Ep 20: Is Meghan Markle Really a Narcissist?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
have y'all heard this endless chatter about megan
markle being a narcissist?
What on earth?
I must admit, being on theright side of the argument, that
I had no idea until I did mylast episode about the review of
with love megan and I was justtrying to do like a little bit
of research and just saw liketons and tons and tons of stuff

(00:25):
about Megan being a narcissist,and I had never really tapped in
or tuned into any of thatbefore, and then, once I did, my
whole YouTube feed got floodedwith anti-Megan, anti-black,
very misogynoir chatter aboutwhether or not she's a
narcissist.
Here's the thing, y'all.
Here is the motherfucking thing.
I have never been really foreveryone saying that the word

(00:49):
narcissism is being overused orthat it's become too commodified
or whatever, because I myselfam a victim of very severe
narcissistic abuse, and so whenpeople started saying like, oh,
I wish that word had never cameup, people are overusing it,
they're overusing trauma bonding, they're overusing love bombing
and all the things associatedwith narcissistic abuse, and I
was just like, no, they're not.

(01:10):
There are real people out therelike myself who really
struggled with these things andwho really suffered at the hands
of narcissists and people withnarcissistic personality
disorder.
And so I was just like we needto be able to talk about this.
We need to be able to no, Inever would say this, but like
throw the word around is whatpeople were saying.
And I was saying like no, no,no, let's not throw it around,
but let's understand.
This is a very real thing, veryreal people are suffering and

(01:33):
have suffered from narcissisticabuse.
But when I saw all of thisstuff about Megan being a
narcissist, I was like goodLordy, we got to talk about it.
And so I went down the YouTuberabbit hole because I was trying
to understand the people whoare calling Megan a narcissist.
I was like I just I want tounderstand where they're coming

(01:54):
from and I want to understandwhy they're saying this.
As someone who has studiednarcissistic abuse, who's read
the books about narcissisticabuse, including the books not
just how to survive a narcissist, but the ones that are just to
help you understand whonarcissists are and how they are
and the different types ofnarcissism.
I've read books about traumabonding, how to escape the

(02:18):
trauma bonds.
I've read books well, not aboutlove bombing specifically, but
books that included how to getthrough the love bombing stage,
et cetera, et cetera.
I know what I'm talking aboutand I know something about
dealing with people who havenarcissistic personality
disorder.
So I'm like, okay, all thesepeople are armchair diagnosing
and I'm talking about millionsand millions of people.

(02:39):
The anti-Megan rhetoric is somuch bigger than I thought or
ever knew and I understood thatwhen I saw some of the comments.
You can look at some of thecomments on my last YouTube
channel podcast episode post andyou can see the comments are
just like oh my god, she's anarcissist.
Don't buy into this, don't lether race bait you.
And I'm like, baby, did you,did you see or listen to the

(03:01):
episode?
Nobody, nobody is race baitinga black American woman.
Like sometimes I just feel likethe differences between Meghan
and Harry.
If they have done nothing else,they have highlighted the
differences between Americansand Europeans, because I
literally can't believe aEuropean would fix their lips to
say don't let a black Americanwoman race bait another black

(03:22):
American woman.
It's just like what the fuckare you talking about?
Like what the actual fuck areyou talking about, bro?
So, anyway, I saw thesecomments and I'm like these
people are just literally out oftheir minds.
But let me just see.
Let me just see what they'retalking about.
So I went on the YouTube rebel.
Like I said, I'm like trying tofigure out why do they think
she's a narcissist.
So I wrote down the top.

(03:43):
Let me see how many do I have.
I wrote down like the top fiveor six or so reasons that they
think she's a narcissist.
And it's ridiculous.
I'm going to go into it.
It's it's utterly ridiculous,like it's completely conjecture,
it's complete and utterconjecture, like it's a serious
thing to.
If you knew, if you had been avictim of narcissistic abuse

(04:05):
yourself, you would know howserious a thing it is to accuse
someone of narcissisticpersonality disorder.
And I realized, even after whatI went through, that it was
irresponsible of me to accuse myex-husband of narcissistic
personality disorder, becauseit's a very serious personality
disorder and I feel like ifanyone has proof, has proof that

(04:28):
they were indeed married tosomeone who has narcissistic
personality disorder, it's me.
But I can't even responsiblythrow that word around to say
that, to say that that man actedvery narcissistic to me and I
endured a level of narcissisticabuse that was is considered
severe, but I would still notsay that.
And so for people on theircouches reading the British

(04:51):
press and reading random stufffrom random people, from TMZ and
Daily One and the Telegraph andwhatever else bullshit, and
them calling Megan this isreally actually comical to me
like y'all are fucking crazy,just so you know, like y'all who
think Megan is a narcissist arereally actually crazy.

(05:14):
And what I find is that a lotof times it's projection, like I
think you're projecting,especially when they give their
reasons why they think she is.
I'm like you realize thatyou're projecting, right,
because you literally don't haveproof of Okay anyway.
So this episode is a littledifferent from the norm, again,
because I kind of wanted to hopon this, like while we're

(05:36):
talking about it, while it's the, because you know, you that
bitch when you cause all thatconversation, right, like she
just launched her podcast, hernew podcastessions of a female
ceo I think it's called andshe's causing a lot of
conversation.
And this is the number onething I wanted to address,
especially especially as asurvivor of narcissistic abuse

(05:56):
myself.
Now I have, if you want to know,a six-part series on my youtube
channel that you can watch.
I created it very closely toescaping narcissistic abuse and
if I could do it again, if I hadthe wherewithal, I would refilm
that whole six-part seriesbecause I filmed it so close to

(06:17):
it happening that I feel like Idid not have enough hindsight.
I didn't have hindsight, I wasliterally just escaping it and I
was also still in the middle oflike post separation, post
divorce abuse.
And also when I filmed that, Iwas still being like secondarily
loved by him.
He was trying to hover and hewas trying to get me back and I
really wasn't even thoroughlythrough the trauma bonds of what

