October 19, 2024 • 29 mins
Reflecting on my recent road trip through the Pacific Northwest of America I found way more awe and wonder than the doom and gloom news headlines would suggest.
A great reminder of the importance of valuing your attention. After all, where you place your attention determines the experience of your life.
Want the fastest most effective way to turn your overwhelm into the joy, satisfaction and ease you're working so hard for? Book a Curiosity Call and discover what it's like to be coached by me. I look forward to meeting you.
🎙️ Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional
This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease, and joy.
But here’s the exciting news… I’ve moved beyond overwhelm.
If you’ve been listening and resonating with this message, you’ll love what comes next.
I’ve created a new podcast: Deep Heartfelt Success—because success should feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
🎙 Join me there → Search "Deep Heartfelt Success" on your favourite podcast platform and subscribe.
đź’ˇ Experience Deep Heartfelt Success for Yourself
Book a complimentary Deep Heartfelt Success Session—a no-pressure, transformative conversation designed to help you step into your next level of success with ease.
đź“… Book here
đź“š The Gently Rebellious One-Minute Journal
A simple, powerful way to stay focused on what matters most.
👉 Buy here
🌍 Website:
Explore practical tools, resources, and ways to work with me.
👉 Visit here www.heidimarke.co.uk
🎧 Free Audio: The One Minute Marke
Start prac...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
So I'm back from my three-weekroad trip in the Pacific
Northwest of America and, yeah,it was wonderful.
(00:21):
Thanks for asking what did Ilearn?
Oh, that sounds very serious,doesn't it?
Like you have to learnsomething if you go on a trip,
but I guess the point is, whywould I talk about it unless
there was something in it foryou?
And that's what's reallyimportant, isn't it?
There are many, many thingsthat I could tell you that I
(00:43):
think you'd like to hear.
That would be helpful, butrambling about all of them at
once, well, that's going to leadto overwhelm, right?
So instead, I want toconcentrate on the first thing
that's hitting my mind today asI prepare to talk to you, and
that is awe and wonder versusnews headlines.
(01:06):
So, from here in the UK, in thesouth of England, if I look at
news headlines about America, itlooks pretty bad, and I was
aware when we booked the trip atthe beginning of February this
year that we would be going justbefore an election of February
(01:27):
this year.
That we would be going justbefore an election, and we all
know the energy and theimportance that goes into the
American election.
It's important for many reasonsand it looks like from here
that there's masses of division,there's a lot of protests,
there's terrible things going on.
There was also recently,obviously, the hurricane, which
is really sad for the peopleinvolved.
(01:47):
In general, when I read aboutAmerica from here, it doesn't
look like a fun place to visit.
But this was my experience.
So I spent three weeks inAmerica just before an election
and I didn't see anythingterrible to do with the election
(02:11):
.
The worst thing I saw was inPortland and Seattle.
They've got a big problem withhomelessness and mentally ill
people on the street.
That's clear and that that'snot very nice and it's not much
fun and there's lots of reasonsfor that and I was aware of that
and I think it's probablyimproved.
So my expectations of it turnedout to be both horrible to
(02:36):
experience but also not as badas had previously been reported.
So I think they have made somechanges.
So I think they have made somechanges, but in terms of the
election and it feeling likeAmerica's this really divided
society, what I found reallyreally interesting was that I
saw equal numbers of Trump andHarris signs outside people's
(02:59):
homes Equal numbers and I didn'texpect that I certainly didn't
expect it.
In some of the areas that I knewwere more likely to be one or
the other, that was reallyinteresting and often it was
quite often actually it waspeople who were neighbours.
Because we can disagree, right,we can disagree without actual
(03:26):
horrible conflict.
I believe we're all entitled toour own ways of viewing the
world.
That's the point, isn't it, ofhaving a vote is that you can
express different opinions.
So that was interesting, reallyinteresting, because I thought
it would be more one way or theother.
Like clusters.
(03:47):
There wasn't.
There was a real balance, evenin traditionally Democrat or
Republican areas.
That was interesting and quitenice to see.
Well, I viewed it as nice tosee.
I know that's partly my gentlyrebellious lens, but I saw that
as interesting and refreshingand unexpected.
As interesting and refreshingand unexpected Then, in terms of
(04:08):
there's been lots of protestson college campuses.
I went to Oregon StateUniversity and there weren't any
protests.
That was nice and unexpected.
There were a lot of studentsgetting on with their lives,
beautiful campus.
What else, in the main, wasjust how much awe and wonder
(04:28):
there is in the PacificNorthwest.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I was really aware that I wasgoing to an incredibly beautiful
place and that's why I wasfeeling overwhelmed before I
went.
I just couldn't figure outwhere to go, what to do.
There's too much, what am Igoing to do?
What if I miss the best things?
All of that kind of normalpre-trip stuff.
But the truth is it's all aweand wonder Like.
(04:53):
Apart from those few thingsI've just told you, it was just
all awe and wonder.
People were incredibly friendly.
I had sunshine every day, apartfrom two mornings.
I kid you not, I flew in andout of the wettest city in the
United States with blue skies.
That's one of my things is, Iwant sunshine wherever I go and
(05:16):
I seem to manifest sunshinewherever I go.
So that was beautiful becauseit meant we actually got to be
outside.
We actually got to see thecountry, because we weren't
looking through the traditionalmist and rain.
That was really cool.
Even when we went up to the top, to the Washington coast and
the Olympic Peninsula, we onlyhad one day, one morning, and
(05:39):
that was the morning we wereleaving of rain, and even then
it wasn't terrible.
Rain was the morning we wereleaving, of rain, and even then
it wasn't terrible rain.
So that was really cool.
How amazing is that?
Beauty everywhere, beautifulweather, blue skies, friendly
people, mountains everywhere.
I kid you not, it's just like oh, there's a mountain, oh there's
a mountain, oh there's amountain.
