elected he's, he's
doing it all of it so out loud.
You know it was kind of kind ofa little bit in the subtext of.
(07:33):
You know when he was running inyour face.
You know when he blamed the DCcrash recently on DEI.
Now that it's being said, Ithink a lot of white women are
(07:56):
ruffling their feathers andmaybe even, maybe even some
black folks.
I don't know, I'm not speakingfor everybody, but I know for me
, as a black woman raised inAmerica, this is what they've
always believed.
There is no moment in the lastsince I've been alive in the mid
70s, where the white collectivewas not like.
(08:20):
You know what.
We're going to be repentant,aware of how, what we have done
in this country and theramifications and, and even now,
the fact that we don't believethat black people are good
enough to do the jobs that wehold.
There hasn't been any of thatthere's, there's another.
There's never been anythingthat's actually been like a true
(08:43):
showing of reconciliation inany meaningful way that would
lead towards any sort ofmeaningful change behavior or
mindsets or collective thinking.
So here we are, here we are, andthe question is number one how
is it going to affect us?
All of this is going to affectus in major ways.
(09:05):
I pulled up.
I just did a quick search.
What are some of the ways thatthe new regime is going to
basically affect Black women?
And it brought up five thingsthat are true.
Changes to reproductive healthand rights.
You know, knowing we alreadyhave disproportionately high
rates of maternal mortality,these restrictions are going to
(09:26):
further limit access tolife-saving care, but the ripple
effects of state-levelabortions and the bans are going
to be stark.
The second one was thediversity, equity and inclusion
dei shifts.
So, as we know, on the firstday back he vowed to undo the
progress of dei, which is youknow what?
(09:47):
It's ridiculous.
I don't even have any wordsbeyond.
It's just fucking ridiculous.
But anyway, for black women, weoften already experienced, like
all these barriers in theworkplace, as double minorities,
as both women and black women.
But this is going to lead toless pathways to get to the top,
basically, and will leave Blackwomen more vulnerable to
(10:09):
discrimination and with fewerinstitutional mechanisms for
recourse.
Say something.
The next one is updated tariffpolicies.
Entrepreneurship has offered arealistic path for Black women
to achieve financialindependence.
Basically 61%, according to asurvey by Goldman Sachs in 2024,
(10:29):
61% of black women viewentrepreneurship as a necessary
pathway to creation excuse me towealth creation anyway.
The tariff policies, especiallyon imported goods, could
negatively affect industrieswhere black women are
prominently represented can Ieven talk represented including
beauty, retail and health care.
These policies and limitedaccess to capital, which has
(10:51):
been an ongoing challenge forBlack women entrepreneurs, could
destabilize the sustainabilityof their businesses.
And then, finally, healthcareaccess and chronic health
disparities.
So the administration is tryingto cut back on the Affordable
Care Act and reduce Medicaidfunding.
Black women disproportionatelysuffer from chronic conditions
like hypertension, diabetes andfibroids, conditions that are
(11:15):
significantly worsened by nothaving access to quality health
care, something we alreadystruggle with.
But with the things that theadministration is trying to do,
many Black women are going toface the prospect of losing
critical health care access, andfor those in undeserved
communities, these policiescreate additional hurdles.
And then, finally, civil rightslimitations.
The scrolling back of theDepartment of Justice's civil
(11:38):
rights oversight has raisedconcerns among advocacy groups.
So there's going to be weakenedenforcement of
anti-discrimination laws inhousing, education and
employment, which willdisproportionately impact Black
women, who often faceintersecting forms of bias.
The regression of theseprotections could heighten
systematic challenges, leavingBlack women more vulnerable to
exploitation and discrimination.
(12:00):
By the way, I'll put a link forthis article.
This is by Forbes, called FivePolicy Changes Under Trump that
Will Impact Black Women.
I mean, we don't even reallyneed that list to know.
Shit's about to be real fuckedup.
Let me just take a drink of mytea.
Oh, I put way too much honey init.
That is so hot.
(12:20):
I meant sweet, so sweet.
So what are we going to do andwhat are we supposed to do?
I have heard that the 92% issaying we ain't doing shit.
We about to sit back and lety'all deal with it, because the
thing is, there is enough whitepeople in this country.
There is enough white women inthis country.
There's enough people who votedfor Trump.
53% of white women voted forTrump.
(12:41):
There is enough of them who canprotect this country from
completely falling apart andcrumbling without us.
So what does all this mean forblack women and what we should
do?
Moving forward, I have seeneverywhere the 92% is taking a
rest.
We just go sit back and chill,because this is some absolute
fuckery and we have been on thefront lines and put our bodies
(13:04):
on the front lines way too manytimes, only to find out that no
one is behind us.
Who is thinking about us, whois supporting us, who is there
for us, who?
I think this is a great time,like I've seen so many other
Black women say this is not myidea.
This is a great time for us totruly prioritize our own lives,
(13:27):
our own self-care, and to foundand support movements that are
rooted in our own success andmeeting our own needs and
meeting needs for one another,because y'all buckle up, it's
going to get crazy.
I've just seen so many Blackwomen say it's really time to
focus on ourselves and ourcommunity and that's been, you
(13:48):
know, challenging for me,because there's a part of me is
someone who's always consideredmyself to be an activist and an
advocate.
Like I said, there's a part ofme that's like no, well, I can't
, I can't step down.
Like I don't want to step down.
I want to still be sharing, Iwant to still have a voice, I
want to still go to protests.
You know, I want to still teachmy Black daughter that, like we
can be part of the fight, wecan be part of the.
(14:10):
You know the resistance, theresistance, resistance.
You know what I mean that wecan do something.
And, at the same time, it's avery confusing time to be a
Black woman because, while thatis still the core of who I am,
it makes a lot of sense to methat if we don't directly pour
(14:32):
into ourselves, we will not bethere to lead any exchange, any
protest, any fight.
