January 11, 2025 • 36 mins
How to turn overwhelm into joy in 2025.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to the Overwhelm isOptional podcast, the first one
of 2025.
Woohoo, are you excited?
(00:22):
I'm excited, I'm really excitedabout this year.
I feel like 56.
I'm starting to get the hang ofthings in my head, my life,
what I'm up to.
So this is what I'm up to thisyear and if you'd like to join
me, stick around, because it'sgoing to be really good.
So I want way more now thanmaking overwhelm optional,
(00:44):
although Although in many ways,I want exactly the same thing,
because the ability to makeoverwhelm optional means I can
choose whether to push throughoverwhelm into exhaustion, to
break the Eisenhower matrix Isthat what it's called?
You know?
The one with the grid whereit's urgent, non-urgent,
important, not important, andwhen you break it, it feels like
(01:06):
everything is urgent andimportant.
Do you know what I mean?
That inability to see the woodfor the trees, that real crisis
pressure, overwhelm, whereeverything feels equally urgent
and important.
I want more than the ability tochoose between living in that
way, which I can do I'm tough,you're tough, we can do it, it
(01:28):
costs us, we don't want itanymore and the ability to
choose to step out of overwhelmto notice the overwhelm,
primarily choose to reset and goabout things in a calmer, more
focused way.
I want more than that, becausewhat I now want is to be even
(01:50):
more skilled at that.
I want to stay focused on whatmatters most to me, what I've
noticed over the last few years.
So going from completelyoverwhelmed in and out of
overwhelm, living a great lifewhile doing that, but secretly
surfing the verge of breakdownand burnout, eventually quitting
my job, recovering, which is avery different place to be in,
(02:13):
because all I wanted then was tofeel well, to get my life back,
to get my confidence back, myfinancial stability back, my
feelings of me back.
And then I just wanted more andmore.
But then there's that fear that, oh, if I go for more, the
overwhelm will come back.
So then I tried to keep thingssmaller so that wouldn't happen.
(02:37):
And then now I'm just like, no,I'm done with this, I want more
.
Actually, I was done with it acouple of years ago.
Last year I really focused onallowing for that expansion,
saying yes to what I reallyreally wanted, and it worked.
I had a really good year atstaying focused actually on what
(02:59):
I wanted, but I wanted to makeit better.
Because what I realized happensis I have this circle of I know
what I want, I know who I am, Iknow what I'm up to, I know
what excites me and delights me,I know exactly what action I
want to take, and then all thisstuff floods in and I lose that
connection to it.
I lose that energy andexcitement and motivation and
clarity, and I'm back in thecan't see the wood for the trees
(03:32):
and I'm really with that.
So I thought, well, how, howcan I stabilize my mind better
to stay focused on what mattersmost to me?
Because it's all very wellidentifying what matters most to
you, which is a great thing todo, but takes a lot of courage.
The reason I think it takes somuch courage is because I, the
more I think about it, the moreI believe my biggest fear is
actually not disappointingothers, which is related to
feelings of safety.
It's actually disappointingmyself.
(03:53):
So if I say, oh, I really wantthis, this, this and to do this
and this and this makes me feelalive, I want this much joy when
I say yes to myself if I thendon't manage to do all those
things, or do all those thingsor experience all those things
or achieve those things.
It feels like it would beunbearable to say yes to
something and then for it not tocome true or the pressure to be
(04:16):
so intense that the movementtowards the thing that I want
would just be unacceptable backin the completely overwhelmed
and not feeling like myself andfeeling exhausted again.
So I really wanted a way tostay focused on what matters
most to me.
That makes the journey itselfenjoyable.
(04:41):
That just makes the whole thing, yeah, really up-leveled.
So this is a major up-level forme this year and also for you.
If you're going to stick around,listen to the podcast, please
subscribe, please leave a review, make my day, thank you.
So here's how it goes, and I'veput all of this into a journal
(05:08):
to support you.
If you'd like it, it's nowavailable on Amazon.
I intend to do the whole x-raything where you can look inside
and you can really see if it'sfor you, because I want you to
know what you're buying.
But it's a high quality thing.
As in, this is what I'm goingto be using.
This is what my clients aregoing to be using to help them
(05:29):
stay focused on what mattersmost, and this is a good
structure.
It took me six versions to writethis, plus the draft version
I've been using for a year.
It took a long time for me toget it so it felt good.
So it felt both deep and liketreasure, but also light and
(05:51):
easy to use.
It needs to be so valuable butat the same time so easy, so
that your mind can just glanceat the journal and immediately
feel supported.
Mind can just glance at thejournal and immediately feel
supported.
So this is how it works.
So the journal is a structureof this.
It's a place to write this down.
(06:11):
The workshop, the free workshopI did on Sunday, went into this
method in more depth.
There's a shorter version inthe journal for you.
So here's my new way of movingthrough the year without
overwhelm, with more joy.
So this is moving fromoverwhelm to ease, to turning
your overwhelm into joy.
(06:32):
Now, on the way to joy, there'sease, there's calm, there's a
whole load of stuff.
But we're just going full on,we're just stating what we want,
because actually the reason youwant ease is so that you feel
better and then, once you feelbetter, then you can allow the
joy to come in.
So if we just go straight for it, let's cut the crap here.
(06:52):
We want more joy.
We want a really full life.
We don't want to just get ourlives back, we want it all.
We want to be able to say yesto what we really, really want.
So here's my method are youready in order to have the most
gently rebellious 2025 and bythat I mean what a summary of
(07:15):
what I've just said gently butfirmly rebelling against what
has become the norm for you, ifthis resonates, or your version
of this, ploughing throughoverwhelm to hold your life
together, and that's just.
That's just the price you pay.
We're gently rebelling againstthat and instead saying I'm
(07:37):
going to focus on what I reallywant.
I'm going to say yes to myselfand then I'm going to support my
mind in staying focused on it.
And this is how we do it.
There are two steps.
One, identify what matters mostto you Not all the things you
need to do or all the things youwant off your plate, so that
(07:58):
you feel some ease.
Way more than that, and thisinvolves connecting deeply with
the heart and the body, allowingthe heart and the body,
allowing the heart and the bodyto weigh in on the conversation,
so that the list isn't comingfrom the mind.
This is not a to-do list, thisis a not when this then that If
only this was done, I'd feelbetter.
This is way more than this, andI invite you to use my messy
(08:21):
journaling technique to bypassthe mind with its amygdala
filter where it's weighing in onhow sensible that is, or you
ought to do this, becauseotherwise something terrible
will happen You'll let somebodydown.
So, to bypass the mind and itsfear, I invite you to go deep
within you and genuinely askyourself what you want.
(08:43):
This is what we did at theworkshop on Sunday, which was
really powerful, and there'salso a shorter version of this
written down for you in thejournal, which is called the
Gently Rebellious One MinuteJournal.
So you start by identifying whatmatters most to you.
Step two stay focused on whatmatters most to you.
(09:05):
Easy huh, now it seems obvious,isn't it?
Know what you want and go forit.
