November 30, 2024 • 40 mins
🎙️ Feeling overwhelmed as the year wraps up? You're not alone. In this episode, I acknowledge the unique end-of-year pressures and share 3 gently rebellious practices to help you find space, ease, and joy amidst the chaos.
Discover how small shifts like The Morning Promise, Neutral Noticing, and Gently Rebellious Gratitude can ease overwhelm and reconnect you with yourself.
✨ Ready to create space for joy, even in the busiest times? Tune in and explore how to end the year feeling lighter and more aligned.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to this week's episode.
So this week I want toacknowledge and support you and
myself in gently preparing for2025 without adding to your end
(00:24):
of year overwhelm.
In fact, much more than that Iwant to acknowledge the crazy
end of year overwhelm while alsoacknowledging that, sitting
behind all of that, there's somuch to do, there's so much to
get done, there's work to finish, there's Christmas to prepare
for all of the things, oftenwith low energy or winter
(00:45):
snuffles, certainly not enoughlight, with all of that going on
.
Apologies there for our lovely,lovely listeners on the other
side of the world who have theopposite light situation.
I'm so happy for you that youhave daylight at the moment.
The days do feel rather shorthere, although I keep reminding
(01:07):
myself at this time of year.
This is when the sunrise andthe sunset is brought to you on
a plate.
You don't have to get up atfour in the morning to see the
sunrise, or stay up late atnight.
It's here at four o'clock inthe afternoon and it's often
very beautiful.
It's just I'm not ready for itbecause there's stuff I want to
do.
Anyway, back to this week'stheme.
(01:29):
So I want to acknowledge thecrazy end of year overwhelm
while also acknowledging thatall of that will be over pretty
quickly and hopefully not over,but enjoyed.
Not just survived, but on topof that, the back of our minds
or certainly the back of mine,and I know my clients too,
(01:51):
several of whom are goingthrough big career transitions.
January the 1st holds thisbackground sway over us, because
we always want more.
We want less stress andoverwhelm so that we can
thoroughly enjoy our lives.
We want more energy so we cando the things.
We always want more.
We want less stress andoverwhelm so that we can
thoroughly enjoy our lives.
We want more energy so we cando the things we long to do.
We want work that reallysatisfies us, and the problem is
(02:15):
that's just adding to the endof your overwhelm, isn't it?
So let's dive in.
I'm recording this on oh, mygoodness, I don't even know what
the date is.
I'm recording it the Tuesdaybefore I'm releasing it and I'm
releasing it on Sunday, thefirst Sunday of December.
I really must put the calendarback in front of my desk.
(02:40):
It's over the other side of theroom and I can't quite see the
date.
Oh, who cares what date it is.
Anyway, it's late November andif you're anything like me, your
to-do list is growing as theholidays approach.
Hello to my lovely American,I'm going to call you.
I'm going to call you allcousins, just because I have
American cousins, but my lovely,lovely American listeners, who
(03:04):
also have Thanksgiving toprepare for or to enjoy, or both
, there's just a lot to wrap up,isn't there?
There's a lot to wrap up beforethe end of the year Christmas
presents, work, projects,there's all the socialising, and
then there's the hiddencraziness of family visits,
(03:25):
where you long to have thisconnection and this peace and
love and joy, and it's alwaysfar more complex than we wish it
was, isn't it?
Anyway, I'm very much lookingforward to spending time with my
family this Christmas.
My granddaughter is here.
(03:45):
We go again me not knowing howold she is.
She was born in August, soshe's just over a year.
She's just started walking, sothat's going to be interesting
with the Christmas tree, sothat's going to be lovely.
So there's lots to look forwardto.
But in the back of my, in theback of my mind and I know my
clients' minds are but whatabout the new year?
(04:08):
What about the new year?
I want more for 2025.
And by more I mean more energy,more vitality, more actually
acting on the things that I'minspired to do.
I want better health.
I want to be fitter, alwaysbecause I'm getting older and I
(04:30):
just want to get older withgrace and flexibility and energy
and health.
So I'm always looking at waysto tweak my very rebellious and
gentle exercise routine.
There's always more, isn't there?
Basically, there's always morejoy to be had.
That's what I mean.
Ultimately, it's all about joy.
(04:51):
How can we have more joy?
Well, mainly, that requiresmaking space for it.
Actually, it's not about doingmore, and that is the heart of
the gentle rebellion, isn't itI'm rebelling against is the
heart of the gentle rebellion,isn't it?
I'm rebelling against having todo more and push myself harder
in order to have more joy,knowing that that doesn't work,
(05:12):
but also, with self-compassion,knowing that that is still my
default way of doing things.
Oh well, if I do more, I'llachieve more.
It doesn't work.
It really doesn't work for me,because I end up clogged and
overwhelmed and workingincredibly inefficiently and
then just losing my energy, andthat's not how I want to work.
(05:34):
So that's my constant discoveryis how can I achieve more?
By doing less, by working moreeffectively and mainly in a more
focused way.
So really acknowledging whatmatters to me, what is most
important here In the end, it'swhat's the one thing that's
going to bring the most joy,what's the one thing that's
(05:55):
going to move that project on inthe best possible way?
There's always one thing that'smore important, but I don't
know about you, but I cannot seethe wood for the trees.
When I'm exhausted andoverwhelmed, everything's
important then, and clearlythat's just not true.
And that's the trick, right,the stabilizing of the mind by
(06:16):
acknowledging it getsoverwhelmed and then doesn't
work that well or it doesn'twork as well at all.
It actually doesn't work thatwell.
When it's overloaded andoverwhelmed, it just doesn't
work as well at all.
It actually doesn't work thatwell.
When it's overloaded andoverwhelmed, it just doesn't
work.
Everything's important,everything's an emergency.
My nervous system goes intohigh alert and then I start
getting exhausted.
I'm not available for that.
(06:38):
So in this episode I want totalk about easing some of that
end of year pressure, instead ofpiling more onto a plate in the
effort to get everything done.
So let's look at some gentlerways to make the end of the year
feel lighter, feel lighter andthen, starting 2025, feeling
(07:00):
more aligned, more in tune withyourself.
Are you ready?
Ruby Roo's ready.
She's just turned up with asquirrel to get in her squirrel
miles.
That's how she keeps fit.
Anyway, it's not a realsquirrel, obviously.
Yesterday she destroyed one ofthe nutmeg.
So how old's nutmeg, nutmegseven.
(07:21):
And when she had her firstChristmas, she got Christmas
squirrels.
And last night Ruby Roo tookthe guts out of the Christmas
squirrel, the little squeaky bit.
So that's gone, that's died.
Anyway, back to you, back toyou and your gentle rebellion.
So let's start by justacknowledging what this time of
(07:41):
year usually feels like.
Just acknowledging, justneutrally noticing.
Oh yeah, here I am again.
It always feels like this thedays are getting shorter and
shorter, unless they're gettinglonger and longer.
Hello, new Zealand andAustralia.
But the days feel like they'recrazy.
Right, this just feels like I'mrunning out of time.
(08:02):
It's nearly the end of the year.
There's all these things I needto finish before this date so
that I can have some time off,or even not because you're
having time off, but justbecause that's the way the
business you're in or theorganization you're in works.
And there is just this reallyhard deadline, a hard deadline
and a hard deadline, a difficultdeadline.
(08:23):
There are things that have tobe completed before a certain
date.
It's dark.
There's added socialising,which can be lovely, but also
another pressure.
It could be hard to sleepbecause of the pressure and yet
it's really dark.
So you kind of feel like youshould be hibernating, getting
(08:45):
extra sleep.
There's just so much to do, somuch to wrap up.
It's not just no pun intended.
My partner would love this.
He loves puns.
Wrap up Christmas presents,wrap up travel plans, wrap up
work projects Everything isabout wrapping stuff up all of a
sudden.