If y'all recall, eric Garner'sdaughter died not too long after
him.
Fighting and fighting, andfighting.
And she was young.
She was young when she died andshe died from preventable
(14:54):
health conditions.
And a lot of that, I believe,is because she was putting her
life and her body on the frontline to fight for justice for
her dad, and I think that shedid a noble thing and a
beautiful thing and shesacrificed herself and, at the
same time, if she had focused onherself and her own self care
and her physical and bodilyhealth, she could be around for
(15:14):
a lot longer.
Because, as we know, this isnot absolutely not a sprint.
This is a marathon.
We are gearing up for amarathon, especially for those
of us who have kids.
Like, it's crazy to me to thinkabout sending my kids out into
this world.
My kids are eight and a half,15 and 19, so they're, all you
(15:35):
know, in these next five to tenyears, going to be pushed out
into this world that we'vecreated for them, and I cannot
think about running myself intothe ground in the next four
years of Trump's pregnant I keepsaying pregnancy on accident of
his presidency and not be therefor these children who are
being pushed out into this crazyworld as Americans Like nah.
(15:58):
I have to see this as what canI do today, february, today is
Tuesday, february 4th.
What can I do today to love andcare for myself so that I can
be here for them on, you know,february 4th, 15 years from now,
2025, 2040.
Man, that's weird to thinkabout, but y'all get what I'm
(16:20):
saying.
I literally want you to stopand think about if we're going
to fight this regime, be here,try to love ourselves and love
others.
How can we care for ourselvesso that we're here to do that?
I was just telling my girl theother day.
I was like man, I'm sodiscouraged about everything
that's happening and everythinghe's doing in these executive
orders, and what if we lose thisand what if we lose that?
(16:42):
And how are people going tomanage without food stamps?
And I was just getting caughtup in it and I was like it made
me not want to do anything.
I just had this epiphany.
I told her I was just thinkingabout like how, you know, mutual
aid is going to become soimportant as social services are
dialed back and just supportand people being actual in an
(17:03):
actual community is going toreally matter now more than ever
.
And I was just thinking like, Ilove giving.
I've always loved givingfinancially.
I've always been someone whohas given financially.
It's just a part of who I am.
If someone asked me for moneyand I have it and I want to give
it to you, I'm going to give itto you.
You never have to pay me back.
Nobody owes me any moneybecause I never tell anybody
(17:23):
they got to pay me back.
That's just how I live and Ihave been.
I have experienced the karma ofthat in the good way, where
when I've needed money, peoplehave given me money and never
made me pay them back.
I just love giving.
I love giving a mutual aid.
And I thought the other day likegirl, if you don't get your
shit together and get out of bedand get over the hump of your
(17:45):
sadness and how incapacitatedyou feel at what's happening in
the world, how can you ever haveenough money to give to anybody
, to any mutual aid if you ain'tgot no money for yourself.
I literally wrote it out on asheet of paper like how?
Because I was finding myselffeeling so stressed about how I
could just focus on me, how Icould just be part of the 92%
(18:05):
who's like, man, fuck y'all, I'mjust focusing on myself.
And I had a very strong case oflike survivor's guilt hit me.
It was really weird.
So I was like, let me journalthis out.
Y'all not believe injournalists.
I was like, let me just try tofigure out.
Like what in the hell?
So I stopped and wrote down whatdoes it benefit anyone else for
(18:27):
you to be broke during thistime?
What does it benefit anyoneelse for you to be broke during
this time?
What does it benefit anyoneelse for you to sit around and
feel sorry for yourself?
That's not self-care.
What does it benefit anyoneelse at this time if you are not
mentally stable?
What does it benefit yourchildren if you can't mentally
like pull yourself together,because this is all so
overwhelming?
And you know that did it.
(18:47):
It snapped me out of it becauseI was like, oh shit, it don't
benefit nothing, no one, not.
Hold on, let me take anotherdrink.
I just want you to considerwhat you can do to focus on
yourself, and not just to focuson yourself, but to really build
.
And yes, I'm talking about moneyin part money, because we are
going to need it for ourselvesand for each other.
(19:08):
And for me, really thinkingabout and focusing on money
exclusively is just somethingthat it causes a little bit of
like.
I don't know, I guess I havemoney blocks, but that day that
was yesterday or the day beforewhen I sat down and write out
what does it benefit me to bebroke, that really helped me.
I was like, okay, let me setthese money blocks aside,
(19:30):
because there were times in thepast where we have had to build
our own churches, our ownschools, our own whatever, and
that required money and whateverour ancestors did back in the
day to acquire the funds tobuild up whole cities from the
bottom with nothing, barely anyeducation.
I'm just that's, that's wherewe're from, that's the kind of
(19:52):
resilience that we're from andin this day and age, with all of
these options and all of thesethings we can do, even though
we're exhausted and it's hard, Ithink there has to be some
focusing on how can we build?
How can we build.
How can we get more?
Not so we can be selfish andhave Chanel bags and not that
that's selfish in and of itselfbut not so that we can focus on
(20:13):
random little luxuries thatreally, honestly, don't matter
at the end of the day, butbecause of the fact that we know
that part of our actualresistance is caring for
ourselves, and we know we livein a climate, in a society,
where it costs money to care foryourself.
It costs way more to buy abanana at the grocery store than
(20:33):
like a big box of chocolate,cheap ass marshmallow bars that
are killing us.
The banana, the single banana,costs more than the box of these
chocolate bars.
Y'all know the ones I'm talkingabout.
They have all the sprinkles andthey're really good, but
they're so, so horrible for you.
I want to encourage you, asblack women, to think about all
(20:55):
the areas that matter to you.
What are the top three or fouror five areas that matter the
most to your well-being, andfocus on that.
And when I tell you, I havebeen writing it down, I've been
scripting every day and what I'mscripting is those areas I
first deal with, like my mentalhealth.