Ridiculous number of mountains,ridiculous amount of beauty and
(06:02):
so much space.
So I often feel I don't knowabout you, but I often feel like
there's not quite enough roomfor me.
You know like I can feel verysquished and I'm really aware
that's my perception of takingresponsibility for other
people's happiness and that kindof thing, but it's also linked
to news reports about this whole.
There's too many people on theplanet.
(06:23):
We're ruining the planet.
I just went to America and therewas so much space, so much
beauty, so much clean air, cleanrivers, wild forests, so much
land, just so beautiful, andthey've got a really, really
good system, which I thought Iwouldn't like.
So over here, I kind ofstruggle with the whole.
(06:44):
I don't really know what thestatistics are.
I read somewhere once and Ireally need to look it up
properly Something like 95% ofour country is privately owned,
and even though we have theright to roam, there's just like
most of the countryside we'renot allowed in, which doesn't
seem particularly fair.
However, what was reallyinteresting about where I went
(07:06):
in America is there's masses ofland.
It's more privately owned thanhere.
I believe there's a lot of notrespass signs up.
There's no right to roam,that's for certain.
But what there is is a reallygood system of national parks
and it's set up so you arewelcome there.
There's none of this.
(07:27):
Oh no, we don't want youdriving in the countryside, even
though it's incredibly hard toaccess anywhere outside of
cities without a car in thiscountry.
It was just all set.
It was so welcoming, it's easyto park, it's easy to get to and
also I also noticed that therewas a real encouragement of both
(07:49):
accessing the semi-wild becauseit's semi-wild, because they've
set it up, so it's safe for youto access, but it's not so safe
.
They've removed all of thedanger and I really liked that
because I'm really tired ofbeing, I feel, overwhelmed by
messages of don't do this, thisis dangerous, make sure you've
done this.
(08:09):
Instead, there's just signs upsaying things like this is
coyote country, don't do this.
If you see a coyote, throwsomething at it.
If you have a child, pick themup.
Like, don't run.
Really interesting.
Like I just can't imagine asign like that in England
because the health and safety isinsane in my opinion.
I just find it too much.
(08:30):
Stop nagging me.
Anyway.
Bear country, you know, don'tdo this.
This isn't a good idea.
It's bear country.
I loved it Also.
What was interesting to me isjust the amount of forest wild
forest.
Now normally in this countrywhen I drive anywhere where
(08:51):
there's wood, it calls to me.
I just want to be in the wood,I want to explore the wood.
Over there drove past miles,hundreds of miles of dense wild
forest and I did not want to getout of the car and go in it.
I was so grateful for theorganized national parks where
there are trails that you can goon, and even then there's risk.
(09:15):
There's definitely risk If itwas snowing, if you met a bear.
There's risk involved and ashumans we need a certain amount
of risk, otherwise it justdoesn't work.
It reminds me of this gettinginto the state of flow.
To get into a state of flowthat beautiful, time-bending,
deliciously satisfying way ofworking or doing something,
(09:37):
there needs to be the rightbalance between ease and
challenge, and it feels likethat to me in general as we move
about.
So if everything's sterilized,it's a bit like the difference
between.
So National Trust properties,old houses, they have a lot of
ropes.
You're not allowed here, you'renot allowed there.
And then I went to DunblaneCastle and they didn't have that
(10:00):
.
They had to sit here, do this,do that.
And it was so nice, it was sogood because it just wasn't I
didn't feel so cut off from itand I really appreciated that.
It's not a criticism, it's justan observation.
This is what I like.
God, I'm sounding a little bitconcerned.
I'm going to offend today.
That's no good, is it?
Let's drop that rubbish.
It's a little bit of acriticism.
I don't want to be told not todo things all the time.
(10:22):
It's really boring.
I understand that you have toprotect old chairs, but putting
thistles and acorns on them tostop people sitting on them, I
don't know.
I'm just a bit bored of it.
I don't know it's getting a bittiring all the rules at the
moment.
For me, anyway, that wassomething I really enjoyed was
(10:44):
that freedom and safety togetherand yet there was danger.
It just worked for me.
I just loved it, and that meantI didn't resent being told that
I wasn't allowed on most of theland.
I just didn't resent it.
It's like, well, there's loadsof land.
I don't want to go on the wildbits.
I don't need to go and explorepeople's ranches.
(11:05):
That's their business.
They can keep their land.
There's masses of land.
So I guess there is a thingbetween we're a bit more
squished here.
I guess I don't know what theratio of people to open spaces?
I've no idea.
Anyway, that was exciting.
I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the feeling of openspace, plenty of land, plenty of
(11:26):
wild places Really exciting andjust so much ridiculous beauty.
What were the highlights for me?
Tricky one.
I'm actually writing my tripinto a book book partly so I can
re-enjoy it and partly becausethere's something for me in that
(11:46):
.
We go through periods where wenearly destroy ourselves by
being so overwhelmed.
The next stage for me wassorting myself out and arranging
my life so I could live in away that was better for me.
For me, the next part of thegentle rebellion is then
continuing to push outwards andexpand outwards more and more
(12:06):
and more, even though it feelslike you're at risk of going
backwards into mass overwhelm.
I've just noticed that inmyself and my clients we want to
keep things stable becausethere's no way we're going back
into those horrific days ofcomplete mass overwhelm and
exhaustion.
But the thing is, for me theoverwhelm is partly caused by
(12:28):
the fact that I really want tolive fully.
So if I stop myself going onbig adventures, that doesn't
help, because then I feelsquished and then I get itchy
feet and then I start sabotagingstuff around me.
So for me it's how can I go onbig adventures without overwhelm
?
How can I do it in a gentlyrebellious way?
How can I do it in a way thatworks for me, which is what my
(12:50):
Camino story was about earlierin the year and what the road
trip I did.
I did two road trips last year.
Road tripping is a reallyinteresting experiment for me.
