Is your to-do list slowly crushing your spirit, no matter how hard you work to conquer it?
If you've ever felt paralyzed by a never-ending list of responsibilities—juggling work, home life, and everything in between—you're not alone. In this episode, you'll hear the real-life story of Jenny, a business owner and mom of four, whose overwhelming to-do list created a daily cycle of burnout, anxiety, and frustration. But more importantly, you'll discover what helped her break free—and how you can too.
In this episode, you will:
- Learn how to identify and escape the "doom cycle" that keeps you stuck in unproductive stress loops.
- Discover a mindset shift that instantly reduces the pressure to “do it all.”
- Walk away with a simple method to prioritize your tasks realistically and feel good about your progress.
Press play now to learn the one shift that transformed Jenny’s chaotic days into calmer, more productive ones—so you can start doing less and accomplishing more.
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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michelle Gauthier (00:04):
Your to-do list isn't actually the problem,
even if it feels like it is.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former overwhelmed
working woman and current lifecoach.
(00:25):
On this show, we unpack theGothier, a former overwhelmed
working woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences, andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hi, friend, I have a greatepisode for you today, but
before I jump into that, I wantto tell you two things.
(00:45):
Number one is April is thesecond birthday of the
Overwhelmed Working Womanpodcast.
I am so delighted that this isthe case.
We are currently in the top 2%of podcasts of the 3.5 million
podcasts all over the world, andthat makes me so happy.
We've got 130 somethingepisodes and I really want to
(01:07):
take some time in April tocelebrate, and I'm asking you to
participate with me in that.
I would love for you to send mea voice memo, and I've got a
web page set up for you to dojust this, and what I want to
know from you is, say hi in yourname and where you're from.
And then, what has been yourfavorite part of the podcast?
(01:28):
Is there an episode?
Is there a certain takeaway?
How has the podcast impactedyour life?
And then I want you to ask meanything.
Ask me any question.
It can be personal, it can beabout coaching, it can be about
the podcast, it can be about mydog who's barking right now as
I'm trying to record this.
Whatever you want it to be, itjust should be between 30 and 60
(01:48):
seconds, and then I'm going tofeature those on the podcast and
answer your questions.
It really would make me feelconnected to the community and,
I think, make the listeners feelconnected to one another.
So if you are up for doing that, I would absolutely love it.
There is a link in the shownotes that says send me a voice
note for the anniversary, and Iwould love for you to do that.
Okay, so let's jump intotoday's episode.
(02:12):
Today I'm going to tell you astory my real life client, Jenny
, who was drowning in to-dos andher to-do list was killing her.
It was killing her productivity, it was killing her spirit, it
was just making her feelabsolutely miserable.
And when we investigated whythat was happening and found
what the solution was to that.
(02:33):
I asked her if I could sharethe story on the podcast,
because it's just so relatable.
I hear things like this.
It's not the exact same storyas hers, but I hear this same
kind of story all the time.
So let me introduce you toJenny and her situation.
So Jenny owns a company.
She has lots of employees atthat company.
She herself does the majorityof the leadership and
(03:01):
administrative work, plus lotsof other tasks that she just
picks up along the way, becausesometimes, as an owner, that's
just the kind of thing that youdo.
She's also a mom of four kids.
She has a husband and she hasthree dogs.
So you can imagine, just basedon those facts alone, that Jenny
has a pretty big to-do list,and when she started coaching
with me, the first thing that weworked on was her to-do list.
When I said what is the moststressful thing in your life
(03:22):
right now, she said my to-dolist.
I'm just not getting anythingdone.
So I dug into understandingthis with her, because the way
that I approach it in coachingis we talk through exactly what
is happening, and so we got realin depth about what was going
on with her to-do list.
So here's what I found out.
So every morning Jenny wouldwake up and before she was even
(03:44):
fully awake, she would feel thispressure before she even got
out of bed.
And then she would look at herto-do list and think I have to
do everything on this list today, the way that we feel.
(04:05):
So she had the thought I haveto do everything on my list
today, and it created a feelingof panic and inadequacy and this
feeling of being trapped.
Can anybody relate to that?
Raise your hand if you can.
Absolutely Amen to that.
So instead of making progress,then, when she's feeling
panicked and trapped, what Jennywas doing instead were a couple
things and see if any of theseresonate with you as well.
(04:26):
She would either do nothing,meaning freeze, grab her dog and
a blanket and watch some TV andtry to distract herself and
almost hide under the blanketjust to avoid life, or she would
go into this panic of workingand trying to do things so
(04:46):
quickly and snapping at peoplewho interrupted her and really
not getting anything donebecause she was in I'm picturing
like a tornado.
That's how I feel when I get inthat frantic work mode.
