Unlocking Your It Factor: Tameka's Journey of Transformation and Gratitude

Episode Transcript
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Nicole Tuxbury (00:01):
Hello everyone and welcome back to the next
episode of Overcome Yourself,the podcast.
I'm so excited to be here todaywith Tameka, and so go ahead,
Tameka, and take it away.
Please introduce yourself andtell us who you are and how you
help your clients.
I'm so excited.

Tameka Anderson (00:19):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
I am Tameka, aka Fun CoachTameka and the fun is an acronym
that stands for finding unmetneeds because I help leaders,
creators, entrepreneurs, parents.
I help them to strengthen theirself-awareness and inspire

(00:41):
healthy team dynamics in 90 daysor less.

I love that.
That is amazing.
So tell us about the eightfactor, because it's on your
shirt.
I love that.
We're both wearing our brandedshirt, so talk to me.

Absolutely so what happened was for me, I had
to realize that I am enough.
I was hearing a lot of peoplesay that it wasn't really
landing for me and me being avery logical, direct

(01:18):
intellectual, I needed stonecold facts.
What does that mean?
And then I heard a lot ofpeople saying you either got it
or you don't.
So I went on a quest and I saidI want to know what makes some
people have the factor and whatmakes others do not.

(01:40):
And guess what I found out?
I found out that everyone hasit.
The only issue is how do youfind it?
How do you find out your itfactor?
So in compiling all of thisresearch, I wrote my book.

(02:02):
You're it.
Because it took me nine years,8,000 hours of therapy, several
breakdowns, to get to the pointwhere I found my it factor.
And once I stepped into it, Iwas able to be authentic.

(02:23):
I was able to show up andattract people, places and
things that aligned with me andmy purpose.
And so this in a nutshell theit factor is you have, look this
space right here.
Right, this is who we think weare right, and then this is who

(02:46):
we think the world will accept.
So in the middle of this gaphere imposter syndrome, stress,
burnout, depression, anxiety,all of the things that prevent
us from being who we think weare Right.

(03:07):
So what I realize is that onceyou find your it factor and
focus solely on whoically as youare and attract people, places
and things that align to who youthink you are, so that's the it

(03:33):
factor.

That is amazing, amazing, and I love the acronym
of the fun code.
I think that's genius I justjust putting it out there and I
love how you kept this theme offun and games with the title of
your book.
You're it and and like that'sgenius because it's so memorable
and like it makes so much sense.
I absolutely love it.

(03:54):
But I'm going to guess that youdidn't start off here.
I want to hear a little bitabout the journey of overcoming
yourself to get to the pointwhere you get to help other
people now find their it.
So can we talk a little bitabout?

that.
Oh, you know, I will say I'mjust now learning how to embrace
the journey, because thejourney of like and I wanted to
say this to overcome yourself, Ithink that's genius, it's so
good, thank you.

(04:41):
Thank you, yes, but literally Ihave my eyes because things
don't work out as planned.
And so how do you move forward?
Right, it goes back to who doyou think you are Like.
I love that question.
I used to hate the questionwhen people like who do you
think you are?
I'm just like, yes, who do Ithink I am?

(05:02):
So what happened was I actuallygrew up in Chicago, illinois.
I grew up in foster carebecause my mom battled addiction
my entire childhood.
So I grew up in foster care,bouncing from home to home,
being labeled the bad kidbecause, right like I say, I was

(05:27):
misunderstood.
I was traumatized.
I had a lot of trauma going onand the adults, instead of
really digging deep tounderstand what was really
happening with me, they decidedlet's slap a label on her and
just push her right on through.
So I had very, very challengingtimes, mostly because it was a

(05:52):
lot that I didn't know how tonavigate in life.
So I fell a lot.
I tell my clients I can teachyou how to do this thing in 90
days, because it took me almost90 years, because it took me
almost 90 years, right, becauseit has taken me the time, the

(06:14):
journey, the.
I can tell you a thousand waysit does not work, because I've
experienced it.
And so I had to learn how toovercome myself, in a sense, and
overcoming the traumatic me bygoing to therapy, by cultivating

(06:42):
a community of supporters thatwill help me process.