But the truth is, as I'vealready described my own
experience, what tends to happenis we get excited and say, yes,
that's what I want.
I want to feel like that, andthen we get distracted because
that's just the nature of themind.
That's just the nature of themind, that's just the nature of
(09:26):
being the kind of person whowants a lot, doesn't want to let
anyone else down, wants to dothings really well, but wants
more joy.
That's that's just the waythings are and that's okay.
But if we want that more joy,then we need to get more skilled
, and the skill comes insupporting the mind to stay
focused on what matters most toyou.
(09:47):
So identify what matters mostto you by connecting to your
heart and body and then stayfocused on what matters most to
you how.
That's what we're going to gointo today.
So this is my structure.
So you identify what mattersmost to you and I split this
into 10 sections.
I won't go into all thesections now because then it
(10:09):
just becomes an overwhelminglist for you, but I invite you
to see what comes up.
So when I first did this, Ifound that asking what I really
wanted and going into and whatelse and what else and what else
, anything else until I feltdone was not enough.
It then appeared into sections,into categories.
So these are the categories youmight want to consider Health
(10:32):
how do you want to feel in yourbody this year?
Not, do you want to do not?
What are the pressures?
The New Year's resolutions, notwhat are the pressures you want
to put on yourself, therestrictions, in order to look
and feel a certain way, but howdo you want to feel?
How energised?
Exactly how do you want to feelin your body and how do you
(10:52):
want to feel how energized?
Exactly how do you want to feelin your body and how do you
want your mind to feel?
And then relationships how doyou want to feel in relationship
to the people that you chooseto spend time with?
So this is obviously at home,wider circle work, etc.
How do you want to feel aboutmoney?
How do you want to feel aboutyour work?
How supported do you want tofeel?
So one of the things I wantedlast year is I wanted to feel
(11:15):
supported by trusted tradesmen,because when you're doing a
house up, it's this constantthing of can we get somebody
who's really good?
Because sometimes people comein and they're not great or they
don't turn up or they damagethings, unfortunately, and I
just don't know what I reallywant.
It's trusted tradesmen.
I want to know that whensomething goes wrong or I need
something doing, I have the bestperson.
(11:37):
And so I made that a priorityand it really helped because my
expectations changed from oh, ifonly we could just get somebody
to fix that to I want theabsolute nicest, most
conscientious, most skilled, Idon't know funniest, generous
person, and it just shiftsthings into it becoming a joyful
(11:59):
search.
And then, once I'd found areally good person in each area
that I want, I'm just keepingthat.
That becomes my trustedtradesman's list.
So support what kind of?
How supported do you want tofeel?
What would it feel like to havethe support you want?
What's missing in terms ofsupporting you to have the life
you you long to have?
What were the other ones?
(12:21):
Yeah, I have a big thing aboutadventures.
So when I think of adventures,I mean big adventures, like, for
me, walking the camino lastyear and going on on the Pacific
Northwest road trip, but alsoadventures I want at home, so it
might just be going on adifferent walk or I don't know
really small things, going to anew coffee shop, meeting a
(12:43):
friend.
Sometimes it's quite difficultto fit in all the mini
adventures because we end upsaying yes to things that we
don't really want to do yes, Iought to see that person or I
ought to go and do that thing,and what we really want to do is
these newer, lighter things.
There might be a friend who wehaven't caught up with, who we
long to catch up with, but we'renot prioritizing it because
(13:05):
we're weighed down, becausewe've said yes to other things
and this year we want to switchthat from feeling like I ought
to to saying yes, actually thatwould be really good.
That spending time with thatperson or doing that thing
energizes me, it fills me withjoy.
I'm saying yes to that and justidentifying that.
So when that becomes a priority,it shifts the decisions you
make.
You're able to look at yourcalendar and say is it full of
(13:29):
things that energize me or is itdraining me?
And you can feel that in yourbody.
If you're looking at yourcalendar, it's like where's the
space for me?
Where are the things I reallywant to do?
And then if there's resentmentand this feeling of squishness,
then you know that you're offcourse.
So for me, just having astatement about I have regular
mini adventures, and I mightchange it to statement about I
(13:51):
have regular mini adventures andI might change it to I have
regular mini adventures thatfill me with joy or that
energize me, or something likethat, if that is stated as a
heartfelt priority deep withinmy heart from the beginning of
the year.
It changes how my mind, myconscious mind because that's
deep subconscious feeling itchanges how my mind prioritizes
my calendar.
(14:12):
It just becomes a normal thing.
Then there's the big adventures.
If you have a dream, like atthe moment, we have this dreamy
wish thing about going to Japan,but it's not going to happen
this year.
It's not going to happen thisyear because I went to America
last year and, quite frankly, itdoesn't feel good to prioritize
it this year.
It's just not what I want.
(14:32):
I don't want to be away fromhome for that long.
I don't want another huge trip.
I'm still absorbing the PacificNorthwest.
I still want to stare at thephotos and remember things.
I still want to write about it.
I still want to share videosabout it.
I would like to finish my bookabout it, but that got
supplanted by the Gently,rebellious One Minute Journal,
(14:53):
not surprisingly, because timingmatters.
So I don't want another bigadventure, because then I feel
like it's too too many bigadventures at once is
overwhelming in a kind of aweand wonder way, like there's not
that there's.
Is there only so much awe andwonder I can process at once.
Yes, probably I'm easilyoverwhelmed by all and wonder,
(15:13):
and the pacific northwest wasjust like whoa so much and it
was so good.
But I want to feel that in mybody, I want to ground that in
me.
So it's just, it's not done andforgotten.
It's not a tick box.
Oh yeah, we've done that.
Now we'll move on to the nextthing.
I want it to be absorbed, Iwant to remember, I want to
re-enjoy it, re-remember it inevery cell in my body.
(15:35):
I don't want another big tripyet.
And that's nice.
Hey, can you feel the level ofsatisfaction?
That's joy, that's satedness,that's yes, I'm actually living
the way I want to live.
That's what I want more of.
So actually sometimes sayingyes to good stuff isn't what I
want either.
So I'm still prioritising bigadventures, but I'm just aware
(15:58):
of the fact that I don't want ahuge adventure like that this
year.
But that doesn't mean it's notthere in the background.
I've already bought a book onJapan and given it to my partner
, so it will just bubbleunderneath and that's really
cool.
There's other big adventures,though, that I do want.
So I want another walkingadventure like the Camino.
(16:19):
I'm not sure what that lookslike.
Yet that's exciting, but that'sa priority that feels good.
And then the final twocategories I invite you to
consider.
That your heart wants is awildcard, one anything else.
So when you're doing this workof messy journaling this, out
(16:39):
what comes up, because ifthere's another category, create
it.
Obviously it's your life, yourheartfelt priorities.
And then the other one wasstuff.
So it's interesting nowadaysNowadays we're in a time of
plentiful stuff we start toresent stuff.
So I've had some interestingconversations about Amazon
(17:00):
recently.
So we all love to hate Amazon,but we all love Amazon as well.