What are the top things thatneed to happen, that I need to
manifest so that my mentalhealth is at, so that it's
(21:18):
healthy.
Okay, from there I move on tomoney.
What is the what is the exactthings that I need to do?
What's the exact amount I needto make so that I'm in a place
of financial freedom, so that Ican give to mutual aid requests
and take care of myself and takecare of my children and deal
with you know everything I'mgoing through medically with
perimenopause and all of that.
(21:40):
The next thing is dealing withrelationships, and I don't mean
like romantic relationships, Imean all the relationships in my
life, realizing like who'scausing me stress, who's not
causing me stress, who's addingto my life, who's bringing joy,
who is it nice to be around?
What do I need to develop inmyself so that I can be a better
(22:02):
, for example, mother, mother tomy daughter, mother to my sons.
But part of the reason I said,like I said, I have no roster,
nothing, a zero roster.
This is the first time in sucha long time that I have nothing,
nothing and no one on theroster.
First time in such a long timethat I have nothing, nothing and
no one on the roster.
That's in part because I'mreally realizing, like my
(22:23):
girlfriends non-romanticgirlfriends, I'm not gay in any
way, but like my actualgirlfriends, friends who are
girls they bring me so much lifeand so much joy and so much
peace.
They actually care.
Y'all know what I'm trying tosay.
When you have really goodgirlfriends that really know how
to love you well, it can bevery hard, in my opinion, as a
single woman, to find a man whowill love you as well as your
girlfriends do, who will takecare of you the way that they do
(22:45):
, who will be as thoughtful andas kind and considerate and
consistent.
And so, yeah, I just startedremoving everyone on the roster,
no matter what men, at least ifthey weren't bringing me the
kinds of joy and peace and loveand support and encouragement
that my lady friends do really,really reduced stress in such a
(23:13):
major way.
Even just connecting to meninitially in a talking phase can
sometimes bring about a certainamount of stress.
So I'm not out here tellingy'all well, because the election
, you have to stay single.
I'm definitely not saying thatand I definitely don't even
think I will be single forever.
But I do believe that we haveto look at where we're at
(23:33):
personally and where I was atpersonally is like I don't want
anyone in my life at all whobrings any modicum of stress
outside of just being a parent,because being a parent in and of
itself can be stressful, asy'all know, and so that is
something that I am going to do,no matter what.
So if I feel any sort of stressin any relationships, it's
going to be the mother daughterstress Okay, the mother son
(23:56):
stress, not some random manstress.
And then the final thing on thatlist that you should be
thinking about and prioritizingis your physical health.
What are you doing to get yourheart thumping a couple times a
week?
Are you strength training?
Are you going for walks?
Are you doing things that carefor your body?
Are you thinking about what doI need to eat so that my body is
(24:17):
healthy?
These are basic things, y'all,but I'm telling y'all, once I
started January, for me it waslike really January in general,
because I had been ramping up toa lot of these changes.
But once I started January aftermy birthday because my birthday
is December 30.
And I turned 48 December 30.
And I always use my birthday aslike for this next year what do
(24:41):
I want to focus on during my48th year.
So it just happens to coincidewith the new year, but really I
was thinking about my 48th year.
What do I want for my 48th year?
And I had already been rampingup.
I've been on the Galveston dietfor the last six months.
I'd already been ramping upwith doing walks and weights and
trying to be more active, andthen in January I joined a gym.
(25:01):
I had already been doing littlethings you know, just to pursue
health in different ways, tosleep better, so I got some
mouth sleep tape, which actuallyhas helped me sleep better.
By the way, I was already doingsome things.
I had just recently gotdiagnosed officially with ADHD
and so I got some L-theanine.
And I'm just giving you alllittle examples, like it's just
constantly on my mind.
Is it on your mind?
(25:22):
These big areas what am I doingto keep my body healthy?
What am I eating?
How am I keeping it healthyphysically?
Relationships what am I doingso that I'm surrounding myself
with positive, happy,peace-filled relationships?
Money what am I doing so I canmake more money and give more
money and save more money andinvest more money?
And then mental health what arewe doing to care for our mental
(25:44):
health, to be sure that it's ina good place.
These, literally, could beapplied at any time, but it just
feels like right now they'remore important.
So when I tell you, I'm focusingon that every single day, I'm
focusing on those things everysingle day, trying to set myself
up so that, when all of thesethings have more and more
unbearable ramifications formore and more people around us,
(26:07):
I can actually be strong andhealthy and mentally prepared
and financially prepared toactually do what I feel called
to do when I'm ready to do it.
The absolute worst thing for mewould be to do when I'm ready
to do it.
The absolute worst thing for mewould be to want to help or
want to do something and justhave my hands tied, which has
happened to me so many timesbefore.
It's such a sad feeling.
This is just my littleencouragement to you to, yes,
(26:28):
rest.
Yes, take care of yourself.
Yes, focus on your happiness.
Yes, focus on your body.
Yes, focus on just eatinghealthier.
Yes, focus on taking time tomeditate over doom scrolling.
Yes, focus on how you canpractice mindfulness.
Yes, take time out from theendless news cycle.
(26:50):
You know, I don't know if y'allneed to hear that or not.
If you need permission to hearit, I'm giving you permission
because I'm taking that myself.
I am stopping myself fromlooking at so much stuff,
reading some from so much stuffabout what's happening and
realizing that in this moment Ihave air in my lungs and I can
(27:10):
take a breath and I can findsomething to be grateful for,
and in this moment I know mykids are safe and happy and
healthy.
In this moment there is noreason to feel guilt or shame
about those realities, that weare provided for, that we have a
home, etc.
And in this moment I can bethankful that God has me in a
(27:33):
right state of mind Becausethere could be a moment three
months, six months, a year downthe line where I need to make a
choice, to do something hard andI can make a clear-headed
choice that reflects my valuesand not out of just fear.
