March 19, 2025 • 41 mins
When you strip away the noise surrounding Meghan Markle's Netflix show "With Love Megan," what emerges is a powerful narrative about a woman reclaiming her identity after trauma. Before becoming a royal, Meghan had a lifestyle blog and philanthropic pursuits that she was forced to abandon. Now, freed from those constraints, she's returned to her authentic creative self—and it's beautiful to witness.
The vitriol directed at Meghan reveals something troubling about how society responds to Black women who refuse to stay in their "assigned" places. The cooking show, with its whimsical edible flowers and casual conversations, represents more than just lifestyle content—it's a declaration that she survived the racist attacks of British tabloids and emerged with her joy intact.
As someone who understands aspects of Meghan's experience as a light-skinned biracial woman, I see the subtle racism beneath complaints about "unrelatability." Yes, her Montecito garden and royal connections aren't everyday reality for most of us, but rejecting content solely because a Black woman dares to occupy traditionally white spaces says more about the critics than the content itself.
What we can learn from Meghan is resilience, authenticity, and the courage to define yourself rather than letting others define you. When she says "I'm gonna do it my way," it's a lesson for all of us struggling under expectations that dim our light. Her journey reminds us to rediscover what brings us joy and pursue it relentlessly, regardless of criticism.
Don't let haters determine your path. Whether you're preparing elaborate meals with edible flowers or pursuing other creative passions, the act of living authentically despite opposition is revolutionary. What would your life look like if you followed Meghan's example and refused to let others dictate your worth?
📚MY BOOK📚
Grace, Actually: Faith, Love, Loss & Black Womanhood
💌SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER! 💌
https://www.outheretrynasurvive.com/newslettersignup
📧 BUSINESS INQUIRIES📧
💐SUBSCRIBE TO MY PODCAST INNER CIRCLE
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/supporters/new
💻MY BLOG💻
🔗 https://outheretrynasurvive.com
⚡️CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL⚡️
📲INSTAGRAM -https://www.instagram.com/grace_sandra_
📲TIK-TOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@OutHereTrynaSurvive
📲FACEBOOK -https://www.facebook.com/gracesandrawrites
📲TWITTER - https://mobile.twitter.com/Grace_Sandra_
🖇AFFILIATE INFO🖇
Affiliate Links included. I only recommend products & services I use myself & love. Using affiliate links helps me & is no extra cost to you.
🎗SUPPORT🎗
💐Support here: https://www.patreon.com/GraceSandra
🎶MUSIC🎶
All music & permissions provided by: Epidemic Sound.
🔗
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
queasy and exhausting .
New frontiers andunrelatability.
A lifestyle show that smug,syrupy endurance watch that you
would rather fry your eyeballsout than sit through, etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Those are some of the reviewsfor With Love Megan.
I read some other stuff onTikTok yesterday.
I can't even find it, but itwas just people being people.
(00:22):
We know how the internet is ingeneral, but some of the stuff
that people were saying it'slike you literally have nothing
that you're actually giving.
You just don't like her.
You don't like her becauseshe's Black.
Like, please just acknowledgeit.
You're just racist.
I hate to see it.
(00:43):
I hate to see it.
I literally hate to see it.
I hate to see it.
I literally hate to see it.
Start this episode by saying Ido think there are things we can
learn from Megan and also Ikind of relate to Megan in a few
ways.
You know there's a lot of waysI can't relate to Megan, as we
(01:07):
all know, but like there aresome ways that I kind of do, and
one of them is we are bothlight skin, biracial,
conventionally pretty women andsome of the ways that she's been
attacked in the press and themedia over this whole span of
whatever ever since becameMeghan Markle, became a
household name.
Some of the ways that she hasexperienced racism has been very
(01:31):
similar to some of the waysthat I've experienced racism as
a light skin, conventionallypretty woman of color.
Now it's that's really whereall of it ends, because beyond
that, me and her have had verydifferent lives.
She has a black mother and awhite father.
I had a white Italian motherand a black father and she grew
up in California.
I grew up in Detroit.
(01:51):
I'm really not even honestlytrying to compare myself to her
all that much.
I'm just saying like there areways that I've experienced
racism that have felt oddlysimilar and so, as soon as she
got in the news, started datingHarry and it became a big thing.
I was just like ain't thisabout a bitch?
Ain't this about a bitch?
Now, first, before we start thisepisode, let me tell y'all that
(02:12):
, in the spirit of Megan, I'mwearing a button down jean shirt
, which I never wear.
This is not my style.
I'm wearing nude nails and, youknow, ever so whimsical jewelry
, just in the spirit ofchanneling Megan.
I don't even usually wear myhair straight, but I just
started wearing it.
By the way, this is not an 18inch bust down y'all.
This is my real hair.
Okay, this is my real hair, outhere in these streets, just
(02:34):
thriving and long, and I didthis myself to the cut, the
color, the straightening, thecurls, y'all.
How did I get so talented?
I'm'm just kidding.
The truth is like I usuallywear my hair natural and it's
big and it's curly and I do alot of um, protective styles.
But I just thought, you know,I'm gonna continue to channel
Megan today with the look evenyou know.
You know she always the sistergirl always got her cuffs rolled
(02:57):
up.
So I have my cuffs rolled up.
By the way, if you're, ifyou're not, if you're just
listening to this, you can see,but on the cover I'm sure you
can see my shirt.
Anyway, that's my little homageto Megan before we get going.
So we're going to talk aboutWith Love Megan and I think,
what there is to learn from her,because I think there are
things, lots of things to learn,even from our parasocial
relationship with her.
(03:23):
This past week I watched WithLove Megan on Netflix, which is
her kind of, you know, cookinglifestyle show.
You know, I thought it was verywhimsical and very lighthearted
and very cute.
I thought it was sweet.
I was very inspired by the kindof joy that it's very obvious
that she gets from cooking forother people.
I think she even says in theshow at one point like this is
my love language cooking forother people, seeing them happy,
seeing them love my food andenjoy my food, which I think is
(03:45):
just the gift of hospitality.
It's very obvious that she hasthe gift of hospitality and as
someone who does not have thatgift it's not innate in me, but
I have one of my very bestfriends has the gift of
hospitality and I've seen upclose and personal how much
those people they love lovingyou with their food.
They love it and they lovewatching you love it and I could
(04:05):
see that in her and I lovedthat about the show.
I love that it came out that shehas just a childlike joy to the
kind of things that she wasdoing, like getting the honey
from the bees and putting thelittle flowers on the.
Everything really, the donutsand the eggs and everything had
an edible flower on it which Ihadn't even heard of, and just
(04:25):
like the homemaking aspect of it.
I'm someone who did not grow upwith a mom who celebrated that
in any way or taught me anythingabout homemaking.
I don't.
I still don't really know a lotabout homemaking.
I kind of aspire to, but itfeels still really big and
overwhelming to me.
I just I learned a lot aboutjust just from watching the show
(04:46):
.
I feel like I learned a lot.
Actually, I made her one potpasta the second day after I
watched the first episode whereshe makes it, and it was so good
.
I added bacon in mine, but itwas still so so good.
And my son, who usually doesn'tlike pasta, was just like oh,
this is actually.
This is actually pretty damngood.
To address some of thecomplaints that people have
(05:06):
about its unrelatability Okay,y'all, here's the thing.
Is her lifestyle out of touchfor most of us, for 98% of the
of the country?
Yeah, it is, it's out of touch.
You know she's got a wholegarden, a whole and not just a
garden.
But like, everything that youcould ever grow it seems like on
(05:27):
the planet is in that garden.
That was the thing I was justlike do you really like have
access to every single foodgroup growing in your backyard,
like all year?
Like, I know it was a set, Iknow the house was a set, but I
wasn't sure if, like, the garden, was her garden at her house or
if it was part of the set, buteither way, yeah, that's out of
(05:47):
touch.
Even honestly, just being a stayat home mom and being home and
available and accessible to yourkids all day and not having to
go to work is out of touch formost of us.
I think being able to makehundreds of millions of dollars
just exploring your creativityis out of touch.
Yes, I can acknowledge that,because I believe that her and
(06:09):
Harry signed $100 million dealto produce lots of different
shows for Netflix, including thefirst one, harry and Meghan,
the documentary, and then this,this one, and then, I think, the
podcast.
I don't actually I don't knowif that's part of it, but either
way, the whole thing is alifestyle that a lot of us
aren't privy to.
But I think for those of us whoaren't haters and assholes, we
(06:32):
can acknowledge yeah, that's notmy life and I can still be
happy for her that she's livingthat life and I can still learn
from her and I can still enjoythe whole experience of getting
to watch it.
It also feels a lot sweeter tome to be able to watch it
knowing that she just came outof the most racist empire that's
(06:55):
ever existed in known historyto man.
Literally she came out of the,the, the british royal family
that is part of colonizing theentire planet literally the most
damaging empire the world hasever seen.
And y'all gonna tell me it'snot cool for her to sit up and
(07:19):
make some donuts and sprinklesand cinnamon rolls and enjoy
herself after she just escapedthe fuckery that is the British
royal family Like I'm just happythat she's not in an
environment where everything isso racist and so extreme.