And how can I kind ofdestabilize my life because all
of the normal things are goneand there's nothing stable
because you're literally movingevery day.
So there's so much unknown.
(13:11):
There's a lot ofunpredictability in a road trip
and I like playing with thatunpredictability and working out
what works for me, what's notso good for me.
How much beauty can Iexperience and still look after
myself?
Because the thing is you canput yourself in front of a
(13:31):
beautiful view but not see itbecause you're completely
overwhelmed.
So on a trip, I find it veryeasy to get overwhelmed by all
the things that need to besorted out or all the things
that could go wrong.
Or where are we staying tonight?
What are we eating?
Where's the toilet?
Where's the toilet's a big one,right?
Because when you're, whenyou're traveling, you're
completely at the mercy ofpeople allowing you to to use
(13:56):
their toilets or good places.
For me, a mark of a goodcivilization is having clean,
accessible toilets for everybody.
That just seems like afundamental thing for me.
And one thing that I did findreally good is that there are a
lot of restrooms on a road trip,and so grateful for that.
It makes such a difference.
We all need to go to the loo.
(14:17):
Come on, stop pretending we'relike, oh, I don't need to go to
the toilet, I don't need anyhelp from anyone else.
Yes, we do, and the servicesthat are set up for road
tripping are really good inAmerica, and I really
appreciated that, because Ididn't know, I didn't sleep well
every night.
I mean, you know, motels areinteresting places, aren't they?
(14:46):
Most of them are near mainroads.
There's a lot of noise.
There's always excess crazylight in any accommodation
anywhere.
I've noticed some hotels aregetting much, much better at not
having that happen.
Some of the hotels we stayed inhad tiny nightlights in the
bathroom, so you didn't have toswitch on the bright light at
night, and then that switches onthe fan and then there's
extract a fan for an hour afteryou've spent a penny in the
(15:07):
night.
That was good.
I appreciated that because I amone of those people I might not
have told you this before, butI'm one of those people who has
these blackout stickers.
You can buy these tiny littledots that black out LED lights,
and I bought them for my homeand they're brilliant, and I
(15:28):
keep them in my suitcase now, onmy backpack, and I am the
person who leaves them or, yeah,who sticks them in hotels so
that everybody can sleep,because it's really not good for
humans to have light everywhereat night.
There is research on this,anyway.
That's quite funny.
So, yeah, not every night did Isleep brilliantly, but in
(15:50):
general, I got enough sleep tobe able to be fully present in
the awe and beauty.
But, despite all of theexhausting aspects of organising
and being on a road trip, thereare two points in my road trip
that I'd want to share with youthat when I got there and I
stood fully in that moment,feeling my feet on the ground,
(16:13):
really absorbing the utterheart-filling, mind-opening
beauty the Redwoods in NorthernCalifornia.
Yes, we went off off what youcall it off piste.
(16:33):
We, we did the pacific, we didthe pacific not.
You can't, you can't do thepacific.
Northwest is enormous, soenormous.
It completely overwhelmed mewith choice.
As I've already said, we wentdown to northern california
because our road trip was takingus so close to the border.
We were like I can't not go andsee the redwoods, how can you
not go and see the redwoods?
(16:53):
It was just too.
So we drove a long way I thinkwe drove eight hours just to go
and see trees, because I lovetrees and these trees are truly
magnificent, the redwoods,honestly, and they're not very,
they're not huggable in any way.
So often I feel a connectionwith the tree in England and I I
(17:15):
might lean against it and youknow I feel sometimes I might
hug it, but in general I'm not,I'm not too much of a hippie
tree hugger, I'm more of a justlike absorbing that energy and
just feeling that earthiness andthat connectedness and beauty.
And I have a little chat with atree I like trees.
(17:36):
Anyway, with the redwoodsthey're not that friendly.
They don't need to be.
They're really old, but it'sjust so magical, so magical and
they've got life sussed.
They really have got lifesussed.
So this is what I worked out byreading some of the signs.
I don't like reading all theinformation signs.
(17:57):
I don't know about you, butwhen I'm out and about I don't
really want to be absorbingwords because my mind will eat
words for breakfast and then I'mjust in my head.
Then I want to be out of myhead and absorbing the world
around me.
So I didn't read all of thenotices, but I did read
something about Redwoods andthey've got life sussed.
(18:19):
So the reason they're so old isbecause they're so tough,
because they've worked it allout.
This is what they do.
They actually have reallyshallow roots, which is really
not what you expect, is it?
I mean they're ridiculouslytall so that I felt like a
shrunken person, like Alice inWonderland or more actually, I
felt like I was in Jurassic Park.
(18:40):
It was like the sheer scale isjust weird, like it's
mind-bending it's.
I'm sure it does something toyour space time continuum thing.
You know, like your experienceof time and space, it certainly
did with me.
Things sound different.
I don't know.
It's just amazing.
(19:01):
So good.
Anyway, the reason they're sotall is because they're so old,
because it's really hard to killthem, despite the fact they
have shallow roots.
Now they do sometimes fall over, but even when they fall over
they still seem to be alive,they just keep going.
So they have shallow roots butthey have sideways roots that
(19:21):
join to everyone else.
So everyone else, the otherredwoods, so pretty much the
only thing in a redwood forestis redwoods.
There isn't there's not a lotof anything else going on,
anything at all.
So usually when I go into awood there'll be lots of insects
, and insects seem to likebiting me.
It was really annoying.
Probably great for everybodyelse, because I'm like the
(19:41):
canary.
In the coal mine there were noinsects biting me.
There was a very strong pineysmell and that keeps the insects
at bay.
So they have not shallow rootsbut sideways roots, which
protects them.
Then they have this smell whichkeeps insects off them from
eating them, and then they alsoare relatively fireproof.
(20:02):
So they were hollowed out byfire redwoods and they were
still alive.
And we drove through the centreof two redwoods because they
were obviously drive-throughtrees.