(06:40):
I went through with him forprobably a couple years out from
our divorce, which is prettynormal and actually pretty good
all things considered.
Probably two or three years outfrom our divorce is when I
really broke free from thetrauma bond.
So if I could do that all overagain, I well I might.
I might do it all over again atsome point.
But all that to say, it stilldoes detail me as a survivor of

(07:00):
narcissistic abuse.
So if you're curious, that isup on my YouTube channel Out
here Trying to Survive.
Additionally, after a littlewhile I decided that I wanted to
become a coach to help otherwomen who are going through
narcissistic abuse.
Narc abuse was becoming kind ofbig on TikTok.
There was a whole side ofTikTok called Narc Talk
N-A-R-C-T-O-K, where a lot ofnarcissistic survivors were

(07:23):
finally learning a lot aboutnarcissism and what they went
through and what they survived.
And they started talking aboutit and it just kind of blew up
on TikTok and so I was like Iwant to help other women who've
been through this, because itwas the most confusing,
debilitating, painful,dehumanizing, mentally torturous
abuse I've ever endured.
And I am a child survivor ofpretty severe check sexual abuse

(07:45):
, neglect, poverty.
My ACE score is a 10.
The indicator of childhoodtrauma is a 10, which is the
highest number you can get.
I've been through shit andnothing rivaled what I went
through with beingnarcissistically abused.
It was almost otherworldly,like I don't have words for the
kind of pain.
I didn't think I would survive.
I certainly didn't think Iwould be on the other side and I

(08:07):
am.
So I was like I'm going to helpother women Because why not?
I need to.
I actually felt a moralobligation to help other women.
So I launched a coachingbusiness to help women who've
been through narcissistic abusesurvive and I did that for a
year.
I was enjoying it somewhat.
It was triggering me.
It was triggering me real bad,like real bad, because narc

(08:29):
abuse is so ugly and it producesso much often like levels of
helplessness, and I'm a real,real, real bad empathizer, which
means I'm real, real good atempathy, or maybe I'm really bad
at empathy.
I have a lot of empathy that isvery hard for me to manage, and

(08:50):
so I had to stop because it wastoo triggering, but it gave me
a window into a lot of women'ssouls about what it's like to
survive narcissism.
So I just want you to know I'mnot a random podcaster on here
talking about something that Ihave no experience in, something
I've never studied or thoughtabout or worked with like I have
.
In addition, I should also say,additionally, I had my own
therapist throughout this wholetime.

(09:10):
I had probably, yeah, onetherapist that I used up until
we were divorced, and then aseparate one on a separate
insurance plan after we gotdivorced, and so I've done my
own work, and then I didadditional work to try to
understand and help other womenwho are going through things
sometimes that were more severe,in different ways.
One thing I learned is that allnarcissists are very, very

(09:32):
different in how they present,and they're also eerily similar.
So that's what we're gonna talkabout today.
If you're new here.
My name is Grace Sandra.
I'm a writer, a podcaster, ayoutuber, an author, an activist
, a mom and someone who caresdeeply about the lives of black
and brown women of color, andthis podcast is a warm hug of
solidarity from me to you, forpeople not only trying to out

(09:54):
here, trying to survive, but tothrive.
Welcome, okay, y'all.
So let's just get right into it.
Uh, I just at some point I hadto stop because, um, I was, I
was in the bathtub.
If you know me, you know I love, I love taking me a bath.

(10:15):
Okay, I will, I will dowhatever I can with my life
while I'm in the bathtub.
So I'm like, let me do theresearch while I'm taking a bath
.
So I'm in the bathtub watchingYouTube videos about these
people who think Megan's anarcissist.
So I'm like a bath.
So I'm in the bathtub watchingYouTube videos about these
people who think Megan's anarcissist.
I'm like, let me just try toget a handle on it.
So these are the things that Icould foresee that they were
saying.
One is she gouged him out of theUK.
That theme came up over andover and over again.

(10:37):
Another one that she loved onhim.
Another popular argument wasthat she manipulated him.
Another popular argument isthat she can't take criticism,
and another popular argument isher love for attention.
So this was that's just a sumup of the main reasons, because
I was like, what are they reallytrying to say?

(10:58):
Like, what did she do?
I want to know what she did.
That these people think she'san actual narcissist.
Again, I want to know what shedid.
That these people think she'san actual narcissist.
Again, a very serious claim.
So let's just go point by pointand let me again say I said in
the first episode I am anAmerican, I'm a Black American
and I did not grow up learningabout the royal family.

(11:20):
You know, for those of you, forthose of you Europeans, you
cares, I don't even know whatthe fuck to call y'all.
That's how little Americans aretaught about y'all.
We don't grow up to revere thequeen.
I do remember at some pointwhen I was little, thinking that
William was kind of cute.
He might have been like 15, Idon't even know, he was like 15
or 16.
I was like, oh, he's kind ofcute, the little prince, and

(11:41):
that's really all I knew.
And and it's funny because Ihave heard people say and I've
watched people say so in thesecomments and things over and
over again, how they're so madat Meghan that it proves her
narcissism so much because shesaid sometime that she didn't
really know who Harry was whenshe met him or whatever.
And the truth is I didn'treally know who Harry was either

(12:03):
.
Everything that we ever heard,everything I ever heard, which
was very little, was aboutWilliam, because he was next.
That's all we heard.
Like the fact that his book wascalled Spare is kind of
indicative of the way, at leastin America, he's treated.
Because I didn't know about him.
And then at some point I doremember I had a vague memory of

(12:26):
like seeing a cover one timeabout Harry being a party animal
.
Like I had like have this vaguememory of being in a grocery
store, looking at the cover,like, and it probably said, like
Prince William's little brotheris a party animal or something
like that.
It didn't even like directlysay his name.
I didn't really know his name.
So the fact that she said thatdoes not strike me as odd.

(12:48):
I'm like okay, she grew up as abiracial black little girl in
America.
Like Harry is not at the top ofour minds, baby.
Okay, he, he's not.
He's not great.
He was not gracing every coverever.
And if he was, I was paying noattention.
As a little kid who grew up inDetroit, even when I was grown,
I wasn't thinking about Harry.