(07:40):
They felt like they had to fleeback to America, leaving their
royal duties and all that otherstuff.
That's so ingrained that Idon't really still fully
understand as an American.
But they left all of thatbecause it was so bad.
The racism was so acute and wecan see from the Harry and
Meghan documentary it was themost like severe kind of racism,
(08:02):
the most kidnapping threats,the most death threats, the most
anything that some of the youknow, some of the people in the
Royal Guard or whatever the lawenforcement, whatever they got
over there said it was the worstthey had ever seen.
And that includes PrincessDiana, who was literally like
unalived by all of the madnesssurrounding the press.
(08:24):
And she left that and is nowmaking heart shaped pancakes for
her children.
Like I'm happy for her.
Who would not be happy forsomeone to leave trauma and then
find their way creatively andmake money doing it?
Hell, yeah, I also feel like asa mom, I can just celebrate
(08:49):
that she's a creativestay-at-home mom living her best
life with her kids, even if itjust stopped there, and also
that that's possible in 2025,when everything else is going to
hell in a handbasket.
Like I'm happy that there arepeople out there who get to have
an existence, particularly ablack woman that many other
(09:09):
black women have not been privyto before.
And I know that the reason whya that white women can't stand
(09:29):
her is because they can't be her.
They will never be here.
They'll never be married totheir prince.
They'll never be married to awhite, redheaded prince who
governs.
I know it's not governed, butyou know.
(09:50):
You know I don't understandroyal family dynamics, but who's
an important prince?
Okay, across the sea.
They know they'll never be hereand they're really just jealous
, bitter, hating ass.
Karens.
It's insane.
After I watched the documentaryand saw like the kind of trauma
that she was experiencing,particularly race related trauma
(10:12):
.
I was.
It was kind of shocking.
I'm so glad they left and it'svery sad to me that I've seen a
lot of people label her as anarcissist for wanting to leave
that kind, for wanting to leavethe royal family.
For you know what they sayforcing Harry to leave it's
(10:35):
that's not what a narcissistdoes.
Yeah, people are very confusedabout that, but I think the
first thing we can learn fromher is a powerful level of
resilience.
And here's the thing, here'sthe thing which I think is
really important.
Not just resilience, but beingfirmly who you are and kind of
(10:56):
getting your man, getting yourbag, getting who you are and
still moving forward despite thehaters is kind of a flex.
One of the things that Megantalked about, that she got hated
on so much, was that statementthat she made about how that
people never brought up race asmuch as when she, you know,
started dating Harry and joinedthe real family, moved, moved in
all that shit.
That is one way I really haverelated to her and have felt
(11:23):
like I understand you.
I understand you Because, as alight-skinned black person, as a
biracial person we're bothbiracial a lot of times this
really weird dynamic will happenwhere you know I'm just light
enough.
You can look at me and see I'ma sugar cookie.
I'm light, okay, I'm lightskinned.
And growing up I realized thatfor some reason, when I will be
around white people, just in allwhite spaces, they would talk
(11:48):
badly about black people.
And number one, just just sayingit, just outright saying stuff
that was just like this, isinsane that you're saying this
in front of me.
I, when I was younger, I didn'tunderstand it and it the first
time it ever happened was mystepdad and my stepdad's mom
what am I saying?
(12:08):
My stepdad's wife.
And when I say stepdad, thiswas my older siblings, their dad
.
For a little while he was like,yeah, you can hang out with me,
and maybe he was trying to givemy mom a break, so him and my
mom weren't together.
I called him Daddy Dwayne.
So Daddy Dwayne and his wifeSherry were in the car.
I'm just give you a littleexample, but this happened to me
(12:28):
all the time, but it was one ofthe ones I remember so vividly
and we were in the car and wewere leaving.
Oh, I forgot the name of themall.
I forgot the name of the mall.
It was one of the malls thatmostly white people used to go
to.
And Sherry said something likeyeah, it's such a shame that all
these black people are comingto the mall here now.
(12:49):
And Daddy Dwayne said somethinglike yeah, they used to never
come here and now they're hereall the time.
And Sherry is just like, oh,what a shame, what a shame.
Now I'm in the backseat of thecar listening to them.
It's not like they were tryingto hide the conversation.
It's not like it was a big carand it was only the three of us
and the music wasn't on.
That I remember, and I justremember being like what the
fuck, bro?
And I was pretty young.
(13:13):
I don't remember how old I wasat all, but it had to be in the
like seven, eight, nine range.
So I was pretty young and justfeeling like I am black.
Why would you say that in frontof me?
I'm so confused.
But I was young enough andconfused enough.
I didn't say anything, I didn'taddress it at all.
And then, for me, my mom sent meto lots of white spaces.
(13:33):
She was my mom, who was white,was trying to keep me out of
black spaces.
I almost felt like my mom wastrying to protect me from black
spaces and black people as oftenas possible.
When we shopped, we went to thewhite stores, the grocery
stores, you know, the postoffice.
When we left my street, we wasturning right onto Six Mile and
(13:55):
headed towards Redford and thesuburbs, and we were never
turning left and headed towardsthe, the city of Detroit.
Okay, because my mom was likewe're gonna get the, I'm gonna
get you out of here.
If we got to live here, I'mgonna get you out of here.
So she was sending me to awhite church.
I was going to a, you know, awhite little youth group called
Awanas, and then she was puttingme in white schools.
(14:15):
My mom was like you littleyouth group called Awanas, and
then she was putting me in whiteschools.
My mom was like you're notgoing to hear from black people.
If it's up to me, you're notgoing to hear from these black
people.
And the more I was around thesewhite people, the more they just
kept talking about stuff aboutblack people or they'd say
something that it was real sickand demented to.
They would say something badabout black people and then
(14:36):
they'd be like you understand,don't you Grace?
Like they wanted me to join inon bullying other black people
and I was just always like whatis happening here.
So from from, I feel like froma fairly young age, I had to,
maybe unlike Megan, because shegrew up in California Detroit is
very, very racially segregated,so there was just very rarely
(14:59):
spaces where there was a lot ofus in every room, not like where
I live now, which is odd, butwhere I live now like it's more
integrated.
But Detroit is highly segregated, highly segregated as hell.
So when I was growing up, itwas either me and all white
people or me and all blackpeople in rooms and or wherever
I was.
And so I had to decide prettyyoung, and I decided pretty
(15:23):
young like these white peopleare crazy, like y'all are, just,
y'all are horrible.
It was just pretty obvious.
So I put my, drew my line inthe sand pretty young, but it
still kept happening the more Iwas in these white environments
and um, and it was just likewhen I was around black people
(15:44):
growing up in Detroit, somebodywould say here and they're like
well, what are you?
Well, what is you, you know?
And I would be like I'm mixed.
And then I, and then at somepoint I just started saying I'm
black.
I didn't even, I didn't evenfuck with the I'm mixed, because
it felt like then they weregoing to ask more questions and
I just didn't always want toanswer because it was just kind
of like I'm really over thisconversation, like I've had this
(16:06):
conversation like 400 times now, even though I know you're
curious.
So sometimes I just be like I'mblack, which is I say now I
don't even go into it now, noteven because I don't feel like
it's just like I don't haveItalian identity.
I could, I could lie, I couldtry to pretend I don't have no
(16:26):
identity in being a white womanat all.
So I'm black, but anyway.
So when I was around all blackpeople it just didn't seem like
they, like race was talked aboutvery much.
It was a few questions here orthere, the initial what are you?
And then it was like kind ofover with, and then we just went
on to doing what we were doingand it just didn't get brought
up.
So I can kind of understandfrom Megan's point of view, like
(16:49):
growing up where she grew up inLA, that people just some
people, accepted her or justdidn't talk about it a lot.
And then all of a sudden you goto this whole new environment
with all white people and it'slike all they can talk about.
And I relate to that from goingto white schools and stuff.
When it just got brought up somuch.
It just got brought up so much.
(17:11):
Every little thing like, oh youknow, let me touch your hair,
you just it starts to feel likeyou're a circus act.
It's a really bizarre feelingand I felt it on a level that is
, you know, two percent of whatshe felt being thrown into the
national, like global spotlight.
So I wasn't too mad at her,even though her identity is not
(17:35):
as black as mine.
But we've all had different, Imean mixed kids.
Yeah, if it's one thing I'velearned about mixed kids all
over America, we all have reallywildly different experiences.
I don't feel like any of usmixed kids have enough of a
joint experience to be able tosay like, oh yeah, that's what
it is.
Yep, that's what it's like tobe grew up mixed in America.
It's all really, reallydifferent.
As an aside, this one time whenI was working with college
(17:58):
students I did, I led a seminarfor mixed race kids who had
black and something else at abig conference and there was
like 40 students from all overthe country who came to the
seminar.
All of them at least had black,and then everything else.
So everybody looked reallywildly different and it was
beautiful.
It was so beautiful.
We ended up having like a fourhour discussion of what their
(18:18):
experience was being raisedmixed in America and I.
It was very eye opening for mebecause all of us were very
different.
But there was this one woman inparticular who was very
beautiful, very dark skinnedwoman and she was crying and she
looked at me and she was like Ifeel like you're blacker than
me, like she was like I nevergrew up in black spaces, I never
(18:40):
went to, had, you know, livedin a black neighborhood.
