Does getting rid of something a loved one gave you feel like betrayal—even if you’ve never used it once?
If your basement, storage bins, or drawers are filled with sentimental items that bring guilt instead of joy, you’re not alone. This episode breaks down why emotional attachment to “stuff” creates mental clutter, and how outdated beliefs keep overwhelmed working women stuck in cycles of stress.
In this episode, you will:
- Learn the 3 sneaky, guilt-ridden “rules” we all follow about sentimental clutter—and how to rewrite them.
- Discover how to separate memories from material items, and what that shift can do for your peace of mind.
- Hear real-life examples (including what I did with 12 dining chairs that do not match my house at all) to help you reframe, repurpose, or release items—without regret.
If you're ready to clear space in your home and your mind, press play to learn the simple, soul-soothing rules for letting go of sentimental clutter today.
Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.
Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!
Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.
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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michelle Gauthier (00:01):
Does the thought of getting rid of
something that someone you lovegave you make you feel weirdly
guilty?
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that former
overwhelmed working woman andcurrent life coach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences, andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hi, friend, I think we all havethings that we've kept for
(00:44):
sentimental reasons I know forsure I do and depending on how
much that is, it can be a causeof clutter, even if that clutter
is just in your basementstorage room, and we all know
that physical clutter equalsmental clutter and mental
clutter equals overwhelm.
So today you're going todiscover why emotional
attachment to items isn't reallya reason to keep them, and I'm
(01:07):
going to give you four sane,simple, guilt-free rules for
letting go of sentimentalclutter.
And then you sort of have thosein-between items that you feel
like are too special to toss,but it's not something you
really want to use.
So I'm going to give you.
The first thing I want to say isthat not all sentimental items
are equal.
So, for example, I have thistiny little delicate tea cup and
(01:31):
I love it.
It's not my usual style, Idon't drink tea, but I love it
because it belonged to my Nanaand every time I see it I feel
warm and loved and connected toher and my cousins.
She had this whole set ofteacups and they weren't one set
.
When my grandpa would go ontrips, or they would go on trips
, she would get one cup andsaucer.
(01:52):
So none of them match eachother, but she gave us each one
and so it just makes me feelreally loved and connected, even
though I don't drink tea.
That particular cup is 100% akeeper for me.
But not everything sentimentalgives us that Nana's teacup
feeling.
And the truth is I think that'sthe line that feeling is your
(02:13):
compass.
We hang on to stuff because wefeel like we should.
I know for sure that I used tothink if someone made me
something by hand, or if someonewho I love gave me something,
or if someone who I love gave mesomething that I have to keep
it.
When I got divorced I was goingthrough basically everything
(02:34):
that I owned and deciding whatto keep and what to give away.
And I was moving into a muchsmaller house and I really
wanted to simplify my life.
So I got really serious aboutfiguring out what I wanted to
keep and what I didn't.
So I realized that I had someunwritten rules for myself and I
want to share them with you.
The unwritten rules I had formyself were actually not good at
all, and when I rewrote them Imade a new, good version of them
that was actually helpful.
(02:55):
So I'm going to share thosethree rules with you and see if
this helps you if you'rethinking about cleaning out some
of your emotional orsentimental clutter.
So the first rule that I had formyself is if the item is from
someone I love, I have to keepit forever.
And the rewritten version ofthat rule was loving a person
and loving an item they gave youare two totally different
(03:17):
things.
So the happy memories that youhave with that person will not
be enhanced by keeping theirtablecloth in a bottom drawer
for seven years.
Nor will the memories bediminished if you give their
tablecloth in a bottom drawerfor seven years.
Nor will the memories bediminished if you give that
tablecloth away and I wrote thisone specifically because a
great aunt of mine had given mea tablecloth I think the reason
why she gave it to me is becauseshe didn't especially like it
(03:39):
and she never used it.
So it's not like it was evenher favorite thing, but I just
thought, well, I love her andshe gave it to me, so I'm just
going to keep it forever.
And I kept moving it from houseto house, never one time got it
out or used it.
What is the point of that?
And actually I felt really goodwhen I gave it away, because
it's like someone else could beusing this.
Maybe someone else would lovethis.