(13:09):
Nobody was thinking about Harry.
It's not proof of narcissism,and also people are saying
that's a proof of her being aliar.
Why?
Why lie about something likethat if it's one thing you know
about Americans?
We are selfish, we areself-centered, we are internally
focused.
We act like we're the onlycountry that ever exists.

(13:30):
You know, fyi, I don't reallylike America.
I think we're a terriblecountry.
I think we're literally one ofthe most terrible countries on
the planet.
And ask anybody who knows me Iswear to God, I've thought this
way since I was like 12.
This is not something that'sjust come up.
Since the orange orangutandemon got elected.
I've thought this for like 30years.

(13:51):
Okay, I've always hated America.
I'm not proud to be an American, but one thing I know about us
is we gonna be selfish andinternal, and so the fact that
Americans are not raised to knowanything about y'all, even
though we're the reason whywe're y'all are the reason why
we're here.
We don't know about y'all.
We don't know about y'all, andain't nobody fucking talking

(14:11):
about Harry?
I barely know about William.
People are saying that shegouged him out of the UK, that
she indeed manipulated him toleave the royal family and to
leave his senior royal duties.
Y'all act like Harry wanted tobe there, he has said.
I literally watched aninterview the other day where he

(14:32):
said he could not wait to leave.
He wanted to leave.
That's part of the reason whyhe went into the military
because he wanted to leave.
He said I wanted to be ofservice, I wanted to do
philanthropic stuff.
I wanted to leave, I wanted toget out of here.
It's not exactly comfortablehere.
Y'all are forgetting that thislittle boy was hounded for his
whole life, living with a motherwho was literally murdered by

(14:55):
the people who were hounding himfor his whole life.
He's not the heir, he's thespare.
In addition to that, it's notexactly a happy existence as one
can imagine, and he says it inthe documentary they did for
Netflix.
He said or maybe it was in theinterview he did with Oprah,
because I watched a few of them.
But he said I remember himsaying like I realized that my

(15:17):
dad was trapped in this, mygrandma was trapped in this, my
brother was trapped in this, butI didn't have to be.
Now let's just say y'all, gasp,take him at his word.
If you take him at his word, hedidn't want to be there.
He didn't want to be trapped inthe system.

(15:38):
He didn't want to be a victimof the system where he literally
couldn't even serve in themilitary, couldn't even go on
missions because they wereworrying about protecting him or
him being a target.
Ask me if that's a happyexistence, like I could imagine,
for him as the spare.
He wrote a whole ass bookcalling himself the spare.
There is no way that Megan,even if she was a narcissist,

(16:00):
could convince him to write anentire book.
That book was thick as hellabout being a spare.
Without all of that being true,I just I can't even believe
that people would think thatMegan would have the power and
influence to make this man leavesomething for him that it was
proven to be really, reallypainful and dysfunctional and

(16:23):
I've heard other UK people, I'veheard y'all say it before, like
how dysfunctional and weird itis the first time I ever heard
somebody say it.
That I took recollect was fromthe movie Love Actually, when um
, the little white boy who'sgoing to Wisconsin.
And he says, over there, I'mgonna be like Prince Harry
without the weird family.
Or maybe he says, princeWilliam, yeah, he says over

(16:44):
there, I'm gonna be like PrinceHarry without the weird family.
Or maybe he says, princeWilliam, yeah, he says over
there, I'm gonna be like PrinceWilliam without the weird family
.
And I just I remember laughingand thinking that was funny the
first time I saw the movie and Ifeel like even y'all know that
shit is weird and it's toxic andit's not an environment that
anyone really wants to be in,without all the power and the
wealth and if, if you know thatyou're, you know, I hate to say

(17:05):
it but just the spare, likewhat's in it for you.
But also, y'all, he's a grownman.
Harry is a grown man who made agrown man decision.
And the thing is is, maybe notmaybe this is an American
perspective, but I don't see whyit's such a horrible thing for
someone to want to leave acolonizing state.

(17:26):
Y'all, y'all UKers havecolonized the entire planet
almost, and when forgive me, Idon't know everybody's names,
but when Queen Elizabeth's dad'sbrother left the throne for the
white woman in America, youknow, I'm sure that was a really
big deal back then.
But it's like they talk abouthim like he was the devil, as

(17:50):
opposed to someone who was justin love and wanted to leave.
Like the brother was just inlove and wanted to leave.
He didn't want to do it.
And y'all act like he is theactual devil.
And then what happened withHarry leaving his senior duties?
Y'all are calling Megan anarcissist because Harry was a
brother in love who wanted toleave.

(18:12):
Like y'all little countrybullshit, colonizing state y'all
got going on is not heaven,it's not.
It's not something to aspire to.
Like have y'all ever sat andthought about that?
Like maybe it's a good thingthat harry, a spare who wasn't
even gonna be y'all king, tookhis black american wife and got

(18:34):
the hell out of there.
Because y'all have done evilthings all over the planet.
Y'all colonized all thesecountries all over the planet
and continue to tax them.
Like y'all don't see that shitis evil.
Like why wouldn't somebody wantto be?
Like, yeah, I don't.
On top of all that, y'allaren't good people to me.

(18:57):
From Harry's words, fromMeghan's words, they're being
really super shitty to them.
So I just I don't think that'sproof of narcissism?
I don't even think.
I think Harry is his own person.
Even if Meghan had convinced him, even if she convinced him to
leave, even that is not proof ofnarcissism.
It's one thing if you convinceyour fiance to leave their toxic

(19:21):
or no that they their healthy,wonderful, loving, kind family.
But Harry himself has said in awhole book and in an Oprah
interview and in a Netflixdocumentary I did not feel
respected.
I did not feel like mygirlfriend was being respected.
I did not feel like my fiancewas being protected from people

(19:42):
who were acting in insidious andcruel and vicious ways to her.
Death threats, kidnapping plots, press beyond anything what
they had seen before.
Even with Princess Diana heliterally said it from his mouth
he did not feel safe orrespected.
So it's one thing if a womangets her man to leave a healthy

(20:03):
family Maybe.
Maybe I could see that as beingsomewhat narcissistic, even
though people do have free will.
But getting someone to leave avery toxic environment, I don't
see that as narcissistic andthat's if she got him to leave.
And he says in the documentarythis is what I don't understand

