Ever feel like you’ll never be confident enough to chase your goals—or that anxiety always gets in your way?
If you’ve been stuck in patterns of self-doubt, overthinking, or negative self-talk, this episode dives into why that happens and how today’s high-performing women can finally break free. Licensed therapist Joanne Williams shares powerful, practical tools to help you create lasting confidence—without the pressure to be perfect.
In this episode, you will:
- Learn how anxiety and low confidence are deeply connected (and how to shift both).
- Discover the ACT framework that helps retrain your brain away from self-sabotage.
- Hear why radical self-responsibility—not blame—is the key to freedom and calm.
Hit play to learn how to stop second-guessing yourself and finally build confidence that sticks—no external validation required.
Featured on the podcast:
Anxiety Simplified podcast
Connect with Joanne on Facebook
Learn about Emotional Service Animals
Read Joanne's article on Overcoming Anxiety on Medium.com
Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.
Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!
Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.
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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Joanne Williams (00:00):
What are you going to do about it?
It's your responsibility now togo learn the skills.
Woman and current life coach.
Michelle Gauthier (00:06):
On this show we unpack the stress and
pressure that today's workingwoman experiences, and in each
(00:27):
episode you'll get a strategy tobring more calm, ease and
relaxation to your life.
Hi friend, thanks for joiningtoday.
If you've ever struggled withself doubt, anxiety or just
feeling like you don't have theconfidence you need to go after
what you want.
Today's episode is for you.
And also I don't have theconfidence.
You need to go after what youwant.
(00:48):
Today's episode is for you.
And also I don't know anyonewho hasn't occasionally
struggled with self-doubt,anxiety or a lack of confidence,
so this is a good one for justabout any human.
My guest today is JoanneWilliams, and she is a licensed
mental health professional with30 years of experience
specializing in anxiety andconfidence building and PTSD.
I really enjoyed theconversation with her because
(01:08):
during the conversation, thetips and ideas that she provided
were really simple andactionable.
So when you listen today, youwill hear how anxiety and
confidence are directlyconnected and why overcoming
anxiety is the key to buildingtrue self-confidence.
And then she'll also teach youabout a framework called the ACT
framework for retraining yourbrain so that you can shift from
(01:30):
negative self-talk to thoughtsthat actually serve you.
The conversation is full ofgreat and interesting
information, so let's dive in.
Joanne, welcome to the podcastand thanks for being here.
Joanne Williams (01:42):
Well, thank you for having me.
I love your podcast.
It's really informative.
Michelle Gauthier (01:46):
Oh good, Thank you, Same to yours.
I'm going to put the link inthe show notes so that everybody
can listen to yours as well.
So I recently read something itwas a quote about.
I'm going to butcher it alittle bit, but it's something
like we feel like we have tohave confidence before we do
something.
But in actuality, we get theconfidence from doing things,
(02:09):
you know like taking the step,and when I read that over the
weekend it made me think aboutyou, because I knew we were
going to talk about insecurityversus confidence today.
So I'm excited to dig in allthings insecurity and confidence
and have you teach us how tofeel more confident.
I'm also really interested inthe fact that you help certify
(02:29):
people to have a psychiatricservice dog, so I just want to
hear all about that too.
But before we jump into allthat, will you please just tell
the listeners who you are like,what you do in general, and I
don't know maybe a little bitabout your backstory, of how you
got into talking aboutconfidence and anxiety and all
the things that you talk about.
Joanne Williams (02:49):
Oh, I'd love to .
So I'll start kind of more atthe beginning.
I grew up in a family that waspervasive, lots of screwed up
things, but pervasively anxious,and I didn't even know it that.
You know my mother sheobsessively organized and really
rigid in her ways and I didn'tknow what that was.
That was kind of normal.
(03:10):
But I, you know, I really didn'tunderstand the impact on me
until later in life and that wasanxiety.
And then my dad was depressedand you know, and I, you know,
he just came home and sat in achair and put the paper up.
You know I didn't know evenwhat that was, but those kind of
impacts really made me want tounderstand more.
(03:31):
And then I married an alcoholic, you know, and so you know, I
wanted to know more and I hadtwo children.
At that point I went to therapyand I had to learn more about
what this really meant in mylife what anxiety was, what
depression, what alcoholism, thecodependence, how, my part in
taking responsibility.
(03:52):
That's why I went back toschool and I got my master's
degree and now has been acounselor for 30 years
counseling people, mainly withthe specialty of anxiety and
post-traumatic stress disorder.
Michelle Gauthier (04:06):
Okay, okay, and do you work with women, men,
anyone?
Joanne Williams (04:10):
Yeah, anyone and everyone that really wants
to work on their life skills iswhat I call it ways to get into
what to do in situations,because generally that's what
bothers people I'm good with mylife but it's just going into
crowds or I can't talk in socialsituations.
You know, it's like specifickind of things like that.
So I always go for where theywant to go and specific life
(04:34):
skills.
I would call it.
I kind of call it.
You know, counseling to me islike going to emotional college
classes that we never learned ina younger school or younger
years.
Michelle Gauthier (04:46):
Yes, absolutely true, so that's
really helpful.
Thank you for sharing yourpersonal story with us.
I just recently had anothertherapist on who had a lot of
anxiety and came by it honestlyfrom her family as well, and I
do think it's so neat when wetake something that has been
really hard for us and turn itinto good by, you know, sharing
(05:07):
our experience with other peopleand helping them.
So what do you think is therelationship between anxiety and
confidence?
Joanne Williams (05:17):
I really think that confidence, self-esteem,
self-worth comes from outsidefirst.
Our families share oh you'rethe most wonderful, you can do
anything kind of thing tosupport you.
And if you don't get that fromthe outside first in family or
school or wherever religionsthen you got to do it yourself.
Michelle Gauthier (05:39):
And.
Joanne Williams (05:39):
I think it leaves us, you know, to our own
devices, so to speak, about whatto do.
I'm anxious, I'm afraid ofgoing here and do it, but then
you haven't learned the skillsto do it, and then that creates
more self-doubt, more, you know,maybe even self-abusing, like
and I can't, I don't know how,I'm stupid, or, you know,
(05:59):
negative self-talk.
So I think there's just arelationship between the two,
and I don't like self-blaming ofanybody at any point parents or
whatever because at some pointwe've all got something from our
parents and we just have tofigure it out.
So it's like what are you goingto do about it?
It's your responsibility now togo learn the skills, and that's
(06:20):
why we do the podcast that wedo.
Mine is Anxiety, simplified.
There's books, there's so muchout there right now about
learning some ways to deal withthis, whether it's self-worth or
helping with confidence.
Michelle Gauthier (06:33):
Yeah, I just want to pull out one thing that
you said there, because youmentioned this at the beginning
too.
When you first went tocounseling, before you became a
therapist, I had the sameexperience of thinking that I
was going to go to a therapistand she was going to be like
you're right, he's a jerk,everyone's wrong, you're doing
everything right.
And when it was like, hey,here's your part in this, sister
(06:56):
, you're creating this foryourself in your life.
I think that that is the first,most painful step to take is
just really focusing on radicalresponsibility of what you're
bringing into your own life.