(04:07):
The second rule that I had formyself is if the item is
handmade by anyone, I have tokeep it forever.
This one can just be replacedby the revised rule number one,
right?
So if an item is handmade, rulenumber one still applies.
And rule number one, just toremind you, is loving a person
and loving the item they gave.
You are two totally differentthings.
Just like you could love anitem from someone you dislike,
you could love an item fromsomeone you dislike, you can
dislike an item from someone youlove.
(04:28):
They are totally not connectedto one another.
And the third unwritten rulethat I had for myself is, if the
gift giver ever comes to myhouse, he or she will expect it
to be displayed and appreciated.
Talk about putting a lot ofpressure on myself right To be
like ooh, what was that thing?
(04:51):
That candle that that persongave me, I should get that out
and I should burn that candle ifthey're coming over.
And my new replacement for thatrule is a gift is a gift and it
should be given with zerostrings attached.
So your responsibility as thereceiver, or my responsibility
as receiver, is to thank theperson for the gift and
appreciate the time they took toselect it or buy it or make it
for you.
(05:11):
End of story.
So it could be true that theymight expect you to have it and
cherish it forever, but that'stheir expectations and that
doesn't have to be yourexpectations.
You can't help what theirexpectations are.
They also might expect that youdon't keep it forever or that
you don't display it in yourhouse.
We really don't know.
(05:32):
But just remember that your jobis to sincerely thank the gift
giver and that's it.
And also remember this rule istrue when you give gifts.
Your job is to happily give agift with no strings attached.
So you can imagine how thoserules that I had for myself.
If the gift is from someone Ilove, I have to keep it.
If the gift is handmade byanyone, I have to keep it.
(05:53):
If the gift giver ever comes tomy house, they will expect it
to be displayed and appreciated.
Imagine how many things thatstayed in my house because I had
those rules, and now imaginehow many things exited my house
because I had the new rules andI promise you it felt so good to
get rid of so many things.
(06:15):
I didn't give away everything.
There were some things that Ifelt really were important to me
.
Even though an item is just anitem, they felt really important
to me.
For example, my grandmothergifted me her dining room table
and chairs and it was one of herprized possessions.
She just absolutely loved it.
I had had many a meal growingup, even when I was a little
(06:38):
girl, sitting at that table, soit was special to me, but it was
completely not my style.
The chairs especially.
My house is really modern andcontemporary and they were very
ornate and classic.
So when I received them,according to all my old rules.
I just put them in my basementstorage area and paid movers to
move them two or three times.
(06:59):
And, by the way, there were like12 chairs.
It was a lot of chairs andfinally, when I revised my rules
, I knew I didn't want to givethem away.
I gave away so many things butI knew I didn't want to give
them away.
So I thought how could Ipossibly reuse these, remake
these?
Could I use them for adifferent purpose?
So it was a set of 12 chairsand I decided to keep two.
(07:22):
I offered the other ones to mycousins and my siblings to make
sure no one wanted the ones Iwas giving away.
No one did, so I ended up justgiving the rest of those chairs
away.
But I kept the two, like the Ithink they're called host chairs
, the ones that have like thearms on the side, like you'd sit
at the head of the table.
And I hired a designer toremake them to fit the style of
(07:46):
my home, not the wooden part ofthe chair, but to make some
cushions with really modernpatterns on them.
So it looks kind of cool like acombination of her and me
together and I love them.
I've used them all over myhouse and when I see them it
makes me happy because it feelslike something that I love and
something that came from someoneI love.
Another way you could dosomething like this if you have.
My sister actually did the samething.
(08:07):
She had a ring that sheinherited, but she didn't love
the setting, so she used thejewel stone part of it set into
a little necklace, and she lovesthat.
You could have furniturepainted.
I've done that many times.
You could frame a quilt square.
You could make a shirt into ascarf or a pillow, so there's
(08:28):
many ways that you can reuse orchange up an item in a way that
suits you.
So I think the biggest takeawayfrom this is if the clutter is
causing you a headache which Ithink clutter always does, even
for me, if it's in my basement,in the storage room, I can still
feel it down there.