I guess I just want you to knowthat if you take a break, if
you take a rest, it does notmean that you're not concerned
about poor people losing fundingor DEI initiatives being
(27:57):
cracked open or Ilanazi havingaccess to our social security
numbers.
There are worrying thingshappening, but I do think that
if we can look and say God hasus, we are going to be okay and
there is no battle that we canfight right in this moment, in
this present moment that we'reworrying, and that helps me.
(28:20):
I try to think about myself-care and my ability to
compartmentalize some of thisstuff in a way, as a way to
prepare me for a day where Imight do something.
I don't know what, but I'm partof the resistance.
So one day I might be calledupon to make a choice.
I don't know what, but I'm partof the resistance.
So one day I might be calledupon to make a choice.
I don't know what that choicecould be.
It could be to cut somebody outor more.
(28:41):
I'm really just talking y'all.
But I do think that it's betterto think about our own lives as
bigger and far beyond him, assomeone who was a narcissistic
abuse survivor and seeing him asthe absolute narcissist who he
is.
I know we shouldn't armchairdiagnose anybody, but if anybody
has narcissistic personalitydisorder, it is Trump and
(29:03):
Elanazi Okay, they both got NPD.
But one thing that I know and Iremember learning from
surviving narcissisticpersonality disorder abuser is
you don't obsess.
You don't obsess over them.
You have to stop obsessing overthem and you have to worry
about you yourself and yourresponse to it.
(29:23):
So this is a prep time.
This is a preparation time forblack women for us to really
fully, fully focus on our ownhealth in every way possible,
because one thing we're notgoing to do is not be ready.
We're going to stay ready.
Okay, we're going to stay ready.
Anyway, thank you for listening.
This episode was a little bitdifferent and a little bit all
(29:45):
over the place, so thank you forbeing here.
If you're not yet, please signup for my newsletter.
I'm going to start sending outa newsletter once a week.
Hopefully.
That way you can keep up todate with everything.
And if you're not, follow me oninstagram at grace underscore
sandra underscore is my personalone and the podcast is the same
name out here trying to survive.
Same name on tiktok out heretrying to survive.
(30:06):
And finally, you might not knowthis, but I'm the author of a
book called grace, actuallymemoirs of love, faith, loss and
black womanhood.
I have it here YouTube.
You can pick this up on Amazonin digital or hard copy.
And if you haven't yet, pleaseleave me a rating and review on
Apple Podcasts.
I'm just new, again trying toget this podcast pushed out into
(30:26):
the world.
I would really, really valueyour honest feedback.
Again, thank you for joining meagain today.
Just remember that you are verystrong, very resilient and very
capable of creating andchoosing a life that you desire
and deserve.
Until next time, keep shining,y'all.
what in the actual fuck is happening here in this,
here, united States of America,like what is going on?
Hey, girl, hey.
So today's a little bit of adifferent episode.
I'm deviating from my usualplan.
I'm sitting here, I got mysweatpants on you can't see on
YouTube but my legs are up.
I've got my warm cup of hot teawith honey because I'm having
(00:24):
throat issues, so I might besucking on a cough drop
throughout this episode a littlebit.
But I had planned for aValentine's Day episode for the
first time in my life y'all.
I had planned ahead enough.
Okay, I never plan ahead.
I'm trying to be more diligentand responsible and consistent
with this podcast.
I planned ahead enough to evenplan that I was going to have on
(00:44):
a little heart sweater, whichI'm showing y'all on YouTube if
you're watching, and my littlered pop socket filter for
Valentine's Day, because thisepisode today is February the
4th.
Today is Tuesday, february 4th,but this episode is going out
next week.
So happy Valentine's Day weeky'all.
And I wanted to do a specialValentine's Day episode, but I
felt like, in light of thecurrent events, like that's just
(01:05):
really not the tip I'm on.
So this is just like a littlebit of a deviation, just to talk
about what in the world shouldwe do or not do about this
current regime.
Let's just call it a regime.
And on top of all that y'all, Iain't got nothing to talk about
for Valentine's Day.
(01:26):
I am single as a MF and Pringle.
I am by choice.
I have no roster, not a singleroster, not nothing.
The list is empty.
And I'm smiling because I'mreally, really.
It's just a good feeling tofeel at peace with an empty
roster by choice.
(01:46):
So I'm not going out onValentine's Day.
I don't have plans.
Ain't nobody taking me nowhereby choice?
I definitely could choose oneor two or three or four if I
wanted to pick one to take meout somewhere, but I would
rather, honestly, be by myself.
And, and actually Valentine'sDay falls on Friday, which is
the day I always have pizzamovie night with my kids.
(02:07):
So I'm going to do that forValentine's Day.
And we're all single.
My sons had girlfriends and nowthey don't, and so we will all
just be together on Valentine'sDay.
Single is Pringles together andit's a glorious thing.
But anyway, y'all, let me justintroduce you to the podcast If
you're new.
This is a hope orientedstorytelling space.
(02:28):
A warm hug of solidarity fromme to you and an encouragement
and in celebration of ourresilience and our desire to not
just survive but to thrive aswell.
I am Grace Sandra.
I'm an author and activist, amom and just a woman who's very
deeply interested in Black womensurviving, and this
administration has me a littlebit scurred.
(02:50):
So let's talk about it.
Welcome to episode Y'all.
Where to even start?
There's so much going on, as weall know.
The president has made so manyexecutive orders.
A flurry of executive going on.
As we all know.
The president has made so manyexecutive orders, a flurry of
executive orders in the last.
You know what has it even been?
Has it even been 10 days, 19 to30?
(03:13):
Less than two weeks.
It's been less than two weeksin the amount of damage that
he's caused, the amount ofdivision that he's caused, not
just him, him and all hiscronies, including the man who
bought him the presidency, hislittle bitch, ilanazi.
We just gonna call her Ilanazibecause that is what she did on
(03:34):
inauguration day with the thing,which I'm not gonna do, but
y'all get it.