It's just crazy.
(09:07):
So is it surprising if you'refeeling completely stretched?
Is it surprising?
Not really.
So I just invite you toacknowledge that I'm
acknowledging it for you.
So I just invite you toacknowledge that I'm
acknowledging it for you.
I see you.
I see you as a reflection of myown madness of doing that when
I used to do it that way.
(09:29):
How am I feeling now, a fewyears into my gentle rebellion?
I can see the pressure.
It's like having distancebetween me and it.
I can sit back from it and lookat it and say, oh, there's some
pressure there to finish.
That Is it real, particularlyas I'm now my own boss, so a lot
of the pressure is self-imposed.
(09:49):
But yeah, there's a lot I wantto complete.
I mean, if I okay, I will.
I was going to say if I showedyou my to-do list this isn't a
written down one, because I havereally good systems for keeping
this out of my head but if Ijust share with you some of what
I'm trying to do before the endof the year, maybe you'll see
that it's not just you.
(10:10):
It's not that I want less.
That's really important.
This isn't about wanting lessand having less.
There are two books.
There's actually four books,but I've realistically changed
it to two books.
That I wish to have done beforeChristmas, but there were
actually four books.
So some of you may remember, ifyou've been listening that long,
(10:32):
that a year ago I was writing abook that would be the Gentle
Rebel's Guide to the Ear, ajournal with gently rebellious
practices and reminders in itand space for you, and it didn't
get completed.
I did, however, gift it to themembers of the Gentle Rebel
community and I also used itmyself, and it was also used for
(10:56):
the basis of a very powerfulworkshop that I gave within the
community at the beginning ofthe year, which helped review
the previous year and dig deepabout what you really wanted and
access those heartfelt thosegenuinely heartfelt priorities
for the year.
And then everybody had a wordfor the year and I know that it
(11:18):
had a really powerful effect onthe people who were there and I
had to accept at the time thatit wasn't going to be published.
I just ran out of time.
So I relieved the pressure bynot finishing that project,
which has to happen at times.
Also, it did actually feel likeit needed to be tested first,
but I really wanted to publishit so more people could test it.
(11:42):
Right, I'd have given it toeverybody just to test, but I
ran out of time.
I don't have those kind ofskills to get it published that
fast.
A journal is different than mybook.
I learned how to publish a book.
I haven't yet learned how toformat a journal and I don't
like putting half-hearted stuffinto the world.
(12:03):
I was going to say I was goingto get trapped into the mind
trick of doing a half-assed job,which over here in the Gentle
Rebel community means doingsomething that's of really high
standard but that you think'snot good enough and being brave
enough to release it into theworld.
It literally wasn't ready intime and there is a deadline
with the journal, isn't there?
However, this year I've takenthat journal completely.
(12:27):
It's going to be 10 timesbetter.
I mean, I'm really proud ofwhat I'm currently creating, but
there's a deadline there, right?
I've also decided and I didmention it a few episodes ago
about creating a workshop.
I used to do what I called aturn of the year pause.
(12:48):
It started as three workshops,so it was reviewing the year,
dreaming up the next year andthen planning, but I actually
prefer to do it in one go now,just because I personally find
it quite exhausting when there'sthree workshops and something I
sign up to.
I just want to do it in one go,and we did successfully do it
in one go within the communitylast January.
(13:09):
So I'm going to be offeringthat for free.
I was thinking of charging asmall amount for it, but, um,
why am I not?
Because I just want to do itfree.
So I'm going to there you go,and that will be an opportunity
for you to start the year withme, if you would like to.
So keep that in mind.
(13:29):
There'll be more details coming.
Anyway, that needs planningright and because I take time
off at Christmas, it needs to beplanned.
I won't have two working weeksbefore the workshop and I also
need to get the journal done.
These things really matter to me.
(13:50):
These are really important.
Imagine if you had time with meat the beginning of the year to
start your year in the best waypossible for you.
Imagine if you had that journal, which then supported you in
those commitments you madeyourself, all those insights.
You got all that connection toyourself, living in a way that
(14:11):
works more for you.
Imagine the effect on people.
I'm desperate to get thismessage out to more people to
say you can live your life yourway, in a way that works for you
, and stop pushing againstyourself, because I know the
damage and I also know the joyseeing people light up.
I know for myself thedifference it makes when I just
(14:32):
let myself off the hook and saidyeah, heidi, there's a
different way, let's find it,it's just so.
That brings me joy.
That's my deeply satisfyingwork.
So I want to do these things.
Do I have to do these things?
No, but that's ridiculous,because it feels like I have to
do them as in my heart isbursting.
My mind is overflowing withideas that I really want to do
(14:54):
that.
I don't want to miss anotheryear because it's timely, right.
This time of year does matter.
It does matter how you startthe year.
Now we can argue, and we do,because we're always going to
rebel against anything that themind's doing is like a tyranny
thing on us.
Oh, you missed the beginning ofthe year.
Now it's too late.
You have to wait till January.
That's true.
(15:16):
You can start your yearwhenever you want.
You can restart it all the time, and we do.
However, there is somethingbeautiful about an intentional
start and it's just anopportunity to grab and I want
it, so I'm going for it.
So there's that pressure on topof all the other things I'm
doing.
I can't remember what I'm doing.
Now.
I'm growing my YouTube channel.
I'm.
(15:39):
What's the other book?
Oh, the other book is a gentlyrebellious approach to travel
using the Pacific Northwest.
So it's a cross between aguidebook to the Pacific
Northwest, but not your normalones, because they really annoy
me.
I read a lot of guidebooks andthey just added to my overwhelm.
They just seem like lists,overwhelming lists of things to
(15:59):
think about and things to do,and, oh my goodness, I couldn't
read them, it was just doing myhead in.
So I wanted to create somethingjust inspiring and uplifting.
And yeah, you can do it.
Of course you can do it.
And this is why you might wantto, because look at this, or in
wonder, or in wonder, or inwonder, do it.
Go on, but do it your way.
(16:20):
It's that kind of travel book.
So it's not just a travel book,it's an inspiring through
travel for you to do things yourway.
I don't think I'm explaining itvery well.
Anyway, that's because it's notfinished yet and I know that as
I write it I will be able toexplain it better, because
that's one of the joys ofwriting.
(16:40):
But writing takes time.
It takes for me, it takesdigging deep, it takes
reflection, it takes a capturingof those insights and thoughts
I get and those funny storiesand then collating it all.
So two books at the moment.
Now, the travel book thePacific Northwest, gently
(17:02):
rebellious thing doesn't need tobe published for Christmas,
there's just no.
So I'm not going to do that,because I want it to be better
than it would be if I did it forChristmas.
So I'm okay with that.
But that's already adding toJanuary's project list.
So I can see that.
So I've shifted something, butit's still.
I'm still writing it now andI'm loving it.
(17:23):
I was writing it the weekend.
It was great fun, partlybecause I get to revisit all
those memories.
So even if nobody ever read thebook which I'm sure they will
but even if nobody did for me,it's good because it's making me
reflect.
The other day, simon got somephotos done.
You know how, like all photosare digital so you can look at
(17:43):
them, but it's not the same.
I used to love it when youyou've got them printed, even if
you've been, half them willnever look at them.
I did something different aboutholding a photo, so he just got
some quite random ones done.
Oh, my goodness, I was justoverwhelmed the good kind of
overwhelm, overwhelmed with joyand gratitude that he and I
decided to gift ourselves thisadventure.
(18:05):
We really had an amazing time.
It was life-changing, as in Idon't know, just a connection to
that, a connection to all thatis possible when you make space
for it.
It was just so good, so good.
I'm really grateful.
So what else am I up to?
(18:26):
I can't remember.
I'm terrible at this.
