All Episodes

November 9, 2024 19 mins

Send us a text

As autumn arrives, do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by self-imposed expectations to stay productive, organised, or ahead of the game? In this episode, I explore how the seasonal shift can amplify internal pressures—and how to gently rebel against them.

Learn how to embrace the natural rhythms of autumn, release unnecessary expectations, and find a deeper sense of ease and freedom as the season changes.

🎙️ Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional

This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease, and joy.

But here’s the exciting news… I’ve moved beyond overwhelm.

If you’ve been listening and resonating with this message, you’ll love what comes next.

I’ve created a new podcast: Deep Heartfelt Success—because success should feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

🎙 Join me there → Search "Deep Heartfelt Success" on your favourite podcast platform and subscribe.

💡 Experience Deep Heartfelt Success for Yourself
Book a complimentary Deep Heartfelt Success Session—a no-pressure, transformative conversation designed to help you step into your next level of success with ease.
📅 Book here

📚 The Gently Rebellious One-Minute Journal
A simple, powerful way to stay focused on what matters most.
👉
Buy here

🌍 Website:
Explore practical tools, resources, and ways to work with me.
👉 Visit here
www.heidimarke.co.uk

🎧 Free Audio: The One Minute Marke
Start prac...

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
How are you doing?
I'm feeling under the weatherand I'm not happy about it,

(00:21):
which is ridiculous.
So not only am I feeling underthe weather, but I'm also adding
to my pressure by judgingmyself for feeling under the
weather, by being immenselyfrustrated with myself for
feeling under the weather, as ifhow dare I ever feel slightly
unwell?
I should know better.
I should look after myselfbetter.

(00:42):
I should have the power toprevent myself feeling under the
weather.
Oh, my goodness.
So I've noticed this overwhelmof bombardment, of shoulda,
woulda, couldas about health and, this time of year, loads of
stuff going on.
So see if any of this resonateswith you, see if you can catch
and release some of this with me.

(01:03):
So the time of year, so it'sNovember.
In the southwest of Englandit's damp and soggy and grey.
I've just made myself go outfor a walk.
I wanted to go out for a walk,so that's an interesting thing.
I've made myself go out for awalk, which is an interesting
one.
I wanted to go out for a walk,but I also wanted to get some
stuff done, like recording thispodcast, podcast, and the two

(01:24):
things felt very conflicting,and so part of my brain is going
.
But you'll feel better if yougo out for a walk and then part
of me is going.
But you'll feel better if youjust record the podcast, because
there's satisfaction in thework and then there's feeling
better because walking I findthe best thing for my body ever.
And also I was aware of the factthat if I went outside I might

(01:45):
discover a different truth thanthe one I'm pressuring myself
with, which was this I'venoticed myself going into the
well, it's November, it's damp,the clocks have changed, which
always messes me up, it's dark,there's not enough daylight, so
I never feel good in thisweather.
I really need sunshine.
If only I could go somewheresunny.
Oh, but that's not right,because really I should be
appreciative of this, becauseit's autumn and there are things

(02:07):
I love about autumn and Ishould be grateful.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And what I should be noticing,the unexpectedly lovely things
about autumn, like lighting thefire, having hot chocolate,
getting to cosy up with the dogson the settee and watch TV,
just like there's a lot ofweight there none of it feels
very joyful.
All of it feels judgmental andbossy at the moment.

(02:29):
So it's not that.
None of those things are true.
So it is true that I find thistime of year challenging.
It's also true that I'vepracticed gratitude and noticing
the good things.
All of that's true.
But none of that matters if I'mfeeling the weight of shoulda,
woulda, couldas, if I'mbombarding myself and feeling
overwhelmed and judging myself.

(02:50):
It's unhelpful.
Eventually I stopped listeningto the nonsense and just went
for a spontaneous, very fastwalk, and that was nice,
although it was interestingbecause I've got three cavaliers
, and part of the reason it'snot always easy to take a
spontaneous walk is they allwant to go and if you take all
of them it's chaos becauseNutmeg's hypersensitive and

(03:12):
starts yapping, which sets offRuby and I don't want Ruby to be
as noisy as Nutmeg is sometimesand also Rosie's nearly 11.
She's like why are we?
Why, what's the rush?
What's going on here?
There's stuff to sniff.
I don't understand.
Why are we?
Why?
What's the rush?
What's going on here?
There's stuff to sniff.
I don't understand.
Why are we rushing?
So it doesn't work very well.
It's much better to take one ortwo dogs.
Usually I take Rosie calm withRuby Roo the puppy, so that she