She was like I just don't feelblack at all.
I was just looking at her like,well, I don't feel white at all
, even though I'm like lightskin could probably I mean maybe
, I don't know, I'm like lightskin, could probably pay.
I mean I maybe I don't know Icould try to pass.
I've never have, but I couldprobably pass and our
(19:01):
experiences were so wildlydifferent.
And then when I read BarackObama's book Dream of my Father,
dreams for my Father, whateverit's called I, that was the best
memoir.
Okay, I'm on a tangent, buty'all get my point.
Like our experiences are sowildly different and I just
think, as a biracial woman whohas been judged in the past for
(19:22):
how I view my blackness, justyou know, just the regular
shmegular shit that black peopleget, like we just tend to get
complaints from everybody abouteverything and I feel, like the
complaints that she was getting,I was like, oh, it's because
she's light skin and people wantto quantify and qualify her
(19:45):
experience and you really can't,because everybody's is really
different, and even me and her,like I think, if we were to sit
down and have a conversationwhich, megan, I would love if
you're open to I think if me andher had an unmiked, unfilmed
conversation about what it'slike to be mixed in America as
light skin, conventionallypretty women, I really think our
(20:09):
experience would be so vastlydifferent Not talking about when
she was famous before, wasfamous before any of that I
think our experience would bereally, really different.
And it's just so easy forpeople to say like, oh, so,
because she said this, it meansthis, and it's like no, she just
said what she said.
Like all of a sudden she'smarrying this white dude who's a
(20:31):
literal freaking prince.
His mom was the most, maybe oneof the most popular women who's
ever lived, with the mostrecognizable face who's ever
lived and all of a sudden she'son a global platform and she's a
light-skinned, pretty blackgirl.
Like, of course, people aregonna drag her about.
(20:53):
Everything she says it has to dowith race.
I I mean some of the stuff thatI say about race and race over
the years.
The only reason I haven't gotdragged is just because I'm not
on any sort of big scale Period.
I think if more people werelistening, I would get dragged
somehow about something I saidand also y'all, it's damned if
(21:14):
you do, damned if you don't.
If she talked about race moreor her experience being black in
america, I think a lot of blackpeople would come for her.
Like really, um, about whatthat?
About her talking about it toomuch?
White people will come for her.
Oh my god, she's playing therace card.
I think she's.
It does.
She's damned as she do, damnedas she don't.
No matter what about this wholerace issue.
(21:36):
But either way, I do feel likewhat I heard in the documentary
is that was hella traumatic.
That was hella traumatic and Ireally think if they had stayed,
like while other people thinkthat was very narcissistic of
her to drag Harry out ofwhatever Harry has said in
interviews in the past, by theway, that he never liked being
in England, that he wanted toleave Harry out of whatever
(21:57):
Harry has said in interviews inthe past, by the way, that he
never liked being in England,that he wanted to leave.
Harry was ready to get the hellout.
Harry knows they killed hismama and he was ready to go.
And then he's got to watch hiswife being treated appallingly
and y'all expected them to stay.
And then the royal family neversaid hey, I'm sorry you're
enduring this kind of abuse.
The kids are comparing yourchildren to monkeys and y'all
expected them to stay.
(22:19):
It's just kind of wild to me.
But anyway, let's just say theyhad stayed.
I really think it would haveunalived her.
I really think the experiencewould have unalived her or
someone else would have unalivedher.
So, yeah, the fact that theygot the hell out of the hell out
of Dodge and created a new lifefor themselves, and what I saw
in with love Megan, was hergetting back to who she was
(22:40):
before she met him, becausedon't forget y'all.
Before she met him, she had theTIG and her whole lifestyle
blog and she was into cookingand entertaining and fresh
flowers and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
She was.
She was into all of that beforeshe met him.
So this is not out of leftfield, but some people who are
uneducated seem to think it is.
So I'm really glad that theydecided to forge a new path for
(23:01):
themselves and I'm really gladthat she is living in her lane,
living her best life.
I also think it's reallyimportant for us to see black
women just standing strong andjust standing who in who they
are, unapologetically.
If this is what she loves to do, then let her cook.
(23:21):
Let her cook figuratively andliterally.
Another thing meg was doingbefore she met harry was
philanthropic work, and theytalked about that in the
documentary how.
That's one of the things theybonded over, because you know,
princess diana was all intophilanthropic shit too.
She was already like loudly,loudly advocating for gender
(23:42):
equality and societal issues,just justice issues in general
and she had to shut all thatdown when they got engaged and
then got married.
Because she wasn't allowed to.
She had to shut down herlifestyle blog and her instagram
and all of her philanthropicwork had to become quieter.
So it didn't look like she wasliking the publicity, you know.
(24:07):
But they bonded on some of thatphilanthropic shit.
They bonded on her love ofsocial justice and wanting to do
all of that.
So I think what's reallybeautiful about seeing this show
for me was seeing her, not theI mean, I know there's no
philanthropic part of it to cookfor your friends and family,
but seeing her doing what sheloves to do.
(24:29):
That is who she was when Harrymet her and she.
She said that in a recentinterview.
I forgot where I read it, butshe basically said I think Harry
, seeing me come alive again andhave that spark in my eye has
made him love me more.
I forgot how she said it, butbasically, like he's seeing how
happy this all makes me and itmakes him reminded of the woman
(24:49):
he met.
Forget her.
And Harry started the ArchwellFoundation which basically, like
, helps deal with the problem ofonline harassment which shock,
you know, is what sheexperienced and to give voice to
people who feel very overlookedand very silenced, which I
think is a really beautifulthing.
Like it or not, this woman saidI'm gonna do it my way.
(25:12):
She said I'm gonna do it my way.
She said I'm gonna do it my wayand I don't care what y'all
bitches think.
I love that she defied all thetraditional roles that the
british royal family was tryingto hammer down into her.
I love that megan was like fuckthem roles, fuck y'all rules
and roles and all of that, fuckall y'all.
(25:34):
And I love that she isbasically essentially redefined
what it means to be royal, likeyeah, I'm the Duchess of Sussex
bitch and also got a cookingshow and a podcast, and I'm all
here in Montecito, california,having a full ass garden, living
my best life.
Now what y'all got to say?
Oh and, by the way, the showjust got renewed for season two
(25:59):
and I love this.
I love it so much.
I love it for all the haters.
I just I love it.
There was also something in theshow she said at some point.
I forgot who she was talking to, but one of the one of the last
interviews, I think it was whenshe was talking with the woman
who started Tatcha, which I alsothought was very cool.
But she said something like canyou imagine where we're going
(26:20):
to be in 10 years?
And she was like oh, 10 years.
Whatever it is, wherever it is,I have no idea, but it's going
to be amazing.
And I really took from that thatthat was more of her as an
entrepreneur, not so much as aroyal and not even so much maybe
as a wife or a mom, even thoughthat's certainly part of it.
But when she was like, oh, in10 years, and you can just see
(26:43):
her kind of brain calculatingand I was thinking this is what
she's made for, this is reallywhat she wants to do, like it's
obvious from everything she said, from the book, the documentary
.
You know, when you take all ofit, like this woman is a
creative and she's a leader andshe, she wants, she, she doesn't
want to be dimmed, she doesn'twant to be dimmed and becoming
(27:06):
Harry's wife could have dimmedher.
Basically, like William andKate, kate has been completely
dimmed.
We don't know nothing about her, about Kate, except for that
she's William's wife and thatshe is has cancer, which I'm so
sorry to hear, and hopefullyshe's okay.
I don't wish any ill will onany human at all, except for
(27:28):
Trump and Musk and Candace Owens, but other than those three I
don't have no ill will for anyhuman on this planet.
But Kim has been.
Who is she?
What are her interests?
We don't know.
So what I love seeing about allof this, what I loved about with
(27:50):
love Megan, was seeing a womanwho's saying this is who I am
and I'm gonna do what the fuck Iwant to do and I don't care.
I don't care that y'all haveracist shit to say, I don't care
that you think I'm boring orcringy.
Maybe Megan is a nerd.
Maybe she I was really.
When she had the sweater overher shoulders, I was like baby,
(28:12):
what is you doing?
Like I love her style.
I love her style, except forthe sweater over her shoulders.
If you want to talk aboutunrelatable, that was
unrelatable.
Like who the hell is wearingtheir sweater over their
shoulders?
Like that anymore?
Come on, megan.
But other than that, like Ilove that she gave us a glimpse
(28:32):
into a very light-hearted sideof her.
I love that you could see this,the twinkle in her eye when she
would try something you knowthat she made and she loved it.
I love that she gave us ideas,etc.
Etc.
I could go on with all thelittle cutesy stuff, but I loved
it.
I love that with love, megan isalso creating a road, an inroad,
(28:54):
in some way, a new path forblack women in general.
I think anytime that a blackwoman is paving the way with
something like this kind of likeTabitha Brown did, like Tabitha
Brown and all the ways that shehas paved the way for other
black women in herentrepreneurial pursuits, I
think, with Love, megan doesthat for us as well, in a
different way, because, again,her life is different than all
of hers, all of ours.