Why wouldn't there be?
Because that's fun and amazing,and what else?
Oh yeah, they also, if they getstressed or damaged or for
(20:22):
whatever reason, they make burrs.
You know the lumpy bits on oldtrees.
Apparently inside there arelots of I don't think they're
seeds, but like ways of there'slike thousands of mini trees
ready to go off.
So basically they've got likelittle tree egg sacks on them
that you're not killing aredwood, I mean.
You know it's pretty tough,which is why they're so old.
(20:45):
So they're old because they'regood at surviving.
And now I'm getting anotherinsight, thinking so what is it
you need?
What is it you need to surviveand thrive?
So that was interesting.
That's a good question.
So the redwoods have treatcommunity to support them.
They're really good atpreventing insect attacks so
(21:07):
they stay healthy and they canstay alive regardless.
They're just amazing.
And they are genuinely so big.
I just can't.
I don't know how big they are.
I didn't think about the size Iphotographed a size of.
It's called the big tree, whichis just hilarious, because big
trees everywhere And've got that.
(21:28):
So I do know that I could readit and tell you how tall they
are, but who cares?
They're just magnificent,really, really just incredible.
And I stood there and I said tomy partner this this one moment
makes it worth it regardless,and once you have that one
(21:49):
moment on a big trip doesn'treally matter, does it like.
That's it, that was worth itand it was.
And the other moment, oractually moments, because they
were repetitive.
So after we'd been down tonorthern california, we drove up
highway 101 nearly the wholelength of it, and that takes in
the Oregon and Washington coastand the Oregon coast oh, my
(22:09):
goodness, like I'm.
I'm a beach person.
I grew up on an Island.
I love swimming, I love beingin the sea.
There's no way I was going inthat sea.
That sea is wild, wild and thedriftwood is basically redwoods.
So once again I felt tiny andlike I was on.
I could have been at any pointin history.
(22:31):
It's like going back in time.
I don't know why.
It just felt like that, it justfelt incredible.
And then there's these rocks,like so the most famous one is
Cannon Beach, and you think,well, who wants to go to the
most famous place?
Yeah, go there.
It's like so big, it feels likeit's just you on the beach.
That was another thing that Ifound really heart-filling is
(22:55):
you go to watch a sunset andother people gather the idea
that humans are terrible andhumans don't care about the
environment and I don't know allthat nonsense.
You go somewhere beautiful,people gather in awe and silence
.
It's, there's somethingbeautiful about that, that
(23:15):
sharing of just the sun.
The sun does it every day,right.
So why?
Why is it so important?
Because it's awe and wonder.
We crave awe and wonder.
Just so beautiful.
Yeah, the Oregon coast, cannonBeach, any of them, la Push,
just, oh, my goodness, justincredible.
(23:35):
So big, so wild, so much space,the energy of that sea, the sun
shining on those rocks, justincredibly beautiful, incredibly
beautiful.
So that was another moment intime of I would have done
anything to be here right now,anything.
(23:57):
So let's just wrap this up withmy initial intention, which was
the idea that if I place myattention, for me this is
largely a reminder of theimportance of controlling where
I place my attention.
Is where I'm placing myattention inducing fear and
overwhelm?
Or is it nourishing me?
(24:18):
Because the news headlinesaren't the truth and they're not
a balanced view of the world?
And there have been times in mylife as I've talked about
before the world.
And there've been times in mylife, as I've talked about
before, where I've completelyignored the headlines and then,
since COVID, I have got backinto reading them.
But I still just think why?
(24:39):
Why am I doing that?
And sometimes it's out ofcuriosity.
There's lots of reasons and itdoesn't really matter.
It's not, it's not the, it's notjust where you place your
attention, it's how you place it, isn't it?
And recognising, oh, is thatmaking me feel worse or is that
helpful?
Is it dragging me in?
How does it feel in my body?
Is it making me feel heavy inmy heart?
(25:01):
Things like that matter, ofcourse.
They matter because how you arein the world matters.
So in order to stand fully inthose moments of awe and wonder,
I have to be able to fullyallow my attention to rest in
that moment, to let go ofeverything else.
Now, it's easier when somethingis so wondrous that it
(25:23):
overwhelms me.
And it does overwhelm me.
That is one of the advantagesof being easily, easily
overwhelmed.
I'm also easily overwhelmed bybeauty, which also means
sometimes I just needed a restfrom looking at it.
Yes, seriously, because therewas just so much.
Just oh, all wonder.
Again, all wonder, all wonder.
Oh, my goodness, it's soamazing tears.
That doesn't mean this, thatdoesn't mean there was too much
(25:45):
of it, oh no.
It means it's safe to have arest and look again, absolutely
Just so good.
So where I'm placing myattention matters hugely.
Before I went, I was interestedto know how much of the picture
(26:07):
of America that is given to meby what I read matched what's
actually going on there.
And I have been there before,just before election cycles, but
not as close, not as close toan actual election date.
And so to find happy people,not talking about politics,
happily displaying well, I'massuming, happily I didn't talk
to them, you know but able todisplay opposite signs of voting
(26:31):
next to their neighbours.
I think that's a good sign.
And most people that I sawseemed happy and healthy and
there was a lot of community.
We ate one night because therewas nowhere else to eat, and we
found ourselves at thisroadhouse that was a bowling
alley and was doing barbecue andit felt like the whole
(26:53):
community was there.
You know, there was a toddlerin one of those baby pen things
while the parents bowled andeverybody was bringing each
other food.
There's just something reallywonderful about seeing that, you
know.
Know, seeing humans thrivingand getting on with each other
and helping each other out, andpeople were so friendly, so so
(27:17):
friendly, went out of their wayto help us, be nice to us,
grateful to have us in theirshop, little chats with people.