It's just been a crush of onedetrimental thing after another
that not only did Black womenprepare everyone, for we planned
for it.
There are several organizationsthat literally formed
themselves up within just daysto mobilize around Kamala, and
(03:57):
now we are called the 92%.
The phrase 92% refers to thepercentage of Black women who
voted for Doug Jones in the 2017special election for US Senate
in Alabama and has since becomea symbol of Black women's
political power and activism andis often used to celebrate
their role in social andpolitical change.
It talks about how there'st-shirts and merch now, how
(04:20):
social media campaigns are usingthe hashtag and Black women
activists are organizing aroundthe idea of 92%.
All I know is that Black womencame out in droves to vote
against this maniac.
Because we knew.
Because we knew and it is notentirely, completely surprising
(04:42):
what's happened, even though itfeels like oh my God, like, wow,
our democracy is crumbling.
This is surprising, but at thesame time, it's like he
literally told us he was goingto do all this stuff.
We literally had the Project 25playbook.
We literally had it.
Everyone could look at it.
And why would we believe afelon who says, yeah, I'm not
about the Project 2025 thing?
(05:02):
Why would we believe him?
Black women didn't.
I don't think there was anyblack women who were like oh
yeah, yeah, he says he's notgoing to do Project 2025.
And I believe him.
The only one who did, we allknow, is Candace Owens, who is
the.
You know, I'm not gonna say,I'm not gonna say what she is,
but we all know what she is.
(05:23):
But anyway, I think it's safeto say none of us here respect
her opinion, we'll just leave itat that, okay.
So yesterday my friend postedsomething that I hadn't seen
before Our acting Undersecretaryof State for Public Diplomacy,
darren Beattie.
In October.
He tweeted competent white menmust be in charge if you want
things to work.
Unfortunately, our entirenational ideology is predicated
(05:47):
on coddling the feelings ofwomen and minorities and
demoralizing competent white men.
And I saw a different friendwho, like, reposted that and she
just she's a white woman andshe was just kind of like in
shock and awe and just, oh myGod, I can't believe he said
that and I can't believe that hewas still hired, and I can't
believe and I can't, god, Ican't believe he said that and I
can't believe that he was stillhired, and I can't believe and
I can't believe and I can'tbelieve, and I was just thinking
(06:08):
like the idea that men thinkthat white men think they're
being demoralized, the idea thatwhite men think that they are
the only ones competent andcapable of doing anything.
It's not a new idea to me.
It's not a new idea to, I'msure, a lot of you.
(06:30):
I knew at a very young age Imean I'm talking five, six,
seven that little white boysthought that they were better
than the girls.
And I knew that little whitegirls felt like they were better
than the black people Because Igrew up in going to white with
(06:51):
a white family, going to whitechurches, white schools and
living in a black neighborhoodand participating with some of
my black family members sometime.
So I had a foot in both worldsand it was very obvious to me
from a very young age thatlittle white boys were being
socialized, that they werebetter humans and more competent
humans.
I think it's just somethingthat all black people know.
(07:13):
I mean, tell me if I'm wrong,but like all black people know,
when you're raised in Americathat everybody else thinks
they're better than you.
So for them to say it out loud,they're saying they're saying
it out loud now and ever sinceTrump got elected he's, he's
doing it all of it so out loud.
You know it was kind of kind ofa little bit in the subtext of.
(07:33):
You know when he was running inyour face.
You know when he blamed the DCcrash recently on DEI.
Now that it's being said, Ithink a lot of white women are
(07:56):
ruffling their feathers andmaybe even, maybe even some
black folks.
I don't know, I'm not speakingfor everybody, but I know for me
, as a black woman raised inAmerica, this is what they've
always believed.
There is no moment in the lastsince I've been alive in the mid
70s, where the white collectivewas not like.
(08:20):
You know what.
We're going to be repentant,aware of how, what we have done
in this country and theramifications and, and even now,
the fact that we don't believethat black people are good
enough to do the jobs that wehold.
There hasn't been any of thatthere's, there's another.
There's never been anythingthat's actually been like a true
(08:43):
showing of reconciliation inany meaningful way that would
lead towards any sort ofmeaningful change behavior or
mindsets or collective thinking.
So here we are, here we are, andthe question is number one how
is it going to affect us?
All of this is going to affectus in major ways.
(09:05):
I pulled up.
I just did a quick search.
What are some of the ways thatthe new regime is going to
basically affect Black women?
And it brought up five thingsthat are true.
Changes to reproductive healthand rights.
You know, knowing we alreadyhave disproportionately high
rates of maternal mortality,these restrictions are going to
(09:26):
further limit access tolife-saving care, but the ripple
effects of state-levelabortions and the bans are going
to be stark.
The second one was thediversity, equity and inclusion
dei shifts.
So, as we know, on the firstday back he vowed to undo the
progress of dei, which is youknow what?
(09:47):
It's ridiculous.
I don't even have any wordsbeyond.
It's just fucking ridiculous.
But anyway, for black women, weoften already experienced, like
all these barriers in theworkplace, as double minorities,
as both women and black women.
But this is going to lead toless pathways to get to the top,
basically, and will leave Blackwomen more vulnerable to
(10:09):
discrimination and with fewerinstitutional mechanisms for
recourse.
Say something.
The next one is updated tariffpolicies.
Entrepreneurship has offered arealistic path for Black women
to achieve financialindependence.
Basically 61%, according to asurvey by Goldman Sachs in 2024,
(10:29):
61% of black women viewentrepreneurship as a necessary
pathway to creation excuse me towealth creation anyway.
The tariff policies, especiallyon imported goods, could
negatively affect industrieswhere black women are
prominently represented can Ieven talk represented including
beauty, retail and health care.
These policies and limitedaccess to capital, which has
(10:51):
been an ongoing challenge forBlack women entrepreneurs, could
destabilize the sustainabilityof their businesses.