(29:15):
She is a royalist, that's stillall there, but it still does
not only pave the way, but Ilove that for me as a you know,
as mother of a black daughter,can show her this and be like
look at this black woman wholooks like us.
What she actually does looklike us, like me and my daughter
are both this light skin, wehave the same kind of hair as
(29:37):
Megan, et cetera and say look atthis woman who literally looks
like us, doing something likethis on this scale and loving it
and enjoying it and living inher soft life, luxury, black
girl era, and it's a good thing,baby girl, it's a good thing.
Also, we need to recognizethere's power in her voice, for
example, the Le Creuset, leCreuset, I didn't, I didn't.
(30:00):
I'm so uncultured y'all.
I'm such an uncultured swine.
I didn't, I didn't.
I'm so uncultured y'all.
I'm such an uncultured swine.
I didn't know anything about LaCrusette.
La Crusette, I didn't even knowthat.
I didn't even never heard ofthe company before and actually
when her and Mindy were talkingabout it, I thought they were
talking about a literal dish.
I thought there was a dishcalled La Crusette and then come
to find out it's this whole bigthing with pans, luxury, luxury
(30:23):
pans.
I before yesterday I didn'teven know there was a thing as
luxury pans.
I just thought pans was pans,y'all I know.
But anyway, they sold out ontheir website.
They sold out on their website.
That's, that's, that's thepower of being an influencer.
We have been influenced.
Okay, they sold out.
(30:46):
And also I saw yesterday Ididn't write it down but one of
the designers that she wore andtalked about just had like a
gazillion orders come in becauseof the show, because of the
power of Megan's influence.
Another reason I'm just reallyexcited about a show like that
is to continue to showespecially racist old white
(31:06):
women like y'all.
We do not give a fuck abouty'all.
Hatefulness, y'all little pettyass, silly shit that y'all
always go on and on about, wedon't care.
We understand that y'all arebroken people and that you've
been broken by adhering to asystem that keeps black women
underneath you for the sake ofyour own power and ego, that you
(31:30):
have willingly participated inkeeping black women beneath you.
For all of your life you havesided with white male patriarchy
and so now you have to get be akeyboard warrior and go off on
Meghan Markle, meghan Duchess ofSussex, because of your own
little frail ass insecurities.
(31:52):
And we don't give a fuck.
Keep, keep typing, keepfreaking out.
Keep freaking out because weknow you're just literally
insignificant, jealous losers.
Yeah, it's kind of sad to see.
(32:15):
We feel sorry for you.
We feel sorry for you.
We see how hateful and terribleyou are on these internet
streets and we feel sorry foryou because you're cursed.
You're cursed and we know thatyou will never have what Megan
(32:37):
has beauty, money and the princein her castle.
Sorry bitches, sorry.
I know when I look at just therandom hate that she gets, which
is in some ways kind of like Isaid before, like how I can
relate, being a light-skinnedblack person, you get a
(32:58):
different kind of hate thandarker skinned black people get,
which I've talked with a lot ofmy friends who are darker than
me, and we have talked about thedifferent kinds of racism.
There is like, if it's onething white people gonna do,
they gonna be creative, thenthey bring different kinds of
racism for different kind ofenvironments and different kind
of black people, mostly becauseyou know they, they know how to
(33:20):
use colorism and use it againstus.
But because of colorism youhave different experiences with
white people.
And one thing that I can see,that's so obvious to me, is how
white people, as a light skinnedblack person, how they will try
to get away with a subtle, asubtle kind of racism.
They will try to get away withit.
(33:41):
But you can see that.
You can see that it's obviousmisogynoir.
Misogynoir is the hatred notjust of women but black women.
It's a double whammy that blackwomen have.
We aren't just victims ofmisogyny, we're victims of
misogyny plus racial hatred.
(34:04):
That knocks us lower down thetotem pole.
It's not just someone drivingby and yelling out bitch, it's
the double pain of somebodydriving by and yelling out bitch
.
It's a deeper pain.
It's the knife being druggingand drugging, and drugging and
(34:26):
drugging.
And I think just looking at thereviews, like doing some
research for this episode,looking at the reviews, looking
at what people had to say and mejust being like this is so
obvious.
They're trying to be subtleabout their racism or they'll be
like no, it's not about race, Ijust the show's unrelatable.
The world is falling apart, ohmy god.
And she's talking about la crlike no, it's not about race, I
just the show's unrelatable.
The world is falling apart, ohmy god.
And she's talking about lacrosse and it's like no bitch, I
(34:49):
get it.
I'm, I'm sorry.
I can see it.
I can see your race.
I can see that this is aboutrace.
I can absolutely see and I knowthat because this is a world
that I have had to learn tosurvive, survive you in.
As a light-skinned black person, I've had to survive you, okay,
so I can see it in the same way.
(35:11):
Many, many, many, many, many,many millions and millions and
millions of women was trying towarn the nation, the world,
everybody, before Trump's firstelection.
This man is dangerous, he'sdangerous.
This is before all sorts ofstuff came out.
This man is dangerous, like wecan just feel it, because we've
had to, we've had to learn howto survive in a world that
(35:33):
prioritizes men and their safetyand what they want, what they
value.
And so we know more than menabout how to exist in a world
full of men, and black peopleknow more than white people
about how to exist in a worldfull of men and black people
know more than white peopleabout how to exist in a world
full of white people.
So we know when white people ison a racist shit and maybe they
don't even know, or they don'tknow how they're doing it, or
(35:55):
they do know and they don't givea fuck.
Either way, we know and it'sobvious to me, like what Megan
has experienced over and overand over it's just, they just
hate her because she's a blackwoman who married the white
prince.
And just looking at all thesecomments to see how consumed
they are with it, and again, Isometimes not not usually, but
(36:16):
sometimes feel a little bad whenyou see someone consumed by
hatred.
Sometimes you, just, you dofeel a little bad for them.
Like, wow, it must suck to beyou, it really must suck to be
you, to be filled with that muchdisdain and hatred and don't
even know why.
Like damn, it must really suckto be a racist white person to
(36:41):
have that much hate in yourheart.
So what I'm taking from WithLove, megan, is girl, just live
your best life.
It's a reminder to me.
I hope it's a reminder to allof y'all to really live your
best life.
And living your best life is notnecessarily being rich, by the
way, and necessarily marrying aprince of England.
Living your best life really isfiguring out who you are and
(37:03):
what brings you joy and goingand doing that thing.
Going and doing that thing andenjoying the process and
enjoying the, the, the evolutionthat you go on as you try to
learn and push into that.
And I think a lot of thathonestly honestly is creativity.
I think what a lot of.
(37:23):
If you can look at a lot ofrich people, what they do when
they get time to just live theirbest life because they have
money, they have parentssupporting them, whatever.
A lot of times people they gopursue creative shit, they go on
a creative quest.
That's what people do when theyhave time, because that's who
we are, who we're made to be ashumans, that's who God made us.
But anyway, and I feel like whatshe has done is tried to figure
(37:45):
out like how can I be ascreative as possible.
In the mundane.
She says that over and overagain the show like how can you
just elevate something?
You know, like just takesomething and just elevate it.
You know she kept saying that.
But I think you know, when Ithink about that, for me, like
I'm a writer who hasn't writtenin a while, honestly, and I was
kind of convicted about thatthis morning Again, I keep
(38:06):
feeling really convicted, likeGrace, why are you a writer who
doesn't write?
Why?
But that's the reason why Imake YouTube videos and why I do
this podcast because it does,it does, it is a it does scratch
a very particular creative itchin me and I'm also someone who
is a speaker and I love to teachand train and entertain in some
(38:28):
way.
And I don't know how to do thatyet, the best way.
I'm still trying to figure thatout.
But I'm going to damn sureenjoy the process.
I'm damn sure going to just bewho I am, no matter what people
say, no matter what the haterssay about me.
Fuck them, haters, like I'mgonna do me.
So, yeah, I just hope thisencourages you to do you.
I hope this really, reallyencourages you.
What we can learn from Megan isthat there's so much resilience
(38:53):
and strength in the blackcommunity, like black women are.
We are just such a beautiful Ihate to say I just I hate in
some ways to say the wordresilient and even more to say
the word strong, because Ireally want to let the strong
black woman trope die.
But we are, though.
We are really strong and Idon't want us to have that.
I don't want us to feel like wehave to be strong, but at the
(39:14):
same time, it's factual that weare and really amazing.
And the fact that Megan wentthrough the kind of torrential
mental torture that she wentthrough with the British press
and just the whole thing withwith very little protection,
which, if you haven't watchedthe documentary Harry and Megan,
(39:34):
you want to know what I'mtalking about specifically.
You should watch it.
It's still up on Netflix and itwas really good.
It was really entertaining.
You know the fact that she hasagain I've said this so many
times when a person has gonethrough a lot of evil and they
do not let that evil consumethem, but rather they become a
more healthy, more evolvedperson who continues to
contribute to society in abeautiful way.
(39:58):
That is a testimony.
It's a testament to the beautyand resilience of black women
and just in general, and that issomething that I try to live by
.
I do not wish to be consumed inany way with the evil that was
done to me, and so I'm alwaysgoing to lean into how can I
give back to the world in a waythat makes sense to me.
(40:19):
So, anyway, y'all, let me quityapping.