There's so much good in theworld, so it's been a big
reminder to me about controllingmy attention and being more,
(27:38):
even more deliberate, or justupping, upping the ante again,
recommitting to practices ofstarting my day with my morning
promise.
What am I committing to?
What's my intention for the day?
Where am I placing my attention?
What am I reading?
How is it making me feel?
Is it setting me off into doom,gloom, fear, anxiety, problem
(28:02):
solving?
Or is it uplifting me?
Is it making me celebrateeverything that's good around me
?
Because, just as the overwhelmand the ease coexist, the awe
and wonder and the terriblestuff, it all coexists.
Is it helpful to focus on onemore than the other?
(28:22):
Well, you get to decide.
It's your attention.
It's precious.
Thanks for listening.
It's lovely to be back.
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
So I'm back from my three-weekroad trip in the Pacific
Northwest of America and, yeah,it was wonderful.
(00:21):
Thanks for asking what did Ilearn?
Oh, that sounds very serious,doesn't it?
Like you have to learnsomething if you go on a trip,
but I guess the point is, whywould I talk about it unless
there was something in it foryou?
And that's what's reallyimportant, isn't it?
There are many, many thingsthat I could tell you that I
(00:43):
think you'd like to hear.
That would be helpful, butrambling about all of them at
once, well, that's going to leadto overwhelm, right?
So instead, I want toconcentrate on the first thing
that's hitting my mind today asI prepare to talk to you, and
that is awe and wonder versusnews headlines.
(01:06):
So, from here in the UK, in thesouth of England, if I look at
news headlines about America, itlooks pretty bad, and I was
aware when we booked the trip atthe beginning of February this
year that we would be going justbefore an election of February
(01:27):
this year.
That we would be going justbefore an election, and we all
know the energy and theimportance that goes into the
American election.
It's important for many reasonsand it looks like from here
that there's masses of division,there's a lot of protests,
there's terrible things going on.
There was also recently,obviously, the hurricane, which
is really sad for the peopleinvolved.
(01:47):
In general, when I read aboutAmerica from here, it doesn't
look like a fun place to visit.
But this was my experience.
So I spent three weeks inAmerica just before an election
and I didn't see anythingterrible to do with the election
(02:11):
.
The worst thing I saw was inPortland and Seattle.
They've got a big problem withhomelessness and mentally ill
people on the street.
That's clear and that that'snot very nice and it's not much
fun and there's lots of reasonsfor that and I was aware of that
and I think it's probablyimproved.
So my expectations of it turnedout to be both horrible to
(02:36):
experience but also not as badas had previously been reported.
So I think they have made somechanges.
So I think they have made somechanges, but in terms of the
election and it feeling likeAmerica's this really divided
society, what I found reallyreally interesting was that I
saw equal numbers of Trump andHarris signs outside people's
(02:59):
homes Equal numbers and I didn'texpect that I certainly didn't
expect it.
In some of the areas that I knewwere more likely to be one or
the other, that was reallyinteresting and often it was
quite often actually it waspeople who were neighbours.
Because we can disagree, right,we can disagree without actual
(03:26):
horrible conflict.
I believe we're all entitled toour own ways of viewing the
world.
That's the point, isn't it, ofhaving a vote is that you can
express different opinions.
So that was interesting, reallyinteresting, because I thought
it would be more one way or theother.
Like clusters.
(03:47):
There wasn't.
There was a real balance, evenin traditionally Democrat or
Republican areas.
That was interesting and quitenice to see.
Well, I viewed it as nice tosee.
I know that's partly my gentlyrebellious lens, but I saw that
as interesting and refreshingand unexpected.
As interesting and refreshingand unexpected Then, in terms of
(04:08):
there's been lots of protestson college campuses.
I went to Oregon StateUniversity and there weren't any
protests.
That was nice and unexpected.
There were a lot of studentsgetting on with their lives,
beautiful campus.
What else, in the main, wasjust how much awe and wonder
(04:28):
there is in the PacificNorthwest.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I was really aware that I wasgoing to an incredibly beautiful
place and that's why I wasfeeling overwhelmed before I
went.
I just couldn't figure outwhere to go, what to do.
There's too much, what am Igoing to do?
What if I miss the best things?
All of that kind of normalpre-trip stuff.
But the truth is it's all aweand wonder Like.
(04:53):
Apart from those few thingsI've just told you, it was just
all awe and wonder.
People were incredibly friendly.
I had sunshine every day, apartfrom two mornings.
I kid you not, I flew in andout of the wettest city in the
United States with blue skies.
That's one of my things is, Iwant sunshine wherever I go and
(05:16):
I seem to manifest sunshinewherever I go.
So that was beautiful becauseit meant we actually got to be
outside.
We actually got to see thecountry, because we weren't
looking through the traditionalmist and rain.
That was really cool.
Even when we went up to the top, to the Washington coast and
the Olympic Peninsula, we onlyhad one day, one morning, and
(05:39):
that was the morning we wereleaving of rain, and even then
it wasn't terrible.
Rain was the morning we wereleaving, of rain, and even then
it wasn't terrible rain.
So that was really cool.
How amazing is that?
Beauty everywhere, beautifulweather, blue skies, friendly
people, mountains everywhere.
I kid you not, it's just like oh, there's a mountain, oh there's
a mountain, oh there's amountain.
Ridiculous number of mountains,ridiculous amount of beauty and
(06:02):
so much space.
So I often feel I don't knowabout you, but I often feel like
there's not quite enough roomfor me.
You know like I can feel verysquished and I'm really aware
that's my perception of takingresponsibility for other
people's happiness and that kindof thing, but it's also linked
to news reports about this whole.
There's too many people on theplanet.
(06:23):
We're ruining the planet.
I just went to America and therewas so much space, so much
beauty, so much clean air, cleanrivers, wild forests, so much
land, just so beautiful, andthey've got a really, really
good system, which I thought Iwouldn't like.
So over here, I kind ofstruggle with the whole.