(03:35):
gets the Rosie calm, and thatworks really well.
Then I take Nutmeg separatelyand she gets to do her
practicing, enjoying, being calm.
But today I thought I'd justtake Rosie.
I just thought it'd be nicequality time with my old lady
dog.
But that didn't work becausefor some reason Rosie started
talking all the way down theroad Like she was going but

(03:58):
where's Ruby?
Where's Ruby?
Where's Ruby?
Why am I on my own?
I don't want to be on my own.
Where's the other dogs?
It was weird.
Anyway, the good thing about itwas, first of all, I got
something done and I sometimesthink I just getting one small
thing done In fact not sometimesthink I know and need to remind
myself that sometimes justgetting one thing done off a
list, that's a very unimportantthing, can make a huge

(04:22):
difference to getting momentum.
Unimportant thing can make ahuge difference to getting
momentum.
So I took the bag of clothesfor the charity box thing down
the road down with me.
Oh, it felt so good.
It's bizarre.
Why.
Why such a small thing?
Right, it's not a big deal.
Okay, the bag was in the hall.
Our hall is tiny because it'svery old cottage so there's lots

(04:44):
of knock on effects Just thataction of, because it had been
nagging at me all week just dropthe box off, just drop the bag
off.
Just drop the bag off.
Just mind, please shut up.
I know it needs doing.
It's written down.
It's written down everywhere.
So I went for a walk and I feelbetter for going for a walk,

(05:05):
because I actually discoveredthat the weather, not the
weather, the weather's the same,not much daylight, like soggy
water held in the air.
But I didn't wear a coat.
That was a rebellious act.
I'm like no, it's not raining,it's quite warm.
I refuse to wrap up warm as ifit's worse weather than it is.

(05:25):
I'm going to embrace the factthat it's actually okay with a
jumper on.
That's funny in itself, isn'tit?
Such a small act of rebellion.
But it felt good and I actuallyfeel like today, the Tupperware
lid.
You know, when you've just gotthat weather where it's like
somebody's put a lid on the sky,I feel like somebody's lifted
the corner off it and lifted itup a bit.
It did feel like it was alittle bit more daylight.

(05:47):
So part of this was a okay, soI can.
I'm noticing in my head that I'mfinding evidence for the truth
that I don't really like thistime of year.
So what if I went outside andfound evidence for that not
being true?
So I did, partly deliberately,go outside to go.
Well, I think it's great.
Well, if it's not as greatoutside as in, because the thing
is, with a beautiful cottage,the windows are small, so you

(06:10):
don't get that much daylightnecessarily, and in general
that's true.
Right, because apparently I waslooking at you know you get
those lamps for daylight, lampsfor winter, to make yourself
feel better.
So I was looking at those.
They seem very bright and glaryand I'm not entirely convinced
I want one.
But anyway, the Apparently,even on a gloomy day, outside is

(06:34):
like a gazillion times lighterthan inside, which is
interesting.
So actually going outside, evenon a dull day, is probably
going to raise my spirits.
I'm not entirely convinced ofthis, I have to say.
I go outside every day becauseI go into my garden every day.
I went outside yesterday I wentto a shop.
I'm not entirely convinced.

(06:54):
Sometimes I go outside I'm like, yeah, I was right, it's really
gloomy, I don't want to go outthere, I just want to go inside.
It's really nice and cozy in mycottage.
I'm going to do this instead.
It's not necessarily true.
Anyway, it's worth an attempt,because how I look at it affects
so deeply how I feel, and thistime, going outside, it cheered
me up.
It was a short walk, I achievedsomething that was helpful, and

(07:19):
I bumped into a neighbour andshe was exactly the same.
Oh my goodness, I wish thisweather would just lift.
So it wasn't just me that mademe feel better Solidarity.
It's not just me who's feelinga bit gloomy.
That was really good.
Then we got ranting about theclocks changing.
Why do the clocks change?
Why?