You said, for example, that youwere married to an alcoholic.
So that's a situation that youknow you could put a lot of
(07:18):
blame on that other person, butyou won't be able to solve it
until you look at your part init and you know take
responsibility.
So the reason why I'm bringingthis up is because you just said
again I want to make sure allthe listeners heard you loud and
clear that no matter whathappened when you were growing
up or what situation you're innow, you don't have to blame
anybody else or judge yourself.
(07:41):
You're probably doing the bestyou could up to this point.
But starting now, if you wantto feel less anxious, less
overwhelmed, more confident,start thinking about what you
own, and the good news aboutthat is that you own it, so you
can change it, you can makeyourself feel better.
I just had to give that littleaside because I just could not
(08:01):
wait to hear how I was amazingand how everyone else was
messing up.
Therapist, which you need, youneed that too.
Well, I could get that from mymom, you know in my case, right?
Joanne Williams (08:12):
I don't have to go to a therapist for that.
Michelle Gauthier (08:15):
Yeah, yeah, it is very good, you know a
couple of things on that.
Joanne Williams (08:18):
I feel like the other side of the coin to
blaming is responsibility.
There's always two sides and yetwe can blame and complain, like
you're saying, but it doesn'tdo any good.
The only way is taking a hundredpercent responsibility of your
part and, you know, moving intoit.
But I'll tell you a skill thatI also learned in therapy, that
(08:38):
I use every day and everythingthat I do, as well as in therapy
, because I don't think anybodyever taught this or really
talked about it how, like yousaid, it's your responsibility
and you can change it.
But understanding that yourthoughts are what starts that
process, that create the emotionthat's connected to it that
(09:01):
then creates the behavior thatyou take.
Because if you're talking abouttaking responsibility to maybe
feel uncomfortable, calmer inyour life, let's say, or more
confident in your life, if thatstarts with the thought I'm
nothing, I'm worthless andwhatever, you're not going to go
to a confident, calming thought, you know.
(09:21):
And so, re-looking at becomingmore aware of the thoughts that
you're putting in your head,that you are responsible for now
and be able to look at it in adifferent way that is much more
supportive and much more kinder.
I would say really to buildwhatever that strength or
(09:44):
confidence that you want.
Michelle Gauthier (09:47):
And how do you do that?
So if you realize that you'rehaving a thought like I'm not
good at this, I'm not good atanything or whatever would
create that feeling ofinsecurity, then what?
Joanne Williams (09:59):
Well, and I came up with this ACT blueprint
that I use a lot.
First, the A is just becomeaware.
You've got to notice, you'vegot to recognize and I think
that's the hardest part to saythe truth, start to recognize
what you are actually saying toyourself, and you've probably
said this a million times, sothat's why it's out of your
awareness.
(10:20):
And that's really the firststep.
But then the second step, orthe C, is connect what you're
telling yourself to what youwant to feel.
And if you want to feelconfident, what could you be
saying to yourself?
And a lot of times it'sabsolutely the opposite of what
you've been telling yourself.
So that's kind of a littletrick.
(10:40):
If you're already saying Ican't, well then you got to.
How can you come up with it?
I can do this.
I may need help, I may not knowhow, but I know for sure I will
be able to.
And you can just give yourselfthat feeling enough times to
start, go like the little enginethat could the chug, chug, chug
.
You can just continue thatpattern.
(11:01):
And that's the T of the ACTTrain your brain.
You got to retrain it to go tothis new pattern, being aware,
connect your thought with yourfeeling really to go to.
I got this, I feel this, and Ithink that's always the missing
piece.
I think we're always in ourhead about things oh, this or
that, that, no, get to yourheart.
(11:21):
See if you can get down to yourheart and feel what you're
saying.
I got this, I know, I can, Iwill and feel it.
Michelle Gauthier (11:33):
And if at first they don't feel it, is it
still worth it to practice that,or should they try something
different?
Joanne Williams (11:40):
You have to.
There's no way about same thingyou know just about how do you
build confidence.
You don't have it in thebeginning, but how do you get
anything?
How do we get out of the thirdgrade?
How do we go intomultiplication?
We didn't jump from addition tomultiplication, we had to learn
(12:00):
, you know, how to add, subtractand then do division, and then
we went on and on.
This is no different.
But if you expect yourself tobe able to jump, I got this.
I'm going to fake thisconfidence, no matter what
People see through it.
And if you have to fake it fora minute, but you got to get to
the feeling it, and there's onlyone way, and it is doing it,
(12:24):
practicing it Like just thepractice, practice, practice.
Michelle Gauthier (12:26):
Yes, practice , practice.
I like to think about it.
For me, I was like 40-something, I don't remember, when I
started doing this kind of work,where I started having
awareness of my thoughts andwhat my self-talk was and I
thought, well, it took me 41,two years to get here with this
pattern.
So now it's luckily, it doesn'ttake that long to build a new
(12:48):
one, but it takes some time.
You can't just like flip aswitch and, you know, get going.
So I love that, I love theencouragement and like the grace
or kindness to give yourself tosay this might take a minute,
we're going to have to keeppracticing this, but it's so
worth it when you can startgetting your confidence from
(13:09):
yourself and your own thoughts,instead of trying to get it from
your job or someone else'sapproval, because those are not
foolproof methods.
In fact they're the opposite.
Joanne Williams (13:20):
Yeah, and you know, I feel like sometimes when
you start a new practice likethat, it's like trying to stop a
locomotive on the tracks itjust runs you down.
You just miss it.
Oh, I missed another.
Oh, I missed it, oh, but Icaught one.
So one out of a hundred youcatch and change that pattern,
Then it'll be, you'll catch moreand more of them and then
(13:42):
you'll get caught off guard alot less and won't get run over.
You'll go.
Oh yeah, because this one feelsso good.
I like this new feeling.
Michelle Gauthier (13:51):
Yeah, I love that.
That's such a good way to thinkabout it.
Okay, so if somebody out thereright now is thinking I know I
have some negative self-talkthat I need to change, be
encouraged that it is totallypossible and that you can start
just by starting to notice yourthoughts, connecting your
thoughts and your feelings.
And then is the last what Isthe T taking action?
Joanne Williams (14:12):
Retrain your brain.
You got to keep doing it.
That's the practice.
That's right.
That's right.
Michelle Gauthier (14:17):
Retrain your brain.
I like that.
Act.
That's good.
I like it, Okay, great.
So another area that I know youfocus on and I noticed in the
picture that we're going to beusing for this podcast, you have
a dog on your lap.
I do.
Joanne Williams (14:33):
I'm surprised, I don't right now.
Yeah, I don't.
Michelle Gauthier (14:36):
My dog's under there.
Joanne Williams (14:37):
I just looked yeah, she's under my desk.
Michelle Gauthier (14:38):
But she's big , she weighs 65.
She can't sit on my lap.
She'd like to?
She can yeah.
Joanne Williams (14:44):
They still think they're lap
Michelle Gauthier (14:47):
Yes, yes, exactly.