(06:44):
I don't really know what thestatistics are.
I read somewhere once and Ireally need to look it up
properly Something like 95% ofour country is privately owned,
and even though we have theright to roam, there's just like
most of the countryside we'renot allowed in, which doesn't
seem particularly fair.
However, what was reallyinteresting about where I went
(07:06):
in America is there's masses ofland.
It's more privately owned thanhere.
I believe there's a lot of notrespass signs up.
There's no right to roam,that's for certain.
But what there is is a reallygood system of national parks
and it's set up so you arewelcome there.
There's none of this.
(07:27):
Oh no, we don't want youdriving in the countryside, even
though it's incredibly hard toaccess anywhere outside of
cities without a car in thiscountry.
It was just all set.
It was so welcoming, it's easyto park, it's easy to get to and
also I also noticed that therewas a real encouragement of both
(07:49):
accessing the semi-wild becauseit's semi-wild, because they've
set it up, so it's safe for youto access, but it's not so safe
.
They've removed all of thedanger and I really liked that
because I'm really tired ofbeing, I feel, overwhelmed by
messages of don't do this, thisis dangerous, make sure you've
done this.
(08:09):
Instead, there's just signs upsaying things like this is
coyote country, don't do this.
If you see a coyote, throwsomething at it.
If you have a child, pick themup.
Like, don't run.
Really interesting.
Like I just can't imagine asign like that in England
because the health and safety isinsane in my opinion.
I just find it too much.
(08:30):
Stop nagging me.
Anyway.
Bear country, you know, don'tdo this.
This isn't a good idea.
It's bear country.
I loved it Also.
What was interesting to me isjust the amount of forest wild
forest.
Now normally in this countrywhen I drive anywhere where
(08:51):
there's wood, it calls to me.
I just want to be in the wood,I want to explore the wood.
Over there drove past miles,hundreds of miles of dense wild
forest and I did not want to getout of the car and go in it.
I was so grateful for theorganized national parks where
there are trails that you can goon, and even then there's risk.
(09:15):
There's definitely risk If itwas snowing, if you met a bear.
There's risk involved and ashumans we need a certain amount
of risk, otherwise it justdoesn't work.
It reminds me of this gettinginto the state of flow.
To get into a state of flowthat beautiful, time-bending,
deliciously satisfying way ofworking or doing something,
(09:37):
there needs to be the rightbalance between ease and
challenge, and it feels likethat to me in general as we move
about.
So if everything's sterilized,it's a bit like the difference
between.
So National Trust properties,old houses, they have a lot of
ropes.
You're not allowed here, you'renot allowed there.
And then I went to DunblaneCastle and they didn't have that
(10:00):
.
They had to sit here, do this,do that.
And it was so nice, it was sogood because it just wasn't I
didn't feel so cut off from itand I really appreciated that.
It's not a criticism, it's justan observation.
This is what I like.
God, I'm sounding a little bitconcerned.
I'm going to offend today.
That's no good, is it?
Let's drop that rubbish.
It's a little bit of acriticism.
I don't want to be told not todo things all the time.
(10:22):
It's really boring.
I understand that you have toprotect old chairs, but putting
thistles and acorns on them tostop people sitting on them, I
don't know.
I'm just a bit bored of it.
I don't know it's getting a bittiring all the rules at the
moment.
For me, anyway, that wassomething I really enjoyed was
(10:44):
that freedom and safety togetherand yet there was danger.
It just worked for me.
I just loved it, and that meantI didn't resent being told that
I wasn't allowed on most of theland.
I just didn't resent it.
It's like, well, there's loadsof land.
I don't want to go on the wildbits.
I don't need to go and explorepeople's ranches.
(11:05):
That's their business.
They can keep their land.
There's masses of land.
So I guess there is a thingbetween we're a bit more
squished here.
I guess I don't know what theratio of people to open spaces?
I've no idea.
Anyway, that was exciting.
I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the feeling of openspace, plenty of land, plenty of
(11:26):
wild places Really exciting andjust so much ridiculous beauty.
What were the highlights for me?
Tricky one.
I'm actually writing my tripinto a book book partly so I can
re-enjoy it and partly becausethere's something for me in that
(11:46):
.
We go through periods where wenearly destroy ourselves by
being so overwhelmed.
The next stage for me wassorting myself out and arranging
my life so I could live in away that was better for me.
For me, the next part of thegentle rebellion is then
continuing to push outwards andexpand outwards more and more
(12:06):
and more, even though it feelslike you're at risk of going
backwards into mass overwhelm.
I've just noticed that inmyself and my clients we want to
keep things stable becausethere's no way we're going back
into those horrific days ofcomplete mass overwhelm and
exhaustion.
But the thing is, for me theoverwhelm is partly caused by
(12:28):
the fact that I really want tolive fully.
So if I stop myself going onbig adventures, that doesn't
help, because then I feelsquished and then I get itchy
feet and then I start sabotagingstuff around me.
So for me it's how can I go onbig adventures without overwhelm
?
How can I do it in a gentlyrebellious way?
How can I do it in a way thatworks for me, which is what my
(12:50):
Camino story was about earlierin the year and what the road
trip I did.
I did two road trips last year.
Road tripping is a reallyinteresting experiment for me.
And how can I kind ofdestabilize my life because all
of the normal things are goneand there's nothing stable
because you're literally movingevery day.
So there's so much unknown.
(13:11):
There's a lot ofunpredictability in a road trip
and I like playing with thatunpredictability and working out
what works for me, what's notso good for me.
How much beauty can Iexperience and still look after
myself?
Because the thing is you canput yourself in front of a
(13:31):
beautiful view but not see itbecause you're completely
overwhelmed.
So on a trip, I find it veryeasy to get overwhelmed by all
the things that need to besorted out or all the things
that could go wrong.
Or where are we staying tonight?
What are we eating?
Where's the toilet?
Where's the toilet's a big one,right?