I didn't mean to startoffloading my to-do list onto
you.
But anyway, I have a lot ofstuff going on and that's just
some of the big projects thatare currently on my mind while
I'm recording this and sharingsome of it, and I've just
thought of something funny thatgets me off the hook for not
remembering the rest of it.
(18:46):
The reason I can't tell you therest of it is because I have a
system where I don't keep stuffin my head.
I know this partly drives mypartner mad because he'll say
have you done this?
I'm like I don't know, but Ican check my system.
I don't know because that's notin my head.
Can you tell me this?
No, but it's in my system.
I don't hold stuff in my headanymore.
I just don't.
(19:08):
If you don't know about GTD,there are episodes on it, I
think from two years ago.
Oh, really good thing which Ididn't realize.
So my podcast platform,buzzsprout, who posts it all out
simultaneously to Apple andSpotify and everywhere.
Really cool, love Buzzsprout.
(19:28):
They've created an updated webpage for everybody's podcast and
what's really cool about it andwas driving me mad before, is
it has a search button so youcan put in GTD or something, or
getting organized.
Something should come up.
The episode that might behelpful was with Myles Seekeren.
(19:49):
I'm always worried I say thatwrong, sorry, myles because he
was the coach I had for GTD whohelped me set up my systems,
improve my systems, to free mymind.
So that's worth checking out ifyou're interested.
Anyway, where are we?
Let's focus back on you so Iget you.
I see you this kind of stuffgoing on at this time of year.
(20:13):
This kind of pressure does feeluniquely seasonal the wish to
finish things at the same timeas the darker period of year,
the days for this half of theglobe getting shorter rapidly.
Winter sniffles are verypopular.
Now they're popping up all overthe place.
(20:34):
This unique pressure needs to beacknowledged.
Needs to be acknowledged, justacknowledging it with
self-compassion.
Look at everything you'retrying to do.
Is it no wonder you feelpressured and overwhelmed?
Is it no wonder you feel likethere's no space for you?
So I invite you to acknowledgeit with me, to be held in that
(20:58):
acknowledgement with love.
So this is the heart of thegentle rebellion this noticing
for yourself, this givingyourself some permission to
become aware of the need formore space for yourself,
acknowledging how pressured youfeel without having to do
(21:21):
anything about it.
So this is neutral noticing.
Notice, completely neutrally,everything that's going on right
now.
Just acknowledge it.
If it helps, you can write itall down and see.
But if that adds to youroverwhelm, maybe not.
Whatever works for you, youhave to feel into this for
yourself, don't you?
That's what the gentlerebellion is.
(21:42):
It is finding your way.
So you have to decide.
The podcast is designed toinspire you to do that, not to
tell you what to do ever.
So what if you could giveyourself permission to slow down
even a little, to create spacefor yourself amid the busyness,
(22:06):
just moments, not necessarilyeven getting to the layer of
saying no to things, that's.
That's another layer, right,but just starting with the
acknowledgement that you arefeeling pressure, that there is
no space for you or it feelslike there's no space for you,
notice how that feels.
Then notice any judgment aboutthat.
(22:28):
See if you can let go of thejudgment or at least just notice
it.
Acknowledge the self-judgment,the self-pressure, the internal
pressure.
The conversations in your head,the thoughts, the feelings
about the musts and the shouldsand the ought.
Pressure the conversations inyour head, the thoughts, the
feelings about the musts and theshoulds, and the oughts and the
having to get things done withthis deadline, just
acknowledging all of that andnotice how that feels, and then
(22:51):
noticing how would it feel ifyou could find space, if you
could give yourself permissionto slow down for moments where
you just reconnect yourself.
Now, by this I mean once you'vedone the acknowledge and the
first step is definitely theneutral noticing, because you
need to start where you are, andthat can create in and of
itself, that can be profound thenext step would be okay.
(23:15):
So I want some more space forme.
How do I create it?
Well, I don't want to riskupsetting anybody or anything.
So therefore, the smallest,most effective thing is to
change how you move through yourday.
So that would involve thingslike the one minute mark
practice.
If you haven't got that audioyet, there's a link in the show
(23:37):
notes or just go to my website,heidimarkcouk.
Or even without an audio, theaudio is good because it gets
you into it and then you canstop listening to it if you
don't want to listen to it.
But the walking differently.
So, for example, every time youget up for your desk and you
(23:59):
walk to get something, or youwalk to get a drink or go to the
loo, or walking between things,walking to meetings, walking
outside, anything liketransition times, moments.
Really feel your feet on theground, maybe allow the belly to
soften, maybe allowing theshoulders to move away from the
(24:23):
ears between meetings.
So if you're not walking, ifyou'll just have transitions.
Thank you, that's.
That's Ruby, that noise, I doapologize if you can hear it.
Anyway, transitions betweenmeetings just allowing the belly
to soften, allowing theshoulders to move away from the
(24:45):
ears, maybe allowing spacebetween the teeth, just allowing
space.
So imagine it this way thenormal way of doing things is to
push on through and work really, really hard in order to create
more space for joy, in order tocreate more ease, more calm,
get everything under control.
But then we get stuck in pushon through mode and it's really,
(25:09):
really hard to switch off andfeel the space and the joy and
the calm that we've worked sohard for.
It still exists.
What if it exists regardless?
So if you think about it thisway, deep within inside you is
all the ease, calm and joy thatyou work so hard externally, for
when we slow down and allow thenervous system to reset, we
(25:36):
start to get glimpses of that,we start to reconnect with
ourselves.
Deep within you is this placeof connection, this natural
sense of being, this naturalsense of being at home with
yourself.
It exists.
I believe it exists insideeveryone.
I have no evidence for this, Ihaven't asked everyone, but
(26:00):
everybody I've worked with hasfound it.
So what if the overwhelm and theease coexist, the pressure and
the freedom from pressurecoexist, the chaos and the calm
coexist?
And by moving your attentionfrom the chaos to the calm
(26:20):
within, from the overwhelm inthe mind to the ease within,
from the external pressure tothe space deep inside you where
the joy bursts from andspontaneously burst from more
and more when we reconnect withthat more childlike, less
(26:50):
pressured, adult sense ofourselves.
So if that's already there, youdon't need to work hard for it,
it's already existing.
That doesn't mean it's notworth working hard.
That doesn't mean it's notworth working hard.
But if we work hard in order tofeel something that we already
have and it's not working well,maybe it's time to gently rebel
against that nonsense.
Maybe it's time to do thingsdifferently.
(27:12):
Maybe it's time to find a wayto live your life your way.
Time to find a way to live yourlife your way.
And if that's true for you, thenI invite you to use this
particularly pressured time ofyear to notice, to notice the
cost of constantly pushingyourself through pressure, to
(27:37):
just notice it, to acknowledgeit, to invite some self, to
allow some self-compassion, toallow some love for yourself.
Because what if actually, thiswas the perfect time of year to
reflect and pause, to say yeah,I don't really like all this
pressure and overwhelm andexhaustion, I'm done with it.
(27:59):
Because there is that naturalpause Often it's just after the
Christmas madness has stopped.
There's this pause between workrestarting.
Nobody really gets back into ituntil a few days into January.
(28:20):
It doesn't even if you show upat work.
There's this kind of there'sthis lack of momentum, things.
The energy's different.
There is a natural pause whichI believe can be very, very
valuable and I'm gonna inviteyou, as we approach that natural
pause, to consider the ideas ofthe gentle rebellion for
(28:41):
yourself, to think about how youwant to do things differently
next year, should you choose toaccept my invitation.
And in the meantime, here'sthree gently rebellious
practices to ease your end ofyear overwhelm the morning
(29:03):
promise, starting your day witha tiny moment of stillness to
connect to that place of ease,even on the days it's hidden.
Just trust it's there.
