February 1, 2023 • 19 mins
Let's dive into why Kindman & Co (specifically Dani & Amanda, 2 people of color) launched this podcast, how it feels to establish a platform, to speak, to take up space, and freely speak about lived experiences. Given the history of feeling silenced.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This episode was recorded prior to the series of tragedies that
directly impacted API and black folks in our community together.
We stand with sorrowful hearts and United and disappointment
from systemic failures that continue to prevent repeated
physical and emotional harm. Please visit us at time and
dotco on Instagram for a list ofresources.
(00:21):
If you are looking for therapy or ways to participate in
community healing, my name is Danny and my name is Amanda and
we're at a session with kind of it co a feelings forward podcast
where we leave our therapists elves at the door and have messy
real conversations about being human.
(00:41):
Today's topic is about having a speaking platform for people of
color. Well, dive into why?
The two of us launch this podcast?
How it feels to establish a platform to speak to take a
space and freely. Speak about lived experiences
given the history of food. Besides so jumping right to it.
Daddy, what's right? This pockets?
(01:04):
Man said I was thinking about how the conversation first
started between you and I about blogs.
I think we started talking about.
Oh my gosh, I wish there was another way to get information
out. That wasn't typing in front of a
computer. So for those of you listening,
(01:28):
right? Kind and Co on our website, we
have a Blog and And there's thisloose but also firm asked for
everybody. That works here to write a
somewhat frequent blog. Okay?
I think at this point I've worked here for a little over a
(01:50):
year, I think I've written maybetwo blocks and I know that
that's not meeting the ideal amount of blogging, but I just
really hated it, like, it sucked.
And so I remember you, and I bonding over the idea that there
could be another way to get out info, and that was just exciting
(02:15):
to me. And so I think it was cool to
write blogs on finding like a right fit therapist or seeing
what other folks have written, but I just don't, I'm not
passionate about RIT writing things typing things out.
It's not a place that I feel confident or comfortable, you
(02:36):
know? Like I'm a therapist like
thriving holding space with humans and a block to me, just
doesn't do that in the same way,but I know it does for other
people. Do you remember?
Do you remember the beginnings of talking about blogging and
wishing? There was a different way to
talk? Oh yeah.
Yeah. Was thinking when we first
(03:01):
started our do remember that conversation I'm just like
having to really think about woweverywhere that I right here on
my own is going to be red and all has to be of importance.
So I think just having this conversation views, like much
more relaxing. So I'm excited to see where it
(03:25):
goes. And also for people who prefer
Like the red version, there is atranscript of all of this in our
blog warm. So we you know everyone has
their wins and losses of like dothey like blogs are doing that
but I wanted to ask specificallylike what makes you more
(03:45):
inclined to do a podcast and talk versus like all the writing
like why is it that you love them speech so much.
But hate the writing so much. Mmm-hmm the the thing that comes
to mind when you ask that is thinking of people that have had
the right words, you know, and being able to identify with
(04:08):
that, you know, I talked to folks that love reading, and
they just feel that something isjust written so eloquently, or
in a way that just speaks to them.
The way that I felt most drawn in is through conversation.
And like I think about my A my Grandma comes to mind right?
(04:30):
Like someone who just knows the right thing to say and I felt so
connected to me. That's a full experience in
talking with her where it's like, we're looking eye to eye.
She's telling me something we'reconnected in conversation, and I
just can feel like the power in that I can feel her emotions.
(04:50):
I can feel mine. I just don't get that in the
same way when I'm like, reading or writing So, it feels exciting
to be able to share this space with you and to be able to think
about, you know, the other folksthat are going to come onto this
podcast to speak, like what theymight have to say that, that
(05:13):
feels very exciting to me storytelling.
It's something that my family really valued like, in quality
time, hearing about somebody's day, hearing about their life
experiences. I'm curious.
How storytelling or like non written language was used in
(05:34):
your household. That's a good question.
Yeah, we were talking about thisearlier and I realize big well
reservation Revelation that I can't my Chinese so everything
that I speak with my parents in the people who raised me has to
be not rid has to be through speak.