(20:23):
about y'all y'all UKers andeverybody who says she's a
narcissist.
Y'all go on and on about hernarcissism and don't believe him
.
Y'all are so mad at her forgouging him out of the UK.
But he said with his own mouthit wasn't her idea.
I, in doing the research forthis video, I watched a few

(20:43):
different interviews where hesaid it wasn't her idea.
I could see the pain in hereyes, I could see what was
happening to her and,additionally, she acknowledged
that she was consideringunaliving herself because it was
so painful.
And the thing is is that y'allare accusing them or accusing
Megan of narcissism and y'allstay gaslighting her about the

(21:06):
pain she went through aboutbeing black.
I remember as an American,there was the press was
horrendous.
The press here was horrendous.
I can't even imagine what itwas over there, but it was
horrendous about her being black.
There was jokes everywhere.
It was.
I just yeah, it was it, it wasbig, it was big news and it was
evil news.
And that's in part, what Ibrought up in the last episode,

(21:28):
because I, as a biracial blackwoman in America, having a very
similar but not completelysimilar experience as Megan,
growing up conventionally prettybiracial black woman in America
, I remember being like thissucks ass when all that press
came out about her being blackbecause it was negative and it
was terrible, and thegaslighting by like, if you're a

(21:52):
white person, american or uk orwhat, or namibian, I don't give
a fuck if you're a white personit is genuinely seen as a
emotionally abusive thing to doto gaslight a black person about
whether or not they'reexperiencing racism.
I'm not sure if y'all know that, but when y'all continue to say
that it wasn't about race andthat she's a race baiter and

(22:15):
that she's just lying and therewas no pain about her being
black and da, da, da andeverybody accepted her until she
did this, until she did that,and it's like y'all you are
gaslighting her.
That is literally what you'redoing and that is such a shock,
something that narcissists do.
You are projecting narcissismonto her.
Meanwhile, you're gaslightingher about a significant thing

(22:38):
and this is what I was talkingabout was the overlap of what
I've experienced.
That Meg and I have experiencedis that we're both
light-skinned black people, so alot of times people will be
like well, you didn't experiencethat racism because you're
light-skinned, because you'rebiracial, so that's not racism
and it's like no, I know whatthe fuck racism is.
I don't need a white person totell me whether or not I've
experienced racism, like I knowwhen I'm experiencing racism

(23:01):
okay.
But also with Megan, it wasjust very obvious that she was
experiencing tons of racism.
So I can't even really takeanyone seriously who accuses
Megan of being a narcissist,because one of the number one
things they say is that she's aliar because she didn't
experience racism and it'salready.
As a Black American, I'm like Ican't take you seriously at all

(23:23):
.
As a black American, I'm like Ican't.
I can't take you seriously atall.
Black women are literally themost hated people on this entire
fucking planet.
We experience every type ofabuse as women and every type of
abuse as being black, and youcombine them together.
We experience different kindsof abuse as light-skinned black
women.
We experience a whole otherdifferent kind of abuse as as a
dark-skinned black women.
We experienced a whole otherdifferent kind of abuse as as

(23:43):
dark-skinned black women, likeevery kind of abuse that there
is to suffer.
Black women have experienced it.
And the minute somebody saysMegan is lying about that, I'm
like god, I I feel sorry for you.
I feel sorry for you thatyou're like this lost, uh, like

(24:04):
just this lost in the sauce anduh, clearly don't have any black
women friends.
But uh, point number two theysay that she love bombed him.
If Megan love bombed Harry,what is the proof of that?
There's literally no proof,like sometimes.
Sometimes somebody might say,oh, he loved by me.

(24:25):
He flew me out to Jamaica onthe second date and while we
were there he bought me a Chanelpurse and it was only the
second date and then he asked meto marry him.
You know, there's there'sspecific things.
If someone were to ask me, whatdid your ex do to love bomb you
?
I could list it off, I couldrattle it off in rapid
succession and I could just giveyou the first three weeks, the

(24:47):
first four weeks, and I couldgive you all the details.
And when people start talkingabout Megan love bombing Harry,
they start talking about herworking behind the scenes to set
up a meeting and all thesethings that have nothing to do
with love bombing.
But also it's just, again, wildconjecture.
There's still nothing thatanyone and I watched y'all.

(25:10):
I looked for it becauseeverybody keeps talking about it
.
She love bombed him.
She's a narcissist, she loves.
I'm like, where is the proof?
Show me something, tell mesomething.
All they have is all of thisweird fabricated conspiracy
theory stories and really whatit sounds like is they're just
two people.
They clicked right away.
They started talking a lotmutually, then they met up for a

(25:34):
little vacation.
They had a really good time andthen they decided to move it
forward.
There's nothing that shows therewas like expensive gifts that
she bought him or even that hebought her.
There's nothing that showsthere was like expensive gifts
that she bought him or even thathe bought her.
There was nothing that showslike an excessive there, there,
there isn't anything, even aninterview.
Sometimes, like in these kindof situations, people will give
it away when they don't know.

(25:55):
You know they'll be like ifsomeone doesn't know they're a
victim of love bombing, theymight be like oh my god, it was.
So he texted me like 35 times aday and I just knew he loved me
because he texted me like 35times a day.
And then you know you'relooking at them crazy, like girl
you are getting love bomb.
But you know they don't know ityet.
But there's like nothing.
There's nothing that's showingthat at all.

(26:17):
Like, not even at all.
The third one is that they saythat she is a manipulator, she's
a narcissist because she'smanipulated all of these things.
She manipulated meeting him andshe manipulated marrying him
and she manipulated gettingpregnant and then the pregnancy
was a lie and then shemanipulated them leaving, and
it's just all again based on thepress, tabloid press.