Now I live in the middle of thecountryside and, quite frankly,
if I stop with the whole oh,isn't it terrible?
And just go with the, it's anabsolute miracle, it's really
helpful.
Now, does that mean there's notissues with Amazon and
(17:25):
businesses?
Yes, there is, but I'm not surethat me not buying things
through Amazon has any impact atall on changing that.
And, as somebody who is reallygrateful that Amazon allows me
to access their book market,it's a little bit weird to just
say Amazon's evil.
I've noticed this thing where,when businesses become
successful, we all love to hatethem, as if the smaller is
(17:46):
always better.
It's not always better.
Sometimes, I mean, you only getto become successful if you're
doing something right Now.
Yes, there's moral issues andother things, but anyway, back
to your heartfelt feelings aboutstuff.
So the truth is you're alwaysgoing to need more stuff because
(18:08):
stuff breaks and you change andyou need different things to
support you.
You also want to be enjoyingyour life, like if we all do
this puritanical thing of weshouldn't have any more stuff.
It's really sad.
I'm reading and I wish I wasn't,because it's keeping me up at
night.
I'm reading Kidnapped, robertLouis Stevenson's Kidnapped, and
I think it's set in like 1700s.
(18:32):
It's pretty rough time, right.
There's no Amazon, there's nosafety.
It's really bad.
My house was built then.
It's not that long ago.
When I grew up, we didn't haveloads of stuff.
We had stuff, but we didn'thave.
It's not like now, like thelevel of prosperity for the
(18:53):
whole planet.
This is really important.
We didn't realize this.
I'm still stuck in what theytaught us at school, but the
truth is the whole planet hasbecome more prosperous.
More people than ever havestuff, have access to stuff.
Now you can say, well, that'sterrible environmentally.
Yes, maybe that's terribleenvironmentally.
Yes, maybe.
(19:17):
So if that is a worry for you,then how do you want to feel
about the stuff that comesthrough your life?
Because you can't stop it.
You can go into minimalism andyou can beat yourself up about
consuming anything, aboutexisting on the planet, feeling
guilty, but I don't think that's.
I don't think it's helpful,because it's more complicated
than that.
When you buy something, moneyflows to somebody else who
(19:37):
created that thing.
So for me, examining how I wantto feel about the stuff that
flows in and out of my life,that I'm finding that really
helpful.
I'm finding it more helpfulthan going I should buy less
stuff.
I should use Amazon less.
How about?
I choose to enjoy what I haveand the stuff that I invite into
(20:00):
my life is of the highestquality from the, sourced from
the best place possible.
That's different, isn't it?
That's a different feeling thatallows for gratitude for being
alive at this point in history,that allows me to support other
businesses and that allows me tohave the best possible life.
There is no point me beingpuritanical and guilt-ridden.
(20:25):
It doesn't help anybody at all.
So there's all 10 categories Iinvite you to get out of your
head into your body.
Ask yourself how you want tofeel in all those areas of your
life.
Be curious about what comes outonto the page and then, when
(20:46):
you've got your mess of, oh,this is what I really want, ask
again and is there anything else?
And notice the feelings ofthese things being true in the
body.
What would it be like if youcould stay focused on creating
(21:06):
these, allowing theseexperiencing this?
Creating these, allowing theseexperiencing this?
Now, it's quite messy at themoment, but you may have started
to notice a theme, a feeling.
It might be calm, it might bejoy, it could be anything.
Then what I invite you to do istake your mess and turn it into
your heartfelt wish list of2025.
Here's how you take eachcategory and the mess and the
(21:31):
feeling of it being done and youturn it into a present tense
sentence I am, I have, I feel so.
One of mine last year was I haveregular big adventures and then
underneath, I jotted down theCamino and America and that was
it.
That's a shortcut way for myeasily overwhelmed mind to
(21:53):
remember what matters most to me, and then that gets prioritised
how.
That's what's next.
Next, what I invite you to dois find your word of the year.
There's a rant coming.
I've seen word of the year onthe internet and here's how I
feel about it and it may not bethe least bit true, but my
(22:14):
reaction was have your word ofthe year.
It felt really aggressive.
Now word of the year came to meat some point in a gently
rebellious way.
Meaning this A gentlyrebellious word of the year is
so personal that you wouldn'ttell anyone.
We do share it in the communitybecause it is a very well held,
(22:34):
loving, sacred space, but Iwould only share mine with my
community or my coach, becausewhat I don't want is somebody
saying to me you said your wordof the year is this Particularly
, I don't want my own mindsaying that.
So the purpose of the word ofthe year is this it is to lift
you up.
It is not something to live upto like a big pressure and it is
(22:58):
a summary of the feeling of itall done.
So if you had any or allactually any is probably the
easiest way in if any of thethings on your heartfelt wish
list came true, how would thatfeel in your body when you find
the essence of that?
That's your word of the year?
(23:19):
The purpose of the gentlyrebellious word of the year is
to remember, as in connect theconscious mind.
As in connect the consciousmind, remember member in the
body is to invoke in the bodyand every cell in the body the
feeling of your wishes beingbeing true.
(23:39):
So it's a shortcut from yourheartfelt wish list to alert it
to remembering in your mind, andwe're going to use this
throughout the year where Iinvite you to.
Obviously, you can do what youwant.
This is what I'm up to.
I have a new practice called theOne Minute Morning, and that's
(24:02):
why the Gently, rebellious OneMinute Journal is truly a one
minute journal.
So it's not one minute to startwith, it's front loaded.
You need to do the work.
You need to uncover, ascourageously and lovingly and
rebelliously and playfully asyou can, your heartfelt wish
list.
Turn your heartfelt wish listinto I am, I have, I feel,
present tense statements as ifit's done.
The essence of any of that, orall of it being done, is your
(24:26):
word of the year, and then youconnect with that every morning
for one minute and then you letit go and you get on with your
day.
This is how you stay focused onwhat matters most to you.
Identify what matters most toyou, turn it into a present,
tense heartfelt wish list forthe year.
Feel the essence of it everymorning for one minute before
(24:49):
you've properly woken up, beforeyour mind's flagged up all the
fake emergencies and tipped youslightly into overwhelm.
Feel it in your body, movethrough your day with that in
your body and then because themind needs more help than that
once a month, decide yourheartfelt priorities based on
(25:13):
your heartfelt wish list.
So my January is slower.
Normally I would do this at thebeginning of the month, but
because it's January and this isthe time for me for going deep
into the heartfelt wish list,I'm behind.
I'm fine with that.
I expect that I give myselfthat time.
The heartfelt wish list needstime to settle, to form, to be
(25:34):
embodied, to feel it.
But I noticed that yesterday Ilost my way a bit, as in I
couldn't quite stay focused onwhat mattered most to me.
I felt a little bit, yeah,overwhelmed by all the things.
Like, yeah, I did.
I felt overwhelmed by all thethings I could be doing.
So right now I really, really,really want to sort out my
(25:59):
Kindle book publishing Amazonauthor stuff.