Things will help me process things, by getting
mentors and coaches to help mealong the way, because I was a
hot mess Me too.
Me too, I've been there.

A hot mess, and so this is one of the reasons
why, like, when I work withclients, they're just like how
are you able to do this?
It's just like they don'tunderstand how I can help them
get from this hot mess to whothey think they are.
And I told them it's because Iwas there.

(07:21):
I was there, I had to learn,and what I will say is, because
I've been down that streetalready, I can tell you where
the potholes are, and so that'sliterally what I do.
I've learned from my journey.
I've learned from all themistakes, all the bruises, all
the bumps, all of the ways itdidn't work, all of the

(07:42):
relationships that I sabotagedin order to become who I am
today, to be able to teach myclients the same thing.

That is amazing.
I relate to that so much.
My mom passed away when I wasone and a half, and so I had a
different type of mom trauma,but nonetheless it was there.
And what I related to what youwere saying is, I remember that
what the adults were focused on,what they were concerned with,
what they wanted to fix, was mybehavior.

(08:16):
Not realizing that the behavioris a symptom of not feeling
safe, is a symptom of thedysfunction that I was growing
up in, right, and so, gettingdown to the root, um, you know,
when I finally managed, I had avitamin deficiency.
All I needed was some vitaminsand I my behavior would have

(08:37):
changed.
You know, um, like, obviously Ineeded therapy, I needed to
talk through a lot of things,but one of the big things was a
vitamin, and so I think it'ssuch a big deal to to shine a
light to that that you know, ifa kid is behaving badly, that's
a symptom of something elsethat's going on.
Like, don't focus on thebehavior, right, I love that.

(08:58):
I love that so much.
And so talk to me.
Like I named my podcast.
There's just a lot of thoughtsfrom everything you said After
my book, which is with my editor.
Editor, we'll be getting it outsoon.
Um, and it was.
I sat down one day and I thoughtwhat do I have 10,000 hours of

(09:18):
experience in?
Like, what can I teach aboutfrom from the?
You know, from my expertise andas someone who came from you
know, having lost my mom at anearly age, I had a an accident,
sorry, I had an accident on aboat and, um, it left me with a
lot of stuff and by the time Iwas 21, I went to the doctor and

(09:39):
I was told you have the back ofan 80 year old, you have a back
of a disabled elderly woman.
Um, you're gonna be in awheelchair in five years.
And so there was a lot and amiscarriage, and there was so
much.
And I remember being in panicattacks, crying every single day
, having panic attacks everysingle day, and so when I

(10:02):
finally sat down and I was like,what do I have these 10,000
hours of experience?
And it was overcoming myself howcan I find joy despite all this
bullshit that happened to me?
How do I actually enjoy thisjourney of life?
Like I don't want to bedragging myself through every
day, like that cannot, thatcan't be it.
Like this kid.

(10:23):
That's not, that cannot be whatI'm here for.
Just to be miserable andmedicate myself so I can go do a
job, and no like that.
That cannot be.
And so that's where I overcomeyourself.
And then my podcast was born,and so I relate so much to your
story being labeled the bad kidRight and and then carrying that
with me, even though I wasn't abad kid like I didn't do bad

(10:44):
things Right, I was just in alot of pain.
So I found that and that what Iwas lacking one of the things
that I was lacking that reallyhelped me change my perspective
was gratitude and learning topractice gratitude, and that
changed my life.
So I want you to talk to me alittle bit about what role
gratitude played in your journeyto discovering the it factor

(11:08):
and writing your book and doingall of these amazing things.