Thank you for watching today'sepisode.
I appreciate you being here.
You could be anywhere, butyou're with me, so I appreciate
it.
If you haven't yet, pleaseleave me a review on Apple
podcast.
I'm trying to grow this podcastAgain.
This is my creative pursuit.
I don't have $100 million dealfrom Netflix.
I don't have no deal fromnobody.
(40:40):
So please support my podcast byleaving me a review on Apple.
You know following andsubscribing on YouTube.
I'm also setting up a sub stackright now so I'll have some
secret content for just podcastfollowers that you can join in.
It's going to be only be $5 amonth.
It's going to be the survivingand thriving newsletter, because
(41:00):
I don't want to just survive,you know, I want to also thrive,
and it's going to cover someareas which I will get into more
next week.
But thank you so much for beinghere and I appreciate you so
much.
Don't forget you are a lovedass woman.
You're a bomb ass woman, you'reresilient ass woman and you are
capable of creating the lifethat you deserve.
Absolutely.
That's what we gonna do.
Despite all of the hell that isbrewing around us right now, we
(41:25):
can still focus on the littlethings in life that make us
happy, like Megan said.
So, like Megan would do, I'mgonna take some little fake um
edible flowers and sprinkle iton this episode.
Bye, y'all.
queasy and exhausting .
New frontiers andunrelatability.
A lifestyle show that smug,syrupy endurance watch that you
would rather fry your eyeballsout than sit through, etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Those are some of the reviewsfor With Love Megan.
I read some other stuff onTikTok yesterday.
I can't even find it, but itwas just people being people.
(00:22):
We know how the internet is ingeneral, but some of the stuff
that people were saying it'slike you literally have nothing
that you're actually giving.
You just don't like her.
You don't like her becauseshe's Black.
Like, please just acknowledgeit.
You're just racist.
I hate to see it.
(00:43):
I hate to see it.
I literally hate to see it.
I hate to see it.
I literally hate to see it.
Start this episode by saying Ido think there are things we can
learn from Megan and also Ikind of relate to Megan in a few
ways.
You know there's a lot of waysI can't relate to Megan, as we
(01:07):
all know, but like there aresome ways that I kind of do, and
one of them is we are bothlight skin, biracial,
conventionally pretty women andsome of the ways that she's been
attacked in the press and themedia over this whole span of
whatever ever since becameMeghan Markle, became a
household name.
Some of the ways that she hasexperienced racism has been very
(01:31):
similar to some of the waysthat I've experienced racism as
a light skin, conventionallypretty woman of color.
Now it's that's really whereall of it ends, because beyond
that, me and her have had verydifferent lives.
She has a black mother and awhite father.
I had a white Italian motherand a black father and she grew
up in California.
I grew up in Detroit.
(01:51):
I'm really not even honestlytrying to compare myself to her
all that much.
I'm just saying like there areways that I've experienced
racism that have felt oddlysimilar and so, as soon as she
got in the news, started datingHarry and it became a big thing.
I was just like ain't thisabout a bitch?
Ain't this about a bitch?
Now, first, before we start thisepisode, let me tell y'all that
(02:12):
, in the spirit of Megan, I'mwearing a button down jean shirt
, which I never wear.
This is not my style.
I'm wearing nude nails and, youknow, ever so whimsical jewelry
, just in the spirit ofchanneling Megan.
I don't even usually wear myhair straight, but I just
started wearing it.
By the way, this is not an 18inch bust down y'all.
This is my real hair.
Okay, this is my real hair, outhere in these streets, just
(02:34):
thriving and long, and I didthis myself to the cut, the
color, the straightening, thecurls, y'all.
How did I get so talented?
I'm'm just kidding.
The truth is like I usuallywear my hair natural and it's
big and it's curly and I do alot of um, protective styles.
But I just thought, you know,I'm gonna continue to channel
Megan today with the look evenyou know.
You know she always the sistergirl always got her cuffs rolled
(02:57):
up.
So I have my cuffs rolled up.
By the way, if you're, ifyou're not, if you're just
listening to this, you can see,but on the cover I'm sure you
can see my shirt.
Anyway, that's my little homageto Megan before we get going.
So we're going to talk aboutWith Love Megan and I think,
what there is to learn from her,because I think there are
things, lots of things to learn,even from our parasocial
relationship with her.
(03:23):
This past week I watched WithLove Megan on Netflix, which is
her kind of, you know, cookinglifestyle show.
You know, I thought it was verywhimsical and very lighthearted
and very cute.
I thought it was sweet.
I was very inspired by the kindof joy that it's very obvious
that she gets from cooking forother people.
I think she even says in theshow at one point like this is
my love language cooking forother people, seeing them happy,
seeing them love my food andenjoy my food, which I think is
(03:45):
just the gift of hospitality.
It's very obvious that she hasthe gift of hospitality and as
someone who does not have thatgift it's not innate in me, but
I have one of my very bestfriends has the gift of
hospitality and I've seen upclose and personal how much
those people they love lovingyou with their food.
They love it and they lovewatching you love it and I could
(04:05):
see that in her and I lovedthat about the show.
I love that it came out that shehas just a childlike joy to the
kind of things that she wasdoing, like getting the honey
from the bees and putting thelittle flowers on the.
Everything really, the donutsand the eggs and everything had
an edible flower on it which Ihadn't even heard of, and just
(04:25):
like the homemaking aspect of it.
I'm someone who did not grow upwith a mom who celebrated that
in any way or taught me anythingabout homemaking.
I don't.
I still don't really know a lotabout homemaking.
I kind of aspire to, but itfeels still really big and
overwhelming to me.
I just I learned a lot aboutjust just from watching the show
(04:46):
.
I feel like I learned a lot.
Actually, I made her one potpasta the second day after I
watched the first episode whereshe makes it, and it was so good
.
I added bacon in mine, but itwas still so so good.
And my son, who usually doesn'tlike pasta, was just like oh,
this is actually.
This is actually pretty damngood.
To address some of thecomplaints that people have
(05:06):
about its unrelatability Okay,y'all, here's the thing.
Is her lifestyle out of touchfor most of us, for 98% of the
of the country?
Yeah, it is, it's out of touch.
You know she's got a wholegarden, a whole and not just a
garden.
But like, everything that youcould ever grow it seems like on
(05:27):
the planet is in that garden.
That was the thing I was justlike do you really like have
access to every single foodgroup growing in your backyard,
like all year?
Like, I know it was a set, Iknow the house was a set, but I
wasn't sure if, like, the garden, was her garden at her house or
if it was part of the set, buteither way, yeah, that's out of
(05:47):
touch.
Even honestly, just being a stayat home mom and being home and
available and accessible to yourkids all day and not having to
go to work is out of touch formost of us.
I think being able to makehundreds of millions of dollars
just exploring your creativityis out of touch.
Yes, I can acknowledge that,because I believe that her and
(06:09):
Harry signed $100 million dealto produce lots of different
shows for Netflix, including thefirst one, harry and Meghan,
the documentary, and then this,this one, and then, I think, the
podcast.
I don't actually I don't knowif that's part of it, but either
way, the whole thing is alifestyle that a lot of us
aren't privy to.
But I think for those of us whoaren't haters and assholes, we
(06:32):
can acknowledge yeah, that's notmy life and I can still be
happy for her that she's livingthat life and I can still learn
from her and I can still enjoythe whole experience of getting
to watch it.
It also feels a lot sweeter tome to be able to watch it
knowing that she just came outof the most racist empire that's
(06:55):
ever existed in known historyto man.
Literally she came out of the,the, the british royal family
that is part of colonizing theentire planet literally the most
damaging empire the world hasever seen.
And y'all gonna tell me it'snot cool for her to sit up and
(07:19):
make some donuts and sprinklesand cinnamon rolls and enjoy
herself after she just escapedthe fuckery that is the British
royal family Like I'm just happythat she's not in an
environment where everything isso racist and so extreme.
(07:40):
They felt like they had to fleeback to America, leaving their
royal duties and all that otherstuff.
That's so ingrained that Idon't really still fully
understand as an American.
But they left all of thatbecause it was so bad.
The racism was so acute and wecan see from the Harry and
Meghan documentary it was themost like severe kind of racism,
(08:02):
the most kidnapping threats,the most death threats, the most
anything that some of the youknow, some of the people in the
Royal Guard or whatever the lawenforcement, whatever they got
over there said it was the worstthey had ever seen.
And that includes PrincessDiana, who was literally like
unalived by all of the madnesssurrounding the press.
(08:24):
And she left that and is nowmaking heart shaped pancakes for
her children.
Like I'm happy for her.
Who would not be happy forsomeone to leave trauma and then
find their way creatively andmake money doing it?
Hell, yeah, I also feel like asa mom, I can just celebrate
(08:49):
that she's a creativestay-at-home mom living her best
life with her kids, even if itjust stopped there, and also
that that's possible in 2025,when everything else is going to
hell in a handbasket.
Like I'm happy that there arepeople out there who get to have
an existence, particularly ablack woman that many other
(09:09):
black women have not been privyto before.
And I know that the reason whya that white women can't stand
(09:29):
her is because they can't be her.
They will never be here.
They'll never be married totheir prince.
