#163: These 4 Habits Are Fueling Your Overwhelm and Draining Your Time: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Overwhelm often stems from four specific habits that keep us trapped in stress cycles despite our best efforts to break free.

Understanding these habits and how to overcome them can transform your daily life.

In this episode you'll learn:
 – The detrimental effects of multitasking and how to embrace single-tasking for better efficiency
 – The art of saying no to create the essential white space in your schedule
 – How to practice "gain thinking" to stop negative self talk and be more productive

Tune in now to gain actionable insights and start your journey toward a more balanced and stress-free life by playing this episode today.

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're wondering why you keep feeling overwhelmed
, day after day, week after week, maybe year over year, today
I'm going to give you the insidescoop on why You're listening
to Overwhelmed Working Woman,the podcast that helps you be

(00:23):
more calm and more productive bydoing less.
I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former Overwhelmed Working
Woman and current life coach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences, andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hey, thank you so much forjoining today, friend.

(00:58):
It's good to have you here.
Today.
We are going to look at thefour habits that will keep you
stuck and overwhelmed, fourhabits that will keep you stuck
and overwhelmed.
We are going to look atmultitasking, overcommitting,
perfectionism and negativeself-talk.
We're going to explore whythese habits can become such a
problem and contribute tooverwhelm, and you know I'm
never going to leave you hanging.
I'm also going to give you thesolutions for each one of these

(01:20):
and give you actionable steps tostop doing these things that
are keeping you stuck in stressand overwhelm.
So let's get into it, okay?
So, like I said, we are goingto look at four habits that are
keeping you stuck in overwhelm,and the very first one is
multitasking.
Multitasking is one of thosethings that seems like it would

(01:42):
be a good idea.
It feels like, oh, I'm going tobe oh so efficient and do two
or three things at one time.
Just be on a call, but I'm alsogoing to answer a couple emails
while I'm on that call.
And what happens when you dothat studies actually show this
is that multitasking forces yourbrain to rapidly switch tasks,

(02:03):
because we can't actually do twothings.
That you're maybe listening onthe conference call for 10
seconds, then you switch to theemail and you're focusing on
that for 10 seconds, but tunedout from the conference call,
then you go back to that.
So when you're forced torapidly switch tasks between
things, it leads to decreasedefficiency and increased

(02:23):
distractibility, and it's proventhat you make more errors,
which completely makes sense tome.
I absolutely make errors whenI'm trying to multitask.
It's also not great for yourbody.
It temporarily raises yourstress levels and your blood
pressure and your heart rate, soI don't even have to explain
why that's not good.
It's just putting additionalunnecessary stress on your body.

(02:44):
Also, as a funny side note, asI was writing this part of the
podcast, my son came in while Iwas trying to concentrate and
write and asked me to Google acar that he really needed, to
show me that he wants.
Keep in mind it's like a$200,000 car, not a car that
he's actually going to begetting anytime soon in life.
So such is life we getinterrupted and we have to

(03:05):
either multitask or switch tasksback and forth sometimes, but
the good news is and this is thesolution is that we can solve
the additional stress that'scaused by multitasking simply by
not multitasking.
A term that I love is singletasking, so that is just where
you focus on one task at a time.

(03:26):
I'm going to give you a coupleideas for when and how to do
that.
What I mean by that isscheduling a specific time for
your emails, so you can checkyour emails, maybe at nine and
noon and four, and if youimmediately want to push back on
that and think, like I can't dothat, maybe you check yours on

(03:46):
the hour.
If you have that kind of job.
Another thing you can do isjust limit your distractions.
I always keep my phonenotifications off, but when I'm
working I will turn my phoneupside down or set it in a
different part of the room.
So it's just one less thingthat I have to worry about.
I don't need to get anotification or hear a sound

(04:07):
that my phone potentially couldmake, or even just see something
on the screen.
Another quick way to improveyour ability to single task is
to declutter the space whereyou're working.
So, for example, if your deskhas a bunch of stuff on it, I
often have my notebook and maybesome post-it notes or things
that I'm writing on, and everytime they catch my eye they kind

(04:27):
of distract me.
So if I really need toconcentrate on something, it's
very helpful to me to close mynotebook, set it at the edge of
my desk, clear off the 15 cupsthat I usually have on my desk
by the afternoon, and then I canreally focus and get to work.
The second habit that's keepingyou stuck and overwhelmed is
overcommitting.
So we've got multitasking first, overcommitting second.