So it looks good, so it looksbetter, so you can click on a
picture and it shows you insideand it makes it easy for you to
know whether the Gently,rebellious One Minute Journal is
for you.
(26:24):
But that takes work and thattakes learning.
I don't emails out to thepeople who attended the workshop
, to the people who didn'tattend the workshop, to make
sure they feel supported too.
What's more important?
Then there's the whole I've gotlearning I want to do because I
get excited and I want to be abetter coach.
(26:45):
I want to be.
I want to be able to edit videobetter.
There's so much to do that Icould do and it's all exciting.
And yesterday I got back intothat breaking of the Eisenhower
matrix and I was like it allfeels urgent and important,
what's off here?
So I just walked away, I took abreak and then and then had a
headache.
I was like what's wrong with me.
(27:05):
Then I started beating myselfup.
Then eventually I recovered,stopped beating myself up,
allowed myself to do easy tasks,to get back in the game.
So I felt some satisfaction,did some really good stuff that
I loved, felt better and went.
Oh so there's my normal circle.
That happens a lot.
(27:26):
That's not supposed to behappening this year.
What haven't I done?
Now one of the things is myauthor copy of the journal
hasn't arrived yet.
It took Amazon over Christmasmuch longer than I expected to
actually publish the journal,and so I haven't got my copy yet
.
And I realised I'm waiting formy journal to arrive so I can
(27:49):
put my heartfelt wish list inand then start using it.
Why am I waiting?
I invented it, I wrote it.
It's on my laptop.
This is a nonsense.
So this morning what I did waswrote out my heartfelt
priorities for January.
Now I'm fine, now I feel better.
Now it all makes sense.
Oh, thank goodness it worked.
(28:12):
So, checking in with my monthlyheartfelt priorities or rather,
not checking in with them, butchecking in with the at the
beginning of every month, I willbe checking in with my
heartfelt wishlist and creatingmy heartfelt priorities.
And no, I will not have 10heartfelt priorities.
I've tried, it's overwhelming,it doesn.
Heartfelt priorities, and no, Iwill not have 10 heartfelt
priorities.
I've tried, it's overwhelming,it doesn't work.
And not everything needsfocusing on every month.
(28:34):
Some of these things are timely.
Most of them are timely right,so I usually pick three to four.
So I've got three big ones andone tiny one, which is actually
nearly done, but it feelsimportant to me that it's on the
priority wish list.
So my heartfelt priorities forJanuary are set later than they
will be for February, becauseJanuary is a slow start.
(28:56):
It's a rich, deep, powerfulstart.
And then, every day, I willconnect with my word of the year
as an essence in my body, whichfor me, as I've practiced it
recently, I've realized needs tobe even easier.
So this is how I made it eveneasier this morning, because I'd
(29:17):
had a funny day yesterday, or afunky normal day where I'm
chasing my mind, trying to workout how to support it, coming up
with solutions and then sharingthem.
That sounds like a crazy life,but this is the life I choose
and I love it.
So I thought oh, heidi, youdon't need to make it so hard,
(29:37):
you don't need to fill theessence of the entire list,
which I knew because I did thislast year.
It's just weird, isn't it, howeasy it is to get distracted.
So what I did instead is justimagine that one of them, one of
the things on your, or even antiny aspect of one of the things
, and that was enough.
I was right back in the oh.
That feels really good.
(29:59):
Now I know what I'm up to thisyear and I was back to smiling
about my word of the year.
So make it easy, make itplayful, rebel against the
nonsense that it has to be hardor complicated, or you can't do
it or it doesn't work.
It does if you make it work foryou.
If it's not for you, I'm sureyou can find something that is
for you.
Then every week you do a, I do aSunday morning.
(30:23):
Sunday morning is a great timefor me to check in with my
heartfelt weekly priorities.
So I will take the monthlypriorities and divide them into
weekly priorities, which aremore action steps.
But it's really important to meto not get into a to-do list
because if it's just a list ofthings to be done, it can lose
(30:45):
contact.
What we're trying to do here iskeep the mind and the heart and
the body all connected, and theconscious mind is very good, as
we know, overriding the heartand body, which is what gets us
stuck in the overwhelm,exhaustion, resentment,
grumpiness pattern.
So the heartfelt weeklypriority list is more minute and
(31:11):
more.
So you're going into the morespecific things of the heartfelt
monthly priority list.
Like you might just take one ofthe monthly priorities and
spend a whole week on it, anddoes that mean you don't have a
to-do list?
Of course you still have yourto-do list.
Of course there's other things.
This is about prioritization.
(31:34):
This is.
This is about finding a way tostop breaking the eisenhower
matrix and making every god Ihope it's called the eisenhower
matrix, so I'm just been talkingrubbish for a week.
Anyway, in my head it's theeisenhower matrix urgent, not
urgent, important, not important, with a big red cross through
it and an explosion in it.
That's how I'm seeing it.
(31:55):
I don't want that to keephappening because it's boring
and frustrating.
A version of it happenedyesterday and I was miserable
because I just spent Sundayteaching a workshop, so that
wouldn't happen, and then I'dlost my own way.
Well, that's because I'm notperfect.
That's why I'm coming up withthis stuff.
To help all of us.
Let's recap and then please goand buy the Gently, rebellious
(32:17):
one minute journal.
So you've got the structure andthen this is what we're going
to be delving into in the comingweeks Create your heartfelt
wish list by connecting to yourbody and your heart and allowing
words to come across to thepage and then turning it into, I
am statements of the thingsalready being done and here and
(32:40):
felt, so that you're connectingthe deep wisdom and longings and
what you really want, whatreally matters most to you, from
the heart and the body, withthe conscious mind.
Once you've got your heartfeltwish list for 2025, summarise it
in a heartfelt, body, felt wordof the year, which is the
(33:03):
essence of it, the essence of ithappening, being true for you,
that you can connect with forone minute every morning, before
your mind has wrecked your day,getting busy If you forget in
the morning.
I'm prioritizing, notforgetting in the morning,
because this is the structureand I know it works, or I'm
(33:24):
hoping it will work for you too,but this is a practice we're
going to forget or it might notfeel so easy one day.
So another thing to do would bewhen you notice the feelings of
it being done coming up to you.
So if you had this spontaneousjoy, you go yes, that's it back
in the game.
(33:44):
That's my word of the year.
So it's also a discovery.
It's not like it's a once anddone and, as things happen
during the year, notice thefeeling more and more.
So what you're doing is you'redrawing your attention to the
feelings of it being done moreand more because we get what we
focus on.
So you're increasing thefeeling of joy or calm in your
(34:04):
body and then every month, do aheartfelt priorities check-in,
decide what you're prioritizingthis month and every week, break
it down even smaller intoweekly heartfelt priorities.
That's it.
I hope you found that helpful,intriguing, uplifting anything.
(34:26):
If you want to let me know, youcan contact me by going to my
website or contact me in all thenormal places social media or
you can email me, heidi, atHeidiMarkcouk.
I'd love to hear from youWishing you the most gently,
rebellious 2025, where you getto stay focused on what matters
(34:47):
most to you.
Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is
optional.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to the Overwhelm isOptional podcast, the first one
of 2025.
Woohoo, are you excited?
(00:22):
I'm excited, I'm really excitedabout this year.
I feel like 56.
I'm starting to get the hang ofthings in my head, my life,
what I'm up to.
So this is what I'm up to thisyear and if you'd like to join
me, stick around, because it'sgoing to be really good.
So I want way more now thanmaking overwhelm optional,
(00:44):
although Although in many ways,I want exactly the same thing,
because the ability to makeoverwhelm optional means I can
choose whether to push throughoverwhelm into exhaustion, to
break the Eisenhower matrix Isthat what it's called?
You know?
The one with the grid whereit's urgent, non-urgent,
important, not important, andwhen you break it, it feels like
(01:06):
everything is urgent andimportant.
Do you know what I mean?
That inability to see the woodfor the trees, that real crisis
pressure, overwhelm, whereeverything feels equally urgent
and important.
I want more than the ability tochoose between living in that
way, which I can do I'm tough,you're tough, we can do it, it
(01:28):
costs us, we don't want itanymore and the ability to
choose to step out of overwhelmto notice the overwhelm,
primarily choose to reset and goabout things in a calmer, more
focused way.
I want more than that, becausewhat I now want is to be even
(01:50):
more skilled at that.
I want to stay focused on whatmatters most to me, what I've
noticed over the last few years.
So going from completelyoverwhelmed in and out of
overwhelm, living a great lifewhile doing that, but secretly
surfing the verge of breakdownand burnout, eventually quitting
my job, recovering, which is avery different place to be in,
(02:13):
because all I wanted then was tofeel well, to get my life back,
to get my confidence back, myfinancial stability back, my
feelings of me back.
And then I just wanted more andmore.
But then there's that fear that, oh, if I go for more, the
overwhelm will come back.
So then I tried to keep thingssmaller so that wouldn't happen.
(02:37):
And then now I'm just like, no,I'm done with this, I want more
.
Actually, I was done with it acouple of years ago.
Last year I really focused onallowing for that expansion,
saying yes to what I reallyreally wanted, and it worked.
I had a really good year atstaying focused actually on what
(02:59):
I wanted, but I wanted to makeit better.
Because what I realized happensis I have this circle of I know
what I want, I know who I am, Iknow what I'm up to, I know
what excites me and delights me,I know exactly what action I
want to take, and then all thisstuff floods in and I lose that
connection to it.
I lose that energy andexcitement and motivation and
clarity, and I'm back in thecan't see the wood for the trees
(03:32):
and I'm really with that.
So I thought, well, how, howcan I stabilize my mind better
to stay focused on what mattersmost to me?
Because it's all very wellidentifying what matters most to
you, which is a great thing todo, but takes a lot of courage.
The reason I think it takes somuch courage is because I, the
more I think about it, the moreI believe my biggest fear is
actually not disappointingothers, which is related to
feelings of safety.
It's actually disappointingmyself.
(03:53):
So if I say, oh, I really wantthis, this, this and to do this
and this and this makes me feelalive, I want this much joy when
I say yes to myself if I thendon't manage to do all those
things, or do all those thingsor experience all those things
or achieve those things.
It feels like it would beunbearable to say yes to
something and then for it not tocome true or the pressure to be
(04:16):
so intense that the movementtowards the thing that I want
would just be unacceptable backin the completely overwhelmed
and not feeling like myself andfeeling exhausted again.
So I really wanted a way tostay focused on what matters
most to me.
That makes the journey itselfenjoyable.
(04:41):
That just makes the whole thing, yeah, really up-leveled.
So this is a major up-level forme this year and also for you.
If you're going to stick around,listen to the podcast, please
subscribe, please leave a review, make my day, thank you.
So here's how it goes, and I'veput all of this into a journal
(05:08):
to support you.
If you'd like it, it's nowavailable on Amazon.
I intend to do the whole x-raything where you can look inside
and you can really see if it'sfor you, because I want you to
know what you're buying.
But it's a high quality thing.
As in, this is what I'm goingto be using.
This is what my clients aregoing to be using to help them
(05:29):
stay focused on what mattersmost, and this is a good
structure.
It took me six versions to writethis, plus the draft version
I've been using for a year.
It took a long time for me toget it so it felt good.
So it felt both deep and liketreasure, but also light and
(05:51):
easy to use.
It needs to be so valuable butat the same time so easy, so
that your mind can just glanceat the journal and immediately
feel supported.
Mind can just glance at thejournal and immediately feel
supported.
So this is how it works.
So the journal is a structureof this.
It's a place to write this down.
(06:11):
The workshop, the free workshopI did on Sunday, went into this
method in more depth.
There's a shorter version inthe journal for you.
So here's my new way of movingthrough the year without
overwhelm, with more joy.
So this is moving fromoverwhelm to ease, to turning
your overwhelm into joy.
(06:32):
Now, on the way to joy, there'sease, there's calm, there's a
whole load of stuff.
But we're just going full on,we're just stating what we want,
because actually the reason youwant ease is so that you feel
better and then, once you feelbetter, then you can allow the
joy to come in.
So if we just go straight for it, let's cut the crap here.
(06:52):
We want more joy.
We want a really full life.
We don't want to just get ourlives back, we want it all.
We want to be able to say yesto what we really, really want.
So here's my method are youready in order to have the most
gently rebellious 2025 and bythat I mean what a summary of
(07:15):
what I've just said gently butfirmly rebelling against what
has become the norm for you, ifthis resonates, or your version
of this, ploughing throughoverwhelm to hold your life
together, and that's just.
That's just the price you pay.
We're gently rebelling againstthat and instead saying I'm
(07:37):
going to focus on what I reallywant.
I'm going to say yes to myselfand then I'm going to support my
mind in staying focused on it.
And this is how we do it.
There are two steps.
One, identify what matters mostto you Not all the things you
need to do or all the things youwant off your plate, so that
(07:58):
you feel some ease.
Way more than that, and thisinvolves connecting deeply with
the heart and the body, allowingthe heart and the body,
allowing the heart and the bodyto weigh in on the conversation,
so that the list isn't comingfrom the mind.
This is not a to-do list, thisis a not when this then that If
only this was done, I'd feelbetter.
This is way more than this, andI invite you to use my messy
(08:21):
journaling technique to bypassthe mind with its amygdala
filter where it's weighing in onhow sensible that is, or you
ought to do this, becauseotherwise something terrible
will happen You'll let somebodydown.
So, to bypass the mind and itsfear, I invite you to go deep
within you and genuinely askyourself what you want.
(08:43):
This is what we did at theworkshop on Sunday, which was
really powerful, and there'salso a shorter version of this
written down for you in thejournal, which is called the
Gently Rebellious One MinuteJournal.
So you start by identifying whatmatters most to you.
Step two stay focused on whatmatters most to you.
(09:05):
Easy huh, now it seems obvious,isn't it?
Know what you want and go forit.