(26:41):
On top of all that, I just lastnight saw the interview where
Harry said with his own lipsthat they had a meeting after
the press had said somethingabout him and Harry got into a
fight or something like that.
He sat down with his daddy andhis granny and they had a
meeting and it was intense andwithin an out, within four hours

(27:03):
of that meeting, the press fromWilliam's house because if
you're new to this, william'shouse has a whole press Harry's
house, the daddy, the granny andthe house is all worked
together.
I don't fully understand it,but William's house came out
with a joint letter betweenWilliam and Harry that said

(27:24):
don't y'all worry, we're buddies, we're the best of friends, we
love each other.
Y'all just squash it like wedid.
Love William and Harry.
And Harry was had no part inthe letter.
It was signed by Harry, he hadno part in it and it was like
Harry has come out to expose thefamily for being fraudulent,

(27:48):
like fraudulently signing hisname to a letter that he had
nothing to do with.
If you believe things that theDaily Mail and the Telegraph and
the New York Post and TMZ sayand y'all accept that as truth,
to use that as the basis thatMeghan is a narcissist, but you
don't even realize that theactual monarchy is lying in

(28:11):
their own press, how can any ofus take your claims that she's a
narcissist seriously when weknow all these people are lying,
trying to sell newspapers,trying to, you know, get hits on
their website?
There is no reputable sourcefor news on the royal family
except for what they saythemselves, and even that Harry

(28:32):
has shown is a lie.
I mean, they went into Harryand Meghan went into great depth
in that documentary to explainhow the press works with them,
how they sell stories, how thehouses compete against each
other and how, when they neededa story to get rid of a
different story, they would sella story about Megan stuff that
wasn't even true.

(28:52):
Just salacious shit.
I would have ran like Meganhandled it so gracefully.
That sounds like some fucked upwhite people shit for real.
Like that's just insane.
Just insane levels of toxicityand y'all think Megan is the

(29:15):
narcissist.
Like what the hell.
I actually saw two guys, twoBritish dudes, when I was doing
my research and it was like thetitle was like Megan Duchess of
Narcissism or something likethat, and one of them, I guess,
was a popular either YouTuber orpersonality or journalist, I
don't even know.
He was a popular British dudeand he was talking about Megan's

(29:36):
narcissism and then he wastalking about how Charles
William and Harry's daddy isalso a narcissist and going on
and on and about that.
And then the guy wasinterviewing him and asking him
like so do you think thatCharles got it from his mama?
And he was like, yeah, probably.
And he was talking about howthe whole family shows signs of

(29:57):
narcissism.
Now, because I'm an American, Idon't know much about that,
although I do think it'sincredibly narcissistic to
plunder the entire planet andstill tax impoverished countries
that you plundered and carvedup, you know, over 150 years ago
.
But that aside, isn't it morelikely that the royal family is

(30:17):
operating toxically andnarcissistically than just the
random Black American woman thatHarry decided to marry?
Like, have y'all thought aboutthat?
Have y'all thought about thenarcissism that has to exist to
plunder the planet?
Like, are we not thinkingclearly?

(30:39):
Maybe because the people whothink Meghan is a narcissist.
Narcissist like really think theBritish are just, like you know
, pooped out from God.
But, like y'all, what y'allhave done is like the devil's
work.
Like y'all do understand thatright.
Like I'm not saying America isany better, I'm not saying
America is any better.
I think we're, I think we'reworse than y'all.
Actually, I think America isthe worst, fucking, most evil,

(31:02):
inhumane, dehumanizing,torturous, awful planet or, I'm
sorry, country on the planet.
So I'm just saying I think weshould just call a spade a spade
, like damn, y'all, act like itwas all heaven and roses over
there for Megan and Harry, okay,so the next one that people say
that Megan is a narcissist isthat she can't take criticism.
Y'all, who, who and I ask youto list the names please who,

(31:28):
his is a public figure is happyto take public criticism based
on lies?
I'll wait who?
Because y'all sound fuckingstupid.
Y'all sound really reallyfucking stupid.
I think it's one thing forpeople to accept criticism if

(31:53):
they're able to share their sideand if they're, if they're
believed and heard.
But from everything I've lookedat and I don't know all the ins
and outs, but I know enough toknow that Megan has claimed that
98% of what's come out abouther and Harriet said the same
thing too is not true.
So you ask yourself, if youwere in that position, would you
take criticism?

(32:13):
If it was, if you felt like itwas based on lies?
Okay, I'm not sure where Iended, because my son came home
from school and I had to buzzhim in, but anyway, on to the
next point.
Her love for attention is thefinal one that they said and I I
just think you're in a rock anda hard place, right, and she
said this herself.
I feel like so much of thiscould be resolved by just

(32:34):
listening to what the woman hassaid.
She was a popular actress not ahugely popular actress, but she
was a popular actress.
She was on, you know, you knowsuits or whatever.
She had been on a reality show.
She was already, you know,somewhat known, not hugely well
known, but somewhat known.
She wasn't getting a hugeamount of press, but somewhat.
But when she started datingHarry, all things, all hell

(32:56):
broke loose.
And her bodyguard I watched thevideo with her bodyguard, y'all
okay.
The bodyguard said that whenshe started dating Harry and
went public, the press wentcrazy, her set was disrupted,
everything was disrupted.
It was absolute wild craziness.
She said with her own two lipsthat anytime she ever had a
paparazzi come around her in anyway, form or fashion it was

(33:19):
just one or two she would say hi, she would greet them, she
would post her photographs.
It was kind of fun, what, what?
That's what, exactly what?
If I were on a popular tv show,that's what I would do.
If paparazzi came up like, ohyou, you want to take a picture
with me?
Like okay, okay, well, let me,let me get my good side.
Like I would be so geeked if apaparazzi took a picture.
I ain't even gonna lie y'all, Iwould be so freaking geeked.

(33:40):
But I, donazzi, took a pictureof me.
I ain't even gonna lie y'all, Iwould be so freaking geeked.
But I don't know.
She just said that she wasalways really nice to paparazzi.
But then, after the press wentcrazy, after she started dating
Harry, her bodyguard said thingsgot so crazy they had to start,
actually, you know, doingescape routes and trying to
maneuver around them.

(34:01):
And she was to the point whereshe was getting scared, which I
can totally see.
And Harry said if you see themout, don't smile anymore,
because the press in the UK aresaying that you love it and that
that's all you want and that'sall you're looking for and
that's the only reason you'redating him Again, y'all.
It's not hard to see likethat's conjecture.