So tell me about your work withthat and helping people get
certified to have dogs and theeffect you think that dogs can
have on anxiety, confidence orany so huge?
Joanne Williams (15:01):
Well, about 13 years ago I was just on a plane
and I had a little dog but Ididn't know about any of this,
that you could do that and hewas a little crate and he was
acting up and I was justpanicked.
And I had panicked and so thatwas the kind stewardess that
came over and says you know,there's a program.
(15:22):
If you wanted to get a letterfrom a mental health
professional that states youneed your dog, you could fly
with him on your lap.
I'm like what?
And they have.
There's a flying law.
I'm like what?
And they have.
There's a flying law.
It's called the Air Care AccessAct, and so ever since then so
I've been a therapist forprobably 20 years.
At that point I didn't evenknow about that law.
(15:43):
And there's a law that you canFair Housing Act, that you can
have your dog in no pet housing,and so they did change the
flying law four years ago thatit has to be a psychiatric
service dog and now it's onlydogs to fly, and that is the
third law that covers this,called the Americans with
Disabilities Act.
(16:04):
A lot of people hear it as theADA and that states if your dog
recognizes, responds and reducespsychological symptoms.
They can be a psychiatricservice dog.
So I've been doing this now.
Well, I started, like I said,with emotional support animals,
but about 13 years, and so I andyou have to have psychological
(16:30):
symptoms right and the tasks arethat they're trained to do
connects the task with theirdiagnosis anxiety, panic, ptsd,
depression and that's what I do.
And then, once they getcertified, they get a letter to
be able to give for housing orthey give it a little ID card
that has a picture of theirlittle doggy.
(16:52):
I'm showing a little picturethat you have your dog for an ID
to go into stores to show or apublic places or public
transportation.
So I find it for a lot of myclients again, my specialty is
anxiety and PTSD.
Now, using a dog is a gamechanger in their lives.
They will go to the store, theywill go to family gatherings
(17:14):
because they can bring their dog, or social outings where
they're like I'm too shy, I'mgoing to stand in the car, I'm
not going to talk to everybodywho sees the dog and that's all
they want to talk about.
Like, great, take the focus offof me and put it on the dog.
Yeah, happy to go.
So it can be really lifechanging.
Michelle Gauthier (17:33):
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's amazing.
So what do you have to do?
Do you have to do anything withthe dog?
Or do they get the dog trainedsomewhere?
Or are a lot of these dogs?
I'm thinking my dog's had notraining.
In fact, she could use sometraining on not eating off the
counter as an example.
But I promise you, when any ofthe three of us who live in this
(17:53):
house are sick, upset, anythingis wrong, she immediately knows
it.
She will come over, like if I'mcrying, she licks the tears off
my face, or even if I just feelupset, she'll just come and lay
by me.
Joanne Williams (18:16):
I mean she knows, and I don't think she's
special in that way.
I think she's really specialand I don't think she's special
in that way.
I feel like dogs just have asixth sense.
For that Our sun dogs do, andthat's the key, and you know.
But the training, the basicbehavioral training sit, stay
calm has to be there becauseagain they're going with you in
a crowded, you know, airport orsitting on a plane.
So they're all even ouremotional support animals had to
have basic training, basictraining, doggy training Like
(18:38):
the army.
You know the who can't, but youcan get that almost anywhere.
You know PetSmart or whatever.
I did, the AKC, good Citizens,you know, and you can get some
certifications for that.
But truly, even for a servicedog that for medical now,
psychological and medical theykind of divide it up.
(18:59):
They're all service dogs butpsychiatric or medical, for
blindness, hearing impaired no,none of these three laws have
ever stated that you have tohave professional trainers or,
you know, be professionallytrained with an organization,
ever.
They can train their own dogand, just like you're saying,
your dog already is in tune withyou.
(19:21):
That's what all of these dogskind of are first, and then this
piece that they have torecognize.
Though, like you said, youstart crying, something's up,
they come to you.
It's not about you calling themover when you're anxious.
They have to respond to thatanxiety or panic attack or
something and then do the task,what they do for you.
(19:44):
Maybe they can take you througha crowd.
They just kind of move youthrough a crowd, maybe it is.
They just can get on your lapand find pressure therapy.
But it's got to reduce youranxiety or panic so you don't
have panic attacks.
So they have to and you have toknow how to say that.
And then I do a training withpeople on what to say what you
(20:07):
never have to say, because it'sone thing to get a psych yet,
but then what do I say to thestore owner?
It's one thing to get a psychkit, but then how do I?
How, what do I say to the storeowner?
You know if they say things toyou.
And so that's a second part ofthis, that I train people to
really know how to use their dogconfidently, because most
people with anxiety or PTSD,they're already shell-shocked in
(20:29):
the center.
If you ask me anything, they gointo deer in the headlights,
look but, but, but, but.
They can't.
Their mind freezes up, they goblank.
And so the training is weactually role play this?
What are you going to say?
Do it again.
Well, I'll get this so you canjust flick this off.
And so it really helps them tofeel confident, to be able to
use their dogs.
Michelle Gauthier (20:50):
I'm just shuddering, thinking about the
questions that people probablyask dogs.
Joanne Williams (20:54):
I'm just shuddering, thinking about the
questions that people probablyask.
Oh, and there's only two thatthey have to respond to, which
is really good.
One is is your dog requiredbecause of a disability?
So what I'm certifying is theyhave a psychological,
psychiatric disability becauseof their symptoms, right?
The other one is what is thetask that your dog is trained to
(21:19):
help you with?
And that is what I was justsaying.
My service dog is trained torecognize that my anxiety is
increasing, responds by comingover, leaning into me, getting
my lap to apply pressure therapyto reduce my anxiety, or
something like that, and youjust get the recognize, respond
and reduce in that statement andthat's all that's required.
(21:43):
But I got to tell you it's notreally funny but that's why I
train, because you do get thesewacko kind of statements.
One of the clients told me theysaid the person asked what's
wrong with you.
Michelle Gauthier (21:54):
Mm-hmm, that's exactly what I was
picturing.
Someone say Yep, yep, and Iswear.
I like to think that people arenot trying to be in there, just
being curious, but they don'tknow how to say it.
But how does one respond tothat?
Joanne Williams (22:10):
Well, the way I train is again on the back of
the little ID card.
There is what you can only ask.
What is the task my dog istrained to do?
Or is my dog required becauseof a disability?
Which one would you like me toanswer?
So I always come up withnon-confrontative ways, and
that's part of the training.
So they know what to say,because I'm telling you, they're
(22:32):
dying inside.
They are so scared and soanxious, and the reason why they
need their dog there with them.
But people don't realize thatthis is so debilitating for so
many people and that their dogstruly help them.
And you know, I feel like wegive lip service to more mental
health services andda-da-da-da-da, but there's
(22:53):
still just a lot of judgment.
Oh, you don't look like youneed a dog.
You don't look like you havepanic, you know, and it's like
public.
Please be kind Don't judge.
Michelle Gauthier (23:07):
Yeah, I wonder what a person looks like
who has panic.
I didn't know that there was acertain look to it or what
you're supposed to look like.