It's always there for you andto start your day with more
intention.
So what?
(29:23):
All we do here it takes but amoment is drop your attention
away from the impending chaos ofyour day.
So pull your mind's attentionaway from all the things you
have to do, all the rushing,just for a moment and feel your
feet on the ground, or, if youdo this in bed before you get up
, feel the bed beneath you, thesoftness of the pillow, whatever
(29:45):
brings your attention back toyour body and to now, and then
just say quietly to yourself orout loud if you want to I commit
to myself first, to living mylife my way, to living my life
my way, and just feel into thateach day, because each day it
will be different.
(30:05):
Now, what this does is thecommitment yourself first is
pulling your attention, yourenergy back to you, just pulling
it all back to you, because itso easily can get caught up in
the needs of other people.
And yet your first job is tolook after yourself.
This took me about 56 years tolearn.
(30:26):
My number one job is to lookafter myself properly, which
means I have to commit to myselffirst.
I'm useless actually to anyoneelse, or I'm very useful to
other people, but in the end Iget exhausted and burnt out and
resentful.
I'm better, I'm better used toother people when I look after
myself first.
There's lots of reasons to do it.
If you can't do it for yourself, do it because it will make you
better at your job, at yourfamily situation.
(30:52):
Whoever you are, to anyone,it's it's, it's good can feel
weird, though hey can feelselfish.
I always think if you're, ifyou're asking the question, am I
behaving selfishly?
Then by definition you'reprobably not, because truly
selfish people would never askthat question.
It wouldn't occur to them.
It wouldn't occur to them theymight be letting somebody else
(31:15):
down.
So this will help you noticehow you're feeling and
prioritise yourself as you rusharound doing all your things.
Even if it doesn't change whatyou do, it will change how you
do it because it refocuses backon yourself.
So the next one is neutralnoticing, and this is a practice
(31:38):
I use all of the time.
So it's non-judgmentalawareness.
If you want to do it, startingwith the audio, that's why you
would get hold of the one minutemark.
So neutral noticing is pausingfor a moment and just noticing
how you feel.
And then noticing neutrally,because usually when we notice
how we feel, there's tons ofjudgment, there's a whole layer
(32:01):
of judgment, and catching thejudgment as well is really
helpful.
But you don't have to doanything, you just notice.
And what's weird about this isit's profound.
Obviously it's profound becauseit came out of my training with
a Zen master, so it was alwaysgoing to be profound.
But I don't mean it like that.
I mean it's profound becauseit's so simple.
(32:23):
It's like is that all I have todo?
This isn't going to do anything.
I need to do.
So if you're used to doingthings in order to create a
change, it's bizarre becauseyou're doing the opposite.
You're not doing anything,you're just noticing and the
mind's bound to get into some ohI'm not doing enough, but
trusting that it's enough, andif you keep doing it, it's
really way more than enough.
(32:44):
It's magical, I promise you.
We have to keep doing it.
This is why there's all thesepractices of mindfulness and
meditation, because when we canlearn to, to watch what's going
on, to become the observer, thatgives us power.
It gives us space betweenreacting so that we can respond
(33:05):
or not.
But I invite you not to doanything with it, not to try and
make anything happen.
It may make you feel calmer.
It may not.
It's not designed to doanything, it just is.
It's a very, very basicpractice which I and my clients
find very helpful.
I use it all the time and Iforget all the time and then I
(33:26):
return to it, but it can alsohelp you feel basically grounded
in the whirlwind leading up toChristmas and the end of the
year.
So I invite you to try that one.
And then let's go for gentlyrebellious gratitude as our
third practice of the week.
So just shifting from I have somuch to do to I have so much to
(33:51):
do.
Look at all the things I get todo, look at all the people I
can think about buying a presentfor, look at everything I have
in my life, look at what I'vecreated, look at how amazing I
am, look at how my feet walkalong the pavement just like
anything.
And I would invite you to do it.
So gently rebellious gratitudeis different than the normal
(34:14):
gratitude practice just becausethe normal gratitude practice
and I do understand thegratitude practice so it's
well-researched in positivepsychology and it's really good.
And many people have said to meoh, I love it.
In this journal I've got, Iwrite down three things every
day I'm grateful for.
Yeah, it's really really good,I did it for years, and then
what it did to me is it tunedinto that very strict Christian
(34:36):
upbringing of you should begrateful.
You ought to be grateful.
There are starving children inIndia Eat your cold gray.
Or there are starving childrenin India eat your cold gray stew
.
It wasn't good for me in the endto just focus on gratitude.
There was something lacking forme because I became a little
bit worthy martyry about it.
I ought to be grateful that Ihave this job, even though it's
(34:57):
killing me.
Can you see?
So gently rebellious gratitudewould invite some humor, would
invite some yeah, I'm really notgrateful for that, but I'm
grateful for this.
So you can kind of relate it.
You can watch yourself gettingbogged down with the I ought to
be grateful and just go yeah,but I'm not.
(35:18):
I don't like that.
I do like this, though, andthen we can tune into that
lovely playful energy, thatchildlike energy of but I want
this.
I'm grateful for this, but Ireally want this.
I'm grateful for this, but Iwant an upgrade, like just play
with it, have fun with it.
So it's a practice of gratitude, but it's more playful, it's
more rebellious.
I ought to be grateful for.
This is not gratitude, it'srubbish.
(35:41):
It's another pressure, it'sanother ought.
Catch the oughts and theshoulds and the must.
Dump those, because how arethey working out for you?
So there's three things Iinvite you to help make your end
of the year more easeful.
And then there are more detailscoming, but make sure you're
ready as in, ready to sign upfor this New Year's workshop,
(36:05):
because I'd love to see you.
I'm not sure how I'm going todo it, whether it's going to be
a zoom where we all get to sayhello, or whether I just do it
where you don't have that.
I have no idea how I'm going to.
I haven't got that far, but I'mgoing to give you a sneak
preview of what's in it so youcan get excited and know that
you, there is something good foryou coming your way to nourish
you and uplift you.
(36:25):
So it will.
The main purpose of it is toget you connected to yourself,
so that and in a really calm wayobviously not not.
So you end up with this.
I want to change a millionthings about next year.
Quite the opposite to get youaligned to yourself, to
(36:51):
listening to your heart and justgetting some clarity over what
you're up to.
What is all this rushing aroundfor?
Oh, I wanted this, I wanted tofeel like this, this is what I
really want, and then you canjust focus on it.
So it may result in you notchanging anything at all.
You might just keep everythinglooking the same same job, same
house, same everything, butinternal shifts.
(37:12):
Noticing more joy, making spacefor the things that really
matter for you whether that'sreading a book for 10 minutes
and a nap in an afternoon, likesmall things, can make such a
difference.
Because as soon as you feellike you have choice, as soon as
you feel like there is spacefor you, as soon as you
acknowledge oh, this is what Iwant, this is who I am, this is
(37:33):
what I'm up to, that creates thespace, because the space is
internal.
It's a feeling you could haveall the space in the world and
then feel utterly lost becauseyou'd lost your job.
That wouldn't be what you want.
So that's what we're looking at.
So the main purpose is toconnect you to your own personal
(37:55):
gender rebellion, to anchor youin the present moment, at the
beginning of 2025.
So you can just think about youjust for a while, just for a
short hour to 90 minutes See, Idon't even know how long this is
yet, because I'm still planningit, I'm still getting excited
about it.
So more details coming aboutthat over the next few weeks.
(38:15):
If you're not yet signed up tomy email list, so I would invite
you to either or both actuallyemail list.
So I would invite you to eitheror both actually get hold of
the one minute mark and sign upfor a Gently, rebellious read
where you get some Gently,rebellious nourishment.