They'll never be married to awhite, redheaded prince who
governs.
I know it's not governed, butyou know.
(09:50):
You know I don't understandroyal family dynamics, but who's
an important prince?
Okay, across the sea.
They know they'll never be hereand they're really just jealous
, bitter, hating ass.
Karens.
It's insane.
After I watched the documentaryand saw like the kind of trauma
that she was experiencing,particularly race related trauma
(10:12):
.
I was.
It was kind of shocking.
I'm so glad they left and it'svery sad to me that I've seen a
lot of people label her as anarcissist for wanting to leave
that kind, for wanting to leavethe royal family.
For you know what they sayforcing Harry to leave it's
(10:35):
that's not what a narcissistdoes.
Yeah, people are very confusedabout that, but I think the
first thing we can learn fromher is a powerful level of
resilience.
And here's the thing, here'sthe thing which I think is
really important.
Not just resilience, but beingfirmly who you are and kind of
(10:56):
getting your man, getting yourbag, getting who you are and
still moving forward despite thehaters is kind of a flex.
One of the things that Megantalked about, that she got hated
on so much, was that statementthat she made about how that
people never brought up race asmuch as when she, you know,
started dating Harry and joinedthe real family, moved, moved in
all that shit.
That is one way I really haverelated to her and have felt
(11:23):
like I understand you.
I understand you Because, as alight-skinned black person, as a
biracial person we're bothbiracial a lot of times this
really weird dynamic will happenwhere you know I'm just light
enough.
You can look at me and see I'ma sugar cookie.
I'm light, okay, I'm lightskinned.
And growing up I realized thatfor some reason, when I will be
around white people, just in allwhite spaces, they would talk
(11:48):
badly about black people.
And number one, just just sayingit, just outright saying stuff
that was just like this, isinsane that you're saying this
in front of me.
I, when I was younger, I didn'tunderstand it and it the first
time it ever happened was mystepdad and my stepdad's mom
what am I saying?
(12:08):
My stepdad's wife.
And when I say stepdad, thiswas my older siblings, their dad
.
For a little while he was like,yeah, you can hang out with me,
and maybe he was trying to givemy mom a break, so him and my
mom weren't together.
I called him Daddy Dwayne.
So Daddy Dwayne and his wifeSherry were in the car.
I'm just give you a littleexample, but this happened to me
(12:28):
all the time, but it was one ofthe ones I remember so vividly
and we were in the car and wewere leaving.
Oh, I forgot the name of themall.
I forgot the name of the mall.
It was one of the malls thatmostly white people used to go
to.
And Sherry said something likeyeah, it's such a shame that all
these black people are comingto the mall here now.
(12:49):
And Daddy Dwayne said somethinglike yeah, they used to never
come here and now they're hereall the time.
And Sherry is just like, oh,what a shame, what a shame.
Now I'm in the backseat of thecar listening to them.
It's not like they were tryingto hide the conversation.
It's not like it was a big carand it was only the three of us
and the music wasn't on.
That I remember, and I justremember being like what the
fuck, bro?
And I was pretty young.
(13:13):
I don't remember how old I wasat all, but it had to be in the
like seven, eight, nine range.
So I was pretty young and justfeeling like I am black.
Why would you say that in frontof me?
I'm so confused.
But I was young enough andconfused enough.
I didn't say anything, I didn'taddress it at all.
And then, for me, my mom sent meto lots of white spaces.
(13:33):
She was my mom, who was white,was trying to keep me out of
black spaces.
I almost felt like my mom wastrying to protect me from black
spaces and black people as oftenas possible.
When we shopped, we went to thewhite stores, the grocery
stores, you know, the postoffice.
When we left my street, we wasturning right onto Six Mile and
(13:55):
headed towards Redford and thesuburbs, and we were never
turning left and headed towardsthe, the city of Detroit.
Okay, because my mom was likewe're gonna get the, I'm gonna
get you out of here.
If we got to live here, I'mgonna get you out of here.
So she was sending me to awhite church.
I was going to a, you know, awhite little youth group called
Awanas, and then she was puttingme in white schools.
(14:15):
My mom was like you littleyouth group called Awanas, and
then she was putting me in whiteschools.
My mom was like you're notgoing to hear from black people.
If it's up to me, you're notgoing to hear from these black
people.
And the more I was around thesewhite people, the more they just
kept talking about stuff aboutblack people or they'd say
something that it was real sickand demented to.
They would say something badabout black people and then
(14:36):
they'd be like you understand,don't you Grace?
Like they wanted me to join inon bullying other black people
and I was just always like whatis happening here.
So from from, I feel like froma fairly young age, I had to,
maybe unlike Megan, because shegrew up in California Detroit is
very, very racially segregated,so there was just very rarely
(14:59):
spaces where there was a lot ofus in every room, not like where
I live now, which is odd, butwhere I live now like it's more
integrated.
But Detroit is highly segregated, highly segregated as hell.
So when I was growing up, itwas either me and all white
people or me and all blackpeople in rooms and or wherever
I was.
And so I had to decide prettyyoung, and I decided pretty
(15:23):
young like these white peopleare crazy, like y'all are, just,
y'all are horrible.
It was just pretty obvious.
So I put my, drew my line inthe sand pretty young, but it
still kept happening the more Iwas in these white environments
and um, and it was just likewhen I was around black people
(15:44):
growing up in Detroit, somebodywould say here and they're like
well, what are you?
Well, what is you, you know?
And I would be like I'm mixed.
And then I, and then at somepoint I just started saying I'm
black.
I didn't even, I didn't evenfuck with the I'm mixed, because
it felt like then they weregoing to ask more questions and
I just didn't always want toanswer because it was just kind
of like I'm really over thisconversation, like I've had this
(16:06):
conversation like 400 times now, even though I know you're
curious.
So sometimes I just be like I'mblack, which is I say now I
don't even go into it now, noteven because I don't feel like
it's just like I don't haveItalian identity.
I could, I could lie, I couldtry to pretend I don't have no
(16:26):
identity in being a white womanat all.
So I'm black, but anyway.
So when I was around all blackpeople it just didn't seem like
they, like race was talked aboutvery much.
It was a few questions here orthere, the initial what are you?
And then it was like kind ofover with, and then we just went
on to doing what we were doingand it just didn't get brought
up.
So I can kind of understandfrom Megan's point of view, like
(16:49):
growing up where she grew up inLA, that people just some
people, accepted her or justdidn't talk about it a lot.
And then all of a sudden you goto this whole new environment
with all white people and it'slike all they can talk about.
And I relate to that from goingto white schools and stuff.
When it just got brought up somuch.
It just got brought up so much.
(17:11):
Every little thing like, oh youknow, let me touch your hair,
you just it starts to feel likeyou're a circus act.
It's a really bizarre feelingand I felt it on a level that is
, you know, two percent of whatshe felt being thrown into the
national, like global spotlight.
So I wasn't too mad at her,even though her identity is not
(17:35):
as black as mine.
But we've all had different, Imean mixed kids.
Yeah, if it's one thing I'velearned about mixed kids all
over America, we all have reallywildly different experiences.
I don't feel like any of usmixed kids have enough of a
joint experience to be able tosay like, oh yeah, that's what
it is.
Yep, that's what it's like tobe grew up mixed in America.
It's all really, reallydifferent.
As an aside, this one time whenI was working with college
(17:58):
students I did, I led a seminarfor mixed race kids who had
black and something else at abig conference and there was
like 40 students from all overthe country who came to the
seminar.
All of them at least had black,and then everything else.
So everybody looked reallywildly different and it was
beautiful.
It was so beautiful.
We ended up having like a fourhour discussion of what their
(18:18):
experience was being raisedmixed in America and I.
It was very eye opening for mebecause all of us were very
different.
But there was this one woman inparticular who was very
beautiful, very dark skinnedwoman and she was crying and she
looked at me and she was like Ifeel like you're blacker than
me, like she was like I nevergrew up in black spaces, I never
(18:40):
went to, had, you know, livedin a black neighborhood.
She was like I just don't feelblack at all.
I was just looking at her like,well, I don't feel white at all
, even though I'm like lightskin could probably I mean maybe
, I don't know, I'm like lightskin, could probably pay.
I mean I maybe I don't know Icould try to pass.
I've never have, but I couldprobably pass and our
(19:01):
experiences were so wildlydifferent.
And then when I read BarackObama's book Dream of my Father,
dreams for my Father, whateverit's called I, that was the best
memoir.
Okay, I'm on a tangent, buty'all get my point.
Like our experiences are sowildly different and I just
think, as a biracial woman whohas been judged in the past for
(19:22):
how I view my blackness, justyou know, just the regular
shmegular shit that black peopleget, like we just tend to get
complaints from everybody abouteverything and I feel, like the
complaints that she was getting,I was like, oh, it's because
she's light skin and people wantto quantify and qualify her
(19:45):
experience and you really can't,because everybody's is really
different, and even me and her,like I think, if we were to sit
down and have a conversationwhich, megan, I would love if
you're open to I think if me andher had an unmiked, unfilmed
conversation about what it'slike to be mixed in America as
light skin, conventionallypretty women, I really think our
(20:09):
experience would be so vastlydifferent Not talking about when
she was famous before, wasfamous before any of that I
think our experience would bereally, really different.