Joanne Williams (23:18):
Yeah, and I'm telling you, when you ask them a
question, watch their eyes.
Yeah, you know they get big andyou'll see that I don't care.
I can't even speak, and that'sthat.
You know there's fight, run orfreeze and PTSD.
They may get confrontative.
(23:38):
No, what are you talking?
That's funny, right, freeze up.
I can't say anything.
I'm getting out of here, I'mnot dealing with this, and so
that's what the responsegenerally is, and people do not
understand that that is aresponse to a trauma in their
past that has made it so hardfor them to live life.
Michelle Gauthier (23:57):
That's such a great way to think about it.
Okay, well, I love that you dothat too.
That's so cool.
So you're teaching the humanhow to manage through those and
then teaching them how to managewith their dog, taking them in
public places so that they canbe out and about everywhere?
Okay, tell us.
These are the questions that Iask everyone on the show.
Joanne Williams (24:17):
So tell us what's something that you do
when you're feeling overwhelmedor anxious and you want to feel
better vagus nerve, not like LasVegas, but V-A-G-U-S nerve, and
(24:42):
it's our largest nerve thatruns from our gut to our brain,
that these medical researcherswere looking for?
What would stimulate that vagusnerve to calm you and, within a
minute, to send a calmingchemical into your system?
Just breathing, four count inyour nose, breathing out your
mouth, and eight count, and evenI find it even in like three to
(25:03):
five rounds of this.
They suggested doing about 10rounds until you feel the shift
or release.
And when you do, you can.
It's like a.
I don't know if you've evertaken Xanax, but it's like that
feeling like, oh, it's just animmediate Okay, like I'm going
to be okay, yes, yeah, yeah.
Michelle Gauthier (25:22):
When I come out of overwhelm, my first
thought is like okay, I canthink now, yes.
Joanne Williams (25:27):
That's what this does, because that's what
the thing it does.
It stops overthinking, it getsyou out of the overwhelm loop.
I call it back to zero or reset, so you can think, because you
can't think and feel the sametime.
If you're in an anxiety oroverwhelm spiral, you're just in
it.
You can't do it.
You can breathe to get back tozero.
(25:48):
To go to those thoughts Again,a new thought what would help me
right now?
I got this.
I've done this a million times.
I'm good at so many things.
I can do this.
I don't have to feel it, but Iuse this all the time.
I teach this to every singleclient.
Michelle Gauthier (26:06):
Okay, that's awesome, I love it.
Good, okay, and then the secondquestion is what is something
you do consistently to save time?
Joanne Williams (26:16):
Save time, I'm going to turn it around a little
bit.
I feel like I do a daily kindof spiritual practice and
meditation that takes me to aplace where I feel like I can
expand my energy field to beable to do more with less
anxiety and less overwhelm.
So I just have these spiritualpractices.
(26:38):
My daughter, seraphine Coatesshe's on my podcast too and she
just really teaches these moreesoteric kind of ways to build
self-love in her soul workcourses and I feel like that's
what it is.
It's like how can you give moreto yourself to have more
capacity as mothers, as women,as entrepreneurs, as we have to
(26:59):
do this, that and all theseother things that we do in our
lives?
It's almost like I like to justbuild my capacity to do more
with less overwhelm.
Michelle Gauthier (27:07):
And that's what I feel like these do.
Yeah, because I mean, even ifyou frame it in the way that I
originally was asking the wasteof time, the thing that you're
doing is avoiding waste of time.
The thing that you're doing isavoiding overwhelm and like,
what a waste of time.
That is because, at least forme, in overwhelm nothing good is
happening.
Joanne Williams (27:26):
I'm just spinning.
Michelle Gauthier (27:28):
So if you can do something ahead of time so
that you save yourself all thattime of overwhelm, that's
awesome.
So what does your morning looklike?
What do you do?
Joanne Williams (27:37):
And I've done this for 30 years.
That's the other key.
You've got to do something thatyou really develop and love.
You can't wait to do it, but Ihave.
I live in Florida, so I havethis beautiful lanai that I sit
out and there's a little canaland nature's right in front of
me, birds and all thesebeautiful feelings you know of.
And then I have a candle.
I like, I like smells.
(27:58):
So, I add that to my practice.
I have this comfy place in mycushion chair that I sit and I
will listen to either you knowsome meditation that I've
created, or that my daughter, orsome kind of practice.
That again brings me back to mycenter.
It's really part of myself-care practice that when I'm
(28:19):
done, I just go oh, I'm ready,I'm ready to take on more, I'm
ready for the day.
But it almost like draws methat I have to.
It's like not brushing my teethin the morning if I didn't do
it.
Michelle Gauthier (28:32):
It's like okay, okay, that's a solid habit
then.
Joanne Williams (28:35):
Yeah, I must, and it just cause it just feels
so good.
Michelle Gauthier (28:40):
Yeah, yes, I will sometimes think I don't
have time to do this morningroutine today.
And when I skip it, I am alwayssorry, and I more than make up
for the time that that wouldhave taken me in time, because
I'm just not in the rightmindset to get things done and
you know to have my day, butthat's so great, okay.
(29:01):
So what's a new thought there?
It's a great use of my time todo this right now.
Yes, so tell us where peoplecan find you if they want to
learn more about you or followsome of the things that you're
doing.
Joanne Williams (29:24):
Yes, oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, so, for psychiatricservice dogs, I've got a website
called ESA Pros.
Esa is like emotional supportanimal but E-S-A-P-R-O-S.
com, and there's informationabout whether you want an
emotional support animal forhousing or a psychiatric service
dog to go all places with you,and there's a 30-second
pre-qualification that you canjust right then and there see,
and it's a screening so you'llknow if you qualify and then
(29:46):
people move forward with that.
I do have a podcast on all themajor platforms Anxiety
Simplified Podcast that peoplecan do, and same for YouTube
Anxiety Simplified Podcast.
I'm on TikTok as well, so I'mand Facebook and I'm kind of
everywhere.
Joanne S S like, say, williams,so I'm kind of everywhere and I
(30:11):
really intend to do more, withcourses now on confidence
building coming up in the fall.
So there'll be more I'll becoming out with as well.
Michelle Gauthier (30:21):
Okay, so if people are following you on
Instagram, for example, willthey see that when it comes?
Joanne Williams (30:25):
out, it's available Okay.
Michelle Gauthier (30:27):
Okay, perfect , I will link all of that in the
show notes.
And then what about your newmagazine article?
I'll link that as well.
How about that?
Joanne Williams (30:36):
Oh, I'm so proud of this.
I'm telling you I really havenever been a writer but I sent
in an article on they werelooking for articles on
overcoming anxiety and I sent infive strategies and it got
accepted at this magazine calledMedium like in the middle, not
small, but Medium and it'sreally this really nice magazine
(30:58):
that really goes into humaninterest stories and kind of
strategies.
It's straightforward, kind ofshort ways, and I and I've loved
it.
So I got accepted for it andI've actually got an interview
with she wants to add a videointerview to it as well this
week, so I'll be doing that.
But you can find it onmediumcom.