Quick read in your inbox everySunday morning to set you up for
(38:37):
the week and make you feel seenand heard and held and inspire
you to gently rebel against thenonsense that you have to push
through overwhelm and pressureinto exhaustion and resentment
and tears tears of despair andfrustration to have the life you
(39:00):
want.
You don't.
Overwhelm is optional.
See you next week to help yougently rebel.
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to this week's episode.
So this week I want toacknowledge and support you and
myself in gently preparing for2025 without adding to your end
(00:24):
of year overwhelm.
In fact, much more than that Iwant to acknowledge the crazy
end of year overwhelm while alsoacknowledging that, sitting
behind all of that, there's somuch to do, there's so much to
get done, there's work to finish, there's Christmas to prepare
for all of the things, oftenwith low energy or winter
(00:45):
snuffles, certainly not enoughlight, with all of that going on
.
Apologies there for our lovely,lovely listeners on the other
side of the world who have theopposite light situation.
I'm so happy for you that youhave daylight at the moment.
The days do feel rather shorthere, although I keep reminding
(01:07):
myself at this time of year.
This is when the sunrise andthe sunset is brought to you on
a plate.
You don't have to get up atfour in the morning to see the
sunrise, or stay up late atnight.
It's here at four o'clock inthe afternoon and it's often
very beautiful.
It's just I'm not ready for itbecause there's stuff I want to
do.
Anyway, back to this week'stheme.
(01:29):
So I want to acknowledge thecrazy end of year overwhelm
while also acknowledging thatall of that will be over pretty
quickly and hopefully not over,but enjoyed.
Not just survived, but on topof that, the back of our minds
or certainly the back of mine,and I know my clients too,
(01:51):
several of whom are goingthrough big career transitions.
January the 1st holds thisbackground sway over us, because
we always want more.
We want less stress andoverwhelm so that we can
thoroughly enjoy our lives.
We want more energy so we cando the things.
We always want more.
We want less stress andoverwhelm so that we can
thoroughly enjoy our lives.
We want more energy so we cando the things we long to do.
We want work that reallysatisfies us, and the problem is
(02:15):
that's just adding to the endof your overwhelm, isn't it?
So let's dive in.
I'm recording this on oh, mygoodness, I don't even know what
the date is.
I'm recording it the Tuesdaybefore I'm releasing it and I'm
releasing it on Sunday, thefirst Sunday of December.
I really must put the calendarback in front of my desk.
(02:40):
It's over the other side of theroom and I can't quite see the
date.
Oh, who cares what date it is.
Anyway, it's late November andif you're anything like me, your
to-do list is growing as theholidays approach.
Hello to my lovely American,I'm going to call you.
I'm going to call you allcousins, just because I have
American cousins, but my lovely,lovely American listeners, who
(03:04):
also have Thanksgiving toprepare for or to enjoy, or both
, there's just a lot to wrap up,isn't there?
There's a lot to wrap up beforethe end of the year Christmas
presents, work, projects,there's all the socialising, and
then there's the hiddencraziness of family visits,
(03:25):
where you long to have thisconnection and this peace and
love and joy, and it's alwaysfar more complex than we wish it
was, isn't it?
Anyway, I'm very much lookingforward to spending time with my
family this Christmas.
My granddaughter is here.
(03:45):
We go again me not knowing howold she is.
She was born in August, soshe's just over a year.
She's just started walking, sothat's going to be interesting
with the Christmas tree, sothat's going to be lovely.
So there's lots to look forwardto.
But in the back of my, in theback of my mind and I know my
clients' minds are but whatabout the new year?
(04:08):
What about the new year?
I want more for 2025.
And by more I mean more energy,more vitality, more actually
acting on the things that I'minspired to do.
I want better health.
I want to be fitter, alwaysbecause I'm getting older and I
(04:30):
just want to get older withgrace and flexibility and energy
and health.
So I'm always looking at waysto tweak my very rebellious and
gentle exercise routine.
There's always more, isn't there?
Basically, there's always morejoy to be had.
That's what I mean.
Ultimately, it's all about joy.
(04:51):
How can we have more joy?
Well, mainly, that requiresmaking space for it.
Actually, it's not about doingmore, and that is the heart of
the gentle rebellion, isn't itI'm rebelling against is the
heart of the gentle rebellion,isn't it?
I'm rebelling against having todo more and push myself harder
in order to have more joy,knowing that that doesn't work,
(05:12):
but also, with self-compassion,knowing that that is still my
default way of doing things.
Oh well, if I do more, I'llachieve more.
It doesn't work.
It really doesn't work for me,because I end up clogged and
overwhelmed and workingincredibly inefficiently and
then just losing my energy, andthat's not how I want to work.
(05:34):
So that's my constant discoveryis how can I achieve more?
By doing less, by working moreeffectively and mainly in a more
focused way.
So really acknowledging whatmatters to me, what is most
important here In the end, it'swhat's the one thing that's
going to bring the most joy,what's the one thing that's
(05:55):
going to move that project on inthe best possible way?
There's always one thing that'smore important, but I don't
know about you, but I cannot seethe wood for the trees.
When I'm exhausted andoverwhelmed, everything's
important then, and clearlythat's just not true.
And that's the trick, right,the stabilizing of the mind by
(06:16):
acknowledging it getsoverwhelmed and then doesn't
work that well or it doesn'twork as well at all.
It actually doesn't work thatwell.
When it's overloaded andoverwhelmed, it just doesn't
work as well at all.
It actually doesn't work thatwell.
When it's overloaded andoverwhelmed, it just doesn't
work.
Everything's important,everything's an emergency.
My nervous system goes intohigh alert and then I start
getting exhausted.
I'm not available for that.
(06:38):
So in this episode I want totalk about easing some of that
end of year pressure, instead ofpiling more onto a plate in the
effort to get everything done.
So let's look at some gentlerways to make the end of the year
feel lighter, feel lighter andthen, starting 2025, feeling
(07:00):
more aligned, more in tune withyourself.
Are you ready?
Ruby Roo's ready.
She's just turned up with asquirrel to get in her squirrel
miles.
That's how she keeps fit.
Anyway, it's not a realsquirrel, obviously.
Yesterday she destroyed one ofthe nutmeg.
So how old's nutmeg, nutmegseven.
(07:21):
And when she had her firstChristmas, she got Christmas
squirrels.
And last night Ruby Roo tookthe guts out of the Christmas
squirrel, the little squeaky bit.
So that's gone, that's died.
Anyway, back to you, back toyou and your gentle rebellion.
So let's start by justacknowledging what this time of
(07:41):
year usually feels like.
Just acknowledging, justneutrally noticing.
Oh yeah, here I am again.
It always feels like this thedays are getting shorter and
shorter, unless they're gettinglonger and longer.
Hello, new Zealand andAustralia.
But the days feel like they'recrazy.
Right, this just feels like I'mrunning out of time.
(08:02):
It's nearly the end of the year.
There's all these things I needto finish before this date so
that I can have some time off,or even not because you're
having time off, but justbecause that's the way the
business you're in or theorganization you're in works.
And there is just this reallyhard deadline, a hard deadline
and a hard deadline, a difficultdeadline.
(08:23):
There are things that have tobe completed before a certain
date.
It's dark.
There's added socialising,which can be lovely, but also
another pressure.
It could be hard to sleepbecause of the pressure and yet
it's really dark.
So you kind of feel like youshould be hibernating, getting
(08:45):
extra sleep.
There's just so much to do, somuch to wrap up.
It's not just no pun intended.
My partner would love this.
He loves puns.
Wrap up Christmas presents,wrap up travel plans, wrap up
work projects Everything isabout wrapping stuff up all of a
sudden.
It's just crazy.
(09:07):
So is it surprising if you'refeeling completely stretched?
Is it surprising?
Not really.
So I just invite you toacknowledge that I'm
acknowledging it for you.