And then, finally, healthcareaccess and chronic health
disparities.
So the administration is tryingto cut back on the Affordable
Care Act and reduce Medicaidfunding.
Black women disproportionatelysuffer from chronic conditions
like hypertension, diabetes andfibroids, conditions that are
(11:15):
significantly worsened by nothaving access to quality health
care, something we alreadystruggle with.
But with the things that theadministration is trying to do,
many Black women are going toface the prospect of losing
critical health care access, andfor those in undeserved
communities, these policiescreate additional hurdles.
And then, finally, civil rightslimitations.
The scrolling back of theDepartment of Justice's civil
(11:38):
rights oversight has raisedconcerns among advocacy groups.
So there's going to be weakenedenforcement of
anti-discrimination laws inhousing, education and
employment, which willdisproportionately impact Black
women, who often faceintersecting forms of bias.
The regression of theseprotections could heighten
systematic challenges, leavingBlack women more vulnerable to
exploitation and discrimination.
(12:00):
By the way, I'll put a link forthis article.
This is by Forbes, called FivePolicy Changes Under Trump that
Will Impact Black Women.
I mean, we don't even reallyneed that list to know.
Shit's about to be real fuckedup.
Let me just take a drink of mytea.
Oh, I put way too much honey init.
That is so hot.
(12:20):
I meant sweet, so sweet.
So what are we going to do andwhat are we supposed to do?
I have heard that the 92% issaying we ain't doing shit.
We about to sit back and lety'all deal with it, because the
thing is, there is enough whitepeople in this country.
There is enough white women inthis country.
There's enough people who votedfor Trump.
53% of white women voted forTrump.
(12:41):
There is enough of them who canprotect this country from
completely falling apart andcrumbling without us.
So what does all this mean forblack women and what we should
do?
Moving forward, I have seeneverywhere the 92% is taking a
rest.
We just go sit back and chill,because this is some absolute
fuckery and we have been on thefront lines and put our bodies
(13:04):
on the front lines way too manytimes, only to find out that no
one is behind us.
Who is thinking about us, whois supporting us, who is there
for us, who?
I think this is a great time,like I've seen so many other
Black women say this is not myidea.
This is a great time for us totruly prioritize our own lives,
(13:27):
our own self-care, and to foundand support movements that are
rooted in our own success andmeeting our own needs and
meeting needs for one another,because y'all buckle up, it's
going to get crazy.
I've just seen so many Blackwomen say it's really time to
focus on ourselves and ourcommunity and that's been, you
(13:48):
know, challenging for me,because there's a part of me is
someone who's always consideredmyself to be an activist and an
advocate.
Like I said, there's a part ofme that's like no, well, I can't
, I can't step down.
Like I don't want to step down.
I want to still be sharing, Iwant to still have a voice, I
want to still go to protests.
You know, I want to still teachmy Black daughter that, like we
can be part of the fight, wecan be part of the.
(14:10):
You know the resistance, theresistance, resistance.
You know what I mean that wecan do something.
And, at the same time, it's avery confusing time to be a
Black woman because, while thatis still the core of who I am,
it makes a lot of sense to methat if we don't directly pour
(14:32):
into ourselves, we will not bethere to lead any exchange, any
protest, any fight.
If y'all recall, eric Garner'sdaughter died not too long after
him.
Fighting and fighting, andfighting.
And she was young.
She was young when she died andshe died from preventable
(14:54):
health conditions.
And a lot of that, I believe,is because she was putting her
life and her body on the frontline to fight for justice for
her dad, and I think that shedid a noble thing and a
beautiful thing and shesacrificed herself and, at the
same time, if she had focused onherself and her own self care
and her physical and bodilyhealth, she could be around for
(15:14):
a lot longer.
Because, as we know, this isnot absolutely not a sprint.
This is a marathon.
We are gearing up for amarathon, especially for those
of us who have kids.
Like, it's crazy to me to thinkabout sending my kids out into
this world.
My kids are eight and a half,15 and 19, so they're, all you
(15:35):
know, in these next five to tenyears, going to be pushed out
into this world that we'vecreated for them, and I cannot
think about running myself intothe ground in the next four
years of Trump's pregnant I keepsaying pregnancy on accident of
his presidency and not be therefor these children who are
being pushed out into this crazyworld as Americans Like nah.
(15:58):
I have to see this as what canI do today, february, today is
Tuesday, february 4th.
What can I do today to love andcare for myself so that I can
be here for them on, you know,february 4th, 15 years from now,
2025, 2040.
Man, that's weird to thinkabout, but y'all get what I'm
(16:20):
saying.
I literally want you to stopand think about if we're going
to fight this regime, be here,try to love ourselves and love
others.
How can we care for ourselvesso that we're here to do that?
I was just telling my girl theother day.
I was like man, I'm sodiscouraged about everything
that's happening and everythinghe's doing in these executive
orders, and what if we lose thisand what if we lose that?
(16:42):
And how are people going tomanage without food stamps?
And I was just getting caughtup in it and I was like it made
me not want to do anything.
I just had this epiphany.
I told her I was just thinkingabout like how, you know, mutual
aid is going to become soimportant as social services are
dialed back and just supportand people being actual in an
(17:03):
actual community is going toreally matter now more than ever
.
And I was just thinking like, Ilove giving.
I've always loved givingfinancially.
I've always been someone whohas given financially.
It's just a part of who I am.
If someone asked me for moneyand I have it and I want to give
it to you, I'm going to give itto you.
You never have to pay me back.
Nobody owes me any moneybecause I never tell anybody
(17:23):
they got to pay me back.
That's just how I live and Ihave been.
I have experienced the karma ofthat in the good way, where
when I've needed money, peoplehave given me money and never
made me pay them back.
I just love giving.
I love giving a mutual aid.