(07:39):
Why do we change the clocks?
It makes no sense.
I'm sure there was a reasononce.
There's no reason anymoredoesn't make any sense to me.
Messes everybody up everybody'sgrumpy about the clocks
changing.
I don't know anybody who'shappy about the clocks changing.
We had friends staying when theclock's changing and they were
like oh oh, this is really good.
You get an extra hour in bed,but you don't if you're older.
I mean, I did when I wasyounger because I would just

(08:00):
sleep on through.
It doesn't work anymore,because I wake up early
regardless, and now the earlieris even earlier, so it's really
unhelpful.
All that's actually happened isI'm going to bed earlier, a
ridiculous time.
Not that it matters.
It's dark, nobody cares.
My children are grown, itdoesn't really affect me.
I don't go out to work.
I obviously work for myself, soI can start work whenever I

(08:22):
want Makes no difference.
I'm in general, writing orthinking.
Creating early in the morninganyway Doesn't make that much
difference.
Why am I ranting about theclocks?
I don't know.
It just seems to have added tomy general feeling of urness.
You know that?
Just low energy.
And then I started to noticethat I'm starting to wish the

(08:45):
time away.
Now that that's worth pickingup on, because I really don't
believe in wishing time away.
I just don't.
That's not serving me, that'snot working for me, because at
the same time as wishing timeaway, this is my time for
writing my book, which I amwriting, but obviously isn't
happening as fast as animpatient person like me would

(09:08):
want it to.
So that's no good.
So I need to do something aboutthis.
So this is what the podcast isabout.
How I'm looking at things isdeeply affecting my experience
of day-to-day life at the momentand noticing and catching the
fact that I am overwhelmingmyself with unhelpful thoughts
about my health, about the timeof year, about what I need to

(09:32):
happen in order for me to feelsomewhere else for the winter so
I have sun all year.
I don't believe any of that'strue.
I also don't believe in waitingto feel better.
I believe that every momentthere is a way to feel better,

(09:55):
and mostly that's just fromnoticing how I'm talking to
myself, how I'm feeling, andaccepting both how I'm feeling
and then noticing the pile ofrubbish I'm putting on top of
that, which is the overwhelm.
So this is what I've noticedI'm clogging my brain with
pressure about how I should bemore appreciative of this time

(10:19):
of year, how I should look aftermy health better so that I
never feel unwell and I'm notreally ill.
That's the thing.
I'm just under the weather.
So I've got that.
You know.
You know when you have that likeflu-y head and absolutely wiped
out, so you're just strugglingto stay awake after 7pm and

(10:40):
snotty nose, sneezy, but not aproper full blown cold, you know
, and you can just hang aroundin that pre-cold place for a
while, which I've been doing onand off.
And then some days I'm like ohsee, it wasn't a cold, I fought
it off.
And other days, well, to befair, yesterday I woke up and it
floored me.
I was so exhausted so Irearranged my appointments and

(11:06):
rested, and it was the bestthing for me to do.
I accepted the fact that, yeah,I'm feeling under the weather
and I get to rest because I'vedeliberately set my life up so
there is space for me to be ill,because sometimes we don't feel
100% and that's just the waythings are, and it's not because
we've done something wrong,because I value my health and I

(11:30):
practice exploring the mind-bodyconnection.
I am aware that I also putpressure on myself to somehow
always have it sussed, tosomehow just prevent myself
getting sick or having lowenergy, like I should know
better.
There's a lot of judgment there.
I should know better.
I should prevent this by alwayseating nourishing lunches,

(11:54):
which I don't always, I'venoticed.
I mean and that's another thing, isn't it?
What do I mean by nourishinglunch?
So what I'm saying is I couldeat a more nourishing lunch if I
was more organized.
And what tends to happen isbecause I get really excited
about my work and then Isuddenly realise I'm hungry.
I'm like, well, I should havesome lunch, and then it's too
late to do something morenourishing.

(12:16):
It just feels harder.
The truth is, I don't want tobe thinking about food when I'm
in the flow of work.
So what would be better?
So I stopped myself saying whatI should do.
What would be better is if I dowhat my partner does and what I
used to do when I used to goout to work, which is pre-plan
my lunches because you have to,because you've got to take them
with you.
Somehow, in my ridiculously highexpectations of myself, I have

(12:42):
this nonsense that because I'mworking for myself at home, I
will find space in the day towander around in a relaxed
fashion and cook up reallynourishing winter meals.
That's not going to happen.
I don't work that way.
I'm very driven and veryintense when I'm focused, and
switching to oh, nourishing mealplanning.
That just doesn't work for me.

(13:03):
It's got to be thought out.
Before.
So, funnily enough, I had thiscraving for deviled eggs.
Now, deviled eggs are delicious, but seriously, the time put
into preparing them versus thefact they take like 30 seconds
to eat because they're small andso delicious, it's just madness
.
So was it ever going to happen?
So it just went on my list.
Make devils eggs, make devilseggs, because I thought that

(13:25):
would lift me.
It's an odd thing to eat in thewinter, though, because it's
cold and because I used to workin an acupuncture clinic, I'm
really aware of the whole.
No, you should eat warm foodsin the winter and cold foods in
the summer.
But I really fancy deviled eggs.
So in the end I did make some,took some effort, did take some
effort.
It is a bit ridiculous.