If it's giving you a headacheor making you feel overwhelmed,
(08:48):
I think the biggest thing toremember is that loving a person
and loving an item they gaveyou is not the same thing, and
that your memories with thatperson will not be diminished if
you donate an item that theygave you, nor will they be
enhanced if you keep that itemin your basement storage room
for the next 20 years.
Reach out to me and send me amessage if this has helped you
(09:09):
or if you have any questions.
I would love to help you thinkthrough your own sentimental
clutter to reduce your overwhelm.
Have a great week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
(09:29):
com.
See you next week.
Does the thought of getting rid of
something that someone you lovegave you make you feel weirdly
guilty?
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that former
overwhelmed working woman andcurrent life coach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences, andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hi, friend, I think we all havethings that we've kept for
(00:44):
sentimental reasons I know forsure I do and depending on how
much that is, it can be a causeof clutter, even if that clutter
is just in your basementstorage room, and we all know
that physical clutter equalsmental clutter and mental
clutter equals overwhelm.
So today you're going todiscover why emotional
attachment to items isn't reallya reason to keep them, and I'm
(01:07):
going to give you four sane,simple, guilt-free rules for
letting go of sentimentalclutter.
And then you sort of have thosein-between items that you feel
like are too special to toss,but it's not something you
really want to use.
So I'm going to give you.
The first thing I want to say isthat not all sentimental items
are equal.
So, for example, I have thistiny little delicate tea cup and
(01:31):
I love it.
It's not my usual style, Idon't drink tea, but I love it
because it belonged to my Nanaand every time I see it I feel
warm and loved and connected toher and my cousins.
She had this whole set ofteacups and they weren't one set
.
When my grandpa would go ontrips, or they would go on trips
, she would get one cup andsaucer.
(01:52):
So none of them match eachother, but she gave us each one
and so it just makes me feelreally loved and connected, even
though I don't drink tea.
That particular cup is 100% akeeper for me.
But not everything sentimentalgives us that Nana's teacup
feeling.
And the truth is I think that'sthe line that feeling is your
(02:13):
compass.
We hang on to stuff because wefeel like we should.
I know for sure that I used tothink if someone made me
something by hand, or if someonewho I love gave me something,
or if someone who I love gave mesomething that I have to keep
it.
When I got divorced I was goingthrough basically everything
(02:34):
that I owned and deciding whatto keep and what to give away.
And I was moving into a muchsmaller house and I really
wanted to simplify my life.
So I got really serious aboutfiguring out what I wanted to
keep and what I didn't.
So I realized that I had someunwritten rules for myself and I
want to share them with you.
The unwritten rules I had formyself were actually not good at
all, and when I rewrote them Imade a new, good version of them
that was actually helpful.
(02:55):
So I'm going to share thosethree rules with you and see if
this helps you if you'rethinking about cleaning out some
of your emotional orsentimental clutter.
So the first rule that I had formyself is if the item is from
someone I love, I have to keepit forever.
And the rewritten version ofthat rule was loving a person
and loving an item they gave youare two totally different
(03:17):
things.
So the happy memories that youhave with that person will not
be enhanced by keeping theirtablecloth in a bottom drawer
for seven years.
Nor will the memories bediminished if you give their
tablecloth in a bottom drawerfor seven years.
Nor will the memories bediminished if you give that
tablecloth away and I wrote thisone specifically because a
great aunt of mine had given mea tablecloth I think the reason
why she gave it to me is becauseshe didn't especially like it
(03:39):
and she never used it.
So it's not like it was evenher favorite thing, but I just
thought, well, I love her andshe gave it to me, so I'm just
going to keep it forever.
And I kept moving it from houseto house, never one time got it
out or used it.
What is the point of that?
And actually I felt really goodwhen I gave it away, because
it's like someone else could beusing this.
Maybe someone else would lovethis.
(04:07):
The second rule that I had formyself is if the item is
handmade by anyone, I have tokeep it forever.
This one can just be replacedby the revised rule number one,
right?
So if an item is handmade, rulenumber one still applies.
And rule number one, just toremind you, is loving a person
and loving the item they gave.
You are two totally differentthings.
Just like you could love anitem from someone you dislike,
you could love an item fromsomeone you dislike, you can
dislike an item from someone youlove.
(04:28):
They are totally not connectedto one another.