So I just invite you toacknowledge that I'm
acknowledging it for you.
I see you.
I see you as a reflection of myown madness of doing that when
I used to do it that way.
(09:29):
How am I feeling now, a fewyears into my gentle rebellion?
I can see the pressure.
It's like having distancebetween me and it.
I can sit back from it and lookat it and say, oh, there's some
pressure there to finish.
That Is it real, particularlyas I'm now my own boss, so a lot
of the pressure is self-imposed.
(09:49):
But yeah, there's a lot I wantto complete.
I mean, if I okay, I will.
I was going to say if I showedyou my to-do list this isn't a
written down one, because I havereally good systems for keeping
this out of my head but if Ijust share with you some of what
I'm trying to do before the endof the year, maybe you'll see
that it's not just you.
(10:10):
It's not that I want less.
That's really important.
This isn't about wanting lessand having less.
There are two books.
There's actually four books,but I've realistically changed
it to two books.
That I wish to have done beforeChristmas, but there were
actually four books.
So some of you may remember, ifyou've been listening that long,
(10:32):
that a year ago I was writing abook that would be the Gentle
Rebel's Guide to the Ear, ajournal with gently rebellious
practices and reminders in itand space for you, and it didn't
get completed.
I did, however, gift it to themembers of the Gentle Rebel
community and I also used itmyself, and it was also used for
(10:56):
the basis of a very powerfulworkshop that I gave within the
community at the beginning ofthe year, which helped review
the previous year and dig deepabout what you really wanted and
access those heartfelt thosegenuinely heartfelt priorities
for the year.
And then everybody had a wordfor the year and I know that it
(11:18):
had a really powerful effect onthe people who were there and I
had to accept at the time thatit wasn't going to be published.
I just ran out of time.
So I relieved the pressure bynot finishing that project,
which has to happen at times.
Also, it did actually feel likeit needed to be tested first,
but I really wanted to publishit so more people could test it.
(11:42):
Right, I'd have given it toeverybody just to test, but I
ran out of time.
I don't have those kind ofskills to get it published that
fast.
A journal is different than mybook.
I learned how to publish a book.
I haven't yet learned how toformat a journal and I don't
like putting half-hearted stuffinto the world.
(12:03):
I was going to say I was goingto get trapped into the mind
trick of doing a half-assed job,which over here in the Gentle
Rebel community means doingsomething that's of really high
standard but that you think'snot good enough and being brave
enough to release it into theworld.
It literally wasn't ready intime and there is a deadline
with the journal, isn't there?
However, this year I've takenthat journal completely.
(12:27):
It's going to be 10 timesbetter.
I mean, I'm really proud ofwhat I'm currently creating, but
there's a deadline there, right?
I've also decided and I didmention it a few episodes ago
about creating a workshop.
I used to do what I called aturn of the year pause.
(12:48):
It started as three workshops,so it was reviewing the year,
dreaming up the next year andthen planning, but I actually
prefer to do it in one go now,just because I personally find
it quite exhausting when there'sthree workshops and something I
sign up to.
I just want to do it in one go,and we did successfully do it
in one go within the communitylast January.
(13:09):
So I'm going to be offeringthat for free.
I was thinking of charging asmall amount for it, but, um,
why am I not?
Because I just want to do itfree.
So I'm going to there you go,and that will be an opportunity
for you to start the year withme, if you would like to.
So keep that in mind.
(13:29):
There'll be more details coming.
Anyway, that needs planningright and because I take time
off at Christmas, it needs to beplanned.
I won't have two working weeksbefore the workshop and I also
need to get the journal done.
These things really matter to me.
(13:50):
These are really important.
Imagine if you had time with meat the beginning of the year to
start your year in the best waypossible for you.
Imagine if you had that journal, which then supported you in
those commitments you madeyourself, all those insights.
You got all that connection toyourself, living in a way that
(14:11):
works more for you.
Imagine the effect on people.
I'm desperate to get thismessage out to more people to
say you can live your life yourway, in a way that works for you
, and stop pushing againstyourself, because I know the
damage and I also know the joyseeing people light up.
I know for myself thedifference it makes when I just
(14:32):
let myself off the hook and saidyeah, heidi, there's a
different way, let's find it,it's just so.
That brings me joy.
That's my deeply satisfyingwork.
So I want to do these things.
Do I have to do these things?
No, but that's ridiculous,because it feels like I have to
do them as in my heart isbursting.
My mind is overflowing withideas that I really want to do
(14:54):
that.
I don't want to miss anotheryear because it's timely, right.
This time of year does matter.
It does matter how you startthe year.
Now we can argue, and we do,because we're always going to
rebel against anything that themind's doing is like a tyranny
thing on us.
Oh, you missed the beginning ofthe year.
Now it's too late.
You have to wait till January.
That's true.
(15:16):
You can start your yearwhenever you want.
You can restart it all the time, and we do.
However, there is somethingbeautiful about an intentional
start and it's just anopportunity to grab and I want
it, so I'm going for it.
So there's that pressure on topof all the other things I'm
doing.
I can't remember what I'm doing.
Now.
I'm growing my YouTube channel.
I'm.
(15:39):
What's the other book?
Oh, the other book is a gentlyrebellious approach to travel
using the Pacific Northwest.
So it's a cross between aguidebook to the Pacific
Northwest, but not your normalones, because they really annoy
me.
I read a lot of guidebooks andthey just added to my overwhelm.
They just seem like lists,overwhelming lists of things to
(15:59):
think about and things to do,and, oh my goodness, I couldn't
read them, it was just doing myhead in.
So I wanted to create somethingjust inspiring and uplifting.
And yeah, you can do it.
Of course you can do it.
And this is why you might wantto, because look at this, or in
wonder, or in wonder, or inwonder, do it.
Go on, but do it your way.
(16:20):
It's that kind of travel book.
So it's not just a travel book,it's an inspiring through
travel for you to do things yourway.
I don't think I'm explaining itvery well.
Anyway, that's because it's notfinished yet and I know that as
I write it I will be able toexplain it better, because
that's one of the joys ofwriting.
(16:40):
But writing takes time.
It takes for me, it takesdigging deep, it takes
reflection, it takes a capturingof those insights and thoughts
I get and those funny storiesand then collating it all.
So two books at the moment.
Now, the travel book thePacific Northwest, gently
(17:02):
rebellious thing doesn't need tobe published for Christmas,
there's just no.
So I'm not going to do that,because I want it to be better
than it would be if I did it forChristmas.
So I'm okay with that.
But that's already adding toJanuary's project list.
So I can see that.
So I've shifted something, butit's still.
I'm still writing it now andI'm loving it.
(17:23):
I was writing it the weekend.
It was great fun, partlybecause I get to revisit all
those memories.
So even if nobody ever read thebook which I'm sure they will
but even if nobody did for me,it's good because it's making me
reflect.
The other day, simon got somephotos done.
You know how, like all photosare digital so you can look at
(17:43):
them, but it's not the same.
I used to love it when youyou've got them printed, even if
you've been, half them willnever look at them.
I did something different aboutholding a photo, so he just got
some quite random ones done.
Oh, my goodness, I was justoverwhelmed the good kind of
overwhelm, overwhelmed with joyand gratitude that he and I
decided to gift ourselves thisadventure.
(18:05):
We really had an amazing time.
It was life-changing, as in Idon't know, just a connection to
that, a connection to all thatis possible when you make space
for it.
It was just so good, so good.
I'm really grateful.
So what else am I up to?
(18:26):
I can't remember.
I'm terrible at this.
I didn't mean to startoffloading my to-do list onto
you.
But anyway, I have a lot ofstuff going on and that's just
some of the big projects thatare currently on my mind while
I'm recording this and sharingsome of it, and I've just
thought of something funny thatgets me off the hook for not
remembering the rest of it.