(04:50):
The definition ofovercommitting is to obligate
yourself beyond what you havethe ability to fulfill.
So think of it like this as ananalogy If you have $10,000 a
month and you buy a house with amortgage payment of $11,000 a
month, you literally haveobligated yourself to an amount
that you cannot fulfill, youcannot pay.

(05:12):
Now, think about your time,like that money.
Think about how many hoursthere are in a week, 24 hours in
a day, 168 hours in a week.
How many of those are youalready committed to working or
sleeping?
And of those hours that areleft over, you don't want to
fill every single one of them up.
You want to have some that arefree and white space.

(05:35):
The solution for this and, Ithink, much like multitasking,
this can just become a habitwhere you say yes to everything.
You try to fit in everything.
Even though you're jam packed,you'll try to fit one more thing
in there.
So the solution to this is toevaluate.
So do I really want to do this?
Don't commit to what you don'thave to get.

(05:55):
Be super selective about whatyou commit to, and don't forget
to leave yourself some whitespace.
There is a great episodeepisode number 51, where I talk
about the calendar cleanoutmethod that I use to manage my
calendar.
I put things on the calendarbased on how long they will take
, and that helps me knowrealistically what I can get

(06:17):
done in a week.
It even has a free worksheetfor you to get it all figured
out, so check that out if thisis an area where you know that
you struggle.
The third thing that can keepyou stuck and overwhelmed is
perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a tough onebecause if you're a person who
has high standards, paysattention to detail, has a

(06:39):
strong work ethic andcontinuously tries to improve
themselves, those are all greatqualities, but those also, if
taken too far, turn intoperfectionism.
And when it turns toperfectionism, that can cause a
lot of overwhelm.
Because when you are aperfectionist or use
perfectionistic thinking asyou're working on something, you

(07:02):
set high standards that arebasically unattainable
Perfection is unattainable.
Standards that are basicallyunattainable Perfection is
unattainable.
Nobody is perfect leading todissatisfaction and a sense of
failure with anything that youdo.
So let's say you work on aproject and you get it to 99%,
complete and perfect, andthere's one outstanding issue If

(07:24):
you're a perfectionist, you mayfocus on that 1% and that
constant dissatisfaction orsense of failure will be there
with you because of that 1% thatkeeps you in overwhelm, because
you can never actually fullycomplete a task.
Then, just like we were talkingabout the tasking,

(07:44):
perfectionism is associated withincreased levels of stress,
anxiety and even depression, andit can have a pretty
significant impact on well-beingand just mental health overall.
When you obsess over details, itcan be very hard to, it makes
you more inefficient and itoften can result in missed
deadlines.
So here are some quick thingsthat you can do to combat

(08:07):
against perfectionism, if thisis an area where you suffer.
Number one is limit the timethat you spend on tasks.
So if you have a pitch that youhave to create for work and you
know that you could easilyspend 10 hours working on it,
try to figure out how many hoursyou actually need and then set
time limits and work in it,maybe in spurts.

(08:28):
So let's say you work one hourtoday and one hour tomorrow and
you consider that to be your asBrene Brown says crappy first
draft.
So you put it together it's notperfect yet, but at least you
can get it on a piece of paperand then you assign yourself a
third hour where you can makethe edits, make it look as good
as it can be and then call itdone.

(08:48):
Another great thing I thinkthis is a huge tip for people
who are perfectionists is toseek feedback from others, and
what I mean by that is if you'veworked on that pitch for three
hours and it feels like, oh mygosh, there's still so far to go
.
And you run it by a trustedcolleague who says, yeah, it
looks great.
Or you take it to your boss andshe says, yeah, this looks
awesome.
Okay, so that is perfectionism.

(09:16):
The last and final one that willkeep you stuck in overwhelm is
negative self-talk.
I want to talk to you a littlebit about what negative
self-talk actually is, becausesometimes I see people who have
negative self-talk we all do.
Some people have a lot ofnegative self-talk and they kind
of beat themselves up forhaving it.
So I just want you to remembera couple things about the

(09:37):
thoughts in your head.
One is the thoughts that comeinto your head are not optional.
They're not in your control,they're just popping into your
head.
So if you have a thought thatcomes in, let's just say I'm
working on this podcast and Ihave a thought that comes into
my head that says this is a dumbepisode and nobody's gonna like
it.
I didn't create that thought,it just popped into my head.