Michelle Gauthier (31:19):
And I have the link because I saw the
article, so I will put it inshow notes as well, please.
Joanne Williams (31:26):
Great job.
Michelle Gauthier (31:26):
Great job getting the word out there about
anxiety and opportunities likehaving a dog to help you with
that and helping people of allkinds have more confidence.
I just love what you're puttingout into the world.
Thanks for being with us today.
Joanne Williams (31:42):
Thank you very much.
Michelle Gauthier (31:50):
Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed
Working Woman podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
com.
See you next week.
What are you going to do about it?
It's your responsibility now togo learn the skills.
Woman and current life coach.
Michelle Gauthier (00:06):
On this show we unpack the stress and
pressure that today's workingwoman experiences, and in each
(00:27):
episode you'll get a strategy tobring more calm, ease and
relaxation to your life.
Hi friend, thanks for joiningtoday.
If you've ever struggled withself doubt, anxiety or just
feeling like you don't have theconfidence you need to go after
what you want.
Today's episode is for you.
And also I don't have theconfidence.
You need to go after what youwant.
(00:48):
Today's episode is for you.
And also I don't know anyonewho hasn't occasionally
struggled with self-doubt,anxiety or a lack of confidence,
so this is a good one for justabout any human.
My guest today is JoanneWilliams, and she is a licensed
mental health professional with30 years of experience
specializing in anxiety andconfidence building and PTSD.
I really enjoyed theconversation with her because
(01:08):
during the conversation, thetips and ideas that she provided
were really simple andactionable.
So when you listen today, youwill hear how anxiety and
confidence are directlyconnected and why overcoming
anxiety is the key to buildingtrue self-confidence.
And then she'll also teach youabout a framework called the ACT
framework for retraining yourbrain so that you can shift from
(01:30):
negative self-talk to thoughtsthat actually serve you.
The conversation is full ofgreat and interesting
information, so let's dive in.
Joanne, welcome to the podcastand thanks for being here.
Joanne Williams (01:42):
Well, thank you for having me.
I love your podcast.
It's really informative.
Michelle Gauthier (01:46):
Oh good, Thank you, Same to yours.
I'm going to put the link inthe show notes so that everybody
can listen to yours as well.
So I recently read something itwas a quote about.
I'm going to butcher it alittle bit, but it's something
like we feel like we have tohave confidence before we do
something.
But in actuality, we get theconfidence from doing things,
(02:09):
you know like taking the step,and when I read that over the
weekend it made me think aboutyou, because I knew we were
going to talk about insecurityversus confidence today.
So I'm excited to dig in allthings insecurity and confidence
and have you teach us how tofeel more confident.
I'm also really interested inthe fact that you help certify
(02:29):
people to have a psychiatricservice dog, so I just want to
hear all about that too.
But before we jump into allthat, will you please just tell
the listeners who you are like,what you do in general, and I
don't know maybe a little bitabout your backstory, of how you
got into talking aboutconfidence and anxiety and all
the things that you talk about.
Joanne Williams (02:49):
Oh, I'd love to .
So I'll start kind of more atthe beginning.
I grew up in a family that waspervasive, lots of screwed up
things, but pervasively anxious,and I didn't even know it that.
You know my mother sheobsessively organized and really
rigid in her ways and I didn'tknow what that was.
That was kind of normal.
(03:10):
But I, you know, I really didn'tunderstand the impact on me
until later in life and that wasanxiety.
And then my dad was depressedand you know, and I, you know,
he just came home and sat in achair and put the paper up.
You know I didn't know evenwhat that was, but those kind of
impacts really made me want tounderstand more.
(03:31):
And then I married an alcoholic, you know, and so you know, I
wanted to know more and I hadtwo children.
At that point I went to therapyand I had to learn more about
what this really meant in mylife what anxiety was, what
depression, what alcoholism, thecodependence, how, my part in
taking responsibility.
(03:52):
That's why I went back toschool and I got my master's
degree and now has been acounselor for 30 years
counseling people, mainly withthe specialty of anxiety and
post-traumatic stress disorder.
Michelle Gauthier (04:06):
Okay, okay, and do you work with women, men,
anyone?
Joanne Williams (04:10):
Yeah, anyone and everyone that really wants
to work on their life skills iswhat I call it ways to get into
what to do in situations,because generally that's what
bothers people I'm good with mylife but it's just going into
crowds or I can't talk in socialsituations.
You know, it's like specifickind of things like that.
So I always go for where theywant to go and specific life
(04:34):
skills.
I would call it.
I kind of call it.
You know, counseling to me islike going to emotional college
classes that we never learned ina younger school or younger
years.
Michelle Gauthier (04:46):
Yes, absolutely true, so that's
really helpful.
Thank you for sharing yourpersonal story with us.
I just recently had anothertherapist on who had a lot of
anxiety and came by it honestlyfrom her family as well, and I
do think it's so neat when wetake something that has been
really hard for us and turn itinto good by, you know, sharing
(05:07):
our experience with other peopleand helping them.
So what do you think is therelationship between anxiety and
confidence?
Joanne Williams (05:17):
I really think that confidence, self-esteem,
self-worth comes from outsidefirst.
Our families share oh you'rethe most wonderful, you can do
anything kind of thing tosupport you.
And if you don't get that fromthe outside first in family or
school or wherever religionsthen you got to do it yourself.
Michelle Gauthier (05:39):
And.
Joanne Williams (05:39):
I think it leaves us, you know, to our own
devices, so to speak, about whatto do.
I'm anxious, I'm afraid ofgoing here and do it, but then
you haven't learned the skillsto do it, and then that creates
more self-doubt, more, you know,maybe even self-abusing, like
and I can't, I don't know how,I'm stupid, or, you know,
(05:59):
negative self-talk.
So I think there's just arelationship between the two,
and I don't like self-blaming ofanybody at any point parents or
whatever because at some pointwe've all got something from our
parents and we just have tofigure it out.
So it's like what are you goingto do about it?
It's your responsibility now togo learn the skills, and that's
(06:20):
why we do the podcast that wedo.
Mine is Anxiety, simplified.
There's books, there's so muchout there right now about
learning some ways to deal withthis, whether it's self-worth or
helping with confidence.
Michelle Gauthier (06:33):
Yeah, I just want to pull out one thing that
you said there, because youmentioned this at the beginning
too.
When you first went tocounseling, before you became a
therapist, I had the sameexperience of thinking that I
was going to go to a therapistand she was going to be like
you're right, he's a jerk,everyone's wrong, you're doing
everything right.
And when it was like, hey,here's your part in this, sister
(06:56):
, you're creating this foryourself in your life.
I think that that is the first,most painful step to take is
just really focusing on radicalresponsibility of what you're
bringing into your own life.
You said, for example, that youwere married to an alcoholic.
So that's a situation that youknow you could put a lot of
(07:18):
blame on that other person, butyou won't be able to solve it
until you look at your part init and you know take
responsibility.
So the reason why I'm bringingthis up is because you just said
again I want to make sure allthe listeners heard you loud and
clear that no matter whathappened when you were growing
up or what situation you're innow, you don't have to blame
anybody else or judge yourself.