(34:21):
It's just conjecture.
It's people putting words andideas and thoughts into Megan
that aren't her own.
Whether she liked the press ordidn't like the press, that
still isn't a sign of narcissism.
And also there isn't anyone onthis planet who has not somehow
changed as a result of gettingpress attention.

(34:42):
That's a reason why some peoplekeep their kids out of the
spotlight.
Because of how we see that itaffects people Michael Jackson,
lindsay Lohan, britney Spearsit's not hard to see that people
get frozen in time when theystart becoming the targets of
press, but it's addicting and wecan see why it's addicting.

(35:03):
I mean, justin Bieber isanother, could be another case
study for that too.
I don't know anyone that hasn'taltered.
But still, if we look at likepeople like Michael Jackson,
britney Spears, justin Bieber,et cetera, megan there still
isn't any proof that the waythat they respond to paparazzi
is a sign of narcissism, whetherthey like it and they smile or

(35:26):
they don't Like even, I wouldsay, someone who courts the
paparazzi like Kim Kardashian.
Kim has been out here courtingthe paparazzi for 25 years.
For 25 business years She'dbeen out here courting the
paparazzi.
I still don't think that that'sa sign of narcissism.
It doesn't necessarily meanthat Kim's a narcissist, and Kim

(35:47):
is on a whole other level thanMegan.
She's on a whole other level.
I don't hear y'all calling Kim anarcissist.
I just want you to, as someonewho believes that Megan is
really a narcissist, I just wantyou to think about what you're
saying.
Her love for attention issomething, an idea that you have
had, that you've put on her.

(36:07):
It's not something that she hassaid.
She has not said I love thisattention.
I love this attention.
Oh my gosh, I love peoplecalling my babies the n-word I
love.
She has repeatedly come out andsaid how scary it was for her,
how harmful it was for her, howdreadful it was for her.
I think that part of the reasonthat people call her a

(36:28):
narcissist is because Harry isstanding on business to protect
his black ass wife.
Harry stood on business and hehas come out and said that, like
with what happened to my mama,I don't want to see that happen
to her like I love this womanand I really think sometimes
white people like hate not eventhink I know white people hate

(36:51):
to see black people happy,thriving love, like y'all really
get off on it.
And I don't even think it's anAmerican thing, I think it's
global.
But uh, I know that y'all, uh,the racism that white people
show in America is not that muchdifferent than UK racism and
y'all hate to see black peoplewin.

(37:12):
Y'all really do.
Y'all really do, like y'allreally do.
It's sad, it's really reallysad.
So the fact that Harry wanted toprotect Meghan like he wished
someone had protected his mama,that he's articulated and
clearly stated.
Y'all hate to see it.
And the only reason that youcan wrap your little tiny brain

(37:34):
cells around why he would dosomething like that is for you
to call Meghan a narcissist andbelieve that she wanted that,
that she controlled him, andit's like, have y'all ever
stopped to consider they have agood relationship and he loves
her and he wanted to protect herand his children?
Maybe you should.
History repeating itself issomething that white people

(37:56):
don't tend to get or understand.
Y'all just keep doing the samehorrible ethnic cleansing shit
over and over and over again.
As big as ethnic cleansing andas small as constant, daily
abuses.
And I feel like in this scenario, harry was just like I would

(38:16):
like to break some generationalcurses here Like we're going to
get the fuck out of here and Idon't care about y'all money,
the only thing I care about issecurity.
It seems like from what he saidin the Oprah interview and in
the documentary that he wasupset when they said that y'all
aren't.
If you step back from yourroyal duties, from your senior
duties, y'all are not going toget the security for your family

(38:38):
or for your kids.
To that I have to say what thefuck y'all?
What the actual fuck.
It's a very white people thingto do.
Like, oh, we're not going toprotect you, you do what we say
we're able to control you, orwe're not going to protect you,
knowing that they are the mostvulnerable people on the planet
If they get kidnapped, the kindof ransom that people would ask
for, or for them to be unalivedbecause of the rampant global

(39:04):
hatred that the royal familyrefused to speak out against.
Like that is some cruel ass,white people shit.
Just so you know.
That's so on par.
It's so on par with y'all levelof racism.
Another thing that people saidis that they called her a liar
based on what happened with herdad and repeated I saw over and
over again about how whathappened with her dad is an

(39:26):
example of her being a badperson.
Without ever looking at whatkind of man sells out his
daughter for a hundred thousanddollars, like this man is a
horrible father and hasrepeatedly, repeatedly spoke out
out against her If he loved her.
When a man loves his daughter,when a man adores his daughter,

(39:51):
when a man thinks that she isthe most precious thing on the
planet, like you know, you cansee it, you can tell.
You can tell when a man loveshis daughter, he will do
anything for her, move heavenand earth for her.
And what he's done is shownthat he's a white American man,
a racist, probably practicingmassage noir, betraying his

(40:12):
daughter for $100,000 andcontinues to do so.
And y'all are blaming it onMegan.
Make it make sense.
Y'all make it.
Make some motherfucking sense.
Make it make sense.
This doesn't even have anythingto do.
Megan could have never openedher mouth about this situation
and you can still see.
This man sold his daughter outfor a hundred thousand dollars

(40:33):
for a story, didn't come to thewedding, even though he was
invited, then that whole thingwith the letters, selling the
letters to the press, andcontinues to speak out against
her Like if anyone's anarcissist which I'm not
accusing him of, cause I don'tknow him.
I don't know him and I don'tknow enough about him to accuse
him of that.
But y'all claim to know everygoddamn thing about Megan and

(40:54):
accuse her of being a narcissistwithout looking at her daddy,
without looking at Harry's daddy, without looking at Harry's
granny.
Y'all accusing Megan what thehell?
Y'all, what the hell?
That's why I said my lastepisode y'all some racist
assholes.