Because when you're, whenyou're traveling, you're
completely at the mercy ofpeople allowing you to to use
(13:56):
their toilets or good places.
For me, a mark of a goodcivilization is having clean,
accessible toilets for everybody.
That just seems like afundamental thing for me.
And one thing that I did findreally good is that there are a
lot of restrooms on a road trip,and so grateful for that.
It makes such a difference.
We all need to go to the loo.
(14:17):
Come on, stop pretending we'relike, oh, I don't need to go to
the toilet, I don't need anyhelp from anyone else.
Yes, we do, and the servicesthat are set up for road
tripping are really good inAmerica, and I really
appreciated that, because Ididn't know, I didn't sleep well
every night.
I mean, you know, motels areinteresting places, aren't they?
(14:46):
Most of them are near mainroads.
There's a lot of noise.
There's always excess crazylight in any accommodation
anywhere.
I've noticed some hotels aregetting much, much better at not
having that happen.
Some of the hotels we stayed inhad tiny nightlights in the
bathroom, so you didn't have toswitch on the bright light at
night, and then that switches onthe fan and then there's
extract a fan for an hour afteryou've spent a penny in the
(15:07):
night.
That was good.
I appreciated that because I amone of those people I might not
have told you this before, butI'm one of those people who has
these blackout stickers.
You can buy these tiny littledots that black out LED lights,
and I bought them for my homeand they're brilliant, and I
(15:28):
keep them in my suitcase now, onmy backpack, and I am the
person who leaves them or, yeah,who sticks them in hotels so
that everybody can sleep,because it's really not good for
humans to have light everywhereat night.
There is research on this,anyway.
That's quite funny.
So, yeah, not every night did Isleep brilliantly, but in
(15:50):
general, I got enough sleep tobe able to be fully present in
the awe and beauty.
But, despite all of theexhausting aspects of organising
and being on a road trip, thereare two points in my road trip
that I'd want to share with youthat when I got there and I
stood fully in that moment,feeling my feet on the ground,
(16:13):
really absorbing the utterheart-filling, mind-opening
beauty the Redwoods in NorthernCalifornia.
Yes, we went off off what youcall it off piste.
(16:33):
We, we did the pacific, we didthe pacific not.
You can't, you can't do thepacific.
Northwest is enormous, soenormous.
It completely overwhelmed mewith choice.
As I've already said, we wentdown to northern california
because our road trip was takingus so close to the border.
We were like I can't not go andsee the redwoods, how can you
not go and see the redwoods?
(16:53):
It was just too.
So we drove a long way I thinkwe drove eight hours just to go
and see trees, because I lovetrees and these trees are truly
magnificent, the redwoods,honestly, and they're not very,
they're not huggable in any way.
So often I feel a connectionwith the tree in England and I I
(17:15):
might lean against it and youknow I feel sometimes I might
hug it, but in general I'm not,I'm not too much of a hippie
tree hugger, I'm more of a justlike absorbing that energy and
just feeling that earthiness andthat connectedness and beauty.
And I have a little chat with atree I like trees.
(17:36):
Anyway, with the redwoodsthey're not that friendly.
They don't need to be.
They're really old, but it'sjust so magical, so magical and
they've got life sussed.
They really have got lifesussed.
So this is what I worked out byreading some of the signs.
I don't like reading all theinformation signs.
(17:57):
I don't know about you, butwhen I'm out and about I don't
really want to be absorbingwords because my mind will eat
words for breakfast and then I'mjust in my head.
Then I want to be out of myhead and absorbing the world
around me.
So I didn't read all of thenotices, but I did read
something about Redwoods andthey've got life sussed.
(18:19):
So the reason they're so old isbecause they're so tough,
because they've worked it allout.
This is what they do.
They actually have reallyshallow roots, which is really
not what you expect, is it?
I mean they're ridiculouslytall so that I felt like a
shrunken person, like Alice inWonderland or more actually, I
felt like I was in Jurassic Park.
(18:40):
It was like the sheer scale isjust weird, like it's
mind-bending it's.
I'm sure it does something toyour space time continuum thing.
You know, like your experienceof time and space, it certainly
did with me.
Things sound different.
I don't know.
It's just amazing.
(19:01):
So good.
Anyway, the reason they're sotall is because they're so old,
because it's really hard to killthem, despite the fact they
have shallow roots.
Now they do sometimes fall over, but even when they fall over
they still seem to be alive,they just keep going.
So they have shallow roots butthey have sideways roots that
(19:21):
join to everyone else.
So everyone else, the otherredwoods, so pretty much the
only thing in a redwood forestis redwoods.
There isn't there's not a lotof anything else going on,
anything at all.
So usually when I go into awood there'll be lots of insects
, and insects seem to likebiting me.
It was really annoying.
Probably great for everybodyelse, because I'm like the
(19:41):
canary.
In the coal mine there were noinsects biting me.
There was a very strong pineysmell and that keeps the insects
at bay.
So they have not shallow rootsbut sideways roots, which
protects them.
Then they have this smell whichkeeps insects off them from
eating them, and then they alsoare relatively fireproof.
(20:02):
So they were hollowed out byfire redwoods and they were
still alive.
And we drove through the centreof two redwoods because they
were obviously drive-throughtrees.
Why wouldn't there be?
Because that's fun and amazing,and what else?
Oh yeah, they also, if they getstressed or damaged or for
(20:22):
whatever reason, they make burrs.
You know the lumpy bits on oldtrees.
Apparently inside there arelots of I don't think they're
seeds, but like ways of there'slike thousands of mini trees
ready to go off.
So basically they've got likelittle tree egg sacks on them
that you're not killing aredwood, I mean.
You know it's pretty tough,which is why they're so old.
(20:45):
So they're old because they'regood at surviving.
And now I'm getting anotherinsight, thinking so what is it
you need?
What is it you need to surviveand thrive?