(05:58):
Aching right. My grandma only speaks Chinese
right and that means she only isable to write in Chinese.
So it is a huge part of how my family is able to connect with
one another and learn from one another.
So it's a big deal when you're saying, how does it really?
(06:18):
It is a really really big deal. And that's why I think it's
important that I also continue to speak.
Mandarin continue to stay with my roots in that way, or else I
lose a very valuable part of feeling connected with the
people who really were importantto me at our family definitely
(06:42):
and I think just from what you've shared, there's like been
a mix of folks speaking Mandarinfolks, speaking Cantonese.
And I'm curious how confident you felt right there was such an
emphasis on, okay? This is the way that we
communicate. It must be through like
(07:03):
speaking. Did you feel confident in
speaking Mandarin or Cantonese or English right?
Like growing up did that feel like something that you could do
to communicate? Yeah yeah I think back to like
when I was younger and the answer Her right now is no, I
(07:24):
don't feel very confident in speaking Mandarin.
I like barely know enough Cantonese to really be able to
converse, but I think when I wasyounger like that was my first
language, right? So having that Importance of
Being able to speak to them, hasslowly shifted.
But I think partly because it has been hard to find a space to
(07:49):
speak Mandarin. Especially after I moved to
college or like moved away from sadly.
I'm only able to speak it very conversationally, right?
And if I think about it, like I already have a hard time
speaking up in spaces where I speak English, right?
So, it is equally as hard, if not more to find spaces where
(08:11):
I'm speaking in my original first language but that I'm not
as connected with anymore. So I think there's that inner
Battle of like how can I even Take up space in like
English-speaking in like Works places that solely speak
English. So, I was curious, just what
about you? I do relate in, finding it
(08:33):
difficult to speak up in the spaces out here in in the
languages that you do speak. Mmm.
Yeah, I mean I hear you talk about language and the way that
you've connected with family or have struggled to connect with
family, because of language is so is so powerful because that's
(09:00):
like your roots, right, like where you come from and I think
there's so much Value and storytelling at least in my
family. And I hear you saying something
similar, right? But to broaden that in, like
(09:21):
speaking up in general, right? Using my voice.
It's interesting, I think, I think it's almost easier to,
like, uplift somebody else's andI in preparing kind of what we
were going to discuss today. The thought that kept on coming
(09:43):
into my mind was damn, the privilege that I have, right.
I felt some like, shame and guilt coming in for me, thinking
about, oh, I have the privilege of time and energy a supportive
work environment. So even launched a podcast,
(10:04):
right, the ability to create this platform with you.
I was taking stock of all the ways that and all the reasons
why I should not take up space and it's funny, right?
Like to people of color that areHaving this podcast episode be
(10:30):
about taking space. I was like, no, no, no I take it
back. I take it back.
I don't I don't deserve this, right?
And so I found myself just invalidating me and almost
feeling like a has had confessedOh my gosh.
So these are all the ways that Ihave privilege.
(10:52):
There was a much less focus on my marginalized identities,
which I think is different, right?
Like, I don't I don't typically silence those pieces of me.
It was interesting. Now that I have this place to
talk with you being Mexican, being a woman being lesbian like
(11:15):
that. All went out of it.
I was like, oh no, none of that matters.
Just let's just focus on why I should not be here and I feel
like I'm almost second-guessing myself and something that I was
like super excited to do with you and with everyone here at
common in Co. So yeah, I got in my head.
(11:37):
I totally got in my head and gotin this confused place, is that
just me? Oh, gosh, yeah, no, not at all.
And I just wanted to say to, it's like it, I'm just imagining
you as a therapist, like, you would never say the things that
you say to yourself right now. Like I don't deserve this space
(11:57):
to any of your clients but it's just interesting how like we are
kind of putting like separate expectations like ourselves.
The yeah, I definitely resonatedright.
I also like a somebody who like had access to higher education
graduated from University does not have a disability if I hold
(12:22):
a lot of privilege, right? And even though I'm Like Danny,
why don't you speak more? Like, let's hear your face is in
this way, I guess, right? Because I think also, I was
like, when you said like, damn, that pillage, it really sparked
the thought, process of just, intersectionality, right of my
identity as East. Asian, Chinese American in this
(12:46):
like races colors Society, right?