And I thought the other day likegirl, if you don't get your
shit together and get out of bedand get over the hump of your
(17:45):
sadness and how incapacitatedyou feel at what's happening in
the world, how can you ever haveenough money to give to anybody
, to any mutual aid if you ain'tgot no money for yourself.
I literally wrote it out on asheet of paper like how?
Because I was finding myselffeeling so stressed about how I
could just focus on me, how Icould just be part of the 92%
(18:05):
who's like, man, fuck y'all, I'mjust focusing on myself.
And I had a very strong case oflike survivor's guilt hit me.
It was really weird.
So I was like, let me journalthis out.
Y'all not believe injournalists.
I was like, let me just try tofigure out.
Like what in the hell?
So I stopped and wrote down whatdoes it benefit anyone else for
(18:27):
you to be broke during thistime?
What does it benefit anyoneelse for you to be broke during
this time?
What does it benefit anyoneelse for you to sit around and
feel sorry for yourself?
That's not self-care.
What does it benefit anyoneelse at this time if you are not
mentally stable?
What does it benefit yourchildren if you can't mentally
like pull yourself together,because this is all so
overwhelming?
And you know that did it.
(18:47):
It snapped me out of it becauseI was like, oh shit, it don't
benefit nothing, no one, not.
Hold on, let me take anotherdrink.
I just want you to considerwhat you can do to focus on
yourself, and not just to focuson yourself, but to really build
.
And yes, I'm talking about moneyin part money, because we are
going to need it for ourselvesand for each other.
(19:08):
And for me, really thinkingabout and focusing on money
exclusively is just somethingthat it causes a little bit of
like.
I don't know, I guess I havemoney blocks, but that day that
was yesterday or the day beforewhen I sat down and write out
what does it benefit me to bebroke, that really helped me.
I was like, okay, let me setthese money blocks aside,
(19:30):
because there were times in thepast where we have had to build
our own churches, our ownschools, our own whatever, and
that required money and whateverour ancestors did back in the
day to acquire the funds tobuild up whole cities from the
bottom with nothing, barely anyeducation.
I'm just that's, that's wherewe're from, that's the kind of
(19:52):
resilience that we're from andin this day and age, with all of
these options and all of thesethings we can do, even though
we're exhausted and it's hard, Ithink there has to be some
focusing on how can we build?
How can we build.
How can we get more?
Not so we can be selfish andhave Chanel bags and not that
that's selfish in and of itselfbut not so that we can focus on
(20:13):
random little luxuries thatreally, honestly, don't matter
at the end of the day, butbecause of the fact that we know
that part of our actualresistance is caring for
ourselves, and we know we livein a climate, in a society,
where it costs money to care foryourself.
It costs way more to buy abanana at the grocery store than
(20:33):
like a big box of chocolate,cheap ass marshmallow bars that
are killing us.
The banana, the single banana,costs more than the box of these
chocolate bars.
Y'all know the ones I'm talkingabout.
They have all the sprinkles andthey're really good, but
they're so, so horrible for you.
I want to encourage you, asblack women, to think about all
(20:55):
the areas that matter to you.
What are the top three or fouror five areas that matter the
most to your well-being, andfocus on that.
And when I tell you, I havebeen writing it down, I've been
scripting every day and what I'mscripting is those areas I
first deal with, like my mentalhealth.
What are the top things thatneed to happen, that I need to
manifest so that my mentalhealth is at, so that it's
(21:18):
healthy.
Okay, from there I move on tomoney.
What is the what is the exactthings that I need to do?
What's the exact amount I needto make so that I'm in a place
of financial freedom, so that Ican give to mutual aid requests
and take care of myself and takecare of my children and deal
with you know everything I'mgoing through medically with
perimenopause and all of that.
(21:40):
The next thing is dealing withrelationships, and I don't mean
like romantic relationships, Imean all the relationships in my
life, realizing like who'scausing me stress, who's not
causing me stress, who's addingto my life, who's bringing joy,
who is it nice to be around?
What do I need to develop inmyself so that I can be a better
(22:02):
, for example, mother, mother tomy daughter, mother to my sons.
But part of the reason I said,like I said, I have no roster,
nothing, a zero roster.
This is the first time in sucha long time that I have nothing,
nothing and no one on theroster.
First time in such a long timethat I have nothing, nothing and
no one on the roster.
That's in part because I'mreally realizing, like my
(22:23):
girlfriends non-romanticgirlfriends, I'm not gay in any
way, but like my actualgirlfriends, friends who are
girls they bring me so much lifeand so much joy and so much
peace.
They actually care.
Y'all know what I'm trying tosay.
When you have really goodgirlfriends that really know how
to love you well, it can bevery hard, in my opinion, as a
single woman, to find a man whowill love you as well as your
girlfriends do, who will takecare of you the way that they do
(22:45):
, who will be as thoughtful andas kind and considerate and
consistent.
And so, yeah, I just startedremoving everyone on the roster,
no matter what men, at least ifthey weren't bringing me the
kinds of joy and peace and loveand support and encouragement
that my lady friends do really,really reduced stress in such a
(23:13):
major way.
Even just connecting to meninitially in a talking phase can
sometimes bring about a certainamount of stress.
So I'm not out here tellingy'all well, because the election
, you have to stay single.
I'm definitely not saying thatand I definitely don't even
think I will be single forever.
But I do believe that we haveto look at where we're at
(23:33):
personally and where I was atpersonally is like I don't want
anyone in my life at all whobrings any modicum of stress
outside of just being a parent,because being a parent in and of
itself can be stressful, asy'all know, and so that is
something that I am going to do,no matter what.
So if I feel any sort of stressin any relationships, it's
going to be the mother daughterstress Okay, the mother son
(23:56):
stress, not some random manstress.
And then the final thing on thatlist that you should be
thinking about and prioritizingis your physical health.
What are you doing to get yourheart thumping a couple times a
week?
Are you strength training?
Are you going for walks?
Are you doing things that carefor your body?