(10:00):
So it's helpful to think aboutthat, that your brain just
sometimes offers negativethoughts and when it does, what
you do have an option to do isto evaluate that thought, decide
if you want to believe it andbelieve if it's true or not.
So, for example, let's just gowith this podcast example that I
was talking about.
When it comes into my head, Ican just observe.

(10:21):
Oh interesting, I just noticedthat that negative thought
dropped into my head and I'mjust going to go ahead and let
it drop out the other side, likeit can just pass on through my.
You can notice that yourthoughts are not in your control
.
As far as what comes into yourhead, you can also observe your
thoughts without being attachedto or involved in them.

(10:42):
The reason why negativeself-talk really keeps us in
overwhelm is because, once again, it increases stress and
anxiety, because it creates thissense of inadequacy and a fear
of failure.
So if I'm really thinking thispodcast is terrible and nobody's
going to listen to this episode, I'm thinking, okay, well then,
why am I?
So if I'm really thinking thispodcast is terrible and nobody's
going to listen to this episode, I'm thinking, okay, well then,
why am I doing this?

(11:02):
I'm afraid it's going to fail.
I don't even want to put it outthere.
So it really makes us hesitantto do things and that, in turn,
over time, decreases yourself-esteem, and when you
decrease your self-esteem, youstart losing belief in your
abilities.
And then it's just anothervicious cycle where negative
thoughts can create fear.

(11:23):
Fear creates avoiding tasks,resulting in unfinished tasks,
which leads to more negativeself-talk, which then leads to
more overwhelm.
So, again, just like the one Igave you the example of before,
this is just a thought loop thatcan happen, but right now I
want to just give you a couplesolutions that you can do right
away.

(11:43):
First is recognizing andchallenging your negative
thoughts, like I just explainedto you.
Noticing that those thoughtsare coming into your head, but
also remembering that you don'thave to attach to them, you
don't have to engage with them,and that you can challenge them
or come up with new, morepositive thoughts.
The positive thought has to betrue too.

(12:04):
It has to feel true to you.
So if I'm thinking this podcastepisode is the worst one ever,
I'm going to let that thought goand I can replace it with.
I don't know how this one'sgoing to do, but I feel really
passionate about the topic.
As an example, the second thingyou can do is practice gain
thinking.
Episode 63 talks about thisconcept of gap versus gain

(12:27):
thinking.
What gain thinking means isthat you look backwards at what
you have already done and youfocus on your past successes and
learn to focus on what you'redoing well.
So, for example, if I'mthinking to myself, this podcast
isn't going to be good, thisepisode is going to be terrible,
I can look back.
I can easily measure my pastsuccesses.

(12:49):
I can just log into my podcastand see how many people have
listened to each one of theepisodes.
I can see the reviews that Iget.
I can see that I'veconsistently done it over time
and by focusing on what has goneright, it helps me come up with
true, positive thoughts that Ican use to combat that.
So, in summary, we've looked atthe four habits that contribute

(13:11):
to feeling overwhelmed and tokeep you stuck in that overwhelm
, including multitasking,overcommitting, perfectionism
and negative self-talk.
What I want you to take awayfrom this episode today is,
without judgment, just noticingwhich one of those areas is your
biggest struggle.
If you had to choose from oneof the four, and then when you

(13:31):
choose which one, it is like,let's just say you choose
overcommitting then go back toone of those solutions that I
suggested.
So maybe what you do is you golook at the tool for how to
manage your calendar better, andnext week you work on removing
a couple meetings or commitmentsthat you've made to yourself.
So just take one tiny steptowards solving this overwhelmed

(13:55):
problem that you're feeling.
The goal of this particularepisode is not to make you feel
more overwhelmed because youneed to fix a bunch of things.
Just choose one, choose onesolution and try to implement
that one.
All right, that's it for today.
Hopefully you are ready to takeyour one small step to move
into feeling less overwhelmed.

(14:15):
If you would write a review, ifyou haven't done so already, I
would absolutely appreciate it,and yours may be the next one I
read on the podcast.
Have a great week and see youon Monday.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman

(14:36):
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegothiercom.
See you next week.