(41:15):
Y'all are just.
It's just racism andunfortunately, like I said
before, white people's racism.
Sometimes y'all are literallytoo stupid to know that you're
practicing.
That's what you're practicing,and I think this is about men
sometimes too.
I think men are practicing suchdeep-seated misogyny that y'all
literally don't know thatyou're practicing misogyny
because it has literally, like,got into the core of your belief

(41:36):
set.
You literally believe so deeplythat men are more valuable and
better humans than women thatyou can't even see you're being
misogynist because you thinkit's true.
You literally think it's trueand that's how white people see
the world about black people.
Like y'all really, trulybelieve y'all are better humans
and better people and you don'teven see sometimes when you're
being racist.
I don't even think you know,and that is what's happening

(41:58):
here and I truly feel sorry fory'all because of how miserable
it has to be to be that much ofa black people, hating woman,
hating person.
It's a not know and to accusethis woman of being a narcissist
when you know nothing about her.
If Harry came out one day, ifHarry came out one day and said

(42:19):
I was wrong, I married anarcissist, I will kiss your
feet.
Okay, I will get on my kneesand kiss your feet and say you
know what?
If there's enough evidence, ifhe could show enough proof and
enough receipts of her actuallyacting narcissistically to him,
I'd be like, okay, I was wrong,but y'all, this man is doing
nothing but adoring his wife,raising his kids, trying to be

(42:41):
happy like y'all.
Leave this, leave this familyalone.
Another thing that got broughtup was she wants all of the
attention and she wants to beduchess of sussex but didn't
want to do her royal duties.
So what I heard was and this isthis is from.
It was a documentary, or was itthe oprah interview?
It was one of them, but theysaid that the duchess of dutch
or what is he called.
Is it just dutch?

(43:02):
I don't even know.
The, the, the Duchess of Dutch,or what is he called.
Is it just Dutch, I don't evenknow.
The Duchess of Sussex title wasgiven by the granny for their
wedding gift.
When they said they want toleave or do their royal duties
from another place or reducetheir royal duties, they said
they would give up those titles.
His grandmother said no, I gaveyou that for your wedding gift,

(43:23):
keep it.
But they did take away the HRH,his royal highness and her
royal, those titles.
His grandmother said no, I gaveyou that for your wedding gift
to keep it.
But they did take away the HRH,the her, his Royal Highness and
her Royal Highness titles.
So they don't go by HRH.
So apparently, even though theirlast name or surname or
whatever the fuck y'all call it,is Mountbatten, mountbatten,
windsor, windsor, mountbatten,something the Sussex overpowers
the Mountbatten, windsor.
And so when she said, and withlove, megan, when Mindy Kaling

(43:46):
said Megan Markle, and she waslike girl, that's not my name,
no more.
Like our family, last name isSussex, we go by Sussex.
That was a way that Harry ishonoring his grandma who said
that was my wedding gift to you.
I want y'all to keep it.
It's a wedding gift.
So it's just yet another thingthat people are calling her a
narcissist for.
And it's like y'all theydecided that's what's going to
be their last name.
They're not even going by MountBenton, windsor or whatever.

(44:08):
They're going by what hisgranny gave them as a wedding
gift and they were willing togive it up.
So again next, y'all areexhausting.
Y'all are literally exhausting.
So yeah, another thing I justnoticed is that like it's crazy
how many contradictory reportsand things there are.

(44:28):
It feels like once you viewsomething through the lens of
like she's a narcissist, theyjust kind of put together
anything and everything.
Let me give an example.
I saw someone go into this wholenews segment about how she's a
narcissist because she liesabout everything to make herself
look better, and they were likecase in point.
There was this one time whereher and the Queen of England

(44:48):
were going somewhere.
They had first met and theywere going somewhere and they
got into the car and Meghan saidthat the Queen was very cold,
so she took a little blanket toput over her legs and she said
are your legs cold.
Here you can have some too.
And she took the blanket andshe covered Meghan's legs too,
and Meghan just thought that wasso sweet and she just really
liked her, and it was obviousthat the Queen of England liked

(45:09):
her back.
And then, lo and behold, videofootage comes out of this event
and it only shows the Queen ofEngland covering up her own legs
.
So then they show the videoclip, and the video clip is
indeed a literally three secondclip of the Queen of England
pulling a little blanket up overher legs, and that's the whole

(45:30):
entire clip.
It literally was three seconds,and so it's like they might
have got a little further downthe road where they weren't
being filmed.
And she offered to put theblanket over Meg's legs, or
maybe it was halfway through thetrip.
She was like, hey, your legsare your legs look cold.
Do you want it over your legstoo?
Or maybe it was was the tripback, but this person who was

(45:51):
delivering the news literallydid a whole segment on Meghan
being a liar and a narcissistbecause she lied about the Queen
of England not putting theblanket over her legs, based on
this clip that was three seconds.
Yeah, it's not like there was acamera in the car and they had
the whole trip there and backfilmed to prove that the Queen
of England never extended theoffer.

(46:12):
But it was three seconds andI'm like y'all, do you
understand how healthy it is,unhealthy it is and how
overanalyzed y'all are doing foreverything?
And I keep.
I was watching all these shorts.
All these shorts are coming upon my feed and it was like watch
Meghan be a narcissist, becauselook at this look she gives
Harry when he steps in front ofher.
And it's like you do understand.

(46:33):
You can't do that, you cannotanalyze.
You weren't even there, yo,please stop, please stop, please
stop.
I also noticed that there arepeople who have become obsessed
with documenting her life.
There was a guy on TikTokbecause I put my clips up on
TikTok and there was a guy whoresponded back to me about you

(46:53):
know something negative, like ohmy God, you're just a
narcissist like Megan, orsomething like that.
And I went to his page.
His whole page is justanti-Megan hate.
It's literally just that and Ijust thought like do you not see
that as really unhealthy?
Like you're in tight, you areobsessed with trying to prove
something about this woman whoyou don't know that has no

(47:15):
relevance to your life, who willnever know about you.
Like, do you understand thatyou're a loser?
You're an obsessed.
You're probably a white, old,ugly man in cell with diabetes
and you're obsessed with thisbeautiful black woman who loves
her husband, who husband lovesher, raising a family together.
Like, do you understand howtoxic that is and unhealthy?