Like I am the model minority. It is a myth and also their ways
that I have You literally just said, I am the myth.
I think he just debunked yourself like what you were
(13:08):
saying. I didn't realize that.
But yeah, I mean call me out right now.
No. But um, great.
Like like that's the kind of like you saw the contradictory
evidence of the things that I say, it's like, The model
minority is a myth, right? He's like it, like Asian
(13:30):
Americans, especially like East Asian Americans, that, or east
Asians who have immigrated here were used.
As I racial was to be the least,I was like, quote unquote
better, right? Like making this sort of like
oppression Olympics of like who's better or like, you know,
like I'll always Advocate Advocate like for my community
(13:54):
and against. Of minority myth.
And also, I'm very aware of the ways that I have benefited from
this ideology. Mmm.
But so for me, it was so much more important and so much more
like present in how I am speaking with others.
And how much space I take up because I just thought that
other voices were more importantto uplift, right?
(14:17):
Especially with me as a TSA agent and then we talk about all
the Privileges that I have had, right?
Girl. End up being here, being able to
do this podcast, and I have cometo kind of grapple with the idea
that I'm still allowed to take up space, right?
Like my experiences are different, and I do hold a lot
(14:38):
of different identities, right? Like I am queer, I am not
inviting and neurodivergent, right?
So like having space and actually letting myself to take
up space for it. Different lived experiences that
I have has been new and has beenbeen kind of brought to the
Forefront because of this podcast.
(14:59):
Mhm, the words that stick out and are just sticking in my mind
right now are different and grappling, right?
Like grappling with model minority.
(15:22):
And both recognizing it as a very real thing but then also
recognizing it as something. That's like how the hell is this
real right? Like just grappling with
anything in. Your identity can be so
challenging and offer so much space to like invalidate you or
internalized. What people are telling you,
(15:44):
like the word grappling is a physical like fight, but that's
like all in like you're describing that.
It's just like all internal and something that you have to think
through and feel through, insidefeelings wise, write the word
different. You said that a few times.
(16:05):
It stuck out to me because I think different doesn't mean
better, right? Like there's no scale.
There's no measurement to that. It's just different you and I
are different from each other, you know, I'm thinking.
On the last episode with Paul and Caitlin, we are all
(16:26):
different from each other. Just like everybody on the
common & Co team and whoever is listening to this episode,
right? But it doesn't mean better.
It doesn't mean worse. It just means we're not the same
and I think the Hope in this podcast is to reach people.
(16:50):
Who are different, you know, going back to the importance of
Storytelling. It's a way to feel connected
with each other and I'm so hopeful that this will lead to
more connection. I feel more connected sitting
next to you right now, and I think it's really cool to be
able to share space with you loneliness.
(17:11):
To me is one of the shittiest feelings that someone can have
and feel like connection is the Opposite for myself, right?
So I appreciate feeling connected to you.
Yeah, I like that that's like connection is officer and yeah.
(17:31):
Thanks for sharing space, with me to finishing were gone.
It's been nice. Learning more about you.
Thanks for joining us today to talk about race privilege and
taking up space as people of color.
Part 2 of this conversation willbe airing soon to address
allyship and what we're doing with our privilege and before we
go back, Session, we're bringinginto ground game.
L a ground game is a horizontally manage, grassroot,
(17:55):
Grassroots group, building community, and Toro power in Los
Angeles. More bipod voices are being
heard as they're being the movement to the people door
knocking and uplifting marginalized voices and
experiences. And one account were
recommending to decolonize your social media feed is the trans
Latina Coalition. They are an organization serving
(18:19):
and Lifting trans gender non-conforming and intersex
individuals. They have a wide range of
resources and services includingadvocacy and policy change
leadership development violence prevention, providing food
clothing and ESL classes to the community and much much more.
They've got an amazing website and Instagram.
(18:40):
So please go over to them. They're actually just did a live
and they're currently looking tohire a lawyer to help with
immigration, work and legal services.
Has so again, please go over to their page if you're interested
or know someone who's interestedin, helping them out there, you
can also provide donations to them via those platforms.