So that was interesting.
That's a good question.
So the redwoods have treatcommunity to support them.
They're really good atpreventing insect attacks so
(21:07):
they stay healthy and they canstay alive regardless.
They're just amazing.
And they are genuinely so big.
I just can't.
I don't know how big they are.
I didn't think about the size Iphotographed a size of.
It's called the big tree, whichis just hilarious, because big
trees everywhere And've got that.
(21:28):
So I do know that I could readit and tell you how tall they
are, but who cares?
They're just magnificent,really, really just incredible.
And I stood there and I said tomy partner this this one moment
makes it worth it regardless,and once you have that one
(21:49):
moment on a big trip doesn'treally matter, does it like.
That's it, that was worth itand it was.
And the other moment, oractually moments, because they
were repetitive.
So after we'd been down tonorthern california, we drove up
highway 101 nearly the wholelength of it, and that takes in
the Oregon and Washington coastand the Oregon coast oh, my
(22:09):
goodness, like I'm.
I'm a beach person.
I grew up on an Island.
I love swimming, I love beingin the sea.
There's no way I was going inthat sea.
That sea is wild, wild and thedriftwood is basically redwoods.
So once again I felt tiny andlike I was on.
I could have been at any pointin history.
(22:31):
It's like going back in time.
I don't know why.
It just felt like that, it justfelt incredible.
And then there's these rocks,like so the most famous one is
Cannon Beach, and you think,well, who wants to go to the
most famous place?
Yeah, go there.
It's like so big, it feels likeit's just you on the beach.
That was another thing that Ifound really heart-filling is
(22:55):
you go to watch a sunset andother people gather the idea
that humans are terrible andhumans don't care about the
environment and I don't know allthat nonsense.
You go somewhere beautiful,people gather in awe and silence
.
It's, there's somethingbeautiful about that, that
(23:15):
sharing of just the sun.
The sun does it every day,right.
So why?
Why is it so important?
Because it's awe and wonder.
We crave awe and wonder.
Just so beautiful.
Yeah, the Oregon coast, cannonBeach, any of them, la Push,
just, oh, my goodness, justincredible.
(23:35):
So big, so wild, so much space,the energy of that sea, the sun
shining on those rocks, justincredibly beautiful, incredibly
beautiful.
So that was another moment intime of I would have done
anything to be here right now,anything.
(23:57):
So let's just wrap this up withmy initial intention, which was
the idea that if I place myattention, for me this is
largely a reminder of theimportance of controlling where
I place my attention.
Is where I'm placing myattention inducing fear and
overwhelm?
Or is it nourishing me?
(24:18):
Because the news headlinesaren't the truth and they're not
a balanced view of the world?
And there have been times in mylife as I've talked about
before the world.
And there've been times in mylife, as I've talked about
before, where I've completelyignored the headlines and then,
since COVID, I have got backinto reading them.
But I still just think why?
(24:39):
Why am I doing that?
And sometimes it's out ofcuriosity.
There's lots of reasons and itdoesn't really matter.
It's not, it's not the, it's notjust where you place your
attention, it's how you place it, isn't it?
And recognising, oh, is thatmaking me feel worse or is that
helpful?
Is it dragging me in?
How does it feel in my body?
Is it making me feel heavy inmy heart?
(25:01):
Things like that matter, ofcourse.
They matter because how you arein the world matters.
So in order to stand fully inthose moments of awe and wonder,
I have to be able to fullyallow my attention to rest in
that moment, to let go ofeverything else.
Now, it's easier when somethingis so wondrous that it
(25:23):
overwhelms me.
And it does overwhelm me.
That is one of the advantagesof being easily, easily
overwhelmed.
I'm also easily overwhelmed bybeauty, which also means
sometimes I just needed a restfrom looking at it.
Yes, seriously, because therewas just so much.
Just oh, all wonder.
Again, all wonder, all wonder.
Oh, my goodness, it's soamazing tears.
That doesn't mean this, thatdoesn't mean there was too much
(25:45):
of it, oh no.
It means it's safe to have arest and look again, absolutely
Just so good.
So where I'm placing myattention matters hugely.
Before I went, I was interestedto know how much of the picture
(26:07):
of America that is given to meby what I read matched what's
actually going on there.
And I have been there before,just before election cycles, but
not as close, not as close toan actual election date.
And so to find happy people,not talking about politics,
happily displaying well, I'massuming, happily I didn't talk
to them, you know but able todisplay opposite signs of voting
(26:31):
next to their neighbours.
I think that's a good sign.
And most people that I sawseemed happy and healthy and
there was a lot of community.
We ate one night because therewas nowhere else to eat, and we
found ourselves at thisroadhouse that was a bowling
alley and was doing barbecue andit felt like the whole
(26:53):
community was there.
You know, there was a toddlerin one of those baby pen things
while the parents bowled andeverybody was bringing each
other food.
There's just something reallywonderful about seeing that, you
know.
Know, seeing humans thrivingand getting on with each other
and helping each other out, andpeople were so friendly, so so
(27:17):
friendly, went out of their wayto help us, be nice to us,
grateful to have us in theirshop, little chats with people.
There's so much good in theworld, so it's been a big
reminder to me about controllingmy attention and being more,
(27:38):
even more deliberate, or justupping, upping the ante again,
recommitting to practices ofstarting my day with my morning
promise.
What am I committing to?
What's my intention for the day?
Where am I placing my attention?
What am I reading?
How is it making me feel?
Is it setting me off into doom,gloom, fear, anxiety, problem
(28:02):
solving?
Or is it uplifting me?
Is it making me celebrateeverything that's good around me
?
Because, just as the overwhelmand the ease coexist, the awe
and wonder and the terriblestuff, it all coexists.
Is it helpful to focus on onemore than the other?
(28:22):
Well, you get to decide.
It's your attention.
It's precious.
Thanks for listening.
It's lovely to be back.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.