Oh, this is such a good question.
I will say this I didn't knowhow important gratitude was
until the pandemic happened.
Oh, so the pandemic happenedRight, we're all in the shutdown
period.
And then Clubhouse was born.
So, because Clubhouse was born,people wanted stuff to do, and

(11:36):
so I was one of those people andI remember one time I was just
so depressed.
I was just, it was the worst.
I just didn't feel good.
So I'm scrolling on Clubhouse tosee what's going on and see
what I can do to either numb ordistract myself.

(11:58):
Well, guess what?
There was this room titledDepressed.
Come in the room.
I'm like what?
Well, I go into this room notknowing what to expect now,
because I'm like wait a minute,what are we doing in here?
I go into this room and guesswhat they're doing.

(12:18):
They are literally practicinggratitude.
So, like the, the premise ofthe room was you.
When you raise your hand, comeup on stage and you say three
things that you're grateful foron stage, and you say three
things that you're grateful for.

(12:39):
As I'm sitting there listeningto these people, I begin to
smile uncontrollably because I'mjust like oh, that's so good.
Oh, oh, like.
And so I raise my hand and I'mlike let me see what three
things.
So I begin to start focusing onthree things that I'm grateful
for.
Right One of them.
I wrote I'm grateful for thisroom.
I was depressed before I camein here.

(13:00):
I am literally smiling from earto ear now.
So it's my turn.
I get up there and I begin tosay I'm grateful, like the first
thing I said was the room, andthen I talked about my children,
and then I talked about I'mgrateful because I'm launching a
book, because I was.
I was literally launching abook and I'm like this is so

(13:21):
amazing.
I never knew how importantgratitude was until gratitude I
would say gratitude found me.
It found me in a state, a very,very vulnerable state.
And now I know that whenever Iam feeling those things to open

(13:43):
up and to express gratitudeBecause I always have something
to be grateful for and when Ifocus on what I'm grateful for,
the world opens up for me andwhat I was sad about becomes
very, very minute.

So, yes, it goes to the back burner, right,
because that's that's exactlywhat I talk to people about.
It's about shifting yourperspective.
It's like putting on adifferent pair of glasses and
now you see things a little bitdifferently.
And to me, the magic is howsmall of a thing can you be
grateful for?

(14:24):
Like, I like to play a gamelike, right like the grass, the
oxygen, the AC in the house, thewater, the fact that we have
water.
You know, we take those thingsfor granted and gratitude.
There's like a certain part ofour brain that helps us feel it
and if we don't use it, it kindof shuts off right Like, just

(14:44):
like a muscle.
If we don't use it it's goingto atrophy.
But what's?
The only way to rebuild amuscle is to start using it
again, and then you can startmaking it strong right, just
like with my back.
So, yes, and the only way to dothat is to be like well, what
can I focus on?
What can I be grateful for?
And that changes your life, andnot only everything that you

(15:07):
said, but it also attracts moreof that thing to you.
So, if I'm grateful for the $2I've got in my wallet, well, you
know what You'll get, another$2 and you're like, oh, I'm
grateful for the $4.
And now, right, I'm grateful tobe filling out my wallet, I'm
grateful Whatever it is.
Whatever you want more of, Itell my clients find what you
can be grateful for right now,even if it's.

(15:29):
I'm grateful that I have socialmedia and I could literally be
like yo, I'm selling something,come buy it.
You could change your lifetoday, today, right, and so
there's so many things that wecan find to be grateful for.
So I love it, I love it, I loveit.
So tell me more about.
I want to hear a little bitmore about your book, and you

(15:51):
mentioned that there is a gifton your website for my audience.
I would love to hear a littlebit more about that.

Absolutely Okay .
So the full name of the book isYou're it, finding your it
factor so you can cultivate,curate and communicate it to the
world for purpose.
And so what happened with mewas I felt purposeless, right.

(16:20):
And so, because I feltpurposeless, I went on this
quest and I was like, well, howdo you find your purpose?
Like, what does that look like?
There's a big event thathappens.
Like, I'm waiting for thethings.
And I found this book calledthe Purpose Driven Life, right.