And the third unwritten rulethat I had for myself is, if the
gift giver ever comes to myhouse, he or she will expect it
to be displayed and appreciated.
Talk about putting a lot ofpressure on myself right To be
like ooh, what was that thing?
(04:51):
That candle that that persongave me, I should get that out
and I should burn that candle ifthey're coming over.
And my new replacement for thatrule is a gift is a gift and it
should be given with zerostrings attached.
So your responsibility as thereceiver, or my responsibility
as receiver, is to thank theperson for the gift and
appreciate the time they took toselect it or buy it or make it
for you.
(05:11):
End of story.
So it could be true that theymight expect you to have it and
cherish it forever, but that'stheir expectations and that
doesn't have to be yourexpectations.
You can't help what theirexpectations are.
They also might expect that youdon't keep it forever or that
you don't display it in yourhouse.
We really don't know.
(05:32):
But just remember that your jobis to sincerely thank the gift
giver and that's it.
And also remember this rule istrue when you give gifts.
Your job is to happily give agift with no strings attached.
So you can imagine how thoserules that I had for myself.
If the gift is from someone Ilove, I have to keep it.
If the gift is handmade byanyone, I have to keep it.
(05:53):
If the gift giver ever comes tomy house, they will expect it
to be displayed and appreciated.
Imagine how many things thatstayed in my house because I had
those rules, and now imaginehow many things exited my house
because I had the new rules andI promise you it felt so good to
get rid of so many things.
(06:15):
I didn't give away everything.
There were some things that Ifelt really were important to me
.
Even though an item is just anitem, they felt really important
to me.
For example, my grandmothergifted me her dining room table
and chairs and it was one of herprized possessions.
She just absolutely loved it.
I had had many a meal growingup, even when I was a little
(06:38):
girl, sitting at that table, soit was special to me, but it was
completely not my style.
The chairs especially.
My house is really modern andcontemporary and they were very
ornate and classic.
So when I received them,according to all my old rules.
I just put them in my basementstorage area and paid movers to
move them two or three times.
(06:59):
And, by the way, there were like12 chairs.
It was a lot of chairs andfinally, when I revised my rules
, I knew I didn't want to givethem away.
I gave away so many things butI knew I didn't want to give
them away.
So I thought how could Ipossibly reuse these, remake
these?
Could I use them for adifferent purpose?
So it was a set of 12 chairsand I decided to keep two.
(07:22):
I offered the other ones to mycousins and my siblings to make
sure no one wanted the ones Iwas giving away.
No one did, so I ended up justgiving the rest of those chairs
away.
But I kept the two, like the Ithink they're called host chairs
, the ones that have like thearms on the side, like you'd sit
at the head of the table.
And I hired a designer toremake them to fit the style of
(07:46):
my home, not the wooden part ofthe chair, but to make some
cushions with really modernpatterns on them.
So it looks kind of cool like acombination of her and me
together and I love them.
I've used them all over myhouse and when I see them it
makes me happy because it feelslike something that I love and
something that came from someoneI love.
Another way you could dosomething like this if you have.
My sister actually did the samething.
(08:07):
She had a ring that sheinherited, but she didn't love
the setting, so she used thejewel stone part of it set into
a little necklace, and she lovesthat.
You could have furniturepainted.
I've done that many times.
You could frame a quilt square.
You could make a shirt into ascarf or a pillow, so there's
(08:28):
many ways that you can reuse orchange up an item in a way that
suits you.
So I think the biggest takeawayfrom this is if the clutter is
causing you a headache which Ithink clutter always does, even
for me, if it's in my basement,in the storage room, I can still
feel it down there.
If it's giving you a headacheor making you feel overwhelmed,
(08:48):
I think the biggest thing toremember is that loving a person
and loving an item they gaveyou is not the same thing, and
that your memories with thatperson will not be diminished if
you donate an item that theygave you, nor will they be
enhanced if you keep that itemin your basement storage room
for the next 20 years.
Reach out to me and send me amessage if this has helped you
(09:09):
or if you have any questions.
I would love to help you thinkthrough your own sentimental
clutter to reduce your overwhelm.
Have a great week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
(09:29):
com.
See you next week.
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