(18:46):
The reason I can't tell you therest of it is because I have a
system where I don't keep stuffin my head.
I know this partly drives mypartner mad because he'll say
have you done this?
I'm like I don't know, but Ican check my system.
I don't know because that's notin my head.
Can you tell me this?
No, but it's in my system.
I don't hold stuff in my headanymore.
I just don't.
(19:08):
If you don't know about GTD,there are episodes on it, I
think from two years ago.
Oh, really good thing which Ididn't realize.
So my podcast platform,buzzsprout, who posts it all out
simultaneously to Apple andSpotify and everywhere.
Really cool, love Buzzsprout.
(19:28):
They've created an updated webpage for everybody's podcast and
what's really cool about it andwas driving me mad before, is
it has a search button so youcan put in GTD or something, or
getting organized.
Something should come up.
The episode that might behelpful was with Myles Seekeren.
(19:49):
I'm always worried I say thatwrong, sorry, myles because he
was the coach I had for GTD whohelped me set up my systems,
improve my systems, to free mymind.
So that's worth checking out ifyou're interested.
Anyway, where are we?
Let's focus back on you so Iget you.
I see you this kind of stuffgoing on at this time of year.
(20:13):
This kind of pressure does feeluniquely seasonal the wish to
finish things at the same timeas the darker period of year,
the days for this half of theglobe getting shorter rapidly.
Winter sniffles are verypopular.
Now they're popping up all overthe place.
(20:34):
This unique pressure needs to beacknowledged.
Needs to be acknowledged, justacknowledging it with
self-compassion.
Look at everything you'retrying to do.
Is it no wonder you feelpressured and overwhelmed?
Is it no wonder you feel likethere's no space for you?
So I invite you to acknowledgeit with me, to be held in that
(20:58):
acknowledgement with love.
So this is the heart of thegentle rebellion this noticing
for yourself, this givingyourself some permission to
become aware of the need formore space for yourself,
acknowledging how pressured youfeel without having to do
(21:21):
anything about it.
So this is neutral noticing.
Notice, completely neutrally,everything that's going on right
now.
Just acknowledge it.
If it helps, you can write itall down and see.
But if that adds to youroverwhelm, maybe not.
Whatever works for you, youhave to feel into this for
yourself, don't you?
That's what the gentlerebellion is.
(21:42):
It is finding your way.
So you have to decide.
The podcast is designed toinspire you to do that, not to
tell you what to do ever.
So what if you could giveyourself permission to slow down
even a little, to create spacefor yourself amid the busyness,
(22:06):
just moments, not necessarilyeven getting to the layer of
saying no to things, that's.
That's another layer, right,but just starting with the
acknowledgement that you arefeeling pressure, that there is
no space for you or it feelslike there's no space for you,
notice how that feels.
Then notice any judgment aboutthat.
(22:28):
See if you can let go of thejudgment or at least just notice
it.
Acknowledge the self-judgment,the self-pressure, the internal
pressure.
The conversations in your head,the thoughts, the feelings
about the musts and the shouldsand the ought.
Pressure the conversations inyour head, the thoughts, the
feelings about the musts and theshoulds, and the oughts and the
having to get things done withthis deadline, just
acknowledging all of that andnotice how that feels, and then
(22:51):
noticing how would it feel ifyou could find space, if you
could give yourself permissionto slow down for moments where
you just reconnect yourself.
Now, by this I mean once you'vedone the acknowledge and the
first step is definitely theneutral noticing, because you
need to start where you are, andthat can create in and of
itself, that can be profound thenext step would be okay.
(23:15):
So I want some more space forme.
How do I create it?
Well, I don't want to riskupsetting anybody or anything.
So therefore, the smallest,most effective thing is to
change how you move through yourday.
So that would involve thingslike the one minute mark
practice.
If you haven't got that audioyet, there's a link in the show
(23:37):
notes or just go to my website,heidimarkcouk.
Or even without an audio, theaudio is good because it gets
you into it and then you canstop listening to it if you
don't want to listen to it.
But the walking differently.
So, for example, every time youget up for your desk and you
(23:59):
walk to get something, or youwalk to get a drink or go to the
loo, or walking between things,walking to meetings, walking
outside, anything liketransition times, moments.
Really feel your feet on theground, maybe allow the belly to
soften, maybe allowing theshoulders to move away from the
(24:23):
ears between meetings.
So if you're not walking, ifyou'll just have transitions.
Thank you, that's.
That's Ruby, that noise, I doapologize if you can hear it.
Anyway, transitions betweenmeetings just allowing the belly
to soften, allowing theshoulders to move away from the
(24:45):
ears, maybe allowing spacebetween the teeth, just allowing
space.
So imagine it this way thenormal way of doing things is to
push on through and work really, really hard in order to create
more space for joy, in order tocreate more ease, more calm,
get everything under control.
But then we get stuck in pushon through mode and it's really,
(25:09):
really hard to switch off andfeel the space and the joy and
the calm that we've worked sohard for.
It still exists.
What if it exists regardless?
So if you think about it thisway, deep within inside you is
all the ease, calm and joy thatyou work so hard externally, for
when we slow down and allow thenervous system to reset, we
(25:36):
start to get glimpses of that,we start to reconnect with
ourselves.
Deep within you is this placeof connection, this natural
sense of being, this naturalsense of being at home with
yourself.
It exists.
I believe it exists insideeveryone.
I have no evidence for this, Ihaven't asked everyone, but
(26:00):
everybody I've worked with hasfound it.
So what if the overwhelm and theease coexist, the pressure and
the freedom from pressurecoexist, the chaos and the calm
coexist?
And by moving your attentionfrom the chaos to the calm
(26:20):
within, from the overwhelm inthe mind to the ease within,
from the external pressure tothe space deep inside you where
the joy bursts from andspontaneously burst from more
and more when we reconnect withthat more childlike, less
(26:50):
pressured, adult sense ofourselves.
So if that's already there, youdon't need to work hard for it,
it's already existing.
That doesn't mean it's notworth working hard.
That doesn't mean it's notworth working hard.
But if we work hard in order tofeel something that we already
have and it's not working well,maybe it's time to gently rebel
against that nonsense.
Maybe it's time to do thingsdifferently.
(27:12):
Maybe it's time to find a wayto live your life your way.
Time to find a way to live yourlife your way.
And if that's true for you, thenI invite you to use this
particularly pressured time ofyear to notice, to notice the
cost of constantly pushingyourself through pressure, to
(27:37):
just notice it, to acknowledgeit, to invite some self, to
allow some self-compassion, toallow some love for yourself.
Because what if actually, thiswas the perfect time of year to
reflect and pause, to say yeah,I don't really like all this
pressure and overwhelm andexhaustion, I'm done with it.
(27:59):
Because there is that naturalpause Often it's just after the
Christmas madness has stopped.
There's this pause between workrestarting.
Nobody really gets back into ituntil a few days into January.
(28:20):
It doesn't even if you show upat work.
There's this kind of there'sthis lack of momentum, things.
The energy's different.
There is a natural pause whichI believe can be very, very
valuable and I'm gonna inviteyou, as we approach that natural
pause, to consider the ideas ofthe gentle rebellion for
(28:41):
yourself, to think about how youwant to do things differently
next year, should you choose toaccept my invitation.
And in the meantime, here'sthree gently rebellious
practices to ease your end ofyear overwhelm the morning
(29:03):
promise, starting your day witha tiny moment of stillness to
connect to that place of ease,even on the days it's hidden.
Just trust it's there.
It's always there for you andto start your day with more
intention.
So what?
(29:23):
All we do here it takes but amoment is drop your attention
away from the impending chaos ofyour day.