(07:41):
You're probably doing the bestyou could up to this point.
But starting now, if you wantto feel less anxious, less
overwhelmed, more confident,start thinking about what you
own, and the good news aboutthat is that you own it, so you
can change it, you can makeyourself feel better.
I just had to give that littleaside because I just could not
(08:01):
wait to hear how I was amazingand how everyone else was
messing up.
Therapist, which you need, youneed that too.
Well, I could get that from mymom, you know in my case, right?
Joanne Williams (08:12):
I don't have to go to a therapist for that.
Michelle Gauthier (08:15):
Yeah, yeah, it is very good, you know a
couple of things on that.
Joanne Williams (08:18):
I feel like the other side of the coin to
blaming is responsibility.
There's always two sides and yetwe can blame and complain, like
you're saying, but it doesn'tdo any good.
The only way is taking a hundredpercent responsibility of your
part and, you know, moving intoit.
But I'll tell you a skill thatI also learned in therapy, that
(08:38):
I use every day and everythingthat I do, as well as in therapy
, because I don't think anybodyever taught this or really
talked about it how, like yousaid, it's your responsibility
and you can change it.
But understanding that yourthoughts are what starts that
process, that create the emotionthat's connected to it that
(09:01):
then creates the behavior thatyou take.
Because if you're talking abouttaking responsibility to maybe
feel uncomfortable, calmer inyour life, let's say, or more
confident in your life, if thatstarts with the thought I'm
nothing, I'm worthless andwhatever, you're not going to go
to a confident, calming thought, you know.
(09:21):
And so, re-looking at becomingmore aware of the thoughts that
you're putting in your head,that you are responsible for now
and be able to look at it in adifferent way that is much more
supportive and much more kinder.
I would say really to buildwhatever that strength or
(09:44):
confidence that you want.
Michelle Gauthier (09:47):
And how do you do that?
So if you realize that you'rehaving a thought like I'm not
good at this, I'm not good atanything or whatever would
create that feeling ofinsecurity, then what?
Joanne Williams (09:59):
Well, and I came up with this ACT blueprint
that I use a lot.
First, the A is just becomeaware.
You've got to notice, you'vegot to recognize and I think
that's the hardest part to saythe truth, start to recognize
what you are actually saying toyourself, and you've probably
said this a million times, sothat's why it's out of your
awareness.
(10:20):
And that's really the firststep.
But then the second step, orthe C, is connect what you're
telling yourself to what youwant to feel.
And if you want to feelconfident, what could you be
saying to yourself?
And a lot of times it'sabsolutely the opposite of what
you've been telling yourself.
So that's kind of a littletrick.
(10:40):
If you're already saying Ican't, well then you got to.
How can you come up with it?
I can do this.
I may need help, I may not knowhow, but I know for sure I will
be able to.
And you can just give yourselfthat feeling enough times to
start, go like the little enginethat could the chug, chug, chug
.
You can just continue thatpattern.
(11:01):
And that's the T of the ACTTrain your brain.
You got to retrain it to go tothis new pattern, being aware,
connect your thought with yourfeeling really to go to.
I got this, I feel this, and Ithink that's always the missing
piece.
I think we're always in ourhead about things oh, this or
that, that, no, get to yourheart.
(11:21):
See if you can get down to yourheart and feel what you're
saying.
I got this, I know, I can, Iwill and feel it.
Michelle Gauthier (11:33):
And if at first they don't feel it, is it
still worth it to practice that,or should they try something
different?
Joanne Williams (11:40):
You have to.
There's no way about same thingyou know just about how do you
build confidence.
You don't have it in thebeginning, but how do you get
anything?
How do we get out of the thirdgrade?
How do we go intomultiplication?
We didn't jump from addition tomultiplication, we had to learn
(12:00):
, you know, how to add, subtractand then do division, and then
we went on and on.
This is no different.
But if you expect yourself tobe able to jump, I got this.
I'm going to fake thisconfidence, no matter what
People see through it.
And if you have to fake it fora minute, but you got to get to
the feeling it, and there's onlyone way, and it is doing it,
(12:24):
practicing it Like just thepractice, practice, practice.
Michelle Gauthier (12:26):
Yes, practice , practice.
I like to think about it.
For me, I was like 40-something, I don't remember, when I
started doing this kind of work,where I started having
awareness of my thoughts andwhat my self-talk was and I
thought, well, it took me 41,two years to get here with this
pattern.
So now it's luckily, it doesn'ttake that long to build a new
(12:48):
one, but it takes some time.
You can't just like flip aswitch and, you know, get going.
So I love that, I love theencouragement and like the grace
or kindness to give yourself tosay this might take a minute,
we're going to have to keeppracticing this, but it's so
worth it when you can startgetting your confidence from
(13:09):
yourself and your own thoughts,instead of trying to get it from
your job or someone else'sapproval, because those are not
foolproof methods.
In fact they're the opposite.
Joanne Williams (13:20):
Yeah, and you know, I feel like sometimes when
you start a new practice likethat, it's like trying to stop a
locomotive on the tracks itjust runs you down.
You just miss it.
Oh, I missed another.
Oh, I missed it, oh, but Icaught one.
So one out of a hundred youcatch and change that pattern,
Then it'll be, you'll catch moreand more of them and then
(13:42):
you'll get caught off guard alot less and won't get run over.
You'll go.
Oh yeah, because this one feelsso good.
I like this new feeling.
Michelle Gauthier (13:51):
Yeah, I love that.
That's such a good way to thinkabout it.
Okay, so if somebody out thereright now is thinking I know I
have some negative self-talkthat I need to change, be
encouraged that it is totallypossible and that you can start
just by starting to notice yourthoughts, connecting your
thoughts and your feelings.
And then is the last what Isthe T taking action?
Joanne Williams (14:12):
Retrain your brain.
You got to keep doing it.
That's the practice.
That's right.
That's right.
Michelle Gauthier (14:17):
Retrain your brain.
I like that.
Act.
That's good.
I like it, Okay, great.
So another area that I know youfocus on and I noticed in the
picture that we're going to beusing for this podcast, you have
a dog on your lap.
I do.
Joanne Williams (14:33):
I'm surprised, I don't right now.
Yeah, I don't.
Michelle Gauthier (14:36):
My dog's under there.
Joanne Williams (14:37):
I just looked yeah, she's under my desk.
Michelle Gauthier (14:38):
But she's big , she weighs 65.
She can't sit on my lap.
She'd like to?
She can yeah.
Joanne Williams (14:44):
They still think they're lap
Michelle Gauthier (14:47):
Yes, yes, exactly.
So tell me about your work withthat and helping people get
certified to have dogs and theeffect you think that dogs can
have on anxiety, confidence orany so huge?
Joanne Williams (15:01):
Well, about 13 years ago I was just on a plane
and I had a little dog but Ididn't know about any of this,
that you could do that and hewas a little crate and he was
acting up and I was justpanicked.
And I had panicked and so thatwas the kind stewardess that
came over and says you know,there's a program.
(15:22):
If you wanted to get a letterfrom a mental health
professional that states youneed your dog, you could fly
with him on your lap.