And it's just so easy forpeople to say like, oh, so,
because she said this, it meansthis, and it's like no, she just
said what she said.
Like all of a sudden she'smarrying this white dude who's a
(20:31):
literal freaking prince.
His mom was the most, maybe oneof the most popular women who's
ever lived, with the mostrecognizable face who's ever
lived and all of a sudden she'son a global platform and she's a
light-skinned, pretty blackgirl.
Like, of course, people aregonna drag her about.
(20:53):
Everything she says it has to dowith race.
I I mean some of the stuff thatI say about race and race over
the years.
The only reason I haven't gotdragged is just because I'm not
on any sort of big scale Period.
I think if more people werelistening, I would get dragged
somehow about something I saidand also y'all, it's damned if
(21:14):
you do, damned if you don't.
If she talked about race moreor her experience being black in
america, I think a lot of blackpeople would come for her.
Like really, um, about whatthat?
About her talking about it toomuch?
White people will come for her.
Oh my god, she's playing therace card.
I think she's.
It does.
She's damned as she do, damnedas she don't.
No matter what about this wholerace issue.
(21:36):
But either way, I do feel likewhat I heard in the documentary
is that was hella traumatic.
That was hella traumatic and Ireally think if they had stayed,
like while other people thinkthat was very narcissistic of
her to drag Harry out ofwhatever Harry has said in
interviews in the past, by theway, that he never liked being
in England, that he wanted toleave Harry out of whatever
(21:57):
Harry has said in interviews inthe past, by the way, that he
never liked being in England,that he wanted to leave.
Harry was ready to get the hellout.
Harry knows they killed hismama and he was ready to go.
And then he's got to watch hiswife being treated appallingly
and y'all expected them to stay.
And then the royal family neversaid hey, I'm sorry you're
enduring this kind of abuse.
The kids are comparing yourchildren to monkeys and y'all
expected them to stay.
(22:19):
It's just kind of wild to me.
But anyway, let's just say theyhad stayed.
I really think it would haveunalived her.
I really think the experiencewould have unalived her or
someone else would have unalivedher.
So, yeah, the fact that theygot the hell out of the hell out
of Dodge and created a new lifefor themselves, and what I saw
in with love Megan, was hergetting back to who she was
(22:40):
before she met him, becausedon't forget y'all.
Before she met him, she had theTIG and her whole lifestyle
blog and she was into cookingand entertaining and fresh
flowers and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
She was.
She was into all of that beforeshe met him.
So this is not out of leftfield, but some people who are
uneducated seem to think it is.
So I'm really glad that theydecided to forge a new path for
(23:01):
themselves and I'm really gladthat she is living in her lane,
living her best life.
I also think it's reallyimportant for us to see black
women just standing strong andjust standing who in who they
are, unapologetically.
If this is what she loves to do, then let her cook.
(23:21):
Let her cook figuratively andliterally.
Another thing meg was doingbefore she met harry was
philanthropic work, and theytalked about that in the
documentary how.
That's one of the things theybonded over, because you know,
princess diana was all intophilanthropic shit too.
She was already like loudly,loudly advocating for gender
(23:42):
equality and societal issues,just justice issues in general
and she had to shut all thatdown when they got engaged and
then got married.
Because she wasn't allowed to.
She had to shut down herlifestyle blog and her instagram
and all of her philanthropicwork had to become quieter.
So it didn't look like she wasliking the publicity, you know.
(24:07):
But they bonded on some of thatphilanthropic shit.
They bonded on her love ofsocial justice and wanting to do
all of that.
So I think what's reallybeautiful about seeing this show
for me was seeing her, not theI mean, I know there's no
philanthropic part of it to cookfor your friends and family,
but seeing her doing what sheloves to do.
(24:29):
That is who she was when Harrymet her and she.
She said that in a recentinterview.
I forgot where I read it, butshe basically said I think Harry
, seeing me come alive again andhave that spark in my eye has
made him love me more.
I forgot how she said it, butbasically, like he's seeing how
happy this all makes me and itmakes him reminded of the woman
(24:49):
he met.
Forget her.
And Harry started the ArchwellFoundation which basically, like
, helps deal with the problem ofonline harassment which shock,
you know, is what sheexperienced and to give voice to
people who feel very overlookedand very silenced, which I
think is a really beautifulthing.
Like it or not, this woman saidI'm gonna do it my way.
(25:12):
She said I'm gonna do it my way.
She said I'm gonna do it my wayand I don't care what y'all
bitches think.
I love that she defied all thetraditional roles that the
british royal family was tryingto hammer down into her.
I love that megan was like fuckthem roles, fuck y'all rules
and roles and all of that, fuckall y'all.
(25:34):
And I love that she isbasically essentially redefined
what it means to be royal, likeyeah, I'm the Duchess of Sussex
bitch and also got a cookingshow and a podcast, and I'm all
here in Montecito, california,having a full ass garden, living
my best life.
Now what y'all got to say?
Oh and, by the way, the showjust got renewed for season two
(25:59):
and I love this.
I love it so much.
I love it for all the haters.
I just I love it.
There was also something in theshow she said at some point.
I forgot who she was talking to, but one of the one of the last
interviews, I think it was whenshe was talking with the woman
who started Tatcha, which I alsothought was very cool.
But she said something like canyou imagine where we're going
(26:20):
to be in 10 years?
And she was like oh, 10 years.
Whatever it is, wherever it is,I have no idea, but it's going
to be amazing.
And I really took from that thatthat was more of her as an
entrepreneur, not so much as aroyal and not even so much maybe
as a wife or a mom, even thoughthat's certainly part of it.
But when she was like, oh, in10 years, and you can just see
(26:43):
her kind of brain calculatingand I was thinking this is what
she's made for, this is reallywhat she wants to do, like it's
obvious from everything she said, from the book, the documentary
.
You know, when you take all ofit, like this woman is a
creative and she's a leader andshe, she wants, she, she doesn't
want to be dimmed, she doesn'twant to be dimmed and becoming
(27:06):
Harry's wife could have dimmedher.
Basically, like William andKate, kate has been completely
dimmed.
We don't know nothing about her, about Kate, except for that
she's William's wife and thatshe is has cancer, which I'm so
sorry to hear, and hopefullyshe's okay.
I don't wish any ill will onany human at all, except for
(27:28):
Trump and Musk and Candace Owens, but other than those three I
don't have no ill will for anyhuman on this planet.
But Kim has been.
Who is she?
What are her interests?
We don't know.
So what I love seeing about allof this, what I loved about with
(27:50):
love Megan, was seeing a womanwho's saying this is who I am
and I'm gonna do what the fuck Iwant to do and I don't care.
I don't care that y'all haveracist shit to say, I don't care
that you think I'm boring orcringy.
Maybe Megan is a nerd.
Maybe she I was really.
When she had the sweater overher shoulders, I was like baby,
(28:12):
what is you doing?
Like I love her style.
I love her style, except forthe sweater over her shoulders.
If you want to talk aboutunrelatable, that was
unrelatable.
Like who the hell is wearingtheir sweater over their
shoulders?
Like that anymore?
Come on, megan.
But other than that, like Ilove that she gave us a glimpse
(28:32):
into a very light-hearted sideof her.
I love that you could see this,the twinkle in her eye when she
would try something you knowthat she made and she loved it.
I love that she gave us ideas,etc.
Etc.
I could go on with all thelittle cutesy stuff, but I loved
it.
I love that with love, megan isalso creating a road, an inroad,
(28:54):
in some way, a new path forblack women in general.
I think anytime that a blackwoman is paving the way with
something like this kind of likeTabitha Brown did, like Tabitha
Brown and all the ways that shehas paved the way for other
black women in herentrepreneurial pursuits, I
think, with Love, megan doesthat for us as well, in a
different way, because, again,her life is different than all
of hers, all of ours.
(29:15):
She is a royalist, that's stillall there, but it still does
not only pave the way, but Ilove that for me as a you know,
as mother of a black daughter,can show her this and be like
look at this black woman wholooks like us.
What she actually does looklike us, like me and my daughter
are both this light skin, wehave the same kind of hair as
(29:37):
Megan, et cetera and say look atthis woman who literally looks
like us, doing something likethis on this scale and loving it
and enjoying it and living inher soft life, luxury, black
girl era, and it's a good thing,baby girl, it's a good thing.
Also, we need to recognizethere's power in her voice, for
example, the Le Creuset, leCreuset, I didn't, I didn't.
(30:00):
I'm so uncultured y'all.
I'm such an uncultured swine.
I didn't, I didn't.
I'm so uncultured y'all.
I'm such an uncultured swine.
I didn't know anything about LaCrusette.
La Crusette, I didn't even knowthat.
I didn't even never heard ofthe company before and actually
when her and Mindy were talkingabout it, I thought they were
talking about a literal dish.
I thought there was a dishcalled La Crusette and then come
to find out it's this whole bigthing with pans, luxury, luxury
(30:23):
pans.
I before yesterday I didn'teven know there was a thing as
luxury pans.
I just thought pans was pans,y'all I know.
But anyway, they sold out ontheir website.
They sold out on their website.
That's, that's, that's thepower of being an influencer.