(19:03):
That's it for today. See you next time, when we're
out of session,
This episode was recorded prior to the series of tragedies that
directly impacted API and black folks in our community together.
We stand with sorrowful hearts and United and disappointment
from systemic failures that continue to prevent repeated
physical and emotional harm. Please visit us at time and
dotco on Instagram for a list ofresources.
(00:21):
If you are looking for therapy or ways to participate in
community healing, my name is Danny and my name is Amanda and
we're at a session with kind of it co a feelings forward podcast
where we leave our therapists elves at the door and have messy
real conversations about being human.
(00:41):
Today's topic is about having a speaking platform for people of
color. Well, dive into why?
The two of us launch this podcast?
How it feels to establish a platform to speak to take a
space and freely. Speak about lived experiences
given the history of food. Besides so jumping right to it.
Daddy, what's right? This pockets?
(01:04):
Man said I was thinking about how the conversation first
started between you and I about blogs.
I think we started talking about.
Oh my gosh, I wish there was another way to get information
out. That wasn't typing in front of a
computer. So for those of you listening,
(01:28):
right? Kind and Co on our website, we
have a Blog and And there's thisloose but also firm asked for
everybody. That works here to write a
somewhat frequent blog. Okay?
I think at this point I've worked here for a little over a
(01:50):
year, I think I've written maybetwo blocks and I know that
that's not meeting the ideal amount of blogging, but I just
really hated it, like, it sucked.
And so I remember you, and I bonding over the idea that there
could be another way to get out info, and that was just exciting
(02:15):
to me. And so I think it was cool to
write blogs on finding like a right fit therapist or seeing
what other folks have written, but I just don't, I'm not
passionate about RIT writing things typing things out.
It's not a place that I feel confident or comfortable, you
(02:36):
know? Like I'm a therapist like
thriving holding space with humans and a block to me, just
doesn't do that in the same way,but I know it does for other
people. Do you remember?
Do you remember the beginnings of talking about blogging and
wishing? There was a different way to
talk? Oh yeah.
Yeah. Was thinking when we first
(03:01):
started our do remember that conversation I'm just like
having to really think about woweverywhere that I right here on
my own is going to be red and all has to be of importance.
So I think just having this conversation views, like much
more relaxing. So I'm excited to see where it
(03:25):
goes. And also for people who prefer
Like the red version, there is atranscript of all of this in our
blog warm. So we you know everyone has
their wins and losses of like dothey like blogs are doing that
but I wanted to ask specificallylike what makes you more
(03:45):
inclined to do a podcast and talk versus like all the writing
like why is it that you love them speech so much.
But hate the writing so much. Mmm-hmm the the thing that comes
to mind when you ask that is thinking of people that have had
the right words, you know, and being able to identify with
(04:08):
that, you know, I talked to folks that love reading, and
they just feel that something isjust written so eloquently, or
in a way that just speaks to them.
The way that I felt most drawn in is through conversation.
And like I think about my A my Grandma comes to mind right?
(04:30):
Like someone who just knows the right thing to say and I felt so
connected to me. That's a full experience in
talking with her where it's like, we're looking eye to eye.
She's telling me something we'reconnected in conversation, and I
just can feel like the power in that I can feel her emotions.
(04:50):
I can feel mine. I just don't get that in the
same way when I'm like, reading or writing So, it feels exciting
to be able to share this space with you and to be able to think
about, you know, the other folksthat are going to come onto this
podcast to speak, like what theymight have to say that, that
(05:13):
feels very exciting to me storytelling.
It's something that my family really valued like, in quality
time, hearing about somebody's day, hearing about their life
experiences. I'm curious.
How storytelling or like non written language was used in
(05:34):
your household. That's a good question.
Yeah, we were talking about thisearlier and I realize big well
reservation Revelation that I can't my Chinese so everything
that I speak with my parents in the people who raised me has to
be not rid has to be through speak.
(05:58):
Aching right. My grandma only speaks Chinese
right and that means she only isable to write in Chinese.
So it is a huge part of how my family is able to connect with
one another and learn from one another.