So by the end of the day,instead of feeling accomplished
for what she did get done, shefelt awful.
She was exhausted, she feltlike she was still behind and
(05:06):
that was leading to more thingson her to-do list to carry over
to the next day, plus headachesand stress and other physical
symptoms.
As we looked into this processbecause the first thing we do is
look at what's happeningwithout judgment A lot of times
our brain gets into patterns andthey are unconscious.
So Jenny did not know.
She couldn't have articulatedall of this until we sat down
(05:28):
and talked about it.
So when I asked her about it, Isaid what should we call this
process?
And she said the doom cycle.
This is the doom cycle thathappens to me every day Wake up
exhausted, panic about the to-dolist, either frantically try to
get things done or get nothingdone, and then feel like crap
about it at the end of the day,and that's just the cycle that
she was in.
(05:50):
So the homework she had as aresult of that session was to
change nothing that she wasdoing and only to work on
noticing.
When she was in the doom cycle,I said just notice when you're
in it, notice when you're havingthat thought and just start
keeping a tally of how much thisis happening.
Because, as funny as it sounds,we have these beliefs, these
(06:12):
thoughts that we're having, likethe thought she was having of I
have to get everything donetoday, and when we have those
kinds of thoughts, they're oftenunconscious.
So I wanted her to bring thatthought to consciousness and to
have awareness of the doom cycleand see what was going on with
it, without judgment.
All we're doing is looking atthis and observing what's going
on with your brain and your body.
(06:33):
When she came back to me thenext week, what she discovered
and in fact she even texted mein between our sessions to say,
oh my gosh, I'm in the doomcycle all the time.
This is happening to meliterally all the time, all day
long.
I'm just starting the cycleover and over and over again,
and so that is so helpful to beable to see.
No wonder you're feeling soyucky and you're feeling so
(06:56):
trapped.
It's because, behind the scenes, your brain is constantly
saying you've got to get thisall done.
You've got to get it all done.
You've got to get it all donetoday.
So the next step we took was towork on Jenny substituting in a
new thought, and the new thoughtthat she decided on is I'm not
going to do it all, and that'sokay, I'll do some, or I do good
(07:16):
work every day.
Those were her new thoughtsthat she came up with so, as she
was able to catch herself inthe doom cycle and then
substitute in a thought like I'mnot going to do it all, and
that's okay, I will do some,I'll do good work every day,
what happened is she felt muchmore relaxed in her approach to
her to-do list.
(07:37):
The other thing we did was somebasic math.
We estimated how many hours aday she was awake.
Then we looked at her typicalday how many hours are you
driving your kids around?
How many hours do you haveappointments?
How many hours are you at work?
How many hours are you spendingeating, showering, walking your
dogs, hanging out with yourfamily, and then, at the end of
(07:59):
that, what is left for you toget this, these things done that
you need to do?
And so what we found out is thatit literally wasn't humanly
possible to do everything in theday.
So all day long she's tellingherself I have to do everything
and just mathematically speaking, she was feeling like oh, let's
say she's awake 18 hours a day.
(08:21):
Okay, I'm awake 18 hours a day,surely I can get all this stuff
done.
But when we figured in all ofher time, that was already
committed.
She had like two hours to spendand so that's fine.
You just means you need to planthat you can work on two hours
worth of stuff, not 100 or 18hours worth of stuff.
So as she subbed in those newthoughts of I'm not going to do
(08:43):
it all and that's okay, I'll dosome.
I'll do good work every day, itcreated a much more relaxing
feeling in her body and then shewas able to start a new process
where she just looks at her topthree things and she's able to
work on those top three things.
So it's interesting becausebefore, when she was in the doom
cycle, all the time she hadthis giant to-do list and she
(09:05):
felt like she was gettingnothing done.
And now she feels relaxed andshe's working on those top three
things.
Even if she doesn't get allthree of them done, she can see
that she's made progress and shecan try again the next day.
So the moral of this story isit's the problem is not your
to-do list.
Jenny's to-do list was far toolong for considering the actual
(09:26):
hours she had and theexpectations she had of herself,
but it was really the way thatshe was thinking about her to-do
list and putting pressure onherself that was causing her to
not be able to get anything done.
Thank you, jenny, for beingwilling to share your story,
because I feel like this issuper relatable to anybody who
is listening to this podcast.
Next thing that Jenny and I aregonna be working on and maybe
(09:49):
I'll do a continuation episode,if this is something that you
guys like hearing about is we'relooking at everything that she
does have on her to-do list andfiguring out which ones can be
outsourced, which onesabsolutely have to be her, and
how she can start delegatingthat.