Are you thinking about what doI need to eat so that my body is
(24:17):
healthy?
These are basic things, y'all,but I'm telling y'all, once I
started January, for me it waslike really January in general,
because I had been ramping up toa lot of these changes.
But once I started January aftermy birthday because my birthday
is December 30.
And I turned 48 December 30.
And I always use my birthday aslike for this next year what do
(24:41):
I want to focus on during my48th year.
So it just happens to coincidewith the new year, but really I
was thinking about my 48th year.
What do I want for my 48th year?
And I had already been rampingup.
I've been on the Galveston dietfor the last six months.
I'd already been ramping upwith doing walks and weights and
trying to be more active, andthen in January I joined a gym.
(25:01):
I had already been doing littlethings you know, just to pursue
health in different ways, tosleep better, so I got some
mouth sleep tape, which actuallyhas helped me sleep better.
By the way, I was already doingsome things.
I had just recently gotdiagnosed officially with ADHD
and so I got some L-theanine.
And I'm just giving you alllittle examples, like it's just
constantly on my mind.
Is it on your mind?
(25:22):
These big areas what am I doingto keep my body healthy?
What am I eating?
How am I keeping it healthyphysically?
Relationships what am I doingso that I'm surrounding myself
with positive, happy,peace-filled relationships?
Money what am I doing so I canmake more money and give more
money and save more money andinvest more money?
And then mental health what arewe doing to care for our mental
(25:44):
health, to be sure that it's ina good place.
These, literally, could beapplied at any time, but it just
feels like right now they'remore important.
So when I tell you, I'm focusingon that every single day, I'm
focusing on those things everysingle day, trying to set myself
up so that, when all of thesethings have more and more
unbearable ramifications formore and more people around us,
(26:07):
I can actually be strong andhealthy and mentally prepared
and financially prepared toactually do what I feel called
to do when I'm ready to do it.
The absolute worst thing for mewould be to do when I'm ready
to do it.
The absolute worst thing for mewould be to want to help or
want to do something and justhave my hands tied, which has
happened to me so many timesbefore.
It's such a sad feeling.
This is just my littleencouragement to you to, yes,
(26:28):
rest.
Yes, take care of yourself.
Yes, focus on your happiness.
Yes, focus on your body.
Yes, focus on just eatinghealthier.
Yes, focus on taking time tomeditate over doom scrolling.
Yes, focus on how you canpractice mindfulness.
Yes, take time out from theendless news cycle.
(26:50):
You know, I don't know if y'allneed to hear that or not.
If you need permission to hearit, I'm giving you permission
because I'm taking that myself.
I am stopping myself fromlooking at so much stuff,
reading some from so much stuffabout what's happening and
realizing that in this moment Ihave air in my lungs and I can
(27:10):
take a breath and I can findsomething to be grateful for,
and in this moment I know mykids are safe and happy and
healthy.
In this moment there is noreason to feel guilt or shame
about those realities, that weare provided for, that we have a
home, etc.
And in this moment I can bethankful that God has me in a
(27:33):
right state of mind Becausethere could be a moment three
months, six months, a year downthe line where I need to make a
choice, to do something hard andI can make a clear-headed
choice that reflects my valuesand not out of just fear.
I guess I just want you to knowthat if you take a break, if
you take a rest, it does notmean that you're not concerned
about poor people losing fundingor DEI initiatives being
(27:57):
cracked open or Ilanazi havingaccess to our social security
numbers.
There are worrying thingshappening, but I do think that
if we can look and say God hasus, we are going to be okay and
there is no battle that we canfight right in this moment, in
this present moment that we'reworrying, and that helps me.
(28:20):
I try to think about myself-care and my ability to
compartmentalize some of thisstuff in a way, as a way to
prepare me for a day where Imight do something.
I don't know what, but I'm partof the resistance.
So one day I might be calledupon to make a choice.
I don't know what, but I'm partof the resistance.
So one day I might be calledupon to make a choice.
I don't know what that choicecould be.
It could be to cut somebody outor more.
(28:41):
I'm really just talking y'all.
But I do think that it's betterto think about our own lives as
bigger and far beyond him, assomeone who was a narcissistic
abuse survivor and seeing him asthe absolute narcissist who he
is.
I know we shouldn't armchairdiagnose anybody, but if anybody
has narcissistic personalitydisorder, it is Trump and
(29:03):
Elanazi Okay, they both got NPD.
But one thing that I know and Iremember learning from
surviving narcissisticpersonality disorder abuser is
you don't obsess.
You don't obsess over them.
You have to stop obsessing overthem and you have to worry
about you yourself and yourresponse to it.
(29:23):
So this is a prep time.
This is a preparation time forblack women for us to really
fully, fully focus on our ownhealth in every way possible,
because one thing we're notgoing to do is not be ready.
We're going to stay ready.
Okay, we're going to stay ready.
Anyway, thank you for listening.
This episode was a little bitdifferent and a little bit all
(29:45):
over the place, so thank you forbeing here.
If you're not yet, please signup for my newsletter.
I'm going to start sending outa newsletter once a week.
Hopefully.
That way you can keep up todate with everything.
And if you're not, follow me oninstagram at grace underscore
sandra underscore is my personalone and the podcast is the same
name out here trying to survive.
Same name on tiktok out heretrying to survive.
(30:06):
And finally, you might not knowthis, but I'm the author of a
book called grace, actuallymemoirs of love, faith, loss and
black womanhood.
I have it here YouTube.
You can pick this up on Amazonin digital or hard copy.
And if you haven't yet, pleaseleave me a rating and review on
Apple Podcasts.
I'm just new, again trying toget this podcast pushed out into
(30:26):
the world.
I would really, really valueyour honest feedback.
Again, thank you for joining meagain today.
Just remember that you are verystrong, very resilient and very
capable of creating andchoosing a life that you desire
and deserve.
Until next time, keep shining,y'all.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.