(16:40):
And so there's this like 40 dayjourney that you go on where
you do some activities and stuff.
And after doing that, I waslike, hmm, okay, that was good,
and I'm always thinking aboutfaster, more efficient ways of
doing things.
And so I said is there a faster, more efficient way to help

(17:05):
people find their purpose?
I was like, uh, yeah, and sothat's what I, that's what I did
.
I compiled everything that Iteach my clients and I said,
listen, the three P's are themost important things that you

(17:26):
need to understand when you'rethinking about the it factor.
Right, think of any celebritylike your favorite celebrity.
It factor, right.
Think of any celebrity likeyour favorite celebrity.
Think of that person.
Now, they have the it factor,clearly, because they're a
celebrity.
A lot of people have noticedthat in them.
But what is it that they have?

(17:47):
And I extracted the three, whatI call the three Ps, and that's
presence.
They have this commandingpresence about them, every
celebrity that you meet.
The reason why they'recelebrities is because of the
first P, which is the commandingpresence.
So I talk about how to honeyour presence, right?

(18:09):
That's the first P.
The second P is personality.
Every celebrity you meet,whether it's good or bad, they
have a personality that's verymemorable.
I'm talking about you cannotnot know their personality,
right?
So then I speak about how toreally refine your personality.

(18:34):
That's the second P.
And then the final P is power.
Every celebrity you know hasinfluencing power.
That is one of the reasons whybrands pay a lot of money for
brand endorsements, because theyknow if you love this celebrity
, all that celebrity has to dois say the word and you're going
to buy it, mm-hmm.

(18:55):
So yes, those three Ps are whatmakes us you know our it factor
really shine.
So that's what the book isabout.
The book is about really divingdeeper into the three Ps and
teaching people how to refine it.
And so what happens is thefirst step because, as you see,

(19:20):
I have this shirt that says itfactor.
Visual storyteller.
So, I thank you.
I have created five differentit factor types that everyone
will fall into one of them, or acombination of them, depending
on your influencing style.
Right, and so I have thisawesome quiz.

(19:42):
I think it's awesome, I knowbecause I made it, but it's on
my website, like the uh, your itbook website, and so you go on
there, take less than twominutes and it will bring you uh
up to the quiz.
You take the quiz and therethere will be like a PDF.

(20:02):
Like I think it's so cool.
I'm just saying you get a PDFof your itch factor and tips on
how you can really shine with it.
So I'm excited about it.

I love that.
That is amazing.
And I love what you said aboutthe connection, like when a
brand and a celebrity connect,because that's something I teach
my clients right.
Like becoming a guest expertwhen you come into someone
else's market, you coming in totalk to my audience right, you
have immediate credibility withmy audience because they're like

(20:37):
oh, I love Nicole, and ifNicole wants to have Tameka on
her podcast, that means I knowthat Tameka's got something good
to say, so I'm going to headover and listen to this episode
and I'm going to listen to whatshe has to say and that's
instant credibility, that'sinstant warming up that audience
and so, yeah, it makes a lot, alot of sense.
So I love that.
So let us know how can we stayin touch with you, Tameka?

Tameka.
Well so because people call mefun coach Tameka, you can
literally find me anywhere onthe web.
If you just type in fun coachTameka, my website is fun coach
Tameka.
Every social media handlerhandle fun coach Tameka.

There you go and then you building your brand,
and I absolutely love that.
Look at that presence, theauthority, and it's so memorable
.
I love it, I love it, I love it.
So thank you so much.
So, before we sign off here,what is your final tip, like
what's the biggest tip that yougive to your audience?

We want to know the hottest, the juiciest that
I love to leave is remember thegap.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think the world willaccept?
Close the gap.
Focus more on who you think youare.

(21:53):
Continue to become that person.
If you do not like the wayyou're showing up as that person
, all you have to do is changewho you think you are and you're
good to go.

I love that.
Thank you so much for joiningus, Tameka.
This has been amazing and wewill see you guys next time on
the next episode of OvercomeYourself, the podcast.
Thanks, bye.

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