I'm like what?
And they have.
There's a flying law.
I'm like what?
And they have.
There's a flying law.
It's called the Air Care AccessAct, and so ever since then so
I've been a therapist forprobably 20 years.
At that point I didn't evenknow about that law.
(15:43):
And there's a law that you canFair Housing Act, that you can
have your dog in no pet housing,and so they did change the
flying law four years ago thatit has to be a psychiatric
service dog and now it's onlydogs to fly, and that is the
third law that covers this,called the Americans with
Disabilities Act.
(16:04):
A lot of people hear it as theADA and that states if your dog
recognizes, responds and reducespsychological symptoms.
They can be a psychiatricservice dog.
So I've been doing this now.
Well, I started, like I said,with emotional support animals,
but about 13 years, and so I andyou have to have psychological
(16:30):
symptoms right and the tasks arethat they're trained to do
connects the task with theirdiagnosis anxiety, panic, ptsd,
depression and that's what I do.
And then, once they getcertified, they get a letter to
be able to give for housing orthey give it a little ID card
that has a picture of theirlittle doggy.
(16:52):
I'm showing a little picturethat you have your dog for an ID
to go into stores to show or apublic places or public
transportation.
So I find it for a lot of myclients again, my specialty is
anxiety and PTSD.
Now, using a dog is a gamechanger in their lives.
They will go to the store, theywill go to family gatherings
(17:14):
because they can bring their dog, or social outings where
they're like I'm too shy, I'mgoing to stand in the car, I'm
not going to talk to everybodywho sees the dog and that's all
they want to talk about.
Like, great, take the focus offof me and put it on the dog.
Yeah, happy to go.
So it can be really lifechanging.
Michelle Gauthier (17:33):
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's amazing.
So what do you have to do?
Do you have to do anything withthe dog?
Or do they get the dog trainedsomewhere?
Or are a lot of these dogs?
I'm thinking my dog's had notraining.
In fact, she could use sometraining on not eating off the
counter as an example.
But I promise you, when any ofthe three of us who live in this
(17:53):
house are sick, upset, anythingis wrong, she immediately knows
it.
She will come over, like if I'mcrying, she licks the tears off
my face, or even if I just feelupset, she'll just come and lay
by me.
Joanne Williams (18:16):
I mean she knows, and I don't think she's
special in that way.
I think she's really specialand I don't think she's special
in that way.
I feel like dogs just have asixth sense.
For that Our sun dogs do, andthat's the key, and you know.
But the training, the basicbehavioral training sit, stay
calm has to be there becauseagain they're going with you in
a crowded, you know, airport orsitting on a plane.
So they're all even ouremotional support animals had to
have basic training, basictraining, doggy training Like
(18:38):
the army.
You know the who can't, but youcan get that almost anywhere.
You know PetSmart or whatever.
I did, the AKC, good Citizens,you know, and you can get some
certifications for that.
But truly, even for a servicedog that for medical now,
psychological and medical theykind of divide it up.
(18:59):
They're all service dogs butpsychiatric or medical, for
blindness, hearing impaired no,none of these three laws have
ever stated that you have tohave professional trainers or,
you know, be professionallytrained with an organization,
ever.
They can train their own dogand, just like you're saying,
your dog already is in tune withyou.
(19:21):
That's what all of these dogskind of are first, and then this
piece that they have torecognize.
Though, like you said, youstart crying, something's up,
they come to you.
It's not about you calling themover when you're anxious.
They have to respond to thatanxiety or panic attack or
something and then do the task,what they do for you.
(19:44):
Maybe they can take you througha crowd.
They just kind of move youthrough a crowd, maybe it is.
They just can get on your lapand find pressure therapy.
But it's got to reduce youranxiety or panic so you don't
have panic attacks.
So they have to and you have toknow how to say that.
And then I do a training withpeople on what to say what you
(20:07):
never have to say, because it'sone thing to get a psych yet,
but then what do I say to thestore owner?
It's one thing to get a psychkit, but then how do I?
How, what do I say to the storeowner?
You know if they say things toyou.
And so that's a second part ofthis, that I train people to
really know how to use their dogconfidently, because most
people with anxiety or PTSD,they're already shell-shocked in
(20:29):
the center.
If you ask me anything, they gointo deer in the headlights,
look but, but, but, but.
They can't.
Their mind freezes up, they goblank.
And so the training is weactually role play this?
What are you going to say?
Do it again.
Well, I'll get this so you canjust flick this off.
And so it really helps them tofeel confident, to be able to
use their dogs.
Michelle Gauthier (20:50):
I'm just shuddering, thinking about the
questions that people probablyask dogs.
Joanne Williams (20:54):
I'm just shuddering, thinking about the
questions that people probablyask.
Oh, and there's only two thatthey have to respond to, which
is really good.
One is is your dog requiredbecause of a disability?
So what I'm certifying is theyhave a psychological,
psychiatric disability becauseof their symptoms, right?
The other one is what is thetask that your dog is trained to
(21:19):
help you with?
And that is what I was justsaying.
My service dog is trained torecognize that my anxiety is
increasing, responds by comingover, leaning into me, getting
my lap to apply pressure therapyto reduce my anxiety, or
something like that, and youjust get the recognize, respond
and reduce in that statement andthat's all that's required.
(21:43):
But I got to tell you it's notreally funny but that's why I
train, because you do get thesewacko kind of statements.
One of the clients told me theysaid the person asked what's
wrong with you.
Michelle Gauthier (21:54):
Mm-hmm, that's exactly what I was
picturing.
Someone say Yep, yep, and Iswear.
I like to think that people arenot trying to be in there, just
being curious, but they don'tknow how to say it.
But how does one respond tothat?
Joanne Williams (22:10):
Well, the way I train is again on the back of
the little ID card.
There is what you can only ask.
What is the task my dog istrained to do?
Or is my dog required becauseof a disability?
Which one would you like me toanswer?
So I always come up withnon-confrontative ways, and
that's part of the training.
So they know what to say,because I'm telling you, they're
(22:32):
dying inside.
They are so scared and soanxious, and the reason why they
need their dog there with them.
But people don't realize thatthis is so debilitating for so
many people and that their dogstruly help them.
And you know, I feel like wegive lip service to more mental
health services andda-da-da-da-da, but there's
(22:53):
still just a lot of judgment.
Oh, you don't look like youneed a dog.
You don't look like you havepanic, you know, and it's like
public.
Please be kind Don't judge.
Michelle Gauthier (23:07):
Yeah, I wonder what a person looks like
who has panic.
I didn't know that there was acertain look to it or what
you're supposed to look like.
Joanne Williams (23:18):
Yeah, and I'm telling you, when you ask them a
question, watch their eyes.
Yeah, you know they get big andyou'll see that I don't care.
I can't even speak, and that'sthat.
You know there's fight, run orfreeze and PTSD.
They may get confrontative.
(23:38):
No, what are you talking?
That's funny, right, freeze up.
I can't say anything.
I'm getting out of here, I'mnot dealing with this, and so
that's what the responsegenerally is, and people do not
understand that that is aresponse to a trauma in their
past that has made it so hardfor them to live life.