But the truth is, as I'vealready described my own
experience, what tends to happenis we get excited and say, yes,
that's what I want.
I want to feel like that, andthen we get distracted because
that's just the nature of themind.
That's just the nature of themind, that's just the nature of
(09:26):
being the kind of person whowants a lot, doesn't want to let
anyone else down, wants to dothings really well, but wants
more joy.
That's that's just the waythings are and that's okay.
But if we want that more joy,then we need to get more skilled
, and the skill comes insupporting the mind to stay
focused on what matters most toyou.
(09:47):
So identify what matters mostto you by connecting to your
heart and body and then stayfocused on what matters most to
you how.
That's what we're going to gointo today.
So this is my structure.
So you identify what mattersmost to you and I split this
into 10 sections.
I won't go into all thesections now because then it
(10:09):
just becomes an overwhelminglist for you, but I invite you
to see what comes up.
So when I first did this, Ifound that asking what I really
wanted and going into and whatelse and what else and what else
, anything else until I feltdone was not enough.
It then appeared into sections,into categories.
So these are the categories youmight want to consider Health
(10:32):
how do you want to feel in yourbody this year?
Not, do you want to do not?
What are the pressures?
The New Year's resolutions, notwhat are the pressures you want
to put on yourself, therestrictions, in order to look
and feel a certain way, but howdo you want to feel?
How energised?
Exactly how do you want to feelin your body and how do you
(10:52):
want to feel how energized?
Exactly how do you want to feelin your body and how do you
want your mind to feel?
And then relationships how doyou want to feel in relationship
to the people that you chooseto spend time with?
So this is obviously at home,wider circle work, etc.
How do you want to feel aboutmoney?
How do you want to feel aboutyour work?
How supported do you want tofeel?
So one of the things I wantedlast year is I wanted to feel
(11:15):
supported by trusted tradesmen,because when you're doing a
house up, it's this constantthing of can we get somebody
who's really good?
Because sometimes people comein and they're not great or they
don't turn up or they damagethings, unfortunately, and I
just don't know what I reallywant.
It's trusted tradesmen.
I want to know that whensomething goes wrong or I need
something doing, I have the bestperson.
(11:37):
And so I made that a priorityand it really helped because my
expectations changed from oh, ifonly we could just get somebody
to fix that to I want theabsolute nicest, most
conscientious, most skilled, Idon't know funniest, generous
person, and it just shiftsthings into it becoming a joyful
(11:59):
search.
And then, once I'd found areally good person in each area
that I want, I'm just keepingthat.
That becomes my trustedtradesman's list.
So support what kind of?
How supported do you want tofeel?
What would it feel like to havethe support you want?
What's missing in terms ofsupporting you to have the life
you you long to have?
What were the other ones?
(12:21):
Yeah, I have a big thing aboutadventures.
So when I think of adventures,I mean big adventures, like, for
me, walking the camino lastyear and going on on the Pacific
Northwest road trip, but alsoadventures I want at home, so it
might just be going on adifferent walk or I don't know
really small things, going to anew coffee shop, meeting a
(12:43):
friend.
Sometimes it's quite difficultto fit in all the mini
adventures because we end upsaying yes to things that we
don't really want to do yes, Iought to see that person or I
ought to go and do that thing,and what we really want to do is
these newer, lighter things.
There might be a friend who wehaven't caught up with, who we
long to catch up with, but we'renot prioritizing it because
(13:05):
we're weighed down, becausewe've said yes to other things
and this year we want to switchthat from feeling like I ought
to to saying yes, actually thatwould be really good.
That spending time with thatperson or doing that thing
energizes me, it fills me withjoy.
I'm saying yes to that and justidentifying that.
So when that becomes a priority,it shifts the decisions you
make.
You're able to look at yourcalendar and say is it full of
(13:29):
things that energize me or is itdraining me?
And you can feel that in yourbody.
If you're looking at yourcalendar, it's like where's the
space for me?
Where are the things I reallywant to do?
And then if there's resentmentand this feeling of squishness,
then you know that you're offcourse.
So for me, just having astatement about I have regular
mini adventures, and I mightchange it to statement about I
(13:51):
have regular mini adventures andI might change it to I have
regular mini adventures thatfill me with joy or that
energize me, or something likethat, if that is stated as a
heartfelt priority deep withinmy heart from the beginning of
the year.
It changes how my mind, myconscious mind because that's
deep subconscious feeling itchanges how my mind prioritizes
my calendar.
(14:12):
It just becomes a normal thing.
Then there's the big adventures.
If you have a dream, like atthe moment, we have this dreamy
wish thing about going to Japan,but it's not going to happen
this year.
It's not going to happen thisyear because I went to America
last year and, quite frankly, itdoesn't feel good to prioritize
it this year.
It's just not what I want.
(14:32):
I don't want to be away fromhome for that long.
I don't want another huge trip.
I'm still absorbing the PacificNorthwest.
I still want to stare at thephotos and remember things.
I still want to write about it.
I still want to share videosabout it.
I would like to finish my bookabout it, but that got
supplanted by the Gently,rebellious One Minute Journal,
(14:53):
not surprisingly, because timingmatters.
So I don't want another bigadventure, because then I feel
like it's too too many bigadventures at once is
overwhelming in a kind of aweand wonder way, like there's not
that there's.
Is there only so much awe andwonder I can process at once.
Yes, probably I'm easilyoverwhelmed by all and wonder,
(15:13):
and the pacific northwest wasjust like whoa so much and it
was so good.
But I want to feel that in mybody, I want to ground that in
me.
So it's just, it's not done andforgotten.
It's not a tick box.
Oh yeah, we've done that.
Now we'll move on to the nextthing.
I want it to be absorbed, Iwant to remember, I want to
re-enjoy it, re-remember it inevery cell in my body.
(15:35):
I don't want another big tripyet.
And that's nice.
Hey, can you feel the level ofsatisfaction?
That's joy, that's satedness,that's yes, I'm actually living
the way I want to live.
That's what I want more of.
So actually sometimes sayingyes to good stuff isn't what I
want either.
So I'm still prioritising bigadventures, but I'm just aware
(15:58):
of the fact that I don't want ahuge adventure like that this
year.
But that doesn't mean it's notthere in the background.
I've already bought a book onJapan and given it to my partner
, so it will just bubbleunderneath and that's really
cool.
There's other big adventures,though, that I do want.
So I want another walkingadventure like the Camino.
(16:19):
I'm not sure what that lookslike.
Yet that's exciting, but that'sa priority that feels good.
And then the final twocategories I invite you to
consider.
That your heart wants is awildcard, one anything else.
So when you're doing this workof messy journaling this, out
(16:39):
what comes up, because ifthere's another category, create
it.
Obviously it's your life, yourheartfelt priorities.
And then the other one wasstuff.
So it's interesting nowadaysNowadays we're in a time of
plentiful stuff we start toresent stuff.
So I've had some interestingconversations about Amazon
(17:00):
recently.
So we all love to hate Amazon,but we all love Amazon as well.