So it's a big deal when you're saying, how does it really?
(06:18):
It is a really really big deal. And that's why I think it's
important that I also continue to speak.
Mandarin continue to stay with my roots in that way, or else I
lose a very valuable part of feeling connected with the
people who really were importantto me at our family definitely
(06:42):
and I think just from what you've shared, there's like been
a mix of folks speaking Mandarinfolks, speaking Cantonese.
And I'm curious how confident you felt right there was such an
emphasis on, okay? This is the way that we
communicate. It must be through like
(07:03):
speaking. Did you feel confident in
speaking Mandarin or Cantonese or English right?
Like growing up did that feel like something that you could do
to communicate? Yeah yeah I think back to like
when I was younger and the answer Her right now is no, I
(07:24):
don't feel very confident in speaking Mandarin.
I like barely know enough Cantonese to really be able to
converse, but I think when I wasyounger like that was my first
language, right? So having that Importance of
Being able to speak to them, hasslowly shifted.
But I think partly because it has been hard to find a space to
(07:49):
speak Mandarin. Especially after I moved to
college or like moved away from sadly.
I'm only able to speak it very conversationally, right?
And if I think about it, like I already have a hard time
speaking up in spaces where I speak English, right?
So, it is equally as hard, if not more to find spaces where
(08:11):
I'm speaking in my original first language but that I'm not
as connected with anymore. So I think there's that inner
Battle of like how can I even Take up space in like
English-speaking in like Works places that solely speak
English. So, I was curious, just what
about you? I do relate in, finding it
(08:33):
difficult to speak up in the spaces out here in in the
languages that you do speak. Mmm.
Yeah, I mean I hear you talk about language and the way that
you've connected with family or have struggled to connect with
family, because of language is so is so powerful because that's
(09:00):
like your roots, right, like where you come from and I think
there's so much Value and storytelling at least in my
family. And I hear you saying something
similar, right? But to broaden that in, like
(09:21):
speaking up in general, right? Using my voice.
It's interesting, I think, I think it's almost easier to,
like, uplift somebody else's andI in preparing kind of what we
were going to discuss today. The thought that kept on coming
(09:43):
into my mind was damn, the privilege that I have, right.
I felt some like, shame and guilt coming in for me, thinking
about, oh, I have the privilege of time and energy a supportive
work environment. So even launched a podcast,
(10:04):
right, the ability to create this platform with you.
I was taking stock of all the ways that and all the reasons
why I should not take up space and it's funny, right?
Like to people of color that areHaving this podcast episode be
(10:30):
about taking space. I was like, no, no, no I take it
back. I take it back.
I don't I don't deserve this, right?
And so I found myself just invalidating me and almost
feeling like a has had confessedOh my gosh.
So these are all the ways that Ihave privilege.
(10:52):
There was a much less focus on my marginalized identities,
which I think is different, right?
Like, I don't I don't typically silence those pieces of me.
It was interesting. Now that I have this place to
talk with you being Mexican, being a woman being lesbian like
(11:15):
that. All went out of it.
I was like, oh no, none of that matters.
Just let's just focus on why I should not be here and I feel
like I'm almost second-guessing myself and something that I was
like super excited to do with you and with everyone here at
common in Co. So yeah, I got in my head.
(11:37):
I totally got in my head and gotin this confused place, is that
just me? Oh, gosh, yeah, no, not at all.
And I just wanted to say to, it's like it, I'm just imagining
you as a therapist, like, you would never say the things that
you say to yourself right now. Like I don't deserve this space
(11:57):
to any of your clients but it's just interesting how like we are
kind of putting like separate expectations like ourselves.
The yeah, I definitely resonatedright.
I also like a somebody who like had access to higher education
graduated from University does not have a disability if I hold
(12:22):
a lot of privilege, right? And even though I'm Like Danny,
why don't you speak more? Like, let's hear your face is in
this way, I guess, right? Because I think also, I was
like, when you said like, damn, that pillage, it really sparked
the thought, process of just, intersectionality, right of my
identity as East. Asian, Chinese American in this
(12:46):
like races colors Society, right?