So that's really going to beour next step.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday and thanks to Jenny for
(10:10):
allowing me to share her storyon the podcast.
To help all of you, don'tforget to send me a voice note
and tell me your favorite partof the podcast and ask me
whatever questions that you have.
I'm really grateful that you'rea listener and, as I'm taking
the time each week to thinkabout topics to talk to you
about, I have all of you in mind, and I'm thinking about this
(10:30):
whole community, and I am sograteful for you.
Have a great week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthiercom.
See you next week.
Your to-do list isn't actually the problem,
even if it feels like it is.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former overwhelmed
working woman and current lifecoach.
(00:25):
On this show, we unpack theGothier, a former overwhelmed
working woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences, andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hi, friend, I have a greatepisode for you today, but
before I jump into that, I wantto tell you two things.
(00:45):
Number one is April is thesecond birthday of the
Overwhelmed Working Womanpodcast.
I am so delighted that this isthe case.
We are currently in the top 2%of podcasts of the 3.5 million
podcasts all over the world, andthat makes me so happy.
We've got 130 somethingepisodes and I really want to
(01:07):
take some time in April tocelebrate, and I'm asking you to
participate with me in that.
I would love for you to send mea voice memo, and I've got a
web page set up for you to dojust this, and what I want to
know from you is, say hi in yourname and where you're from.
And then, what has been yourfavorite part of the podcast?
(01:28):
Is there an episode?
Is there a certain takeaway?
How has the podcast impactedyour life?
And then I want you to ask meanything.
Ask me any question.
It can be personal, it can beabout coaching, it can be about
the podcast, it can be about mydog who's barking right now as
I'm trying to record this.
Whatever you want it to be, itjust should be between 30 and 60
(01:48):
seconds, and then I'm going tofeature those on the podcast and
answer your questions.
It really would make me feelconnected to the community and,
I think, make the listeners feelconnected to one another.
So if you are up for doing that, I would absolutely love it.
There is a link in the shownotes that says send me a voice
note for the anniversary, and Iwould love for you to do that.
Okay, so let's jump intotoday's episode.
(02:12):
Today I'm going to tell you astory my real life client, Jenny
, who was drowning in to-dos andher to-do list was killing her.
It was killing her productivity, it was killing her spirit, it
was just making her feelabsolutely miserable.
And when we investigated whythat was happening and found
what the solution was to that.
(02:33):
I asked her if I could sharethe story on the podcast,
because it's just so relatable.
I hear things like this.
It's not the exact same storyas hers, but I hear this same
kind of story all the time.
So let me introduce you toJenny and her situation.
So Jenny owns a company.
She has lots of employees atthat company.
She herself does the majorityof the leadership and
(03:01):
administrative work, plus lotsof other tasks that she just
picks up along the way, becausesometimes, as an owner, that's
just the kind of thing that youdo.
She's also a mom of four kids.
She has a husband and she hasthree dogs.
So you can imagine, just basedon those facts alone, that Jenny
has a pretty big to-do list,and when she started coaching
with me, the first thing that weworked on was her to-do list.
When I said what is the moststressful thing in your life
(03:22):
right now, she said my to-dolist.
I'm just not getting anythingdone.
So I dug into understandingthis with her, because the way
that I approach it in coachingis we talk through exactly what
is happening, and so we got realin depth about what was going
on with her to-do list.
So here's what I found out.
So every morning Jenny wouldwake up and before she was even
(03:44):
fully awake, she would feel thispressure before she even got
out of bed.
And then she would look at herto-do list and think I have to
do everything on this list today, the way that we feel.
(04:05):
So she had the thought I haveto do everything on my list
today, and it created a feelingof panic and inadequacy and this
feeling of being trapped.
Can anybody relate to that?
Raise your hand if you can.
Absolutely Amen to that.
So instead of making progress,then, when she's feeling
panicked and trapped, what Jennywas doing instead were a couple
things and see if any of theseresonate with you as well.
(04:26):
She would either do nothing,meaning freeze, grab her dog and
a blanket and watch some TV andtry to distract herself and
almost hide under the blanketjust to avoid life, or she would
go into this panic of workingand trying to do things so
(04:46):
quickly and snapping at peoplewho interrupted her and really
not getting anything donebecause she was in I'm picturing
like a tornado.
That's how I feel when I get inthat frantic work mode.
So by the end of the day,instead of feeling accomplished
for what she did get done, shefelt awful.
She was exhausted, she feltlike she was still behind and
(05:06):
that was leading to more thingson her to-do list to carry over
to the next day, plus headachesand stress and other physical
symptoms.
As we looked into this processbecause the first thing we do is
look at what's happeningwithout judgment A lot of times
our brain gets into patterns andthey are unconscious.
So Jenny did not know.