(13:45):
It's like 1970s party food.
You have to do the wholehard-boiled egg thing and then
you have to cut them in half,scoop out the stuff and make the
thing and put it back in.
Crazy.
Right, it was fun in the end, Ienjoyed it and, man, they're
good and I've got four littlehalves for my lunch today and

(14:06):
that makes me feel good.
So I can do that.
But I have to recognise the factthat it's not that easy.
I don't have that muchheadspace for thinking about how
to create nourishing food.
Sometimes I wish somebody wouldjust give me.
Actually that would be lovely.
Imagine if somebody just turnedup and gave you this like
really healthy, high protein,perfect for your gut.

(14:29):
That's what I imagine.
Delicious thing for lunch, justthere it is.
There you go, you don't have tothink, which means really I
just want a personal chef,doesn't it?
But I don't really, because Idon't want somebody in my house
cooking, so that's not going towork either.
Oh, my goodness, does your minddo this?
I know it does.
That's why you're listening tome.
The entanglement of our minds,hey, with their shoulda, woulda,

(14:52):
couldas.
It's really hard work whenwe're in our minds in that
shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Oh, don't like it.
So here's what's happened.
I woke up.
I've been feeling slightlyunwell for a little while.
No big deal, I'm not ill.
I'm really grateful.
I'm really really well.
I'm 56.
I'm really really well.

(15:13):
I have friends who are havingknee replacements.
I'm really fit and healthy.
I'm really grateful.
I love my life.
I'm really happy.
I'm just putting that there,not for you, for me first,
before I go into the.
But I've been feeling unwell andthat's okay, because what I'm
doing there is rebalancing it.
It is not true that I don'tlook after myself.

(15:34):
It is not true that I have lowenergy all the time.
It is not true that I hate thistime of year.
None of these.
This is true.
But there's something there forme.
There's a gift in that for me.
I don't like feeling unwell.
I don't like it when I don'tfeel like I have enough daylight
and enough movement and enoughbeing outside, because being

(15:56):
outside matters to me and that'sokay.
I do like this time of yearbecause I'm writing.
I'm writing, this is my writingtime of year, this is my season
for writing.
This matters to me very, verymuch to have this time.
So maybe if I just wrote moreand stopped listening to the

(16:16):
nonsense, entanglement, shoulda,woulda, couldas in my head, I'd
have more satisfaction.
Yes, that's what I need to do.
So I've been feeling unwell thisweek and fighting it.
When I stopped fighting it andrested, I felt such relief.
I felt so much better.
I realised I was pushing toachieve things and that wasn't

(16:39):
serving me.
As I let go, I'm now findingways to achieve the same things
in a more Heidi way, and that'sthe gentle rebellion Going from
pushing against myself toworking with myself, with a
gentle shift.
I can't tell you exactly whatthat looks like, because it's

(17:00):
not a big deal.
It's just a shift in my body.
Mainly, it's a letting go ofthe attention, of listening to
the crazy entangled stories inmy head, the woulda, shoulda,
couldas, the judgment, thebashiness, the pushing, the.
This is wrong.
You should be doing this betterand instead just allowing my
attention to go into my body,noticing how I feel, feel a bit

(17:24):
meh this time of year.
Well, look out the window.
It is a bit meh, that's okay.
So don't try and go outsidedoing a million things.
Maybe withdraw it inwards,enjoy this time of year and just
write.
Withdraw it inwards, enjoy thistime of year and just write.
Just write, because that's whatI really want to do.
Anyway, that's my rant for thisweek.

(17:46):
This is how I am this week.
How are you?
How does this season affect you?
Now, I know we have people onthe other side of the world
where the seasons are the otherway up, so I'm not going to
apologize for doing it this wayup, because it still applies to
you.
It still applies to you as inlucky you, it's spring, sending

(18:06):
you so much love for the joy ofcoming out of the doom and gloom
into the spring.
But it also gives you anopportunity to hopefully reflect
on still reflect on how theseasons affect you, how you're
affected by the weather, howyou're affected, but mostly for
all of us, is how am I affecting, how I feel by listening to the

(18:28):
entangled junk and judgment andpressure coming from my mind.
Have a good week.
See you next week.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
For more resources to help yougently rebel, please visit my

(18:59):
website, wwwheidymarkcouk.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.