Like I am the model minority. It is a myth and also their ways
that I have You literally just said, I am the myth.
I think he just debunked yourself like what you were
(13:08):
saying. I didn't realize that.
But yeah, I mean call me out right now.
No. But um, great.
Like like that's the kind of like you saw the contradictory
evidence of the things that I say, it's like, The model
minority is a myth, right? He's like it, like Asian
(13:30):
Americans, especially like East Asian Americans, that, or east
Asians who have immigrated here were used.
As I racial was to be the least,I was like, quote unquote
better, right? Like making this sort of like
oppression Olympics of like who's better or like, you know,
like I'll always Advocate Advocate like for my community
(13:54):
and against. Of minority myth.
And also, I'm very aware of the ways that I have benefited from
this ideology. Mmm.
But so for me, it was so much more important and so much more
like present in how I am speaking with others.
And how much space I take up because I just thought that
other voices were more importantto uplift, right?
(14:17):
Especially with me as a TSA agent and then we talk about all
the Privileges that I have had, right?
Girl. End up being here, being able to
do this podcast, and I have cometo kind of grapple with the idea
that I'm still allowed to take up space, right?
Like my experiences are different, and I do hold a lot
(14:38):
of different identities, right? Like I am queer, I am not
inviting and neurodivergent, right?
So like having space and actually letting myself to take
up space for it. Different lived experiences that
I have has been new and has beenbeen kind of brought to the
Forefront because of this podcast.
(14:59):
Mhm, the words that stick out and are just sticking in my mind
right now are different and grappling, right?
Like grappling with model minority.
(15:22):
And both recognizing it as a very real thing but then also
recognizing it as something. That's like how the hell is this
real right? Like just grappling with
anything in. Your identity can be so
challenging and offer so much space to like invalidate you or
internalized. What people are telling you,
(15:44):
like the word grappling is a physical like fight, but that's
like all in like you're describing that.
It's just like all internal and something that you have to think
through and feel through, insidefeelings wise, write the word
different. You said that a few times.
(16:05):
It stuck out to me because I think different doesn't mean
better, right? Like there's no scale.
There's no measurement to that. It's just different you and I
are different from each other, you know, I'm thinking.
On the last episode with Paul and Caitlin, we are all
(16:26):
different from each other. Just like everybody on the
common & Co team and whoever is listening to this episode,
right? But it doesn't mean better.
It doesn't mean worse. It just means we're not the same
and I think the Hope in this podcast is to reach people.
(16:50):
Who are different, you know, going back to the importance of
Storytelling. It's a way to feel connected
with each other and I'm so hopeful that this will lead to
more connection. I feel more connected sitting
next to you right now, and I think it's really cool to be
able to share space with you loneliness.
(17:11):
To me is one of the shittiest feelings that someone can have
and feel like connection is the Opposite for myself, right?
So I appreciate feeling connected to you.
Yeah, I like that that's like connection is officer and yeah.
(17:31):
Thanks for sharing space, with me to finishing were gone.
It's been nice. Learning more about you.
Thanks for joining us today to talk about race privilege and
taking up space as people of color.
Part 2 of this conversation willbe airing soon to address
allyship and what we're doing with our privilege and before we
go back, Session, we're bringinginto ground game.
L a ground game is a horizontally manage, grassroot,
(17:55):
Grassroots group, building community, and Toro power in Los
Angeles. More bipod voices are being
heard as they're being the movement to the people door
knocking and uplifting marginalized voices and
experiences. And one account were
recommending to decolonize your social media feed is the trans
Latina Coalition. They are an organization serving
(18:19):
and Lifting trans gender non-conforming and intersex
individuals. They have a wide range of
resources and services includingadvocacy and policy change
leadership development violence prevention, providing food
clothing and ESL classes to the community and much much more.
They've got an amazing website and Instagram.
(18:40):
So please go over to them. They're actually just did a live
and they're currently looking tohire a lawyer to help with
immigration, work and legal services.
Has so again, please go over to their page if you're interested
or know someone who's interestedin, helping them out there, you
can also provide donations to them via those platforms.
(19:03):
That's it for today. See you next time, when we're
out of session,
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