She couldn't have articulatedall of this until we sat down
(05:28):
and talked about it.
So when I asked her about it, Isaid what should we call this
process?
And she said the doom cycle.
This is the doom cycle thathappens to me every day Wake up
exhausted, panic about the to-dolist, either frantically try to
get things done or get nothingdone, and then feel like crap
about it at the end of the day,and that's just the cycle that
she was in.
(05:50):
So the homework she had as aresult of that session was to
change nothing that she wasdoing and only to work on
noticing.
When she was in the doom cycle,I said just notice when you're
in it, notice when you're havingthat thought and just start
keeping a tally of how much thisis happening.
Because, as funny as it sounds,we have these beliefs, these
(06:12):
thoughts that we're having, likethe thought she was having of I
have to get everything donetoday, and when we have those
kinds of thoughts, they're oftenunconscious.
So I wanted her to bring thatthought to consciousness and to
have awareness of the doom cycleand see what was going on with
it, without judgment.
All we're doing is looking atthis and observing what's going
on with your brain and your body.
(06:33):
When she came back to me thenext week, what she discovered
and in fact she even texted mein between our sessions to say,
oh my gosh, I'm in the doomcycle all the time.
This is happening to meliterally all the time, all day
long.
I'm just starting the cycleover and over and over again,
and so that is so helpful to beable to see.
No wonder you're feeling soyucky and you're feeling so
(06:56):
trapped.
It's because, behind the scenes, your brain is constantly
saying you've got to get thisall done.
You've got to get it all done.
You've got to get it all donetoday.
So the next step we took was towork on Jenny substituting in a
new thought, and the new thoughtthat she decided on is I'm not
going to do it all, and that'sokay, I'll do some, or I do good
(07:16):
work every day.
Those were her new thoughtsthat she came up with so, as she
was able to catch herself inthe doom cycle and then
substitute in a thought like I'mnot going to do it all, and
that's okay, I will do some,I'll do good work every day,
what happened is she felt muchmore relaxed in her approach to
her to-do list.
(07:37):
The other thing we did was somebasic math.
We estimated how many hours aday she was awake.
Then we looked at her typicalday how many hours are you
driving your kids around?
How many hours do you haveappointments?
How many hours are you at work?
How many hours are you spendingeating, showering, walking your
dogs, hanging out with yourfamily, and then, at the end of
(07:59):
that, what is left for you toget this, these things done that
you need to do?
And so what we found out is thatit literally wasn't humanly
possible to do everything in theday.
So all day long she's tellingherself I have to do everything
and just mathematically speaking, she was feeling like oh, let's
say she's awake 18 hours a day.
(08:21):
Okay, I'm awake 18 hours a day,surely I can get all this stuff
done.
But when we figured in all ofher time, that was already
committed.
She had like two hours to spendand so that's fine.
You just means you need to planthat you can work on two hours
worth of stuff, not 100 or 18hours worth of stuff.
So as she subbed in those newthoughts of I'm not going to do
(08:43):
it all and that's okay, I'll dosome.
I'll do good work every day, itcreated a much more relaxing
feeling in her body and then shewas able to start a new process
where she just looks at her topthree things and she's able to
work on those top three things.
So it's interesting becausebefore, when she was in the doom
cycle, all the time she hadthis giant to-do list and she
(09:05):
felt like she was gettingnothing done.
And now she feels relaxed andshe's working on those top three
things.
Even if she doesn't get allthree of them done, she can see
that she's made progress and shecan try again the next day.
So the moral of this story isit's the problem is not your
to-do list.
Jenny's to-do list was far toolong for considering the actual
(09:26):
hours she had and theexpectations she had of herself,
but it was really the way thatshe was thinking about her to-do
list and putting pressure onherself that was causing her to
not be able to get anything done.
Thank you, jenny, for beingwilling to share your story,
because I feel like this issuper relatable to anybody who
is listening to this podcast.
Next thing that Jenny and I aregonna be working on and maybe
(09:49):
I'll do a continuation episode,if this is something that you
guys like hearing about is we'relooking at everything that she
does have on her to-do list andfiguring out which ones can be
outsourced, which onesabsolutely have to be her, and
how she can start delegatingthat.
So that's really going to beour next step.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday and thanks to Jenny for
(10:10):
allowing me to share her storyon the podcast.
To help all of you, don'tforget to send me a voice note
and tell me your favorite partof the podcast and ask me
whatever questions that you have.
I'm really grateful that you'rea listener and, as I'm taking
the time each week to thinkabout topics to talk to you
about, I have all of you in mind, and I'm thinking about this
(10:30):
whole community, and I am sograteful for you.
Have a great week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthiercom.
See you next week.
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