(47:40):
And frankly, it's just weird.
It's weird and a lot of thesepeople online who came on my
posts giving me hate and fromeverything else I could see
they're just bare white peoplewith no life.
Narcissists are people who causeirreparable damage in the lives

(48:01):
of people that are around them.
Think Miranda Priestly from theDevil Wears Prada, someone who
is so selfish and so inward thatthey cause damage everywhere
they go.
They do have people around themwho they treat okay, but for
the most part, someone who hasnarcissistic personality

(48:21):
disorder cannot help but harmeveryone around them, and with
great consequence.
Think of the orange orangutandemon who now holds the highest
office of America.
It's easy to point to proof ofnarcissism because there are
cases of grape, there are casesof edophilia I'm trying to, you

(48:48):
know, change some of these wordsbut there's proof of how there
is dehumanization happening onhis watch and under his power.
For y'all UK folks apparently alot of y'all think that Charles
is a narcissist because there'sproof of irreparable harm and
damage.
You can see the destructionthat people who truly have

(49:14):
narcissistic personalitydisorder leave.
It's a very scary personalitydisorder.
It's in the dark triad alongwith psychopaths and murderers.
Okay, like it's a serious thing.
And I do realize that narcissismexists on a scale.
Someone can have narcissisticpersonality disorder, let's say

(49:35):
on a scale of zero to ten and beat a ten.
And then there's someone whocan be like the everyday
narcissist.
Actually, I have a book aroundhere somewhere I don't know
where it is right now, but it'scalled the everyday narcissist
and it's talking about peoplewho are like more like a five on
the scale.
They still cause a lot ofdamage at work.
They cause a lot of damage intheir marriage.
They like irreparably harmtheir children, but they're not

(49:56):
out here like unaliving peopleso they don't raise so many
alarm bells.
They're just really difficultpeople to want to be around.
Actually, like that movie um,there's a movie that came out
recently.
I forgot what the name of it'scalled, I think.
Think it's called A Real Pain.
Um, kieran Culkin is in it andhe plays the narcissist or he
plays a very difficultpersonality.
But I saw Dr Romney talk.

(50:17):
She made a whole video abouthow that um movie was the
greatest example of what shecalls the vulnerable narcissist
that she's ever seen.
Uh, I.
So I watched it because DrRomney suggested it.
I watched it a few weeks agoand I was just like, wow, and I
think that's another greatexample, like, if you want to
see what someone who is actuallya narcissist on varying levels

(50:40):
because he's probably not a 10,he's definitely not a 5.
Karen Culkin's character wouldprobably more be like a 7, seven
, eight.
It's really good, you shouldsee it.
People who are narcissists causereal pain and damage.
That's provable and I thinkthat we need to be very, very,
very careful to hurl that kindof criticism at someone based on

(51:08):
lies and conjecture.
Now, I know I'm not going toconvince anyone that's convinced
that that Megan is a narcissist, but I do hope that we can be
more responsible as people,especially when there is really
serious consequences for thatcriticism.
A good example of this is howour orange orangutan demon
president in his firstpresidency I can't even believe

(51:31):
that he's on a second how heignited a fury of anti-Asian
hate crime because of himblaming COVID on China, and so
in America I'm not sure what therest of the world was like, but
there was a lot of hate crimeagainst Asians and that's really

(51:52):
serious.
And you know, I don't know ifanyone was around the orange
orangutan demon to tell him likewhat you're doing is becoming
dangerous for people, like stopthis, please stop this.
That's just one example.
There's so many other examples.
And so when I hear and seepeople talk about this kind of
stuff, you know, for me, as I'vesaid, as a mixed race, biracial

(52:15):
woman growing up in America,seeing Megan attack like this
like it's just sad.
It's like this woman isliterally out here trying to
live her life, fell in love witha fucking prince and entered a
hell.
In love with a fucking princeand entered a hell, turned a
literal hell and still just outhere, wants to mind her business

(52:35):
and do fun, creative shit.
I even saw something yesterdayanother white woman yawn,
exhausting, ridiculous,deplorable, has a whole channel
again just to um prove thatMegan is horrible, and she was
talking about how.
Now she's doing the confessionsof a CEO thing and that's
another proof of her narcissism.

(52:57):
And I'm like, if I had themoney and resources to just like
launch a new podcast, launch ashow about something I love
cooking and homemaking, you knowand take care of my family and
be a good wife and mother, likeI would do that, I would do that
.
Who wouldn't do that?
Who wouldn't just continue topursue your crit?
And she was already inentertainment.
She was already an actress, shewas already in a public figure.

(53:19):
Like she's already comfortable.
Like she was on that realityshow with the suitcases or
whatever.
She was already doing thisstuff.
What is the big fucking deal?
Like, do y'all want her to gointo cybersecurity?
Do you want her to be anengineer?
Do you want her to go into atunnel?
Do you want her to be a caver,a splunker?
Do you want her to go work atthe mall?
Like, what would you preferthat she do as a woman who is a

(53:39):
creative, who is a leader, whohas philanthropic tendencies,
all these things that we seethat she was before she met
Harry?
What would you prefer that shedo for a career?
She still wants to work.
A lot of people find joy increative pursuits.
That does not make them anarcissist because they're
married to the former spareprince of the UK.
Anyway, child, if you enjoyedthis episode, please give me a

(54:01):
like and subscribe.
Leave me a review on apple.
I'm starting a new newsletter,called out here thriving.
I know I've been telling y'allI'm starting this newsletter.
I finally started.
It's called out here thriving.
I know I've been telling y'allI'm starting this newsletter.
I finally started.
It's called out here thriving.
It has six categories where I'mgoing to be talking about a
little bit about each one everyuh, every week or so, every week
or two.
So I will have the link down inthe podcast show notes for you

(54:21):
to sign up for that.
Uh, I appreciate you being here.
You could be anywhere, butyou're here with me.
I promise this podcast is notgoing to turn into a Meghan
Markle podcast, but I did wantto talk about that and you know
there is some overlap because Ihave another episode about
narcissism and warrants warningsof uh being love bombed by a
narcissist and I have you know,that whole series on my youtube

(54:42):
channel.
So don't worry, we're gonnatalk about other stuff.
But thank you so much for beinghere and I'll see y'all on my
next upload.
Bye.

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