We have been influenced.
Okay, they sold out.
(30:46):
And also I saw yesterday Ididn't write it down but one of
the designers that she wore andtalked about just had like a
gazillion orders come in becauseof the show, because of the
power of Megan's influence.
Another reason I'm just reallyexcited about a show like that
is to continue to showespecially racist old white
(31:06):
women like y'all.
We do not give a fuck abouty'all.
Hatefulness, y'all little pettyass, silly shit that y'all
always go on and on about, wedon't care.
We understand that y'all arebroken people and that you've
been broken by adhering to asystem that keeps black women
underneath you for the sake ofyour own power and ego, that you
(31:30):
have willingly participated inkeeping black women beneath you.
For all of your life you havesided with white male patriarchy
and so now you have to get be akeyboard warrior and go off on
Meghan Markle, meghan Duchess ofSussex, because of your own
little frail ass insecurities.
(31:52):
And we don't give a fuck.
Keep, keep typing, keepfreaking out.
Keep freaking out because weknow you're just literally
insignificant, jealous losers.
Yeah, it's kind of sad to see.
(32:15):
We feel sorry for you.
We feel sorry for you.
We see how hateful and terribleyou are on these internet
streets and we feel sorry foryou because you're cursed.
You're cursed and we know thatyou will never have what Megan
(32:37):
has beauty, money and the princein her castle.
Sorry bitches, sorry.
I know when I look at just therandom hate that she gets, which
is in some ways kind of like Isaid before, like how I can
relate, being a light-skinnedblack person, you get a
(32:58):
different kind of hate thandarker skinned black people get,
which I've talked with a lot ofmy friends who are darker than
me, and we have talked about thedifferent kinds of racism.
There is like, if it's onething white people gonna do,
they gonna be creative, thenthey bring different kinds of
racism for different kind ofenvironments and different kind
of black people, mostly becauseyou know they, they know how to
(33:20):
use colorism and use it againstus.
But because of colorism youhave different experiences with
white people.
And one thing that I can see,that's so obvious to me, is how
white people, as a light skinnedblack person, how they will try
to get away with a subtle, asubtle kind of racism.
They will try to get away withit.
(33:41):
But you can see that.
You can see that it's obviousmisogynoir.
Misogynoir is the hatred notjust of women but black women.
It's a double whammy that blackwomen have.
We aren't just victims ofmisogyny, we're victims of
misogyny plus racial hatred.
(34:04):
That knocks us lower down thetotem pole.
It's not just someone drivingby and yelling out bitch, it's
the double pain of somebodydriving by and yelling out bitch
.
It's a deeper pain.
It's the knife being druggingand drugging, and drugging and
(34:26):
drugging.
And I think just looking at thereviews, like doing some
research for this episode,looking at the reviews, looking
at what people had to say and mejust being like this is so
obvious.
They're trying to be subtleabout their racism or they'll be
like no, it's not about race, Ijust the show's unrelatable.
The world is falling apart, ohmy god.
And she's talking about la crlike no, it's not about race, I
just the show's unrelatable.
The world is falling apart, ohmy god.
And she's talking about lacrosse and it's like no bitch, I
(34:49):
get it.
I'm, I'm sorry.
I can see it.
I can see your race.
I can see that this is aboutrace.
I can absolutely see and I knowthat because this is a world
that I have had to learn tosurvive, survive you in.
As a light-skinned black person, I've had to survive you, okay,
so I can see it in the same way.
(35:11):
Many, many, many, many, many,many millions and millions and
millions of women was trying towarn the nation, the world,
everybody, before Trump's firstelection.
This man is dangerous, he'sdangerous.
This is before all sorts ofstuff came out.
This man is dangerous, like wecan just feel it, because we've
had to, we've had to learn howto survive in a world that
(35:33):
prioritizes men and their safetyand what they want, what they
value.
And so we know more than menabout how to exist in a world
full of men, and black peopleknow more than white people
about how to exist in a worldfull of men and black people
know more than white peopleabout how to exist in a world
full of white people.
So we know when white people ison a racist shit and maybe they
don't even know, or they don'tknow how they're doing it, or
(35:55):
they do know and they don't givea fuck.
Either way, we know and it'sobvious to me, like what Megan
has experienced over and overand over it's just, they just
hate her because she's a blackwoman who married the white
prince.
And just looking at all thesecomments to see how consumed
they are with it, and again, Isometimes not not usually, but
(36:16):
sometimes feel a little bad whenyou see someone consumed by
hatred.
Sometimes you, just, you dofeel a little bad for them.
Like, wow, it must suck to beyou, it really must suck to be
you, to be filled with that muchdisdain and hatred and don't
even know why.
Like damn, it must really suckto be a racist white person to
(36:41):
have that much hate in yourheart.
So what I'm taking from WithLove, megan, is girl, just live
your best life.
It's a reminder to me.
I hope it's a reminder to allof y'all to really live your
best life.
And living your best life is notnecessarily being rich, by the
way, and necessarily marrying aprince of England.
Living your best life really isfiguring out who you are and
(37:03):
what brings you joy and goingand doing that thing.
Going and doing that thing andenjoying the process and
enjoying the, the, the evolutionthat you go on as you try to
learn and push into that.
And I think a lot of thathonestly honestly is creativity.
I think what a lot of.
(37:23):
If you can look at a lot ofrich people, what they do when
they get time to just live theirbest life because they have
money, they have parentssupporting them, whatever.
A lot of times people they gopursue creative shit, they go on
a creative quest.
That's what people do when theyhave time, because that's who
we are, who we're made to be ashumans, that's who God made us.
But anyway, and I feel like whatshe has done is tried to figure
(37:45):
out like how can I be ascreative as possible.
In the mundane.
She says that over and overagain the show like how can you
just elevate something?
You know, like just takesomething and just elevate it.
You know she kept saying that.
But I think you know, when Ithink about that, for me, like
I'm a writer who hasn't writtenin a while, honestly, and I was
kind of convicted about thatthis morning Again, I keep
(38:06):
feeling really convicted, likeGrace, why are you a writer who
doesn't write?
Why?
But that's the reason why Imake YouTube videos and why I do
this podcast because it does,it does, it is a it does scratch
a very particular creative itchin me and I'm also someone who
is a speaker and I love to teachand train and entertain in some
(38:28):
way.
And I don't know how to do thatyet, the best way.
I'm still trying to figure thatout.
But I'm going to damn sureenjoy the process.
I'm damn sure going to just bewho I am, no matter what people
say, no matter what the haterssay about me.
Fuck them, haters, like I'mgonna do me.
So, yeah, I just hope thisencourages you to do you.
I hope this really, reallyencourages you.
What we can learn from Megan isthat there's so much resilience
(38:53):
and strength in the blackcommunity, like black women are.
We are just such a beautiful Ihate to say I just I hate in
some ways to say the wordresilient and even more to say
the word strong, because Ireally want to let the strong
black woman trope die.
But we are, though.
We are really strong and Idon't want us to have that.
I don't want us to feel like wehave to be strong, but at the
(39:14):
same time, it's factual that weare and really amazing.
And the fact that Megan wentthrough the kind of torrential
mental torture that she wentthrough with the British press
and just the whole thing withwith very little protection,
which, if you haven't watchedthe documentary Harry and Megan,
(39:34):
you want to know what I'mtalking about specifically.
You should watch it.
It's still up on Netflix and itwas really good.
It was really entertaining.
You know the fact that she hasagain I've said this so many
times when a person has gonethrough a lot of evil and they
do not let that evil consumethem, but rather they become a
more healthy, more evolvedperson who continues to
contribute to society in abeautiful way.
(39:58):
That is a testimony.
It's a testament to the beautyand resilience of black women
and just in general, and that issomething that I try to live by
.
I do not wish to be consumed inany way with the evil that was
done to me, and so I'm alwaysgoing to lean into how can I
give back to the world in a waythat makes sense to me.
(40:19):
So, anyway, y'all, let me quityapping.
Thank you for watching today'sepisode.
I appreciate you being here.
You could be anywhere, butyou're with me, so I appreciate
it.
If you haven't yet, pleaseleave me a review on Apple
podcast.
I'm trying to grow this podcastAgain.
This is my creative pursuit.
I don't have $100 million dealfrom Netflix.
I don't have no deal fromnobody.
(40:40):
So please support my podcast byleaving me a review on Apple.
You know following andsubscribing on YouTube.
I'm also setting up a sub stackright now so I'll have some
secret content for just podcastfollowers that you can join in.
It's going to be only be $5 amonth.
It's going to be the survivingand thriving newsletter, because
(41:00):
I don't want to just survive,you know, I want to also thrive,
and it's going to cover someareas which I will get into more
next week.
But thank you so much for beinghere and I appreciate you so
much.
Don't forget you are a lovedass woman.
You're a bomb ass woman, you'reresilient ass woman and you are
capable of creating the lifethat you deserve.
Absolutely.
That's what we gonna do.
Despite all of the hell that isbrewing around us right now, we
(41:25):
can still focus on the littlethings in life that make us
happy, like Megan said.
So, like Megan would do, I'mgonna take some little fake um
edible flowers and sprinkle iton this episode.
Bye, y'all.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.