So pull your mind's attentionaway from all the things you
have to do, all the rushing,just for a moment and feel your
feet on the ground, or, if youdo this in bed before you get up
, feel the bed beneath you, thesoftness of the pillow, whatever
(29:45):
brings your attention back toyour body and to now, and then
just say quietly to yourself orout loud if you want to I commit
to myself first, to living mylife my way, to living my life
my way, and just feel into thateach day, because each day it
will be different.
(30:05):
Now, what this does is thecommitment yourself first is
pulling your attention, yourenergy back to you, just pulling
it all back to you, because itso easily can get caught up in
the needs of other people.
And yet your first job is tolook after yourself.
This took me about 56 years tolearn.
(30:26):
My number one job is to lookafter myself properly, which
means I have to commit to myselffirst.
I'm useless actually to anyoneelse, or I'm very useful to
other people, but in the end Iget exhausted and burnt out and
resentful.
I'm better, I'm better used toother people when I look after
myself first.
There's lots of reasons to do it.
If you can't do it for yourself, do it because it will make you
better at your job, at yourfamily situation.
(30:52):
Whoever you are, to anyone,it's it's, it's good can feel
weird, though hey can feelselfish.
I always think if you're, ifyou're asking the question, am I
behaving selfishly?
Then by definition you'reprobably not, because truly
selfish people would never askthat question.
It wouldn't occur to them.
It wouldn't occur to them theymight be letting somebody else
(31:15):
down.
So this will help you noticehow you're feeling and
prioritise yourself as you rusharound doing all your things.
Even if it doesn't change whatyou do, it will change how you
do it because it refocuses backon yourself.
So the next one is neutralnoticing, and this is a practice
(31:38):
I use all of the time.
So it's non-judgmentalawareness.
If you want to do it, startingwith the audio, that's why you
would get hold of the one minutemark.
So neutral noticing is pausingfor a moment and just noticing
how you feel.
And then noticing neutrally,because usually when we notice
how we feel, there's tons ofjudgment, there's a whole layer
(32:01):
of judgment, and catching thejudgment as well is really
helpful.
But you don't have to doanything, you just notice.
And what's weird about this isit's profound.
Obviously it's profound becauseit came out of my training with
a Zen master, so it was alwaysgoing to be profound.
But I don't mean it like that.
I mean it's profound becauseit's so simple.
(32:23):
It's like is that all I have todo?
This isn't going to do anything.
I need to do.
So if you're used to doingthings in order to create a
change, it's bizarre becauseyou're doing the opposite.
You're not doing anything,you're just noticing and the
mind's bound to get into some ohI'm not doing enough, but
trusting that it's enough, andif you keep doing it, it's
really way more than enough.
(32:44):
It's magical, I promise you.
We have to keep doing it.
This is why there's all thesepractices of mindfulness and
meditation, because when we canlearn to, to watch what's going
on, to become the observer, thatgives us power.
It gives us space betweenreacting so that we can respond
(33:05):
or not.
But I invite you not to doanything with it, not to try and
make anything happen.
It may make you feel calmer.
It may not.
It's not designed to doanything, it just is.
It's a very, very basicpractice which I and my clients
find very helpful.
I use it all the time and Iforget all the time and then I
(33:26):
return to it, but it can alsohelp you feel basically grounded
in the whirlwind leading up toChristmas and the end of the
year.
So I invite you to try that one.
And then let's go for gentlyrebellious gratitude as our
third practice of the week.
So just shifting from I have somuch to do to I have so much to
(33:51):
do.
Look at all the things I get todo, look at all the people I
can think about buying a presentfor, look at everything I have
in my life, look at what I'vecreated, look at how amazing I
am, look at how my feet walkalong the pavement just like
anything.
And I would invite you to do it.
So gently rebellious gratitudeis different than the normal
(34:14):
gratitude practice just becausethe normal gratitude practice
and I do understand thegratitude practice so it's
well-researched in positivepsychology and it's really good.
And many people have said to meoh, I love it.
In this journal I've got, Iwrite down three things every
day I'm grateful for.
Yeah, it's really really good,I did it for years, and then
what it did to me is it tunedinto that very strict Christian
(34:36):
upbringing of you should begrateful.
You ought to be grateful.
There are starving children inIndia Eat your cold gray.
Or there are starving childrenin India eat your cold gray stew
.
It wasn't good for me in the endto just focus on gratitude.
There was something lacking forme because I became a little
bit worthy martyry about it.
I ought to be grateful that Ihave this job, even though it's
(34:57):
killing me.
Can you see?
So gently rebellious gratitudewould invite some humor, would
invite some yeah, I'm really notgrateful for that, but I'm
grateful for this.
So you can kind of relate it.
You can watch yourself gettingbogged down with the I ought to
be grateful and just go yeah,but I'm not.
(35:18):
I don't like that.
I do like this, though, andthen we can tune into that
lovely playful energy, thatchildlike energy of but I want
this.
I'm grateful for this, but Ireally want this.
I'm grateful for this, but Iwant an upgrade, like just play
with it, have fun with it.
So it's a practice of gratitude, but it's more playful, it's
more rebellious.
I ought to be grateful for.
This is not gratitude, it'srubbish.
(35:41):
It's another pressure, it'sanother ought.
Catch the oughts and theshoulds and the must.
Dump those, because how arethey working out for you?
So there's three things Iinvite you to help make your end
of the year more easeful.
And then there are more detailscoming, but make sure you're
ready as in, ready to sign upfor this New Year's workshop,
(36:05):
because I'd love to see you.
I'm not sure how I'm going todo it, whether it's going to be
a zoom where we all get to sayhello, or whether I just do it
where you don't have that.
I have no idea how I'm going to.
I haven't got that far, but I'mgoing to give you a sneak
preview of what's in it so youcan get excited and know that
you, there is something good foryou coming your way to nourish
you and uplift you.
(36:25):
So it will.
The main purpose of it is toget you connected to yourself,
so that and in a really calm wayobviously not not.
So you end up with this.
I want to change a millionthings about next year.
Quite the opposite to get youaligned to yourself, to
(36:51):
listening to your heart and justgetting some clarity over what
you're up to.
What is all this rushing aroundfor?
Oh, I wanted this, I wanted tofeel like this, this is what I
really want, and then you canjust focus on it.
So it may result in you notchanging anything at all.
You might just keep everythinglooking the same same job, same
house, same everything, butinternal shifts.
(37:12):
Noticing more joy, making spacefor the things that really
matter for you whether that'sreading a book for 10 minutes
and a nap in an afternoon, likesmall things, can make such a
difference.
Because as soon as you feellike you have choice, as soon as
you feel like there is spacefor you, as soon as you
acknowledge oh, this is what Iwant, this is who I am, this is
(37:33):
what I'm up to, that creates thespace, because the space is
internal.
It's a feeling you could haveall the space in the world and
then feel utterly lost becauseyou'd lost your job.
That wouldn't be what you want.
So that's what we're looking at.
So the main purpose is toconnect you to your own personal
(37:55):
gender rebellion, to anchor youin the present moment, at the
beginning of 2025.
So you can just think about youjust for a while, just for a
short hour to 90 minutes See, Idon't even know how long this is
yet, because I'm still planningit, I'm still getting excited
about it.
So more details coming aboutthat over the next few weeks.
(38:15):
If you're not yet signed up tomy email list, so I would invite
you to either or both actuallyemail list.
So I would invite you to eitheror both actually get hold of
the one minute mark and sign upfor a Gently, rebellious read
where you get some Gently,rebellious nourishment.
Quick read in your inbox everySunday morning to set you up for
(38:37):
the week and make you feel seenand heard and held and inspire
you to gently rebel against thenonsense that you have to push
through overwhelm and pressureinto exhaustion and resentment
and tears tears of despair andfrustration to have the life you
(39:00):
want.
You don't.
Overwhelm is optional.
See you next week to help yougently rebel.
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