Now I live in the middle of thecountryside and, quite frankly,
if I stop with the whole oh,isn't it terrible?
And just go with the, it's anabsolute miracle, it's really
helpful.
Now, does that mean there's notissues with Amazon and
(17:25):
businesses?
Yes, there is, but I'm not surethat me not buying things
through Amazon has any impact atall on changing that.
And, as somebody who is reallygrateful that Amazon allows me
to access their book market,it's a little bit weird to just
say Amazon's evil.
I've noticed this thing where,when businesses become
successful, we all love to hatethem, as if the smaller is
(17:46):
always better.
It's not always better.
Sometimes, I mean, you only getto become successful if you're
doing something right Now.
Yes, there's moral issues andother things, but anyway, back
to your heartfelt feelings aboutstuff.
So the truth is you're alwaysgoing to need more stuff because
(18:08):
stuff breaks and you change andyou need different things to
support you.
You also want to be enjoyingyour life, like if we all do
this puritanical thing of weshouldn't have any more stuff.
It's really sad.
I'm reading and I wish I wasn't,because it's keeping me up at
night.
I'm reading Kidnapped, robertLouis Stevenson's Kidnapped, and
I think it's set in like 1700s.
(18:32):
It's pretty rough time, right.
There's no Amazon, there's nosafety.
It's really bad.
My house was built then.
It's not that long ago.
When I grew up, we didn't haveloads of stuff.
We had stuff, but we didn'thave.
It's not like now, like thelevel of prosperity for the
(18:53):
whole planet.
This is really important.
We didn't realize this.
I'm still stuck in what theytaught us at school, but the
truth is the whole planet hasbecome more prosperous.
More people than ever havestuff, have access to stuff.
Now you can say, well, that'sterrible environmentally.
Yes, maybe that's terribleenvironmentally.
Yes, maybe.
(19:17):
So if that is a worry for you,then how do you want to feel
about the stuff that comesthrough your life?
Because you can't stop it.
You can go into minimalism andyou can beat yourself up about
consuming anything, aboutexisting on the planet, feeling
guilty, but I don't think that's.
I don't think it's helpful,because it's more complicated
than that.
When you buy something, moneyflows to somebody else who
(19:37):
created that thing.
So for me, examining how I wantto feel about the stuff that
flows in and out of my life,that I'm finding that really
helpful.
I'm finding it more helpfulthan going I should buy less
stuff.
I should use Amazon less.
How about?
I choose to enjoy what I haveand the stuff that I invite into
(20:00):
my life is of the highestquality from the, sourced from
the best place possible.
That's different, isn't it?
That's a different feeling thatallows for gratitude for being
alive at this point in history,that allows me to support other
businesses and that allows me tohave the best possible life.
There is no point me beingpuritanical and guilt-ridden.
(20:25):
It doesn't help anybody at all.
So there's all 10 categories Iinvite you to get out of your
head into your body.
Ask yourself how you want tofeel in all those areas of your
life.
Be curious about what comes outonto the page and then, when
(20:46):
you've got your mess of, oh,this is what I really want, ask
again and is there anything else?
And notice the feelings ofthese things being true in the
body.
What would it be like if youcould stay focused on creating
(21:06):
these, allowing theseexperiencing this?
Creating these, allowing theseexperiencing this?
Now, it's quite messy at themoment, but you may have started
to notice a theme, a feeling.
It might be calm, it might bejoy, it could be anything.
Then what I invite you to do istake your mess and turn it into
your heartfelt wish list of2025.
Here's how you take eachcategory and the mess and the
(21:31):
feeling of it being done and youturn it into a present tense
sentence I am, I have, I feel so.
One of mine last year was I haveregular big adventures and then
underneath, I jotted down theCamino and America and that was
it.
That's a shortcut way for myeasily overwhelmed mind to
(21:53):
remember what matters most to me, and then that gets prioritised
how.
That's what's next.
Next, what I invite you to dois find your word of the year.
There's a rant coming.
I've seen word of the year onthe internet and here's how I
feel about it and it may not bethe least bit true, but my
(22:14):
reaction was have your word ofthe year.
It felt really aggressive.
Now word of the year came to meat some point in a gently
rebellious way.
Meaning this A gentlyrebellious word of the year is
so personal that you wouldn'ttell anyone.
We do share it in the communitybecause it is a very well held,
(22:34):
loving, sacred space, but Iwould only share mine with my
community or my coach, becausewhat I don't want is somebody
saying to me you said your wordof the year is this Particularly
, I don't want my own mindsaying that.
So the purpose of the word ofthe year is this it is to lift
you up.
It is not something to live upto like a big pressure and it is
(22:58):
a summary of the feeling of itall done.
So if you had any or allactually any is probably the
easiest way in if any of thethings on your heartfelt wish
list came true, how would thatfeel in your body when you find
the essence of that?
That's your word of the year?
(23:19):
The purpose of the gentlyrebellious word of the year is
to remember, as in connect theconscious mind.
As in connect the consciousmind, remember member in the
body is to invoke in the bodyand every cell in the body the
feeling of your wishes beingbeing true.
(23:39):
So it's a shortcut from yourheartfelt wish list to alert it
to remembering in your mind, andwe're going to use this
throughout the year where Iinvite you to.
Obviously, you can do what youwant.
This is what I'm up to.
I have a new practice called theOne Minute Morning, and that's
(24:02):
why the Gently, rebellious OneMinute Journal is truly a one
minute journal.
So it's not one minute to startwith, it's front loaded.
You need to do the work.
You need to uncover, ascourageously and lovingly and
rebelliously and playfully asyou can, your heartfelt wish
list.
Turn your heartfelt wish listinto I am, I have, I feel,
present tense statements as ifit's done.
The essence of any of that, orall of it being done, is your
(24:26):
word of the year, and then youconnect with that every morning
for one minute and then you letit go and you get on with your
day.
This is how you stay focused onwhat matters most to you.
Identify what matters most toyou, turn it into a present,
tense heartfelt wish list forthe year.
Feel the essence of it everymorning for one minute before
(24:49):
you've properly woken up, beforeyour mind's flagged up all the
fake emergencies and tipped youslightly into overwhelm.
Feel it in your body, movethrough your day with that in
your body and then because themind needs more help than that
once a month, decide yourheartfelt priorities based on
(25:13):
your heartfelt wish list.
So my January is slower.
Normally I would do this at thebeginning of the month, but
because it's January and this isthe time for me for going deep
into the heartfelt wish list,I'm behind.
I'm fine with that.
I expect that I give myselfthat time.
The heartfelt wish list needstime to settle, to form, to be
(25:34):
embodied, to feel it.
But I noticed that yesterday Ilost my way a bit, as in I
couldn't quite stay focused onwhat mattered most to me.
I felt a little bit, yeah,overwhelmed by all the things.
Like, yeah, I did.
I felt overwhelmed by all thethings I could be doing.
So right now I really, really,really want to sort out my
(25:59):
Kindle book publishing Amazonauthor stuff.