Michelle Gauthier (23:57):
That's such a great way to think about it.
Okay, well, I love that you dothat too.
That's so cool.
So you're teaching the humanhow to manage through those and
then teaching them how to managewith their dog, taking them in
public places so that they canbe out and about everywhere?
Okay, tell us.
These are the questions that Iask everyone on the show.
Joanne Williams (24:17):
So tell us what's something that you do
when you're feeling overwhelmedor anxious and you want to feel
better vagus nerve, not like LasVegas, but V-A-G-U-S nerve, and
(24:42):
it's our largest nerve thatruns from our gut to our brain,
that these medical researcherswere looking for?
What would stimulate that vagusnerve to calm you and, within a
minute, to send a calmingchemical into your system?
Just breathing, four count inyour nose, breathing out your
mouth, and eight count, and evenI find it even in like three to
(25:03):
five rounds of this.
They suggested doing about 10rounds until you feel the shift
or release.
And when you do, you can.
It's like a.
I don't know if you've evertaken Xanax, but it's like that
feeling like, oh, it's just animmediate Okay, like I'm going
to be okay, yes, yeah, yeah.
Michelle Gauthier (25:22):
When I come out of overwhelm, my first
thought is like okay, I canthink now, yes.
Joanne Williams (25:27):
That's what this does, because that's what
the thing it does.
It stops overthinking, it getsyou out of the overwhelm loop.
I call it back to zero or reset, so you can think, because you
can't think and feel the sametime.
If you're in an anxiety oroverwhelm spiral, you're just in
it.
You can't do it.
You can breathe to get back tozero.
(25:48):
To go to those thoughts Again,a new thought what would help me
right now?
I got this.
I've done this a million times.
I'm good at so many things.
I can do this.
I don't have to feel it, but Iuse this all the time.
I teach this to every singleclient.
Michelle Gauthier (26:06):
Okay, that's awesome, I love it.
Good, okay, and then the secondquestion is what is something
you do consistently to save time?
Joanne Williams (26:16):
Save time, I'm going to turn it around a little
bit.
I feel like I do a daily kindof spiritual practice and
meditation that takes me to aplace where I feel like I can
expand my energy field to beable to do more with less
anxiety and less overwhelm.
So I just have these spiritualpractices.
(26:38):
My daughter, seraphine Coatesshe's on my podcast too and she
just really teaches these moreesoteric kind of ways to build
self-love in her soul workcourses and I feel like that's
what it is.
It's like how can you give moreto yourself to have more
capacity as mothers, as women,as entrepreneurs, as we have to
(26:59):
do this, that and all theseother things that we do in our
lives?
It's almost like I like to justbuild my capacity to do more
with less overwhelm.
Michelle Gauthier (27:07):
And that's what I feel like these do.
Yeah, because I mean, even ifyou frame it in the way that I
originally was asking the wasteof time, the thing that you're
doing is avoiding waste of time.
The thing that you're doing isavoiding overwhelm and like,
what a waste of time.
That is because, at least forme, in overwhelm nothing good is
happening.
Joanne Williams (27:26):
I'm just spinning.
Michelle Gauthier (27:28):
So if you can do something ahead of time so
that you save yourself all thattime of overwhelm, that's
awesome.
So what does your morning looklike?
What do you do?
Joanne Williams (27:37):
And I've done this for 30 years.
That's the other key.
You've got to do something thatyou really develop and love.
You can't wait to do it, but Ihave.
I live in Florida, so I havethis beautiful lanai that I sit
out and there's a little canaland nature's right in front of
me, birds and all thesebeautiful feelings you know of.
And then I have a candle.
I like, I like smells.
(27:58):
So, I add that to my practice.
I have this comfy place in mycushion chair that I sit and I
will listen to either you knowsome meditation that I've
created, or that my daughter, orsome kind of practice.
That again brings me back to mycenter.
It's really part of myself-care practice that when I'm
(28:19):
done, I just go oh, I'm ready,I'm ready to take on more, I'm
ready for the day.
But it almost like draws methat I have to.
It's like not brushing my teethin the morning if I didn't do
it.
Michelle Gauthier (28:32):
It's like okay, okay, that's a solid habit
then.
Joanne Williams (28:35):
Yeah, I must, and it just cause it just feels
so good.
Michelle Gauthier (28:40):
Yeah, yes, I will sometimes think I don't
have time to do this morningroutine today.
And when I skip it, I am alwayssorry, and I more than make up
for the time that that wouldhave taken me in time, because
I'm just not in the rightmindset to get things done and
you know to have my day, butthat's so great, okay.
(29:01):
So what's a new thought there?
It's a great use of my time todo this right now.
Yes, so tell us where peoplecan find you if they want to
learn more about you or followsome of the things that you're
doing.
Joanne Williams (29:24):
Yes, oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, so, for psychiatricservice dogs, I've got a website
called ESA Pros.
Esa is like emotional supportanimal but E-S-A-P-R-O-S.
com, and there's informationabout whether you want an
emotional support animal forhousing or a psychiatric service
dog to go all places with you,and there's a 30-second
pre-qualification that you canjust right then and there see,
and it's a screening so you'llknow if you qualify and then
(29:46):
people move forward with that.
I do have a podcast on all themajor platforms Anxiety
Simplified Podcast that peoplecan do, and same for YouTube
Anxiety Simplified Podcast.
I'm on TikTok as well, so I'mand Facebook and I'm kind of
everywhere.
Joanne S S like, say, williams,so I'm kind of everywhere and I
(30:11):
really intend to do more, withcourses now on confidence
building coming up in the fall.
So there'll be more I'll becoming out with as well.
Michelle Gauthier (30:21):
Okay, so if people are following you on
Instagram, for example, willthey see that when it comes?
Joanne Williams (30:25):
out, it's available Okay.
Michelle Gauthier (30:27):
Okay, perfect , I will link all of that in the
show notes.
And then what about your newmagazine article?
I'll link that as well.
How about that?
Joanne Williams (30:36):
Oh, I'm so proud of this.
I'm telling you I really havenever been a writer but I sent
in an article on they werelooking for articles on
overcoming anxiety and I sent infive strategies and it got
accepted at this magazine calledMedium like in the middle, not
small, but Medium and it'sreally this really nice magazine
(30:58):
that really goes into humaninterest stories and kind of
strategies.
It's straightforward, kind ofshort ways, and I and I've loved
it.
So I got accepted for it andI've actually got an interview
with she wants to add a videointerview to it as well this
week, so I'll be doing that.
But you can find it onmediumcom.
Michelle Gauthier (31:19):
And I have the link because I saw the
article, so I will put it inshow notes as well, please.
Joanne Williams (31:26):
Great job.
Michelle Gauthier (31:26):
Great job getting the word out there about
anxiety and opportunities likehaving a dog to help you with
that and helping people of allkinds have more confidence.
I just love what you're puttingout into the world.
Thanks for being with us today.
Joanne Williams (31:42):
Thank you very much.
Michelle Gauthier (31:50):
Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed
Working Woman podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
com.
See you next week.
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