So it looks good, so it looksbetter, so you can click on a
picture and it shows you insideand it makes it easy for you to
know whether the Gently,rebellious One Minute Journal is
for you.
(26:24):
But that takes work and thattakes learning.
I don't emails out to thepeople who attended the workshop
, to the people who didn'tattend the workshop, to make
sure they feel supported too.
What's more important?
Then there's the whole I've gotlearning I want to do because I
get excited and I want to be abetter coach.
(26:45):
I want to be.
I want to be able to edit videobetter.
There's so much to do that Icould do and it's all exciting.
And yesterday I got back intothat breaking of the Eisenhower
matrix and I was like it allfeels urgent and important,
what's off here?
So I just walked away, I took abreak and then and then had a
headache.
I was like what's wrong with me.
(27:05):
Then I started beating myselfup.
Then eventually I recovered,stopped beating myself up,
allowed myself to do easy tasks,to get back in the game.
So I felt some satisfaction,did some really good stuff that
I loved, felt better and went.
Oh so there's my normal circle.
That happens a lot.
(27:26):
That's not supposed to behappening this year.
What haven't I done?
Now one of the things is myauthor copy of the journal
hasn't arrived yet.
It took Amazon over Christmasmuch longer than I expected to
actually publish the journal,and so I haven't got my copy yet
.
And I realised I'm waiting formy journal to arrive so I can
(27:49):
put my heartfelt wish list inand then start using it.
Why am I waiting?
I invented it, I wrote it.
It's on my laptop.
This is a nonsense.
So this morning what I did waswrote out my heartfelt
priorities for January.
Now I'm fine, now I feel better.
Now it all makes sense.
Oh, thank goodness it worked.
(28:12):
So, checking in with my monthlyheartfelt priorities or rather,
not checking in with them, butchecking in with the at the
beginning of every month, I willbe checking in with my
heartfelt wishlist and creatingmy heartfelt priorities.
And no, I will not have 10heartfelt priorities.
I've tried, it's overwhelming,it doesn.
Heartfelt priorities, and no, Iwill not have 10 heartfelt
priorities.
I've tried, it's overwhelming,it doesn't work.
And not everything needsfocusing on every month.
(28:34):
Some of these things are timely.
Most of them are timely right,so I usually pick three to four.
So I've got three big ones andone tiny one, which is actually
nearly done, but it feelsimportant to me that it's on the
priority wish list.
So my heartfelt priorities forJanuary are set later than they
will be for February, becauseJanuary is a slow start.
(28:56):
It's a rich, deep, powerfulstart.
And then, every day, I willconnect with my word of the year
as an essence in my body, whichfor me, as I've practiced it
recently, I've realized needs tobe even easier.
So this is how I made it eveneasier this morning, because I'd
(29:17):
had a funny day yesterday, or afunky normal day where I'm
chasing my mind, trying to workout how to support it, coming up
with solutions and then sharingthem.
That sounds like a crazy life,but this is the life I choose
and I love it.
So I thought oh, heidi, youdon't need to make it so hard,
(29:37):
you don't need to fill theessence of the entire list,
which I knew because I did thislast year.
It's just weird, isn't it, howeasy it is to get distracted.
So what I did instead is justimagine that one of them, one of
the things on your, or even antiny aspect of one of the things
, and that was enough.
I was right back in the oh.
That feels really good.
(29:59):
Now I know what I'm up to thisyear and I was back to smiling
about my word of the year.
So make it easy, make itplayful, rebel against the
nonsense that it has to be hardor complicated, or you can't do
it or it doesn't work.
It does if you make it work foryou.
If it's not for you, I'm sureyou can find something that is
for you.
Then every week you do a, I do aSunday morning.
(30:23):
Sunday morning is a great timefor me to check in with my
heartfelt weekly priorities.
So I will take the monthlypriorities and divide them into
weekly priorities, which aremore action steps.
But it's really important to meto not get into a to-do list
because if it's just a list ofthings to be done, it can lose
(30:45):
contact.
What we're trying to do here iskeep the mind and the heart and
the body all connected, and theconscious mind is very good, as
we know, overriding the heartand body, which is what gets us
stuck in the overwhelm,exhaustion, resentment,
grumpiness pattern.
So the heartfelt weeklypriority list is more minute and
(31:11):
more.
So you're going into the morespecific things of the heartfelt
monthly priority list.
Like you might just take one ofthe monthly priorities and
spend a whole week on it, anddoes that mean you don't have a
to-do list?
Of course you still have yourto-do list.
Of course there's other things.
This is about prioritization.
(31:34):
This is.
This is about finding a way tostop breaking the eisenhower
matrix and making every god Ihope it's called the eisenhower
matrix, so I'm just been talkingrubbish for a week.
Anyway, in my head it's theeisenhower matrix urgent, not
urgent, important, not important, with a big red cross through
it and an explosion in it.
That's how I'm seeing it.
(31:55):
I don't want that to keephappening because it's boring
and frustrating.
A version of it happenedyesterday and I was miserable
because I just spent Sundayteaching a workshop, so that
wouldn't happen, and then I'dlost my own way.
Well, that's because I'm notperfect.
That's why I'm coming up withthis stuff.
To help all of us.
Let's recap and then please goand buy the Gently, rebellious
(32:17):
one minute journal.
So you've got the structure andthen this is what we're going
to be delving into in the comingweeks Create your heartfelt
wish list by connecting to yourbody and your heart and allowing
words to come across to thepage and then turning it into, I
am statements of the thingsalready being done and here and
(32:40):
felt, so that you're connectingthe deep wisdom and longings and
what you really want, whatreally matters most to you, from
the heart and the body, withthe conscious mind.
Once you've got your heartfeltwish list for 2025, summarise it
in a heartfelt, body, felt wordof the year, which is the
(33:03):
essence of it, the essence of ithappening, being true for you,
that you can connect with forone minute every morning, before
your mind has wrecked your day,getting busy If you forget in
the morning.
I'm prioritizing, notforgetting in the morning,
because this is the structureand I know it works, or I'm
(33:24):
hoping it will work for you too,but this is a practice we're
going to forget or it might notfeel so easy one day.
So another thing to do would bewhen you notice the feelings of
it being done coming up to you.
So if you had this spontaneousjoy, you go yes, that's it back
in the game.
(33:44):
That's my word of the year.
So it's also a discovery.
It's not like it's a once anddone and, as things happen
during the year, notice thefeeling more and more.
So what you're doing is you'redrawing your attention to the
feelings of it being done moreand more because we get what we
focus on.
So you're increasing thefeeling of joy or calm in your
(34:04):
body and then every month, do aheartfelt priorities check-in,
decide what you're prioritizingthis month and every week, break
it down even smaller intoweekly heartfelt priorities.
That's it.
I hope you found that helpful,intriguing, uplifting anything.
(34:26):
If you want to let me know, youcan contact me by going to my
website or contact me in all thenormal places social media or
you can email me, heidi, atHeidiMarkcouk.
I'd love to hear from youWishing you the most gently,
rebellious 2025, where you getto stay focused on what matters
(34:47):
most to you.
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